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1
00:00:02,770 --> 00:00:04,000
**
2
00:00:04,038 --> 00:00:05,468
[ Sniffs ]
3
00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:08,206
Whoa! For once I come in here
and something smells good.
4
00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:09,642
[ Laughs ]
5
00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:11,477
It's Beverly Rose's
first day of kindergarten.
6
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,512
I wanted to do
something special,
7
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,677
so I'm making her
Cap'n Crunch pancakes
8
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:18,046
with whipped cream
and strawberries on top.
9
00:00:18,086 --> 00:00:19,246
Good idea.
10
00:00:19,287 --> 00:00:21,157
Get her jacked up
on sugar here
11
00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:22,959
then hand her off
to her teacher.
12
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:27,529
Where's the pack
of frozen strawberries?
13
00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:30,901
Oh, I was using it
as a cold pack in bed
14
00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:32,871
for my sore shoulder.
15
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:36,070
If you need a cold pack,
use the frozen broccoli!
16
00:00:36,104 --> 00:00:38,874
That's the only reason
we buy it.
17
00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:41,336
I don't like having broccoli
that close to my mouth,
18
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:42,475
but okay.
19
00:00:43,911 --> 00:00:46,751
So, the big day
is finally here.
20
00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:48,920
I have a little present
for Beverly Rose.
21
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:53,451
Oh, my gosh. You're giving her
a pencil case.
22
00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:56,157
Yeah. It's my old one. See?
It says, "Trust no one."
23
00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:00,592
Wow. You looking
to hit on the teacher?
24
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:02,258
'Cause that
car-wash perfume says,
25
00:01:02,296 --> 00:01:03,926
"Buy me a sandwich
and I'm yours."
26
00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:08,966
No. I just want to make
a good impression on him.
27
00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:10,302
And if he's rich
and single
28
00:01:10,338 --> 00:01:12,308
and only teaching
to ease his guilt
29
00:01:12,340 --> 00:01:15,040
about the money,
that's a bonus.
30
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,435
Okay.
So you're sucking up.
31
00:01:16,477 --> 00:01:18,877
You know that sends a message
to your kid, right?
32
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,982
There is nothing wrong with
trying to be the teacher's pet.
33
00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:24,715
You gotta work the system
to succeed.
34
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:26,552
Is that why you always
dressed like your teacher
35
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,557
when you were a kid?
36
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,659
First of all, I look great
in knit separates.
37
00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:32,932
And it worked.
38
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:35,560
She loved me so much,
I doubled my wardrobe
39
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:38,526
after her husband left her
and her new love became pie.
40
00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:41,574
When's Beverly Rose
coming up?
41
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,302
I'm here to document
the big day.
42
00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:45,267
Aww! That's so sweet!
Yeah.
43
00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:48,006
I want her to have good memories
of her first day of school.
44
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:50,141
My mom said
I was too plain to like,
45
00:01:50,178 --> 00:01:52,248
so she told me
to put on a skirt,
46
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,150
climb up to the top
of the jungle gym,
47
00:01:54,182 --> 00:01:55,822
and, that way,
at least I'd be popular
48
00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:57,949
with the boys
on the bottom.
49
00:01:57,985 --> 00:01:59,285
But it didn't work,
50
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:01,360
so she made sure
I had a wad of dollar bills
51
00:02:01,389 --> 00:02:04,789
I could pass out
so the boys would talk to me.
52
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:06,955
So it was like the opposite
of being a striper.
53
00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:09,664
You showed them your underwear
and gave them money.
54
00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:11,327
You are correct!
55
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,337
I'm putting a note
in Beverly Rose's lunch.
56
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:16,599
Aww.
57
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,007
I made sandwich
in the shape of a heart.
58
00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:21,009
Tell me
if this is too much.
59
00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:24,306
[Voice breaking]
"When you eat this,
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00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:26,975
my heart will be
in your tummy all day."
61
00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:29,649
[ Camera whirs ]
62
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:33,489
You know,
I knew this would be
63
00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:35,391
a really emotional morning
for you...
64
00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:36,663
[ Jackie laughs ]
65
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:38,230
...so I cleared
my schedule
66
00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:40,659
so I could ride with you
to school for support.
67
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:43,134
You're just trying
to co-opt my moment.
68
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,673
I'm prepared for today.
69
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:50,140
Oh, my God!
You're really going?!
70
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:53,470
I'm not gonna see you
till noon!
71
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,477
I knew this would happen.
72
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,309
[ Camera whirs ]
73
00:02:57,345 --> 00:03:00,575
So, just off the top of my head,
you want a ride?
74
00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:01,924
[Crying] Yeah.
75
00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:08,959
**
76
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:17,868
**
77
00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:22,697
-- Captions by VITA --
78
00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:25,136
[ Humming ]
79
00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:29,506
[ Chuckles ]
80
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,213
Ooh! Man.
81
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:40,352
Gah! Unh!
82
00:03:40,388 --> 00:03:41,788
Aah! Unh!
83
00:03:45,293 --> 00:03:47,263
You know, they sell
ketchup in stores.
84
00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:49,625
You don't have to
make your own.
85
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:50,763
Don't make fun
of the guy
86
00:03:50,798 --> 00:03:53,198
holding
the skillet.
87
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,573
I'm almost old enough
to kill you
88
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:57,412
and not care about
doing the time.
89
00:03:57,438 --> 00:03:59,138
But you'd have to kill me
with your left hand,
90
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:01,882
which I don't think
you can do.
91
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:04,409
So, I see your bursitis
is still acting up.
92
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:06,475
It'll be fine.
Fine?
93
00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:08,124
A tomato just beat you
94
00:04:08,148 --> 00:04:11,118
in a fight, old man.
95
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:13,251
You know, I might be able
to help you out there.
96
00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:15,817
I've had some training
in Reiki,
97
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:18,486
and they say that I have
healing powers.
98
00:04:18,526 --> 00:04:21,156
[ Chuckles ]
99
00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:25,732
You're not gonna touch me,
are you?
100
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,496
No, no. I'll just --
101
00:04:27,535 --> 00:04:30,435
My hands will just hover
over the area where it hurts,
102
00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:34,271
and then I'll use my energy
to remove the blockage
103
00:04:34,308 --> 00:04:37,348
and so the healing
can take place naturally.
104
00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:39,308
Okay, but no touching!
No, no.
105
00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:41,517
No, you just close your eyes
and try and relax.
106
00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:43,319
Alright.
107
00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:47,151
Now, my hands are just
applying the vibration.
108
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:52,089
Right there. Okay. So...
109
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,755
Here we go. Hm.
110
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:57,834
[ Humming Reiki chant ]
111
00:04:57,865 --> 00:04:59,695
Fbpht!
112
00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:03,003
[ Humming Reiki chant ]
113
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:04,266
Fbpht!
114
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,514
[ Chuckling ] Wow! Whoa!
115
00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:08,210
[ Laughs ]
116
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:11,313
Anything?
No.
117
00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:12,945
No?
Allow it in, Dan.
118
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:15,050
I'm allowing it,
Jackie!
119
00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:18,492
Skepticism is
the barrier to health.
120
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,149
Alright.
121
00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:23,487
So...I'm just
gonna have to extend
122
00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:26,864
the frequency of my energy
and dig a little deeper.
123
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,304
You're not gonna
touch me though, right?
124
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,558
No, you big baby.
I'm not gonna touch you.
125
00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:31,828
Hey, guys.
126
00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:33,825
[ Screams ]
Ow! You touched me!
127
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:35,537
What are you freaks
doing?!
128
00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:38,339
Your grandfather is suffering
from severe bursitis
129
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:40,972
in his shoulder,
and I'm just trying to heal him.
130
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:43,138
I don't know why you boomers
are waving your hands around
131
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,676
when you could just
smoke some weed.
132
00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:48,723
I do it every morning to
loosen up before I exercise.
133
00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:50,249
Then I don't end up
exercising
134
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:52,253
and I just watch TikToks
of people falling down.
135
00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:54,185
But I still feel great.
136
00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:55,691
He doesn't need
more drugs.
137
00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:59,533
No, his old veins, they can
barely transport the blood.
138
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:02,100
And knock it off
with the old-guy stuff.
139
00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:03,759
I used to smoke weed
in high school
140
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:06,697
when I hurt myself
playing football.
141
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,774
I kinda forgot about it
'cause I used to smoke weed
142
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:11,042
in high school when I hurt
myself playing football.
143
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:12,611
Yeah. That was then.
144
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,740
Now you drink like a fish.
You eat like crap.
145
00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:16,505
You don't need to throw
any more trash
146
00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:19,954
onto that landfill
you call a body.
147
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,750
Well, the weed today
isn't trash.
148
00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:23,422
You can walk
into a dispensary
149
00:06:23,451 --> 00:06:25,251
and get carefully
cultivated stuff.
150
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:27,245
It might help your pain,
Grandpa.
151
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:30,462
We're going
to the weed store.
152
00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:31,691
Jackie:
Oh, great. Yeah.
153
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,525
I'm going with ya.
'Cause you're gonna need
154
00:06:33,561 --> 00:06:36,461
somebody from the streets
who can speak the lingo.
155
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,868
Oh, that'd be nice,
but I think Snoop Dogg's busy
156
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,440
making cupcakes
with Martha Stewart.
157
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:46,635
I was talking about me.
158
00:06:46,674 --> 00:06:49,284
You haven't even taken a toke
of the jazz cabbage,
159
00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:51,949
you can't follow
a simple conversation.
160
00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:54,479
**
161
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:56,815
Okay, Littles,
now, what is this shape?
162
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,150
Triangle.
163
00:06:58,185 --> 00:06:59,745
Thank you,
Beverly Rose.
164
00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:01,587
And this is a...
165
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:03,662
Rectangle.
166
00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:06,331
She's kind of a chip
off the old block.
167
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:08,329
Don't let the spaghetti stains
fool you.
168
00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:10,301
Honors Society.
Three years running.
169
00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:12,970
Massive underachiever.
170
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,170
And I really hope
we can hear
171
00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:16,341
from some of the other kids
tomorrow.
172
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:18,909
Clean-up time!
173
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:21,609
Beverly Rose's mom,
can I speak to you for a second?
174
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,340
I know what
you're gonna say.
175
00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:26,347
Beverly Rose
does seem to be
176
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:27,949
mopping the floors
with these kids.
177
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:30,251
But it's not a contest.
178
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,953
She's clearly very bright.
179
00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:33,915
I know.
And vocal.
180
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,264
Maybe too vocal.
181
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,618
I'm sorry?
182
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:38,457
This is supposed to be
a time for the Littles
183
00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:41,602
to not only learn,
but to gain some self-esteem.
184
00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:45,169
But Beverly Rose isn't giving
any of the other kids a chance.
185
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:46,798
She only feels free
to talk
186
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:49,474
because you have created
such a safe environment.
187
00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:51,973
And that is a testament
to your teaching.
188
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:53,535
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
189
00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:56,314
Teacher of the Year.
190
00:07:56,343 --> 00:07:57,853
Unfortunately,
I've had to move
191
00:07:57,878 --> 00:08:01,678
Beverly Rose's clothespin
from green to yellow.
192
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:05,785
Whether or not they turn it
around is all about the parent.
193
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:08,959
Oh. Wow. Okay.
194
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,819
Well, you are looking
at a parent
195
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:14,028
who is great
at turning things around.
196
00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:16,501
By the way,
love the knit separates.
197
00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:23,535
I am so proud of you
198
00:08:23,571 --> 00:08:26,211
for having such a good
first day of school.
199
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:27,679
I answered
all the questions.
200
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:29,178
Yes, you did.
201
00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:31,679
And that's what
we're gonna talk about.
202
00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:34,012
Even if you know
all the answers,
203
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:36,747
it might be nice to give
the other kids a chance.
204
00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:38,994
But it takes so long
for them to answer.
205
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,889
And then they do it wrong!
206
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,986
Well, it's okay
to be wrong.
207
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:48,325
They can't help it
if they're not as smart as you.
208
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,801
That's what I told them
so they wouldn't feel bad.
209
00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:56,571
If you don't let
the other kids answer,
210
00:08:56,604 --> 00:08:58,844
your clothespin
is gonna stay on yellow.
211
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:01,042
And we don't want that.
212
00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:04,014
You are a green clothespin
daughter.
213
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,554
And I am a green clothespin
mommy!
214
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,375
Okay.
215
00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:13,417
Okay. I gotta get back
to The Lunch Box.
216
00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:14,693
Which is evidently
217
00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:17,062
what a green clothespin
gets you in life.
218
00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:21,229
I have boobs and blond hair,
and that just kills you.
219
00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:27,472
Did you ever get
a yellow clothespin?
[ Door opens ]
220
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,100
Uh, well, I passed
through yellow...
[ Door closes ]
221
00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:31,096
...on my way
to permanent red.
222
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:36,584
Does it bother you that
you got a yellow clothespin?
223
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:38,450
I guess so.
224
00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:39,908
But...?
225
00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:42,147
I like knowing
all the answers.
226
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,122
Well, then
you keep answering.
227
00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:46,691
And if somebody tells you
to stop, you do it louder.
228
00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:51,855
Look, I love your mom
like a sister, but...
229
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:57,257
...the clothespin thing
is just a scam.
230
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,797
I mean, you don't feel like
you did anything wrong, do you?
231
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,843
No, but when I say
too many answers,
232
00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:04,299
I don't get to go
to the prize bucket.
233
00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:07,507
Well, the prize
is knowing that you rock
234
00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:10,740
and those other kids
are losers.
235
00:10:10,778 --> 00:10:14,078
Now, speaking of losers,
236
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,924
you want to sit in
on a meeting
237
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:18,889
of a bunch of really pathetic
green-clothespin people?
238
00:10:21,689 --> 00:10:23,219
Oh!
I wasn't muted.
239
00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:28,101
**
240
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,928
Whoa.
Look at all this.
241
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:33,073
It's like Seth Rogen
and Willy Wonka had a baby.
242
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:37,365
Kinda sad.
It's so corporate.
243
00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:40,144
There was something sweet
about buying drugs in the park.
244
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:44,641
-Can I help you?
-Easy, slick!
245
00:10:44,678 --> 00:10:46,508
He may look like
a decrepit old fool,
246
00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:49,846
but he's got me with him,
'cause he is.
247
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:52,223
I just need something
for pain.
248
00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:54,552
The pain of living
in an unjust world
249
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:55,987
where the planet's
burning up
250
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:57,833
and we're losing our rights
to fascist rule?
251
00:10:57,858 --> 00:11:00,188
Or, like, a hurt foot?
252
00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:04,295
The foot one,
but it's in my shoulder.
Yeah.
253
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,171
I used to smoke a little
in high school.
254
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:09,339
Oh, yeah, we both did.
A couple of hopheads, yeah.
255
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:10,899
And I tell you,
we didn't get our grass
256
00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:12,708
from some doobie warehouse
like you softies.
257
00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:14,510
We had to go to the other side
of the tracks
258
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:15,911
to see the doodah man!
259
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:21,312
I've tried a lot of stuff
with CBD in it,
260
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:23,518
and it just doesn't seem
to be helping.
261
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:24,920
You're a pretty big guy.
262
00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:26,522
I think you can handle
some strong flower.
263
00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:29,155
This is Nightmare.
264
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,989
It's, uh, very high in THC.
265
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,755
Or there's this one.
266
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:34,964
It's called Brain Bleed.
267
00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:38,767
It's strong, but you can
play tennis on it.
268
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:43,543
I just need something where
I can't feel my shoulder.
269
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:45,710
This one's called
I Can't Feel My Face, but...
270
00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:48,344
...it'll probably work
on the shoulder.
271
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:49,575
Do you want gummies
or flower?
272
00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:51,079
Candy!
273
00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:53,011
Okay.
That will be $40.
274
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,376
Holy crap.
40 bucks.
275
00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:56,354
Don't you have a barrel
where he can just bag
276
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:58,293
a couple of loose ones?
277
00:11:58,318 --> 00:11:59,748
Sorry, ma'am.
This isn't taffy,
278
00:11:59,787 --> 00:12:03,087
and this isn't Coney Island
in the '30s.
279
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,893
Listen,
Harry Pothead.
280
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:09,129
I've destroyed
more opportunities with drugs
281
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:10,902
than you'll ever
hope to.
282
00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:17,938
Oh, dude,
you gotta be high.
283
00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:22,706
**
284
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,412
Beverly Rose, go downstairs
and wash your hands
285
00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:27,714
and I'll make you
a snack, okay?
286
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,077
We need to talk.
287
00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:31,816
Alright. Fine.
Hang on. I'm at work.
288
00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:35,661
I agree
with what Anne said.
289
00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:37,018
[ Keyboard clicks ]
290
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:41,290
Go.
291
00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:42,898
When I picked up
Beverly Rose,
292
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:44,400
her teacher said
that she was
293
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:47,271
twice as aggressive
as she was yesterday.
294
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,400
"Aggressive"
or "assertive"?
295
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:51,266
'Cause there's
a big difference.
296
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:53,614
Before, she was just answering
all the questions.
297
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,780
Now she's actively calling
out the kids for being dumb.
298
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,612
And when her teacher threatened
to give her a red clothespin,
299
00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:03,048
she said it was a scam!
300
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,522
Well, that is very perceptive
for a 5-year-old,
301
00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:09,764
and you should be proud.
302
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,359
You told her that!
303
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:13,431
She asked me if I ever got
a yellow clothespin.
304
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,330
And she asked me 'cause
she didn't understand
305
00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:17,302
why she was in trouble
for being smart.
306
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:18,930
All I told her
was to be herself.
307
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,366
It was none
of your business.
308
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:21,770
You should have
stayed out of it.
309
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,141
Well, Beverly Rose shouldn't
have to hide her light.
310
00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:25,941
You want her playing stupid
all her life
311
00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:27,543
just so people like her?
312
00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:30,684
It's not playing stupid.
It's being strategic.
313
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:33,280
Angry little ball-busters
who alienate everybody
314
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:36,053
don't get rewarded
in school, Darlene.
315
00:13:36,083 --> 00:13:38,853
Uh, they made me
crossing guard, Becky!
316
00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:42,693
Yeah, on the most
dangerous street
317
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:44,932
the farthest away
from the school!
318
00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:49,834
Don't you wonder why they never
gave you the reflective vest?
319
00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:54,099
They told me
they ran out of them!
320
00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:00,007
Asking Beverly Rose not
to answer is wrong, Becky.
321
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,010
No, it's not.
She needs to learn
322
00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:04,042
how to get along with people
in the real world.
323
00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:06,477
Get along
or know her place?
324
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:08,653
I cannot believe
you didn't defend her.
325
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,521
You know, Mom had her problems,
but she would have
326
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,750
gone down there and ripped
that teacher's head off.
327
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:14,885
Yeah, and then you're the kid
with the crazy mom.
328
00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:17,092
How'd you like that?
329
00:14:17,124 --> 00:14:19,994
Well, I wanted to crawl into
a hole while she was doing it,
330
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,227
but it made me feel protected
and more confident,
331
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:24,232
and that made me stronger.
332
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:26,104
You have to think about what
kind of person you're teaching
333
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:27,873
Beverly Rose
to become.
334
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:31,401
Yeah, you want her to be less
like me and more like you,
335
00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:33,368
and that's
the last thing I want.
336
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:36,006
Oh, really? You think it's
better for her to be like you?
337
00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:38,013
You were so anxious
to please
338
00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:40,605
that you gave up your education
and your family
339
00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:43,517
so that you could move
with Mark to Minnesota!
340
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:46,220
Wow. You have nothing else
to say to me.
341
00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:47,493
Get out of my face!
342
00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:51,361
You know, maybe if you were
easier to get along with,
343
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,391
they wouldn't make you
work at home!
344
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:57,634
They don't make me!
It's my option!
345
00:14:57,664 --> 00:15:01,134
**
346
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:04,603
[ Door closes ]
347
00:15:05,939 --> 00:15:07,309
What's going on?
[Meekly] Nothin'.
348
00:15:09,809 --> 00:15:12,809
Okay. How many gummies
did you take?
349
00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:14,105
I don't know.
350
00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:17,147
I took one,
and it didn't work,
351
00:15:17,184 --> 00:15:18,594
so I took a second one.
352
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:20,388
Then the first one
kicked in,
353
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,460
then I got hungry
and I took a third one.
354
00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:26,592
Don't ever take
the third one.
355
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:28,256
Okay.
356
00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:30,055
You're gonna sit down
on the couch right here,
357
00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:31,967
and everything's
gonna be fine.
358
00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:33,699
I can't walk.
Huh?
359
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:36,642
My feet
are on the wrong feet.
360
00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:40,912
You mean
they're not your feet?
361
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,610
No. What's wrong with you?
Of course they're my feet!
362
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:46,083
They're on the wrong legs! They
don't want to walk together!
363
00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:47,513
Okay, well,
I can help you with that.
364
00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:49,347
I can just
switch them back.
365
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:52,492
[ Speaks gibberish ]
They're all back! Okay?
366
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,819
Now let's go...
[ Chuckles ]
367
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,194
Go over to the couch.
368
00:15:56,223 --> 00:15:58,093
[ Shouts gibberish ]
369
00:15:58,125 --> 00:15:59,325
[ Shouts gibberish ]
370
00:15:59,359 --> 00:16:00,359
[ Laughs ]
371
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:02,633
Lie down.
372
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:04,832
Ohh. Ahh.
How long were we walking?
373
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:06,334
For like an hour, right?
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
374
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,368
Oh, God. You guys
got the edibles, huh?
375
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:11,703
Yeah.
376
00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:14,338
It's not candy, children!
Get him some carbs!
377
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,884
Yeah.
Hey.
378
00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:18,809
Uh, let's put something
on the TV for you, yeah?
379
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:21,245
Something soothing
and familiar.
380
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:23,682
[ Crowd cheering ]
381
00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:25,686
Go back.
Go back to the first one.
382
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:27,218
That's the screensaver.
383
00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:29,294
Stay there.
384
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,022
Okay.
Don't tell me how it ends.
385
00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:33,288
**
386
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:36,556
And which one of my Littles
knows what animal this is?
387
00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:37,726
A dog.
388
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:39,734
Good try.
389
00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:41,566
Look at the picture.
Read the word.
390
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:42,571
What does it say?
391
00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:43,742
Dog.
392
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:50,106
Okay, everyone. Good job.
See you tomorrow.
393
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:54,084
Hey, sweetie.
How was your day?
394
00:16:54,114 --> 00:16:56,354
We've got a green
clothespin now.
395
00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:57,923
That's great!
396
00:16:57,950 --> 00:16:59,650
I didn't talk all day,
397
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:03,056
and the teacher said
that was a good thing.
398
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:04,760
Wait.
You didn't talk at all?
399
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:08,901
No, even when I knew all
the answers, like you said.
400
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:11,058
It was really hard.
401
00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:12,828
And now the teacher
likes me,
402
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,995
and I got a yo-yo
from the prize bucket.
403
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:19,035
Well, there's
a Pavlovian nightmare.
404
00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:22,012
Honey, wait for me
in the hall, okay?
405
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,741
Oh, hi, Becky!
406
00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:26,546
All my Littles got to talk today
and it was a much better day.
407
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:30,179
Beverly Rose participated
in a non-disruptive way.
408
00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:31,847
What do you mean
"participated"?
409
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,094
She just sat there
shut down all day.
410
00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:37,291
Oh, no. She was a very lively
listener and observer today.
411
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:39,434
Good job, Mom!
412
00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:41,189
Is that what we're
raising here --
413
00:17:41,228 --> 00:17:44,228
girls who are good little
listeners and observers?
414
00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:47,104
You're also teaching her that
if she shows how smart she is,
415
00:17:47,134 --> 00:17:49,074
she'll get punished!
416
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:51,872
She's learning from you right
now that she should be a woman
417
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:54,144
who keeps quiet
in the board meeting
418
00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:56,884
even if the CEO
is calling a cat a dog!
419
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,409
And I'll tell you
another thing.
420
00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:00,205
I don't give a damn
whether you think
421
00:18:00,247 --> 00:18:02,217
I'm a good mom or not.
422
00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:05,249
My kid will decide that
with her therapist in 20 years.
423
00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:10,916
But right now she is going
to answer whenever she wants,
424
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:13,287
and you will deal with it.
425
00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:14,486
Oh, my God.
426
00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:17,357
I just realized you're
one of those Conners.
427
00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:21,125
I remember your mom coming
into my third-grade class
428
00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:22,768
and losing it
on the teacher
429
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:26,272
because your sister Darlene
got a "D" on her diorama.
430
00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:28,776
She said, "How could
she get a 'D' on it
431
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:32,608
when Becky got an 'A' on it
when she turned it in?"
432
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:36,245
Oh, yeah, you're right.
You just got Conner-ed!
433
00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:38,083
And the apple doesn't fall
far from the tree,
434
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,347
so buckle up, buttercup!
435
00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:43,187
**
436
00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:45,593
Hey.
How ya feeling?
437
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,155
Well, the pain's back.
438
00:18:47,194 --> 00:18:48,364
Maybe I gotta face the fact
439
00:18:48,395 --> 00:18:52,865
that at my age
pains just don't go away.
440
00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:56,039
You really just didn't know
that you're old?
441
00:18:57,504 --> 00:18:59,344
No, when I wake up
in the morning
442
00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:02,642
I'm still the same guy playing
football in high school.
443
00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:04,305
Then when I try
to get out of bed,
444
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:05,714
there's a lot of
rocking and screaming
445
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:08,345
until I get the momentum
to stand on my feet.
446
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:10,021
It's a shame because
it sounds like
447
00:19:10,049 --> 00:19:11,449
the weed worked
for the pain.
448
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,324
You could pick a strain
that's not too strong
449
00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:14,653
and grow it yourself.
450
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:17,157
You already own a water bed.
It's the next logical step.
451
00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:19,390
And I'd save
40 bucks a week.
452
00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:21,386
Well, you could grow it
in your closet.
453
00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:23,858
I'll show you how.
454
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:27,226
Yes, I could move all my tuxedos
and cashmere driving coats
455
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:29,867
to the washing machine
in the driveway.
456
00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:32,812
Okay.
Let's do it.
457
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,509
Would ya like to grow drugs
with your old grandpa?
458
00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:36,912
[ Chuckles ]
459
00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:39,083
Aw, shucks, Grandpa.
That'd be swell.
460
00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:41,607
Hee-hee-hee!
461
00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:45,423
Go ahead and eat that
in the kitchen, hon.
462
00:19:45,452 --> 00:19:48,562
But don't let Grandpa see it,
or the clogged artery monster
463
00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:50,318
will come and get him
in the night!
464
00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:52,727
Okay.
465
00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:54,489
Ice-cream cone
right before dinner?
[ Door closes ]
466
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:55,697
Bad day, Mom?
467
00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:57,698
Horrible.
468
00:19:57,730 --> 00:20:00,130
I found out Darlene
was right about something.
469
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,241
And now I'm putting down
my phone.
470
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:07,568
You had a point.
471
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:10,277
I didn't listen.
472
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:13,010
I was so anxious
to please the teacher,
473
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:16,045
I made Beverly Rose
scared to talk.
474
00:20:16,082 --> 00:20:17,882
Oh, well, you don't
have to apologize.
475
00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:19,887
I didn't apologize.
I said you were right.
476
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:24,562
Well, I shouldn't have
gotten involved.
477
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:26,431
You know what I think
you both learned?
478
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:29,529
Is that Beverly Rose
shouldn't be you or you.
479
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,932
She'll figure out who
she's supposed to be -- me.
480
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:37,071
Yeah, if you strip away all
the layers of self-loathing.
481
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:40,711
And the crazy that
chills you to the bone,
482
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:41,970
you have...
483
00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:43,578
A shirt and a haircut
that belong
484
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:45,550
on a sculpture
in New Mexico?
485
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:48,618
[ Humming Reiki chant ]
Fbpht!
486
00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:50,448
[ Humming Reiki chant ]
Fbpht!
487
00:20:52,685 --> 00:20:55,085
**
488
00:20:57,957 --> 00:21:00,387
Grandpa, I brought you
an ice-cream sandwich.
489
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:02,997
I want to see the clogged
artery monster come and get you.
490
00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:04,599
Where did you hear that?
491
00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:07,501
Mommy, Aunt Jackie,
Aunt Darlene.
492
00:21:07,534 --> 00:21:09,604
Were they
planning something?
493
00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:11,166
Because if they were
hoping to see
494
00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:13,573
the term life insurance
monster,
495
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:16,806
I transformed him into
a mortgage payment monster
496
00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:19,083
and a new sewer line!
497
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:21,451
[Gravelly] And now
I'm a new kind of monster.
498
00:21:21,481 --> 00:21:23,921
Give me that
ice-cream sandwich!
499
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:26,120
And you're awful sweet.
I'm gonna eat you up, too!
500
00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:27,492
[ Beverly Rose squealing,
Dan growling ]
34907
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