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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,940 --> 00:00:07,620 Oh, Tina, look at you, girl. 2 00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:09,540 Yes, and look at you. 3 00:00:09,593 --> 00:00:12,080 - Oh, oh-oh, look at my husband. - Oh... 4 00:00:12,130 --> 00:00:14,670 Looking like a chocolate snack. 5 00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:15,920 Ooh. (CHUCKLES) 6 00:00:15,975 --> 00:00:17,590 You better know it. 7 00:00:23,107 --> 00:00:25,050 What kind of snack am I? 8 00:00:25,740 --> 00:00:29,140 Ooh, uh, you are looking like a... 9 00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:32,650 smoked gouda on a Triscuit. 10 00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:33,890 Ooh! 11 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,440 - You better know it. - Yeah. 12 00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:39,610 - Mm. - Oh, Dave, 13 00:00:39,660 --> 00:00:41,101 that's what you're wearing to the concert? 14 00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:42,610 (LAUGHS) 15 00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:44,660 Boy, white people get to wear anything. 16 00:00:46,620 --> 00:00:49,160 Well, at least his toes aren't out this time. 17 00:00:49,210 --> 00:00:51,080 Looking all long and weird. 18 00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:55,170 - Hey-hey. - TINA: Oh! 19 00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:57,170 There's our beautiful mother-to-be. 20 00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:59,310 Sorry we're late. I was gonna wear something else, 21 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,420 but I grew out of it as I was putting it on. 22 00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,620 Ooh, yes. 23 00:01:03,670 --> 00:01:05,180 Dave, you're not getting dressed? 24 00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,960 Damn it! I am dressed. 25 00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:10,810 Calvin, thank you so much for getting us these tickets. 26 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:12,850 We are huge Toni Braxton fans. 27 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:13,960 Ah, you're welcome. 28 00:01:14,010 --> 00:01:15,460 And just so you all know, 29 00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:20,070 this counts as everybody's birthday and Christmas gift. 30 00:01:20,122 --> 00:01:21,790 (CHUCKLES) 31 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:22,990 Excuse me? 32 00:01:23,042 --> 00:01:25,480 - Uh, not you, babe. No... - Oh. 33 00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:29,230 ? Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ? 34 00:01:29,250 --> 00:01:31,160 ? Welcome to the hood. ? 35 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:36,000 Calvin, thank you so much for getting Grover a ticket. 36 00:01:36,050 --> 00:01:38,660 You know, we played Toni Braxton for him in utero. 37 00:01:38,700 --> 00:01:41,009 It is so perfect that this is gonna be his first concert. 38 00:01:41,010 --> 00:01:43,010 He is so excited. 39 00:01:48,660 --> 00:01:50,460 Well, damn, he doesn't look excited. 40 00:01:51,170 --> 00:01:53,140 He looks like he's ready for bed. 41 00:01:54,610 --> 00:01:56,990 Grover, come on. You're gonna love it. 42 00:01:57,010 --> 00:01:58,620 This is the music you grew up on. 43 00:01:58,640 --> 00:01:59,960 I like her music. 44 00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:01,970 I just don't want to go to my first concert 45 00:02:02,020 --> 00:02:03,900 with a-a-a bunch of old people. 46 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:06,110 Who's he calling old? 47 00:02:06,130 --> 00:02:07,196 - Who the hell... ? - Okay, babe, babe, babe, babe. 48 00:02:07,220 --> 00:02:10,280 Hey... you know what? No, I'll give him a reason to go to bed. 49 00:02:11,540 --> 00:02:14,580 Now, Grover, go home and put on a real pair of pants. 50 00:02:14,630 --> 00:02:16,940 - Now. - Oh... 51 00:02:16,990 --> 00:02:20,580 My Triscuit went from gouda to pepper jack. 52 00:02:21,470 --> 00:02:24,380 Now, are you sure you're up to going out like this? 53 00:02:24,430 --> 00:02:26,710 Oh, yeah. I want to make the most of the last few weeks 54 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:27,970 before Daphne arrives. 55 00:02:28,020 --> 00:02:30,710 Yeah, and tonight is about fun. 56 00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:33,580 No stressing about the massive, life-changing event 57 00:02:33,590 --> 00:02:34,930 that's looming over us. 58 00:02:37,980 --> 00:02:39,450 I may miss a few songs, though. 59 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:41,990 This baby is breakdancing on my bladder. 60 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:44,800 Ooh, fear not. I have mapped out 61 00:02:44,850 --> 00:02:46,749 - every bathroom in the arena. - Oh. 62 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:50,110 Mm-hmm, and I packed a baggy of that sliced ham 63 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:51,500 that you go crazy for. 64 00:02:53,190 --> 00:02:54,920 Mmm, that's what I'm talking about. 65 00:02:54,970 --> 00:02:56,920 Yeah, come on. Give me some. All right. 66 00:02:56,970 --> 00:02:58,340 He's got a pocket full of ham, 67 00:02:58,390 --> 00:03:00,140 and I'm getting grief about khakis? 68 00:03:01,970 --> 00:03:03,670 Marty, that is so nice to see. 69 00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:05,460 I know you and Courtney are just friends, 70 00:03:05,510 --> 00:03:07,840 but you're such a good pregnancy partner. 71 00:03:07,890 --> 00:03:10,720 Just like I was. Chip off the old block. 72 00:03:11,750 --> 00:03:15,670 Really? 'Cause that's not how I remember the old block. 73 00:03:17,580 --> 00:03:20,730 - Okay. Okay. Are you comfortable? - (GRUNTING) 74 00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:22,940 - I'm supposed to make you comfortable. - (GROANS) 75 00:03:22,990 --> 00:03:25,740 Do I look comfortable to you? 76 00:03:25,790 --> 00:03:28,110 And stop touching my pillow! 77 00:03:31,140 --> 00:03:33,500 Mr. Butler, the baby's coming. 78 00:03:33,550 --> 00:03:35,360 - He's crowning. Look. - (HUFFING) 79 00:03:35,410 --> 00:03:38,720 Uh, you-you know what? Uh, I'm good. I'm good. 80 00:03:38,770 --> 00:03:40,810 You, uh, you, you do that. 81 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:43,380 I-I mean, you're the one that went to medical school and everything. 82 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:44,720 Calvin. Calvin, Calvin, Calvin! 83 00:03:44,750 --> 00:03:46,260 - Get the camera ready! - Okay. 84 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:48,760 - (GROANING) - Okay. All right, um... 85 00:03:48,810 --> 00:03:52,540 Okay. Uh, Doctor, um, you... you think while you're down there, 86 00:03:52,590 --> 00:03:54,230 you could, you could get some footage for me? 87 00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:56,970 (TINA HUFFS FASTER) 88 00:03:57,020 --> 00:03:58,680 I'm kind of busy right now. 89 00:03:58,730 --> 00:04:00,640 Nurse, forceps? 90 00:04:00,690 --> 00:04:02,710 - (CRYING) - All right. Okay. 91 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:04,860 - All right, I got it, baby. I got it. - Ooh! 92 00:04:04,910 --> 00:04:06,060 - We gonna see it. - Calvin! 93 00:04:06,110 --> 00:04:08,340 - Calvin! - We gonna see it. Here we go. 94 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:10,960 Oh, Lord, that's a lot of blood. 95 00:04:12,330 --> 00:04:13,490 Oh, God. 96 00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:15,450 I'm going down. 97 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:19,710 (SCREAMS) 98 00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:22,460 He wound up with a concussion. 99 00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:25,670 And me and Malcolm got out of the hospital before he did. 100 00:04:27,450 --> 00:04:29,420 Look, I was ready to go. 101 00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:31,110 But you know, when you got good insurance, 102 00:04:31,140 --> 00:04:32,760 they want to milk it. 103 00:04:33,390 --> 00:04:34,580 As soon as I got out, 104 00:04:34,630 --> 00:04:36,640 I did all of the fatherly duties. 105 00:04:36,690 --> 00:04:38,120 Fatherly duties? 106 00:04:38,170 --> 00:04:40,810 Mama said you ain't changed a single diaper. 107 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:44,110 I didn't change 'em, I bought 'em. 108 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:47,280 (PHONE CHIMES) 109 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,210 (EXCLAIMS) Guys, I have an announcement to make. 110 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:53,530 As a thank you to Calvin for getting us the tickets, 111 00:04:53,580 --> 00:04:56,490 I have hired a driver to take us to the show in luxury. 112 00:04:56,540 --> 00:04:58,410 Well, all right! 113 00:04:58,460 --> 00:04:59,870 ? ? 114 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:07,110 Trey? You hired Trey? 115 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:10,889 I am supporting a Black-owned business. 116 00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:12,810 (MURMURED AGREEMENTS) 117 00:05:12,860 --> 00:05:15,180 Trey, where'd you get this van? Is it even legal? 118 00:05:15,230 --> 00:05:17,189 Of course it is. I got it from the police auction. 119 00:05:17,190 --> 00:05:18,930 Oh, God. 120 00:05:18,980 --> 00:05:21,490 This traffic is terrible. 121 00:05:21,540 --> 00:05:23,260 Not for us, baby. 122 00:05:23,310 --> 00:05:24,990 Look what the police left in here. 123 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:26,810 (SIREN WAILING) 124 00:05:28,900 --> 00:05:31,030 Trey, I know that ain't legal. 125 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:33,290 People are getting out of our way. 126 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:38,690 Wait, so, uh, so, Pop, you really passed out when I was born? 127 00:05:38,740 --> 00:05:41,330 Calvin, come on. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. 128 00:05:41,340 --> 00:05:44,620 You know, sometimes we are just not our best selves under pressure. 129 00:05:44,670 --> 00:05:47,720 God, I remember when we were pregnant, 130 00:05:47,770 --> 00:05:50,320 we were exhausted. 131 00:05:50,370 --> 00:05:52,520 "We"? What did you do? 132 00:05:52,570 --> 00:05:56,840 Oh, Dave was very, very involved. 133 00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,950 - Ooh... ! - Okay, uh... 134 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,450 What do you need? Ice chips? Water? 135 00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:03,390 Let's just, let's just breathe. Um, want me to sing? 136 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:05,020 No. 137 00:06:05,070 --> 00:06:06,850 Twice was enough. 138 00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:09,980 - (GROANING) - Ooh. 139 00:06:10,030 --> 00:06:13,740 Honey, y-you look hot. Uh, let's mop that brow. Uh... 140 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:14,950 Sponge! 141 00:06:16,230 --> 00:06:17,670 You don't get to say that. 142 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:20,790 Must you fight me on everything, Donna? 143 00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:23,870 I understand it's go-time in here. 144 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:25,600 Ooh. Damn it, you know what? I missed that. 145 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:27,066 Do you mind taking your entrance again 146 00:06:27,090 --> 00:06:29,790 and maybe saying something like "It's showtime"? 147 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:32,719 Dave. Stop it. 148 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:34,700 Okay, honey, you look tense. You know what? 149 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:36,600 Let me put on my special mix CD. 150 00:06:36,650 --> 00:06:38,390 Toni Braxton's "Let It Flow." 151 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:39,689 Am I right, Donna? 152 00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:43,019 (SCREAMING) 153 00:06:43,020 --> 00:06:44,510 You doing okay? You want an epidural? 154 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:47,440 - Last call. - Yeah, yeah. Yes. Make it a double! 155 00:06:49,140 --> 00:06:50,750 - (GROANING) - Uh, Gemma. 156 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:53,150 We agreed that we would do this naturally. 157 00:06:53,170 --> 00:06:55,370 We changed our mind. 158 00:06:55,420 --> 00:06:56,730 (GROANING) 159 00:06:56,780 --> 00:06:59,790 I-I hate to use your words against you, 160 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,530 but you did say, "No matter what, 161 00:07:01,540 --> 00:07:03,120 don't let me get an epidural." 162 00:07:03,170 --> 00:07:05,860 (PANTS) You're right, you're right. 163 00:07:05,910 --> 00:07:08,830 I'm sorry. Come here, honey. 164 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:10,976 (GROWLING): Give me the drugs! I want the drugs right now! 165 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,010 - Do you hear me?! - Get her the drugs! 166 00:07:13,060 --> 00:07:16,010 Get her the drugs! Donna, get her the drugs! 167 00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:17,720 Check this out. You can still see 168 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:19,840 where Gemma dug her nails into my neck. 169 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:23,800 All the pain was worth it 170 00:07:23,820 --> 00:07:26,140 because we got our healthy, happy baby boy. 171 00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:27,730 I hate my life. 172 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,590 Well, he's healthy. 173 00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:36,470 Uh, Trey, you can't go this way. It says "Do not enter." 174 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:38,530 They just say that so you don't enter. 175 00:07:39,410 --> 00:07:41,660 - (THUDS UNDERNEATH) - (ALL EXCLAIM) 176 00:07:42,260 --> 00:07:43,740 Were those traffic cones? 177 00:07:43,790 --> 00:07:45,410 I hope so. 178 00:07:47,820 --> 00:07:48,950 VIP entrance? 179 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,469 Are you sure we're supposed to park here? 180 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,220 Look, I don't care as long as we're close. 181 00:07:52,270 --> 00:07:55,340 These shoes are cute, but they were not made for walking. 182 00:07:55,390 --> 00:07:57,610 DAVE: Uh, excu-excuse me, Trey. 183 00:07:57,660 --> 00:08:01,080 Trey, uh... if you get a parking ticket, 184 00:08:01,130 --> 00:08:03,720 - that's on you, right? - Oh, no, that's totally on you. 185 00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:05,990 - You should have read your contract. - Well... 186 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:08,770 Well, there wasn't a contract. 187 00:08:09,540 --> 00:08:10,690 Damn it. 188 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:13,020 My bad. Sign right here. 189 00:08:13,070 --> 00:08:15,400 - Oh, my God. - You don't have to sign that. 190 00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:19,270 The name of your company is Ride with Your Boy? 191 00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:23,670 (CROWD CHEERING) 192 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:25,680 ? I pull up with the blick, blick ? 193 00:08:25,730 --> 00:08:27,670 ? I pull up, make your clique flip ? 194 00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:29,750 ? I pull off in the whip ? 195 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,490 - ? And I skert ? - Skert! 196 00:08:31,540 --> 00:08:33,040 - (LAUGHS) - ? Skert ? 197 00:08:33,090 --> 00:08:34,380 - ? Skert... ? - Skert! 198 00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:36,650 Hey, man, Lil Side Baby's killing it. 199 00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:39,190 You know, I just googled Lil Side Baby. 200 00:08:39,210 --> 00:08:42,010 And it said he played Stevie on Hannah Montana. 201 00:08:42,060 --> 00:08:45,220 - What? - What? No, that is him. He did. 202 00:08:45,270 --> 00:08:47,430 Yeah. He-he won a Kid's Choice Award for that. 203 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:51,200 That must've been before the face tattoos. 204 00:08:51,250 --> 00:08:53,160 LIL SIDE BABY: Thank you, L.A. Good night. 205 00:08:53,210 --> 00:08:54,230 (ALL CHEERING) 206 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:56,650 - CALVIN: Lil Side Baby! - Yeah! 207 00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:58,570 Yes! Thank God. 208 00:08:58,620 --> 00:09:01,240 - Let's get some Toni! - Whoo! 209 00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:02,690 - Sorry. Excuse me. - Excuse me. 210 00:09:02,740 --> 00:09:04,160 - Excuse me. - CALVIN: Hey. 211 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,530 You guys get your merch? 212 00:09:05,580 --> 00:09:07,890 Yes, we did. Toni Braxton T-shirts. 213 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:10,440 And Dave just had to get a Lil Side Baby cozy. 214 00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:12,080 - Oh, yeah. For my kombucha. - (CHUCKLES) 215 00:09:12,130 --> 00:09:13,460 Everybody loves a cold booch. 216 00:09:13,510 --> 00:09:15,230 Yeah. 217 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:18,360 ANNOUNCER: Who's ready for Toni Braxton? 218 00:09:18,410 --> 00:09:20,300 (WHOOPING, CHEERING) 219 00:09:20,350 --> 00:09:22,260 (MUSIC PLAYING) 220 00:09:22,310 --> 00:09:25,050 - Oh, my God! - I know, it's exciting, right? 221 00:09:25,100 --> 00:09:26,430 No. 222 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:27,760 My water just broke. 223 00:09:27,810 --> 00:09:29,470 Oh, no, you can have mine. Take mine. 224 00:09:30,660 --> 00:09:32,410 No, Marty. 225 00:09:32,460 --> 00:09:34,350 My water just broke. 226 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:35,860 What now? Oh! 227 00:09:35,910 --> 00:09:38,250 - Water broke! Water broke! - What, what, what, what? 228 00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:40,330 Baby, you think she can hold it for one song? 229 00:09:40,370 --> 00:09:42,360 I mean, these tickets were kind of expensive. 230 00:09:42,410 --> 00:09:44,450 Calvin! 231 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:45,959 I mean, you think she could hold it? 232 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,334 - Mama! - (STAMMERS) Okay, come on, come on. 233 00:09:48,335 --> 00:09:50,550 Let's move, people. Move! Out of the way. 234 00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,250 ? I pull up with the blick, blick ? 235 00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:57,790 ? Skert, skert ? 236 00:09:57,848 --> 00:09:59,326 - Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey. - ? Skert. ? 237 00:09:59,350 --> 00:10:01,380 Come on. We got to go. We got to go, man. 238 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:04,190 Oh. That was quick. I'm still charging y'all for four hours. 239 00:10:05,570 --> 00:10:07,660 Come on. Courtney's water just broke. 240 00:10:07,710 --> 00:10:09,390 Aw, hell no. 241 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:10,730 Because y'all family, 242 00:10:10,780 --> 00:10:12,588 I'm gonna give you a discount on the cleaning fee. 243 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,970 - (GRUNTING) - Oh! 244 00:10:15,020 --> 00:10:17,940 - Contraction... - Okay, let's get her to a hospital. 245 00:10:17,993 --> 00:10:20,400 Sorry. We blocked in. See that van right in front of us? 246 00:10:20,450 --> 00:10:22,550 - That's Toni's, and she busy for a while. - Aw... 247 00:10:23,110 --> 00:10:25,320 Oh, Trey, I told you we couldn't park here. 248 00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:26,815 Guys, I'm trying to call the doctor. 249 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:28,410 Does anybody have a signal down here? 250 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,050 - No. - No. 251 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,160 I cannot believe this is happening. 252 00:10:32,210 --> 00:10:34,120 You know what? It-It's going to be fine. 253 00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:38,120 I'm missing Toni Braxton. I mean... can you hear that? 254 00:10:38,170 --> 00:10:41,500 I'm pretty sure that's the bass from "He Wasn't Man Enough." 255 00:10:42,470 --> 00:10:44,050 That's my jam. 256 00:10:45,390 --> 00:10:49,760 Okay. Okay, just calm down. Okay? We have plenty of time. 257 00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:53,180 Yeah, yeah. Marty came early, and it all went smoothly. 258 00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:56,750 You and I have very different definitions of "smoothly." 259 00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:02,770 I cannot believe you are taking me to the hospital in a lowrider. 260 00:11:04,300 --> 00:11:05,580 Look, baby, I couldn't help it. 261 00:11:05,630 --> 00:11:07,610 All right, I'd just finished customizing this car 262 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,103 and I was test-driving it when you beeped me. 263 00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:11,100 (SHOUTING) 264 00:11:11,150 --> 00:11:13,200 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 265 00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:16,830 Uh, Tina, Tina, no shoes on the shag, baby. 266 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:18,330 What? What? 267 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,170 Calvin, I am having a baby! 268 00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:22,670 Okay, but can you hold it till we get to the hospital? 269 00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:24,420 What? 270 00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:25,710 Ask me that one more time. 271 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,810 Ask me that one more time! 272 00:11:27,860 --> 00:11:29,840 (GROANING) 273 00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:33,100 Man, this windshield's all foggy. Hold on. 274 00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:36,310 (BOTH SHOUTING) 275 00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,720 - Okay. - What is happening? 276 00:11:38,770 --> 00:11:40,770 I'm sorry. I hit the switches. 277 00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:43,270 - (CAR HORN HONKS) - MAN: Yo, sweet ride. 278 00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:45,840 (CHUCKLES) Hey, my man, you like what you see, 279 00:11:45,890 --> 00:11:48,450 bring your car to Calvin's Pit Stop. 280 00:11:49,270 --> 00:11:51,660 Calvin! I'm having a baby. 281 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,140 - The baby's got to eat. - Oh, my God! Oh! 282 00:11:54,190 --> 00:11:57,540 Calvin! Calvin, Calvin, I'm feeling a lot of pressure. 283 00:11:57,590 --> 00:11:59,510 Something's happening. Something's happening. 284 00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:01,440 Can-can you look? Can you look? 285 00:12:02,930 --> 00:12:04,930 Oh, look, it's a head. 286 00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:08,090 Oh, God. I'm going down. 287 00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:11,450 - (SHOUTING) - (CAR HORNS HONKING) 288 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,360 Does anyone have a normal birth story? 289 00:12:15,410 --> 00:12:17,940 - 'Cause I'm starting to freak out here. - Okay. 290 00:12:18,730 --> 00:12:21,200 It was no big deal, all right? It was just your head. 291 00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:23,120 The rest of you came out at the hospital. 292 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,980 You know, this is taking forever. 293 00:12:27,030 --> 00:12:29,260 Okay, Dave and Gemma, can you find security 294 00:12:29,310 --> 00:12:30,596 so we could get these vans moved? 295 00:12:30,620 --> 00:12:31,740 - Yeah, on it. - Yeah, on it. 296 00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:33,450 Okay, me and Malcolm will go find an EMT. 297 00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:34,837 I'm sure they're all over the place. 298 00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,600 Okay, right. I'll go get nachos. 299 00:12:37,370 --> 00:12:40,810 No. Trey, you'll go find the drivers for these vans 300 00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:42,071 so that we can get out of here. 301 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,540 Right, 'cause I bet they up there by the nachos. 302 00:12:48,850 --> 00:12:51,460 All right, guys, we got a little bit of time, 303 00:12:51,510 --> 00:12:53,670 so let's just breathe and relax. 304 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:55,330 Everything's gonna be just fine. 305 00:12:55,380 --> 00:12:56,640 Thank you, Mr. B. 306 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:57,810 - (SHOUTS) - (SHOUTS) 307 00:12:57,861 --> 00:12:59,310 All right. 308 00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:02,170 (GROANS) Huge contraction. 309 00:13:02,220 --> 00:13:04,310 It's okay. It's okay. Just breathe through it. 310 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:07,700 Hee-hee-hoo, hee-hee-hoo. Hee-hee-hoo, hee-hee-hoo. 311 00:13:07,750 --> 00:13:10,990 I-I thought you said your contractions were still far apart. 312 00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:13,860 They were, but the baby doesn't give a... 313 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,200 - (SHOUTS) - (SHOUTS) 314 00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:16,700 (SCREAMING) 315 00:13:16,750 --> 00:13:18,950 The baby's coming! The baby's coming right now! 316 00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:20,750 - Help! - Martin, come here. 317 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,160 What are you doing? 318 00:13:22,210 --> 00:13:24,270 Come on, man. You got this. 319 00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:25,580 You know what to do. 320 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:26,740 No. No, I don't. 321 00:13:26,790 --> 00:13:28,710 All they teach you in the class is "hee-hee-hoo." 322 00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:32,800 COURTNEY: Okay, this baby wants out. 323 00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:36,870 Son, listen to me. 324 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:39,250 You got to step up and face your fears, 325 00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:41,100 or you'll regret it forever like I do. 326 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,390 You do? 327 00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:43,910 Of course I do. 328 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:46,600 Your mother really needed me, and I wasn't there for her. 329 00:13:46,650 --> 00:13:49,670 I mean, I was, but I was laid out on the floor 330 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:52,700 or slumped against the car window while she had to steer. 331 00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,160 But you can be better than me. 332 00:13:55,210 --> 00:13:57,480 All right? You can do this. 333 00:13:57,530 --> 00:13:59,160 I know you can. 334 00:13:59,210 --> 00:14:01,620 Isn't someone going to tell me I can do this? 335 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:02,679 - Oh, yeah... - Oh, yeah, 336 00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:03,706 - nobody doubting you, Courtney. - ... you can do this... 337 00:14:03,730 --> 00:14:05,200 - Like, you know you got it. - (SHOUTING) 338 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:06,460 (ALL SHOUTING) 339 00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:08,420 Okay, we're gonna need some towels. 340 00:14:08,470 --> 00:14:09,630 All right. 341 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:13,010 Uh, we got nothing but, uh, $300 worth of Toni Braxton T-shirts. 342 00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:15,510 Okay. Oh, boy. 343 00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:16,760 She is crowning. 344 00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:18,010 CALVIN: Okay. 345 00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:19,390 - Okay. - I'm going down. 346 00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:21,820 Whoa, whoa, whoa... Marty, come on. 347 00:14:21,870 --> 00:14:23,740 Marty, stay with me, okay? 348 00:14:23,790 --> 00:14:25,730 Breathe. Hee-hee-hoo. 349 00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,520 Hee-hee-hoo. 350 00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:30,200 Skert, skert. Yeah. Keep going, y'all. 351 00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:32,830 Okay. All right, you are doing great. 352 00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:34,070 - Let's push. - CALVIN: Okay. 353 00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:36,240 - All right, here. Take my hand. - Okay, okay. 354 00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:37,326 - Okay, just hold my hand. - Okay, okay. 355 00:14:37,350 --> 00:14:38,540 Here we go. 356 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:40,550 (SHOUTS) 357 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:42,990 Ooh! That's my ring finger. 358 00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:45,710 (COURTNEY SHOUTING) 359 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,220 I'm, like, starving. 360 00:14:47,270 --> 00:14:50,210 Lil Side Baby ate up everything in the greenroom. Who does that? 361 00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:55,340 Oh, my God. Toni Braxton! 362 00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:59,890 (SCREAMING) 363 00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:02,740 This is not my Sprinter. 364 00:15:02,790 --> 00:15:06,020 And is that woman having a baby? 365 00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:09,310 Okay, okay, okay. See, what had happened was, 366 00:15:09,330 --> 00:15:11,190 is that our driver ran over some cones, 367 00:15:11,210 --> 00:15:12,696 and we came in to the artists' entrance, 368 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:14,300 my wife had on these designer shoes, 369 00:15:14,350 --> 00:15:15,426 because she couldn't really walk in them. 370 00:15:15,450 --> 00:15:17,950 You know, you can't really walk in them. 371 00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:20,280 Anyway, we said, "Whoa, let's just go in this way." 372 00:15:20,330 --> 00:15:22,830 And-and, yes, this lady is having a baby. 373 00:15:22,881 --> 00:15:24,040 (SHOUTS) 374 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:26,960 Boris, can you... can you help get these vans out of here? 375 00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:29,870 MARTY: Oh, my God! (SHOUTS) 376 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:32,590 We have a head, people! We have a head! 377 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:33,750 You know what? 378 00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:35,200 - Uh-uh. Let's do this. - Okay. 379 00:15:35,250 --> 00:15:37,220 All right, what's your name, Mama? 380 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,360 Toni Braxton! 381 00:15:39,810 --> 00:15:42,660 No, no, Mama. Not my name. Your name. 382 00:15:42,710 --> 00:15:45,670 Her name is Courtney, and we are huge fans, by the way. 383 00:15:45,700 --> 00:15:48,940 - I mean, huge. - I-I appreciate that. 384 00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:51,940 Now, you got to push, Courtney. All right? 385 00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:54,520 - Daddy, you ready to receive? - Yes, Toni Braxton. 386 00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:57,900 On three. One, two, three. Push! 387 00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:00,360 (SHOUTS) 388 00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:02,900 Oh! I ain't gonna be able to hold my grandbaby. 389 00:16:04,750 --> 00:16:06,640 - Okay, guys, we found some help. - (DAPHNE CRYING) 390 00:16:06,660 --> 00:16:09,100 Oh... my God, it's a baby. 391 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:11,750 It is, Mommy. 392 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:14,580 - It is. - She's beautiful. 393 00:16:14,630 --> 00:16:15,960 Let's wrap her up. 394 00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:17,840 Oh, good, good. Yeah, here we go. 395 00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,850 Oh, in one of my T-shirts. 396 00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:22,640 Okay, I love it. 397 00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,340 My fans are getting younger and younger. 398 00:16:25,850 --> 00:16:29,160 Oh, my little Daphne. 399 00:16:29,810 --> 00:16:31,600 I take it you must be the grandma? 400 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,100 Yeah. 401 00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:34,290 Oh, damn. 402 00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:37,860 You're Toni Braxton. 403 00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:39,570 Th-This is Toni Braxton. 404 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:41,700 Hi, Toni Braxton. 405 00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:43,800 - Hi, Grandma. - (LAUGHS) 406 00:16:43,850 --> 00:16:46,030 Courtney, it's all over. 407 00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:47,450 Now you can breathe again. 408 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:51,370 (LAUGHS) Breathe again. I see what you did right there. 409 00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:53,730 I can't believe Toni Braxton delivered my baby. 410 00:16:54,510 --> 00:16:56,360 Um, hello? 411 00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:59,550 You did a great job, Daddy. 412 00:17:00,530 --> 00:17:02,020 Hey, congratulations, baby brother. 413 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,900 That's beautiful. 414 00:17:04,610 --> 00:17:06,320 How you doing, Toni Braxton? 415 00:17:08,170 --> 00:17:10,040 My name is Malcolm. I'm the uncle. 416 00:17:10,090 --> 00:17:11,620 Division one baseball coach, 417 00:17:11,670 --> 00:17:13,260 and, uh... (CLEARS THROAT) 418 00:17:13,310 --> 00:17:14,810 ... single. 419 00:17:17,610 --> 00:17:19,230 That's cute. 420 00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:21,360 Anyway, it was nice meeting all of you guys, 421 00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:23,170 and congratulations. 422 00:17:24,750 --> 00:17:26,100 Oh, my God. 423 00:17:26,150 --> 00:17:29,700 You look fabulous, Toni. She looks great. 424 00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:31,040 Hey, Malcolm. 425 00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:32,710 - Yeah. - Proud of you, boy. 426 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,460 Thank you, Pop. 427 00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:36,840 You took your shot at Toni Braxton. 428 00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,710 - And you missed. - I missed. 429 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:40,610 - But-but you shot. - Yeah. 430 00:17:44,060 --> 00:17:45,860 Oh, my God. 431 00:17:45,910 --> 00:17:47,490 She is so beautiful. 432 00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:53,730 I could hold her forever. 433 00:17:53,780 --> 00:17:55,560 You have been. 434 00:17:56,670 --> 00:17:59,400 - Yeah, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme. - TINA: Okay, okay. 435 00:17:59,450 --> 00:18:01,440 (GEMMA SPEAKING BABY TALK) 436 00:18:01,490 --> 00:18:03,360 Look at that little baby. 437 00:18:03,410 --> 00:18:04,990 MARTY: Uh, look, guys? 438 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,700 Guys, guys. 439 00:18:06,750 --> 00:18:09,080 Full words, please. 440 00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:11,870 We've made the choice not to use baby talk. 441 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,370 To talk to a baby? 442 00:18:14,890 --> 00:18:18,250 Well, studies show that it can delay a child's language skills. 443 00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:20,860 (SCOFFS) Yeah, y'all gonna be fun parents. 444 00:18:22,150 --> 00:18:25,520 So, the doctor says that you can go home tomorrow. 445 00:18:25,570 --> 00:18:27,380 - Are you ready? - I'm so ready. 446 00:18:27,430 --> 00:18:28,680 Mmm. 447 00:18:28,730 --> 00:18:30,090 - Oh, crap. - What? 448 00:18:30,140 --> 00:18:31,260 The crib isn't built. 449 00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:33,330 - Wait, it's not? - No, my dad wanted to do it, 450 00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:35,400 but my parents can't get here till Wednesday. 451 00:18:35,450 --> 00:18:37,020 I guess I can just use the bassinet. 452 00:18:37,075 --> 00:18:39,170 Oh, no, no, no. It's not about the bassinet. 453 00:18:39,220 --> 00:18:40,540 You can't be with the baby alone. 454 00:18:40,580 --> 00:18:41,780 Marty, you got to go with her. 455 00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:44,280 In my tiny studio? Where would he even sleep? 456 00:18:44,330 --> 00:18:46,280 It's not a problem. You can stay at our place. 457 00:18:46,330 --> 00:18:49,120 We can get the crib from Mom's house and put it in the spare room. 458 00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:50,280 Spare room? 459 00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:51,900 You mean my exercise room? 460 00:18:51,950 --> 00:18:53,540 Where's all my gym equipment gonna go? 461 00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:55,240 Malcolm. 462 00:18:55,290 --> 00:18:58,080 Malcolm, look, the plan was always to turn the spare room 463 00:18:58,130 --> 00:18:59,429 into Daphne's room at some point. 464 00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:01,050 I ain't never heard this plan. 465 00:19:02,710 --> 00:19:03,960 I see now the plan was flawed. 466 00:19:05,790 --> 00:19:07,930 Well, look, man, what do you expect me to do? 467 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,260 You know, I have half a baby. 468 00:19:09,310 --> 00:19:10,880 I hate to sound ungrateful, 469 00:19:10,930 --> 00:19:13,810 but is the spare room even big enough for a crib and a bed? 470 00:19:13,860 --> 00:19:15,680 You can sleep in Marty's room. 471 00:19:15,730 --> 00:19:17,073 We are not a couple, man. 472 00:19:17,074 --> 00:19:19,110 - Oh, please. - Okay, okay. 473 00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:21,540 Look, Courtney can go in Malcolm's room, 474 00:19:21,590 --> 00:19:23,730 Malcolm can come stay with us. 475 00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:25,900 Where? In my shoe room? 476 00:19:27,330 --> 00:19:29,780 Look, it's just until Courtney's parents get here. 477 00:19:29,830 --> 00:19:31,166 Yeah, but then they're going to leave, 478 00:19:31,190 --> 00:19:32,730 and you'll be two people in two houses 479 00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:34,660 with one baby and no clue. 480 00:19:36,270 --> 00:19:37,750 So, y'all rocket scientists. 481 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,290 Have you been huffing the fumes? 482 00:19:40,210 --> 00:19:43,000 Daddy, I thought we had three more weeks. 483 00:19:43,050 --> 00:19:44,630 - (DAPHNE CRYING) - Aw... 484 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,300 Y'all made my baby cry. 485 00:19:47,350 --> 00:19:49,520 Come on. Give her to me. 486 00:19:49,570 --> 00:19:50,820 Okay. Here. 487 00:19:50,870 --> 00:19:52,600 - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - Look at her. 488 00:19:54,150 --> 00:19:55,980 Aw... 489 00:19:56,030 --> 00:19:57,760 Look at her. 490 00:19:57,810 --> 00:19:59,990 - How are you doing? - (DAPHNE QUIETS) 491 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:01,730 Yes. 492 00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:05,820 Still got it. 493 00:20:05,870 --> 00:20:08,930 Okay, you have got to teach me that, Dad. 494 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,710 Well, don't worry. 495 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:15,000 No one's ever really ready. 496 00:20:15,050 --> 00:20:16,860 We'll all figure this out. 497 00:20:16,910 --> 00:20:18,330 It takes a village. 498 00:20:18,380 --> 00:20:20,120 Hmm. 499 00:20:20,170 --> 00:20:21,930 Hey, guys, I-I'm so sorry. 500 00:20:21,980 --> 00:20:23,880 Have we discussed godparents yet? 501 00:20:24,850 --> 00:20:28,150 I mean, no-no pressure, but, you know, I did miss the concert 502 00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:29,850 and paid for the van that she was born in, 503 00:20:29,900 --> 00:20:32,950 not to mention the very expensive concert T-shirts, 504 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,970 which, by the way, are a total loss. 505 00:20:35,020 --> 00:20:36,640 But, um... 506 00:20:36,690 --> 00:20:39,450 You hear that voice? That annoying voice? 507 00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:41,280 That's your Uncle Dave. 508 00:20:41,330 --> 00:20:42,780 Get used to it. 509 00:20:42,830 --> 00:20:44,150 It never stops. 510 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:48,750 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36885

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