All language subtitles for Churchy s01e02 Lubbock or Leave It.eng

We in here!
- Okay.

- We in here!

All right, bro.

Grab a pic from me real quick.

- Oh, I got you, I
got you, I got you.

- All right.

Sit pastorally.
- Okay, okay, I see you.

- Pastorally?
- Like Jakes, uh?

- Oh, Jakes-
- Now put your feet up, man.

Come on.

Hit 'em like myTop.
- Ah, okay.

- There it is, okay.
- With the Off-White.

- Boom, got you.
- Bam,

I appreciate you, my boy.

All right, to God be the glory.

One man's trash is
another man's treasure.

Lubbock, I'm here.

Ah.

- Let's turn this place out.
- We in here.

Ah!
- Well, is that...

Can, can you turn out a church?

- For, for sure.
- May I help you?

- Oh, nah, man.

We, we good.

I got my stuff
coming in tomorrow.

We gotta get rid of this desk
though 'cause what is this?

Pressed...

Pressed wood?
- Ikea.

- I mean, we gotta go to
Restoration Hardware quickly,

- Quickly?
- You know what I'm saying?

Matter, we need to clear
all that off the walls,

that old stuff, you know,

we really gotta
spice this place up.

- Oh, you wanna
spice this place up?

- Yes.

And not just this office,

I'm talking about
the entire church.

Matter of fact, this is Rodney,

the head of the
music department.

- What's up, man, I'm Rodney.

Ain't caught your name.
- Pastor Stinney.

I am the pastor of this church.

And, uh, last time I checked,
I'm the one who decides

when I'm done right here.

[no audio]

- Grandma, you said the
church ain't have no pastor.

There's a whole pastor.

- A whole pastor.
- Y'all know I'm old.

- Grandma, what am
I supposed to do?

- Just show him that you
make a good replacement.

You know, he's, he's ready
to go, I'm telling you.

[Corey groans]
Y'all welcome to stay with me

for as long as you want.

You wanna watch my
stove and eat my food.

- General Hospital or
the Boulder in Beautiful.

- He-hey, babe.

- Oh, that's Keisha.

Put that on speaker.
- Hey, baby.

- Oh, I was hoping
to catch you working

at your new church.

Babe, I'm so proud of you.

- Oh, you know what?

I'm, I'm about to head
up there right now.

- Oh, ooh, can you send me
a picture of your new office

with the name plate
I had made for you?

It's gonna make it feel so real.

- Yeah, babe, no problem.

I'll make sure to grab
that picture for you.

Hey, by the way, remember
this is just temporary, okay?

Two months tops.

- Corey, you'll be
home in no time.

Talk soon, love you.
- All right, love you too.

- Well, what is we gon' do now?

- All right, um, I'm
gonna change clothes

and I'm gonna get up
there to the church,

and somehow get him
outta that office.

You stay here and
get us settled in.

- Uh, you sure your daddy
was wrong about you?

- Why, why?
- I'm just saying.

- Why would you
say that right now?

- He said you like to
play on social media

and you running down to that
church to get a picture.

Sound to me like he was right.

Bishop, he was right.

Hey, grandma!

General Hospital, I'm coming.

[steps tapping]

- Hey, excuse me.

May I help you?
- Oh, yes.

I'm Corey Carr Jr, the
pastor's new senior consultant.

I, I was just talking to him.

He, he wanted me to tell
you to have the day off.

- Hmm.

New pastor's what now?

- Oh, you know what?

Titles aren't important.

I'm really just here to help,
you know, ease the burden.

I'm Mother Henrietta
Allen's grandson.

Yes.

And you know, she hasn't
been of the best of help,

and, and this church
is so important to her,

and therefore so
important to me, you know?

I just wanna help the man
of God, lift his arms up,

kike Aaron and Hur.

[both laughs]

- Mother Allen's been at this
church for quite some time,

so yeah, we could use your help.

- Thank you so much.
- I was just about

to take pastor's
calendar to him.

I just-
- I will do that, thank you.

- Type it up.
- Thank you so much.

I'll just run it
onto his office.

Thank you so much-
- Hey son.

- Yep?
- His office is that way.

- Oh, silly me.

I don't know my way
around you. [laughs]

God bless you.
- Uh-huh.

[steps tapping]

[door knocks]
- Come in.

Oh, it's my replacement.

Come in here to take my place.

- Listen, pastor, I know we
got off on the wrong foot

and I'm here to make that right.

First off, let me
apologize, okay?

My, my grandmother,
mother Allen,

she said there was no
pastor of this church.

So I, I just came here to help.

- Mother Allen?

Mother Allen said that.

- Yes, sir, and I didn't
want her to suffer or,

or this church to suffer,

but now I see it's in
more-than-capable hands.

So, like I said,
I'm here to help.

- Help?

Well, how so?

- Well, I know you've got
three counseling sessions today

and you've gotta visit
with a couple members

throughout the week.

You know, let me take some
of that pressure off of you.

- Yeah, you know, you gotta go

through Mother Allen for that.

- Absolutely, sir.

I already talked to her
and cleared it with her.

Look, I know how much energy
it takes to lead a ministry,

and a ministry of
this magnitude, alone?

That's a tall task
to ask for anyone.

So let me help take some
of that pressure off you.

- Eh, could use a
couple of me days,

Okay, I'll give you that.

- Thank you, sir.
- But uh,

I want you to take care of
the members of this church.

- Absolutely.
- We are a tight-knit family.

Family.

- Yes sir, I understand.

Have a good day.
- All right.

- Enjoy that rest.
- All right.

[no audio]

[no audio]

[no audio]

[Corey exhales]

Come in.

- [sighs] What's up, my nigga?

- Oh, I, I can't have
you saying that in here.

I mean, you gotta have
a little more reverence

for the house of God.

- Oh, you one of them niggas.

- Come on, man.

This is, this is
the Lord's house

- And I'm here, right?

"Come as you are."

Unless you want me to go
back outside to the streets.

- No, no, young man.
- Thank you, my nigga.

- What's up?
- My grandma dropped me off.

Told me to come
talk to the pastor.

Where's Stinney at?

- Oh, Stinney's
out for the moment.

I'm Corey, I'm not the pastor,

but I'm just, you know,
helping out around here.

What's on your mind?

- My grandma's just being weird.

- Weird, how so?

- She caught me beating my meat.

- Okay, okay.

Are you addicted to porn?

You know, a lot of
people have that issue

and it's nothing to
be ashamed about.

We can, we can work with that.

- I wasn't born in
the 1900s like y'all.

I don't need porn.

I follow Meghan Thee Stallion
and Rihanna on Instagram.

When Cardi B and Meghan
Thee Stallion dropped

their latest video on Instagram,

I decorated every
sock in my drawer.

I didn't think it was a problem,

but guess my grandma found
a couple of those socks.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

- Okay.
- So I guess

I'm going to hell now, right?

- No, look, listen,
when you're a young man,

whether it's porn or Instagram,

or man, just your
pure imagination,

we're discovering our bodies.

A lot of us have beat our meat.

- That's what I said!

I'm too young to have
sex with girls right now,

so I don't see the problem.

She popped me in my
mouth when I said,

"Well, I'm sure granddaddy
beat his meat too before."

- Okay, I would've kept
that comment, you know?

Anything done in excess
is wrong, all right?

So you discovering your body,
inherently, isn't wrong,

but if you can't control
that desire, then it is.

- Yeah, I think
I'm following you.

- And as far as your grandma
goes, look, the older you get,

the more you forget about
what it was like to be young.

She's probably worried that
if she caught you doing that,

then the only logical next
step is doing the real thing,

and we both know y'all

are not ready for that.
[both chuckle]

- Yeah.

You seem pretty cool,
you must be new here.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Because I don't really

come to this church

'cause it's just a bunch
of old niggas in here.

- What would it take for
you to start coming back?

- I don't know, stop having
so many old niggas in here

and change the songs, maybe?

- Okay, I could work with that.

Nice to meet you, my boy.
- All right.

- Pleasure.

[no audio]

[person exhales]

[no audio]

- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Whoa what?

- I ain't know SAVAGE
X FENTY made a line

for senior citizens,

but I'm seeing stuff
I shouldn't be seeing.

- Look, this is my house

and this is the way I
walk around in my house.

- Even with company?
- You ain't company.

- Please treat me like company.

Just, just let me be company.

- Look, you can
stay here rent free,

but this is what you gon' see.

Now, last I checked, I
pay the mortgage, y'all.

[chuckles and speaks
faintly] gon' tell me

how to go around-
- Corey...

- [sighs] What's up?
- Your grandma

ain't here walking around
like her name is Stella.

She trying to get
her groove back.

- What you mean?

- Dawg, she got her titties out.

Okay, she got a leopard
bra and panty set on

from Fashion Nova.

I don't know, man.

Thangs is thanging that
ain't never thanged before.

Okay, they, they beyond
thang, bro, they thong.

- She's old.

- Nah, she big.

- Rodney, come and eat, baby.

- Whew, well, bro,
I'm about to go eat.

- Hey, stop playing.
- I ain't playing with you.

What you got, Grandma?

- Nice to meet you all.

How long have you been married?

- 31 years.
- Wow, congratulations.

So, how can I help?

- Now, when you've been
married as long as we have,

sometimes things can get stale.

- But what you asking
me to do, that's just,

that's just going too far.

- Well, Charles,
let me ask you this,

does Francine make concessions
for you in the bedroom?

- Absolutely.

- Well, don't you think it's
fair to return the favor

and give her some concessions?

- Absolutely not.

- Well, come on now, Charles.

You know that's not
the way this works.

Relationships are
about give and take.

- And what you know
about relationships?

Are you married, young man?

- I'm not married
yet, but I am engaged.

- [chuckles] Ain't that sweet?

He got a little financee.

Boy, lemme tell you something.

When, when, when you
married to a woman

over 30-something years,

sometimes they can
just ask you to just,

to ju-ju-just go too far.

They just ask you
to do anything.

- Well, don't you
think that's why

you've been married for so long,

the strong bond that you have?

- Okay, well, do you even know

what it is she's
asking me to do?

- Francine, what are you
asking Charles to do?

- I want my husband
to close his eyes,

and with a giving heart,
I want him to eat my butt.

- I'm not eating
your butt, Francine.

- I have been married to
you for over 30 years,

you can't eat my butt?

- I don't even know why we
having this conversation

in front of this young man.

- I eat your butt.
- But that's something

that you enjoy, Francine.

- You know what?

Let me just see
if Pastor Stinney

has some availability next week.

I feel like this is just a
little above my pay grade,

and he probably could
be better for you, guys.

Just to make sure you
can clear this up.

- So talking about eating butt
is above your pay grade now?

- Oh yeah.

You know what?

What is that, my phone ringing?

That is crazy coincident.

Let me just...

Oh my God, family
emergency, gimme one second.

- Yo.

- Man, nothing could
have prepared me

for what I'm dealing
with right now.

- Nothing could have prepared me

for what I'm dealing
with right now.

- Man, focus.

I got two people old enough
to be my grandparents

arguing because he won't
eat his wife's butt.

- Well, maybe God's gonna
give you everything you want

after you convince that man

that he need to eat
his wife's booty.

- All right, all right,
lemme call you back.

- What? [scoffs]

[no audio]

[no audio]

[no audio]

- Listen, I seen the entire
menu at the Last Supper

and butt was not on there.

- You wasn't even
at the Last Supper.

Why you keep bringing
the Bible in our bedroom?

- Because you trying
to defile our bedroom-

- Okay.
- It can't be defiled

we married!
- Okay.

- Okay, okay, guys.

Have you ever heard of the
Red, Yellow, Green system?

- No.
- Okay, This is how it works.

Red is something
that's a hard stop,

You're not into that at all.

Yellow is something that
you might be interested in,

and green is something

that you're completely
comfortable with, okay?

You talk about that
outside the bedroom

and then you respect it
in the bedroom, okay?

And you check in once a quarter
and see how you both feel.

How does that sound?
- You're so right.

Yeah.
- It's good for me

as long as she
don't run the light.

- Oh, now we can't
play naughty cop?

- Okay, okay.
- Black Lives Matter!

- Guys, guys.

Let's just try it
for a couple of weeks

and then I'll check
in with you, okay?

How does that sound?

- Sounds good.
- Okay, okay.

Thank you so much, pastor.

- All right.
- No, I mean, thank you.

[no audio]

- Oh, I forgot to show you,

I got this name
plate made for him,

that he can finally put to
good use as senior pastor.

- Aw-
- Thank you.

- That's sweet.
[both giggle]

Look at my baby. [laughs]
- Yeah.

- Thanks for stopping by.

- Of course.

- You know, Corey Sr.
doesn't usually get home

till about 10:30 from church.

[laughs] He does not
come home that late.

- Yes, he does.

I just sit here
watching "Law and Order"

and doing my puzzles.

- I just...

[clicks tongue] I thought
that Corey would be here.

I didn't plan for Lubbock.

It's bittersweet.

- One thing about a Carr man
is they're gonna be headstrong

and the church comes first.

- So how did you maintain
yours for so long?

- Listen, I don't
want my feelings

to lead you to doubt
your situation.

You're about to be
new to marriage.

- [chuckles] Miss
Sonya, I'm coming to you

as a woman who respects you.

- Baby, this is hard some days,

to realize that you're
never gonna be number one

in your husband's life.

I love the Lord too, I do.

But I am sick of doing puzzles.

[no audio]

[person inhales]

[person giggling]

- Oh.

- Whoa!

[laughs] Mother Allen.

- Yes.
- It's been a long time

since I've seen you,

and I heard Janice have
been bothering you,

so I thought I'd come by

and bring you some of
my lemon pound cake.

It's bad for the hips, but good
for the knees, I always say.

- Jane, you didn't
have to do all that.

- Oh, don't mention it.
[Mother Allen laughs]

Your grandson came by the
church a little earlier today.

- Oh yes, Corey jumps at
the chance to help me.

- Mm.
- He knew my knee

had been acting up and all.

- Mm-hmm.
- Yes.

[Jane laughs]

- So he didn't have
a job or anything?

He could just up and
move here on a whim, huh?

- Corey always does
great financially, traveling the world,

preaching the Word of God.

Now he heard that
pastor Stinney, like, was traveling a lot

so he just wanted to come
over and help, that's all.

[both laugh]

- Ain't that something?
- Yes.

The man loves God
and his grandma.

[both laugh]

- Well, I guess I'll
just be moseying along.

I didn't wanna take up your day.

I just wanted to come
and lay my eyes on you.

All right, well,
it's good to see you,

and don't forget to eat that
lemon pound cake, all right?

- [laughs] You too, sweet Jane.

- Oh.

- Thank you for stopping by.

- Mm-hmm, God bless you.

- [chuckles] God bless you too.

[both laugh]
Ooh.

- That boy's up to something.
- That woman up to something.

- Hey, uh, Corey, this
is, uh, Pastor Stinney.

Mother Jean put a notebook

with the name and addresses

of the members
you'll be visiting.

I'm pretty straightforward.

Pick up some groceries
for one and...

- All right, here you go.

I got your groceries,
and got your takeout.

You be blessed, all right?

- Are you gonna leave
and, and not help me eat?

- Oh, where do you want
me to put the food?

- In my mouth.
- In your mouth?

[speaker sneezes]

- You sure you do this?
- I do this.

- Okay, let's do this.

[no audio]

[no audio]

- Getting my hands dirty.

Look at this, I'm
mowing the grass.

Look at the dirt, okay?

You can't just always be
sitting in your office,

reading and preaching,

you gotta get to the
grass root of the problem.

- Hey, hey!

- Get off the phone and
cut the grass, please.

- Sorry, guys.

You heard the old woman.

I gotta hurry up.

Sometimes the 1%
is not so patient.

See you guys later.
- He called me old?

- Crooked, he can't even
go in a straight line back.

- I'm about to hit him with
my cane when he come back.

- See, this is why I don't
like to write for Tamela Mann

'cause she want to give all
the royalties to Kirk Franklin.

Okay, okay.

- All right.

When I hit you, I thought
you was gonna, like, help me.

- Dawg, I am.

I'm helping you
with moral support.

Go, Corey, you
got this! [laughs]

Go crazy, bro.

- So I was already
able to walk the dock.

- Okay.

- But there is something
you could do for me.

- Sure.

- Uh, you could
pick up the poop.

- Man...

[Corey breathes]
- God's work.

- Of course, God's
work. [laughs]

God's work.

[no audio]

- Oh my God.

- Dawg, man, come
on, put it in there.

Dawg, get that-
- Ah.

- Get that, dawg.

Come on, bro.
- Ugh.

Man, bro.

How many more of
these we got left?

I'm getting wore out,

and I ain't trying to be
smelling like dog dookie.

- I think it's just one
more place, hold up.

- Mm.

- Just spend some time with her.

She lives alone,
it's pretty lonely.

She's losing her memory.

"Don't let her know we know

that she's losing her memory"?

- What's up?

- It's my grandma's house.

[no audio]

[no audio]

- Look bro, don't make
it weird, all right?

Look, we just here to make her
feel comfortable, that's it.

- But I feel like, you
know, it's my grandma.

I feel like it's gonna be
at least a little weird.

- No.

Speaking of your grandma, her
house is remarkably modern

for a woman her age.

- Yeah, she either
watches stories, or HGTV,

and spends her entire
retirement pension,

all that, on remodeling.

- Yeah, she needs to spend some
of that pension on pajamas,

full coverage, long jams.

- So she was really
just out here.

- Yeah, she was out here.

I thought it was finna be
Janet Jackson number two.

Ah, nipple gate.

Like, she was just
out in leopard.

Just cheetah.

Ah, ah, running
through the wild.

- Hey, I didn't expect to
see you boys back so soon.

- Yeah, grandma, you know,
you're one of my appointments

and I'm here to check on you.

- Oh, [giggles] nice.

Yes, well, they, they
send somebody out

to check on me once a week.

I didn't think today
was my day though.

They usually just let me talk

while we sit in the living room.

Would you all like to do that?

- Yes.

We just wanna make sure
you are comfortable.

That's all, that's it.

- Rodney.
- What?

- Rodney.

- I...

Okay, I see what's
going on here.

I'm gonna let y'all have
a grandma-grandson moment.

Okay?

[Corey laughs]

I'm out.

- That boy is crazy, I'm
telling you the truth.

[Corey chuckles]

You know, your grandfather
used to come here

and sit with me every night
a little bit before dark.

No matter how, how tired he was,

he would still come sit
with me and listen to me.

- What you guys
used to talk about?

- Everything. [laughs]

I, I told him that one day
that, uh, he would leave me

and I wouldn't have nobody
to talk to but myself.

He passed and that's
what happened.

Now, now I just come
out here by myself,

just sitting, just sitting.

- Well, I'm here now

and I'll come talk to
you anytime you want.

- You're so sweet.

Oh, you, look at you.

Y'all grown up now, you're
about to be somebody's husband.

[Corey laughs]

You won't have the
time for me, and,

and that's all right,
I, I'll understand.

It comes with getting old...

- What comes with getting old?

- Knowing your place.

Now, I, I, I've lived my
life and it was a good one.

It was good.

Now all I'm gonna do is
just sit back, serve God,

and wait to go see
my husband again.

- Okay, now listen,
that's not gonna be

for a long time now, okay?

- I love you, Corey.

You know, I know Wiley sent
you to check on me, right?

- Because you're a
member of this church

and you deserve
to be checked on.

- Oh.

I, I, I forget things, Corey.

When I'm at church, I
can remember details

and how to do my job,

but at home...

My memory just, it just-

- Hey, hey...
- Goes away.

- It's okay.

It's okay.

I'm here now.

You don't have to
remember everything.

It's okay, that's what
comes with getting older

and that's what I'm
here for, we're a team.

- I love you, Corey.

Thank you for
talking to me today.

You know, sometimes
all people need

is just a little company,

and you gave me that.

- And I'll do it every day.

I love you, grandma.
- I love you too, sweetie.

You my baby. [chuckles]

[no audio]

- Oh, hey, pastor.
- Hey y'all.

- How are you?
- All right.

I don't mind you
breaking in here to pray.

[both laugh]

I'm glad you're here.

I wanted to talk to you.

Uh, I called everyone
that you visited

and the one question
I asked was,

"Did, did Corey make
you feel comfortable?"

The overwhelming
response was yes.

- Well, I didn't know my grandma

was one of the
people on that list.

- Ah, yeah.

Well, she's a sweet woman.

She's strong, [laughs] but
sometimes the strong need

to be checked on.

You see, in order to run a
church, Corey, you have...

You have to know its members.

Your grandmother, she's family.

But everyone you see need
to feel the same love

that you have for
your grandmother.

A pastor that has a strong
bond with this congregation

will always be blessed
in the eyes of God.

Now, how can God
bless your house

if you're not taking
care of his children?

- I completely understand that.

- Well, good, good.

Now I'm gonna run
up on outta here.

I got a crock pot full of
corned beef waiting on me.

[both laugh]

I'm gonna run on
home and taste that.

- All right. [laughs]

- Thank you again.
- Thank you, sir.

- And, uh, lock up for me.

- All right, will do.

[no audio]

[Corey sighs]

[Corey exhales]

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