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1
00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:43,544
Back up!
2
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,174
Get your ass back!
3
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:46,670
I don't know who you think
you messing with,
4
00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:47,802
but I'll tell you got--
5
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,418
Oh, shit.
6
00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:51,554
He gonna fucking eat my ass.
7
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,546
You're gonna eat my ass
8
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,564
and set me on fire
or some shit, ain't you?
9
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,976
Who are you? Huh?
10
00:00:57,975 --> 00:01:00,765
Where am I? Tell me--tell me...
tell me where I'm at.
11
00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:03,149
Oh, wait a minute.
12
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,186
Do you work...
do you work for Karl Stromberg?
13
00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:11,777
I said do you work
for Karl Stromberg?
14
00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:18,369
Okay.
15
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:23,997
Okay. Okay, we in it.
This is it.
16
00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:27,421
We're doing it. Okay, Karl!
I like it. I like it.
17
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,511
Um, okay. Shit.
18
00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,426
Okay. Let me see where are...
where are we in the script.
19
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:34,385
God, my adrenaline is
flowing so much. You got me.
20
00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:36,756
I thought you was
really trying to eat my ass.
21
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,773
All right. Uh, okay.
Three, two, one.
22
00:01:39,892 --> 00:01:42,642
Okay. Rice, peas, carrots.
Let's go.
23
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,323
You know, I've been searching
the globe for you.
24
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,780
You're a hard man
to find Mr. Bartholomew.
25
00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:01,333
I think you got a line.
26
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:03,369
You got a line.
27
00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:07,593
Uh, you say your part,
then I'll react off of that
28
00:02:07,586 --> 00:02:09,836
because what you say
sets me up to now...
29
00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:11,758
unless you're not union. Are...
30
00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:13,377
Is he union or no?
31
00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:17,599
- Guys, can you not-- Okay.
32
00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:19,766
Oh, rewrite.
There must've been pink pages.
33
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:21,475
Okay, uh, let me get back in it.
34
00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:26,686
What you gonna do
with those?
35
00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:31,028
Chop off my finger? Hmm?
Cut off my leg, my foot?
36
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:35,606
Newsflash, I only need one foot
to kick your ass.
37
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,740
That is a trailer moment.
38
00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:41,043
- Guys, I only--
39
00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:43,406
Good evening.
40
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:46,043
Do not use
the shears on this man.
41
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:50,134
Is that... is that the producer?
Is that Karl? Karl!
42
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:52,628
He must atone for his sins.
43
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:56,180
What is that,
atone for my... I don't know.
44
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,796
He must feel the pain
45
00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,513
he has made others feel.
46
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:05,234
Yeah, I'm lost, guys.
I don't know where we are.
47
00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:08,857
Um, if we're gonna do a rewrite,
GR's gotta give me the pages.
48
00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:10,766
I'll stay in it.
I'll stay in it. Um...
49
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:16,151
Okay. All right. Okay.
50
00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:17,704
Why don't we...
why don't we take it easy?
51
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,318
'Cause I know
why you're mad, huh?
52
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,084
You mad because I...
Stop right there.
53
00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,236
Let's stop right there.
No, no, no.
54
00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:24,164
Let's make that your mark.
Whoa. No. Stop right there.
55
00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:27,876
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey!
56
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,165
Count to ten.
57
00:03:29,168 --> 00:03:33,758
No. Fuck you! Wait.
Hey, hey, hey. Hey, man! Hey!
58
00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:35,165
Oh, no, no, no.
59
00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:36,634
Don't cut my dick.
Don't cut my dick.
60
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:39,093
That's a... Okay.
Using it... Use... I'mma use it.
61
00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:41,644
Stay in it.
62
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:43,886
Yeah!
63
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:53,898
One, two...
64
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,609
Come on. Come on.
65
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:15,169
Dammit. No, not today.
66
00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:20,342
Yeah! Did we get it? Huh?
67
00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:23,564
Spin it.
We got it. Yeah.
68
00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:30,397
Come and lay your ass, Montoya.
69
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:34,148
This looks incredible.
It's so good.
70
00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:38,202
Shit.
71
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,572
It's Montoya's men.
72
00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:55,458
Jordan?
The hell are you doing here?
73
00:04:59,258 --> 00:05:01,928
Son of a bitch.
Did they hurt you?
74
00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:03,467
Hmm? Did they hurt you?
75
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,510
Kevin, what the hell
is going on?
76
00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:08,024
The uranium heist.
That's what's going on.
77
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:10,556
- The what?
- I already handled Bartholomew.
78
00:05:10,561 --> 00:05:12,151
But General Montoya,
79
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,895
he's not gonna
let us off this easy.
80
00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:16,777
What the hell
are you talking about?
81
00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:18,776
Shit.
82
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:19,987
I was walking my dog
83
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:22,357
and someone hit me
in the fucking neck
84
00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:23,824
with a tranquilizer dart.
85
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,664
- Huh?
- And I ended up here.
86
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,409
What are you talking about?
87
00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:29,251
You didn't talk
to Karl Stromberg?
88
00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:30,456
Who?
89
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:32,745
Karl Stromberg. About the movie.
90
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:35,339
Right now, we're in it.
This is the movie.
91
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,705
It's a live action movie.
92
00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:39,012
We're improving
all the action scenes.
93
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,876
No green screen,
no fucking cables.
94
00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:43,184
It's real. Raw.
95
00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:44,677
It's gonna take my acting career
96
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,508
and my action status
to the next level.
97
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:47,813
So this is all your fault?
98
00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:50,392
Well, I mean, this my script.
It took me...
99
00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:51,642
I don't know
how long to develop it
100
00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:53,313
- but Karl did--
- What the hell is your problem?
101
00:05:53,312 --> 00:05:54,272
Stop. What are you--
102
00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:55,901
- What is wrong with you?
- Shit. Ow!
103
00:05:55,898 --> 00:05:58,568
- I didn't do anything.
- Shit. That's sharp.
104
00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:00,487
How long were you
laying on that?
105
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:01,895
Damn it.
106
00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:03,914
And why you got an attitude?
107
00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:07,906
This is a simple outline.
It's a lay-up, okay?
108
00:06:07,910 --> 00:06:09,290
I'm a triple agent.
109
00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:11,906
MI7,
I'm the highest of high, right?
110
00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:13,754
Like you can't get higher
than where I am.
111
00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:15,629
But you,
you're my love interest.
112
00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:16,666
They took you hostage
113
00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:17,918
'cause they knew
it's the only way to get to me.
114
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,010
So now I'm here
and I got to get you.
115
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,375
- You understand what I'm saying?
- You're classic,
116
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:24,681
and I'm pretty sure
that kidnaping is a felony.
117
00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:27,006
Well, I'm pretty sure that
when you're an adult,
118
00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:28,312
they don't call it kidnapping.
119
00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:31,805
- So that's... that's pathetic.
- Fuck you, Kevin.
120
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:34,188
What do you mean, fuck me?
Why you mad at me?
121
00:06:34,186 --> 00:06:35,646
You should be mad
at Karl Stromberg.
122
00:06:35,646 --> 00:06:37,856
I do not know who that is.
123
00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:39,396
Shh.
124
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:44,950
You don't want them to hear you.
125
00:06:44,947 --> 00:06:46,987
Who? Who will hear me?
126
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:50,080
There's no one here,
and do not say Karl Stromberg.
127
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,617
Are you saying Strum or Strong?
Is it Strongberg, Stromberg?
128
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,001
'Cause I don't know
what that... Okay.
129
00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:57,247
Hey, hey,
there are cameras everywhere.
130
00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:59,551
We're filming a movie.
131
00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:04,045
Where? Where?
There are no cameras anywhere.
132
00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:07,179
Will you look around?
There's cameras everywhere.
133
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:08,927
Okay, listen, listen.
134
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:12,139
All I need you to do
is just grasp what's going on.
135
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,230
This is a big opportunity
for both of us.
136
00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:16,226
Okay, just get in character.
137
00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:18,018
- Please?
138
00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:25,526
They got this place locked down
tighter than Fort Knox.
139
00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:28,199
Oh, God. You're right.
It's tight out.
140
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:31,158
Those motherfuckers knew
I will come rescue you,
141
00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:33,449
a beautiful damsel
in distress like yourself.
142
00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:39,174
Yeah. Thank you for rescuing me.
143
00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:41,838
Just like any woman,
144
00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:45,417
I wouldn't know what to do
if a man didn't show up
145
00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:47,474
to save me and tell me to eat
146
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,927
so I don't starve
and breathe oxygen.
147
00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:52,308
- So that I don't suffocate.
- Let's cut. Let's cut.
148
00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:55,636
- Can we cut? Keyword with me.
149
00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:59,015
- I'd rather not.
- Please?
150
00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:02,065
- Okay.
- Thank you.
151
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:05,235
All right, guys, wanna go again?
All right. Self action.
152
00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:09,279
Do you have any idea what's
on the outside of that door?
153
00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:12,081
It's dangerous men
on the other side of that door.
154
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:15,405
I'm talking mercenaries,
killers, ninjas,
155
00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:17,252
failed karate school instructors,
156
00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:18,667
people that wanna do
bad things to me
157
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,455
just because they can.
158
00:08:20,459 --> 00:08:23,589
There's a bounty
on my fucking head.
159
00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:27,301
I'll tell you what, Esmeralda...
160
00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:31,087
I'll pay that bounty,
161
00:08:31,887 --> 00:08:33,557
and I will give them my head
162
00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:35,966
if it meant saving your life
163
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:37,354
so that you could
finish med school
164
00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:39,311
and open up that clinic that
you always wanted--
165
00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:40,941
Ow, shit!
166
00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:42,898
Open up that clinic
that you always wanted--
167
00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:44,648
- Esmeralda, wait.
168
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:48,033
Esmeralda, hey!
169
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:54,325
Oh, you fucking piece of shit.
170
00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:56,286
You leave her
out of here, you hear me?
171
00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,906
She's got nothing
to do with this.
172
00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:00,544
This is between me, you,
173
00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:04,001
and the 78,000 kilos
of stolen uranium.
174
00:09:05,087 --> 00:09:06,917
All right.
That's how you wanna have it.
175
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:08,971
Let's have at it.
176
00:09:10,843 --> 00:09:12,223
I'm so over this.
177
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:15,349
Kevin, next time
you have a terrible movie idea,
178
00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:16,677
leave me out of it, yeah?
179
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:19,182
- Oh, shit.
180
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:24,976
I'm sorry, but did this
central casting goon
181
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:27,732
just hit me in the face
with a real fucking axe?
182
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:28,744
Cut. No, no, no.
183
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,355
- We need to cut right now.
- No.
184
00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:31,662
- I don't know what...
- Don't cut. Don't cut.
185
00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,865
...production this is but I need
to speak to a producer--
186
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:47,171
Is that all you've got?
187
00:09:48,714 --> 00:09:50,674
Jordan, let me get in there now.
188
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,429
Slam his ass.
189
00:09:57,973 --> 00:10:01,103
Jordan, let my character
get some, tag me in.
190
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,442
Yeah.
191
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,702
Hold it. Hold it.
192
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:22,868
Yeah.
193
00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:28,248
Whoo! We got that. What a scene.
194
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:29,593
Good job.
195
00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:30,798
Here.
196
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,257
I think I'm the one
that was supposed
197
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:33,717
to kick his ass, though.
198
00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:34,837
'Cause I'm the lead,
199
00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:36,303
so I'm quite sure that
was supposed to be me.
200
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,473
- But we'll fix it in the post--
201
00:10:39,056 --> 00:10:40,466
Go, go, go, go!
202
00:10:46,939 --> 00:10:49,019
That guy
was trying to kill me.
203
00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:50,864
Kevin, not acting. Not a movie.
204
00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:53,029
- Literally trying to kill me!
- No.
205
00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:55,358
It's cinema veritฤยฉ.
I know it's a little different,
206
00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:56,574
- but that's what it is.
- Different?
207
00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:58,703
A little fucking different,
Kevin?
208
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,330
Whoa. Are you okay?
209
00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:01,747
Yeah, I know you're just trying
to get me to apologize.
210
00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:02,865
No, no, no.
211
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,331
- Just give me a second. What?
- Kevin.
212
00:11:05,082 --> 00:11:08,592
You've been hit
with a real fucking bullet.
213
00:11:10,045 --> 00:11:11,125
That's not real blood.
214
00:11:11,964 --> 00:11:13,094
What--
215
00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:15,180
- Of course it's real blood!
- No. Taste it.
216
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,885
I'm not gonna
taste your blood, Kevin.
217
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:18,755
You can. You can.
It's pig's blood.
218
00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:20,062
- No--
- It's not my blood.
219
00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:22,890
Does that feel fake?
220
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:26,021
- Ow! Ow!
- Shit. Shit. Shit.
221
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,729
- Shit.
- I gotta lay down.
222
00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:29,189
I gotta lay down.
223
00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:33,993
Kevin! Kevin!
224
00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:37,200
No, no, no, no. Wait, look.
There's a photographer. Look.
225
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:38,617
He wants your picture. There.
226
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:40,494
God.
227
00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:42,409
What the fuck?
15335
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