Original subtitles

CONCRETE COCK

Well, are you deaf?

Oh, I'm sick, I feel bloated.

Where does it hurt? Here or there?

Ouch, ouch...

I want to throw up.

Do you want me to massage you?

I'll make you some herbal tea.

What could have caused this to me?

The banana sauerkraut?

Or maybe the kirch flavored snail salad?

You and your taste for trendy restaurants...

As soon as I can get up, I'll blow up that dump with dynamite.

Crooks in the restaurant business is one thing,

but criminals is quite another.

Speaking of crooks, don't forget you start shooting your porn movie today.

-They'll have to do without me. -It won't get done by itself.

Say, Dominique, I have an idea.

Ouch, this is more serious than I thought.

Why don't you shoot it for me?

Now he's delirious. I'm calling the doctor.

I'm talking seriously.

Your mother warned me you were a loony,

but now you're ready for the infirmary.

You'll see, it's not difficult. Just say 'Action', and 'Cut'.

You follow the script, everything is written on it.

What about your assistants?

They worked for the New Wave directors, and now they're unemployed.

Their spirits are willing but their flesh is weak. They aren't pleasure-seekers.

Whereas you're a true pleasure-seeker...

You keep bitching about the exploitation of women in porn...

Now, here's your chance to take your revenge.

But I've never done that.

What about me?

I used to be a sewing machine sales representative...

and one thing lead to another, and here I am.

But you're a man.

If I didn't feel that bad, I'd laugh.

Get dressed, take the car, the script and the address.

I'll take care of the producer.

But how am I going to do it, Hervé?

It's easy. Think about the taxes, the rent, the gas bill we have to pay.

Never forget that porn enables us to eat.

See where it led you to...

Hurry up, I beg you...

Watch one of my films again. Wet Penetrations, for example.

It's the most stupid of them all.

Imagine you're the main character. It's easy, it'll come naturally.

-Do you like it? -Oh, yes...

It feels good...

Oh yes...

Come...

Faster...

Oh, you make me wet...

You wanted it, eh?

Yes!

Oh yes...

Fuck me, yes...

Give me more...

Oh, you fuck me good...

-It's good, eh? -Yes, like that...

Deep inside...

Softly, now...

Turn around...

Oh yes... Like that...

It's so good...

Fuck me harder!

Harder!

More... More!

Oh, it's too much...

It's so good!

Better that way, eh?

It hurts...

Faster, faster...

Yes, can you feel it?

Yes, it's good...

Yes, that was nice...

Yes, I'm coming, I'm coming!

- Hello, I'm... - Nice to meet you. We were expecting you.

- Do the actors know that I... - Oh, no...

They're only interested in getting their check in time tonight.

Can you introduce them to me please?

OK but let's make it quick, we're already 20 minutes, 15 seconds late.

Richard, can you come over for a second?

Come on, come on...

- Good evening, are you a newbie? - No, she's...

I see... First time doing porn?

- Shyness, stage fright? Come on. - You are wrong!

Come on, you can't fool me.

Do you know what they call me? Concrete cock!

350 films in 5 years. I'm in the dictionary.

- I'm the wife of... - Oh, I don't want to know.

I am married too, I have kids.

Look, let me introduce you to my wife. Liliane!

Can you come, darling?

Hello.

- How are you? - Well... what about you?

Oh, it comes and goes...

I believe that all in all, we are on the right track.

- Say, do you practice sodomy? - Pardon?

I'm asking you because...

I told the director that my wife does it, but it's not true.

- Really? - So you see, we could work it out.

If you replace Liliane in the close-ups...

I'll give you a small percentage of her fee.

I can reassure you right away, Richard is an expert in that field.

They call him the Velvet Piston...

Oh... Don't exaggerate...

Why don't we give it a try before the director arrives?

I am the director! Well, his wife, actually.

I'm replacing him. He's ill.

Okay, but that doesn't solve anything.

The scenario mentions sodomy and I'm not doing it.

So, what's going on? Are we shooting this scene or what?

There's no one to do the sodomy.

- Well, what about you? - Are you kidding me?

Not when I'm working.

That's just the way it is.

Go on...

What about a 69, now, eh?

Let me lick you...

Yes, from behind...

Good position...

That's a nice snack, eh?

Come on, let's get on the job.

Lick her good...

Suck my balls!

It's good... Yes, go on...

Yes, it's good... Go on like this.

Oh, that ass!

Lick my ass...

Go on...

Yes, eat my ass! It's so good... Damn!

Don't stop...

So good!

You like that, eh, bitch?

- You slut! - Goon...

I'm so wet...

Yes, you're wet... You know you're a real bitch...

You already knew you were a bitch, eh?

- I'm gonna fuck you! - Yes, fuck me...

- I'm gonna give it to you! - Keep fucking me!

It's good, eh?

Oh, it's too much...

Can you feel it?

It's so good...

Yes, more... more!

Stand side by side...

You both want some cock, eh?

Oh, yes...

Yes, touch me...

You're soaking wet...

Take that... and that...

Ah, it's good...

Yes, rub your clit...

- You like that, eh? - Oh, yes!

Yes, rub my clit...

Do you feel it coming?

You little slut!

Ah, it's good...

I'm coming...

Wait, wait for me...

I'll be back soon.

More...

How about you? What a nice pussy!

- Take that... - Fuck me...

Yes, like that...

It's good, eh? Better than a finger...

- It's good, eh? - Yes, harder!

Do you like my Eskimo pie?

Go on...

It's gonna be better in the other hole...

Stick your cock in my asshole!

Yeah, don't worry about it...

Oh, shit...

- Oh, yes, go on... - You're so tight!

It's gonna be good! It's so goddamn tight...

You're hurting me!

It's gonna feel better... better...

- Does it feel good? - Oh, yes.

- That's better, eh? - Yes, that's better.

You like that, bitch?

It slides in smoothly now...

God, it's so good...

- You like it up your ass, eh? - Faster...

OK, faster...

- The other hole, yes... - There...

- You like that, too? - Oh, yes...

You like that, eh? My big cock in your pussy...

Yes, in my pussy!

Cut!

Very nice!

Now I know why my husband is so exhausted when he comes home after work!

The shower is over there.

Get out of here!

Now we're doing the dildo scene.

Put the camera in the kitchen.

Don't forget the salt, the pepper and the seasoning.

Hey, Richard, do you think I'm stupid?

I can see through your game, you know...

What are you talking about?

You shagged the director to get a role in her next movie, didn't you?

You're crazy, you should thank her.

You can't blame me for not liking sodomy.

How can you be so sure? You never wanted to try...

My mind just won't let it slip inside.

We're not going to discuss this again.

Alright, Ma'am...

Go see Dominique and apologize for being such a coward.

Okay, I'll butter her up a bit.

Can I come in?

- How do you feel? - I feel fine.

I thought you'd be worn out.

I wouldn't mind doing it again actually.

Great, you're a fast learner. You're going to make a career out of this.

- Could you rub my back, please? - Yes, of course.

Like that?

A little lower, please, I'm still wet.

Lick it faster...

Yes, faster...

I'm getting wet...

Oh, it's good...

You lick me good...

Make me come...

Faster...

You lick me so well...

Yes, it's good...

Come on, everyone get ready! Come on, kids...

Everyone get ready, I said! Come on, everyone in place.

- We're shooting scene 8. - Yes.

There's some acting...

- It'll give us a break. - Why do you need it?

To learn your lines?

Yes, for instance. Obviously, nobody knows them.

Hey! We fuck, we act, we prepare lunch...

Don't ask us to have a good memory, too.

Come on, we're shooting the shittiest movie ever,

so we might as well do it cheerfully, as the song goes.

Is this when I masturbate with a watering can?

Yes, you go over there. Be careful, darling.

- Don't fall flat on your face! - Oh, it's dark in here...

So, I'm sitting down...

and I go: "Hey, You look hot, cutie”.

Put more emotion in it...

Like Humphrey Bogart in The Big Sleep.

- Do you know Bogart? - Yes, the painter?

- Hey, what are you doing here? - Well, I'm cleaning, why?

Don't you see we're shooting a movie?

My bosses didn't tell me. Is it for TV?

Yes, it's Circus Time. Don't you recognize me?

Oh, Mr. Malabar! I watch your show every week!

I thought you were bigger!

Come this way, I'll show you our glorious backstage.

Well, speaking about glory, I don't have much talent...

Don't lie, I'm sure you'll become a TV announcer.

- Are you kidding? - Not when I'm working.

You found the right person, I am a recruiter for television...

I'm the one who tests the candidates.

Look at how lucky I am! Are you going to hook me up?

That's exactly what I had in mind.

My odometer shows so many digits...

I was just waiting for you to reset it.

I don't understand a word you say!

It's coded language. I'm highly skilled, got it?

Get what I'm saying?

No? Well, let's go anyway.

Nice... Very nice...

Why did you stop?

I'm taking my clothes off.

Suck!

Come on, suck it.

Yeah...

It's gonna feel good.

You're really good at it...

Say...

You have oral skills... You're already very talented...

Hey!

Yeah, that's good!

Yes, go on! That's good.

Oh, my!

That's not bad either!

Shove your cock deeper!

- Can you feel it? - Oh, yes...

Oh, my...

Oh, you were made for this job!

Oh, yes... Rub my clit...

Oh, my...

That's good...

Gee!

- You turn me on! - Things are heating up!

Wait...

- Harder! - It's better like this!

I'm gonna spin it around.

Faster!

More!

Yes... Yes...

Oh, it feels good!

Right, left... Right, left... Better like this, eh?

Fuck me again!

Yeah, but don't shout like that, the team is going to hear,

and the director is going to come.

So good!

Come this way.

Come here, I'll show you the way.

Let me do...

- Look... You see what I mean? - Oh yes...

You saw it coming, didn't you?

Bang me hard!

Yes, like that...

Yes, more...

You make me feel good...

Me too...

Yes, touch me...

Can you feel my big cock?

- Can you feel the assistant's cock? - Yes, I can feel it...

- You like it? - Yes...

I'm good at household chores, eh?

Go on...

I'm coming...

More!

Oh, that's too much!

I'm gonna scream...

It's so good...

What a big load...

That's heavenly...

That was good.

It feels good going down my throat...

May I remind you we have 23 minutes and 30 seconds to finish our lunch?

On a porn shoot, lunch is the only truly exhilarating moment.

I'm not very hungry, my stomach is tied up in knots.

It happens to a lot of directors. Stress causes stomach aches.

I remember when I worked with Godard...

Oh no, another one who's seen it all, heard it all.

TV one day, avant-garde film the next day...

He's 25 years old and he talks like a veteran!

Let him talk, at least. Who is this Godard?

Does he shoot porn?

OK, I'll shut my trap so I won't be misunderstood.

My cock has been sucked so many times...

Yeah, I know 350 movies, they call you the jackhammer of porn.

Well, if you were in my place, man,

you would have collapsed a long time ago,

your chisel would be blunt and your engine out of gas.

You also speak in code?

Say, instead of trying to give us complexes,

would you agree to defend that title of yours?

Three girls in 26 minutes and 40 seconds.

If I were you, I wouldn't try.

Don't forget my husband won the World Cup.

Let the kid have his dreams...

You should never discourage enthusiasm.

I don't want to interfere, but I think it's suicidal.

Especially since I'm not the kind of girl who comes easily.

I see, you're all scared.

Very well. I shall defend my title, then.

Just tell me your parents' address in case something happens to you.

That's a nice start...

Do it right, eh?

Don't go too far, you two...

Yes, that's good.

You too are good at sucking.

I'm gonna break that record, you'll see...

Yeah, we'll see...

Go on. Hurry up, will you?

Yes, that's good, too.

Hey, Richard! Your wife is good at sucking!

Oh yes, that's good, too.

OK, OK...

Careful, eh?

Come here...

You stay here...

You go there... like that...

There...

Oh, yes... It feels like butter...

Oh, it's good...

That's a nice start...

Oh, it's good...

Oh, that's good...

A bit faster...

A piece of cake...

Next one... Quick, quick...

Let's see...

- Can you feel my big cock? - Yes, that's good...

Yes, harder!

You're gonna feel hot... I know you are, come on...

Come on, that's good...

Goddamn! I've got to hurry!

- Your cock is so hard... - Yes, it is hard!

That's good...

Bang me hard!

Quick!

Go away!

- I'm so wet... - Yes, that's good...

- That's good... - Harder!

Faster, faster...

That's good...

Deep down inside...

I'm such a slut!

Say something dirty...

You bitch!

You like the assistant's cock, eh?

More!

- You like that? - Oh yes...

Shove your cock deeper!

This one's good... So good...

I think we're gonna make it!

Make me scream!

Wait, I'll be back...

Oh, that's good...

This one is a winner!

I have to hurry...

Yes, it's coming...

Faster!

- Faster! - Faster...

The final sprint...

God... Oh God!

Hello, how are you?

Your turn.

Quick, quick... It's good...

I can feel it... I feel it coming...

- You turn me on... - Yes, like that...

- Yes, it's coming... - Take me like that...

- It's good from behind... - Can you feel it?

Oh, shit! Wait...

- I'm back in... - Hurry up!

Harder!

Yes, like that... It's good!

Oh yes, I'm coming!

More!

There!

Fuck me hard!

I won't make it!

Go on...

I know, I know... Oh, my!

Another one! Move away...

Quick, quick!

- My turn! - Yes, I'm coming, girls!

Take that!

That's good! It's so hot, it's so good...

Wait... Your turn, now!

One after the other...

We're almost there... I can see the finish line!

Oh, yes, it's good...

The second round is good, too.

Hey, you want some, too?

Last one!

The final sprint!

Oh, it's so good!

Yes, spread it all over...

26 minutes and 39 seconds.

The new record is one second less!

It reminds me of the Grand Steeplechase in Auteuil.

Let me shake your hand. You have style.

You know what? I didn't really polish it up.

That just whetted my appetite.

If you're all like that on TV,

I think I'm going to apply for a job!

- I must admit that was a first class ride. - Thank you.

Sorry to interrupt the medal ceremony, but time flies and our movie is waiting.

Let's do it then. We're truly part of the avant-garde.

Have you ever thought of that? Porn is the future!

As long as TV announcers have clothes on,

I will still feel like I live in the Middle Ages.

Everyone gets ready.

Time for a triple penetration with a somersault and landing on the hands.

Is the first aid kit ready? Let's go, then!

Yes, let's go! Gee, let's go!

Say, Mr. Malabar...

I apologize for asking this, but...

What is it, my little bird? Do you want an autograph?

If it isn't too demanding for your health,

I'd like you to finish me off, José made me really horny...

and I hate dildos!

You ask me so kindly that I can't refuse.

Maybe I'm too cheeky,

but I saw you fuck in pancake batter in one of your movies.

- I almost ate my panties! - You liked it, little rabbit?

I remember, it was in '76.

That's right, with Baudricourt, an expert... in pornography.

At that time, they knew how to talk to ladies.

Would you like to reenact it with me?

Some kind of remake?

Oh thank you Mr. Malabar, let me kiss your hand.

No, lower, lower, and concentrate.

Oh, I'm so wet...

Can you feel the lumps?

It turns you on, eh?

You got lumps in your pussy?

You wanna get fucked, you little bitch?

Nice baby's bottle, eh?

That's a good one, eh?

You still manage to turn me on...

Suck it good...

It's good...

Come here.

Come, darling.

- I'm gonna bang your pussy... - Oh, yes...

Like that...

My little baker's girl...

My, oh, my...

- I love baking... - You like it, eh?

Here's a good crunchy cock for you!

It's so hot...

It's good, eh? Even with the lumps...

Oh, my...

It's a bit sticky, though...

- It's even better. - Pancake batter is so good!

Yes, it's even better!

Oh, don't stop...

Come!

- Shove it deep, yes... - Yes!

More...

I can feel your cock...

Sticky, isn't it?

Can you feel it?

If I stop, I'll get stuck...

Look, it dries quickly.

- Are you going to come now? - Fuck me!

What do you think I'm doing right now?

Lazing around? What do you think?

Can't you feel it?

Oh, yes... Make me come till I die!

It's good now, it's getting hard.

Yes... It's getting dry... Yes...

You're such a good cook!

Oh, I'm going to come...

I'm going to bake you in the oven soon...

You're ready, eh?

- Oh, I'm coming! - Yes...

More, more!

Faster... Oh, yes!

More...

So good...

You like that, bitch?

You like that, don't you?

That was good, eh?

- Thanks. - They are very good!

They are not very thick.

It's my specialty, erotic pancakes.

We intend to open a creperie, actually.

We will do a demonstration...

every evening in front of our customers.

It's going to be something!

It will become a trendy restaurant for people in the cinema industry!

I know those kind of weird restaurants, my husband is in bed because of them.

Okay, kids, we have one more scene to shoot.

- I bet it's an orgy. - How did you guess?

Well, I can suggest something new:

an orgy in spaghetti.

So what do you say?

Liar! We already did that two weeks ago in Double Penetrations.

Well, okay. Do you want something new?

What about an orgy in paper streamers!

It's not very original, but it costs less than spaghetti.

Especially since we have 12 francs 13 centimes left in the cash register.

Let's go.

First, you're going to get naked, right?

And then you go there, very slowly...

So, aren't you disappointed with the sex industry, Dominique?

It seems to me you really have to work your butt off.

Sure... You have to get your hands dirty from time to time!

I don't think I'll go on any further.

Too bad, we could have become friends.

On the other hand, a musical sounds rather appealing.

- Really? What kind? - Well, something like...

Something like...

Let's go!

Come here! Let's get rid of that table.

Yeah, push it away...

Let's unroll the carpet.

Yes, that's good...

Where are you? Oh, you're here!

Oh, lick me...

Go on like this...

Ah, yes!

Well, if you join her...

I like your balls...

I'd like to suck them...

Keep touching them...

Don't swallow the paper streamers...

Oh, you take it deep down your throat...

Oh yes, more...

Oh, lick me!

That's good, eh? You like to be licked, eh?

I'm gonna stick my big cock in now...

- Yes, stick it in... - Better than a tongue, eh?

Deep inside...

You like that, eh?

- Good, eh? - Yes, it's good!

You craved for it, eh?

You turn me on...

I'm gonna come...

- Ah, it's good! - Go find it...

- It's so good! - It's under the paper streamers.

Push them away.

It's here!

Where are you? We can't see anything here!

Yes, it's good!

- Oh, tear me up... - Go on...

Oh, deeper...

Oh, yes, hurt me...

Yes, touch yourself, it turns me on...

Me too...

It's good...

I wanna come harder...

- Take that! - Yes, more...

More... Ah, yes!

Can you feel my big cock?

You like it, like it, like it!

That's good, eh?

I like it when you take me from behind.

I like your hairy ass...

Your big fat ass...

I'm gonna take it, too.

Let's change positions now.

Come on top of me...

A new ass, a new pussy...

Who wants to suck me? Go on!

My cock is good, eh?

Here's Richard's cock!

It's a good one...

Go for it, girls! Who wants it?

- Me... Me... - Eh?

- You bitch! - Me... Me...

You like cock, eh?

Yes, go on.

Your turn, now...

Deep down... Swallow it all, eh?

Swallow it all... like that!

Oh, it's good between your tits!

Oh, yes, all over me...

In your eyes? You want it in your eyes?

Yes, it's good!

Good...

- You're a beast! - I'm a beast, right?

- You like it when I fuck you hard, eh? - Yes, I like it!

Yeah, lick it good...

- Yes, turn me on... - There!

Yes... Take that...

Yes, that's good...

THE END