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1
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So, um, thank you very much for...
2
00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:12,000
..for last night.
3
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Mm-hm.
4
00:00:13,120 --> 00:00:15,640
And if you really want to thank me for sex,
you should send a card.
5
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:19,280
Something like, "Thinking of you...naked."
6
00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,880
It's a good business idea.
It's not a bad idea. Mm-hm.
7
00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:23,160
But, I mean, it was, um...
8
00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:25,440
..it was OK, right?
9
00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:28,240
Like, you know, like normal?
Like, not worse than...
10
00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:30,840
Are you asking me to compare your
performance to my other lovers?
11
00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:33,520
God, no.
I mean, you know, unless it's positive.
12
00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:38,920
If I was to give you a review,
I would say better than Danny,
13
00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:40,560
but not as good as Trent.
14
00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:42,240
Ah, Trent.
15
00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:44,320
Pfft, you know? And then, ah!
16
00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:45,960
Like, agh! Yeah.
17
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:47,800
No, OK. I'm joking.
18
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:49,600
Danny was also really good.
19
00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:51,240
Right. I'm joking again.
20
00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:53,040
Oh, God, it's like a roller-coaster, this.
21
00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:55,360
You were great. Could you not tell?
22
00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,200
You were so great. It was great.
23
00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:00,280
It was lovely. I loved it. OK.
24
00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:02,800
I... I was thinking we should
probably keep quiet about this,
25
00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:04,720
you know, at least for a while.
26
00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:07,480
Oh, right, well,
I should probably stop the live stream, then.
27
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:10,320
I know you're joking,
but my anxiety still did spike a little bit
28
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,320
when you said that. No, I get it. I get it.
29
00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:14,200
I'll just be your...
30
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:15,800
..your dirty little secret.
31
00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:17,520
What? No, no, absolutely not.
32
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That's not what I meant by that at all.
I get it.
33
00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:21,760
COCKNEY ACCENT: I'm just a hole to you,
34
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I may as well be a golf course.
35
00:01:24,039 --> 00:01:26,400
I'll just be a little
piece of shit on the side.
36
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:28,240
I don't mean anything.
37
00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:31,320
I'm just a corpse, for gentlemen's delight.
38
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:37,440
Loads of my clients with
kids say the same thing.
39
00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:39,200
Mm... Everything is fine until they realise
40
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,120
they have incompatible parenting styles.
41
00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:43,840
Yeah, well, I think my parenting
style is resenting what's happening
42
00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:46,000
to my body. That's a good one.
43
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:50,960
Well, I think my parenting style
is going to be gentle parenting.
44
00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:53,440
I'd love you to read this book, please.
45
00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:56,360
OK, I'll just add this to my to-do list,
46
00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:58,840
along with my pelvic floor exercises
47
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:02,360
and looking how much my giant
nipples have grown today.
48
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:05,200
Yeah. Hey, listen, I hear you.
49
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,160
I understand that you were struggling
50
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,240
with your bizarrely giant nipples.
51
00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:10,960
OK?
52
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,320
When this baby arrives, I promise you,
53
00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:16,360
you can relax and I'll take care of you.
54
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:20,440
Hmm. That's actually really lovely.
55
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,640
And that is gentle parenting.
56
00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:23,920
SHE CHUCKLES
57
00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:25,800
Right, better dash.
58
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,840
I'm meeting THE Professor Gillespie.
59
00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:30,560
Oh, yes, baby. Ha-ha!
60
00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:32,400
I'm buzzing. Oh, wow.
61
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,480
She sounds cool!
62
00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:35,920
Is she an actual professor?
63
00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:38,520
Yes, big nips, she is.
64
00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:40,960
And all that posting on her wall
has paid off because she wants
65
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:42,240
to meet me and chat to me.
66
00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:43,960
I'm going to make her my best friend.
67
00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:45,040
OK?
68
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,040
Mwah. I love you. Read the book.
69
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:56,000
SHE SIGHS
70
00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:00,880
Oh, my God.
Thank you so much for signing my book.
71
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,080
It's been really lovely to chat with you,
Dan.
72
00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:05,160
I know.
It's been fucking amazing, hasn't it?
73
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,800
I mean, amazing in a professional, cool way.
74
00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:09,840
I love gigs. Do you like gigs?
75
00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,240
Maybe we could...
Dan, shall we get down to business?
76
00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:15,040
Sure. Hey, before we start,
do you mind if I take a shelfie?
77
00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:17,600
"Shelfie"! Ha-ha-ha!
78
00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:20,600
Did you hear that?! I just said "Shelfie"!
79
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:21,680
That's hilarious.
80
00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:23,520
I meant "selfie." Ha-ha!
81
00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:25,040
Let's not.
82
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:29,280
Actually, Dan, the reason I wanted
to meet you was because we need
83
00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:32,240
someone like you,
with your passion for my work,
84
00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,079
to join my research team.
85
00:03:34,079 --> 00:03:36,560
Oh, my God. Are you serious?
86
00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:38,079
Oh, my God, I'm going to pass out.
87
00:03:38,079 --> 00:03:40,040
Yes, I need this energy.
88
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:41,480
Ha-ha... Yes!
89
00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:44,480
Well, this energy minus 10%.
90
00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,320
It's going to be a time commitment,
91
00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:49,079
so I will confirm details with
my assistant and I'll give
92
00:03:49,079 --> 00:03:50,120
you a call tonight.
93
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,120
When you say "time commitment,"
do...do you...?
94
00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:53,640
It is a full-time salaried position,
95
00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:55,880
so we'd need somebody
in the office every day.
96
00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:58,400
So think it through and let
me know as soon as possible.
97
00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,240
Yeah. Mm? I will do.
98
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:03,560
I can't foresee any major
obstacles or life events
99
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,240
that would be an issue.
100
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:06,320
SHE SUCKS TEETH
101
00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:07,840
Agh! Ha-ha!
102
00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:09,320
Ugh, you're so great!
103
00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:10,600
OK, stop.
104
00:04:18,399 --> 00:04:20,120
WOMAN: I'll get it. MAN: Can you get it?
105
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:21,279
I said, I'll get it!
106
00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:24,840
Hiya. I'm just collecting Spencer.
107
00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:27,680
Oh, really? Well, I messaged Claire.
Oh, really?
108
00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:31,000
Dad. Guess what? Sam said I could stay over.
109
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,960
What, stay over here tonight?
110
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:34,600
Yeah. What, you and Sam?
111
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,240
Oh, is that a problem?
112
00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:37,880
Well, no, I mean...
113
00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:40,760
I mean, if...if...if Claire knows,
114
00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:42,880
then I...I guess it's fine.
115
00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:43,920
Yes!
116
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:45,159
SHE CHUCKLES
117
00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:49,240
Claire will be grateful for some
time alone with, er...herself.
118
00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,200
Well, I know about Hot Furniture Guy.
119
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:52,960
Oh, do you call him that, too?!
120
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,960
Well, that and other things, yeah.
121
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,320
I can see where he gets the name.
122
00:04:57,320 --> 00:05:00,200
Well, he makes furniture, doesn't he,
so it sort of makes sense.
123
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:03,560
Right. Well, OK, thanks.
OK, bye, Spencer! Have fu...
124
00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:04,640
..fun.
125
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,640
Jonathan. Oh, shit. What time is it?
126
00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:17,280
Is Spencer with you? No, he's not here.
127
00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:19,640
He's staying at Sam's.
I've been trying to get hold of you.
128
00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:21,600
I'm sorry. I've just been busy.
129
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,000
Oh, what have you been up to?
130
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,680
I was in the shower.
131
00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:29,640
It's a weird time of day to be showering.
132
00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:34,040
Yeah, I like showering in the day -
just for freshness. Really? Si...
133
00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:36,520
Oh. All right, buddy.
134
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:40,720
Oh, I see.
135
00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:43,640
For freshness. Freshness, yeah.
136
00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:45,800
Do you want to come in? No, not really.
137
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,040
HAMMERING
138
00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:50,440
So you...you were saying
Spencer's having a sleepover?
139
00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:52,320
HAMMERING CONTINUES
140
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:57,240
Erm, sorry. Do you mind?
141
00:05:57,240 --> 00:06:00,160
No, mate. You go right ahead.
I'm just putting this right.
142
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,680
HAMMERING CONTINUES
143
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:04,800
Yes, at Sam's.
144
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,520
Are you all right with that? Yeah.
145
00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:09,440
Why wouldn't I be? Oh, get in!
Lovely bit of plasterboard, that.
146
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:11,440
DRILLING
147
00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:14,600
Do you not think it's a bit weird?
148
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,000
No. Why?
149
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,560
Oh, dear, oh, dear.
150
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:20,400
Well, he's in love with Sam, isn't he?
Yeah. So?
151
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,760
OK, they're both of a certain age,
aren't they?
152
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:24,160
HAMMERING CONTINUES
153
00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:25,600
Well, he's 11.
154
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,080
Who's wired this thing?
155
00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:31,600
She's nearly 12, though.
156
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:34,120
And let's not forget that you were
going clubbing when you were 13.
157
00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:36,640
Legend. But, Claire! What?
158
00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:38,760
What, you think Spencer will
be getting the Jagers in
159
00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:40,640
down Coalition tonight?
160
00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:42,000
SHE SCOFFS It's fine!
161
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,240
Just leave them to it.
162
00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:45,200
Nah, whole thing will have to come out.
163
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:46,760
DRILLING
164
00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:48,159
Sorry, can...?
165
00:06:48,159 --> 00:06:49,840
HAMMERING CONTINUES
166
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:54,400
Lo... Do you think Magic Mike
could just give us a minute?
167
00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:58,760
Oh, loud and clear, mate.
168
00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:00,800
HE CHUCKLES
169
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:03,280
Cheers, babe. Brab... Ba... Babe-reh...
170
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:06,520
JONATHAN SIGHS
171
00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,200
Who knows what they're up to?
172
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,680
Oh, you're being ridiculous. Am I?
173
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:14,680
We've both seen Euphoria.
What if Sam's a legend?
174
00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:16,200
Oh, my God.
175
00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:19,360
Yeah. OK. You might be right.
Er, I am right, actually.
176
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:21,040
What the hell are we going to do?
177
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:22,600
Well, WE'RE not going to do anything.
178
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,120
YOU'RE going to go and get him,
but make up an excuse.
179
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,920
You know, don't tell the truth obviously.
We'll look weird.
180
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:30,960
OK, great, yeah.
Well, I'll leave you to freshen up again.
181
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,040
I'm so glad I came.
182
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:35,200
Thank you.
183
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,960
HE SIGHS Back in a bit.
184
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,840
Oh, see you, Prakash.
185
00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:42,440
Why are you calling him Prakash?
186
00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,120
Er...
187
00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:49,120
It's just a joke.
188
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:52,440
You call him Prakash as a joke?
189
00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:53,480
No...
190
00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:01,040
DOOR CLOSES
191
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:02,800
Not OK, Brett!
192
00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:14,360
Oh, yeah.
193
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,040
That's nice, Dan.
194
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:19,600
SHE SIGHS God, I have had such a hectic day.
195
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,320
Really?
196
00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:23,720
Yeah. I mean,
you gave me that book to read, didn't you?
197
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:27,000
And then I was on the phone to Tina.
198
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:29,480
Reading and a phone call.
199
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,360
That does sound like a lot.
200
00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:33,240
Tina is really struggling at the moment,
201
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:35,880
you know, being a single mother.
202
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:40,520
I'm so lucky I'm going to have
you there every day to help me.
203
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,720
Yeah, I did promise that, didn't I?
204
00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:47,480
Yeah. Anyway, Tina, she does that, erm...
205
00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:49,720
Aw, that parenting...
206
00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:51,760
Gentle parenting? ..gentle parenting,
207
00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:54,760
and she suggested that
we go over hers tonight
208
00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,960
to have a practice. Well, I can't tonight.
209
00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:59,200
I've got an important phone call with work.
210
00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:01,000
That's all right. We'll just pop over
211
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,720
then you can come back for your call.
212
00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:10,840
Anyway, how...? How did it go today
with the stalker and her victim?
213
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:12,160
It was good.
214
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:13,560
It was really good.
215
00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:16,800
Something mad happened. Crazy.
216
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,880
She offered me a full-time position.
217
00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:20,560
It's nuts, right?
218
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,480
Obviously, I couldn't take it.
219
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:24,720
Yeah, you'd feel so guilty.
220
00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:29,360
Yeah, I would, wouldn't I?
221
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:33,920
Don't stop. Oh. Sorry.
222
00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:38,880
And that's gentle parenting.
223
00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:41,320
No. No, it's not.
224
00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:51,800
I did choose consolidated delivery.
225
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,120
WOMAN WHISPERS: Piss off.
226
00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:56,440
Oh. Well, you're not Amazon.
227
00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:58,760
Erm, no, I'm...I'm Spencer's dad.
228
00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:00,480
Spencer?
229
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:03,760
Yeah, he's here. Oh, the boy. Right.
230
00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:05,840
Layla, someone's here for Spencer.
231
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,360
No. Spencer's staying over.
232
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:09,600
HE SIGHS
233
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,040
Absolutely typical.
234
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:12,400
She's fuck-wangled it again.
235
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:14,560
I mean, to be fair,
she hasn't fuck-wangled it, actually.
236
00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:15,680
Yes, she has.
237
00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:18,640
Well, she hasn't,
because he was supposed to be staying, but...
238
00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:20,000
All right, so why are you here?
239
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,200
Well, to get him because
he's...he's not...he's now...
240
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:24,560
Because she fuck-wangled it.
No, she didn't fuck-wangle it.
241
00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:26,080
It's... You know, it's an accidental...
242
00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:27,800
Christ, Layla, there's somebody here.
243
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,760
Can you just deal with it?
244
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:32,000
Well, I didn't mean to create an issue.
245
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,880
There's been issues for years, mate.
246
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,320
Hi, Jonathan. Is there a problem?
247
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,720
Sorry, I should have given
you my phone number earlier.
248
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:43,160
Yeah, no, there's no problem.
It's just Claire actually wants
249
00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:45,400
Spencer home, so... Oh, no! Yeah.
250
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,880
Oh, Sam will be ever so disappointed.
What happened?
251
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,400
Well, nothing's happened. It's just,
252
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:53,520
he's got a...um, well,
he's got football in the morning, so.
253
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,760
Oh, that's fine.
I can drop him off. Thanks again.
254
00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:56,960
No, no, no, but it's just that,
255
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,880
um, it's just that he's got
an early start tomorrow.
256
00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:00,240
He needs to get a good night's sleep.
257
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,520
You know, that's a whole thing.
I can make sure they go to bed
258
00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:04,400
at a reasonable time.
You enjoy yourself, OK?
259
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,880
Well, yeah... Thanks,
then. ..but he's got a lot of problems!
260
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,160
What kind of problems?
261
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:15,040
Um... He still wets the bed.
262
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,680
Oh, right. Um...
263
00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:19,120
At 11? Yeah.
264
00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:21,040
I mean, it's...it is a concern, obviously.
265
00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:23,400
I wouldn't worry about it.
I mean, we can manage that.
266
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:25,720
You go off. Have a good evening, OK?
Thanks, then. Yeah, but...
267
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:28,000
Thanks, then. ..the thing is...
Thanks, then!
268
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:32,880
OK.
269
00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:35,120
So the baby's down finally.
270
00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:38,760
And if he wakes, just check his nappy,
maybe change his pyjamas,
271
00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:40,800
give him a milk feed with stories.
272
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,960
Pop the white noise on with
the night light and sing.
273
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,360
Sorry, are you going out?
274
00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:48,720
I thought we were just
going to get some practice
275
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:50,160
while you cooked us dinner.
276
00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:53,480
I didn't realise that we would
be looking after actual children.
277
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,240
Oh. Do you mind?
278
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:57,440
I thought you wanted to
practise gentle parenting.
279
00:11:57,440 --> 00:12:00,240
I thought it'd be more
like gentle shadowing.
280
00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:01,880
Might be a good opportunity for us.
281
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:04,680
Yeah, you go, Tina.
282
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:05,840
OK.
283
00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:07,720
Oscar will tell you when he's tired.
284
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:08,880
Won't you, Oscie?
285
00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:11,040
Won't you, Oscie?
286
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:14,280
He's hilarious.
287
00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:16,080
But not too much screen time.
288
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:18,120
Actually,
that's probably enough screen time.
289
00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:19,520
No more screen time, OK.
290
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:21,320
OK, thanks a million.
291
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,880
Mummy's going dancing.
292
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:25,440
Bye!
293
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:26,880
Bye.
294
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,120
OK, little guy.
295
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:30,440
Just take your...
296
00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:31,880
Get off!
297
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:34,680
Wow. OK, don't worry.
298
00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:37,840
I'm going to do some gentle parenting.
Watch this.
299
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:40,480
OK, Oscar,
300
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:44,240
what I'm hearing is that you
don't want to give us the iPad.
301
00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:47,600
Going to give me the iPad, please.
302
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,120
Can you give me the iPad, please?
303
00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:50,760
Me, me, iPad, please.
304
00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:53,520
Oh, OK, what I'm hearing now is
305
00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:56,240
that you're getting a bit frustrated,
sweetheart, yeah?
306
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:57,400
Oh!
307
00:12:57,400 --> 00:13:00,440
What I'm hearing now is that you are
being a little... Gentle, gentle.
308
00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:02,120
PHONE RINGS, BABY CRIES
309
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:03,480
I need to take this.
310
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:04,800
Hello?
311
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,600
Crying. Wow.
312
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,560
BABY COUGHS
313
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,720
I can't believe you need
help collecting your own son.
314
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:19,720
It was incredibly difficult. She was very eager to
get rid of me. She kept just going, "Thanks, then,"
315
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:21,640
and then sort of shutting
the door in my face.
316
00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:24,080
Listen, there is a weird vibe in there, OK?
317
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:25,360
I heard raised voices.
318
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:27,320
Oh, shit, not raised voices.
319
00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:28,720
Just listen.
320
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:31,720
RAISED VOICES
321
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:33,040
OK, right.
322
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:35,160
Look at me, focus. We can do this.
323
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:38,080
OK, extract the target and move to the exit.
324
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:40,200
OK, calm down, Liam Neeson.
325
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:42,440
You've got a specific set of skills.
326
00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,760
How's that for communication?!
327
00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:47,360
Hi. Oh, hi, how are you?
328
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,760
What are you doing out here?
I just came out to get some air.
329
00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:51,000
Do you want to come in?
330
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,560
Yeah, OK. Um, yeah?
331
00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:53,800
OK, yeah.
332
00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:58,360
Cameron, we've got guests!
333
00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:00,720
Both of Spencer's parents are here.
334
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:03,440
Why? We're not going to stay,
we were just going to grab Spence.
335
00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:05,400
Just sit down, have a drink.
336
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:08,160
It's much better when people are here,
isn't it, babe? Is it, babe?
337
00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:10,400
Yes, babe.
Why don't you get them some crisps?
338
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,240
It would be an absolute pleasure.
339
00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:15,320
Here you go. Oh, um...
340
00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:16,880
Crisps, OK.
341
00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:18,560
So where are the, um, kids?
342
00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:20,920
Sam's room. Wine? Beer?
343
00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:22,040
Do you want a beer?
344
00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:24,720
We were literally just going to grab Spencer.
No!
345
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:28,240
No, look,
Jonathan has told me about the problem, OK?
346
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:29,760
Has he? Um... Oh.
347
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,560
Well, he wasn't supposed to.
348
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,280
Bedwetting is just a symptom of anxiety.
349
00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:36,200
Ugh, pathetic.
350
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:39,920
Oh, well,
it's not just the bed wetting, is it?
351
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:41,720
It's also...
352
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:43,920
What? ..we, um...
353
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:45,520
Look, we...
354
00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:46,960
Jonathan?
355
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:49,680
Well, I mean, it's actually it's
very difficult to, you know, say.
356
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:51,360
There's a...
357
00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:55,880
..there's, er,
an array like a platter of reasons
358
00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:57,720
that it's difficult to...
359
00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:00,720
Jonathan has separation anxiety.
Do I? Yes. Course he does.
360
00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:03,720
And that's fine, that's,
um, I have to respect that.
361
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:08,320
So you'll just pop along now, won't you? Oh, yes.
And get Spencer. I'm going to pop along and, er...
362
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:11,600
Look, this dinner's nearly ready,
so can he at least stay for that, Jonathan?
363
00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:14,120
Um...
364
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:20,200
Yes. Yeah, sure.
365
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:23,520
That will help with my separation anxiety.
366
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:24,840
Lovely.
367
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:26,200
Yeah, lovely.
368
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:29,880
There's plenty to go around,
as long as we all have a lot less.
369
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:35,480
Oh, that absolutely stinks.
370
00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:38,120
Oh,
are you supposed to have cream on your bum?
371
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:39,960
Oh, what cream are you supposed to have?
372
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:41,440
Oh, Dan!
373
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,400
Am I supposed to use cream?
374
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:44,760
Oh, shit.
375
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:46,640
The other one.
376
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:48,880
Right, so it'll only be two weeks' leave.
377
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,600
Where is Oscar?
378
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:55,200
Oh, my God.
379
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,600
Oh, my God! What are you doing?
380
00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:59,760
I'm a dinosaur.
381
00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:01,640
Rrrr!
382
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:04,120
I empathise with you being a dinosaur.
383
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:06,280
But I really need you to get down now,
Oscar, come on.
384
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,520
I'm T-Rex, the king.
385
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:10,920
Rrrr! All right, OK, you're not a T-Rex.
386
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:14,520
Do you know why I know that? Because
T-Rexes don't get on the worktop, do they?
387
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:15,720
How do you know?
388
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,480
Because I am a dino expert.
389
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:19,120
And do you know what dinosaurs do?
390
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:20,960
They do exactly what they're told.
391
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:23,600
Well, I'm always told to eat my breakfast.
392
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,080
Rrrr!
393
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,840
SHE SCREAMS LOUDLY
394
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:28,800
Ra-ra-ra! Ra-a-a!
395
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,200
To you!
396
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:31,760
Ra!
397
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:35,000
Ra-a-a-a! Ooh.
398
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:49,000
How come you came back
and why are you both here?
399
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,880
I've got separation anxiety.
400
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:52,640
What?
401
00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:54,560
Daddy just misses you.
402
00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:56,480
Aw, do you often get lonely?
403
00:16:57,880 --> 00:16:59,320
No, I do not get lonely.
404
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:02,360
I have a very active social life,
actually, which now,
405
00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:05,440
as I say it aloud to a child,
feels incredibly sad.
406
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:06,960
Yeah, it does.
407
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:11,240
Well, this is delicious, Layla.
Thank you so much.
408
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:13,079
Thank you. It's Turkish.
409
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,400
A friend of mine gave me the recipe.
410
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:21,440
Who?
411
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,319
Just a friend.
412
00:17:24,319 --> 00:17:25,599
Mm-hm?
413
00:17:25,599 --> 00:17:27,079
Yeah.
414
00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:29,440
Well, that was great.
415
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,280
All done. Yum, yum, yum.
416
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:32,800
Can I get you another helping?
417
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,240
No, we've got to...
418
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:37,080
We've got to get off.
Well, Claire hasn't finished eating?
419
00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,920
Nearly done.
Well, I'm going to have a drink.
420
00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:41,840
It's exhausting, this parenting lark.
421
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:43,480
How would you know?
422
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:46,480
Because I work full-time,
423
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:49,120
then I come home and do bedtime,
don't I, babe?
424
00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:50,360
Do you, babe?
425
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:52,360
Er, can we eat in my room? No.
426
00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:54,280
I mean, no.
I mean... I do mean no, actually,
427
00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:58,680
but, I mean, I don't think they can, can they? They
shouldn't really. I think it's fine, sweetheart. Yeah.
428
00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:00,520
Walk over. Come on, Spencer.
429
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:03,400
Spencer, I think it's probably best
for you to leave the door open.
430
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,440
Just, you know, because it's good to have...
431
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,960
The meal's better with a bit of
airflow into the room, you know?
432
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,240
What are you talking about?
433
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:11,360
Then we're going to take you
home after dinner, OK? Why?
434
00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:12,920
I thought we were having a sleepover.
435
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:15,680
Yeah, sorry,
it's a change of plan, apparently.
436
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:16,960
You said Spencer could stay.
437
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,360
You said I could have a friend,
and I wanted Spencer.
438
00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:21,480
You never stick to your promises.
I hate you!
439
00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:24,000
No, don't... Well done, Cameron.
440
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,400
Well, I mean, I have separation anxiety.
441
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,160
Didn't separate yourself from my food,
did you?
442
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:43,520
She's calmed down now.
They're just finishing their dinner.
443
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:44,760
Whoo.
444
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:50,120
Can I ask you a personal question?
445
00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:52,000
How are things since the split?
446
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,160
Did Spencer take it OK?
447
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:55,480
Er, yeah.
448
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:57,880
Yeah, he did, actually.
I'm really proud of him.
449
00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:59,520
I'm sorry, you two aren't together?
450
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:00,800
No.
451
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,280
No. Of course they're not.
452
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,720
Well, how would I know?
You never told me, as per...
453
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:07,880
I did tell you.
You just didn't listen, as per...
454
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,480
Gosh! I love the fabric on this cushion.
Oh, yeah, it's...
455
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:12,800
That is... Does she do this to you? Sorry?
456
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:16,360
Gaslight you.
No, I mean, she...she shouts sometimes.
457
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:19,560
Yeah, I bet she does. I don't shout.
I bet she shouts and she lies.
458
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,280
Oh! And I bet she's got a secret
friend in Turkey. I don't think
459
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:25,120
Claire's been to Turkey.
They've all been to Turkey.
460
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:28,760
And they say they've said things they patently
haven't. He just doesn't listen. I don't know
461
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,640
what you're meant to do if you've
got a partner who doesn't listen!
462
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:34,280
I do listen! I listen all the time,
because all you do is talk,
463
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:36,000
over and over and over again! THUDDING
464
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,720
Sorry to interrupt the conversation,
465
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:40,360
but can anyone else hear that?
Yeah. Yeah, I can,
466
00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:42,680
because I was listening. Um...
467
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:44,880
Yeah, I think we should go.
Yeah, I think we should.
468
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:51,800
DOOR RATTLES We need privacy!
469
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:53,560
They've locked the door! What?!
470
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:58,600
Spencer! Go away, Dad!
We're in the middle of something.
471
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:05,520
Erm, guys, they've locked...
How can you say I never give you anything?
472
00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:07,760
Ha! My birthday, prime example.
473
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:09,920
You asked for a Hobbycraft voucher!
LOUD CLATTER
474
00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:11,760
I should not have to think up my own
475
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:14,760
birthday present. Erm... Er...
You don't know me. That is bullshit!
476
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,920
Of course I know you.
Really? Is that bullshit?
477
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:19,520
Well, tell me my favourite film, then.
478
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,280
Ha-ha-ha! What's my favourite film?
479
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:24,080
WHISPERING: Tell me my favourite film.
480
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,520
Notting Hill.
481
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:26,800
No!
482
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:30,000
It's How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days.
What's that? And you don't even have
483
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:33,440
a favourite film, because you're so boring!
Yes, I do! It's...
484
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,160
..any of the Ocean's movies.
485
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,080
SHE LAUGHS Wow.
486
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:41,400
Guys, I am really sorry to interrupt this.
487
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:44,320
Yeah, we've actually got a problem.
Well, join the club!
488
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,040
Do you know what her favourite film is?
489
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,360
What? Come on.
490
00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:49,960
What's HER favourite film, then?
491
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,560
Oh. Oh, well, I, erm...
492
00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:54,960
Well, I suppose it's...
It's probably the original
493
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:58,200
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory...
Charlie and... ..with Gene Wilder.
494
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:00,480
Erm, she thinks it's the best film ever made,
and...
495
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:05,760
..it makes her feel like a kid.
And, erm, her eyes go all glinty
496
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:08,440
when she talks about how the
chocolate room was edible
497
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:11,040
and the actors saw it for
the first time on camera.
498
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:13,360
She loves the soundtrack.
And she says whenever...
499
00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,520
Yeah, yeah, yeah! Shut up!
500
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:18,560
Didn't ask for a synopsis!
Sorry, I was just answering the question.
501
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:21,600
Fine, then. But I bet YOU don't know
what his favourite film is, do you?
502
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:23,000
Do not give a synopsis.
503
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,120
Well, it's different films
for different moods, isn't it?
504
00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:29,280
You see? She doesn't know! Yes, I do know!
505
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:32,480
It's KKHH. For the win! Yes!
506
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,000
What even is that? Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.
Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.
507
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,360
It's a Bollywood thing. Yeah.
508
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:40,320
Ha! Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,
509
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:42,120
and Kucha-Kucha-Hai-Tai...
510
00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:44,840
Erm, it's Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.
511
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:46,520
Kucha-Kucha-Hotai-Hai.
512
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,120
Kuch Kuch Hota Hai...
That's what I just said.
513
00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:51,800
Look, it's not, actually.
514
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,480
Kucha-Kucha-Tai-Tai.
515
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,720
Kucha... Er, it's getting further away,
actually. Yeah.
516
00:21:58,280 --> 00:21:59,560
Grr!
517
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,280
I can't do this.
518
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,680
I am not a gentle parent.
519
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:10,120
In fact, I think MY parenting
style might be...horrific. It's OK.
520
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:12,000
Just don't freak out, OK?
521
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,400
Do you mind if I have a go?
OK, go on, then, but good luck.
522
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:21,680
BABY GURGLES
523
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,000
Ah!
524
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:36,480
Yeah, I think this gentle parenting
might be a bit overrated. Wow!
525
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:37,560
Ah...
526
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:40,160
Could you stop going on about Tenerife?!
527
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:43,080
I did book the flights.
OK, guys, I'm really sorry
528
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:46,160
to interrupt, but we really do need to go.
Yeah. Do you think you could
529
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:47,520
get Sam to unlock the door?
530
00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:49,960
Well, they're in there now.
Let's just leave them to it.
531
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:53,920
No, because...we...we can't.
Look, I'm just going to say something now,
532
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:56,840
OK? Seeing as we're all being honest
and open and sharing seemingly
533
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,680
everything. Look, I think...
No, you don't need to say anything.
534
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:02,680
..we're all friends now and I'm just
going to say it. Don't say it. No,
535
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:06,280
I'm saying it, OK?
I... I speak on behalf of both of us
536
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:08,520
when I say that this sleepover,
537
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:11,200
quite frankly, is inappropriate.
538
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:14,320
Why? SHE SNIGGERS
539
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:18,080
Why? Erm, well, I mean...
540
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:21,080
..that's a, that's a good question.
541
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:22,400
Erm...
542
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:26,120
Kids are...
Kids are learning things much more quickly
543
00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:29,360
than, er, than we used to.
You know, they know more stuff at their age
544
00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:32,760
than we did when we were their age.
And, you know,
545
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:34,320
Claire is, er, when you were...
546
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:35,720
When you were 13,
547
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:37,320
you know, you were, erm,
548
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:38,680
you know?
549
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:40,920
I was a legend. Yeah.
550
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:45,480
And girls mature much more quickly than...
I mean, you know...
551
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:48,520
They're still, I still see them as...
I mean, I don't SEE them as girls,
552
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:51,000
I THINK of them...
I mean, I'm not thinking of girls.
553
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:54,000
I mean, the point I'm trying to make
is that girls mature more quickly
554
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,840
than boys. And I guess what I'm
worried about is that she might be
555
00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:58,480
leading him down a, you know, erm...
556
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,520
Have you seen Euphoria?
557
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:01,840
Um, I'm sorry...
558
00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:05,400
..do you think that Sam wants
to be Spencer's girlfriend?
559
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:06,840
Erm...
560
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:12,640
..maybe. Yeah. THEY LAUGH
561
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:22,960
No, mate. I mean, Spence is very sweet,
but he still wets the bed!
562
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,280
CAMERON LAUGHS Well, I made that up, so...
563
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:26,680
It's called the "friend zone".
564
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,520
She thinks he's a dweeb.
565
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:31,560
She sees him as, like,
a...weird little brother.
566
00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:34,440
I can't believe you thought she'd
want him to be her boyfriend!
567
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:37,160
THEY LAUGH OK.
568
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:38,880
Not being funny, mate, but, er,
569
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:42,320
like father, like son.
I mean, it's pretty weird,
570
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:44,480
you hanging around with your ex like this.
571
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:47,120
She's clearly not interested. I...
I enjoy his company.
572
00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:48,640
Yeah...! Do you?
573
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,880
Yeah. Er, and can I just say,
by the way, we are a much better couple
574
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,560
than you are, despite the fact we're
not even together. But that's not
575
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:57,160
the point. The point is,
they're upstairs, locked in a room.
576
00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:58,920
What are they doing?! Mum, Dad!
577
00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:01,400
Can we show you some of our moves?
We've been practising.
578
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:03,440
Practising jujitsu.
579
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:06,640
OK, don't hold back.
580
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,040
Agh!
581
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:10,440
Spencer... Spence, are you OK?
Drag him to the floor!
582
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:15,280
Are you OK? Spencer, tap out.
Tap out, Spencer. Finish him!
583
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:17,000
I think I can keep going for a bit longer.
584
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,800
Spencer, tap out. Seriously, Spencer,
tap out! I might be starting
585
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:22,920
to black out, but I'm totally fine.
Spencer. Tap out, Spencer!
586
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:25,600
SPENCER COUGHS
587
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,000
Dear Lord!
588
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:28,400
CLAIRE SIGHS
589
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:31,960
It'll be fine. It's just one night.
590
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,360
Yeah, I'll be honest,
I'm more worried about Spencer
591
00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:37,880
having his heart mashed into a
pulp and made into some sort of
592
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:41,680
smoothie of sadness, and then sort
of spends the next few years just
593
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,720
looking in the mirror in the evening,
thinking, "What's wrong with me?"
594
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:47,760
I actually had a good night,
despite all the, er,
595
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:49,600
the arguing and the, er...
596
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:54,080
..you know,
suggestion that our son is undatable.
597
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:59,040
Yeah, me too. It was sort of a mix of deeply,
deeply uncomfortable,
598
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:00,640
but also, feeling quite superior.
599
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,280
I mean,
I found myself feeling very relieved that
600
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:05,320
you never visited Turkey. SHE LAUGHS
601
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:07,840
How do you know I've never visited Turkey?
602
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:11,840
"They've all been to Turkey".
JONATHAN LAUGHS
603
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:14,360
Oh, my God! Also, can I just say,
604
00:26:14,360 --> 00:26:16,240
if your favourite film
605
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,480
is any of the Ocean's movies,
606
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:19,960
that's a red flag, isn't it? Yeah.
607
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:21,960
I mean, it's the grounds for divorce.
608
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:25,960
I mean, that whole "Julia Roberts
looks like Julia Roberts" thing,
609
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:28,160
piss off! SHE LAUGHS
610
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:30,040
Night, then. Night, mate!
611
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,640
"Mate"! Fuck my life!
612
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:40,760
MUSIC: The Last Letter by The Blossoms
613
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:44,840
You're amazing.
614
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,640
Oh, thank God you're going to be there!
615
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,280
Yeah, thank God.
616
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:53,960
I sent you a letter
617
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:58,280
A telegram too
618
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:02,120
Answer your phone, baby...
619
00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:03,560
HE SNORES
620
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:07,040
..Well, I need to talk to you
621
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:10,240
We can't go on
622
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:15,440
With me just loving you
623
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:19,360
Open your mailbox, baby
624
00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:22,920
There's my last letter to you
625
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:27,880
I sent you a letter
626
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:32,360
A telegram too
627
00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:36,200
Open your mailbox, baby
628
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:40,200
There's my last letter to you
629
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:48,800
Ooh...
630
00:27:48,850 --> 00:27:53,400
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