All language subtitles for Churchy s01e03 The Mourning After.eng

- Praise the Lord.

Are there any more
testimonies in the room?

Praise the Lord, sister.

Now, tell us what
God has done for you.

- I'm a backslider,
y'all pray for me.

- Oh.

- See, I used to come
home from school drunk.

- My God.

- Laying up with mens.

I was prosecuting, uh-uh,

giving oratorical
sex with my mouth.

That means I was
licking on men's balls,

is what I'm trying to say.

- That, that, that, let her.

- Okay, okay.
- Let her finish.

- Well, finish on.

- Tell us how God has
delivered you, baby.

- You mean delivered.
- Delivered.

- Deliver.
- Mm.

- That's all right.

- Take your time.
- Deliver.

- One time, my tongue went numb.

- Hmm.

- For 30.2 minutes.

- Okay, get back to Jesus, baby.

- Walk to the woman.
- Stick with him.

- Oh, but he delivered me.

- Amen.
- God delivered me!

- Amen.

- Amen, don't suck or
lick on nothing no more

unless I'm turning the
pages of the Bible.

- Okay, all right, I
appreciate ya, sister.

Go on, have a seat.

Delivered, you've been
delivered, thank you.

Does anybody else in the
church today have a...

a song?

Just a song.

[Pastor sighing]

[pages crinkling]

- I gave you a
couple of assignments

at the church this past week

and I just wanna let you know

you did an amazing job.

- Oh, thank you. [chuckling]

- So much so I feel
confident enough

to take a vacation this week.

- Vacation?
- Mm-hmm.

- You literally just
got back from vacation.

- Yeah, well, I got me a
nice little week planned.

I'm going down to San Antonio.

We're gonna stay at
the Courtyard Marriott

near the Riverwalk.
- Okay.

- They got extra pillows.
- Hey.

- Yeah, I'm gonna do it up.

- As you should.

- Hey, killer, now, come on.

- Okay.
- Right here.

Come on, have a seat.

- The big chair.
- Yeah, mm-hmm.

- Listen to me carefully.

This week, you gonna be
in charge of everything,

that's including Sunday service.

- I get to preach?

- Yeah, you get to preach.

The attendance will
be a little low

'cause I'm not gonna be there,

but don't let that distract
you from doing the work of God.

You are the man of the house.

You are not to call
me for any reason.

I'm on vacation.
- Okay.

- If it get that bad,
you take it to God.

If God can't handle
it, you call 911.

Do not call me.

- Understood.
- Any questions?

- No, and you know,
I just want you

to have a great vacation.

San Antonio is actually on my
bucket list of places to go.

San Antonio, then the
Maldives and Bora Bora,

so I can't wait to
be like you one day.

- See, I knew you understand.

Now,

I want you to remember this.

Don't call me.

- Okay.

Thank you.

Don't call you.

- Do not call me.
- I won't let you down.

- You will not let me down.

- Hey guys, listen, I'm so
excited to share with you.

I finally have the
media department set up so you'll be able

to stream my message
this Sunday, all the way from Lubbock.

I'm so excited to see
you and I can't tell you.

I thank you so much.

It goes, God, you guys
than everybody else.

See you Sunday.

Turn them notifications on.

All right, God bless y'all.

- Whew, to sleep in.

- Man, I can imagine.

Now, ain't you glad you don't
have to go to church today?

- You know, it does feel
good, I ain't gonna hold you.

- The biscuits and the
mimosas can be communion.

- I don't think
that's how that works.

- I think that's
100% how that works

because all the Bible
says is this is my body

and this is my blood.

It doesn't explicitly say

what kind of wine and
what kind of bread.

- So this is what a
reprobated mind looks like.

[sister laughing]

Girl.

- Cheers to my big sister
clearing $350,000 a year.

You broke host canovo.

[sister laughing]
All right.

- I definitely expected a bump,

but then I have stock options

and equity and a
bonus on top of that.

I cannot say that I expected
such a big comp package.

- So when you gonna
sell the house,

because you know you
can move to Calabasas

with that kind of money.

- But I'm already 10
minutes away from you

and that's unheard of in LA.

I don't wanna be that
far away from my sister.

- Oh, I'm so happy you said that

'cause I need you to watch
Mikia for us on Thursday.

Look, me and Jason have
an art installation

in Lamimert Park.
- Do I get to answer?

- Do you want an adorable
little baby out on the street

because if you do, let me know.

Just let me know.

There'll be a gorgeous,
precious baby out on the street.

- Girl, I'm not gonna do
that to her. [both laughing]

- Filling in for
our pastor today.

Listen, we have a guest speaker.

Now, I'm gonna ask you
for your patience today

as the interim pastor
comes to the podium.

Mr. Carr.

- Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen, is that all right?

Come on, y'all put y'all
hands together for God.

Yeah, come on, look at that.

Give an honor to God
who's ahead of my life

to all of you here,
the people online.

How many we got
online, Brother Rodney?

- 8,000.
- 8,000!

8,000 souls looking
for the Word of God.

While I won't hold you
guys right now, amen.

Turn with me in your bibles
to the Book of Psalms 14:23.

The verse reads, "All
hard work brings a profit,

but mere talk only
leads to poverty."

Amen, today's message
is actually about doing the work, huh,

verses talking
about the work, huh?

People ask me all the time how
I got such a large following.

- Had more people pass
away in my family this year

than there are in this church.

- The answer is, I did the work.

I did the work.

Four and five videos a day,
30 videos a week, amen.

I had to crawl
before I could walk.

See, some of y'all
want to walk like me,

but you ain't ready to...

[building rumbling]

Huh?

Before you can walk.

[building rumbling]

- Amen.

- The Bible says, "Faith
without works is dead."

So you're gonna have to

♪ Work, work, work, work, work

Amen.

Listen, some of you are
at the end of your lives.

Where will you
spend your overtime?

Are you sure that you're
gonna see God in eternity?

If you are, fine.

But if not, won't you come.

Amen, the hour's far
spent, won't you come.

♪ Won't you come

♪ Won't you come, won't
you come, won't you come ♪

Amen, if you're scared,
just lift your hands

and I'll come to you.

Amen, don't be afraid of it.

He won't bite ya.

Amen.

Okay, bye.

[mic rattling]

Oh, I love you so much.

Do you like how I preach?

Whew!

I ain't gonna let grand
feast stop our love.

- Yo. What?

What are you in here doing?

- I'm eating ice cream
by the scoopful, Rodney,

what does it look like?

- So, you wanna talk
about service today?

- What is there to talk about?

I had the worst preaching
episode of my life,

people were looking at
me like they saw a ghost.

I've never been more
embarrassed, ever.

- Well, online was different

'cause on your
live, you killed it.

- What?

- Bro, look at your analytics.

Your engagement was crazy.

Look, Church Alive took
some of your sermon

and put it on there.

- Wait, they loved it too?

- Bro, that Rihanna
piece really hit.

I thought it was terrible,
honestly, but you know,

who are me?

Man, Lubbock, Texas
got some cheeks, bro.

- Yeah, it's all that cornbread
and collard greens, man.

- Yeah, should I swipe
left or swipe right?

- Which one is good?

- Thing is, she gonna have to
come to your grandma house.

- The love of my life has died.

I found him in the bed dead.

- Oh, oh, my gosh.

Please, please have
a seat, have a seat.

Terribly sorry to hear that.

But you know, that
is top 10 ways to go,

you know, in your sleep.

It's one of the best ways.

- Nobody deserves to find
their loved one dead in a bed.

- I mean, not
deserves, not deserves,

but it's better than being
burned alive in an office fire

or something like that,
considering, you know.

- Where is the pastor?

- Oh, I'm Pastor Corey Carr.

Pastor Stinny's out for
the week on vacation.

- Okay, well then you
gonna have to bury him.

I need the funeral this week.

- Oh no, I feel like
you probably wanna wait till next week

when Pastor Stinny's
back, you know,

call the family from
out of town and stuff.

Next week will be better for
the church, Pastor Stinny-

- No, no, I can't wait.

He did not like
being cold for long.

Okay, he wanted to be
buried in three days.

It's the least I could do.

I have to respect his wish.

- Okay, okay.

- Take a tissue.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

- Oh.

Okay, do you know what?

I hate to make you feel
like I didn't care.

We'll definitely do
it in three days,

respect your wishes
and his wishes.

We got you.
- Okay.

- Come on sister,
it's all right.

He's just going up yonder.

That's all right.

I shall wear a crown,
he shall wear a crown.

- Dawg.

I mean, I don't do dead bodies.

And honestly, who approved that?

I mean, we supposed to be
celebrating the life of someone

and here goes a
cold, defrosting,

decomposing dead body in
the middle of the sanctuary.

- Bro, you've been to
plenty of funerals.

- Been to and done
are very different.

I didn't have to do
nothing at those.

I just stayed in the back.

- Oh, look, maybe you
should call your daddy

and see how he did it.

- Yeah, so he could be like,

"Burying a body
online ain't the same

as burying it in real life."

I don't wanna hear that mess.

- Well, here's what you can do.

You can call Stinny and tell
him that you can only preach

and you can't do any
of the other jobs

that come with being a pastor
because that's 99% of the job.

- Are you even listening?

I've never done this.

I lost my granddad
when I was like five.

Other than that,
nobody has died.

I'm not gonna feel comfortable.

I'm gonna feel
like I'm faking it.

- Boy, you think the
funeral is about you?

Dawg, it's about the family.

You just have to orchestrate it.

Go over there and
check on the family.

Or you could just call Stinny

and tell 'em you don't
know what you're doing.

Take your pick.

- Can I go like this
or should I change?

- Put on a suit.

Be a pastor.

- No blazer, though.

- See this is that online
stuff I'm talking about.

- Oh, it's all right.

The whole church
is praying for you.

- Oh, come in, come in.

- Aw.

- Baby, you're late.

- Sorry, I was attending
some other members.

- Funerals can be so hard.

Is there any program that
you want us to abide by?

- Yes, so I only want
Pastor Corey and me to talk

'cause Mama's gonna be so sad.

And everybody's gonna be there

so I wanna keep it to
immediate family only.

- Okay, and Tracy,
I want you to know

that I'm going to
kill it for you.

I mean, it's gonna be
a beautiful service.

It's gonna be just,
you're gonna be happy.

- Thank you, Pastor.

- Okay and in my years of
experience doing funerals,

I noticed that lately
a lot of families

don't actually want the body

in the sanctuary during service.

It's considered like taboo,
cliche, risque and stuff,

so is that something you
also wanted to adhere to?

- What?

No, no, I wanna open casket.

- Okay. but if it's open,

people gonna be able
to see him in there.

It's gonna be, he gonna be dead.

- Yes, yeah, yes.

- He gonna be dead.

- I know, yes.

- All right, okay,
that's perfect.

We can make sure
that they'll see him.

His eyes will be closed,

but they'll remember
when he's open.

- I thought you were bringing
like food over or something.

I don't have much in
my fridge, you know,

considering the circumstances.

- Oh, whatever you have is fine.

I mean, I haven't eaten all day.

Just a little sandwich
would be perfect.

Or some chips, you
know, or a cookie.

- I have some homemade
frozen lasagna

in my trunk.
- Perfect.

- And my famous lemon pound cake

and I'm gonna heat that
up right before I leave,

and I've also set up the
mother's board to bring you

by a meal every day
for the next two weeks.

I got you.
- Thank you.

- Yes.
- Thank you.

- Can I get a slice of that
pound cake just for the road

'cause she probably
can't eat the whole.

- What?

- Oh yeah, you should have it.

You want the whole
thing, yeah, that's fine.

I'll just stop by
somewhere on the way home.

Now, could you tell me
something about your boyfriend?

You know, I just
wanna be able to speak

to who he was as a
person for the eulogy.

- Yeah, he was so loyal,
he was loyal to me.

He wanted to marry me.
- Oh.

- He called me his
little munchkin

and he was the best
man I'd ever known.

- He sounds like an amazing guy.

I know he's in line
at the pearly gates

just missing you
so much right now.

- Oh, oh, no, baby,
it's gonna be fine.

No, no, no, don't you
worry about a thing here.

Oh God.

That's what the church is for.

We take care of
each other, baby.

- Thank you.
- Yes we do.

[door knocking]

- Yeah, may I help?

- My name is Sonny.

My man just died and I'm not
mentioned in this at all.

I don't get to speak,
I'm not even mentioned.

- Ma'am, the family has control

over the funeral arrangements.

- I will act a plumb
fool up in this church

if I walk up in here
and that's not changed.

- Ma'am.
- Uh, uh-uh, uh-uh.

That woman ain't no fool.

He had his heart
attack on top of me.

Now she wanna act brand new.

No, no, we don't
got time for that.

Do you see that
cute little picture?

I took that on my iPhone.

- Okay.

I will do my best to make
sure you feel acknowledged.

- Uh-uh.

My name better be
in that program

or the casket gonna
hit the floor.

- Okay.

- Don't play with me.

- What in the color
purple is going on here?

- Now, make sure you give
her the hip anti-reflux.

If you give her anything else,

she gonna throw it up all night.

- So can you just
tell me one more time

just in case I forget.

- Excuse me, for trying
to keep my baby alive.

What did Corey say
about the new job?

- Girl, I have been so
busy with my new position,

I haven't even had a
chance to tell him.

- And he didn't ask.

- Come to think of it, I
haven't spoken to him all week.

- You need to make sure
he don't stay in Lubbock.

- What do you mean?

- You not trying to move
to no Lubbock, right?

- Right.

- And you trying to make sure
that he comes back, right?

- Right.

- Okay, so this is
what you do, boom.

You go to Lubbock.

You throw that monkey on him.

You make him forget all about
his hopes and the dreams.

- Girl, we are
trying to do right.

- And we fall down,
but we get up.

Look, look, if you
let him settle there,

some sweet Southern
woman gonna be baking him

sweet potato pie and he gonna
bring the whipped cream.

- Kendra!

- All right, all right,
all right, I'm sorry,

but I'm just saying.

Have fun with my
baby, by the way

'cause you'll have
one pretty soon

if he slips up down there

and gets somebody pregnant.

Lawrence and Essa.

Y'all gonna be so cute.

- Have fun.

You know you could
get a new babysitter.

- Amen. Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen. Amen.

Amen, we gonna want to
thank Johnson and Johnson

Mortuary Services for
donating the casket.

Our brother couldn't
fit all the way in,

but we just thank him
for the family's sake.

He wanted to be buried quickly

and he was taller
than they thought

so we was gonna fix
it in the grave.

Now is the time that if
any family or friends

wanted to say something
on behalf of the deceased.

- Woz.

Come on man, let's go.

Hey, come on, boy, let's
go, let's get up outta here.

Boop, let's go.

- He dead.

- Come on, man, I know
you ain't dead for real.

You dead For real, for real?

He...

Oh man, what?

Oh man! No, not my dawg.

Not my dawg, man.

Not my dawg. [crying]

You ain't got one of
them nose things, bro?

Oh, this one owe be $20, man.

Oh.

Oh, the hell.

- Amen. Amen.

- Oh!

- Amen.

Grief hits everybody
differently.

As I understand the family did-

- That was my man
in the casket too

and I'm not gonna
hide it anymore.

- He meant more than me
than any of you in here

and he always let me know it.

- Okay, what you thirsty
women are not gonna do

is ruin my man's funeral.

- Ladies, if we could
just have a seat

and respect this man's family.

- I am his family,
Sonny Richardson.

I could spell it out for you
for the program if you need.

- Well, actually the
man in the casket was-

- All right, all right,
please, everyone,

can we please sit down.

Can we please sit down.

Amen?

Amen.

Just, we go, come on, yes. Amen.

We are trying to put
this brother to rest.

In his life, he loved Tracy

and I'm sure his love
spread throughout

various members of the community

and we just thank God that
he was allowed to love.

Isn't life about loving?

Sharing love and happiness.

Love and happiness,
that's all we wanna do.

So at this moment, I wanna
thank God for his life

and you know, we just
wanna bless this brother

as he passes on to paradise.

Is that all right?

- Can we please just
pray for my son?

- Yes, yes, ma'am.

If we could bow our heads.

Amen.

Oh Jesus.

Ashes to ashes, dust to
dust, in Jesus name, amen.

All right, we'll be dismissed.

There'll be a
repass in the back.

Oh my God.

Man, that was terrible.

- Yeah, man, you ain't lying.

- Man, I feel like I was
just all over the place.

Man, you saw the
family was crying.

- Oh, well, that
ain't your fault.

You know, they was at a funeral.

Funerals make people sad.

That's the dead person's fault.

- I just, I feel like
I bombed up there.

- Oh yeah, you did.

You absolutely bombed, but
you got the experience.

Look, man, your daddy was wrong,
but he wasn't wrong wrong.

I'm just saying.

Don't shoot the messenger.

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