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1
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_
2
00:00:02,602 --> 00:00:07,405
♪
3
00:00:07,411 --> 00:00:08,611
Ew.
4
00:00:08,617 --> 00:00:09,916
It's the Yellow Pages.
5
00:00:10,128 --> 00:00:11,737
I know. That's what the "ew" was for.
6
00:00:11,743 --> 00:00:13,237
It's stupid and it's ugly and I hate.
7
00:00:13,243 --> 00:00:15,557
I'm in here. Under "Gilded Lotus."
8
00:00:15,563 --> 00:00:18,739
- Ooh, Gilded Lotus.
- It's the name of my business.
9
00:00:18,745 --> 00:00:20,814
It sounds like a vagina-piercing place.
10
00:00:20,820 --> 00:00:23,901
No, it doesn't. It's a
play on "gilding the lily."
11
00:00:23,907 --> 00:00:25,712
So why didn't you just
call it "Gilded Lily"?
12
00:00:25,718 --> 00:00:27,103
Because that name was taken.
13
00:00:28,017 --> 00:00:29,407
By a vagina-piercing place.
14
00:00:29,413 --> 00:00:31,691
You know, when I'm
interested in hiring someone,
15
00:00:31,697 --> 00:00:34,482
- the first thing I do is I get the phone book...
- Yeah.
16
00:00:34,488 --> 00:00:36,082
- and if their name is in here...
- Right?
17
00:00:36,088 --> 00:00:38,503
I don't hire them. It's 2019.
18
00:00:38,509 --> 00:00:40,790
It's all about branding
yourself on social media.
19
00:00:40,796 --> 00:00:43,438
It just so happens I'm in
a ton of Facebook groups.
20
00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:46,735
And I tweet up a storm.
I am on Instagram.
21
00:00:46,741 --> 00:00:48,932
You have 14 followers.
22
00:00:48,938 --> 00:00:51,424
It's not about quantity.
It's about quality.
23
00:00:51,430 --> 00:00:53,882
No, it's about quantity. You're wrong.
24
00:00:54,366 --> 00:00:56,571
Oh god, yeah, e-even
Mae doesn't follow you.
25
00:00:56,577 --> 00:00:59,382
- Mae is a tough nut to crack...
- She follows Arthur.
26
00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:03,097
Okay, don't worry. I'm gonna help you.
27
00:01:03,103 --> 00:01:07,120
If you want your business to blow
up, you have to project success.
28
00:01:07,126 --> 00:01:09,988
- Are you suggesting...
- I think we should buy you some followers.
29
00:01:09,994 --> 00:01:11,417
You can Venmo me back.
30
00:01:11,932 --> 00:01:14,834
I don't have that. I
can write you a check.
31
00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:16,716
[SIGHS] I can't even
look at you right now.
32
00:01:16,722 --> 00:01:18,708
♪
33
00:01:18,714 --> 00:01:21,981
♪ Keep giving me hope for a better day ♪
34
00:01:21,987 --> 00:01:25,388
♪ Keep giving me love to find a way ♪
35
00:01:25,490 --> 00:01:29,674
♪ Through this heaviness
I feel, I just need ♪
36
00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:35,166
- ♪ Someone to say everything's okay ♪
- Sync/Corrections PetaG - addic7ed.com -
37
00:01:35,172 --> 00:01:37,258
- ♪ Everything's okay ♪
- Mm...?
38
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:38,770
Your very own bedroom.
39
00:01:39,086 --> 00:01:41,484
Look at this, man. How cool is this?
40
00:01:42,042 --> 00:01:44,153
- Did you say utilities were included?
- [BEEPING]
41
00:01:44,159 --> 00:01:47,651
- Yep. And the best part is...
- [RATTLING]
42
00:01:47,657 --> 00:01:49,364
lint time!
43
00:01:49,940 --> 00:01:52,426
You never know what you're
gonna find in the lint filter.
44
00:01:52,432 --> 00:01:54,046
♪
45
00:01:54,052 --> 00:01:55,507
Ta-da!
46
00:01:55,513 --> 00:01:57,454
Wow. 25 cents.
47
00:01:57,556 --> 00:01:59,841
You know, just because I
live in the laundry room,
48
00:01:59,847 --> 00:02:02,437
don't expect me to fold
everyone else's clothes.
49
00:02:02,443 --> 00:02:04,068
Learning a trade would be good for you.
50
00:02:05,872 --> 00:02:07,982
Hey, hey! I-I'll take that.
51
00:02:07,988 --> 00:02:10,771
Easy, buddy. What's up
with you and the turtle?
52
00:02:10,777 --> 00:02:13,177
Gee, I don't know. What's
up with you and my mom?
53
00:02:14,169 --> 00:02:15,583
Excuse me? What...
54
00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:17,540
Hey, is everything okay?
55
00:02:17,546 --> 00:02:20,155
Hmm? Is this about the laundry?
Because you don't have to really do it.
56
00:02:20,161 --> 00:02:21,835
It ain't about the laundry.
57
00:02:22,113 --> 00:02:24,373
It's just I don't like prying questions.
58
00:02:24,379 --> 00:02:26,700
And I can see that you don't, either.
59
00:02:26,706 --> 00:02:28,411
So let's just remember that.
60
00:02:28,989 --> 00:02:30,975
♪
61
00:02:30,981 --> 00:02:34,376
Hey, you guys, it's Tamryn
Tomas Vandaloo... TTV.
62
00:02:34,493 --> 00:02:37,499
You guys, is this mole growing?
63
00:02:37,505 --> 00:02:38,705
[GROANS]
64
00:02:38,711 --> 00:02:41,176
It's like, "Seriously,
mole? Right now, mole?
65
00:02:41,182 --> 00:02:42,491
You're gonna do this?"
66
00:02:42,497 --> 00:02:45,566
Anyway, I am currently in my
daughter Rabbit's playroom,
67
00:02:45,572 --> 00:02:47,856
and, as you can see, it's really gross
68
00:02:47,862 --> 00:02:49,350
and she never, ever wants to be here.
69
00:02:49,356 --> 00:02:51,658
Does anyone have any pro tips?
70
00:02:52,056 --> 00:02:53,276
- [CLICKING]
- "Chair swing.
71
00:02:54,369 --> 00:02:58,335
Massive wall decal with
shelves you can climb.
72
00:02:58,733 --> 00:03:00,844
Bring the outdoors in."
73
00:03:01,233 --> 00:03:03,614
Hey. You guys grammin'?
74
00:03:03,620 --> 00:03:05,030
Are you just lurkin'?
75
00:03:05,036 --> 00:03:06,636
I used to be a lurker m'self.
76
00:03:06,842 --> 00:03:09,762
Hey, there's a lotta new
content on my page these days.
77
00:03:09,768 --> 00:03:11,068
Unsubscribe.
78
00:03:11,341 --> 00:03:12,677
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES]
- [SIGHS]
79
00:03:12,683 --> 00:03:13,958
Oh, schnapp!
80
00:03:13,964 --> 00:03:17,267
Mom's blowin' up! I just
got a reply from TTV.
81
00:03:17,369 --> 00:03:21,272
Stop it. Mason, she loves my
ideas. She wants to discuss.
82
00:03:21,651 --> 00:03:23,565
TTV! So cool.
83
00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:25,552
- Sounds like a bot.
- You're a bot.
84
00:03:25,558 --> 00:03:26,833
[CLICKING]
85
00:03:27,768 --> 00:03:29,456
- [SIGHS] Lena.
- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
86
00:03:29,462 --> 00:03:30,861
- Hey.
- We have a problem.
87
00:03:31,130 --> 00:03:32,711
I found this in Milo's book bag.
88
00:03:32,717 --> 00:03:35,312
It's the Room Mom sign-up sheet.
89
00:03:35,318 --> 00:03:37,620
Oh, I-I don't think I
can do that this year.
90
00:03:37,626 --> 00:03:39,438
I'm trying to get my
business off the ground.
91
00:03:39,444 --> 00:03:41,131
[SIGHS] Oh, yeah. Pink Lotus.
92
00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:43,691
- Gilded Lotus. I'm changing it.
- Oh.
93
00:03:43,697 --> 00:03:45,722
What, are you gonna hang
up your Room Mom Keds?
94
00:03:45,728 --> 00:03:47,018
Turning in your glue gun?
95
00:03:47,024 --> 00:03:50,105
Between Mae, Mason, and the
last four years with Milo,
96
00:03:50,111 --> 00:03:52,222
I've been Room Mom for over a decade.
97
00:03:53,620 --> 00:03:55,122
Come on. You're not seriously
98
00:03:55,128 --> 00:03:56,820
- gonna make me feel bad about this.
- No, no, no...
99
00:03:56,826 --> 00:03:59,808
I'm not trying to make you feel
guilty. I swear it. I-I just...
100
00:04:00,210 --> 00:04:01,706
I'm worried about Milo...
101
00:04:01,712 --> 00:04:04,013
you know? I don't know if it's
a delayed reaction to the divorce
102
00:04:04,019 --> 00:04:07,057
or it's because we've moved
him into the laundry room,
103
00:04:07,346 --> 00:04:09,456
but the kid is just not himself.
104
00:04:09,462 --> 00:04:10,662
- ♪
- [WASHING MACHINE WHIRRING]
105
00:04:10,668 --> 00:04:12,659
Hey! It looks great in here.
106
00:04:12,665 --> 00:04:14,470
Yeah, I love what you've
done with the place, bud.
107
00:04:14,476 --> 00:04:15,862
- [WASHING MACHINE CHIMES]
- Oh!
108
00:04:17,049 --> 00:04:19,406
- Oh, thank you for that.
- No problem.
109
00:04:19,412 --> 00:04:21,809
So, um..
110
00:04:22,052 --> 00:04:23,458
- it looks like I'm not
- [DOOR CLOSES]
111
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,458
gonna be able to be Room Mom this year.
112
00:04:25,464 --> 00:04:27,442
That's fine. I know women everywhere
113
00:04:27,448 --> 00:04:29,966
are counting on you for
their hysterectomies.
114
00:04:29,972 --> 00:04:31,918
Okay, that's not what I do.
115
00:04:31,924 --> 00:04:33,209
- Oh, no?
- No.
116
00:04:33,215 --> 00:04:37,317
I want to help people by
decorating their houses.
117
00:04:37,323 --> 00:04:39,598
Oh, well, that's also important work.
118
00:04:39,604 --> 00:04:41,921
But I wanna make sure
you don't feel neglected.
119
00:04:41,927 --> 00:04:45,263
On the contrary. Don't worry
about me. Please. Carry on.
120
00:04:46,897 --> 00:04:48,097
Ah.
121
00:04:48,286 --> 00:04:50,465
Oh, okay. Maybe...
122
00:04:50,471 --> 00:04:53,475
- there's a way I can figure out how to...
- Ask me to be Room Mom?
123
00:04:53,559 --> 00:04:56,165
No need. I am on it! I'm in!
124
00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:58,263
You're not exactly Room Mom material...
125
00:04:58,269 --> 00:05:01,320
No, I am not, son. I
am Room Dad material.
126
00:05:01,326 --> 00:05:04,609
I'm gonna dad that room until
it forgets it even had a mom.
127
00:05:05,310 --> 00:05:07,711
- Really, Martin? Are you sure?
- Yes.
128
00:05:07,919 --> 00:05:10,416
Yeah, you know what? It's my turn, okay?
129
00:05:10,422 --> 00:05:14,543
I-I-it was probably my turn
a lot of turns ago, so...
130
00:05:15,237 --> 00:05:17,949
I feel like I want to
hug you. Can I hug you?
131
00:05:17,955 --> 00:05:20,347
I'm not in the business
of turning down hugs.
132
00:05:20,353 --> 00:05:24,430
♪
133
00:05:26,078 --> 00:05:28,093
- ♪ What we gonna do when the vibe roll through? ♪
- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
134
00:05:28,099 --> 00:05:31,280
♪ When it's feeling so good and
it's feeling so new, it's lit ♪
135
00:05:31,286 --> 00:05:34,311
- H... Oh, hi!
- TAMRYN: Oh, my God, you guys. Look at her.
136
00:05:34,317 --> 00:05:37,808
She's so confused. I'm
Instastorying our meet-cute.
137
00:05:37,814 --> 00:05:40,309
- Oh! I didn't realize our meet
- ♪ It's lit ♪
138
00:05:40,315 --> 00:05:43,512
was gonna be so cute. Um...
139
00:05:43,518 --> 00:05:46,715
I'm Lena. Hashtag hope there's a filter.
140
00:05:46,816 --> 00:05:48,375
That really sucked.
141
00:05:48,495 --> 00:05:50,402
- Yeah, I'm not gonna post that.
- [BEEP]
142
00:05:50,697 --> 00:05:52,199
Hi!
143
00:05:52,795 --> 00:05:54,347
- [PHONE THUDS]
- Ow! Ohh!
144
00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:56,623
Oh, I want you to meet
my daughter, Rabbit,
145
00:05:56,629 --> 00:05:59,222
and her rabbit, Pamela Catherine.
146
00:06:00,336 --> 00:06:01,536
Hi!
147
00:06:01,542 --> 00:06:02,927
Rabbit always wanted a rabbit,
148
00:06:02,933 --> 00:06:06,232
but we were worried it was
gonna be just super confusing,
149
00:06:06,238 --> 00:06:07,834
so we named her Pamela Catherine.
150
00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:09,820
- That makes sense.
- ♪ Run that beat back ♪
151
00:06:09,826 --> 00:06:12,239
TAMRYN: Quick poll, you
guys... hire or fire?
152
00:06:12,245 --> 00:06:14,037
Gainfully employed or...
153
00:06:14,043 --> 00:06:15,637
living on the streets like a hobo
154
00:06:15,643 --> 00:06:17,193
with a long stick and a bandana?
155
00:06:17,199 --> 00:06:19,389
Okay, just to clarify,
if this doesn't work out,
156
00:06:19,395 --> 00:06:20,677
I won't be living on the street!
157
00:06:20,683 --> 00:06:22,294
I was talking to my followers.
158
00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:24,705
Gotcha. Gotcha. I just didn't
want them to worry about me.
159
00:06:25,184 --> 00:06:26,390
They won't.
160
00:06:26,708 --> 00:06:27,908
Okay.
161
00:06:28,704 --> 00:06:31,009
So tell us your ideas.
162
00:06:33,719 --> 00:06:35,401
Oh, what? Oh, now you're talking to me.
163
00:06:35,407 --> 00:06:40,096
Okay. So, Tamryn, I die
for your modern aesthetic,
164
00:06:40,102 --> 00:06:46,486
but this playroom needs a serious
dose of warmth and playfulness.
165
00:06:47,055 --> 00:06:50,423
I'm picturing a woodland wonderland,
166
00:06:50,429 --> 00:06:51,802
where the centerpiece
167
00:06:51,808 --> 00:06:55,303
is a giant tree with a hollow center
that doubles as a reading nook,
168
00:06:55,309 --> 00:06:57,708
and this floor-to-ceiling moss wall
169
00:06:57,714 --> 00:06:59,905
- that has just little, fake flowers...
- ♪ It's lit ♪
170
00:06:59,911 --> 00:07:01,694
that can be picked and replanted.
171
00:07:02,387 --> 00:07:03,889
Okay, little mama.
172
00:07:03,895 --> 00:07:05,880
You just earned yourself a job.
173
00:07:06,481 --> 00:07:09,178
- Aah! [LAUGHS]
- ♪ Run that beat back, let me show 'em what's up ♪
174
00:07:09,184 --> 00:07:11,530
♪ Hey, hey, it's a party over here ♪
175
00:07:11,536 --> 00:07:13,827
- ♪ Hey, hey, it's a party over here ♪
- ALL: Milo!
176
00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:15,640
- ♪ Hey, hey, it's a party over here ♪
- Hey, guys.
177
00:07:15,646 --> 00:07:18,246
Rules the school...
just like his old man.
178
00:07:18,252 --> 00:07:19,743
Hey, welcome aboard.
179
00:07:19,749 --> 00:07:22,249
Hello. Milo's dad, reporting for duty.
180
00:07:22,255 --> 00:07:23,577
[BOTH LAUGH]
181
00:07:23,583 --> 00:07:25,648
Uh, what exactly are my duties?
182
00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:29,354
Oh, helping out with special
projects, overseeing hot lunch.
183
00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,167
Oh, and putting together
184
00:07:31,173 --> 00:07:34,321
- our upcoming 100 Days of School party.
- Ooh!
185
00:07:34,327 --> 00:07:37,501
- You actually get to help choose the theme.
- Hmm. Oh, okay.
186
00:07:37,507 --> 00:07:39,928
Let's see... Hollywood Nights!
187
00:07:39,934 --> 00:07:43,046
Ooh. How about "Black Panther"?
188
00:07:43,052 --> 00:07:44,252
Neon Carnival?
189
00:07:44,258 --> 00:07:46,237
- "Black Panther."
- "Great Gatsby."
190
00:07:46,243 --> 00:07:49,252
Listen, Milo's dad, it's
gonna be "Black Panther."
191
00:07:49,258 --> 00:07:51,034
Wakanda forever, okay?
192
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:52,688
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah? Okay.
193
00:07:52,977 --> 00:07:54,376
♪
194
00:07:54,382 --> 00:07:55,704
MILO: Give it to me.
195
00:07:55,710 --> 00:08:00,276
♪
196
00:08:00,282 --> 00:08:01,604
What the hell?
197
00:08:01,610 --> 00:08:03,696
♪
198
00:08:03,702 --> 00:08:06,069
[WHISPERING] Hey, hey.
Buddy, what, uh...
199
00:08:06,466 --> 00:08:08,765
what's going on over there
with the money and the...
200
00:08:08,771 --> 00:08:09,976
and the bow?
201
00:08:09,982 --> 00:08:11,965
I-I don't know anything.
202
00:08:11,971 --> 00:08:14,368
[NORMAL VOICE] I'm the Room Dad.
You can talk to me.
203
00:08:14,564 --> 00:08:15,857
I'm too scared.
204
00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:17,163
Scared of what?
205
00:08:18,361 --> 00:08:19,666
[WHISPERING] Milo.
206
00:08:19,672 --> 00:08:26,237
♪
207
00:08:26,243 --> 00:08:27,848
It's crazy!
208
00:08:27,854 --> 00:08:30,955
Did you hear the rumor that she
dated both Property Brothers?
209
00:08:30,961 --> 00:08:33,757
Everybody heard. She made sure of that.
210
00:08:34,061 --> 00:08:37,165
I don't think I've ever
seen this side before.
211
00:08:37,171 --> 00:08:39,759
- What side?
- You're jealous.
212
00:08:39,765 --> 00:08:41,185
Jealous?
213
00:08:41,191 --> 00:08:44,634
[LAUGHS LOUDLY]
214
00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:47,517
Ooh, you even have a
weird jealous laugh.
215
00:08:47,523 --> 00:08:49,342
I thought you'd be happy for me.
216
00:08:49,348 --> 00:08:50,755
I am happy for you.
217
00:08:50,879 --> 00:08:53,164
- I'm practically elated.
- Ha!
218
00:08:53,170 --> 00:08:54,864
[LAUGHS MOCKINGLY]
219
00:08:54,870 --> 00:08:56,168
Okay, look,
220
00:08:56,174 --> 00:08:59,185
it's just that I've seen
the way that she operates.
221
00:08:59,191 --> 00:09:01,860
She'll chew you up, she'll
suck out all your content,
222
00:09:01,866 --> 00:09:05,365
and she'll leave you on the side
of the road, gasping for air.
223
00:09:05,371 --> 00:09:07,555
TTV is supportive.
224
00:09:07,561 --> 00:09:09,962
Whereas you made fun of my Yellow Pages.
225
00:09:09,968 --> 00:09:14,389
I bought you followers,
okay? I accepted a check.
226
00:09:14,782 --> 00:09:16,188
I didn't even know I could do that.
227
00:09:16,194 --> 00:09:19,065
TTV accepts me for who I am.
228
00:09:19,071 --> 00:09:22,271
No. She exploits you for who you are.
229
00:09:22,868 --> 00:09:25,736
For Tamryn, this is
just about her increasing
230
00:09:25,742 --> 00:09:28,039
her female followers, okay?
231
00:09:28,045 --> 00:09:30,141
This is not about your design skills.
232
00:09:30,147 --> 00:09:34,119
You're wrong. She hired
me to design her playroom.
233
00:09:34,256 --> 00:09:37,267
Our relationship is
based on mutual respect
234
00:09:37,273 --> 00:09:40,243
and is strictly 100% professional.
235
00:09:40,249 --> 00:09:41,733
- You guys,
- ♪ Whoo ♪
236
00:09:41,739 --> 00:09:43,431
these paper straws make us want to vom.
237
00:09:43,437 --> 00:09:44,665
- Vom!
- Ugh!
238
00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:46,458
- ♪ Okay, step back, here comes the queen ♪
- I can't even.
239
00:09:46,723 --> 00:09:49,334
Oh, Lena. So pliable.
240
00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:53,343
[SIGHS] Well, looks
like you're my new BFF.
241
00:09:54,237 --> 00:09:55,819
I knew you'd get there.
242
00:09:55,825 --> 00:09:58,395
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
243
00:09:58,401 --> 00:10:02,025
♪
244
00:10:02,031 --> 00:10:03,248
[SIGHS]
245
00:10:03,254 --> 00:10:05,046
What kind of racket you running here?
246
00:10:05,052 --> 00:10:08,334
Look who's back. "Mr. Questions."
247
00:10:08,340 --> 00:10:09,834
[SIGHS]
248
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,130
Are you a bully?
249
00:10:11,136 --> 00:10:13,529
A bully? Quite the opposite.
250
00:10:13,535 --> 00:10:17,397
Roger was just repaying a few bucks
I loaned him on the bake sale day.
251
00:10:17,582 --> 00:10:18,782
He's a good kid.
252
00:10:18,788 --> 00:10:21,274
Hey, boss. This guy bothering you?
253
00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:24,110
Whoa. Didn't know the
school was K through...
254
00:10:24,116 --> 00:10:26,289
- 30.
- I'm a sixth grader.
255
00:10:26,295 --> 00:10:28,586
It's cool, Owen. This is my dad.
256
00:10:29,163 --> 00:10:30,688
Copy that, boss.
257
00:10:31,269 --> 00:10:35,171
♪
258
00:10:35,265 --> 00:10:36,992
[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]
259
00:10:36,998 --> 00:10:40,843
Ah, can I just have all the wine?
260
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:43,734
[AS TAMRYN]
Can I have all the wine, please?
261
00:10:43,740 --> 00:10:46,422
Ugh! You even sound like her.
262
00:10:46,428 --> 00:10:48,328
Well, maybe that's why
I had a follow spike.
263
00:10:48,334 --> 00:10:51,529
Baby's first follow spike. 16,000!
264
00:10:51,535 --> 00:10:52,810
Did you see?
265
00:10:52,816 --> 00:10:55,310
I think it's 'cause she
tags me in everything.
266
00:10:55,316 --> 00:10:58,318
Actually, 5,000 of those
followers are from me.
267
00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,524
Thank you.
268
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:04,111
But actually, I don't think
we even needed to buy them.
269
00:11:04,117 --> 00:11:06,531
I'm just... I feel so blessed
270
00:11:06,537 --> 00:11:10,814
to be working with an
influencer who is so influential.
271
00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:12,120
- Hmm.
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES]
272
00:11:12,126 --> 00:11:14,535
So how's that playroom coming along?
273
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:15,741
- Hmm?
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES]
274
00:11:15,747 --> 00:11:18,417
The job she actually hired you to do?
275
00:11:18,628 --> 00:11:20,298
- Designing the playroom?
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES]
276
00:11:20,304 --> 00:11:22,399
Totally. [GASPS] So crazy!
277
00:11:22,405 --> 00:11:24,915
She boomeranged our Vom
Straws, and it went viral.
278
00:11:24,921 --> 00:11:26,798
Look at how many views!
279
00:11:26,804 --> 00:11:29,085
Mm. No, thanks.
280
00:11:29,673 --> 00:11:31,063
Where are you going?
281
00:11:31,069 --> 00:11:33,173
Well, you said you wanted all the wine.
282
00:11:34,378 --> 00:11:35,649
It's all yours!
283
00:11:35,655 --> 00:11:36,954
I should story this.
284
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,657
♪
285
00:11:39,663 --> 00:11:40,876
Wait.
286
00:11:45,777 --> 00:11:47,254
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
287
00:11:47,260 --> 00:11:50,270
Good morning, Ms. David. Uh, I
just wanted to grab a quick word
288
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:52,082
- before class. Hi.
- There he is!
289
00:11:52,088 --> 00:11:53,990
Our Room Baba.
290
00:11:53,996 --> 00:11:57,460
"Baba" means "father" in Wakandan.
291
00:11:57,466 --> 00:11:58,927
- Cool.
- [CHUCKLES] Yeah.
292
00:11:58,933 --> 00:12:01,052
Um, so, I'm just a little bit concerned
293
00:12:01,058 --> 00:12:02,857
- about Milo.
- Oh, okay.
294
00:12:02,863 --> 00:12:05,351
Okay, it's starting
to look like he, um...
295
00:12:05,357 --> 00:12:08,197
I'm j... I'm just getting this
feeling that he might be...
296
00:12:08,376 --> 00:12:10,488
[SIGHS] I don't know, a bully.
297
00:12:10,494 --> 00:12:12,292
[LAUGHING]
298
00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:14,497
- What? What?
- That's absurd.
299
00:12:14,503 --> 00:12:18,346
Milo is a gorgeous and wildly popular
300
00:12:18,352 --> 00:12:20,238
golden-haired child
who's probably gonna
301
00:12:20,244 --> 00:12:22,056
- out-earn us all. [CHUCKLES]
- Okay, okay, stop.
302
00:12:22,062 --> 00:12:23,934
He's got some goon working for him.
303
00:12:23,940 --> 00:12:25,558
- Goon?
- Yeah, Owen.
304
00:12:25,564 --> 00:12:27,347
He's like a... He's a sixth grader.
305
00:12:27,353 --> 00:12:29,013
Have you been interacting
306
00:12:29,019 --> 00:12:30,404
- with sixth graders?
- No.
307
00:12:30,410 --> 00:12:32,919
Because as a third-grade Room Parent,
308
00:12:32,925 --> 00:12:35,194
that's strictly against school rules.
309
00:12:35,524 --> 00:12:36,730
- There. Did you see that?
- What?
310
00:12:36,736 --> 00:12:37,938
- What?
- Look, look, look, look!
311
00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:39,810
Hello, Ms. David.
312
00:12:39,816 --> 00:12:42,946
- Hey, superstar. [CHUCKLES]
- You missed it.
313
00:12:42,952 --> 00:12:47,119
- He... he just did the thing.
- I think I know what's going on here.
314
00:12:47,125 --> 00:12:51,227
Your ex-wife, Lena, she
was Room Parent royalty.
315
00:12:51,431 --> 00:12:53,523
The stuff legends are made of.
316
00:12:53,711 --> 00:12:56,924
Here comes Baba, feeling all threatened.
317
00:12:56,930 --> 00:12:59,135
- No.
- He starts swinging his hose around,
318
00:12:59,141 --> 00:13:01,268
- lookin' for a fire to put out...
- Mnh-mnh.
319
00:13:01,274 --> 00:13:05,658
but there is... no.. fire.
320
00:13:05,939 --> 00:13:08,253
Do I make myself clear?
321
00:13:09,054 --> 00:13:10,254
Yeah?
322
00:13:10,338 --> 00:13:13,635
Ooh! Really good news!
323
00:13:13,641 --> 00:13:15,312
- We did it.
- What did we do?!
324
00:13:15,318 --> 00:13:16,518
We broke through.
325
00:13:16,524 --> 00:13:18,143
Our hashtag "mommyfriendship"
326
00:13:18,149 --> 00:13:20,999
delivered thousands
of unique impressions
327
00:13:21,005 --> 00:13:23,111
in the coveted 47-55 demo
328
00:13:23,117 --> 00:13:25,754
that I was so sorely lacking in.
329
00:13:25,919 --> 00:13:28,561
- My sponsors are so stoked.
- That's amazing!
330
00:13:28,567 --> 00:13:30,756
- I know.
- And they are going to love
331
00:13:30,762 --> 00:13:32,449
that playroom centerpiece
I told you about.
332
00:13:32,455 --> 00:13:34,568
- I found someone who can fabricate...
- Cool, cool, cool.
333
00:13:34,574 --> 00:13:36,733
So, can we put a pin
in this for one second
334
00:13:36,739 --> 00:13:39,131
because I actually need
your design expertise
335
00:13:39,137 --> 00:13:41,043
on a much more pressing project.
336
00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:43,934
Rabbit's seven-month birthday.
337
00:13:44,754 --> 00:13:48,753
You want me to plan your
pet's birthday party?
338
00:13:48,759 --> 00:13:51,145
Oh, you're thinking of
Pamela. Rabbit's my daughter.
339
00:13:51,151 --> 00:13:52,874
I don't know why you
get confused by that.
340
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:55,533
Yeah. I j... But...
341
00:13:55,539 --> 00:13:59,367
- you know, I'm not really a party planner.
- Supes interesante.
342
00:13:59,859 --> 00:14:01,264
I love that backstory.
343
00:14:01,270 --> 00:14:03,478
So, uh, this, I promise,
344
00:14:03,484 --> 00:14:07,698
will be the only non-playroom
favor that I ask of you. I swear.
345
00:14:07,882 --> 00:14:12,303
Okay. Well, if I do it, will
you at least mention my company?
346
00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:13,710
No can do, baby.
347
00:14:13,991 --> 00:14:15,892
Technically, I can only
mention two companies
348
00:14:15,898 --> 00:14:18,203
and those are MeUndies
and Westside Rentals.
349
00:14:18,585 --> 00:14:21,196
So, I have purchased...
350
00:14:21,202 --> 00:14:23,434
♪
351
00:14:24,246 --> 00:14:25,834
900 balloons.
352
00:14:26,019 --> 00:14:28,223
And I need every last breath
353
00:14:28,229 --> 00:14:30,835
in that adorable little
body to inflate them.
354
00:14:32,629 --> 00:14:34,317
You're a legend!
355
00:14:35,044 --> 00:14:37,359
MARTIN: I'm telling you,
man, the teacher is in on it!
356
00:14:37,365 --> 00:14:40,365
The kids, they're too scared to
even make eye contact with Milo.
357
00:14:40,466 --> 00:14:42,560
I've heard that's what it's
like working for Dr. Phil.
358
00:14:42,566 --> 00:14:45,352
I take the reins for one
minute and this is what happens?
359
00:14:45,358 --> 00:14:47,625
My 8-year-old is shaking kids down?
360
00:14:47,631 --> 00:14:50,395
You know what you have to
do, bro. Toss his room, man.
361
00:14:50,401 --> 00:14:52,026
Full-blown search and seizure.
362
00:14:52,032 --> 00:14:54,330
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.
363
00:14:54,336 --> 00:14:56,113
No, going through his
stuff, that's a violation.
364
00:14:56,119 --> 00:14:58,119
It just means you want to keep him safe.
365
00:14:58,125 --> 00:15:00,119
Same reason why I go through
Camille's purse at night
366
00:15:00,125 --> 00:15:01,838
- while she's sleeping.
- You do?
367
00:15:01,844 --> 00:15:04,750
Yeah, I look at her receipts,
I pay her parking tickets.
368
00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:06,586
I learned all kinds of things about her,
369
00:15:06,592 --> 00:15:08,649
things I would never know otherwise.
370
00:15:09,499 --> 00:15:10,891
[WHISPERED] She's a bad tipper, bro.
371
00:15:10,897 --> 00:15:13,766
Dude, okay, okay. No, he's... he's...
he is on a field trip right now,
372
00:15:13,772 --> 00:15:16,175
so if we go in there, no
one's gonna even know that...
373
00:15:16,488 --> 00:15:18,506
♪
374
00:15:18,512 --> 00:15:19,712
Goin' in.
375
00:15:19,718 --> 00:15:25,623
♪
376
00:15:25,629 --> 00:15:27,233
- Aha!
- What are you thinking?
377
00:15:27,239 --> 00:15:30,631
Static Touch Plasma Sphere
with Mini Tesla Energy Coil.
378
00:15:30,637 --> 00:15:32,340
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let me try.
379
00:15:33,274 --> 00:15:35,570
"To William, love Gramma Bea."?
380
00:15:37,173 --> 00:15:38,984
♪
381
00:15:38,990 --> 00:15:42,207
Josh Jr., you sneaky
bastard, you know something.
382
00:15:42,770 --> 00:15:44,760
♪
383
00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:46,659
You want me to slice that turtle?
384
00:15:47,668 --> 00:15:49,558
What the hell, dude?
Where did you get that?
385
00:15:49,564 --> 00:15:52,270
Camille's purse. I told
you. It's treasure trove.
386
00:15:52,581 --> 00:15:53,781
Cut him.
387
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:56,338
♪
388
00:15:56,344 --> 00:15:58,757
- [GASPS]
- [LAUGHS]
389
00:15:58,763 --> 00:16:00,129
Oh!
390
00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:03,346
What is this golden-haired
Svengali up to?
391
00:16:03,352 --> 00:16:05,356
I don't know, but I want in.
392
00:16:05,362 --> 00:16:08,488
♪
393
00:16:10,087 --> 00:16:12,286
[ANNIE LENNOX'S "I PUT
A SPELL ON YOU" PLAYS]
394
00:16:12,291 --> 00:16:14,573
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
395
00:16:17,681 --> 00:16:21,087
♪ I put a spell on you ♪
396
00:16:25,175 --> 00:16:28,890
♪ Because you're mine ♪
397
00:16:28,896 --> 00:16:30,677
[BREATHES HEAVILY AND COUGHS WEAKLY]
398
00:16:31,108 --> 00:16:32,308
[RINGING]
399
00:16:32,314 --> 00:16:34,805
CAMILLE: Hey, it's Camille.
You should know I'm text-only.
400
00:16:34,811 --> 00:16:38,992
- Never do this again.
- ♪ You better stop the things you do ♪
401
00:16:38,993 --> 00:16:41,102
_
402
00:16:41,688 --> 00:16:44,107
♪ Because ♪
403
00:16:44,306 --> 00:16:49,022
♪ You're mine ♪
404
00:16:49,033 --> 00:16:52,608
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
405
00:16:52,614 --> 00:16:54,616
Uh, does your character have blond hair?
406
00:16:54,622 --> 00:16:56,102
No. No, he does not.
407
00:16:56,108 --> 00:16:58,095
Milo. We need to talk. Now.
408
00:16:58,101 --> 00:17:01,193
We don't talk during "Guess
Who?" unless we're guessing who.
409
00:17:01,199 --> 00:17:02,399
Up.
410
00:17:02,405 --> 00:17:04,298
[SIGHS] Fine.
411
00:17:04,304 --> 00:17:06,487
Okay, the jig is up.
412
00:17:06,493 --> 00:17:08,301
I found your stash and your cash.
413
00:17:08,307 --> 00:17:10,689
I cut William a deal, and
he's gonna sing like a bird.
414
00:17:10,794 --> 00:17:13,204
This is your last chance
to come clean with me.
415
00:17:13,299 --> 00:17:14,896
Oh, fine.
416
00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:18,607
I run a very profitable
organization called "Club Milo."
417
00:17:18,613 --> 00:17:20,660
I charge monthly dues, but in exchange,
418
00:17:20,666 --> 00:17:23,520
- you get a place at my lunch table and in my heart.
- [WASHING MACHINE CHIMES]
419
00:17:23,808 --> 00:17:26,693
People want that? What,
they pay for your company?
420
00:17:26,699 --> 00:17:30,185
Premium members get a
T-shirt with my face on it,
421
00:17:30,191 --> 00:17:32,502
- and I'll call you on your birthday...
- Milo. [SIGHS]
422
00:17:32,508 --> 00:17:34,304
Friendship isn't commerce, pal.
423
00:17:34,609 --> 00:17:35,912
You can't sell it.
424
00:17:36,111 --> 00:17:38,815
You should try following the
example of your older siblings
425
00:17:38,821 --> 00:17:40,820
who show you kindness
because they love you
426
00:17:40,826 --> 00:17:42,614
- and you're their brother.
- You kidding?
427
00:17:42,620 --> 00:17:44,662
That's why I came up with Club Milo.
428
00:17:44,668 --> 00:17:47,950
- I pay them to spend time with me.
- What?
429
00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:52,138
Mae! Mason! I want you in
Milo's fluff and fold now!
430
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:54,146
- You shrieked?
- What's up?
431
00:17:54,152 --> 00:17:56,256
Are you two selling
yourselves to your brother?
432
00:17:56,262 --> 00:17:57,722
- Pretty much.
- Yeah, kinda.
433
00:17:57,728 --> 00:18:00,495
What... what is wrong with
you? Have you no decency?
434
00:18:00,501 --> 00:18:02,427
He pays, and he pays well.
435
00:18:02,433 --> 00:18:04,992
I-I don't know whether
to be proud or horrified.
436
00:18:05,268 --> 00:18:07,553
[SIGHS]
437
00:18:07,559 --> 00:18:09,952
Okay. Okay. You two.
438
00:18:09,958 --> 00:18:13,069
You guys, return all that
money you accepted from Milo.
439
00:18:13,075 --> 00:18:14,275
And you.
440
00:18:14,281 --> 00:18:16,150
You are gonna shut down your club
441
00:18:16,156 --> 00:18:18,468
and refund all of the membership fees.
442
00:18:18,474 --> 00:18:19,854
And furthermore,
443
00:18:19,860 --> 00:18:22,283
the three of you are gonna be
punished if you do not continue to have
444
00:18:22,289 --> 00:18:24,062
a loving relationship with each other.
445
00:18:24,068 --> 00:18:25,479
For free.
446
00:18:25,667 --> 00:18:29,172
- ♪
- [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
447
00:18:29,177 --> 00:18:32,527
♪
448
00:18:32,533 --> 00:18:35,549
Oh, my God. You're finally
here. So, I need a favor, baby.
449
00:18:35,869 --> 00:18:38,630
The clown I hired canceled.
450
00:18:39,150 --> 00:18:41,956
So you need me to find
someone else last minute?
451
00:18:41,962 --> 00:18:43,807
No, I already found someone last minute.
452
00:18:43,813 --> 00:18:45,597
♪
453
00:18:45,603 --> 00:18:48,776
Oh, and I will remember
to shout-out your business.
454
00:18:48,782 --> 00:18:51,196
What is the name of it
again? Golden Cervix?
455
00:18:51,993 --> 00:18:55,007
Here's the thing, Tamryn, and, um...
456
00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:56,737
I've really thought a lot about this,
457
00:18:56,743 --> 00:19:00,708
and even with the shout-out, I
only want to be your designer.
458
00:19:00,714 --> 00:19:03,434
I don't want to do any
of this other stuff.
459
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:05,510
I feel like you're really
selling yourself short.
460
00:19:05,516 --> 00:19:07,972
You're so much more than a designer.
461
00:19:08,089 --> 00:19:09,768
What does that word even mean?
462
00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,393
You're like a mother figure to Rabbit
463
00:19:12,399 --> 00:19:14,694
and totally on-brand friend.
464
00:19:14,700 --> 00:19:17,967
I have my own friends,
and I have my own kids.
465
00:19:17,973 --> 00:19:19,474
I just need a job.
466
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:20,680
This is the job.
467
00:19:20,686 --> 00:19:22,086
Then I'm not interested.
468
00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:24,970
Well, then, I'm not interested.
469
00:19:26,476 --> 00:19:29,275
You see that, though? How
much we have in common?
470
00:19:29,281 --> 00:19:33,765
♪
471
00:19:33,771 --> 00:19:35,353
Room Baba?
472
00:19:35,574 --> 00:19:38,373
- Hm-hmm.
- This place looks great.
473
00:19:38,379 --> 00:19:40,295
And you cooked dinner?
474
00:19:40,476 --> 00:19:42,874
- It's not even your week.
- Stop it.
475
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:45,053
I told you it's my turn
to pick up the slack.
476
00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:47,678
Well, speaking of slack,
477
00:19:47,684 --> 00:19:50,379
I missed the 100 Days of School party.
478
00:19:50,385 --> 00:19:52,988
Oh, God. Who cares? How many
times have I missed that thing?
479
00:19:52,994 --> 00:19:55,714
- 79.
- Oh, good.
480
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,721
- So you were counting.
- Mmm!
481
00:19:58,726 --> 00:20:01,000
- This is really good.
- Yeah? Here, here, here.
482
00:20:01,006 --> 00:20:02,524
- Try it with some bread.
- Oh.
483
00:20:02,703 --> 00:20:05,423
- So I have a little update on the Milo front.
- Mm.
484
00:20:05,429 --> 00:20:07,497
His odd behavior
wasn't about the divorce
485
00:20:07,503 --> 00:20:10,193
or the downsizing of his
room, so we're not bad parents.
486
00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:13,912
No, he was just acting weird because
he's running an extortion scheme!
487
00:20:14,802 --> 00:20:16,002
Oh.
488
00:20:16,762 --> 00:20:19,260
Mm. Well, we are bad parents,
489
00:20:19,266 --> 00:20:20,885
just not the way that we thought.
490
00:20:20,891 --> 00:20:22,852
- You know what? I'll take it.
- Hmm?
491
00:20:22,858 --> 00:20:25,985
Oh, and I seized hundreds of dollars
492
00:20:25,991 --> 00:20:29,021
that's he's been
laundering inside Josh Jr.
493
00:20:29,692 --> 00:20:30,895
Wait.
494
00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:34,122
- Did Milo make more money than me this week?
- Mm-hmm.
495
00:20:34,128 --> 00:20:36,708
- But I thought we could put it towards college.
- Hmm.
496
00:20:36,714 --> 00:20:38,889
- Or bail. Mm?
- Mm.
497
00:20:38,963 --> 00:20:41,541
- [TAPPING] Bail. [CHUCKLES]
- Probably...
498
00:20:41,547 --> 00:20:43,160
[INSECTS CHIRPING]
499
00:20:43,166 --> 00:20:44,369
[DOORBELL RINGS]
500
00:20:44,375 --> 00:20:46,642
♪
501
00:20:46,648 --> 00:20:49,176
You wanna make skinny
margs and drinkstagram?
502
00:20:49,182 --> 00:20:51,162
Not for a million [BLEEP] dollars.
503
00:20:51,168 --> 00:20:54,269
Well, what if I just said... sorry?
504
00:20:56,267 --> 00:20:57,684
I'm sorry, too.
505
00:20:57,862 --> 00:21:01,282
I should have been more
supportive and less threatened.
506
00:21:01,288 --> 00:21:04,064
No, Camille, you were
right. She was using me.
507
00:21:04,070 --> 00:21:05,376
And after we parted ways,
508
00:21:05,382 --> 00:21:07,572
all of her followers unfollowed me.
509
00:21:08,263 --> 00:21:11,189
Now I'm back down to
the 5,000 you bought me.
510
00:21:12,537 --> 00:21:13,935
BFFs again?
511
00:21:15,021 --> 00:21:16,318
I mean,
512
00:21:16,427 --> 00:21:19,119
I've never banged a
Property Brother, but...
513
00:21:19,125 --> 00:21:20,325
sure.
514
00:21:20,331 --> 00:21:25,331
Sync & corrections by PetaG
- www.addic7ed.com -
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