All language subtitles for The God ofCookery

Sir, you're born with fairy bones,
your eyes show holy light.

You're a fairy descended on Earth,
I've found you at last.

Don't go away.

Though I'm revealing Heaven's secret
and will suffer,

it's just my destiny.

Even if it is more risky,

I have to tell your whole fortune.

Sir...

An Assorted Noodle, please.

Since the noodle hasn't been rinsed in
cold water, so it tastes alkaline.

and the Fish Balls are tasteless too.

You cook them as Curry Fish Ball

in order to cover this drawback.

But it's naive for you to do all this.

As the woking time was not long enough.

the curry favor only stays outside,

the soup washes the taste away.

The Curry Fish Ball
now becomes tasteless,

neither fish nor curry.

What a failure!

You haven't selected the turnip properly,
too much fibre, failure.

The pig skin is overcooked, failure.

The pig blood is too soft,
a failure too.

This pig colon is the worst.

It's not properly washed,
you can find shit inside, how come?

Hey, shit!

Hey, shit, hey.

Hey, shit.

Just rub it away.

How about I promote that:

we can find shit in your food?

Nothing special.

This is Assorted Noodle!

$23.

You give me?

You'd better give me $30
for me to see a doctor.

Please respect me,
at least I'm "God of Cookery"

"God of Cookery"?

"God of Cookery".

You're born with fairy bones,
your eyes show holy light.

You're a fairy descended on Earth,
I've found you at last.

I'm pretty famous in this district,

You needn't say, Bitch.

Hey, I'm only making a living,
you needn't hurt me by saying so.

Bitch.

Bastard.

Bitch...
Bastard...

Competition of Supreme Chef of HK
is now starting.

Let's have the honor of our judge
tonight, "God of Cookery".

"God of Cookery"
will taste our first entry.

"King's Fired Rice" prepared by
Tai Long from Lung Fung Restaurant.

Good, you manage to steam the rice
stuffed inside a shrimp...

...and seasoned by First Class
abalone juice, then fried with bird nest.

At first glance,
this is common fried rice.

but in fact,
it shows highest techniques,

you deserve being
called the "King of Frying".

However, the vaporised water
made the rice too soft.

You've ignored the most
basic technique of frying rice.

You must use over-night rice
for frying rice, "King of Frying".

Your rank: zero!

The next entry is "Multi-fish"

cooked by Lau Sam of Kam Kong Restaurant.

The ingredients include somei,
garoupa and three other fish,

then reshape as a whole fish,

one side to be steamed
and other to be deep-fried.

Each kind of fish receives two flavors,

and altogether with
ten different flavors.

This fish is really...

...It's like being radiated,
I just want to vomit.

Ask me to eat? Your rank:
zero, go home and review yourself.

I...
You're too dummy.

Not dummy, you've made extra fish.

You...you've made extra fish.

The next entry is "Golden Robe"

by Chan Tung of Royal Restaurant.

This vegetarian dish

shows the cutting techniques.

How long did you spend
in carving the bean curd?

One whole day.

But you know it's become pungent,

can't you smell that?

Yes, I do.

But this dish mainly
shows my fast carving skills.

Please show us your left hand.

and now your middle finger.

You've cut your finger, Fast Chopper.

Terrific!

Now the remaining entry
is "Secret Roast Goose"

by Yeung Chun Tin
of Five Rams Restaurant.

It's seems he'll surely
get the championship title.

It's already cold,
your rank: zero, Finish.

Hold it.

Since it's called "Secret Roast Goose",
there must be some secret.

In fact, we only eat
the paddy bird inside.

Those paddy birds have absorbed

the flavor of the goose,
and were kept warm.

It's perfect to eat them now.

I've taken every detail into account.

"God of Cookery",
you have nothing to complain of now?

Great! The Supreme Cook
of Hong Kong is born now.

Hold it.

His rank is still zero.

What?

No way.

Why?

It's too ugly.

Impossible, I've specially
selected the paddy birds.

They're all pretty and tasty.

I don't mean the paddy birds,
I mean you.

I'm ugly?

What has it got to do
with my appearance?

Sure, how can I have appetite

when I see your appearance?

Therefore I dare not look at you.

But it's not a fault being ugly.

Sure, being a chef,

you must be considerate for the guests.

Even female stars in porn movies must
get plastic surgery on their busts.

Though you have potential,
you need surgery for your face first.

Please open his hands.

I never expected "God of Cookery"
is so demanding.

Then how can we make
a totally perfect dish?

When talking about cooking,
we count on one word...

This Rainbow with Flowers
is my dessert for you tonight

...and the word is: heart.

Right, we must rely on our heart
to make the perfect dish.

Very delicious.

He's proud, but humble
at the same time.

He tries not to be famous,
but is admired by everybody.

He's made good use of fire,
the gift to human from God.

He can make the super dishes,
real art of fire.

Is he a fairy from heavens?

Or is he Satan from hell?

No one will know.

But one thing is sure,
everyone addresses him as:

"God of Cookery"

You only need to mention
I'm fairy from heavens.

Why say I'm Satan from hell?
Is hell related to me?

I wanted to add a little
bit of mystery to you.

You meant to?
Have you considered me?

A little bit of mystery? Damn you!

A darkened screen with a spotlight on you

such that you look like a ghost.

Don't you think this
is mystery enough?

I'm not shooting horrible movies, man.

But the Director wants that.

Hire an assassin to kill that Director

and then you.

With such a rubbish Director,

and such a lousy MC as you.

You both conspire to play me a fool.

Are you playing me a fool?

Sorry, I guarantee to write
the script properly next time.

Rubbish, you are useless guy.
I'll go and amend it at once.

Remember, you're no more than rubbish,

roll back home instantly.

My dear fellows.

You've all done a hard job.

We should
It's our duty...

Mr. Tai.
We all understand that, "God of Cookery".

It's my pleasure...Mr. Lau, thanks...

I learn a lot from you.

I should do this

You've made extra fish, you...

How long have you practiced?
Extra fish.

Just tell us if you need any help.

Sure I will...

Thanks for your commission.

You know you've taken my commission?

You know you've take my money, right?

Then you shouldn't shout
that out loudly there.

I'm so absorbed that I've announced it.

Mr. Yeung, shouting
doesn't mean good acting.

You did shout that "very delicious"

ironically and pejoratively.

Even a blind person knows you're only acting.

I was sucking with your acrylic
and dioxide solution.

Of course the acrylic
and dioxide solution,

otherwise I couldn't write that out.

You should know this stuff well.

This is a really hard chore, this stuff.
Sure this is

you're to take up this hard chore
how dare you challenge me?

You think you're really capable?

If you're capable,

you'll be standing in my position
right now, you are so foolish.

If you get on my nerves,

I'll kick you down there.

I'll hang up your dead body
in Statue Square...

Suck these cigarette butts
and say "very delicious"

Say it, until I ask you to stop.

Boss...sorry to bother you,
we would like to leave now.

Good...sorry to bother you, thanks.

Your share has risen,

why didn't you inform me?

Has it?

I really don't know, I swear,
I don't know that myself.

Let's talk business first,

I have a new product.
I want to make use of your fame.

I'll see if we can co-operate.

"Instant Cup Noodle".

Maggie.

There are 53 kinds of
instant Cup Noodle in the market,

with a annual sale figure
of $1.3 billion,

cup noodle get a share of 33%.

Very keen competition indeed.

Good packaging.

My nephew in charge of it,
he admires you much.

Richard, greet Mr. Stephen.

Mr. Stephen.

Richard, you must have
got higher level education.

Har...Harvard University of US...A

Har...Harvard University of US...A

and Cam...Cambridge University.

Cam...Cambridge University.

Double master degrees.

Let me explain
the design of this product.

What are you doing?

Why do you come over here?

Go on speaking over there,
you are not to stand here.

Where's your homeland?

Chiu Chow.

Damn you, (Chiu Chow Style)
don't you know any basic manners?

You said you have Master degree?
Is bastard degree, more appropriate?

Why are you going that side?

He called you a bastard, do you hear?

OK, don't scare the youngster.

If I don't teach him, who will?

Keep calm, don't tremble.

Be good, smile.

The Fish Balls seem a bit lousy.

They not elastic at all.

Why must they be elastic inside
the stomach? It's not for a Ping-Pong game.

Why not for a Ping-Pong game?

So they're pretty elastic after all.

Come on, drink it, ass-hole.

Ass-hole.

You can come any time
if you have interest,

I'll try my best to help you.

I'll do whatever I can to help you.

Good brother
Buddy.

Really good buddies?

You must help me.

I count on you, let's cheers.

I've got good bargain beef,
call this number if you want it.

But why don't you
give me benefits on abalone?

Excuse me, give way...

Sorry to bother you.

I'm Bull Tong,

graduate of Chinese Cookery Academy.

I can cook delicious dishes.

Right, good cooks always
result being as beggars.

You've hired so many rubbish, no way.

Don't you know him?
Isn't he your staff?

Fat Bull, which department
you come from?

I am just passing by.

What?

I do admire you, "God of Cookery".

I just wonder

if you would give me a chance.

Maybe you can hire me as an assistant.

Damn you!

- Security.
- What are you doing?

- Catching him?
- I didn't say to do that.

You really want to follow me?

Yes, you can ask me
to do whatever you like.

Go for a hard excretion
in front of the lift now.

This fatty is hard-working.

Contact Amy on 41st floor,
tomorrow at 9.

Are you serious?

I like that.

Doing whatever
you like proves your power.

Thanks.

I must thank you.

What are you doing?

What's going on?

Boss is dining here, so I've delivered
him a bottle of red wine.

He's losing his temper right now.

What wine did you deliver?

He wants one of '82.

This is of '82.

I deliver him of '83.

Go take this for him at once.

Yes...

You go.

Boss, this bottle is of '82.

Are you hungry?

Sit down and eat something.

How come?

I'm indeed a kind man,
I do have sympathy.

You can never guess what I'll do next,
go on eating.

Why did you do that?

Let me tell you,

you can never guess
what I'll do next, just keep eating.

Once is enough,
you can't fool me a second time.

I won't let you guess

I don't want to fool you again, no way.

Yes, I'm really nut.

I really can't figure
what you're going to do next.

I've told you a second time already.

If you can guess,

I won't be called "God of Cookery".

"God of Cookery" is great.

Of course, I'll surely win.

"God of Cookery" is great.

Get some narrow tables
and small chairs,

so that customers
can't sit comfortably,

and they'll leave
as soon as possible after eating.

Get the thickest straws
and biggest ice-cubes.

Then they can finish the drink fast
and buy another ones.

Are you a new-comer?
Don't you need me to teach you?

Not flexible at all, ass-hole.

Mr. Chow, the ceremony may begin now.

Good, let's begin.

Are you ready?

Yes.

Making big money.

Congratulations.

Thanks, please serve yourselves
for the snack.

Your branch opens opposite
my cafe again,

you respect me so much!

Aren't I friendly enough?

Ass-hole

Mr. Chow, congratulations...

Mr. Chow
Thanks...drink more.

A fan will present you with flowers,
then you get on stage...

Who's so clever as to get a fan
to present flowers?

We didn't hire her,
she's really your fan.

What?

Girl student, nice and gentle,
she's been waiting for you so long.

Has she?

What a coincidence!

What a coincidence!

Hey, what a coincidence!

Hay...what...what a coincidence!

What a coincidence!

Good bye.

Mr. Chow...

Time to present flowers

Yeah, I know.

Can we start now?
I'm waiting for you.

"God of Cookery".

Hey! UFO!

Dear guests,

the celebration
for the opening of our 50th branch...

...is starting now.

We're selected the time, we now invite
God of Kitchen into the kitchen.

Since we have some spare time,

we now introduce a new set course to you.

"Deep First Love Gold Silver
Lovers Set Meal"

Even Confucius and Jesus said:
First Love is wonderful.

So we select this topic
by using the top ingredients.

The price for the set meal
is $99.9 only.

A bonus stamp is issued to every meal,
if you collect 5 bonus stamps,

you can redeem

a "Love Bone pendant"
with the price of $99.9.

As I have blessed for this pendant,

it really helps those young lovers
in their first love.

It's even more efficacious
with the help of philter.

Let's have the honor
for "God of Cookery"

to demonstrate
how to prepare this course.

Thanks, but please excuse

if I don't make a perfect show.

If you can't make a perfect show,
you won't be called "God of Cookery".

Good...

First, we must prepare
a pair of piglets in love.

We shall drain their blood
without their notification.

We then make use of
their blood...pig blood

...the romantic blood.

What? You feel pity for your species?

I then deep fry their skin
until they become golden.

This is pig skin.

The true love pig skin.

Just pig skin.

I then get the fish meat

of "Parisian Baguette".

I'll place it over
Sentimental Indian Curry.

Curry Fish Balls?

Pig blood, pig skin, fish balls,
is there any turnip?

None of your business!

Go to serve the guests.

Of course we need
some long-live-love Korean turnip

and a pig colon.

We then place it on some raw noodle.

Mix all ingredients together,
and there it is, "Assorted Noodle".

You charge $99.9 for this
common noodle? Are you crazy?

But it's not easy to prepare delicious

"Assorted Noodle" at all.

You know, the simple dish
are hard to prepare.

Just like that.

Okay, let me try your
"Assorted Noodle" now.

The Curry Fish Ball are tasteless,
neither is the curry.

The pig skin is overcooked, failure.

The pig blood is too soft,
a failure too.

You haven't selected the turnip properly,
too much fibre, failure.

This pig colon is the worst,

you can find shit inside.

Are you mistaken?

Are you performing talk show?

You are so clever
but go back for a rest.

You aren't a conscious businessman.

Security...

I pick up this kind of bone
in the rubbish bin every night.

and you sell it for $100?

I cannot cheat customers
like the way you do.

I won't help you do this any more.

What "God of Cookery" are you?
You know nothing but cheating customer.

Can you really cook?
Can you chop ingredients?

Take over, I'll leave now.

He is asking you,

answer him before you leave.

What?

Great!

You're not qualified to be called
"God of Cookery".

I won't argue with you here, shut up.

You aren't even able to sell
"Assorted Noodle" in the street.

Sorry, you're no longer
a staff of our corporation.

I'll call for police
if you keep up this bullshit.

Who are you to talk in front of me?
I'm the real "God of Cookery".

You're not fit to clean my shoes
for me, bastard.

Want to fool me?

I don't fear, come on...

I can kill your whole family.

You needn't threaten me.

Someone is messing here, no photos.

I dare you to take up a chopper

and cook something for us.

You mean I can't cook?

Being chef, you don't even have the
strength to hold a chopper.

Let me teach you

how to prepare
a bowl of delicious "Assorted Noodle".

You must have the heart to cook.

I'm the real "God of Cookery".

I never know...
I really never know what you do next.

I'm graduate
of Chinese Cookery Academy.

I can cook very well,
I can really cook.

Good cooks always result
being as beggars...

You're great, "God of Cookery".

I'm the real "God of Cookery".

Mr. Chow, more than
50 customers feel sick

after eating beef at your restaurant.

We suspect you use British beef
to serve guests.

We want you to assist us
in our investigation now.

I've got good bargain beef,
call this number if you want it.

Small chairs and thick straws.

Big ice-cubes and hot French fries.

So that the kids
get thirsty after eating.

You should know this.
Don't you need me to teach you?

This will be bad
to the children's health.

Besides kicking you,

did Stephen Chow
beat you with his fists?

No, he didn't.

It gets on my nerves,
don't force me anymore.

I am a good guy.

Throw him out.

You haven't selected the turnip properly,
too much fibre, failure.

The pig skin is overcooked, failure!

The pig blood is too soft,
a failure too!

This pig colon is the worst.

It's not properly washed,
you can find shit inside, how come?

This is "Assorted Noodle",

it's not strange to have shit inside.

$23 dollars

You pay me?

You'd better pay me $30
for me to see a doctor.

Please respect me,
at least I'm "God of Cookery".

"God of Cookery"?

"God of Cookery"!

It's true, I'm not joking.

Help me, buddy, just a little bit.

Give me some money, please...

I beg you, please...

Forget it...

Don't hinder us doing business.

Okay!

How do you feel?

I'm fine...

It's bleeding, shit...

I must really see a doctor this time,
please give me some money?

Want to pay me a fool?
No...

I'm sorry, brother...

I'll fool on if you insist on it.
No...

Let's be friendly to each other.

Buddies, I'm "God of Cookery",
please give me face.

Sorry...excuse me...

Beat him! Kick him to death!

Dare you do business here?

Cut his hand off

Beat him!

What is it?

Nothing.

Let me beat him too.

Don't beat anymore...
please...

You needn't beg, move...

Just a blow!
Move...

May be half blow?

Are you hungry?

A little bit.

Want to eat something?

As you like.

This bowl of rice...

is very delicious.

Hey, help us!

Goose head, I'm only a woman,
Don't you insult me?

I remember Uncle Kwan's assistant

chopped on my head...

...but I managed to chop him back,

and they all call me
"Twin Dagger Turkey"!

I've seen everything since I fooled
in Temple Street when I was 12.

You now take this ass-holes
to ruin my place?

You can't scare me!

Turkey, what do you mean?

If I want to ruin your place,
I'll take more guys with me.

I just want to inform you,

all "Pissing Shrimp"
will be ours from now on.

Who do you think you are?

I haven't asked you about "Beef Ball"!

As you say, just shit!

OK, we share "Beef Ball",
I'll take up "Pissing Shrimp"!

We needn't talk about rules then.

I'm setting rules with you now,

we make it 40-60% share.

You get 40%, we get 60%.

No, you think I'm a dummy?

What if we make it 10-90%?
I get 90%, and you 10%.

Don't move!

Stand there or I'll chop you, buddy.

Stand properly!

Don't fool!
Stand properly!

OK, we let you have "Pissing Shrimp",
can you handle?

If we can't, you mean you can?

Our "Pissing Shrimp" are so well-known.

We have perfect proportion of chill
and salt,

we change the oil every night too...

We guarantee we use fresh oil.

We have strong stoves,
and the shrimps are so crispy.

But you spoil the flavor.

Who is shouting out loudly?

But our boiled "Pissing Shrimps"
are better.

Shit, go make your shit beef balls!

Since you fail to make tasty beef balls,
you want to take up "Pissing Shrimps".

If you don't make beef balls,
I'll take over them also.

You are passing up the chance we offer you!

Shit,

mix the "Pissing Shrimps"
and Beef Balls

Who is speaking up again?

Who dare to interrupt me?

Don't just suspect of my guys,

your guys can interrupt too.

My men are well-educated,
they will never interrupt.

Won't they!

Each of you speak out: "Shit,
mix the `Pissing Shrimps' and beef balls."

Did the guy say "shit"?

Yes, I have sharp ears.

You say first!
You say first!

Me first: Shit, mix the
"Pissing Shrimps" and beef balls.

No, not you.

Shit, mix the "Pissing Shrimps"
and beef balls.

You!

Must I speak it while swaying?

As you like.

Shit, mix the...sorry...

Go ahead.

Shit, mix the "Pissing Shrimps"
and beef balls.

You!

Shit, mix the "Pissing Shrimps"
and beef balls.

What did you say?

Fukien dialect.

Fukien dialect? Go home to eat shit!

Shit, mix the "Pissing Shrimps"...

Shit, mix the "Pissing Shrimps"
and beef balls.

Shit! Beef balls...

Shit, mix the "Pissing Shrimps"
and beef balls.

Shit, mix the "Pissing Shrimps"
and beef balls.

You!

What are you laughing?

Say it.

Shit, mix the "Pissing Shrimps"
and beef balls.

You.

Shit mix...

You.

Shit, mix the "Pissing Shrimps"
and beef balls.

Wait.

Say it again.

You!

Shit...mix!

Say it clearly.

...mix!

Bastard, it's you.

Shit, how can you recognize me?

Your voice is horrible,
I can recognize easily.

Turkey, he's your guy, what do you say?

Give me the knife.

Your bastard, you keep bullshit.

Which finger do you want me to cut off?

The nail, please.

What?

Who dare touch him in my place?

What do you mean?

He's my guy, so I must speak up for him.

You mean you don't
follow the rules, beat it.

Bastard!

What is it?

Don't move!

Sister Turkey, I've thought it over...

From now on, all "Pissing Shrimps"
and "Beef Balls" belong to you.

Is it OK?

Sorry to bother you.

It's okay, we're buddies.

It's rare to find
a righteous person like you.

Righteous and honesty...

...is valuable.

I dare to go to hell to fight.

I'm willing to sacrifice for buddies.

I'm willing to die for girls.

Good buddies.

My blood is bleeding for love.

I'm prepared to die.

Who dare to challenge me?

"Pissing Beef Balls"?

Right.

Why are they so elastic.

As these beef balls
are empty in the inside.

It's like the theory
of air-sole sports shoes.

May I try?

Quick.

Very elastic!

Elastic?
Yes, elastic!

We count on her.

"Sister Turkey"
has strong wrist strength.

Only she can make
such perfect beef balls.

The beef must undergo beating and
mixing 26,800 times.

But why is it called
"Pissing Beef Balls"?

Try the whole thing and you'll know.

I've never had this experience before.

The freshness of beef
with the sweetness of shrimps.

This combination

is even better than royal dishes.

It's even better than
my memory of my first love.

Looking at the moon which
reminds me thinking of homeland.

Good poem...

Are you alright?

This is really good stuff!

I've thought of a name:
Explosive Pissing Beef Balls.

We're going to
make big money this time.

Bullshit! You think I am nuts?

It's not that easy to make money.

I believe him! What should we do next?

We should open our first restaurant

and earn our first log of money.

Then I can buy
a new set of karaoke soon?

Turkey, what you just said is a joke?

We should first buy a flat
to earn the rent, ain't I clever?

Sure.

If up to me, I will open more branches.

We can open two, then four,
then eight branches...

Then we can become public companies
and collect capital.

We can sell shares
and do real estate business, nuts!

We can make a sub-division
in the stock market.

With the dividends,
we needn't work at all.

You're laughing? You know all this?

I don't know but
I find it seems meaningful.

Granny, let me serve you
"Pissing Beef Balls".

You won't piss on your pants
after eating them.

Very interesting.

They're really free of charge?

One take away.

We've done
the first transaction already.

We're one step closer
to becoming a public company.

Why haven't you given me the report yet?

Yes, coming.

He's eating.

It's here.

It's free, come in
and eat as much as you can.

Not free! What do you mean...

Action!

The hottest issue in town is

"Averse to food" infecting everyone,

but it's been cured by a so-called
"Pissing Beef Balls".

It's been selling hot
within a short time.

The inventor of
this "Pissing Beef Balls"

is the man of legend...

Stephen Chow,

the former "God of Cookery".

Stephen Chow,

why are your
"Pissing Beef Balls" so popular?

I think...
it's unfair to ask me this way.

You'd better ask the customers
why they rush to eat it.

Little boy, why do you like eating
"Pissing Beef Balls"?

Since eating "Pissing Beef Balls",
I find myself much cleverer,

I've gotten full marks
in each examination.

Is it really so helpful?

I've become prettier
and prettier after eating it...

I've grown up a lot since eating it,

I've got back my confidence.

Are you going to get back your fame
since you make a success here?

Get back my fame?

Could you tell us the secret of
success of your "Pissing Beef Balls"?

It's simple, delicious,
new and interesting.

Interesting? How come?

You're playing Ping-Pong with it?

This stuff deserves to be tried.

It's tasty and interesting,
I can't help buying one for myself.

How come...

he made a fame with such trivial stuff?

Don't worry, it just a trivial stuff.

He can't be a real success with them.

I just fear he'll come back
for us after he's made his fame.

Everyone in Hong Kong knows

beef balls
that you can play Ping-Pong with.

Will I really piss after eating them?

You'll surely have diarrhea
after eating it...

Isn't it miracle?

Great!

It's a miracle,
though you've had such a good start,

it's a bit risky to pledge
all your properties,

I find it risky to open
20 branches at the same time.

You find it risky?

What if we first open 2 branches?

Mr. Chow, since you've
made a first success,

you needn't bet all your money
in the next step.

Don't bullshit!
You know nothing about it!

I don't need you
teach me running business.

Mr. Chow, but with your past record...

it's hard for our bank

to lend you a lump sum.

I guess you have no confidence
in our beef balls.

In fact, I've never tried them.

I seldom eat this kind of snack.

Please try some.

Try some!

You really lent him the money?

Thanks!

I'm just doing what you asked me to.

I know what he has in mind,

he wants to open branches.

All his branches will be

in remote places.

He has one in urban area,
but it's a basement branch.

Hey, do you know feng shui?

You know this word?

Die!

See, he'll get inside an impasse!

Lend him whatever he wants,
let him dig his own grave!

What? Please repeat!

They've made use of the money
to manufacture cans.

Manufacture cans?

Right.

They'll be sold in all 2,800
supermarkets and convenient stores.

I've input all the shops location
into the computer.

Sure win!

I can't predict what he's doing.

Of course, I will surely win!

Excuse me...

Excuse me...please...

Stephen Chow...What is your feeling...

of your being elected
the Genius of Food and Beverage?

I find it like a dream...

it also proves Hong Kong
is a place for miracles

If you work hard,
all dreams may come true.

Ass-hole!

Ass-hole!

Where've you been? You haven't
contact me for a long time.

I thought you were dead.

I'm really dead!
But you must be convinced!

Why must I be convinced?

You never expected me reborn again?

I'm convinced!

I nearly forget to congratulate on you.

Our shops always get rewards,

but it's rare for your lousy friends
to get such a reward.

What did you say?

It's a wonderful world,
you must be really convinced.

Why must I be convinced?

If I hadn't got this award,

I wouldn't be eligible for Competition
of "God of Cookery" next month.

I'm really convinced for this.

Smart!

I don't mean
to show others I'm capable.

I just want to tell others that

I can get back what I have lost.

Let me say the truth,

Mr. Chow, you're really capable

but you must try to learn
some practical cooking.

Chinese Cookery Academy?

I'll apply in tomorrow morning.

Good! I'm glad to hear that.

I don't care how wicked,

sly you were in the past,

if you improve yourself,
we'll surely give you another chance,

Please don't beat me...

I'm always an honest man, I never lie,

I say all this to wish you well.

My only mistake in my life
is underestimating you...

Oh...Mr. Chow...

Look at him...

how naive and lovely he is!

Very vivid too!

You're smart at pissing and dumping...

I didn't know you're smart
at eating shit too!

Stop beating!...

Don't move!...

I must kill this bastard!
I want him to die!

Okay! Let's kill him!

Don't move!...

It's fixed, it's over.

What do you mean be "fixed"?

Something is happening,
let me go and find him!

You'd better save that.

You know nothing but fighting,
did I ask you to fight?

You must watch my ideas!
It's not Temple Street here.

You never improve.

What are you looking?
Want to beat me too?

Never mind her!

Brothers...

We've been staying
in Temple Street for 20 years.

Now we're going to set
into big business and go outside.

Wish our "Pissing Beef Balls"
more success!

Cheers!
Cheers!

Let me congratulate you on...
studying cooking in China tomorrow,

...so that you can get back
your title of "God of Cookery".

None of your business!

I was only joking.

Everybody, it's our last night
in this street.

Look carefully,

we'll rush out of Temple Street
tomorrow and challenge the world!

Sister Turkey says she won't leave.

What does she think?

Sister Turkey said
she will not leave her homeland.

Good! She's got to be a good wife.

I know you've loved her for a long time.

Love you bastard!

Sister Turkey used to be pretty.

So he did really love her.

Turkey was very pretty 3 years ago,

but she had her face spoiled
in a quarrel.

Why did she have a quarrel?

No one ever told me,
I just don't know.

I know the incident,
I was the only witness.

Uncle Kwan's men came
to have supper that night.

He tore apart Turkey's "flag".

Tore apart her "flag"?

Who tore my "flag"?

You ass-hole tore my flag
to clean your running nose?

Damn it! We provide toilet paper here.

Have you asked me?

What did you say?

I like using this to clean my nose.

What can you do to me?

You know who I am? Dare
you talk to me like this?

Stop tearing her flag,
just ruin her place, now!

Act!
Got it!

Dare you fight back?

The chop he gave her
was from hers forehead to nostrils

Here, right at the entrance
of her stall,

he stabbed into her spine...

...and that injured her nerve system,

so she has outpost teeth.

She has to endure her ruined face
for the rest of her life now.

That "flag" incident really hurt her.

What "flag"?

It's your "flag".

My "flag"?

The "flag" of "God of Cookery".

Your posters are really everywhere.

Especially the one in which
you're holding a small kid.

She says you're full of paternal love.

She's your number one crazy fan.

"God of Cookery"!

I must congratulate you then.

- Fat Snow!
- What do you mean, Fat Snow?

I'm talking to you.
I've asked you not to tell others.

In fact, she asked me to tell you
if such a chance arose.

Well, you've told him already,
it's nothing to be shameful of.

It gets on my nerves!

You'll go back alone to China tomorrow?

No one accompanies you?
Let me go with you then.

Taxi!

Where are you?

Where? I'm in China.

You needn't rush away,

Turkey is so kind to you.

Don't bullshit, I can't find
Chinese Cookery Academy now.

No, I've asked people about it.

Right...I find everything here,
toilets, temples...

...but just no Chinese Cookery Academy.

No way,

Maddy's sister's mother's
brother's son says there is.

Why don't you come back first?

Come back?
Don't you know I am on the run?

Don't worried,
Turkey is not here right now.

She's disappeared since you went away.

Where did she go?

I catch you at last!

Good! Catch you now!

You let me catch you at last...

What happens? What happens?

I've bought you much daily sundries.

You left so hurriedly,
I couldn't give them to you last time,

so I come all the way for you.

Don't waste all this stuff.

Thanks.

Hey, please do me a favor.

Draw a heart here,
with an arrow passing through it.

Stop fooling around.

Just a souvenir, come on.

Turkey, let me tell you.

I am sorry that this happened to you.

I am really touching...

But I don't want that, you know?

Sure, of course I know.

Come on, draw it for me, come on.

No problem, drawing a heart
is nothing special.

We're buddies,
let's make things clear first.

I've come all the way here

just to ask you draw me a heart,

and you're losing
your temper for that?

Even if you forget
I've done so much for you,

you must remember
I covered for you and got injured.

I didn't ask you to do
all this for me.

I didn't ask you
to get injured for me either.

What's that got to do with me?

According to your theory, if everyone
comes to get injured for me...

then I'll be running
into great trouble.

Many things are destined
and planned by heavens.

It's useless even if you are injured
20 more times,

you know?

Do you understand?

Hey, do you understand?

Okay.

How come?

What?

It's a rare astronomical phenomenon:
Nine stars joining into one.

When this happens, something
strange always happening.

Don't worry, he'll disappear forever.

The 28th Competition of "God of Cookery"

will start in one minute.

Let's have the honor of our judge...

Chairperson of international Gourmet
Society, the 'Princess of Taste'...

Miss Nancy Sit

Half minute to starting.

According to the rules,

all late comers will be disqualified.

No excuse is allowed.

All participants,
please get into your position.

I've checked, no one is coming,

the match will start soon.

Bastard, what a surprise.

Isn't he...

Madam, please go faster.

This is the fastest I can.

No way out.

Just arrive on time.

You?

Amida Buddha.

Who are you?

Dean of Shaolin Monastery,
my name is "Wet Dream".

Amida Buddha.

I come and leave with the wind.

Hey, I'm a good friend of Stephen Chow,
please respect me.

I beg you...please.

Security, throw this guy out.

Please close the gate

and prevent anyone
with wet dreams coming in.

Okay, the last participant has arrived.

The match start now.

I won't move before
my enemies take action.

I would like to know,
why Stephen Chow looks like this.

Why does he dress in ancient clothing?
Why does all his hair become white?

Is there a wire

so that he can fly over water?

Sir, He's now
an understudy of Shaolin Monastery.

Shaolin Monastery.

Amida Buddha.

I can only tell you,
He's linked with Buddha.

Based on sympathy,
I received him as a understudy.

Don't move!

You have been wounded by poisonous throne.

Luckily the poison
hasn't reached your brain.

Otherwise you'd die at once.

I've sucked out 80%
of the poison already.

Let me suck the remaining,

please.

Leave me alone!

I won't force you since you refuse.

You'll be in trouble,
Dean is very narrow-minded.

I hate people talking about me
behind my back.

Out!

Out!

Me out?

We're choosing the "God of Cookery",
not a clown in a circus.

Besides being a master in cooking,

God of cookery must be smart.

You want to be "God of Cookery"?...

No way!

Eighteen Brassmen of Shaolin Monastery?

Right! Eighteen Brassmen
of Shaolin Monastery!

You've enraged the Dean,
you want to escape? No way!

Out!

Why?

Look at you, has your father just died?

Go home and face the mirror, out!

What are you looking at?

Out!

Why?

Being "God of Cookery",
one must have concentration.

All of you keep standing here

when I merely move, shit!

You make me disappointed, out!

If you keep faulting them out,
there'll be no one left.

I know it!

Since the beginning of the match,

I've found two guys keeping calm,

They are the only
two qualified participants.

Why did you kill people?

You taught me that.

As I like it.

Please reform and believe in Buddha.

Well, I'm making the dish
"Buddha Jumping Wall".

What a coincidence! I'm making
"Buddha Jumping Wall" too.

Don't think...

you'll be a sure win by
dressing in ancient costume.

I can do that too! Want to become
"God of Cookery"? Till after you die.

Super-style cutting!

Supreme-style chopping!

Good Chopping!

So fast!

Eighteen-style frying!

Dog-beating sauteeing!

Good frying!

Objection! He is copying me!

Did he?

He does exactly what I'm doing!

Does he?

Look! You see now?

But this is a competition.

It's like racing and swimming,

everyone is doing the same thing.

There's nothing to object.

Overruled!

Thanks!

Bastard!

See you how to receive this chopper?

Uncle...

Nothing serious...
it's only the back of the chopper...

The back of the chopper?
Right.

You've really visited
Chinese Cookery Academy?

Stop pretending.

The Chinese Cookery Academy is
the kitchen of Shaolin Monastery.

You're also a dropout
of Shaolin Monastery!

Impossible!

I have studied for ten years,

but you have studied for only
one month, you can't be so smart!

It's depended on talent.

Eighteen Brassmen of Shaolin Monastery!

Damned fool!

OK, the small "Ten".

One "Ten", right? Pass.

Pass? I know you will pass me.

- "Queen"
- "Queen"?

Man, when can I leave this place?

"Two", only after the Dean
says it's okay.

When will Dean say that, Man?

Look...

That old bag enraged Dean
when he was 13,

and he's been detained here until now.

What does that mean?

You pass "Five of a Kind"?
Pass.

What does that mean?
You lost double this time.

Unreasonable.

Eighteen Brassmen of Shaolin Monastery!

Besides I learnt cooking skills
in the kitchen of Shaolin Monastery,

I also learnt supreme Kung Fu
from the eighteen Brassmen.

These eighteen Brassmen are really great.

I don't believe that!

Good "Flying Skills"!

The secret of "Flying Skills"

it can make a man as heavy as a seal...

fly up high in the sky,
and make ghosts cry.

Good folding chair!

The secret of "Folding Chair"

it's hidden in common household.

We can sit on them
and also turn them into weapons.

Even the police can't
charge you for them.

It's ranked top in the seven weapons.

Just beat two more strokes,
only 3 minutes left, watch out for time.

Don't shout!

It's bad!

It's bad? How bad?

We do not allow
"Buddha Jumping Wall" to explode.

You should have been disqualified.

...but I consider that
you are quite creative.

Two minutes left, make another one.

Only two minutes,
you can only make sasumi,

give up man!

Good "Internal Skills"!

He uses "Internal Skills"
to raise the temperature.

So the "Buddha Jumping Wall",
which originally takes 49 hours to cook,

...can now be made in 2 minutes.

May I ask what is the most tasty thing
you've even eaten in your life?

You should ask
this question to yourself.

Ask myself?

Right.

Who are you talking to?

This is supersonic chatting.

This is...

"Kouyum Skill"?
Wrong!

This is "Sorrowful Hand".

"Sorrowful Hand"?

This is a style created by him.

One day, I saw him...

...singing sorrowfully.

Righteous and honesty is valuable.

I dare to go to fight.

I'm willing to sacrifice for buddies.

I'm willing to die for girls...

His hair turned white overnight.

His love is so deep.

What is love? Why is forever?

Finding that he is addicted to love,
I forgave him.

I never knew
you're such a romantic man.

Lost skill of Shaolin Monastery:
"Fire Fist"!

Time's up! The match is over!

It smells good!

It smells good!
Right!

Yeah, This is...

Super Seaview "Buddha Jumping Wall"!

Good! Good! Good!...

This "Buddha Jumping Wall",
prepared by "Internal Skills"...

is so well prepared, not thick
nor thin, and not so unctuous.

The nine ingredients make up
a total of 81 varieties.

The flavors stack up
one layer by one layer.

It deserves to be called:
"Super Seaview Buddha Jumping Wall"!

And this is...

"Sorrowful Rice".

What's wrong with you?
This is just ordinary BBQ Pork Rice.

With just one extra egg on it,

costs only $22 at most.

Why you call it "Sorrowful Rice"?

Don't pretend being smart!

Bullshit! I dare say...

no one dare say "Smart"
in front of me.

Will you please keep quiet!

BBQ Pork, good BBQ Pork!

I've never eaten such good BBQ Pork!

Help...

The gravy is kept
inside the meat fibre.

It's so tender and juicy.

They're so soft and bouncy to eat.

With the extra egg made by "Fire Fist",

the taste of BBQ Pork is unbelievable.

Why? Why? Why?...

Why do you let me eat such
good bowl of BBQ Pork Rice?

What shall I do if you don't cook it
for me in the future?

What is it?

Why do tears burst from my eyes?

I have a sorrowful feeling.

It's the onion. I've added onion inside.

Oh! It hits the topic!

So there's onion!

This bowl of rice is really touching.

No wonder it's called "Sorrowful Rice".

It's really so sorrowful!

It's too touching!

Wonderful!

However...

If my husband were not so horny

and caught in a trap...

If I were not greedy
and caught while I was cheating.

The worst is...

Greet the Boss.
Boss.

Even my good son has been kicked
and joined the Triad now.

These guys are really holding me
by the balls, I...

The "God of Cookery" is...

Bull Tong!

Bull Tong is finally "God of Cookery"!

You've wasted your breath,
you still have to choose me.

There's no "God of Cookery".

What? What did you say?

Maybe everyone is "God of Cookery"
What do you mean?

Don't bullshit, present the prize.

Even parents, brothers, sisters and
lovers, as long as they have heart

What do you mean?

Everyone can become "God of Cookery".

He has gone mad because he lost,
call for an ambulance.

"God of Cookery",
get back to your position.

"God of Cookery", you used to be a fairy
in mastering cooking skills,

but you broken heaven's rules,

so you were punished by being
forced to descend to Earth.

Today, you finally know
the truth of cooking.

You've shown your love
in the rice you cooked.

Even the King of Heaven is impressed.

But you revealed Heaven's secret,
you should be punished.

I spare you now
as you did so out of deep love.

Stephen, you've invested a lot!

You even hired a fake fairy.

Good! I'll see
what you can do with fairy.

Ask the fairy to help you...

You black mouth dog,
you aren't keeping guard at the door.

I must restore your original appearance.

You want to try too?

No!...none of my business,
I'm only passing by!

I don't know anyone in here.

I don't know the guys who were shooting!

Bullshit! You're worse than a dog!

Uncle really becomes a dog!

Ridiculous! Nothing happen to me!

This is only illusion!

You never scare me!

Everything is possible,
is it Christmas now?

Sir, you're born with fairy bones,
your eyes show holy light.

You're a fairy descended on Earth,
I've found you at last!

How come there are so many fairies?

Yes!

Fairies are
everywhere in the street.

Even Santa Claus is a fairy.

Don't bullshit!

Wait, I can tell you about
your marriage,

show me your palm.

Your marriage is soon coming, soon...

Is it really true? No way?

It's true, it's she who asked us
to not show up for the match.

As she was concerned you
would lose concentration.

Yes.

No way!

Really, she resisted the bullet
with her gold teeth.

She survives, and the
doctor gave her new teeth,

and even plastic surgery,
she's become pretty now.

No way!

It's true!

Look, here she comes.

Is it Pretty?

Just say something, is she pretty?

I shouldn't say anything now.

Give it back to you!