All language subtitles for Queenie s01e04 The Nightmare Before Christmas.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranรฎ)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal) Download
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:06,480 Grandma, Grandma, this might be the best turkey I've ever tasted. 2 00:00:06,520 --> 00:00:10,640 You have truly outdone yourself, Mother. Cheers! 3 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:13,640 Cheers. Cheers. I try, I try. Woo! Anything for my babies. 4 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,720 Ah, my woman, dat. You know? 5 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:17,680 Ooh, Wilfred! Not in front of the children. 6 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:21,120 Perhaps I can show you all a little TikTok dance 7 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:22,840 I've been working on after dinner? 8 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:25,000 Yeah. Of course. Yes, Diana. Show 'em the moves! 100%. 9 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:27,360 Wonderful, wonderful. I'll pop a song on, shall I? Yeah! 10 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:28,960 Yes? OK. 11 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,640 Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Look at you now. Me can do the ClipClop, you know? 12 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:33,200 You can? No, TikTok. Tik. 13 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:35,600 No, Clip, ClipClop. Clip... TikTok? Yeah, Clip. TikTok! 14 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:37,800 THEY LAUGH AND BANTER 15 00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:45,440 RECORD CRACKLES 16 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:55,280 DOORBELL RINGS 17 00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:58,720 Why don't you get the door, Queenie? 18 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,920 Who is it? It's your mother. 19 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:08,520 What's the matter? Open the door, Queenie. 20 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:22,720 SILENT SCREAM 21 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:27,720 Again? 22 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:43,000 Just got to get through Christmas. 23 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:56,200 VOICEOVER: Another year, another Hanukkah. 24 00:01:56,240 --> 00:02:00,080 How is everyone always so happy this time of year? 25 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,000 I need to cheer up. Where's Cassandra's dad when you need him? 26 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:03,440 Oh. Right. 27 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:05,000 You deserve a treat. 28 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:07,240 How is he always so nice? 29 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:09,920 I made these myself. 30 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:13,240 And how is his cooking so terrible? 31 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:16,280 Right. OK, I'll... Well, I'll stick to psychiatry. 32 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:20,680 Mm. Yeah. So, how are things? Still no word from Tom? 33 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:23,240 Three months of space and no contact. 34 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:26,840 It took me a while to wrap my head around it, but... 35 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:27,880 ..it's done. 36 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:31,640 And... Go on. 37 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:36,720 Sometimes, like, like tonight, I feel OK. 38 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:39,680 I'm busy, and I'm social. 39 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:42,240 But other times, like when I get in on my own, 40 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:45,120 everything's just, it's so overwhelming. 41 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:48,280 Queenie, look. 42 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:51,320 Your mid-twenties are rough. 43 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:54,680 It's when Cassandra's mother left and everything just fell apart. 44 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:56,400 So you've got to try and... 45 00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:58,960 You've got to try and sort of enjoy the journey. 46 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,960 Yeah, and crucially, never forget, 47 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,240 the most important relationship you'll ever have 48 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:06,600 is the one you have with yourself. 49 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:10,920 You know? 50 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:12,160 Yeah. 51 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:13,200 SMOKE ALARM BEEPS 52 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:14,240 Shit, something's burning. 53 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:20,320 Who's Cassandra on the phone to? 54 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,560 Is everything OK? He's not answering his phone. 55 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:28,160 Well, he's probably stuck at work. 56 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:31,440 Shall we grab some latkes and judge your neighbours like always? 57 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:33,480 What do you think of this dress? 58 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:38,440 Mm. Er, it's not your best dress... He bought it. 59 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:42,080 It's your baddest dress, cos you are a bad bitch. 60 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:43,600 Mm, stop it. It's terrible. 61 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,760 It was a gift to mark our one-month anniversary. 62 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,200 He said no words can describe how being with me feels, 63 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,320 as the dress speaks for itself. 64 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,920 Hmm. 65 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:54,160 Should I be concerned? 66 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:57,040 Well, just... Have you had sex yet? 67 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:05,600 No, we have not had sex yet. What? 68 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:07,160 That's not to say we haven't done other things. 69 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:10,880 What things, like you've dry-humped? Queenie! 70 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:12,320 PHONE BUZZES 71 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,960 No, I can't fucking believe this. He's bailed. 72 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:19,800 Well, you... But look, there's no rush to show him off, 73 00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:22,040 just like there's no rush to have sex. 74 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:24,960 I actually love how slow we're taking it, actually. It feels right. 75 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,560 It's, it's like you tell me from time to time, 76 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,680 you don't need a man to complete you. 77 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,480 Why does this feel so familiar? 78 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:36,400 Summer, in between first and second year at uni, we sat right here 79 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:38,160 but you were crying over a different boy. 80 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,160 Adidas Andrew? 81 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,400 Oh. How could I forget? 82 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:45,000 Oh, my gosh, that guy could wear a tracksuit. 83 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:46,360 Adidas Andrew and his allergies. 84 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:50,240 No, they weren't allergies, I don't think. What? 85 00:04:50,280 --> 00:04:53,400 Come on. It wasn't pollen he was sniffing. 86 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:55,400 What? 87 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:57,200 It's all right. 88 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:01,240 Don't worry about me. 89 00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:02,480 My Guy will show eventually. 90 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,640 What about you, my darling? 91 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:08,480 In my albeit fledgling psychological diagnosis, 92 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:10,920 this Tom situation must remind you of your mum. 93 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:12,560 Abandonment issues much? 94 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:15,000 VOICEOVER: Always good to be reminded. 95 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:18,080 KNOCKING AT DOOR 96 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:20,760 KNOCKING BECOMES THUMPING 97 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:23,560 ON LAPTOP: You're not a time traveller, and neither am I. 98 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:24,920 If Rupert offers me eggnog one more time... 99 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:26,800 That's not the life I want. I thought you'd know this by... 100 00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:28,440 RAPID KNOCKING AT DOOR 101 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:34,080 Fancy a festive fuck? What are you doing here? 102 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:38,760 Well, your weird housemate let me in. I am rock hard and ready. 103 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,400 I've just about recovered from last time. 104 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,960 You know, you should have messaged, because I'm a bit busy, actually. 105 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,000 Doing what? 106 00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:48,640 Stuff. 107 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:52,040 Well, I can think of something you should be doing. 108 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:58,320 What? Come on, Queenie, I've just, I've just come all this way. 109 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:03,480 Look, I have really, really missed you. 110 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:05,560 I'll even stay. 111 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:08,680 OK, um... 112 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:12,520 ..could you just be a bit more gentle this time? 113 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:14,760 What, like, like this? 114 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:21,800 VOICEOVER: OK, maybe he just needs to be told what to do. 115 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:23,160 Yeah. 116 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,440 Well, I hope you've shaved your legs this time. 117 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:27,240 Spoke too soon. 118 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:30,960 Climb on. 119 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:34,000 DOORBELL RINGS 120 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:42,560 Frank. Yo, Big Q, what you telling me? 121 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:44,320 Er, what's up? 122 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:47,600 Hi. Yeah, uh, sorry, I was just on my way to a job 123 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:52,160 and you were en route, so... So, er, yeah, this pen. 124 00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:55,640 You left it in my van from when I helped you move. 125 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:58,360 I just thought I'd, er, return it. Er... 126 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:02,440 Yeah, I don't use green pens and that, so, er, couldn't teef it. 127 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:03,880 VOICEOVER: What's going on here? 128 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:05,560 Thanks, Frank. 129 00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:13,120 Look. Kyazike was saying Christmas might be a lot for you this year. 130 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:17,320 If only they knew. First one back home in a while and that, so... 131 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:20,800 Look, just bell me, innit? If it gets too much. 132 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:23,640 There'll be room at ours. 133 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,880 That's, um... 134 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:31,640 Thanks, Frank. 135 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:33,680 Right, so, er, yeah. 136 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,040 Don't let me find that pen in my van again, 137 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:40,640 or I might have to give it back to you. 138 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:43,280 In a bit, yeah? 139 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:48,600 What was that all about? 140 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:53,160 Friends, it's good to welcome you on this Christmas night, 141 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:57,760 when we share our precious memories of God's work for us. 142 00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:59,080 Angels came down... 143 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:02,720 You trying to kill me, woman? How much perfume you need? 144 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:05,760 Wilfred, don't budda start on me tonight. 145 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,960 Right before Jesus' birthday? 146 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:11,920 They tell Mary and Joseph 147 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:14,520 and the others gathered there 148 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,360 the wonderful message that has come from God. 149 00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:21,440 Will you two stop texting? 150 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:25,480 I got one eye on you and one eye on God. 151 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:31,880 Let us pray to God for the coming of the kingdom as Jesus taught us. 152 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:33,760 Our father who art in Heaven... 153 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:36,760 VOICEOVER: Dear Lord. Hello. Long time, no speak. 154 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:41,600 It's been a busy and eventful time, as you've probably seen. Sorry. 155 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:44,600 If you forgive me my sins, 156 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:46,240 how do you feel about sending me a sign? 157 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:49,360 My friends are great. My family are... 158 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:52,920 Well, they're my family and they're here, 159 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:55,120 but I still feel so lonely all the time. 160 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,760 Like, to the point where I keep having sex - 161 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,000 sorry again - with guys I don't really care about, 162 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,280 just to feel something. 163 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:05,840 But is it actually me, Lord? Do I push everyone away? 164 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,480 Am I just gonna end up sad and alone like my m... Queenie. 165 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:10,720 Your mum's here. 166 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,040 What is she doing here? 167 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:38,040 Hi, Queenie. 168 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:45,680 That's the last time I'm praying to anyone. 169 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:56,440 One, and I ahead! Ah! 170 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:59,160 I never should have taught you my tricks. 171 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:02,400 Look, Veronica. She mashing me up. 172 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:04,080 That's my pickney. 173 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:07,680 And that's another round of dominoes with Diana. 174 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:11,520 Diana, make yourself useful and hang up the new curtain. 175 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:17,000 Hmm? You see that thing in your hand? 176 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:21,920 Go upon Google and type in "How to make yourself useful in the house." 177 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,880 LAUGHTER 178 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:32,720 DRAMA PLAYS ON LAPTOP 179 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:34,240 VOICEOVER: It's like they're laughing 180 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:35,640 even louder than usual just to wind me up. 181 00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:37,160 TEXT ALERT 182 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:42,760 KNOCK AT DOOR 183 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:52,960 Just... Just checking in, see how you are. 184 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:59,000 There's ackee and saltfish for you when you're ready. 185 00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:01,160 I'm not hungry. 186 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:10,640 How's the writing going? It's all good, Sylvie. 187 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:13,760 OK. 188 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,480 Well, I'm here, 189 00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:17,640 if you ever... 190 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:24,880 I'm your mother, and I care about you. 191 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:27,680 Mother is an action. 192 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:34,160 SHE WHISPERS: OK. 193 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:48,520 I don't know what to say to her, Maggie. 194 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,720 It's her first Christmas without the boyfriend. 195 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:55,000 Maybe ask her about that? 196 00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:00,000 I'm not sure it's a good idea for you to ask her 197 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:01,720 to support you in court yet, sis. 198 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:03,560 No... No, I'm not gonna do that. 199 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:06,720 No, she's been through enough. 200 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,960 Don't want her reliving it. 201 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:12,640 Dealing with him is killing me. I don't want that for her. 202 00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:16,720 But you don't have to do it on your own. 203 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:20,200 I want to show her that I can... I can fix things. 204 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,960 None of this has been your fault, Sylvie. 205 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:26,240 Roy was a master manipulator. 206 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,920 Duppy know who fi frighten. 207 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:30,440 I just... 208 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:35,280 I don't want Queenie to end up like me. 209 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:38,200 Oh, Sylv. 210 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:41,280 Queenie is a brave girl. 211 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:43,920 She'll be all right. 212 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:48,160 Being brave isn't the same thing as being all right. 213 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:52,120 Let us pray. 214 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:59,080 Mm. Dear Lord, bless this house and those in it. 215 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:01,920 Bless us, Lord. Bless the food and the hands that did prepare it. 216 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:03,480 My hands, Lord. 217 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:07,920 We thank you for bringing us together once more 218 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,000 to celebrate your birthday. 219 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,400 Even Sylvie with her mawga self. 220 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:17,240 Bless our family back home. We hope to see them soon. 221 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:18,800 Bless the church, 222 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:22,720 apart from Brother Michael and him big Mercedes. 223 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:26,200 Bless the street and all those who reside here, 224 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,400 but the devil have Albert at number 24 225 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:33,160 with him bad, awful pickney. Or the girl... OK! 226 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:36,000 Amen. 227 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,040 Amen. 228 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:48,280 MUSIC: She's Royal by Tarrus Riley 229 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:50,040 Woo-wee! 230 00:13:52,680 --> 00:13:56,880 No, I never been someone shy 231 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,240 Until I seen your eyes... 232 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,000 Oh, Maggie, not now. 233 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,560 Still I had to try, yeah 234 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:07,200 Oh, yes, let me get my words right and then approach you... 235 00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:09,280 Uh, no, no, no. 236 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:11,560 Woman, I'll treat you like a man is supposed to 237 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:16,120 You'll never have to cry, no 238 00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:18,680 I know everyone can relate 239 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:22,080 And when they find that special someone 240 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:25,320 And she's royal... 241 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:28,840 Come join us. Queenie. Queenie! 242 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:32,360 I want her in my life 243 00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:35,800 I never knew anyone 244 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:39,080 So one of a kind, no... 245 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,960 What's the matter, Queenie? 246 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,880 I'm fine. I just, um, I just need some water. 247 00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:46,720 She has the qualities of a queen... 248 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:50,560 Queenie? Queenie? 249 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,360 Where on earth are you going? 250 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,520 Work emergency. I got to go. Just tell everyone I said bye, OK? 251 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:08,240 VOICEOVER: "Come and join us, Queenie," says the great abandoner. 252 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,640 "Being brave isn't the same thing as being all right." 253 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:18,440 No, it isn't, Sylvie, but you wouldn't know that 254 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:19,760 because you've never been brave, have you? 255 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,160 Merry Christmas, you. 256 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,720 Ted, you scared me. 257 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:24,920 How comes you're here? 258 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:26,960 Oh, er, Gina called me in. 259 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,200 She thought the socials had been hacked, 260 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:32,440 but really, it turns out that I was just pocket-tweeting. Ah. Yeah. You? 261 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:34,520 I'm, er, I'm covering the Christmas sport. 262 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:36,360 Yeah, someone's got to do it, 263 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:40,520 and, you know, good excuse to leave the dinner table, so... 264 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,480 You have a nice Christmas? 265 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:45,840 Does anybody actually have a nice Christmas? Yeah. Yeah. 266 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:48,640 Yeah, funny time of year, right? It is what it is. 267 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:52,160 Well, I'd rather be looking at you 268 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:53,960 than watching my dad burn the sprouts, so... 269 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,080 Well, watch me long enough 270 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,880 and I'm sure I'll figure out a way to set fire to something somehow. 271 00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:00,720 Wow. How hot do you think you are? 272 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:04,880 Yeah, you, er, you want to see what I got for Christmas? 273 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:05,920 Yeah. 274 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,960 Oh, my God. 275 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,560 This is just what I've been waiting for. 276 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:13,360 Well, as long as I'm not carrying you home again. 277 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:16,400 Yeah, well, you loved it. Yeah? Yeah. 278 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:25,000 Meet me by the sofas in T-minus five minutes. 279 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:27,840 Oh, it's, it's gonna take me at least T-minus ten 280 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:29,400 to sort this out, so... 281 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:31,160 Fine. 282 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,800 You're worth the wait. 283 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:35,080 Was that a vibe? 284 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:38,960 Or am I so starved of actual nice, normal male attention 285 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,840 that I've dreamt a vibe up? 286 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:44,440 Hey, what do you reckon? Should we get Jean over here? 287 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:46,240 No. Oh, come on. I want to hear about her cats. Stop. 288 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:49,640 I'm gonna call her. Ted, stop. Oi, Je... Stop...Stop it. 289 00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:52,840 What? Stop. Come on. Leave her alone. 290 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:55,440 What do you think? 291 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:57,320 Do you know what I was gonna say? What was you gonna say? 292 00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:59,080 Yeah, I was gonna say... What was you gonna say? 293 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:01,040 I was gonna say it suits you. Thank you. 294 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:02,600 Almost as good as it looks on me. Almost. 295 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:04,600 No, it does look good on you, but I have a question. 296 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,400 Yeah, go for it. Fire. 297 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:09,040 Do you own anything else? All I ever see you wear is tweed. 298 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:10,600 Well, it makes mornings easier, doesn't it? 299 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,680 Your tracksuits and... Mm, yes, I own lots of other... 300 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:16,200 Mm! Oh, shit. It's all right. I'll get it. Here. Mm-mm. 301 00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:19,320 Watch the jacket. My fault. Oh. No, it's all good. No, no, it's... 302 00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:40,160 Sorry, uh... Um, it's probably a bad idea. Sorry. 303 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,560 No, no, I'm sorry. Um... 304 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,560 No, it's. I should just... Uh, yeah, OK. 305 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,720 I should... Yeah. Yeah, no. 306 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:51,240 I'm gonna... I'll be back. OK? OK. 307 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:52,400 Yeah. 308 00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:02,480 VOICEOVER: What are you doing? What are you doing? 309 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:05,200 Right, you need to go home. Ted is a colleague. 310 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:08,680 Ted is a friend. Look at me. Eyes up here, Queenie. 311 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:12,200 We do not fuck our friends. 312 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:20,680 Or maybe...we do? 313 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,600 HAND-DRYER SWITCHES ON 314 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:34,800 Oh, I'm so happy I'm finally getting to see these. 315 00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:36,400 Oh, yeah? Hold on, let me just... 316 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,720 No, no, I'll keep it on. Mm. 317 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:42,720 VOICEOVER: Why's he doing that? Do I stare back? 318 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:49,480 THUD 319 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,280 VOICEOVER: Whoa. Like a cucumber. 320 00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:06,680 MOANING FROM TOILET 321 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,040 HAND-DRYER WHIRS 322 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,840 SHE TYPES 323 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,120 HE GROANS LOUDLY 324 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:19,200 Sorry, I, I couldn't help it. I just... 325 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:22,800 I don't think you really know how sexy you are. 326 00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:26,280 VOICEOVER: Ooh. If I had a penny, or an orgasm, 327 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:27,840 for every time a man said that to me, 328 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:30,200 I would be very rich and very happy. 329 00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:35,280 I should, um... 330 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,920 I should probably go before anybody comes. 331 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:39,440 The only one who came was you. 332 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:41,400 HE LAUGHS 333 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:47,240 Yeah, fair. I'll, er, I'll make it up to you next time. 334 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:48,800 Yeah? 335 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:52,000 Er... 336 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:56,840 Sorry, I just, um... I just need to get my jacket. 337 00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:58,640 Yeah. Thanks. 338 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:04,760 All right. Um... Yeah. OK. 339 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:09,280 That's probably not the best idea I've had. Or the best sex. 340 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:16,840 Am I so lacking in attention that toilets are OK now? 341 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:20,760 Wait till I tell Darcy Ted is packing, though. 342 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,560 TEXT ALERT 343 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,640 Wait, what? 344 00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:32,800 Was this supposed to be for me? 345 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,960 What should I say back? 346 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,120 This is one for The Corgis, because... 347 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:39,680 ..I'm spun. 348 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,240 Ah, it's a Christmas miracle. 349 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:56,760 What do you think of them? 350 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:01,240 Aren't they a bit young for me? 351 00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:03,040 Not at all. 352 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:04,800 PHONE BUZZES 353 00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:09,280 What? 354 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:14,920 Hmm. Think they'll get back together? 355 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:17,560 I don't know how good that would be. 356 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:19,840 For either of them. 357 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,520 Why would he send her that? 358 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,600 Exes always wanna try a ting at Christmas. 359 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:40,160 I bet he wants her back. 360 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:41,800 Yeah, probably. 361 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,240 You think she'll go back? 362 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:48,480 I hope not, but you never know with Queenie, you know. 363 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:52,560 She deserves better, man. 364 00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,320 PHONE BUZZES 365 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:04,200 VOICE NOTE: I think you need to process his first contact in a while 366 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,640 before you respond. Just take a minute 367 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:08,840 to observe how it's made you feel. 368 00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:11,720 By the way, thank you so much for supporting me at my dad's party. 369 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:13,920 I don't say this often, but I should. 370 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:15,960 You're a great friend, Queenie. 371 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,440 Your turn, hon. 372 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,440 I told you he was clever. 373 00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:41,920 LAUGHTER 374 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:46,600 Fantastic. 45 points. Good comeback, Guy. 375 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,160 Oh, you know me, always full of surprises. 376 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:22,520 Subtitles by Red Bee Media 377 00:23:22,570 --> 00:23:27,120 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 28193

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.