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1
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Why does my heart not fall in love
2
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When I see angels waiting up above?
3
00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:16,960
Why does my heart not
fall in love with you?
4
00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:20,520
Why, why, why?
5
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:25,800
Why am I lonesome and feeling blue?
6
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:30,720
All I ever wanted to say that I'll be true
7
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Why does my heart not
fall in love with you?
8
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Come on.
9
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HE PANTS
10
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Come on, Brett! You've got it. 20 more.
11
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HE STRAINS
12
00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:50,600
Brett, do you mind coming to sit down?
13
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Brett, I think we need to talk.
14
00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:57,240
Do you mind if I just finish this super set?
15
00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:59,840
You'll enjoy this talk a lot
more when my veins are popping.
16
00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:03,000
Oh! Come on, boy. You've got it.
17
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,440
Oh, come on, Brett. Oh!
18
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Can we have a talk? HE CLEARS THROAT
19
00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:13,920
Can we have a talk? HE CLEARS THROAT
20
00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:15,200
HIGH-PITCHED: Ca...?
21
00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:20,240
Was that you? Did you say something?
22
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,120
What? Er...
23
00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:24,280
No, no.
24
00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:27,560
Must have been the cat whimpering.
25
00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:31,920
Honestly, Achilles can sound like
a whiny little toddler sometimes.
26
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Yeah, he really can. Yeah.
27
00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:35,759
I actually haven't seen
him since last night.
28
00:01:35,759 --> 00:01:38,440
Achilles! Where are you, pussy?
29
00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:50,160
Listen, Brett, you're a great guy,
but I've been thinking and, erm...
30
00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:53,920
I'm really sorry.
31
00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:54,960
Hold on.
32
00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:59,800
Are you breaking up with me
when I'm basically naked?
33
00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:04,000
I could get you a T-shirt?
34
00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:10,320
Nice work. Nice work. Keep it up.
35
00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:12,120
Remember, this is your enemy.
36
00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,360
Get her, Spencer!
37
00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,520
Are you all right?
38
00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:20,240
I'm absolutely fine.
39
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:21,840
I'm actually really happy.
40
00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,079
Yeah, OK.
41
00:02:23,079 --> 00:02:25,400
I mean, would it be nice for
Dan to tell me about her new job
42
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:26,680
before a complete stranger?
43
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:30,040
Yes. Does it mean that suddenly
I'm going to be on my own
44
00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,079
after two weeks with a new baby?
45
00:02:32,079 --> 00:02:34,160
Yes.
46
00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:35,480
Am I at all prepared?
47
00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:37,920
No.
48
00:02:39,079 --> 00:02:40,720
Finish her, Spencer!
49
00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:46,680
So just to recap,
you're definitely not annoyed about it.
50
00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:48,000
No.
51
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,720
But you want that child finished?
52
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:52,000
That's correct.
53
00:02:53,079 --> 00:02:54,320
OK.
54
00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:56,079
Dad, can we take Sam out this afternoon?
55
00:02:56,079 --> 00:02:58,320
Oh, Spencer,
you know we've got the baby shower, mate.
56
00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:01,160
Can you see her another time? No. Why not?
57
00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:03,880
I've heard that Hugo might ask her out,
so I need to get there first.
58
00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:06,280
OK. I don't think it's first come,
first served.
59
00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,240
Yeah, it kind of is with these things.
60
00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:09,680
Why don't you go and ask her now?
61
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:12,360
Really? I don't think you should...
Yeah, just invite her over.
62
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:13,800
You guys can hang out in the garden.
63
00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:16,079
Spencer,
you need to strategize with these things, OK?
64
00:03:16,079 --> 00:03:19,600
I think we need to figure out some role play,
some mind map...
65
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:20,960
I'm going to do it.
66
00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:22,400
Ooh, maybe I'll suggest a picnic.
67
00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,200
Ooh, maybe you shouldn't suggest a picnic.
68
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:25,760
You sound like a nana, OK?
69
00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:28,560
Unless she likes boys who are into
Werther's Originals and crochet,
70
00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,360
then it's a total red flag. Trust me.
71
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,120
Garden, no picnic. Got it.
72
00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:37,040
You're welcome.
73
00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:41,840
Great timing. You can help me set up.
74
00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,200
I broke up with Brett.
75
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:44,960
Oh, God.
76
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,320
Are you OK?
77
00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:49,400
Yeah, I guess it's for the best, but...
78
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,720
Sorry, what are you doing? What?
79
00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:53,760
Are you already texting Courtney?
80
00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:55,000
No!
81
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,520
SENT MESSAGE TONE
82
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:59,240
Well, I needed her to get some bread,
so I thought I might as well
83
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,840
mention it as well. Right. So to be clear,
84
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:05,800
the text reads, "Get bread,
and Claire split up with Brett."
85
00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:07,560
I forgot the bread part.
86
00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:12,320
In other news,
Courtney found out about the job
87
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,480
and the fact that I only have two weeks'
leave.
88
00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,320
She took it surprisingly well.
89
00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:20,640
She's definitely still processing it,
but she said she's happy for me.
90
00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:22,760
What, and you believed her?
Well, if I'm wrong,
91
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,120
then she's a ticking time bomb
who could blow any minute.
92
00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:27,000
But she tends to be pretty honest.
93
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,280
Remember that Christmas she
opened a present from you
94
00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:31,720
and said, "I'd rather suck a
dick than use an air fryer"?
95
00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:33,960
Fair point. Well, I'm pleased for you.
96
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:36,720
And can I just say?
Thank you for the 30 seconds
97
00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:39,560
we discussed my break-up,
before moving back on to you.
98
00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:42,080
SENT MESSAGE TONE
99
00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:43,920
What does that text say? What?
100
00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:49,159
"Yes, she broke up with him.
101
00:04:49,159 --> 00:04:53,240
"Exclamation..." Exclamation mark. Thanks.
102
00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:54,840
SPENCER STRAINS
103
00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:56,880
So are you free this afternoon?
104
00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:00,600
So it looks like Claire's
split up with Brett.
105
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,160
What? Really?
106
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:03,800
Yes, really?
107
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:04,960
Yes! Get in!
108
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:06,200
Oh, my God.
109
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,480
Sorry. It's good to see women winning,
isn't it?
110
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:11,240
Just...go...women.
111
00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:12,840
Do you think that's because of me?
112
00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:14,320
God, that is such a male response.
113
00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:16,000
No, I think we had a moment at her mum's.
114
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,640
Like, it definitely felt like a moment.
115
00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,200
It had, like, a really moment-y vibe.
116
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:20,240
I think we had a moment.
117
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,400
I wish I was having a moment
where you aren't talking.
118
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:24,480
It's actually happening, Courtney.
I'm buzzing.
119
00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:25,720
I feel like I've got a semi,
120
00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:28,400
like an emotional semi that
makes my dreams come true.
121
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:31,560
Never utter those words to me ever again.
Do you understand?
122
00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:32,880
Yeah.
123
00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:39,360
So,
I guess now you've only got the simple task
124
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:40,960
of splitting up with Megan.
125
00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:46,200
I'm emotionally flaccid again.
126
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:47,480
Ugh!
127
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:52,400
Come on, Jonathan. You can do it this time.
128
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:58,800
I have it within me to overcome
any challenges I might face.
129
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,880
I am right where I need to be.
130
00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:03,600
I am RIGHT where I NEED to BE!
131
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,480
RIGHT where I need to be.
132
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,400
I am right where...
133
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,880
Oh, hey, Megan. How did you...?
134
00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:11,720
How did you know I was here?
135
00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:13,680
I could see and hear you
outside of the window.
136
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:14,840
Oh, right, yeah.
137
00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:16,920
Erm, listen,
I need to talk to you about something.
138
00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,280
Yeah, well, before you do,
139
00:06:18,280 --> 00:06:20,600
can I just tell you that Achilles is dead?
140
00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:25,080
It's another wind-up, isn't it?
You're not going to get me again.
141
00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,800
I'm not joking this time, Jonathan.
142
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:29,640
My cat died.
143
00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:33,560
Oh, my God. Erm... Yeah. ..how?
144
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:37,040
He got in a fight with a fox,
and he lost big time.
145
00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:39,800
I've been spending the morning
picking up pieces of him,
146
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,080
all over the garden.
147
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:44,960
Jesus. Were you trying to
reassemble him or something?
148
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,360
No, I wasn't trying to reassemble my cat,
Jonathan.
149
00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,800
Sorry, I don't know why I said that.
Listen, Megan...
150
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,159
Theo found his tail in the guttering,
and then he said,
151
00:06:52,159 --> 00:06:54,400
"Oh, just really want to go
and live with my dad now,"
152
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:56,080
so I'm kind of a woman on the edge.
153
00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:57,320
Yeah, I bet.
154
00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:00,760
So, erm... And I know he was just a cat.
155
00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:02,520
He was just always there,
156
00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:05,960
and now his blood is all
over the French windows.
157
00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:10,360
Yeah, I mean, that is incredibly bleak.
158
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:13,200
Sorry. Come in. I could do with a cuddle.
159
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:17,720
Well, I would love to, but it's just
I've got Courtney's baby shower,
160
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:19,960
so if I could just sort of...
161
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,920
Yeah. God, yeah, of course.
162
00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:24,160
Actually, can I come along?
163
00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:26,360
Sorry, what?
I know it sounds a bit pathetic,
164
00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:28,880
but I don't really want
to be alone at the moment.
165
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:31,960
And, yeah,
I suppose it'd be a good distraction
166
00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:34,760
from clearing up animal remains.
167
00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:38,159
Well, er, Claire's going to be there, so...
168
00:07:38,159 --> 00:07:40,400
Well, that actually might be perfect.
169
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:43,880
Would it? Yeah, because you bottled
telling her about us in Yorkshire,
170
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:47,200
so maybe if I'm there,
I could sort of boost up your confidence,
171
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,360
have your back? You know?
172
00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,920
If there's one thing the death
of Achilles has taught me,
173
00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:55,200
it's that life is so short, Jonathan.
174
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:57,120
Erm, yeah, that is... Come here.
175
00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,200
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God.
176
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:00,400
Mm!
177
00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:10,200
You are definitely OK with me
taking my dream job, aren't you?
178
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:13,120
Well, you could argue that
continually labelling it a dream job
179
00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:15,520
gives me very little
emotional room for manoeuvre.
180
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:17,160
But, yes, I'm fine.
181
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:22,520
Look, I need a favour. Oh, let me guess.
182
00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:25,920
You've done something
idiotic and easily avoidable,
183
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,640
and you want us to lie and bail you out.
184
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:31,040
Well, I want to say no,
but you've pretty much nailed it, OK?
185
00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,640
I may have invited Megan.
Weren't you going to break up with her?
186
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:36,120
Yes, but her cat died.
187
00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:37,960
Can we just skip the judgment part, OK?
188
00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:39,400
It's the end of the fucking world.
189
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,480
Well,
good to know you have things in perspective.
190
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,880
Megan wants me to tell Claire.
But Claire and I had a moment,
191
00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:46,360
I think I'm going to end things with Megan,
so what's the point
192
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,680
in telling Megan if I've got
a thing going on with Claire?
193
00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:51,040
And what I don't want to happen
is for Megan to tell Claire,
194
00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:53,480
"I've been sleeping with Jonathan,"
and then Claire goes,
195
00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:54,800
"I had a moment with Jonathan."
196
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:57,520
"You had a moment with Jonathan
while I was sleeping with Jonathan?
197
00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:58,880
"I don't think I like Jonathan."
198
00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:00,960
Then Claire goes,
"I don't think I like Jonathan,"
199
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,960
and then I die alone and live here forever.
200
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,960
So please, will you help me keep them apart?
201
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,880
Sorry, I stopped listening at "Cat died."
202
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:11,480
Dan, will you help me? Yeah, of course.
203
00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:13,480
That's the whole reason I threw this shower.
204
00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:15,960
OK, well, I know that's sarcasm,
but I'm just going to take it.
205
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:17,600
I mean, you could just talk to Claire...
206
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,120
Oh, my God, that's Megan.
207
00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:21,960
Oh! Hi, Megan. Good afternoon.
208
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:23,960
Good afternoon, Jonathan. SHE CHUCKLES
209
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:25,280
Oh, erm...
210
00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:27,640
You haven't told her yet, have you?
I haven't told her, no.
211
00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:29,440
I know, I know, I know, but it's difficult.
212
00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:32,000
That's OK. I'll help you find a moment.
Until then, I'll just,
213
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,280
I don't know,
become her best friend or something.
214
00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:36,840
You really don't... You don't need to...
Chill out, would you?
215
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:38,560
I'm actually an amazing actress.
216
00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:39,720
OK.
217
00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,000
Good afternoon, Jonathan.
Is that you doing the...?
218
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,560
Yeah. Well, let me warm up.
219
00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:46,680
Just, I think smaller...
Yeah, yeah, chill, chill, chill.
220
00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:48,720
So, how are you feeling?
221
00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:50,840
Yeah, I'm fine. It's OK.
222
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,800
It was for the best.
223
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,440
He was too... Good-looking.
224
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:57,320
What? No. Simple?
225
00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:01,040
No. I was going to say too keen.
226
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,240
You'd think it would be the other way round.
227
00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:06,520
Yes, Courtney,
I'm aware you thought I was punching.
228
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:09,720
Wait, is that Megan from Spencer's school?
229
00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:13,840
Er, yep. What's she doing here?
Are you mates?
230
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:17,000
No. No, I've never met her.
231
00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:21,760
Erm, truth is,
I shouldn't really be telling you this,
232
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:25,240
but Megan is writing a
book on family structures.
233
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,080
I met her at the fundraiser,
234
00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:30,800
and she's here as a case
study on same-sex parents.
235
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:34,800
Erm...she wants to keep it quiet.
236
00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:38,000
Oh, right.
237
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,040
Sorry, what?
238
00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,800
I'm just going to go say hello.
239
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:42,320
No, no, absolutely do not do that.
240
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:43,800
Just stay here.
241
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:45,680
Cameron. Sam. Lovely to see you.
242
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:48,080
Everything all right?
No, not really. Come through, Sam.
243
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,720
Oh, sorry to hear that, mate. Divorce.
244
00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,160
Sorry? Tough time.
245
00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:54,200
Yes, I can imagine. Yeah.
246
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,040
She won't even look at me.
247
00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:57,400
Sorry?
248
00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:58,920
She won't even look at me.
249
00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:02,120
Ever since you came over and started
talking about your weird film.
250
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:05,120
Yeah, I don't remember exactly what was said,
but I've got to...
251
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:06,760
I just feel really alone.
252
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:11,520
I don't know how to cook. OK.
Having potatoes every day.
253
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:14,280
Potatoes are nice. Not for breakfast. Oh.
254
00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:16,680
I just really need someone to talk to,
255
00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:19,800
like another dad that's been through this,
you know? Sure.
256
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:22,240
Well, look, good luck with that.
Take care, mate.
257
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:24,240
Well, I...
258
00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:25,760
HE SIGHS
259
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:29,240
It's great that you and
Spencer get on so well.
260
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:31,800
Yeah, he's really sweet. Sweet?!
Like, in a cool way sweet, right?
261
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:34,360
Right, like he's, you know,
he's sort of fly?
262
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,880
Not fly, but attractive?
263
00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:38,800
Not attractive,
but he's kind of got a dope flex.
264
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:40,760
What? Forget about it.
265
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:42,720
Spencer, look who's here.
266
00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:44,440
Oh, wow. That is, erm...
267
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:46,880
That is a strong look, isn't it? Dad!
268
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:49,200
I think you look cute.
269
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,240
Yeah, OK. Well, I'd better dash.
270
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:54,720
So, what do you want to do?
271
00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:56,440
Shall we watch Mean Girls? Yeah!
272
00:11:57,680 --> 00:11:59,880
So, you're an author?
Of my own destiny, sure.
273
00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:02,600
We all have that within us...
Claire, I need a word, please.
274
00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:04,280
Oh, Jonathan, do you know Megan?
275
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,360
No. Yeah, we do.
276
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:07,520
No. Do we?
277
00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:10,200
We do sort of know...
From where or how, though.
278
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:12,840
I don't... Wouldn't it be when
you bought him at the auction?
279
00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:16,240
Oh, yes, the auction.
You did... I bought you at an auction!
280
00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:19,000
Yeah, but we never really followed it up.
Left it there. We are mad.
281
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,320
Yeah, it was just a one-off
thing that sort of ended
282
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,520
at the fundraiser.
Claire, can I have a quick word?
283
00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:27,120
What? I'm worried that Spencer's
about to get his heart broken.
284
00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:29,400
He's about to go and... Oh, hey again.
285
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,800
Hi! Hi, Megan. You're here.
286
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:35,200
Yes, I was just thinking that I
think maybe now would be a good time
287
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,400
for us all to chat. I don't know, chinwag?
288
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:41,120
Oh, well, actually,
Claire and I were kind of in the middle
289
00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:42,720
of a chat, so...
290
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,720
Right. Good, good.
291
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:47,320
Don't mind me. I'm invisible.
292
00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:49,040
Just treat me like a ghost.
293
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:54,160
She's quite odd, isn't she?
294
00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,080
Jonathan, you're being quite odd.
295
00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:57,440
What, am I?
296
00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,960
Maybe it's because I'm worried
about Spencer's heart being broken
297
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:02,280
into a million pieces.
Why would you think that?
298
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:07,400
Well, because I think Sam's twatty
parents might actually be correct.
299
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:09,360
He's probably in the friendzone.
300
00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:11,040
Well, how do you know?
301
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,760
It wasn't long ago you thought
she was going to Euphoria him.
302
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:16,560
Well, that's before I processed
the fact that he's my son,
303
00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:19,200
and so he's destined to move
from friendzone to friendzone
304
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:22,000
until he eventually find someone
with low enough self-esteem
305
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,400
to take pity on him, date him,
and then have a child with him.
306
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,240
Oh, well done.
You managed to insult all three of us there.
307
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,520
I'm sorry, but it's true, OK?
308
00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:32,080
And do you know the only thing
that's worse than being in
309
00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:35,080
the friendzone? The humiliation
of letting them know you thought
310
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,680
it might be more than friends.
It's horrible.
311
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:41,600
Well, that is a fascinating
insight into your mind, Jonathan.
312
00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:43,840
We can't always protect him.
313
00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,640
It's not healthy for any of us.
314
00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:48,560
Besides, wasn't protecting him
315
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:51,080
the reason you didn't
want to get back together?
316
00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:54,000
SHE SIGHS
317
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,720
Are you OK? Yeah.
318
00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:01,360
I'm sure Courtney told you.
I broke up with Brett.
319
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,280
No.
320
00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:05,440
Yeah. Yeah.
321
00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:07,720
I'm sorry it didn't work out.
322
00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:09,040
Yeah, well...
323
00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:11,960
..I'm not.
324
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,880
So...I guess that means...
325
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:20,120
..we're both single now.
326
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,240
Yes, I guess we are, yeah.
327
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,280
Which does kind of...
328
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,880
..make you think, doesn't it?
329
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:31,520
Yeah, it does.
330
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:34,560
GUITAR PLAYS
331
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:36,440
Shitting hell, Jonathan,
I can hear a guitar.
332
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:37,600
Get in there!
333
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,840
Spencer, you're on the,
er, you're on the guitar.
334
00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:42,000
Not seen you playing that in a while.
335
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,840
What are you doing? Sorry to interrupt.
336
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:46,080
We need to have a quick chat, mate. Urgent.
337
00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:49,320
Sort of quick.
Yes, probably more of a lads' chat.
338
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,120
Is it? Where will you be?
339
00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:53,400
Back at the party. What, are you my handler?
340
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,440
Well,
do you not think that you should be with Sam?
341
00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:56,760
BOTH: Why?
342
00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:58,800
Well, because...
343
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:00,680
..er...
344
00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:02,680
..erm...
345
00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:05,040
I can't think of anything
that isn't potentially sexist.
346
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:07,680
All right, come on, Spencer, let's go.
Sorry. OK.
347
00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,800
Dad, you're being super weird.
348
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:16,520
Were you about to sing to her?
349
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:19,400
Maybe. But can't you only play Wild Thing?
350
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,400
Spencer,
I don't really know how to say this,
351
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:26,400
but has it ever occurred to
you that she might just say no?
352
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:27,960
Why would she say no?
353
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:31,840
Well, because she thinks you're just mates.
354
00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:34,840
Really?
355
00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:36,000
Maybe. Like...
356
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:40,360
Maybe just bide your time and then
wait to see if she gives you a sign
357
00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:42,800
that she's actually interested. But she has.
358
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:46,080
I'm always the first person
she goes to with gossip.
359
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:47,920
A different sign, Spencer.
360
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:49,440
A very different sign.
361
00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:51,640
Why have you done your hair like this,
by the way?
362
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:53,160
I think she likes it.
363
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:57,120
I mean, it's completely solid.
I think it might be bulletproof.
364
00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:58,680
Claire!
365
00:15:58,680 --> 00:15:59,920
Saved you a little chez.
366
00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:02,720
Oh, Claire, I think Dan actually
wants you to sit down this end,
367
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:04,960
so let me just...
There's no space down here.
368
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:07,120
Yeah, of course there is.
What are you talking about?
369
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:08,480
Do you mind just sort of...?
370
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:10,800
Yeah, it's OK. Thank you.
371
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,680
Let me just...
372
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,000
See? There you go.
373
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,280
What are you doing?
374
00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:17,760
I just, you know, I thought you
and Amy would get on like a house
375
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:20,960
on fire, so... Yeah, well, that's fantastic,
376
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,440
but this is Anna.
377
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,920
Oh, right, I meant... Pippa.
378
00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:28,160
I don't even think there is an Amy, actually.
OK.
379
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:29,560
I have a saying.
380
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:32,360
Raising a baby is a three-man job.
381
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:35,080
LAUGHTER
382
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:37,280
Or woman.
383
00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:40,920
I'm quite fun like that,
but also deadly serious.
384
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:43,560
Will the parents be helping out at all?
385
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,120
Er, nope. They hate kids. Oh!
386
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:48,000
Mine are dead, so, unlikely.
387
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,360
Oh, for fuck's sake!
388
00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:53,080
But I'm sure it will just
take a bit of adjustment.
389
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:55,040
Says the one going back to work.
390
00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:58,360
Court, you've got to find a bit of me-time.
391
00:16:58,360 --> 00:16:59,960
Please promise me you'll do that.
392
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:04,640
I spent those first six months
going slowly mad, honestly,
393
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:07,760
just a never-ending loop of shitting,
sleeping, feeding,
394
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,480
shitting, sleeping, feeding.
395
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:11,640
Argh! You know, kill me now.
396
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:15,359
Then there's the nursery.
Nursery! Nursery! Gets worse.
397
00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:18,839
Awful. It's just like a nonstop
trail of disease and destruction
398
00:17:18,839 --> 00:17:20,280
after that... Yes, yes.
399
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:23,000
I swear to God,
I was never sick before Emmy,
400
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,200
and then it's flu, nits, anal worms.
401
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,760
She knows what I'm talking about.
402
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,560
Honestly, those places are deathtraps.
403
00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:32,400
Guys, I'm sure there are
some positives as well. Hmm!
404
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:37,880
Erm... Er...
405
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:40,680
Jonathan, please...?
406
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:44,040
Oh, yeah. I mean, you know, I loved it.
407
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:45,440
Oh!
408
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:50,200
I remember when Spence
was struggling to sleep,
409
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:53,880
and Claire was nearly in tears
from the pain of feeding him,
410
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:59,160
and it was 3.00am,
and we just basically teamed up
411
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:05,320
and stepped up for each other.
It was, erm... It was amazing.
412
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:10,600
So you were up at 3.00am and Claire
was crying through nipple pain?
413
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:13,040
Great. Does anybody else
have anything to add?
414
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:15,600
I don't know. Vaginal prolapse, perhaps?
415
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:17,080
Oh, yes. That happened to me.
416
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:19,160
My surgeon had to thumb it back up...
417
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:21,440
OK, I think that is enough table time.
418
00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:23,880
Let's go and play a game,
preferably in silence.
419
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:26,240
Games, yes,
although maybe not the silence part.
420
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:27,560
I do tend to talk.
421
00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:33,080
Oh, oh, oh!
422
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:34,760
I don't think so.
423
00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:36,160
And go!
424
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,560
Fiddly little fucker, aren't you?
425
00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:44,160
Oh! Erm...
426
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:48,440
Yes!
427
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:49,520
Oh!
428
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:51,600
Oh, Courtney!
429
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:52,920
I'm fine.
430
00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:58,320
Jonathan, let's see what game you brought.
431
00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,160
I've actually done a quiz.
432
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,120
Oh! Original.
433
00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:03,800
MEGAN: I love quizzes!
434
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:07,000
And it is called - wait for it -
435
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,360
Mummy Mastermind.
436
00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:11,760
Woohoo! I actually want to kill myself.
437
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:13,440
The pressure is on.
438
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:14,720
OK, question one.
439
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,640
How do you remove the umbilical cord stump?
440
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:20,760
Stump? It's not a fucking tree, Jonathan.
441
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,560
You let it fall off naturally.
442
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:24,280
See? This is fun, isn't it?
443
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:27,360
In what position should your baby sleep?
444
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:28,480
Easy.
445
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:31,440
That is easy, actually, yes. On its front.
446
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:33,400
Front? Oh, my God.
447
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:36,160
I sleep on my front.
He's probably going to do the same, isn't he?
448
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:41,400
I think they tend to say back,
just for sort of breathing purposes.
449
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,520
Lucky you'll be there, Dan!
450
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:46,800
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
451
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,160
Oh, no, no, no. This is great.
452
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,480
I'm having...
Oh, no, we're having a really good time.
453
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,640
I've got loads of questions. Sh.
454
00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:54,080
Erm...
455
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:57,680
When is it safe to feed the child honey?
456
00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,280
MEGAN: Oh, easy. That's so easy.
457
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:00,640
I don't know.
458
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:01,960
BOTH: After a year!
459
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:05,560
How do you tell if your baby has tongue-tie?
460
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,040
What's tongue-tie?
461
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:08,800
Usually when it's struggling to feed.
462
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:11,200
Think someone's got a tongue-tie right here.
463
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:14,160
She's not good. She's not good at this.
464
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:16,760
How many times a day does
a baby poo its nappy?
465
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,160
I don't know. Twice.
466
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:20,240
MEGAN: No! Twice! You'll be lucky!
467
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,640
Dan, I think you might need
some more parental leave.
468
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:24,120
This one definitely needs it.
469
00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:26,560
Honestly! Have you read any of the books?
470
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:28,160
You do not have a chance.
471
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,760
"What are NCT classes?"
What it is it, The Jungle Book?
472
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:33,280
We're just going to throw it out
into the jungle and the wolves
473
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:35,800
will bring it up. Is that it?
Is that what you're doing?
474
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,920
Is that what you're thinking? Fuck off!
475
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,360
Oh!
476
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,000
I'll be back.
477
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,280
WTF just happened?
478
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:50,320
Last question - did Courtney like the quiz?
479
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:51,920
I don't think so.
480
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:53,840
I think you should go and check on them.
481
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:56,000
Yeah, OK, well,
I'm going to go see what's goin...
482
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,120
I think everybody should just
sort of stay in their seats
483
00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:00,480
for the sake of Dan and Court.
No mingling at all.
484
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:01,840
OK, bye.
485
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:12,360
GIGGLING AND CHATTER
486
00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:13,960
HORN HONKS
487
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:15,520
Bye!
488
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,080
Dad! Guess what?
489
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:23,120
First guess -
you are re-enacting an 1830s courtship.
490
00:21:23,120 --> 00:21:24,600
Sam said yes!
491
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,080
I've got a girlfriend!
492
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:27,640
You've got a girlfriend?
493
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:30,120
What about what we talked about? Erm...
494
00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:32,280
You didn't listen to a word I said, did you?
495
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:34,200
Don't be annoyed. It's just....
496
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:38,480
..your answer to everything is
just wait and see what happens,
497
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:42,120
and I really wanted her to be my girlfriend,
so I thought,
498
00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:44,920
I don't know, I'd just ask.
499
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:46,680
And she said yes!
500
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:49,080
I can't believe you've got a girlfriend.
501
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:52,200
Yeah! You've got a girlfriend!
I know! You've got a girlfriend.
502
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:54,680
Yeah! You've got a girlfriend!
I've got a girlfriend!
503
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:56,120
Oh, my God. Megan.
504
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,480
Dad.
505
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:03,520
But you have to move on, Claire.
You have to, because if you don't...
506
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:05,480
What are you guys talking about?
507
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:07,640
Er, cats. Achilles.
508
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:10,000
Oh, right.
That's not what it sounded like you were...
509
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:11,600
..you were talking about, so...
510
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,400
Oh, Jonathan.
511
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:15,200
SHE GROANS I'm stressed.
512
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,080
Can we just...? Can we just talk openly?
513
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:19,080
Can we, please? What? Why?
514
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:22,160
Sorry, what? No. What's going on?
515
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:25,080
There is nothing going on, is there, at all?
516
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,920
I just feel that you should... I should...
517
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:31,440
We should just share our stories openly.
518
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:32,720
Truthfully.
519
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:36,600
Oh, is this a...? Is this about your book?
520
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,720
Because you do know I'm not a lesbian.
521
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:41,400
I'm not a lesbian either.
I mean, this is a silly conversation.
522
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:44,240
I mean, I think you're probably
stressed out about the cat thing.
523
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:45,960
I don't know a lot about it,
524
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:48,400
but maybe we should just sort
of break off and have a chat...
525
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,120
Jonathan, you've got one chance
to tell me what's going on here.
526
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:55,280
Erm...
527
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:01,800
Oh, my God.
528
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,360
Are you two..?
529
00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:10,000
Really?
530
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:14,040
What?!
531
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:15,960
HE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY
532
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:19,120
No! That's mad!
533
00:23:19,120 --> 00:23:22,200
That's crazy! Yeah, no, that is crazy.
534
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:23,960
That's crazy. Sorry.
535
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:25,640
Sorry, Megan. No offence.
536
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:27,040
HORN HONKS
537
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:28,680
I think your cab's here, so...
538
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:30,560
Yeah. Nice to see you.
539
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:32,320
Lovely to see you too.
540
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:36,160
As if! BOTH LAUGH
541
00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:40,320
Court! I'm fine.
542
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:42,080
Yeah, I know.
543
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:46,080
It's just all too much, Dan.
544
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:50,240
All of the baby questions and
the moaning and the baby facts.
545
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:53,760
I mean,
how am I supposed to know all of this stuff?
546
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:56,400
You could have read one of
the baby books that I...
547
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,600
You were supposed to be my book!
548
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:03,280
Remember,
you said that we would be in this together
549
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,120
like Thelma and Louise,
550
00:24:05,120 --> 00:24:07,320
but I am flying off the fucking cliff
551
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,080
and there is no-one in the seat beside me.
552
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:11,520
Is this about the job?
553
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:14,200
Of course it's about the fucking job!
554
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:17,560
You're going to be off having
the most amazing, exciting time,
555
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:19,720
and I'm just going to be at home
556
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:23,680
learning how to fucking
remove an umbilical stump.
557
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:26,800
Remember,
you don't actually have to remove it. It's...
558
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:28,520
Never mind.
559
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:33,440
Oh, I've got an idea. Let's just run away.
560
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:37,320
What? Really? Mm-hm.
561
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:40,440
I mean, I don't know whether you
can legally run away from a baby.
562
00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:42,680
No, I meant the baby shower.
563
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,080
Oh. It's all getting too much.
564
00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:48,600
Let's just...
Let's just go to a spa or something.
565
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:50,560
But what about all of our stuff?
566
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:53,120
We'll just wear bathrobes
all weekend and no baby talk.
567
00:24:53,120 --> 00:24:55,360
No baby talk? Nope.
568
00:24:55,360 --> 00:24:56,800
What do you say?
569
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:58,120
Thelma and Louise?
570
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,960
Thelma and Louise.
571
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:04,520
I actually hate that film.
572
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:10,600
Brett.
573
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,400
I made it. For you.
574
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:18,520
Oh!
575
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:22,560
It's a...carving.
576
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:24,480
Of you.
577
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:26,000
Of me? Yeah.
578
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,040
Is that what you think I look like?
579
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:29,760
Yeah.
580
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:34,840
Look, Megan, I think you're an
amazing person, I really do.
581
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:40,040
And I feel... Here we go.
Well, I feel... Melting my heart. Go on.
582
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:45,000
I mean, I guess there comes a
time when you sort of have to
583
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:49,080
assess the direction in which you're headed,
you know, get a read on it.
584
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:55,120
And, well, I feel really lucky to have,
you know, done stuff,
585
00:25:55,120 --> 00:25:59,440
you know... Stuff! Well, you know,
like hang out and stuff, you know.
586
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:01,440
Oh, my God, are you...?
587
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:03,040
We're not going to do stuff here.
588
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:05,360
It's your sister's baby shower, you pervert!
589
00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:08,760
No, I know. I'm not suggesting that.
I mean, like, yeah, but...
590
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:11,080
..no! No, that's absolutely not...
591
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:13,880
That's not what I was suggesting at all.
Cool!
592
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:16,640
Just... Erm...
593
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:20,680
I admit at times I might
have come on a bit strong.
594
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:23,560
You mean by trying to force
a meeting with my child
595
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:25,920
and reupholstering my sofa?
596
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:28,840
Yeah, I'll be honest,
the sofa thing I still don't understand.
597
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:30,560
Like, was it the material?
598
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:31,960
Oh, my...
599
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:35,920
Well, I guess what I'm trying to say is,
if you consider things
600
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:41,120
in the round,
if you think of us as two ships...
601
00:26:41,120 --> 00:26:44,520
Oh, my God, Jonathan, just speak normally.
602
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:50,160
I want us to break up,
is-is the thing that I was trying to say,
603
00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:55,040
and that is the situation
as it currently stands,
604
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:56,960
and will do, going forward.
605
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:04,560
And so you've invited me to
your sister's baby shower,
606
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:07,360
after my cat has died, to tell me that?
607
00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:10,520
In my defence, the cat died and
then I felt like you wanted to come
608
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,640
to the baby shower as some sort
of way of getting over the death.
609
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:17,120
Hush. The way you've behaved today
has been a shitshow, by the way,
610
00:27:17,120 --> 00:27:19,880
and I know you think that
by avoiding saying anything
611
00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:22,600
that might upset someone,
that you're being kind.
612
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:25,360
But let me assure you that
it's actually the opposite,
613
00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:27,960
because this is, this not kind, Jonathan.
614
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:32,760
Oh, well,
don't have a nervous breakdown about it.
615
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:34,160
That's so boring.
616
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,560
Anyways, it's fine. I'm sleeping with Brett.
617
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:38,720
Sorry, what?
618
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:39,880
No, I'm joking.
619
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:42,360
Trying to lighten the mood. Jesus.
620
00:27:43,360 --> 00:27:44,640
Claire...
621
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:47,760
..I love you.
622
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:49,080
And I want you back.
623
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:53,480
That's so sweet...
624
00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:58,040
..but I can't.
625
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:02,600
What do you mean, you can't?
626
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:03,760
I'm sorry.
627
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:07,040
I can't because...
628
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:12,480
..I need to talk to Jonathan.
629
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:15,680
Yeah. Thank you.
630
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:23,760
Well, Jonathan,
I've had a really lovely day.
631
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:25,120
Yeah!
632
00:28:27,360 --> 00:28:29,040
I'm going to miss this.
633
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:41,080
What the fuck?
634
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:44,560
You were the one
635
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:46,680
The one I cherished
636
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:48,640
Never thought I'd be alone
637
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:54,480
Nobody else could have seen it
638
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:57,560
I turned my head and you were gone
639
00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:02,560
Time and again, I carried on
640
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:06,000
With an ache in my head, but you
641
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,160
Oh, with a smile on your face
642
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:09,880
You play it cool...
643
00:29:09,930 --> 00:29:14,480
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