All language subtitles for Lignes De Fuite Retail

We're back!

Staying cool in this historic heat wave.

We're live from the library,

celebrating the Festival of Literature.

We're joined by Valérie Hamelin.

- Hello.
- Hi, Stéphane.

What's on your mind today?

I wanted to discuss solidarity.

It came up on last week's show.

At the start of the pandemic,

we hoped people would come together.

We hoped for a better world.

It was a chance at global solidarity 2.0.

But no.

We're more divided than ever.

We only have compassion for people like us.

That's depressing.

But I'm not binge-watching Netflix in PJs

'cause I found something that made me smile

and gave me hope.

Thank God, because it's Friday.

Let's not depress our listeners.

Don't worry.

I won't spoil your happy hour.

What I found is a model

for openness and generosity

that should inspire us all.

A mammal that puts us to shame
with its kindness,

our nation's proud emblem, the beaver.

- The beaver?
- I'm serious.

I know what you're thinking.

The beaver is a facilitator species.

If we remember ecology 101,

their contribution to nature

benefits us all,

while us humans are the opposite.

We have our culprit.

Our friend on the nickel,

as soon as his damn leaks,

he fixes it,

because he maintains his infrastructures.

We built a second Champlain bridge,

but can't fill our potholes.

That's not all.

This next fact will make you cry.

In the winter,

his lodge becomes a social housing complex,

welcoming muskrats, amphibians, fish.

They're strangers,

but he opens his door to them.

It's Christmas, and everyone's invited.

When did you last feed someone in need?

Do my kids count?

Your kids don't count.

Solidarity is at an all-time low.

Families don't talk anymore.

We're isolated, convinced we're right.

We hate those that don't think like us

to the point of making death treats online,

which only gets us more "likes."

The beaver doesn't care about "likes".

The more he collaborates,

the better his ecosystem.

So I'd ask everyone to be like the beaver

and rediscover a sense of community.

Enough with the hatred.

Let's censor ourselves for the common good.

Careful, censorship is dangerous.

What about freedom of speech?

I think, and I'm not alone,

that we live in a culture of fear.

We can't say anything anymore.

A culture of fear…

Everyone take cover!

I'm not inventing this.

It's a real epidemic.

I'm curious.

What do you want to say

that you can't say?

Give us a example.

Listen…

One sentence, simple as that.

That's my point exactly.

I have to censor myself.

Thank God we censor ourselves.

I self-censor every day.

Yeah? What are you holding back?

One word. I'm curious.

Please, we're listening.

I'd never say "OK, boomer," to you
on the air.

I wouldn't want to offend you.

Thank you, Valérie.

We'll be back after the break.

Boomer…

Congrats, Sabina!

Good job on the contract.

You're on fire!

Mom, I'm in a rush.

Love you. I'll call you.

LINES OF ESCAPE

INHALE… EXHALE…

Close your eyes and focus on 4 sounds.

Babe?

Audrey?

We got our new fly kit.

I'm doing my 5-4-3-2-1, sweetie.

Inhale deeply through your nose.

Exhale through your mouth.

Stop.

I feel so blah.

I'm all bloated.

You're full of farts.

Yeah.

Turn your attention inward.

Pedal out those emotions.

What if I fart for real?

You won't be laughing then.

My buddies.

What's up?

Focus on your sense of smell…

and notice 2 odors.

That's just…

Yeah.

Sorry, just a little.

Hello!

Finally, focus on your sense of taste.

What do you taste?

Salt and vinegar chips.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

You are now re-attuned with your senses.

It's not gonna work.

Sorry.

You stressed about your friends?

My mind is elsewhere.

There's construction on the highway.

I don't want to hit traffic.

There's orange cones.

It's always jammed by the IKEA.

We should go.

OK, captain.

All right.

Montreal is 3 hours away.

We gotta hurry.

Wear something nice.

Sab takes us to nice places.

I have time for a shower?

We finished setting up the exhibit.

Perfect. Did you get the canapés?

They arrived 2 hours ago.

Did you talk to Max about the bottles?

He's sorting out a few details first.

He said he was on his way.

People are arriving.

Unbelievable!

Everything is perfect.

I know your friends stress you out…

Cerila is here with Frida.

They accepted the offer.

I'm really happy.

We'll talk later, honey.

Kisses!

She needs to pee.

I'll get her pee pad.

Good idea.

We got the air purifier.

Tapas are in the fridge.

I put out fresh flowers.

It's gonna be great.

Your friends will love it here.

You're the best.

Your money is on the counter.

I can't.

Enjoy your night, sweetie.

You deserve it.

You like it?

Yeah.

It's not…

It's not too much?

That's a tough question.

It's all about context.

I don't know what environment

the dress will evolve in tonight.

One thing's for certain,

and this might not help,

I'll say…

you look beautiful.

Thank you.

I don't want to transcend my social class.

Sabina got offended when I said that.

Yes, your fight.

It was an argument.

I don't want to look poor.

Impossible.

Your demeanor is imperial.

You're an idiot.

It'll have to do.

See you later?

Yes.

Get the wine…

It needs to chill.

Don't use that tone with me.

With what I'm paying you…

Mom, I'm talking to Jo.

Go left.

The GPS is messed up.

It's here.

Perfect.

The drive went well.

- I'll park.
- Thanks, sweetie.

Yes, I'm nervous.

It's been so long.

You're right.

I gotta go.

Love you, Mom.

No gay jokes.

Hello, Montreal.

Are there any homosexuals in the house?

There are people here.

Idiot.

Hey, I know you.

Hi, Jo.

Val! How are you?

My baby.

So good to see you.

You look gorgeous.

Thrift store. One strap.

- Love it.
- You look great.

I'm fat. My double chin is like a slinky.

You're crazy.

Montreal isn't ready
for 3 country girls on fire.

Shots!

Oh God.

That was strong.

Girls, we have to do this more often.

It's crazy.

It's been too long.

Val, can we please talk about your show?

I was freaking out.

You destroyed him.

He didn't know who he was up against.

Mic drop.

You drop that mic!

They should give you a show.

My dream.

We need more loudmouths like you.

There's an angry white man at my work.

Can't handle a Mandarin-speaking Latina.

I showed him up at a meeting last week.

My God!

There are 2 Mandarin words for "boomer."

There's no shortage of those here.

Seriously.

That's the one.

That's a $250 bottle.

It's my pleasure.

It's too much.

It's been a year.

Let's celebrate.

Later, the exhibit, karaoke,

then my place.

Thank you.

Thank you, young man.

Cheers!

I can feel my shoulders drop.

I got so many positive comments.

I started a hashtag: I am a beaver.

That's awesome.

Your brother wrote me.

I told you he follows you.

I haven't seen him in 15 years.

He gave you his virginity.

I still remember my mother

holding up the blood-stained sheet,

yelling: "My boy! What have you done?

Not before marriage!"

I thought he got his face busted up.

I was freaking out,

until I saw Val running around…

Her little tits bouncing around.

"I'm sorry!"

I kept apologizing.

I was looking for my bra.

It was on the Gandalf figurine.

That sip cost $25.

It's my pleasure.

Hide me.

Who is it?

That's my daddy.

Who? That's not your dad.

He asked me to call him daddy.

Don't look!

When? Details.

Last week.

Long story short,

we were fucking, and he was soft.

He was gonna break his dick

trying to cram it in.

Come on!

As a last resort to get hard, he goes:

"Call me daddy."

Did you do it?

To end it,

I go: "Yeah, daddy!

"Thank you, daddy.

"That's good, daddy.

Again, daddy."

That's so gross!

After, I saw a photo of his kids.

I coached them at music camp.

Cycle of life.

Penises are dumb,

like Moomins without eyes.

Good one.

Women are more tender.

Am I the only one who hasn't been lesbian?

How's your sex life with Jo?

Things are good.

He's a perfectionist.

Giving good head is his new life goal.

He watches online tutorials.

It's called porn.

He could text with his tongue.

Fuckers! $40 for parking.

They're nuts.

What are you talking about?

Your hidden talents, Jo.

How's the big star?

Nice shirt.

My finest.

Dressed like a prince.

Audrey said to dress up

to meet your girlfriend.

I found this in my BlackBerry.

My God.

I hadn't grown into my face.

It's terrible.

Delete it.

It's such a good memory.

You're hilarious.

It's a long crotch.

Talk to the carpenter.

It'll go to Monday.

I'm in Montreal.

I'm no show-off.

It's the sign of the horn.

It's so ugly.

These little friends.

Look at my pointy boobs

and huge nipples.

Put a bra on her.

Check out my Avril Lavigne pants.

Remember my crush on that closeted gay guy?

Jean-Michel Landry!

This is corny,

but those were the days.

You're crazy. I'd never go back.

No, not you.

But we've grown into beautiful women.

Radio star, single-family home, Gucci bag…

Is it real?

Then he can shit at the gas station.

How's it going, Paul-Émile?

Good.

Hi.

- So?
- Monday.

- Excited to meet my girlfriend?
- Yeah.

What's her name again?

Come on.

Every time.

Amber.

Amber alert!

Call an amber-lance.

So, buddy,

how are the renovations going?

We bought the model home.

It was pretty turnkey.

My mistake. I meant your work.

I said renovations, but…

The construction? Good.

As long as people poop, I'll have a job.

Yeah.

Thanks.

- Come on.
- I'm hungry.

That's exactly it.

It's called Garden's Tale and How It Ended.

It's a reflection on humankind

and our impact on the environment.

Amber wants to show

how nature will reassert its rights.

You're laughing at me?

It's really interesting.

Very interesting.

I know I'm not a curator,

but I memorized her grant application.

You're perfect.

This is very interesting.

It's vaginitis.

A bad case of vaginitis.

She's here.

Thank you. I'm so glad you're here.

You scored, buddy.

This is Audrey.

Your work is amazing.

Thank you.

Val.

Hi, baby!

Delighted.

Thank you.

I'm Paul-Émile.

Named after a great Quebec artist.

Paul-Émile Borduas.

Not sure my parents would agree.

They were children of the Refus Global.

I love your work.

The force of nature over humanity.

That's right.

Well, I'm a lecturer.

His thesis on economic decline

is widely published.

Why aren't you a professor?

It'd be good for you.

You'd at least get dental.

I get massages through my job.

I don't mind just being a lecturer.

You have less of an ecological footprint

on a small salary.

It forces you to do carsharing

and recycle Kleenex when you jerk off.

I'm so touched you came tonight.

Sab told me a lot about you.

My family is far. They couldn't come.

A toast to Amber and her amazing exhibit.

Thank you, my love.

To Val, our rising star.

To Audrey, who…

I'd like to toast to the 1%.

We're lucky to be born here.

Let's enjoy it before the ice caps melt.

We have a good 10 years

before we hit the point of no return.

10 years is plenty.

10 years of private-import wine.

Amazon deliveries.

Wi-Fi, all-you-can-eat sushi.

Airbnbs on the Riviera Maya.

Nothing worse than zero-waste millennials

who think Airbnbs

are more authentic than resorts.

"Your parents destroyed Cancun.

You're destroying Tulum."

I can't wait to have palm trees here.

There won't be any palm trees.

It was a joke.

It wasn't very meta.

I'll shut up.

She's right.

That's the end of the world:

rosé in the park till late November.

Aromatic and supple.

Thanks for being here.

Thanks for inviting us.

Jesus.

I love hail.

This wasn't in the forecast.

It's obviously an act of God.

It's the second time in 3 days.

It's not an act of God.

It's an act of us.

It's true.

Humans are upsetting the balance of nature.

On a daily basis.

We're gonna see more of this.

Look.

More hail, heat domes, hurricanes…

Enough about the end of the world.

Are you depressed?

I'm being realistic.

It's tangible.

We can measure the crisis.

Right now, it measures about…

3 centimeters, or more.

Does he ever shut up?

Can we drink and forget the ice caps?

Your girlfriend is something.

Chin up.

Like this?

From the side?

It's better.

Sweetie, I saw my daddy earlier.

My God.

Did you talk?

I hid.

No thanks.

Who is this guy?

A big fan of role-play sex.

You could say that.

He's a guy Val slept with.

He asked her to call him daddy.

It's pretty disturbing.

I don't get your open relationship.

You tell each other that stuff?

Communication is the rule.

The key.

If you talk about it,

it's not infidelity.

But you sleep with other people.

We obviously have relations.

Sorry, I mean regulations.

That's funny!

We have regulations.

What would Freud think?

Every couple is different.

For us, it's never with the same person.

Never with someone we know.

Never in our bed.

Never with a dog owner. I'm allergic.

It happened once. Never again.

Never a conservative, out of principal.

We're very political.

No man wants to share his girlfriend.

It's true.

The most beautiful girl in the world

could throw herself at me.

I'd say: "No thanks.

I have what I need at home."

That's beautiful.

You represent a sort of ideal of…

Heteronormativity?

Is that a compliment or insult?

On our first date, I made a fire.

Next morning, cooked an omelet.

3 months later, we were engaged.

We're still waiting 5 years later.

We're starting to get excited.

One day.

It's coming.

We have our guest list.

Monogamy is great when it's effortless.

We're very much exclusive.

It's my first time.

Val has been with a woman.

What about you, Amber?

Have you ever been with a man?

I was with a couple once.

He worked in startups. She was a model.

It was just for fun.

I was in love with her.

I fall in love with a person,

not a gender.

That's very interesting.

You OK?

I'm good.

What's going on?

I don't want to talk about it.

I'll have to work at McDonald's.

Why do you say that?

I don't want to talk about it.

My contract wasn't renewed.

Come on! What?

You're the smartest one.

Keep it down.

I don't want the others to hear.

You just found out?

They told you in an email?

Mediocrity is their gold standard.

That's the issue.

It's the boomer host

who can't see he's in a position of power

because he's a victim of Speak White.

His imagined colonization

makes him too fragile to take a joke.

This gives you the moral upper hand.

Let's drop it.

It'll ruin my night.

You gonna tell your friends?

No.

I think you should.

I disagree.

There's the Ferris wheel.

Let's take a photo.

Come, Val!

Good night, Montreal!

You've never been inside?

I haven't.

Wanna drive?

I don't have a licence.

You don't have a licence?

Nope.

You only drive a bike?

This here…

What's this little contraption?

That's to unclog pipes.

Don't touch it.

That's poop, pal.

Today, I made a huge deal at work.

That's great!

I'm really happy.

I sold a factory to some Americans.

Is Amber the love of your life?

I've never been so in love.

She's so amazing.

She's beautiful, physically, but…

She isn't just beautiful.

She's talented.

With a face like that,

you've won the genetic lottery.

Is it possible to be unhappy? No.

That's crazy.

I can't be unhappy 'cause I'm rich?

You can't be sad 'cause you're famous?

Take Audrey.

You know what I mean.

Audrey does taxes…

And that's so boring,

it sucks the life out of you.

It's like a vortex. You fall in…

Is she unhappy?

Audrey, no!

You're hurting me.

Did I hurt your cancer?

Turns out I don't have it. Stop!

Your tits are bigger.

They're full.

For real?

4 cancers a year.

I feel little tumors.

Leave my tits alone.

My bubble!

Darn! You OK?

I'm fine.

I hate it when you say "darn."

OK, language police.

Are you pregnant?

Are you on the pill?

I stopped. It made me dizzy.

Have you tried anal sex?

Enough, Val.

It's a great form of contraception.

So you could be pregnant.

Seriously!

Excuse me.

Of course.

It's fine.

I just got in.

I was gonna get out.

Watch the glasses.

Are you late?

Maybe a couple weeks.

That's normal for me.

My God.

Calm down.

Looks that way.

It really does.

Hang on.

It's a no.

Baby!

I don't want a baby.

I want to be the godmother.

With Sab as fairy godmother,

your child will get a college fund.

Not only that.

She'd be generous with her time too.

Don't put the cart before the horse.

Until I see two blue lines…

We good?

Can we go?

Scoot!

That song reminds me of Steph Villeneuve.

She has a kid now.

It's crazy.

She posts 6 photos a day.

Why do you follow her?

She's so ugly.

The cleavage, the face…

It's too much.

She's the kind of girl…

It hurts to look at.

Duck face!

She's the kind of girl…

She has a tacky J.Lo vibe.

I hate when you do this.

It's true.

She's still as trashy.

She'd show off her vag.

You can't have bleached hair and a kid.

You either star in a porn or give life.

Make banana bread or have a stinky vag.

You either…

Just having a little fun.

You're right, love. We'll stop.

Hey, you're our designated driver.

I can handle a shot a wheel.

Thanks for the great night.

We're gonna take you back.

To the early 2000s.

Gentrification has spread to entertainment.

Excuse me?

Gentrification.

Working class people can't go out without

being reminded of their social status

by hipsters who want to slum it to party,

clueless that their presence

raises the price of beer.

I hadn't thought of that.

I was very inspired by land art.

Your work made me think about Deleuze,

his concept of the line of escape.

He talks about different types of lines.

There's the break line.

It makes men prisoners of social norms.

So many people take the beaten path.

Exactly, and without asking questions.

School, work, retirement…

We should follow our impulses.

Our desires.

That's the line of escape.

Something inside of you you can't let out.

As a queer artist, you're outside the norm.

You too, being in an open relationship.

It's a line of escape, right?

Thank you, Montreal!

Poor Paul-Émile.

He seemed surprised you'd been with a guy.

She was the one I was into.

He was like…

an extra.

A dildo with legs.

You rats aren't ready!

We're gonna make you sweat!

Get up!

Think you're pregnant?

I don't think so.

I don't know.

Imagine.

It would really be…

Provocative

I don't understand.

It's not that I don't want to.

I want you, even though…

my lack of erection suggests otherwise.

It's just…

I'm a bit confused.

This isn't like you.

This doesn't seem fluid or organic.

It's a bit aggressive.

Pony posted a photo of Garden's Tale.

I love Pony.

Awesome.

I follow her too.

I'm glad Montreal likes my garden.

That's quite the image.

I'm gonna quit my job.

OK, René Angélil.

She's gonna be huge.

I'm impressed.

Being an artist…

It would stress me out.

I'd never lock myself up in a studio

to make gardens all day.

They're not just gardens.

I don't want to be pretentious…

It's political.

You have to be an artist to understand.

Aren't we all artists?

We make creative choices daily.

Matching your shoes and purse

doesn't make you an artist.

I can't find my Gravol.

Would you mind stopping?

I feel nauseous.

You're so pregnant.

You have to take a test.

We're here for Gravol.

Wouldn't it be good news?

You might not be.

If I am…

Siri…

voluntary termination of pregnancy.

I don't know how to answer that.

Siri is pro-life.

You have to take a test.

Having a kid is hard…

You'd be perfect.

I want someone to take hunting, fishing.

You're having a Scout.

I'll let you in on a secret.

I've been thinking about what you said,

about a lover in distress

following consensual infidelity.

No man wants to share his girlfriend.

Yes.

By the way,

was that something you read?

That was me.

I came up with it on my own.

You have a lot of acuity,

because you're right.

If I had known,

I never would have proposed it.

Does Jonathan want kids?

Yeah, but you know.

What?

I don't know if I…

If you what?

I don't know.

Don't know what?

Having a kid with Jo…

He's a great guy.

It's just that…

sometimes, I find him too…

Do you find him too…

Come on, Val. He's more…

Nothing like that.

It's just that there's no…

surprises, you know?

He's very predictable.

That's the word.

Our week's climax is Friday happy hour.

He's a good soul.

You see it in his eyes.

He'd be the best dad.

But he's never left home

because he doesn't like to travel.

The most exotic place we go

is his shack in the woods.

You're forced to go fishing.

I know a good women's shelter.

You're so dumb.

You know Val.

Her personality is…

It isn't always their fault.

Take Audrey.

Her mom's been sick since she was little.

What does she have?

Multiple sclerosis.

It's…

It's big, man.

In high school,

Audrey decided to drop out.

I didn't know that.

The girls decided to help her.

She wasn't eating.

She was failing her classes.

So Val and Sab took shifts.

They helped around the house.

The worst was when

they were at university here.

Audrey had to go back home

to take care of her.

Say you Marie Kondo your life,

toss out anything that doesn't spark joy.

Does Jonathan…

What's your 5-year plan for happiness?

The long-dormant air quotes are back.

I don't know.

I don't even know what I like.

It's heavy not knowing.

I've never been wild.

Maybe I'd like to do ecstasy on a beach.

Or build a school in Kenya.

I mean…

I don't know myself because,

I've always made safe choices:

my house, my job, my boyfriend.

Safety, health…

Taking care of my mom didn't help.

I'd love to leave it all behind.

I'd like to…

I don't know, feel unsafe,

and see my reaction.

Could I find my way in a favela?

I've never tried.

Sorry.

Start with trips to Quebec City?

Nothing is more destabilizing than a child.

It's beautiful.

But if I had a kid,

this is it.

The vortex to infinity.

Where's the damn Gravol?

A baby!

In 200 meters,

take the first exit.

Fuck!

Jesus Christ!

Watch my neighbor's car.

Stop laughing.

Wait till you have a truck.

I'm gonna puke.

Is it always this long?

It's a lot of work.

Especially since she went blind.

We have to wash her eyes,

and her nose.

She slams into walls.

Are you really that allergic?

Definitely.

Don't worry, we got a Molekule.

You know the air purifier?

It's good for allergies.

What did that cost?

It's fine, we'll keep it.

Since when do you speak English?

Do I have to answer that?

She leaves home talking like us.

We dress and think the same.

Then university universalizes her.

It was very Frenglish, very…

You're a real Montrealer.

Sab is a Wall Street citizen.

You'd love to write about it?

Your friends would like that.

Relax.

It bothers you that I've changed.

I should still be a little airhead

in a Roxy sweatshirt?

I'm not in the mood for your shit.

We have a choice.

We call it a night, or have some fun.

Let's have fun!

I was kidding.

Sweet little baby!

Welcome to my home.

It's beautiful.

It's very elegant.

Where's the bathroom?

To your left.

Leave your things in the back room.

Fuck, it smells good.

There's the Molekule.

Thank you.

They're mean to you.

I know.

What if it's positive?

I don't know.

Is it the right time?

It's normal to be scared.

Having a baby is the unknown.

You're scared of the unknown.

I hate myself.

It's normal to have doubts.

It's the adventure of a lifetime.

I'm a real philosopher tonight.

We don't know yet.

Can we stop talking as if…

Relax.

If we decide to keep it…

I'm all in.

I deal with shit all day.

I'm not scared of dirty diapers.

A little pee-pee?

Sorry.

It's fine.

You OK?

They sent me an email…

a fucking email,

to fire me.

You're loved on that show.

You're made for it.

They want a sycophant to cackle at jokes.

What are you gonna do?

Do you have a plan B?

Do you have other contacts?

The industry is full of kiss-asses

and kingpin hosts in their 50s.

They're too lazy for self-reflection.

Boomers pretending to be woke.

That's radio.

Do you have savings, investments?

Investments?

Who has investments?

Freelancers should be protected.

You should get unemployment.

Dammit.

What does Paul-Émile make?

$16,000.

16K?

You'll lose the apartment.

Rents in Montreal are so high.

16K is nothing.

What are you gonna do?

Relax.

Sorry. I'm an idiot.

That's stressful, we'll help you.

I'm sure that Sab…

Don't tell Sab.

I won't.

I don't want anyone to know.

Is my mascara running?

You're perfect.

That's awesome!

It's so cool.

It's all on a network?

It would be weird if she had a kid.

What do you mean?

Think about it.

You'd be a great dad.

You'll be the first responder.

Of course I'll help.

She'll be up nights breastfeeding.

She's too anxious to have a kid.

Val, please.

I'm not worried.

When she feels off,

she does her 5-4-3-2-1.

What's that?

It has to do with the senses.

It helps with anxiety.

She'll put a helmet on the baby

to breastfeed.

She's cautious.

She'll worry you drop it.

She'll never trust you.

She may not be pregnant.

It's OK to say she's too anxious

to be a mom if it's true.

It's her uterus.

She's traumatized by her mom's illness.

She's fragile.

Look away.

It's delicious. Where's it from?

A caterer on Notre-Dame. You know them?

I don't.

I'll give you their card.

It's delicious.

Best canapés in town.

Is the concrete floor cold in the winter?

It's heated.

This place is top-notch.

It's all Amber.

I should have come out

a thousand years ago.

I don't know what to say.

I'm trying to come up with a sentence.

I should have shouted it from the bathroom.

I should have said: "Oh my God!"

The dog was there,

the blind dog just staring at me.

It was weird.

You probably already guessed.

I don't know if I'll keep it.

I… I don't know.

How do I say it?

I'm pregnant.

Is that weird?

That's…

Frida is stuck behind the dryer.

Sorry.

You're gonna be great.

I can see him running…

Playing in the yard while you barbecue.

Snuggling up with you in bed.

He'll laugh at your squirrel face.

It's so ugly.

I'm a squirrel…

It's gonna be beautiful.

All the love.

Sorry.

You OK?

I'm great.

I'm just happy…

for my friend.

You'll be so beautiful with your kiddo.

Going on field trips with your kid

is more exciting than a favela.

Just don't start wearing a bucket hat.

No way.

Death isn't a skeleton in a cape.

It's a lady in a bucket hat and backpack

going fishing.

Don't cut your hair.

The convenient short cut

because moms don't have time.

It better be a girl.

Boys let their mothers die alone.

I definitely won't.

She's stressed out.

She's not used to people.

I know.

I'm 6 weeks. It has a heartbeat.

That's life!

It's so crazy.

It's awesome.

It's the real deal.

So you're keeping it?

Yeah.

I'm gonna be a godmother.

I'm so happy for you.

You OK?

Jesus Christ!

I got bubbles in my nose.

I swallowed through my nose.

Could you be more vaudevillian?

It was an accident.

Sorry.

Isn't it…

a bit irresponsible to have a child?

It's burning.

I know.

Overpopulation will cause major crises.

That's an ecofreak thing.

In a world of finite resources,

we can't reproduce infinitely.

A child is 60 tons of CO2 a year.

There are other problems.

20 times worse than your truck.

Leave my pickup out of it.

It's criminal as fuck.

How else do I load my bucks?

They won't fit in a Yaris.

One less child…

means less diapers, less food.

I hunt and trap.

If everyone had one less child…

That's why you wouldn't have kids?

If you care about humanity…

You just can't let go of your youth.

It's about social conscience.

For the first time in history,

we don't have to have kids.

It's become a whim.

It's not a whim.

Raising a human being…

takes you out of your ego…

Why would she make that sacrifice?

There has to be more to life.

Who's gonna get stretch marks?

Be up all night?

Giving life is a beautiful thing.

Isn't that a bit sappy?

Who gives a fuck?

His poops will be beautiful too?

So beautiful.

If I was a father,

I wouldn't pin my hopes on my kid,

as in the future.

The future is agony.

Humankind's strength is adaptability.

We're not Pokémons.

We don't change our lifestyles

until we get cancer.

Globally, it's not gonna happen.

It's over.

We have to change our perspective.

You're so depressing.

Every generation has its end of the world.

It's not about our generation

or the fucking Mayan calendar.

When gas costs you a day's pay,

you'll see the end is closer than we think.

When shit hits the fan, we'll be fine.

We have guns and a cabin in the woods.

As if guns are the answer.

I'd be terrified to be a mom.

Say your kid is born in '23

and lives to be 85,

that means he'll die in…

2023 plus 80…

In 2108, Earth will be toast.

Babies will wear gas masks.

Little Leopold…

He'll have a thrift-store name.

Leopold won't eat red tuna,

just sand cakes.

Little Balthazar, another recycled name,

will breathe through a straw

because of his emphysema.

A virus will kill Euzebe at 42.

Then don't have kids,

but enough Walking Dead.

With technology…

Let's all live on Mars.

Yeah.

You need money to survive.

We have it, so we'll live on Mars.

If things don't change,

we'll have a billion climate refugees.

Not 2 or 3.

A fucking billion.

We'll put up barb wire.

We let your family in.

That's different.

It's the same thing.

Your parents fled cartels to come here.

Change your tone.

Humanity is coming to an end.

Scientists are committing suicide.

It's not a matter of opinion.

It's happening. Check your feed.

I'm not an idiot.

I'm just saying…

Nature takes over.

Shut up and let her talk.

If everyone loses faith in humanity…

I see why you'd say that.

It's hard to accept that it's over.

This is ridiculous.

We shouldn't have kids.

If informed people won't have kids,

how will things change?

What does your girlfriend do for work?

It's not my fault people are starving.

You're at the root of the problem.

Quebecers can't handle ambition.

It's the "born to be a beggar" syndrome.

Success bothers you.

That's not what I'm saying.

What are you saying?

Take our cell phones.

Coltan is mined in the Congo,

by Canadian companies

sparking tribal violence.

Canada, and you as a cell-phone owner,

contributes to the rape of babies

whose anuses and vaginas

form a single hole, a cloaca.

That's disgusting!

Google "chicken genitalia."

It hurts.

I want to puke.

Your job helps companies destroy the world.

You create economic crises.

And wars. But don't feel bad.

Genocide pays the bills.

I'm provoking them.

Whatever, that's a sophism.

What do you do?

Concretely?

Besides drinking negronis in speakeasies.

I'm so frugal that…

Frugal!

I'm on the board at the women's shelter.

Congratulations.

Do you volunteer, give back to society?

No car.

We compost.

You compost.

The saviors of humanity.

Money makes the world go round.

We agree on that.

I enjoy it, you whine.

We agree.

Can we change the subject?

The planet will survive us.

Natural selection, that's it.

You'll be the first to go.

No way you're coming to my camp.

I didn't know concrete floors

were a ticket to Noah's Ark.

Please stop!

I can't breathe.

Let's go to the hospital.

I'll call an ambulance.

It's hurts here.

I'm not OK.

I'm here.

It's not the time to talk about this.

She knows things aren't OK.

Think it over with a Coke Zero.

Chill.

You always have a comeback

to hide your vulnerability.

Excuse me?

If you were kinder to yourself,

you wouldn't be so frustrated.

An Ontarian.

Yeah.

That's it.

Ontarians are like frozen fries.

Their clothes are clean,

but you can taste the freezer.

That's my fucking girlfriend.

What?

We were talking at karaoke.

It just came out.

Anything to get your dick wet.

You didn't want to close the relationship.

What do you want?

We shouldn't have opened it.

I never thought you'd say yes!

She's a lesbian to be cool.

She could've sucked you off at the bar.

What the fuck?

You're disgusting.

She's the problem.

It's fucking you.

You always make us feel like shit.

#I am a beaver, my ass.

No irony, no second-degree?

I forgot them with my air quotes.

She needs a good dose of reality.

A hospitalization, nothing serious:

pneumonia…

Girls, enough.

You're awfully quiet.

You agree?

Excuse me.

I wonder if Amber is with you

for the right reasons.

Think she's with you

to alleviate her white guilt?

I paid for everything tonight.

You don't even have the decency

to thank me.

Jesus!

You're fucking jealous.

This has gone too far.

This is why I didn't want to come.

You two always gang up on me.

The queen bee, the best friend, the loser.

We're not teenagers anymore.

I'm done being your fucking scapegoat,

the third wheel who keeps her mouth shut

'cause she's not good or funny enough,

just not enough.

I'm the second-generation immigrant

at the top of her game,

and you don't even see it.

Would it be so hard to say, once:

"I'm proud of you, my friend.

What you've achieved is incredible."

What do you want us to say?

All night, you've flaunted your success.

We're sitting on it.

You're sleeping with it.

I'm fucking proud.

I make 400K a year

in a job where people respect me.

No one talks to me like you do.

Get with it, man.

Your teenage glory days are over.

At 32,

you're the fucking loser.

Don't be mean.

I'd shut up if I were you.

Shut your fucking mouth.

Why don't you ever fucking defend me?

Where were you when I was getting shit on?

In your head, freaking out, as usual.

Aren't you sick of being you?

When you were gone,

she was saying you'll be a bad mom

'cause you're too anxious…

Some fucking friend.

I don't feel good.

There won't be a baby.

Come on.

I want to go.

Look at me. It's gonna be OK.

How do you know?

I could be sick.

Like my mom.

Or I'll pass it on.

You won't.

We don't know that.

You'll be an amazing mom.

Stop talking.

You're gonna be great.

Tell her to stop.

Sweetie, look at me.

We're going back home.

Go get our suitcases.

Not a word.

You're wrong.

She's stronger than you think.

She's a good person.

There's a lot you don't see.

She's happy at home.

We have a good, comfortable life.

We're getting married.

Sorry, but you're judgmental too.

You're a great guy.

Sorry for what I'm about to say.

It'll be hard to hear.

She doesn't want children with you.

What?

I thought you should know.

She thinks her life is boring,

and it includes you.

She said "predictable."

Same thing.

It means unsurprising, not boring.

If my girlfriend felt I was a bad choice,

I'd want to know.

She never said "bad."

She said "safe."

What's wrong?

Wow, I…

Yeah, no.

What's going on?

I'm sorry.

It's gonna be OK, buddy.

I don't get it.

I didn't see that one coming.

What is it?

Tell me.

I'm getting the fuck out of here.

We're going, together.

I need the pickup for Monday.

I'm gonna get the bus.

Love, what is it?

Unpredictable enough for you?

What did you say?

I'm talking to you!

What did you say?

To make him leave?

Shut up.

What did you say?

A pregnant woman just got dumped.

In the Excel chart of pain…

I bet you're happy.

You told him she didn't want his kids.

You chimed in too.

What?

Why did you do that?

I was just talking.

I said what popped into my head.

I exaggerated, like everybody does.

How could you?

I think…

we're gonna go.

We'll talk soon.

We won't talk soon.

I'm fed up.

I'm done with us.

I get a headache when I see you.

I don't sleep when we have plans.

And for what?

What unites us? Nothing.

Fuck all.

There's nothing left to say.

What's wrong?

It started with the discovery of fire.

Prometheus gave humans

the fire of knowledge.

Instead of using it wisely,

everything we created will destroy us.

Pee-pee pads…

We'll all end up choking on pee-pee pads.