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1
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[theme music]
2
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[crowd cheering and applauding]
3
00:00:28,486 --> 00:00:29,946
Wow. Hey.
4
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,698
[Phil laughing]
Hey, guys.
5
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,867
Hey, man. Hey.
6
00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:36,036
How's it going? Good to hear.
7
00:00:36,244 --> 00:00:37,370
Yeah.
8
00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:40,206
-It's me, Phil Wang.
-[crowd] Phil Wang!
9
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Yeah, brother. Phil Wang.
10
00:00:41,916 --> 00:00:43,918
Holy shit! All Wangs in the house.
11
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Philly Philly Wang Wang here at last.
12
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-[crowd laughing]
-[Phil laughing]
13
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Old Wangnam style. Hot damn.
14
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:52,677
[crowd laughing]
15
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Quit rubbing your eyes, buddy.
Believe it. It's me, Phil Wang.
16
00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:57,265
In the flesh.
17
00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,727
Old, old Kim Jung Fun.
18
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-Aaa--
-[crowd laughing]
19
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:05,940
Starting is the hardest part.
20
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:09,527
Comedians employ tricks
to make starting go more smoothly.
21
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:12,280
What a lot of comedians like to do
is start by...
22
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:14,532
by pointing out
a celebrity they look like.
23
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,409
You know, like a... like a...
24
00:01:16,993 --> 00:01:19,579
like a weird thing
they might bare a resemblance to.
25
00:01:19,954 --> 00:01:22,248
It's funny. Apparently,
if you look at me, right?
26
00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:25,043
And like squint really hard....
27
00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:27,545
aaa... that's racist.
28
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-So, don't do it.
-[crowd laughing]
29
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[someone clapping hands]
30
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Horrible impression.
31
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-[crowd laughing]
-[Phil laughing]
32
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[taking deep breath]
33
00:01:38,389 --> 00:01:41,434
It's lovely to be here, in Atlanta.
I'm not from here.
34
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I'm from the UK.
35
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Oh my god. I love my accent.
36
00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:48,191
[crowd laughing]
37
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It's hot. It's hot.
38
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I a... Thank you.
39
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I am...
40
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twenty eight years old.
41
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I'm getting old. Holy shit, I'm old.
42
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Twenty eight's old as hell.
Don't look at me like that, lady.
43
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:03,414
Twenty eight... is so old.
44
00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:06,751
All these milestones are zipping by me
without me noticing.
45
00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:11,965
I'm at an age, now, where all my friends
have started having podcasts.
46
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-And--
-[crowd laughing]
47
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[crowd laughing and applauding]
48
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It's horrible.
49
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:23,768
They're all asking when I'm gonna have one
of my own. I don't know.
50
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:24,769
[crowd laughing]
51
00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,855
Don't want to settle down, just yet.
52
00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:30,150
Still looking
for that one special microphone.
53
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:31,609
-I a--
-[crowd laughing]
54
00:02:31,734 --> 00:02:35,446
I'm old as shit, man.
My body's going to hell in a handbasket.
55
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My farts now. Oh, shit.
My farts are terrible.
56
00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:41,619
My farts have become so bad.
I thought my farts were bad before.
57
00:02:42,036 --> 00:02:44,831
They were, practically, aroma therapy.
My farts now--
58
00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:47,375
-[crowd laughing]
-revolting. Just, uggh...
59
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Ha... ha...
Have you ever done a fart so bad,
60
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that you lost a bar of wifi?
61
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-Cause I swear--
-[crowd laughing]
62
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I was at home the other night,
and let one rip, and Netflix got fuzzy.
63
00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:03,057
-You know--
-[crowd laughing]
64
00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:06,394
If you're watching this at home
and my face just got grainy...
65
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:08,855
someone in your room
just let the devil out.
66
00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:10,940
-A--
-[crowd laughing]
67
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It's a real privilege to be here,
doing a little Netflix special.
68
00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:18,531
It's wonderful to be here.
I watch a lot of Netflix.
69
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-A... a...
-[crowd laughing and applauding]
70
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I think they're a wonderful company,
with excellent taste.
71
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[crowd laughing]
72
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:32,003
I don't watch none of them
horror movies they have.
73
00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:33,755
Oh, I hate scary movies.
74
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,007
Yuck. I hate scary movies.
75
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[crowd laughing]
76
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:39,552
Does anyone like scary movies?
77
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[crowd wowing]
78
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Yeah? Go fuck yourselves.
I hate scary movies.
79
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[crowd laughing]
80
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They're too scary.
81
00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:47,185
[crowd laughing]
82
00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:50,730
Have you noticed?
They scare the shit out of me, every time.
83
00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:53,608
They make me feel
like a little bitch, every time.
84
00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:56,444
I hate... Every time I see a scary movie
85
00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:58,947
little Wang is scared for days, aw!
86
00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:00,073
[crowd laughing]
87
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I curl up, I can't sleep, I cry.
I hate scary movies.
88
00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:06,162
There are people out there who love them.
People that seek them out.
89
00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:08,665
Who specifically enjoy the sensation...
90
00:04:08,873 --> 00:04:09,916
of being scared...
91
00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:11,125
by a movie.
92
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:14,587
I don't understand that impulse, at all.
93
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I've... I've never been frightened...
94
00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:18,800
in real life...
95
00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:22,929
and gone: ''Oh, Jesus.
Oh, God. Oh, no. Please.''
96
00:04:23,012 --> 00:04:25,932
[expressing fear and frustration]
97
00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:29,185
-Yeah, I'll pay for that. Yeah, all right.
-[crowd laughing]
98
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:32,647
That was horrible.
I'll feel that again for a price. Sure.
99
00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:33,690
[crowd laughing]
100
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:34,899
Makes no sense to me.
101
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:38,653
But I have a friend like this.
Back in the UK I have a friend, Jason.
102
00:04:38,736 --> 00:04:39,988
Loves scary movies, Jason.
103
00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:42,573
He loves scary movies.
Can't get enough scary movies.
104
00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:46,244
Absolutely adores scary movies,
does our Jason.
105
00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:47,996
Now, Jason is, hum...
106
00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:48,913
black.
107
00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:50,748
Which I only mention
108
00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:53,334
because you imagined him white,
and he isn't.
109
00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:59,924
[crowd laughing and applauding]
110
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He's black. Black guy.
111
00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:05,513
His race is not particularly irrelevant
in this joke.
112
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-Why shouldn't you have the whole picture?
-[crowd laughing]
113
00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:11,519
Seems unnecessary.
Jason's always trying to get me
114
00:05:11,602 --> 00:05:13,938
to go to the cinema
to watch scary movies with him.
115
00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:17,317
But I was like noooo, black Jason.
I don't say that.
116
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-[Phil shouting] I say no.
-[crowd laughing]
117
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I say no, Jason my friend. No.
118
00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:24,157
I don't wanna go to the cinema
119
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[funny voice]
and watch a scary movie.
120
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:29,078
I don't want to pay money to feel worse.
121
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,246
[crowd laughing]
122
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,165
That's all it boils down to for me.
123
00:05:32,248 --> 00:05:34,042
I don't want to pay money
and feel worse.
124
00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:36,669
That's a bad exchange in Wang's books.
125
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,254
[crowd laughing]
126
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,505
That's a raw deal.
127
00:05:39,922 --> 00:05:43,051
I was thinking about it.
It's such a Western privilege,
128
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:44,302
don't you think?
129
00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:46,512
To be able
to enjoy something like a...
130
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:47,638
scary movie.
131
00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:48,973
What a first world...
132
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Western... privilege.
133
00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:53,394
I mean, how comfortable... is your life...
134
00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:57,523
that you have the time,
expendable income,
135
00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,233
and desire...
136
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:00,777
to pay money...
137
00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:02,362
to feel fear.
138
00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:05,281
[crowd laughing]
139
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,491
For fun.
140
00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:07,950
[crowd laughing]
141
00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:11,120
Oh, oh, oh, This is what it feels like,
oh, oh It's pathetic.
142
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,789
-Like--
-[crowd laughing]
143
00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:14,957
That's a purely Western privilege.
144
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:19,170
Like, no one in Syria saw The Babadook.
They don't need it.
145
00:06:19,253 --> 00:06:21,089
-They--
-[crowd laughing]
146
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:24,550
They're busy. The market's flooded
for horror, there, there, there.
147
00:06:24,842 --> 00:06:27,261
I don't know.
It's a kind of masochism, isn't it?
148
00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:29,806
Enjoying a scary movie
is a sort of masochism.
149
00:06:30,014 --> 00:06:33,810
To derive a sort of perverse pleasure
from a pain. Masochism.
150
00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:37,188
And I understand masochism.
I have to say I do under...
151
00:06:37,438 --> 00:06:38,523
understand masochism.
152
00:06:38,606 --> 00:06:40,066
-Because, ah--
-[crowd laughing]
153
00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:42,151
Because I love spicy food.
154
00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:43,486
Humpf!
155
00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:45,571
Yeah, classic masochism there.
156
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:47,949
Hurts me on my fat Chinese lips,
but, humpf...
157
00:06:48,032 --> 00:06:50,535
-[crowd laughing]
-Spicy Wang wants it 24/7.
158
00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:52,161
[crowd laughing]
159
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:54,414
I guess spicy food
is my scary movies, right?
160
00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:56,916
If you think about it,
spicy food is a lot like...
161
00:06:56,999 --> 00:06:58,000
scary movies.
162
00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:04,048
You know? If it's good, you feel alive,
excited. An addictive...
163
00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:05,883
[crowd laughing]
164
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:08,136
If it's really good,
165
00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:11,514
-you shit yourself.
-[crowd laughing]
166
00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:14,809
[crowd continuously laughing]
167
00:07:14,892 --> 00:07:16,727
Mmmm!
168
00:07:16,894 --> 00:07:18,896
That's me. Phil Wang. I'm Phil Wang.
169
00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:23,276
As my name suggests, I am half white
and half Chinese in that order.
170
00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:25,236
-[deep breath]
-[crowd laughing]
171
00:07:25,319 --> 00:07:28,573
Which technically makes me
the world's most powerful race.
172
00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:32,452
-[crowd laughing]
-[Phil laughing]
173
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:35,621
No matter what happens
over the next 50 years, I'm fine.
174
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:38,624
-I--
-[crowd laughing]
175
00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:40,543
I used to think I was a minority.
176
00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:43,379
-I'm both majorities.
-[crowd laughing]
177
00:07:43,504 --> 00:07:46,215
It's great, man.
I'm alien and predator. Like--
178
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:49,969
[crowd laughing and applauding]
179
00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:51,846
Whoever wins, Wang wins.
180
00:07:51,929 --> 00:07:53,514
[crowd laughing]
181
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:54,640
That's my motto.
182
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,603
It's the way of the world. White people
and Chinese people...
183
00:07:58,686 --> 00:08:00,104
rule the world.
184
00:08:00,229 --> 00:08:03,316
Cause of all that time they've saved
not to dancing.
185
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:09,864
-[deep breath]
-[crowd laughing]
186
00:08:10,364 --> 00:08:13,201
I a...
[making funny laughter]
187
00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:15,536
Anyway, I'm from the UK.
188
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:19,040
I grew up in Malaysia.
A little country named Malaysia.
189
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:23,461
Where my father's from,
and my mother's from England.
190
00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:26,547
She flew to Malaysia.�Malaysia used to be
part of the English empire.
191
00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:29,967
My mother was sent,
as a volunteer�archaeologist, to Malaysia
192
00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:31,219
to dig it up,
193
00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:33,930
see if they missed anything
the first time around.
194
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:35,890
[crowd laughing]
195
00:08:35,973 --> 00:08:39,393
When she got to Malaysia she noticed
it was a dangerous place, right?
196
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:43,022
She decided to take up
martial arts lessons to learn how to,
197
00:08:43,105 --> 00:08:45,233
-oh yeah, to defend herself.
-[crowd laughing]
198
00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:47,151
She turns up at the Dojo
199
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:50,321
and who was my mother's kung fu teacher?
200
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:53,491
But ?oooold? papa Wang.
201
00:08:53,574 --> 00:08:55,576
[crowd laughing]
202
00:08:56,744 --> 00:08:59,163
My father, not me.
I don't call myself papa Wang.
203
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,249
[crowd laughing]
204
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:04,335
I didn't "Back to the Future" my mom.
It was my dad.
205
00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:09,715
Some half-white fellow. But I tended
to be identified as Chinese in the West.
206
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:13,302
You tend to be defined�with
what separates you from your environment.
207
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:17,056
In the UK and America, I'm a Chinese guy.
In Malaysia I'm the white guy.
208
00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:18,432
[crowd laughing]
209
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:21,269
That was me. All white Wang
walking down the road. That was me.
210
00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:25,147
All the locals would look out the window.
Shit, white Wang's coming.
211
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,441
-[crowd laughing]
-Lock up the bread.
212
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:32,321
[crowd laughing and applauding]
213
00:09:32,446 --> 00:09:34,949
I'm happy to be defined that way.
I'm proud to be Chinese.
214
00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:36,158
It's great being Chinese.
215
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,536
We don't tell ya'll
cause we don't want you joining.
216
00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:39,996
[crowd laughing]
217
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:42,081
It's too many members already, but...
218
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:44,500
it's great. It's great being Chinese.
219
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,419
Lot of perks.
Lot of perks to being Chinese.
220
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,380
Good family values. Fun festivals.
221
00:09:50,047 --> 00:09:53,217
Um, You don't have to change
the color on your emoji's.
222
00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:54,510
Saves a lot of time.
223
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,554
-[crowd laughing]
-[Phil laughing funny]
224
00:09:56,637 --> 00:09:59,223
-Um,
-[crowd laughing]
225
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:02,059
You get to learn some funky languages,
as well, when you're Chinese.
226
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:05,688
When I was a kid in Malaysia
I learned some Mandarin. Mandarin Chinese.
227
00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:07,398
I've forgotten a bit of my Mandarin.
228
00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:10,568
The bit that I've forgotten
is all of the reading and writing.
229
00:10:10,651 --> 00:10:12,361
[crowd laughing]
230
00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:15,406
Chinese writing is very difficult,
It's not like English.
231
00:10:15,489 --> 00:10:19,452
There's no alphabet from which you can
build any word that comes into your head.
232
00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:21,662
[making funny sounds]�Quidditch. Fuck off.
233
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,956
-[crowd laughing]
-Chinese--
234
00:10:24,081 --> 00:10:26,709
Chinese is a real... language.
235
00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:29,962
You just have to memorize
ten thousand pictures--
236
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,048
[crowd laughing]
237
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:33,633
and hope for the best.
238
00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:36,344
[crowd laughing]
239
00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:39,847
The speaking tends to be
more manageable. Speaking Chinese.
240
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:42,433
I try to practice my speaking
whenever I can.
241
00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:46,145
I had an opportunity, recently,
in Kuala Lumpur. The capitol of Malaysia.
242
00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:50,900
I was talking to a woman, who I thought
was Chinese. She looked Chinese to me.
243
00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:53,653
[crowd laughing]
244
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:55,780
She was Chinese.
I get it right every time.
245
00:10:55,863 --> 00:10:57,031
[crowd laughing]
246
00:10:57,114 --> 00:10:59,575
I'm working on a perfect score.
I said, where are you from?
247
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:02,495
She said, China.
And I thought, yes, perfect score.
248
00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:05,956
Then I thought what a prime opportunity
for young Wang, over here,
249
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,626
to demonstrate his mad Mandarin skills
in front of a local.
250
00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:11,879
So, I plucked up my courage
and came up with a plan.
251
00:11:11,962 --> 00:11:16,467
I decided, I was going to tell her,
in Mandarin, that I could speak Mandarin.
252
00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:19,720
In Mandarin. Mandarin squared.
Mandarin-ception.
253
00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:21,347
[crowd laughing]
254
00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:24,642
So, I got ready and I said,
oh, you're from China.
255
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:27,937
[Phil speaking Mandarin]
256
00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:30,064
[crowd laughing]
257
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:31,899
Then she said
258
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:36,278
''Hmm, hmm. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
259
00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:38,906
And that was it.
[Phil shouting]
260
00:11:38,989 --> 00:11:40,991
I was so annoyed.
I thought she'd be more impressed,
261
00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:43,077
that White Wang could speak Chinese,
but whatever.
262
00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:45,788
Whatever.
We continue our conversation in English.
263
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:48,666
We get onto the subject
of why she is in Malaysia.
264
00:11:48,749 --> 00:11:50,292
She tells me that she's traveling.
265
00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:53,087
I decide to try my Mandarin
one more time.
266
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:55,339
And ask her if she's traveling alone.
267
00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:57,133
So, I said
268
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,802
[Phil speaking Mandarin]
269
00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:02,346
-[taking deep breath]
-[crowd laughing]
270
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,306
Then, she said...
271
00:12:05,015 --> 00:12:06,517
Oh, you speak Chinese.
272
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,144
[crowd laughing]
273
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,687
On the one hand,
274
00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:11,772
[crowd laughing]
275
00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:15,025
I was glad she now knew
I could speak Chinese.
276
00:12:16,193 --> 00:12:17,737
But on the other hand,
277
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:21,157
what did she think I was doing
the first time?
278
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:25,077
[crowd laughing]
279
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:28,998
Because from her perspective,
I went ''Oh, you're from China.''
280
00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:30,666
[Phil speaking funny Mandarin]
281
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:35,045
?Ching ching chong, ching ching�chong
Ching ching, pong pong, dong dong?
282
00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:39,633
[crowd laughing and applauding]
283
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,802
She was so polite. She went...
284
00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:44,388
-[affirmation sound]
-''Yeah, okay.''
285
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:45,681
[crowd laughing]
286
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:46,766
''Yeah, okay.''
287
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:49,393
That's us. Right.
288
00:12:49,518 --> 00:12:53,606
[crowd laughing]
289
00:12:53,814 --> 00:12:56,567
I'm practicing my Mandarin
to prepare for the...
290
00:12:56,859 --> 00:13:00,112
the oncoming invasion.
The Chinese invasion that's coming West.
291
00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:03,115
It's happening. It's happening, guys.
China's coming.
292
00:13:04,074 --> 00:13:06,035
China coming.
I'm not supposed to tell you,
293
00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:07,995
I'm breaking rank. China coming.
294
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:12,124
Watch yourselves. China coming.
Wang's gone rogue. China coming, ya'll.
295
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:14,210
[crowd laughing]
296
00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:17,463
I mean, I'll be fine,
but I'm worried about you guys.
297
00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:21,300
I've grown to like you and I don't want
anything bad to happen to you.
298
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:24,804
Make no mistake about it,
I will turn coat the second they get here.
299
00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:27,348
I will not help you. You're on your own.
300
00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:30,893
The second the Chinese get here,
I will sell you suckers out,
301
00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:34,146
faster than you can say Panda Express.
The second they get here.
302
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,773
[crowd laughing]
303
00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:40,820
How about ''Comrades,
thank Buddha you're here. Yes, kill them.
304
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:42,279
[crowd laughing]
305
00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:44,698
Kill these white demons. They're all...
306
00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:46,575
They're all hiding in Whole Foods.
307
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,618
Kill them!
308
00:13:47,701 --> 00:13:48,911
[crowd laughing]
309
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:51,580
The big one's are in Burger King.
Use them for fuel.
310
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,541
-[Phil laughing]
-[crowd laughing]
311
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,460
They're animals these white devils.
A ha ha!
312
00:13:56,544 --> 00:14:00,047
They celebrate New Years so early.
313
00:14:00,130 --> 00:14:02,091
[crowd laughing]
314
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:04,802
They wear their shoes in my house.
[shouting] Kill them.
315
00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:06,720
[crowd laughing]
316
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:09,306
Turn their heads
into one of our delicious broths.
317
00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:13,644
Thanks so much for having me.
I'm Phil Wang. Have a wonderful life.
318
00:14:13,727 --> 00:14:14,728
Bye. Love you.
319
00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:21,777
[crowd wowing, cheering and applauding]
320
00:14:21,827 --> 00:14:26,377
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