Original subtitles

( Distant woman speaking on radio )

( Birds chirping )

- ( Dishes clattering ) - ( breathes deeply )

( Car passes )

( Footsteps )

( Breathing heavily )

-(yells) - (gasps)

( Grunting )

- ( Screams ) - ( both grunting )

- ( Grunts) - Ah! ( gurgling )

- ( Footsteps ) - ( sizzling )

( Pan clatters )

( Woman breathing heavily )

- (inhales deeply ) - (gurgling )

- ( Grunting ) - ( clanging )

( Woman breathing heavily )

- ( Tires screeching ) - ( cars crashing )

( Honking )

( Car alarms blaring )

- ( Pan clatters ) - ( alarms continue )

( Tires screech )

( Car crashes )

( Speaking Spanish ) It wasn't supposed to be like this.

( Man breathing slowly )

- ( Tires screeching ) - ( cars crashing )

I've been poisoning you since last year.

- ( Tires screech ) - ( car crashes )

You were supposed to die in a few months,

slowly, like up to now.

- ( Tires screech ) - ( car crashes )

Nobody would realize it was me.

Everything would have worked out.

It would have been over with.

( Speaks weakly ) Why?

Because I've been listening to the news all morning and I've run out of time.

( Exhales )

- ( Tires screech ) - ( car crashes )

( Roaring approaching )

( Sighs)

( Sniffles )

I'm sorry, it was going to be better.

- ( Tires screech ) - ( cars crashing )

But we didn't have time.

- ( Woman laughing ) - ( man breathing heavily )

( Kissing )

( Girl speaks Spanish ) I can't sleep.

( Speaking Spanish ) But it's almost--

( sighs ) almost 8:00.

Go to your room. I'll be right with you.

What do you want me to do?

My parents lent me the house with this condition only.

( Speaks )

Well, let's do nothing.

Man: Xo, look...

you have to sleep.

Being a child is a bitch, I know, but that's how things are.

But in my house I don't have to go to sleep until 10:00.

Look, in this neighborhood, children have to sleep early,

because if not... err...

- { woman screams ) - ( snowman growls )

- ...the Abominable Showman comes! - But it doesn't show here.

You tell him that when he comes to get you.

- Your uncle is all wrong. - He is my cousin, not my uncle.

Yes, baby, it doesn't snow in Mexico City.

Any idiot knows that.

But many, many years ago

there was a snowfall that covered the city.

It came from the distant region of Nepal and sat here

for 40 days in which the sun barely came out to warm.

It was snowing day after day. People couldn't go outside

and that's why they took so long to realize what was happening.

Many children were disappearing from their homes.

You know what happened to them?

But your uncle does, right?

They were found...

- dead? - Dead, of course.

But that wasn't the worst part of it.

Their hearts were torn out.

After that, they realized that whoever had done it

only ate children's hearts.

- When they finally found him... - ( weapons clanging )

...one of the bloodiest battles in all of history took place.

The battle was so long that in 1958 the government had to make a truce.

Benito Juarez agreed with the snowman

that he could live in a cold-storage container with one condition--

he could only go out at night

and could only take the children who were not lying down after 8:00.

They don't have to be asleep, but lying in their beds.

Woman: But they have to demonstrate good will if they are not asleep

- and at least they must count sheep. - And how is he?

He rings a bell and has a cart where he puts the children's bodies.

And he screams!

Sure.

- He screams. - Is he the Bogeyman?

If you have to choose, choose the Bogeyman.

It's the kind of person that will only abduct you.

The Snowman from Mexico

will take out your little heart

and before you die, you'll see him eat it.

- Man #2: Gaaarbiishhhhhhh... -(gasps)

- Did you hear that? - ( bell ringing )

- Gaaarbiishhhhhhh... - Quick, Xochitl,

close your eyes, close your eyes.

Shhh. Don't make a sound!

( Calling out)

If you're going to do something, do it right.

She won't come out!

( Bell ringing )

( Breathing heavily )

( Moaning )

( Groans )

Man: Oh! The garbage collector...

or my mom will kill me.

Scare her with the garbage collector-- you're a bitch.

Good night.

( Man and woman scream )

( Wheezing )

( Footsteps )

- ( Breathing heavily ) - ( girl muttering )

Girl: 97 sheeps, 98 sheeps, 99 sheeps...

One sheep, two sheeps, three sheeps...

( birds chirping )

( Water splattering )

( Woman speaks Spanish ) Bruce?

Is everything okay?

- ( Crickets chirping ) - ( shuffling footsteps )

( Squeaks )

( Clicks)

( Whispering ) I heard a sound.

- Huh? - I heard a sound. Go see.

- Woman: Bruce? - ( birds chirping )

Did you see this?

( Whooshes )

Bruce: Alice?

Alice?

( Whooshes )

( Crickets chirping )

( Shuffling footsteps )

( Alice mutters )

- ( Alice whispers ) I heard a sound. - Bruce: Huh?

Alice: I heard a sound. Go see.

( Birds chirping )

Bruce: Alice?

Alice?

( Whooshes )

- ( Both grunting ) - ( ghostly voices )

( Yells, choking )

( Grunting )

( Breathing heavily )

( Grunting )

( Whooshes )

( Water splattering )

Alice: Bruce?

Is everything okay?

( Thuds)

- ( Voices whispering ) - ( woman speaks, echoing )

- ( Rock music playing ) - ( mouthing )

( Woman speaks, echoing )

( Mouthing )

( Distorted shouting)

-( Clangs ) - ( distorted barking )

( Screams )

( Distorted shouting )

( Distorted scream )

(yells)

( Growling )

( Shouting )

( Distorted ) Buddy.

( Heart beating )

( Distorted shout )

( Normal barking )

( labored breathing )

( Distorted growling )

( Thud echoes )

( Dramatic music playing )

(yawns)

( Clicks, whirs )

- ( High-pitched humming ) - ( chittering )

( Chair scrapes )

( Thrumming )

Ah! Ugh!

Ah ah ah.

Ugh. Ugh.

- ( High-pitched humming ) - ( brushing)

( Inhales sharply )

- ( laughing ) - (laughter on TV )

( People speaking on TV )

- (laughter on TV ) - ( laughing )

( High-pitched humming )

- ( Thrumming ) - ( grunting )

Woman on phone: This is because I stuck my finger in you, isn't it?

- Oh, come on, baby, don't be like that. - Well, when are we gonna get together?

- When are we gonna meet up? - No no, tomorrow.

It's just my ear. It hurts a little bit.

- ( High-pitched humming ) - ( chittering )

( Faucet runs )

( Splats )

( laughing )

I got you, you little son--

- ( high-pitched tone ) - Oh!

- ( Exhales sharply ) - ( tone stops )

Phew.

( High-pitched tone )

( laughing )

Fuck you!

- ( High-pitched tone ) - ( gasps, grunting )

( Splats )

- ( Bell peals ) - ( girl speaking Japanese ) Japan,

we always believed, was a country watched over by the gods.

But me, I don't believe there is a God.

Besides, if there really were a God...

( grunts, farts )

...sensitive girls wouldn't be

- so ashamed whenever they had to fart. - ( exhales deeply, sighs )

Good morning.

Aaah! Miss Yumi,

were you watching?

Oh no. I'm so embarrassed!

I saw what you did!

( laughs )

( Girl narrating ) Instead of God,

I believe that Miss Yumi is watching over me.

When I'm with Miss Yumi, I feel so happy,

but I can't control the sense of yearning swelling in my breast.

- ( Birds chirping ) - So gentle and pure--

I wonder if Miss Yumi could also make such a shameful noise?

Just then,

- we felt God's anger towards us. - ( rumbling )

- ( Explosion ) - ( both scream )

- Miss Yumi: Oh no! It's an earthquake! - ( girls whimpering )

( Girl narrating ) The ground began to shake.

- ( Explosion ) - ( hissing )

(gasps)

- Gas! Gas is coming! - Run!

( Girl narrating ) Or maybe that black gas...

- ( girls gasp ) - ...is a fart from the ass of God?

( Coughs )

( Panting )

Miss Yumi!

Miss Yumi: Huh?

I don't want to die from breathing in that gas!

- If I have to die... -Yes?

...it's your--

it's your gas I want to breathe!

All right.

As long as you don't mind if it smells bad.

( Breathes heavily )

Miss Yumi! What a lovely behind!

Miss Yumi: Here I go.

( Grunts, farting )

( Flames whooshing )

( Cries)

( Farting )

( Flesh crackling )

( Breathing deeply, moans )

Miss Yumi... everybody...

( coughing )

So stinky!

- ( Grunts) - ( pops)

(gasps)

Miss Yumi and I both have the same kind of animal smell on the inside.

I'm so happy.

The land of the dead isn't the place for pure and clean things.

Let us pass beyond the boundaries of good taste and become one together.

Miss Yumi!

- Girl: I think I'm gonna fart. - ( farting, grunts )

( Moans )

( Rock music playing on radio )

- ( Engine and radio stop ) - ( parking brake clicks )

- ( Cap scrapes ) - ( swallows )

( Keys clink)

( Insects chittering )

( Clattering )

( Distant kids playing )

( Man breathing heavily )

( Gulls cawing )

( Waves lapping )

- ( Man grunts ) - ( bricks clatter)

( Velcro rips )

( Breathing heavily )

-(grunts) - ( bricks clatter)

( Splashing )

( Breathing heavily )

- ( Rain pattering ) - ( plane engines roaring )

( Dog barking )

Winston Churchill: We shall go on to the end,

we shall fight with growing confidence

and growing strength in the air.

We shall fight them on the beaches,

and on the streets.

We shall never surrender... never!

- ( Cars honks ) - ( dog barking )

- ( People chattering ) - ( glasses clinking )

-( Drum roll ) - Announcer: And now,

introducing that army charmer, that navy baby,

the marine queen, the lady who's middle name is "Ka-boom"!

- ( Jazz music playing ) - ( cheers, applause )

( Grunts)

( Moans )

( Panting )

( Woman moaning )

- ( Whirring ) - Whoo-hoo.

- ( Panting ) - (pops)

( Woman laughs )

( Moans )

( Glass shattering )

- ( Blows ) - ( pants)

Yoo-hoo.

( Panting )

( Moaning )

- ( Sighs ) - (gasps)

( Clanking )

Huh?

( low growling )

(gasps)

( Speaks German )

( Clanks )

- Rowr. - ( sizzles )

- ( High-pitched whimpering ) - ( woman laughing )

( Screaming )

( Speaks German ) Get ready for real power! ( grunts )

- ( Dog whimpering ) - ( laughing )

( Bubbling )

- ( Speaks German ) - ( clanging )

( laughing )

- ( Grunting ) - ( electrical crackling )

( Growling )

Churchill: Bertie.

Bertie.

Keep calm, my son...

and carry on.

- Never surrender! - ( snarling )

( laughing )

( Grunts, snarls )

Fight! ( growls )

- (gasps ) - (yells)

( Screaming )

- (laughs ) -(grunts)

( Both grunting )

( Screaming ) Ow!

- ( Whirring ) - (gurgling )

( laughing )

( Screaming, gurgling )

( Dings)

( low humming )

( Clatters )

( Woman speaking Spanish ) I...

-( gasps) - I'm not the intruder,

- nor stranger... - (crying )

Nor somebody else.

- ( Grunting, crying ) - Ironic, isn't it?

You changed me.

You changed me. You marked me.

( High-pitched tone )

And, you know?

You aren't brave.

Neither unique nor original.

You are so basic.

(gasps)

So primal.

- ( Coughing ) - I can't even remember how I got here.

( Whimpering )

( Tone and humming continue )

I---

I arrived without looking,

without worrying.

- ( Gagging ) - And now?

- Do I surrender? - ( coughing )

I just didn't see that angle.

I didn't see this would happen.

( Breathing heavily, groaning )

(crying )

( Retching )

( Tone and humming continue )

( Chokes )

I---

the one who stopped being.

The one who isn't anymore.

I---

( tone and humming stop )

( Dramatic music playing )

( Grunting )

( Birds chirping )

( Sighs)

( Snickers )

( Clears throat )

( Snickers )

( Sighs, clears throat )

( Snickering )

( Grunts)

( Sucks )

( Breathes heavily, muttering )

(gasps)

( Whimpering )

( Humming, beeping )

( Breathing heavily )

( Clicking, dinging )

( Screams )

( Man speaks Japanese ) What's wrong, Kawabe?

( Grunting )

( Blood splattering )

( Squelching, splatters )

( Voice yells )

( Guffaws )

( Snickers )

( laughing )

- ( People chattering ) - ( music playing )

( Gasps, grunting )

( Farting )

- ( Splashes ) - ( sighs)

( Flushes )

- ( Squeaks ) - Hmm?

- ( Pinging ) - ( squeaks )

( Flushing )

( Squeaks )

( Whimpers )

- ( Humphs) - ( rattling )

- ( Grunts) - ( flushing )

- ( Humphs ) - ( squeaks )

- Huh? - ( squeaks )

- ( Door handle rattles ) - ( man speaking )

Ooh!

- ( Squeaks ) - ( grunting )

( Squeaking )

- ( Squeaking, thuds ) - ( chuckles )

( Squeaks )

- ( Screams ) - ( squeaking )

Oh! ( screams )

- ( Screams ) - ( pounds on door))

- ( Man speaks ) - (gasps)

( Blowing hard )

( Squeaking )

( Gasps, blowing )

- (gurgles ) - ( screams )

( Squeaks )

( Growls )

( Thuds)

Mmm!

( Squeaks )

( Inhales sharply )

- ( Squeaks ) - ( snaps)

( Gurgles )

( Squeaks, splashes )

( Squeaking )

- ( Whistles ) - ( squeaks in reply )

- ( Whistles ) - ( squeaks )

( Makes kissing noises, whistles )

- ( Squeaks ) - ( screams )

- ( Squeaks ) - ( door opens )

- Ooh la la! - ( wolf-whistles )

- Ooh! - Oh!

( Music continues )

( Buzzer sounds )

( Footsteps )

( Inhales sharply )

- ( Chains rattling ) - ( grunting )

(yells)

( Footsteps )

- ( Flesh squeaking ) - ( chain rattling )

( Grunting )

- ( Breathes deeply ) - ( chains rattling )

( Groans )

( Both panting )

- ( Groans ) - ( semen splatters )

( Speaking foreign language ) Help me... please.

(crying )

Not yet!

( Screams, sobbing )

- ( Whirring ) - ( grunting )

(gasps)

-( Gurgles ) - ( panting )

- ( Breathing heavily ) - ( heart beating )

( Muffled screams )

( Buzzer sounds )

( Grunts)

( Wheelchair clicks )

( Sighs)

( Clicks)

( Velcro tears )

( Squeaking )

You sick fucks!

( Shouting fades )

( Breathing deeply )

( Flesh squeaking )

( Pants)

( Moaning )

( Semen splatters )

( Man crying )

(yells)

Don't you fucking dare!

( Whimpers )

Wait... wait... don't.

( Screams )

- ( Whirring haltingly ) - Gimme another chance!

- ( Whirs ) - ( both scream, gurgling )

( Buzzer sounds )

-( Moans)) - ( breathing heavily )

- ( Footsteps ) - ( sighs)

( Deep sigh )

( Bed squeaking )

-( Grunts) - (groans)

( Breathing heavily )

(gags)

( Boy crying )

- ( Breathing heavily ) - ( flesh slapping )

( Grunting )

( Soft rock music playing )

♪ Why can't we be like this ♪

♪ Every day? ♪

( Woman moans )

♪ I'll make you... ♪

-♪ So proud of me... ♪ - ( chainsaw idles )

- ( Revving ) -♪ We could be... ♪

- ( woman laughing ) - ♪ So perfect ♪

♪ You will see ♪

♪ You will-will...♪

( music slows down )

-♪ You will...♪ - ( buzzer sounds )

( Water dripping )

( Clothing rustling )

(zips up)

( Rattles, gurgling )

( Rattles, gurgling )

( Exhales sharply )

Oh. ( mutters )

( Chirping )

( Speaking foreign language ) Ta-da! Cute, right?

You brought something again, Shane?

Don't. I'm scared of bird flu.

C'mon, traffic was bad and I had this bird.

Why buy it then? Was it expensive?

Don't tell me you spent my money.

Not expensive, just look.

( Speaks )

Look!

- ( Mutters ) - ( chirping )

That's nothing.

Any bird can do that.

You have something to tell Mommy? Go.

( Speaking ) "Hi, Anne. You're so beautiful."

Boring. Tell me something I don't know. ( laughs )

I just got it yesterday and spent all night teaching it to speak.

( Bird speaking ) "Will you marry me?

Marry me please-- me please."

Will you marry me?

( Cries ) Mmm.

( Bird speaks ) "Don't be scared, Joy, my girlfriend won't know."

Who is Joy?

The heck. It must have remembered it from a movie.

( Sighs)

"Mine is kinda big, so it's gonna hurt a little."

"Ooh, Shane, yours is so big!"

What the hell?! Just say hello to your mom, bird y!

"Oh, that feels good. Shane, you're amazing."

"Oh oh oh oh..."

"Ahhh...!"

Damn you, Shane!

- ( Shane screaming ) - ( bird continues moaning )

- ( Inhaling deeply ) - ( fire crackling )

( Breathing deeply )

( Inhales deeply )

( leather creaks )

Ahh...

( sizzles )

- ( Pops) - ( inhales sharply )

( Moans )

( Exhaling deeply )

( leather creaking )

( Breathing heavily )

( Twangs )

( Bubbles pop loudly )

- ( Moans, gasps ) - ( leather creaking )

( Exhales )

(thrums)

( Thrumming faster )

( Thrumming faster )

- ( low hum) - ( clattering )

( Snaps )

- ( Snaps) - ( moaning )

- ( Twangs ) - Woman: Ah!

- ( Bubbles snap ) - ( moaning )

( leather creaking )

- ( Slaps ) -(grunts)

( Breathing heavily )

( Heart beating )

- ( Gasps, choking ) - ( snapping )

- ( Glass shatters ) - ( choking )

( Snaps )

- ( High-pitched tone ) - ( slowly breathing )

(gasps)

( Crickets chirping )

( Whooshes )

( Cheery electronic tune playing )

( Kids yell )

( Kids shouting )

( Distorted shouting )

( Hip-hop music playing )

( Crickets chirping )

( Birds chirping )

( Cheery electronic tune playing )

( Dance music playing )

( Shower runs )

( Traffic sounds )

( Car honks )

( Unzips )

( Child crying )

( Rattles )

( Hip-hop music playing )

- ( Dance music playing ) - ( people chattering )

( Woman crying )

- ( Birds chirping ) - ( dogs barking )

( Knocking on door))

( Dance music playing )

- ( Booms)) - ( music stops )

( Purring )

( Squeaking )

( Purring )

( Meows )

- ( Stomping ) - ( blood splattering )

- ( Kids playing ) - ( birds chirping )

- ( Bike bell dinging ) - ( laughing )

( Whooshes )

( Crickets chirping )

( Dramatic music playing )

( Bell rings )

( Man sighs, mutters ) God damn it.

( Snorts )

( Coughs )

- ( Snorts ) - ( sighs)

None of this is working.

This is a fucking disaster.

( High-pitched scream )

Okay, that was good.

Uh, could you give me one more of those?

Just like less high pitched and more just like just terrified

and kind of make it a little bit longer too, if you could.

Okay.

( Screaming )

Simon: It's not my fault we got the letter Q.

- That's you being disrespected. - Adam: I know.

Did you see the press release? I was last!

Yeah, I saw that. You were even after Nacho Vigalondo.

( Sighs)

Besides... five grand? How do they expect us

to make any kind of movie for $5,0007?

( Sighs ) All right. So what are we gonna do

to make our segment stand out?

( Snorts )

What if our "ABCs of Death" short is the only segment in the entire film

to feature an actual on-screen death, like-- like somebody actually dies?

Actually, that's a great idea. Like we kill an animal or something?

Yeah, it wouldn't have to be a person. We could kill an animal.

- Nobody gives a shit about animals. - But what animal would we kill?

- It's gotta start with a Q... - A IIQ-II

...or have something to do with a Q.

Simon: A fucking Q.

( Breathes heavily )

Actually, he's kind of cute.

- Yeah, he is. - Here, Mr. Quackers, come here.

( Clicks tongue ) Yes yes...

- ( quacks ) - Ahhh, fuck!

Let's kill this fucking duck.

Juan, you might wanna back up just a little bit.

All right.

Okay, so how do we wanna do this?

We gotta make sure we pretty much kill it right away.

- We don't want it to suffer too much. - Right right right.

Yeah yeah. This isn't a snuff film, this is art.

Ducks die all the time for food.

Okay. Yeah yeah. This is what you eat, America!

You American pigs! They're the real killers, not us.

That's right, yeah. Hey, Juan,

we're gonna just tail-slate this. Is that cool?

All right... so on the count of three?

- Yeah, that sounds good. - All right.

- One... - ( cocks )

Two...

thrrr-- hold on a second.

Can you just shoot the duck? I mean I--

I know it's my, umm, you know, thing,

but, uhhh, if you would shoot the duck, I'd appreciate it.

Yeah yeah, I got it.

Okay. One...

two...

( clicks)

This fucking thing, God damn it.

- You got the safety on? - I don't even know what side it's on.

Yeah, it's that thing the side right there.

( Both grunt)

( Coughs )

Oh, oh shit!

( Dramatic music playing )

( Flies buzzing )

- ( Chains rattling ) - ( monitor beeping )

( Marker scratching )

( Piano music playing )

( Inhales sharply )

( laughs )

( Distant chanting )

( Man whoops )

- ( Cameras clicking ) - ( people chattering )

( People screaming )

( High-pitched tone )

( Tone stops )

( Clatters )

- ( Mouths ) - ( chains rattle )

( Squelching )

( Farts )

( Clatters )

( Choking )

( Cracks)

(rips)

( Sizzling )

( Blood squelches, splattering )

- ( Chokes ) - ( running footsteps )

( Rattles )

Ugh.

( Panicked breathing )

( Doors clang )

( Creaking, bangs )

( Thunder rumbling )

( Rain pattering )

Let go of me, you crazy-assed bitch!

( Breathing heavily )

- ( Clicks) - What you're trying to do

can't be done.

Hell's coming down on you. I'm just along for the ride, baby.

- Want me to shoot you? - You can't kill me.

( Clicks)

- Lucky! - (laughs )

Yeah, woo-fucking-hoo, it's my lucky day, you fucking psycho!

Enjoy the ride, bitch!

Woman: Fuck you! Motherfucker! ( banging )

( Distorted speech )

( Engine starts, revving )

( Bangs ) You'll never outrun him, you crazy junkie bitch!

- Shut up, bitch! - Fuck you!

- You fucking whore! - ( accordion music plays )

- ( Bangs) - ( tuning )

Man's voice: Close your eyes.

( Rock music playing )

( Man #2 shouts )

( Tires screech )

( Engines revving )

( Man #2 vocalizing on radio )

( Engine sputters )

( Engine and radio stop )

( Mutters ) Fuck.

( Both grunt)

( Man, deep voice) For the first time in a long time

- I'm impressed. - Good. Now leave me alone.

Take her. She's given up and you know it.

You cunt!

Huh, naw... it's not her time!

Please... ( sniffles )

leave me alone.

There's still so much I wanna do.

Man: You gave me a run for my money.

Nobody's ever made me chase them that hard before,

but you can't run forever.

Fuck!

( Sizzles )

( Inhales sharply )

(gasps)

- ( Thunder crashing ) - ( footsteps squishing )

( Rain pattering )

- It's showtime! - Woman: I can't understand

why he's so afraid of the toilet.

- ( Clicks) - For young boys the most common cause

of genital injury is when the toilet seat falls down.

He's not gonna have that problem if he's going for a poo.

Loads of people have died on the toilet.

- Like who? - Elvis.

- He died on the bathroom floor. - Yeah.

Died on the toilet and then fell over.

If I were him, I'd be more scared of those screws I put in.

- They're the wrong size. - Honey, you go do a poo poo.

There's nothing to be afraid of.

Danny Glover had nothing to be afraid of in "Lethal Weapon 2."

- Shhh! - We might even have

a lethal weapon of his own in a moment.

- Uh... ( screams ) - ( rumbling )

( Bubbling )

(gasps)

Father: Whoa!

- Bleeding hellfire. That's odd. - Shh shh.

( Boy screams, crying )

That's really odd.

( Screws squeak, clink)

Look at the state--

- Whoal - ( rumbling )

What on earth?

( Sloshing )

( Banging )

( Roaring )

Call the plumber now. It's an emergency.

- Woman: What? - ( roaring )

- ( Choking ) - ( woman gasps )

Help!

- ( Woman gasping ) - ( choking )

Man: Oh! You fucking bastard! ( groans )

( Grunts)

- ( Sizzling ) - ( screams )

- Father: Oh God. - ( gurgling )

( Whimpers )

(roars)

( Grunts, gags )

( Squelching )

( Burps)

Huh? ( whimpers )

-( Roars) - ( screams )

- ( Whimpers ) - ( crickets chirping )

( Gurgles )

( Distant barking )

Hey! Hey! Wake up.

He's finally using the toilet. About fucking time.

- ( light switch clicks ) - ( clicks)

( Gurgles )

( Clothing rustles )

- ( Farting ) - ( splashing )

( Creaks, bangs )

( Rattles )

( Screaming )

( Rattles )

( Boy crying )

- ( laughing ) - ( creaking )

- ( Thunder crashing ) - ( man screaming )

- ( Dirt pattering ) - ( creature snorting )

( Wood creaking )

( Creature snorts )

- ( Banging ) - ( man grunting )

( People shouting )

- ( Creature snorting ) - ( wood creaking )

- ( Creature shrieking ) - ( man shouting )

- Stand back! - ( man #2 shouting )

( Shouts )

- ( Spitting ) - He's spitting.

He's spitting! Hold him!

( Creature grunting )

Get in!

- E nomine patris... - ( sizzling )

- ( Snarling ) - ( shouting )

I've got hold of it!

- ( Grunting ) - ( people shouting )

- (roars) - Don't! No-oooo!

- Ah! - ( chomps)

( Chokes )

( Grunts, thuds )

- ( Heavy exhale ) - ( wind blowing )

( Flare pops )

Man: Be careful, man!

- He's in here, I heard something! - ( creature chittering )

( People shouting )

I can hear it breathing!

( Snorts )

Man: Come on, let's go!

( labored breathing )

( Bow creaks )

- ( Whooshes ) - ( creature hisses )

( Arrow whooshes )

- ( Arrow thuds ) - ( shrieks )

- ( Snorts ) -(yells)

( Slaps ) Wake up! Wake up!

- ( Breathing heavily ) - ( labored breathing )

I'll make you one promise--

your children will never know how this ended.

- ( Clinks ) - ( grunting )

( Creaks )

( Muttering )

- ( Clinks ) - ( grunting )

( Creaks )

See?

Father.

Finish it!

- ( Speaking Latin ) - ( shrieking )

Geoff...

- ( grunting ) - ( shrieking )

( Gurgles )

( Static )

( Siren blaring )

( Knocks on door)

( Gun cocks )

- ( People scream ) - Man: Fuck!

( Guns firing )

( Gunshot)

( Beeps )

( Gunfire continues )

Fuck!

( Gun whirs down )

( Baby fussing )

The world is dying. It's one of the reasons

we implemented the Infant Sterilization Act.

Still, every citizen has the right to earn back their fertility permits.

The fastest route has always been through service to Propagation Control.

Oh yes, sir, it's why I joined--

that and making the world a safer place, of course.

Of course. Why do you want children?

- Propagation Control. - ( robot clanking )

You are charged with acts of terror through illegal propagation.

You are hereby ordered to surrender all contraband.

Please, you don't know what they'll do to him.

It's not up to me.

I'm sorry, there's been a misunderstanding.

You've already verified our permits.

( Thumping, squelching )

- A misunderstanding. - ( whirring )

The illegals have escaped.

We're free to go.

Free to go.

- ( Baby cries ) -( chomps)

( Spits )

(gasps)

No!

Bad, Nezbit, bad!

Man: Calm down, officer.

Your Nezbit unit simply auto-responded

- to para-psychic activity. - Commander Stoker.

Stoker: Congratulations,

you've dispatched a rather dangerous group of mentals.

- Mentals? - Telekinesis, telepathy,

mind control-- all very real.

- All valuable genetic materials. -( hums)

- (gags) - (gasps)

( Slurping )

"Materials"? We just killed a child.

Oh, it wasn't alive to begin with. Not by law.

Hmm. The rebels were delivering the child to the Vatic--

“"prophet” of all mentals.

With such power, his very existence threatens humanity,

but once we've reanimated

and bio-vac'd every last bit of brain matter,

we may finally ascertain his location.

A fine achievement, officer.

You see, the agency has a far greater purpose than its...

( sniffs, exhales )

"Public position."

You've given 10 years of service to your unit, officer.

Your records are excellent.

I'm pleased to say that your permits have been approved.

Sir. ( laughs )

- Yes sir, but-- - I'm not finished.

While your permits are approved,

there are biological factors beyond the agency's control.

Reanimate the infant.

- ( Inhales sharply ) - ( gun humming )

I can't let you do this.

Nezbit, Officer Lainey has clearly been compromised.

- ( Nezbit whirring ) - Arrest her.

I won't let you re-murder a child.

Oh, grow up!

( Nezbit whirs down )

( Grunting )

Stoker: Better a cruel truth than a comfortable delusion.

Sir!

Sir, the baby is--

Where'd he go?

( Footsteps pattering )

Sir? Did you hear that?

( Screams )

It's a mental, idiot! Shoot for the head!

Oh shit.

( Panting )

Oh, such vitality... mmm!

I'll keep the corpse alive for weeks.

Wasn't taking him to the prophet.

Farm every burning neuron.

He is the prophet.

I'll feast on its pain.

Mental: Take him. Unite the mentals.

- Oh! - You're his mother now.

- ( Cries) -(grunts)

- ( Moaning ) - Scream, witch.

No one will hear you

- as I harvest your intestines. - ( clanks )

- What? - Unhand her, witch!

- Willowford! - Wendy!

- Save me! - Now, warlock!

- ( Groans ) - ( cries out)

- ( Crackling ) - ( screaming )

( Cackling )

- What the fuck? - What's up, Tommy?

- Where the fuck have you been? - Look, the thing's almost done.

- What is that!? - Well, um, it's for animated--

it's the last frame of the animation I've been working on, remember?

- Animation? - Yeah.

We weren't even supposed to have animation!

Well, we talked about a bunch of different ideas, remember?

Look at this list of, err, "W"s I got here.

Oh my God, what the fuck is wrong with you?

We're gonna get this done. Hold on, it's a--

- Why do you do this? - Here's the thing-- walrus.

It's like a Godzilla-walrus.

It's a city-- people are being destroyed, you pan over, it's a walrus.

- Tommy: Okay? - Man: "W."

- Okay, do you have a city? - No.

- Do you have a guy in a walrus outfit? - No.

- Can you do that by this weekend? - No.

( Shouts ) Well, what the fuck are you talking about then?

- Man: Warrior. - Man #2: Super hot chick.

She's just killed a bunch of, like... trolls?

All right, whatever, she's covered in blood.

Okay. Let's do that. Let's do that this weekend.

I'm not sure I even want to do that one. I'm just saying it's an idea.

"W" is for wheelchair. It's an old man-- an evil old man.

He's in the wheelchair-- everybody hates old people.

- He gets pushed off a fucking cliff. - ( screams )

I got-- ummm...

I got-- I got nothing.

You guys! Come to the conference room. Come on, you gotta see this!

Man on TV: Nancy, I'm coming to you from downtown Hollywood.

I've got to tell you, some of the strangest things I have ever seen...

- Oh fuck, what's going on? - ...are going on right now.

If you can see, over my head, the most oddest looking colored gases.

Uh, they're like chemtrails, I guess, and they seem

to be followed by other planes and copters, and a general sense of...

- "W"! - ...panic seems to have hit the area.

Believe it or not, Nancy, we're actually getting reports

of people seeing clown zombies in the streets.

Fuckin' clown zombies? That's fucking stupid!

What, are they looking for magnets? "W"? I just...

Is that a "W" on there? What's up with these "W"s?

Man on TV: Is this some kind of self-fulfilling prophecy,

as we watch the horror

of our own minds

pushing humanity toward extinction?

Can we live in a world

that is more immoral than our own brains,

- our own ideas? - No! Don't open the door!

We live in a process that is already infested,

already mutated, already over!

- Already blank-- already blank.. - ( screaming )

...from a wave of congealed confidence!

( Echoing ) My elbows are untouchable!

My elbows are sharp!

I am transparent.

I am solid in the form of this new liberty reborn!

You-you-you are invisible in this new world!

I hover above you...

above as below.

I am legion.

A traced mindfuck of a billion bombs

dropping on your fired synapses,

your tired synapses!

You are inserted,

digested, gestated!

Lie in the waste of your own vision,

gutter punks to bigger words that you ate years ago!

That you tasted and shat upon years ago!

That you chewed and corrupted

after the seeds were buried long ago!

I am the one with seven heads!

I am the thing that laughs!

( Deep voice ) I am the thing that waits... for you!

( Witch cackling )

What the fuck?

( Gurgling )

( Train rattling )

( P.A. chimes))

( Woman speaking French over P.A.)

( Train approaching )

( Wheels squeak )

( Beeps )

( Muttering in French) Damn, I can't believe it.

Fucking fat girl!

( Train rattling )

( Mutters )

Man: So, so--

Look at that gelatin. Hey, gelatin!

Hold on, hold on.

Madame, excuse me.

You're fat, madame. You have to do something after a while.

- Woman: Yes, thanks. - No, it shows.

( laughs, shouts )

( Mimicking velociraptor )

You performed in Jurassic Park, didn't you? The Brontosaurus.

- Get out, get out! - (laughs )

- Woman: Gosh... look at this. - ( woman #2 laughs, mutters )

Hey, take a break on the peanut butter.

Oh my gosh, if I were her, I wouldn't go out.

- Oh my gosh! Hey hey hey, so true! - ( both laughing )

Ah ah ah... for sure. She can't climb up the stairs.

Woman #2: Hey, take a ride to the gym!

-(TV turns on ) - ( music playing )

( Woman speaking on TV )

( In French ) Me, with my cereal, I can manage my summer slimness.

- ( Sloshes ) - ( breathing heavily )

Slimness, flat tummy... get ready for the summer!

With low dye...

say no to fat!

- Rich in vitamins... - ( grunts)

My body loves it, as you can see!

Diet cereals make me thinner and help you keep it!

( Breathing heavily )

Me, for my hair, I use Protif!

( Heart beating )

( Inhales sharply )

( Inhales sharply ) Ah! Ah!

( Moaning, cries )

( Cries out)

(yells)

(yelling )

( Inhales sharply, grunting )

( Clatters )

( Whirring )

( Humming )

( Screaming )

( Electric buzzing )

Woman on TV: Me, with my cereals, I can manage my summer...

With low dye, rich in vitamins...

my body loves it as you can see!

( Gasping )

( Thuds, moans )

( Rock music playing )

( Snorts, breathes heavily )

( Snorts, breathing heavily )

( Snorts, breathing heavily )

( Mouths )

( Screaming )

( Music continues )

( Snorts, breathing heavily )

( Woman's voice echoing ) March 11th,

radioactivity completely covered our shitty country-- Japan.

The Rising Sun was flooded with cesium.

Our soft-bellied government officials covered it all up

and our DNA underwent a violent transformation.

- Our cells were forever altered... - ( clicks)

...and the people of Japan welcomed

a new century of mutants.

Japanese food products are totally safe.

Nuclear energy is also safe.

It's a gift from our beloved,

- nice country America. - ( gunshot)

( Rock "Star-Spangled Banner" playing )

( Man speaking, distorted )

( Gasps, screams )

(in Japanese) Our technology is simple.

Even an inferior nation can use it.

It is fully automatic and indestructible.

- ( Man yells ) - ( screams )

(gasps)

- (crying ) - ( chitters )

( Moans )

( In Japanese ) Our talented personnel are totally talented

and our shitty bastards are perfectly shitty.

White means white-skinned human. Not black, nor yellow, nor red.

(crying )

( Clanks )

( Screaming )

( laughing )

( In English) Made in America.

( In Japanese ) Ever since Kunta Kinte was abducted by America,

the blacks have harbored a hatred for the whites.

- ( Man yelling ) - ( screaming continues )

( Buzzing )

( Shouts )

( Grunts)

- ( Shouts ) - ( both grunting )

( Screaming )

( In English ) Let's change the way of saying "nuclear energy.”

It's more accurate to say "fission-cultivated electricity.”

Have no fear. Small and lightweight,

their outer walls are made more thin and weak than usual.

( Explosion )

- ( Explosion ) - ( laughing )

(in Japanese) We yellow people love tangerines!

Japanese are superior sons of bitches!

My Emperor!

- ( Chimes ) - (in English ) It is standing!

( Feedback )

( Rock music playing )

♪ Watch a horror movie right thereon my TV ♪

♪ Horror movie right there onmy TV ♪

♪ Horror movie right thereon my TV ♪

♪ Shocking me right out of my brains ♪

♪ Shocking me right out of my brains...♪

( feedback )

♪ Watch a horror movie right thereon my TV ♪

♪ Horror movie right there onmy TV ♪

♪ Horror movie right thereon my TV ♪

♪ Shocking me right out of my brains ♪

♪ Shocking me right out of my brains ♪

♪ It's bound to get ya in, get ya under your skin ♪

♪ Hit you right on the chin, oh yeah ♪

♪ It's bound to be a thriller, it's bound to be a chiller ♪

♪ It's bound to be a killer, oh yeah ♪

♪ Watch a horror movie right thereon my TV ♪

♪ Horror movie right there onmy TV ♪

♪ Horror movie right thereon my TV ♪

♪ Shocking me right out of my brains ♪

♪ Shocking me right out of my brains... ♪

( feedback )

♪ The planes are a-crashin', the cars are a-smashin' ♪

♪ They come for a-bashin', oh yeah ♪

♪ The kids are a-fightin' ♪

♪ The fires are a-lightin' ♪

♪ The dogs are a-bitin', oh yeah ♪

♪ Watch a horror movie right thereon my TV ♪

♪ Horror movie right there on my TV ♪

♪ Horror movie right thereon my TV ♪

♪ Shocking me right out of my brains ♪

♪ Shocking me right out of my brains ♪

( feedback )

♪ You think it's just a movie on a silver screen ♪

♪ And they're all actors and fake all scenes ♪

♪ Maybe you don't care who's gonna lose or win ♪

♪ Listen to this and I'll tell you somethin' ♪

♪ It's a horror movie right thereon my TV ♪

♪ Horror movie right there on my TV ♪

♪ Horror movie and there's known abuse ♪

♪ Horror movie, it's the 6:30 news ♪

♪ Horror movie, it's the 6:30 news ♪

♪ The public's waitin' for the killin' and the hatin' ♪

♪ Switch on your station, oh yeah ♪

♪ They do a lot a-sellin' 'tween the firin' and the yellin' ♪

♪ You believe in what they're tellin', oh yeah ♪

♪ It's a horror movie right thereon my TV ♪

♪ Horror movie right there on my TV ♪

♪ Horror movie and there's known abuse ♪

♪ Horror movie, it's the 6:30 news ♪

♪ Horror movie, it's the 6:30 news ♪

♪ And it's shocking me ♪

♪ Right out of my brains. ♪

( Woman crying )

( Woman speaking Spanish, echoing ) And, you know?

You aren't brave.

Neither unique nor original.

You are so basic.

(gasps)

So primal.

I can't even remember...

- ( feedback ) - ( man panting )

( Humming, beeping )

( Man #2 grunting )

( Dinging, clacking )

( Man #2 screams )

( Man speaks Japanese ) What's wrong, Kawabe?

- ( Feedback ) - ( woman screams )

( Shit squeaking )

( Woman screaming )

- ( Pounds on door)) - ( man speaks )

- ( Feedback ) - ( man screams, grunting )

- ( Feedback ) - ( toilet rattling, gurgling )

- ( Feedback ) - ( Shane speaks )

Bird: "Oh, that feels good. Shane, you're amazing."

"Oh oh oh oh..."

- ( Feedback ) - ( woman breathing deeply )

- ( Feedback ) - ( dance music playing )

- ( Feedback ) - ( duck quacks )

Adam: Ahhh, fuck!

Let's kill this fucking duck.

Juan, you might wanna back up just a little bit.

- ( Feedback ) - ( banging )

- ( Feedback ) - ( thuds)

Man: For the first time in a long time

- I'm impressed. - Woman: Good. Now leave me alone.

Take her. She's given up and you know it.

Woman #2: You cunt!

- ( Feedback ) - ( man laughing )

( Bangs )

- ( Feedback ) - ( man speaks )

- ( Banging ) - ( creature shrieking )

- ( Man speaks ) - ( creature shrieking )

- ( Banging ) - ( shouting )

- ( Feedback ) - Lainey: I can't let you do this.

Stoker: Nezbit, Officer Lainey has clearly been compromised.

Arrest her.

Lainey: I won't let you re-murder a child.

- Stoker: Oh, grow up! - ( gunshot)

( Lainey grunting )

Stoker: Better a cruel truth than a comfortable delusion.

Technician: Sir...

sir, the baby is...

Where'd he go?

( Footsteps pattering )

Technician: Sir? Did you hear that?

( Lainey panting )

Stoker: Such vitality... mmm!

I'll keep the corpse alive for weeks...

- ( feedback ) - Witch: Scream, witch.

No one will hear you

- as I harvest your intestines. - ( clanks )

- What? - Man: Unhand her, witch!

- Woman: Willowford! - Willowford: Wendy!

- Wendy: Save me! - Witch: Now, warlock!

- ( Warlock groans ) - ( Willowford cries out )

- ( Electricity crackling ) - ( Willowford screaming )

( Feedback )

( Woman speaks French ) Me, with my cereal

I can manage my summer slimness.

- ( Woman #2 eating ) - Woman: Slimness, flat tummy...

- get ready for the summer! - ( grunting )

With low dye...

Say no to fat!

- Rich in vitamins... - ( grunts)

My body loves it, as you can see!

- ( Feedback ) - ( rock music playing )

- ( Feedback ) - ( Man, in English ) It's a gift from

- our beloved nice country America. - ( gunshot)

( Whooshing )

( Rock "Star-Spangled Banner" playing )

- ( Woman screams ) - ( electronic humming )

( High-pitched hum )