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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,400
Are you guys ready to laugh tonight?
2
00:00:02,435 --> 00:00:04,169
[cheers and applause]
3
00:00:05,289 --> 00:00:09,692
Welcome to the final episode of the season.
4
00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:11,527
Make some noise.
5
00:00:11,595 --> 00:00:13,830
[cheers and applause]
6
00:00:13,897 --> 00:00:15,665
It's show time right now.
7
00:00:15,732 --> 00:00:17,767
So when our show premieres,
please, please, please,
8
00:00:17,835 --> 00:00:19,902
please tell your friends to watch.
9
00:00:19,970 --> 00:00:21,903
I need to keep this job.
10
00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:25,942
And don't forget to laugh!
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(man) Going in three, two...
12
00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:31,280
(male announcer) Ladies and gentlemen,
13
00:00:31,348 --> 00:00:34,483
please welcome Billy Crystal and Josh Gad.
14
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[cheers and applause]
15
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Hello, wow. Wow, wow.
16
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- Thank you.
- Thank you.
17
00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:46,529
Thank you. Thank you, guys.
18
00:00:46,597 --> 00:00:47,964
Thank you. Thank you.
19
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,666
What a great crowd. What a great crowd.
20
00:00:50,734 --> 00:00:52,735
Yes. Thank you.
21
00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:54,170
- What a crowd.
- Welcome.
22
00:00:54,238 --> 00:00:56,005
Welcome to our last episode of the season.
23
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You know, it's very exciting
24
00:00:57,507 --> 00:00:59,187
because we've been on a real great journey.
25
00:00:59,209 --> 00:01:01,811
Josh and I did not know
each other when this started,
26
00:01:01,879 --> 00:01:05,314
and now here we are, 13 episodes later.
27
00:01:05,382 --> 00:01:06,782
- And we're...
- The best friends.
28
00:01:06,850 --> 00:01:09,151
We're friends.
29
00:01:09,219 --> 00:01:10,586
(Mitch) Things have been tense.
30
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I guess Josh was talking shit about Billy,
31
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and Billy overheard it.
32
00:01:14,224 --> 00:01:16,224
And then Billy said, "We're not friends,"
33
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to Josh in front of everyone.
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When the camera's rolling, they're great,
35
00:01:20,430 --> 00:01:23,154
but off-screen, they
don't talk to each other.
36
00:01:23,179 --> 00:01:26,033
They just head off opposite
directions and go home.
37
00:01:26,737 --> 00:01:30,603
All the silence and the repressed emotions.
38
00:01:33,410 --> 00:01:34,853
Why are you smiling?
39
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- Did I smile?
- Yeah.
40
00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:38,981
I didn't mean to smile. I did...
41
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I guess it just reminds me of my childhood.
42
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[laughter]
43
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Listen, we have a great
show for you tonight.
44
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Great show.
45
00:01:46,256 --> 00:01:47,857
The Charlieand
the Tuna Factory sketch
46
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may be the best thing we've done all year.
47
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- We cut that sketch.
- We've got a good show for you.
48
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We do, so stick around.
49
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- You've been great.
- Thank you.
50
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:59,135
Thanks for a great year, everybody.
51
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:02,939
There is a flight to London
at noon the day after you wrap.
52
00:02:03,006 --> 00:02:05,174
Mm, nothing earlier?
53
00:02:05,242 --> 00:02:06,482
Wow.
54
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:08,044
Wow, you really cannot wait
55
00:02:08,111 --> 00:02:09,512
for the show to be over, can you?
56
00:02:09,579 --> 00:02:10,579
Oh, it's not that, honey.
57
00:02:10,614 --> 00:02:11,774
I just want to spend more time
58
00:02:11,782 --> 00:02:13,516
with my beautiful wife
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who happens to have an ass like a peach.
60
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That's all.
61
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:17,954
Aww.
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00:02:18,021 --> 00:02:19,989
There's that
full-of-shit smile.
63
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,290
I haven't seen that one in a while.
64
00:02:21,358 --> 00:02:23,059
What?
65
00:02:23,126 --> 00:02:25,126
You obviously have not
made things right with Josh.
66
00:02:25,128 --> 00:02:26,262
What's to make right?
67
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The show ends in five days,
68
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we're gonna get a shitty time slot,
69
00:02:28,999 --> 00:02:30,032
and then we'll get canceled.
70
00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:31,100
That's all.
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- Uh-huh?
- Uh-huh.
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00:02:32,536 --> 00:02:33,319
And then you can start your new career
73
00:02:33,344 --> 00:02:34,288
as a motivational speaker.
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00:02:34,405 --> 00:02:36,125
Honey, you know what
it's like with costars.
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Some of them you love. Some you like.
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00:02:38,545 --> 00:02:40,373
Some you just do the work, and you go home.
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00:02:40,398 --> 00:02:42,065
He and I are really good on-camera,
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00:02:42,133 --> 00:02:44,053
and as far as I'm concerned,
that's all that matters.
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Bullshit. Bullshit.
80
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You were starting to feel
like a father figure to him,
81
00:02:48,845 --> 00:02:49,845
and you know it.
82
00:02:49,879 --> 00:02:51,013
- Father figure?
- Yes.
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Okay, I'm a father figure to Josh?
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All right. Boy.
85
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Well, there's a diaper
I do not want to change.
86
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[bright piano music]
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(man) Tonight on PBS,
The Unknown Chaplin.
88
00:03:05,428 --> 00:03:11,266
89
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[frantic piano music]
90
00:03:14,404 --> 00:03:16,471
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00:03:16,539 --> 00:03:17,839
All right?
92
00:03:17,907 --> 00:03:20,387
It's all right. Thank you.
93
00:03:23,758 --> 00:03:26,615
Your wings here... can I?
94
00:03:26,683 --> 00:03:28,483
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- It's just a little crooked.
95
00:03:28,551 --> 00:03:30,085
- Good?
- No, they're still crooked.
96
00:03:30,153 --> 00:03:32,183
I don't know how to do that.
97
00:03:34,190 --> 00:03:35,857
So you pretty stoked to be done?
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00:03:35,925 --> 00:03:37,325
Stoked? I don't know.
99
00:03:37,393 --> 00:03:39,316
It will be nice to take a breath, though.
100
00:03:40,129 --> 00:03:42,847
Yeah, well, it sure will.
101
00:03:44,333 --> 00:03:45,573
- Denis is here.
- Yeah, I know.
102
00:03:45,635 --> 00:03:47,135
I saw him.
103
00:03:47,203 --> 00:03:49,204
He's with that other executive, Wendy,
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the one who always looks like somebody's
105
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standing on her balls.
106
00:03:52,175 --> 00:03:53,655
Yeah, I know who you're talking about.
107
00:03:53,976 --> 00:03:55,711
She really doesn't care
for comedy much, does she?
108
00:03:55,778 --> 00:03:57,179
Oh, it's on her business card:
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"Vice President of Comedy,
which I really don't care for."
110
00:04:01,312 --> 00:04:03,618
[cheers and applause]
111
00:04:06,322 --> 00:04:07,923
When this is done, tonight,
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00:04:07,990 --> 00:04:10,992
you maybe want to... maybe
want to get a slice of pie?
113
00:04:11,060 --> 00:04:12,494
Pie?
114
00:04:12,562 --> 00:04:14,042
I don't even know why I just said pie.
115
00:04:14,063 --> 00:04:15,097
I don't even like pie.
116
00:04:15,164 --> 00:04:16,364
You want to maybe grab a drink,
117
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hang out, decompress?
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00:04:17,667 --> 00:04:18,947
You know what, I would like that.
119
00:04:18,968 --> 00:04:20,202
I would really like that,
120
00:04:20,269 --> 00:04:21,470
but I promised Julie I'd come home
121
00:04:21,537 --> 00:04:22,385
right after the taping tonight.
122
00:04:22,410 --> 00:04:24,116
We're leaving first thing
in the morning for Europe.
123
00:04:24,148 --> 00:04:26,182
Oh, right, right, right.
Yeah, I forgot about that.
124
00:04:26,250 --> 00:04:27,484
Yeah, she really wants to get away.
125
00:04:27,551 --> 00:04:29,483
Totally.
126
00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:32,717
Hey, Billy.
127
00:04:34,687 --> 00:04:37,904
You're not still... You know...
128
00:04:37,929 --> 00:04:38,794
No, I don't.
129
00:04:39,170 --> 00:04:40,963
You're not still mad at me, are you?
130
00:04:41,389 --> 00:04:43,318
Yeah, 'cause you know
what, I would hate if...
131
00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:45,663
Josh, we're good.
132
00:04:46,479 --> 00:04:47,202
Okay?
133
00:04:50,651 --> 00:04:51,545
Okay.
134
00:04:54,858 --> 00:04:56,427
- Beautiful day.
- Beautiful day.
135
00:04:56,452 --> 00:04:57,452
Same as every other day.
136
00:04:57,453 --> 00:04:58,620
Speaking of beautiful.
137
00:04:58,687 --> 00:05:00,922
Ooh, check out the tits on this one.
138
00:05:00,990 --> 00:05:03,191
Whoa. Whoa.
139
00:05:03,259 --> 00:05:06,094
Available. Available.
140
00:05:06,161 --> 00:05:08,329
(Billy) We're casting here. We're casting.
141
00:05:08,397 --> 00:05:10,723
Hey, you got anything lined up after this?
142
00:05:11,735 --> 00:05:15,395
Oh, yeah, the cue card
industry's just exploding.
143
00:05:16,405 --> 00:05:18,706
So what are you in here for anyway, huh?
144
00:05:18,774 --> 00:05:20,942
Me? I took a bullet for the Pope.
145
00:05:21,010 --> 00:05:22,577
- No shit?
- Accidentally.
146
00:05:22,645 --> 00:05:26,398
- Oh, well.
- What about you?
147
00:05:26,423 --> 00:05:28,976
- Yeah, I cured cancer.
- Really?
148
00:05:29,001 --> 00:05:31,268
Yeah, I was trying to make meth.
149
00:05:37,217 --> 00:05:38,281
Denis.
150
00:05:41,453 --> 00:05:43,064
You know, I have to tell you, Kristen.
151
00:05:43,132 --> 00:05:44,432
Yeah?
152
00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:46,367
As fraught as this
process has sometimes been,
153
00:05:46,435 --> 00:05:47,643
end of the day,
154
00:05:48,237 --> 00:05:51,315
you guys put together one
heck of a season of television.
155
00:05:53,342 --> 00:05:55,386
Thank you. Thank you.
156
00:05:55,411 --> 00:05:56,911
That means so much.
157
00:05:56,979 --> 00:05:58,079
So much, Denis. Wow.
158
00:05:58,147 --> 00:06:00,581
Well, I know this has been kind
159
00:06:00,649 --> 00:06:03,418
of a combat-pay situation
for you at times.
160
00:06:03,485 --> 00:06:05,848
No, no. It was fun.
161
00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:10,391
Listen, I haven't told
anybody else this yet,
162
00:06:10,459 --> 00:06:12,894
but I'm gonna premiere
you guys in the fall.
163
00:06:12,961 --> 00:06:14,591
You're gonna be on
right after Louie.
164
00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:17,524
Don't tell Billy and Josh.
165
00:06:17,549 --> 00:06:19,016
I'd like to do it.
166
00:06:19,041 --> 00:06:22,043
My own people don't even know yet.
167
00:06:22,338 --> 00:06:23,738
Yeah.
168
00:06:28,392 --> 00:06:31,546
Thank you. Thank you.
169
00:06:31,613 --> 00:06:33,114
Wow. Wow.
170
00:06:33,182 --> 00:06:35,850
Do you know a place I can go
and make a private phone call?
171
00:06:35,918 --> 00:06:37,452
Yeah, you can use my office.
172
00:06:37,519 --> 00:06:39,120
Great.
173
00:06:53,488 --> 00:06:55,407
Ah, heroin in heaven.
174
00:06:55,432 --> 00:06:56,987
Does it get any better than this?
175
00:06:57,027 --> 00:06:58,394
Oh, no. Jesus Christ.
176
00:06:58,462 --> 00:07:00,997
Hey, guys, come on.
177
00:07:01,064 --> 00:07:02,265
What are you gonna do, kick us out?
178
00:07:02,332 --> 00:07:03,699
Yeah, yeah. Loophole.
179
00:07:03,767 --> 00:07:05,001
- No take-backs, huh?
- Yeah.
180
00:07:05,068 --> 00:07:06,435
We'll see about that.
181
00:07:06,503 --> 00:07:07,937
Yeah, I'm gonna go talk to the big guy.
182
00:07:08,005 --> 00:07:09,372
Oh, yeah, talk to your father.
183
00:07:09,439 --> 00:07:11,073
- Go talk to your father.
- Yeah, I will.
184
00:07:11,141 --> 00:07:14,354
My wings are shaking. My wings are shaking.
185
00:07:14,564 --> 00:07:16,995
Why are you so happy?
186
00:07:19,116 --> 00:07:20,716
Can you keep a secret?
187
00:07:20,784 --> 00:07:22,385
- Yeah.
- I mean, seriously.
188
00:07:22,452 --> 00:07:25,421
You cannot say anything to
Billy or Josh... nothing.
189
00:07:28,327 --> 00:07:32,804
Holy shit. Really?
190
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:35,665
And you should be so
proud of yourself, Mitch.
191
00:07:35,732 --> 00:07:38,034
You have worked awfully hard this year.
192
00:07:38,101 --> 00:07:40,194
You really have.
193
00:07:43,674 --> 00:07:45,441
All right.
194
00:07:58,288 --> 00:08:00,890
(Josh) He's also... you know,
he's above everybody, that guy.
195
00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:03,626
Hey, can I talk to you for a second?
196
00:08:03,694 --> 00:08:05,461
- Sure.
- So listen.
197
00:08:05,529 --> 00:08:09,908
So, all season, I've wanted to...
198
00:08:09,933 --> 00:08:11,822
Make out with me.
199
00:08:13,634 --> 00:08:16,272
You could tell that?
200
00:08:16,340 --> 00:08:18,474
It's kind of obvious, Mitch.
201
00:08:18,542 --> 00:08:20,496
Jeez.
202
00:08:21,152 --> 00:08:22,730
It's fine. I don't care.
203
00:08:24,074 --> 00:08:25,548
Really?
204
00:08:26,128 --> 00:08:29,018
What, you don't care that I want to,
205
00:08:29,086 --> 00:08:31,687
or you don't care, like, we can?
206
00:08:31,755 --> 00:08:33,789
[scoffs]
207
00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:35,874
[jaunty piano music]
208
00:08:35,942 --> 00:08:37,776
(man) This week on
The Unknown Chaplin,
209
00:08:37,844 --> 00:08:40,379
an astounding discovery
of a lost negative
210
00:08:40,446 --> 00:08:42,486
found buried under the Chaplin estate.
211
00:08:42,548 --> 00:08:44,049
On set, Chaplin
212
00:08:44,117 --> 00:08:46,918
directs his crew on how
he wants the scene filmed.
213
00:08:46,986 --> 00:08:49,321
Charlie didn't want anyone to
see his experimental film,
214
00:08:49,389 --> 00:08:51,089
and now we see why.
215
00:08:51,157 --> 00:08:58,997
216
00:09:18,117 --> 00:09:20,986
Chaplin chooses Broadway
ingenue Alfred London
217
00:09:21,053 --> 00:09:22,421
to play his love interest,
218
00:09:22,488 --> 00:09:24,823
replacing his usual costar, Mack Swain,
219
00:09:24,891 --> 00:09:27,392
because Chaplin didn't feel
he was attractive enough.
220
00:09:27,460 --> 00:09:31,604
221
00:09:33,916 --> 00:09:37,572
In this never before seen film,
"A place to Rest my Cane",
222
00:09:37,857 --> 00:09:41,389
Chaplin pushed the
boundaries, perhaps too far.
223
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:49,651
This was take 57.
224
00:09:50,718 --> 00:09:53,291
He was film's first great genius.
225
00:09:53,713 --> 00:09:56,849
More to come on The Unknown Chaplin.
226
00:09:59,052 --> 00:10:00,552
You're really liking that one, huh?
227
00:10:00,620 --> 00:10:01,705
- Yeah, well, that's a good one.
- Great sketch.
228
00:10:01,730 --> 00:10:02,797
Good, good, good.
229
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:04,430
- Question.
- Yes, sir.
230
00:10:04,455 --> 00:10:06,077
I know you and I are
good because a minute ago,
231
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,915
you said, "We're good,"
232
00:10:08,940 --> 00:10:10,173
and I lack the ability
233
00:10:10,241 --> 00:10:11,808
to recognize people's vocal patterns.
234
00:10:11,876 --> 00:10:13,643
- Or to imitate them.
- Right.
235
00:10:13,711 --> 00:10:15,611
But what about the show?
236
00:10:16,218 --> 00:10:19,044
- You think it was any good?
- Honestly?
237
00:10:19,069 --> 00:10:20,617
Yeah.
238
00:10:20,685 --> 00:10:22,786
It's really good. We did good.
239
00:10:22,853 --> 00:10:24,554
- We did really good work here.
- We did, right?
240
00:10:24,622 --> 00:10:26,256
Yeah, no, I'm proud of what we did.
241
00:10:26,324 --> 00:10:28,258
Hey, listen, once it goes
out there, you never know.
242
00:10:28,326 --> 00:10:30,160
Well, when they put it
on on Saturday at 2:00 AM,
243
00:10:30,228 --> 00:10:31,895
I'm sure people are just gonna eat it up.
244
00:10:31,963 --> 00:10:33,422
Yeah, but listen, the cleaning
crew that comes in here
245
00:10:33,447 --> 00:10:35,105
late at night, they'll love it.
246
00:10:35,130 --> 00:10:36,625
Yeah, I trust them. I trust them.
247
00:10:36,650 --> 00:10:38,489
- I do too.
- Down in two, guys.
248
00:10:38,514 --> 00:10:40,164
Two, Kay. Thanks, man.
249
00:10:40,735 --> 00:10:44,571
I got to say, I could use a hit.
250
00:10:44,639 --> 00:10:47,474
You know what? You'll be fine.
251
00:10:47,542 --> 00:10:50,144
Whatever happens with
the show, you'll be fine.
252
00:10:50,211 --> 00:10:51,645
I don't know.
253
00:10:51,713 --> 00:10:53,513
You remember that Scorsese
movie I didn't get?
254
00:10:53,548 --> 00:10:54,218
Yeah.
255
00:10:54,243 --> 00:10:55,796
It turns out I still didn't get it.
256
00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:59,687
Don't worry about what's next.
257
00:11:00,085 --> 00:11:01,488
There'll always be something for you.
258
00:11:01,556 --> 00:11:02,656
You're too good.
259
00:11:02,724 --> 00:11:05,382
So, you know, just enjoy this.
260
00:11:06,695 --> 00:11:09,296
(Billy) All right, Son, any last words?
261
00:11:09,364 --> 00:11:10,798
I can't believe I'm gonna die.
262
00:11:10,865 --> 00:11:12,266
Okay, bye.
263
00:11:12,334 --> 00:11:13,780
No, those weren't the last words!
264
00:11:14,803 --> 00:11:16,270
Oh, I didn't know.
265
00:11:16,338 --> 00:11:17,905
- Was that them?
- Definitely not.
266
00:11:17,973 --> 00:11:19,406
No, not what I'm saying right now.
267
00:11:19,474 --> 00:11:21,241
Neither is that! Stop!
268
00:11:21,309 --> 00:11:23,510
Nothing that's coming out of
my mouth right now is the word.
269
00:11:23,578 --> 00:11:26,680
I can't tell what are the words.
270
00:11:26,748 --> 00:11:30,417
(Josh) Right before I say the last words...
271
00:11:30,485 --> 00:11:32,805
I can't believe this is
actually happening right now.
272
00:11:32,854 --> 00:11:34,555
Stop talking. I'm dead serious.
273
00:11:34,622 --> 00:11:35,923
Stop.
274
00:11:35,991 --> 00:11:37,951
[electricity
buzzing] - Good-bye.
275
00:11:43,399 --> 00:11:45,765
- How much time do we have?
- 4 1/2 minutes.
276
00:11:45,790 --> 00:11:47,690
Yeah? Okay. Come here a second.
277
00:11:47,758 --> 00:11:51,040
I just want to say something to you.
278
00:11:51,595 --> 00:11:55,732
Josh, everybody worries about what's next.
279
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:57,258
You think I don't worry?
280
00:11:58,235 --> 00:12:00,136
Josh, I worry all the time.
281
00:12:00,204 --> 00:12:03,106
I love what I do, and I want
a chance to do more of it.
282
00:12:03,174 --> 00:12:04,707
Billy, you are Billy Crystal.
283
00:12:04,775 --> 00:12:06,176
Most people, if they'd accomplished
284
00:12:06,243 --> 00:12:07,577
what you've accomplished,
285
00:12:07,645 --> 00:12:09,399
would feel pretty damn
good about themselves.
286
00:12:09,914 --> 00:12:11,281
All right.
287
00:12:11,348 --> 00:12:13,049
- Let me ask you this.
- Yeah.
288
00:12:13,117 --> 00:12:15,018
Say I come to you when you
were in college, all right?
289
00:12:15,086 --> 00:12:16,805
So this is, like, a time travel scenario?
290
00:12:17,421 --> 00:12:18,855
Yes, it's a time travel scenario.
291
00:12:18,923 --> 00:12:20,490
I have a time machine.
292
00:12:20,558 --> 00:12:22,525
You're Billy Crystal, and
you have a time machine?
293
00:12:22,593 --> 00:12:23,827
Yes, and I come to you...
294
00:12:23,852 --> 00:12:25,178
Did you build it yourself?
295
00:12:25,429 --> 00:12:27,197
I'm an actor, Josh. I bought one.
296
00:12:27,264 --> 00:12:29,132
- How much is it?
- I'm trying to be nice.
297
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,000
- Would you just let me be nice?
- I'm Sorry. I'm sorry, okay.
298
00:12:31,068 --> 00:12:32,535
I'm just trying to figure things out.
299
00:12:32,603 --> 00:12:34,070
So I walk into College Josh's dorm.
300
00:12:34,138 --> 00:12:35,839
- Okay.
- And I see College Josh.
301
00:12:35,906 --> 00:12:38,441
And I say to him, "That's disgusting.
302
00:12:38,509 --> 00:12:39,943
Put your pants on. What are you doing?"
303
00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:41,544
Oh, sorry, sorry, Future Billy Crystal.
304
00:12:41,612 --> 00:12:42,612
I was just whacking off.
305
00:12:42,613 --> 00:12:43,885
Okay.
306
00:12:43,910 --> 00:12:46,779
And you're what, 19, 20 years old, right?
307
00:12:47,118 --> 00:12:50,153
And I tell you that
someday you'd star in one
308
00:12:50,221 --> 00:12:52,088
of the biggest musicals
in Broadway history.
309
00:12:52,156 --> 00:12:54,057
You'd star in one of the
biggest animated movies
310
00:12:54,125 --> 00:12:57,360
in Disney history, and not to be that guy,
311
00:12:57,428 --> 00:13:00,063
but you'd also star in a
television show with me.
312
00:13:00,131 --> 00:13:03,020
What would College Josh say
if I told him all of that?
313
00:13:04,235 --> 00:13:08,621
I would say, "That is
beyond my wildest dreams."
314
00:13:08,977 --> 00:13:09,824
Right.
315
00:13:10,512 --> 00:13:12,280
And you've accomplished
all of that already.
316
00:13:12,347 --> 00:13:17,051
And you're what, 33 years
old, you little shit, huh?
317
00:13:17,119 --> 00:13:19,186
You know what I'm saying? So
what are you gonna do, Josh?
318
00:13:19,254 --> 00:13:20,354
Are you gonna retire now?
319
00:13:20,422 --> 00:13:21,756
Pack it in? You're all done?
320
00:13:21,823 --> 00:13:23,357
Sit on the beach and sip cocktails all day?
321
00:13:23,425 --> 00:13:26,360
No, no, I don't think so.
322
00:13:26,428 --> 00:13:29,703
So what makes you think
that ever changes, ever?
323
00:13:35,103 --> 00:13:37,672
Hey, I got something for you.
324
00:13:37,739 --> 00:13:39,407
Call it an early wrap gift,
325
00:13:39,474 --> 00:13:41,566
since you're leaving
tomorrow and... come here.
326
00:13:45,163 --> 00:13:47,003
Hey, can you keep a secret?
327
00:13:51,286 --> 00:13:52,887
(Josh) Laurel and Hardy cufflinks.
328
00:13:52,955 --> 00:13:54,077
Oh, wow.
329
00:13:54,246 --> 00:13:56,647
They were made in the '40s.
They're completely authentic.
330
00:13:57,426 --> 00:13:58,569
That's incredible.
331
00:13:58,594 --> 00:14:01,295
After we went up the music
box stairs on your birthday,
332
00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:03,588
I started to watch all their stuff.
333
00:14:03,914 --> 00:14:07,084
Sons of the Desert, Way Out West.
334
00:14:08,337 --> 00:14:11,906
Anyway, I figure they're
a pretty great comedy team,
335
00:14:11,974 --> 00:14:17,878
and you and I could be a
pretty great comedy team.
336
00:14:22,551 --> 00:14:24,202
We certainly can.
337
00:14:25,430 --> 00:14:26,763
(man) Hey, guys, we need you.
338
00:14:26,855 --> 00:14:28,289
Yeah, thanks.
339
00:14:28,357 --> 00:14:31,192
Josh, it's...
340
00:14:36,990 --> 00:14:38,060
Thank you.
341
00:14:47,568 --> 00:14:48,850
Hey. Denis.
342
00:14:50,126 --> 00:14:52,138
Hey, Denis?
343
00:14:54,081 --> 00:14:55,081
Denis?
344
00:14:58,100 --> 00:15:00,380
[coughing]
345
00:15:00,405 --> 00:15:01,545
It should've been me.
346
00:15:01,570 --> 00:15:04,739
Don't you say that.
Don't you ever say that.
347
00:15:05,276 --> 00:15:07,676
You just got to go on
living for the two of us.
348
00:15:07,679 --> 00:15:09,592
You saved my life.
349
00:15:09,649 --> 00:15:12,251
You would've done the
same for me, buddy boy.
350
00:15:12,276 --> 00:15:17,037
Hey, just promise... promise
me you'll never forget.
351
00:15:17,076 --> 00:15:19,144
I won't remember anything else.
352
00:15:24,639 --> 00:15:25,929
- You still...
- Yeah.
353
00:15:25,997 --> 00:15:27,364
Yeah, well...
354
00:15:27,432 --> 00:15:29,700
Yeah, it hurts, but otherwise, I'm good.
355
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,048
- I'm gonna stay here.
- Yeah, that would be good.
356
00:15:36,115 --> 00:15:37,358
That would be great.
357
00:15:38,284 --> 00:15:40,152
I found him like that.
358
00:15:40,220 --> 00:15:42,087
It's just... It's so terrible.
359
00:15:42,155 --> 00:15:44,207
It's just so terrible.
360
00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:47,292
He was a visionary.
361
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:50,529
He was a wonderful man.
362
00:15:50,597 --> 00:15:53,534
It was just an hour ago.
363
00:15:53,559 --> 00:15:58,537
He was so happy, talking
about our new time slot.
364
00:15:58,605 --> 00:15:59,905
Time slot?
365
00:16:00,238 --> 00:16:04,209
He pulled me aside, and he told me
366
00:16:04,613 --> 00:16:05,877
that he was gonna premiere us in the fall
367
00:16:05,912 --> 00:16:08,214
after Louie.
368
00:16:10,650 --> 00:16:11,884
Wow. Wow.
369
00:16:11,951 --> 00:16:13,719
Wow.
370
00:16:13,786 --> 00:16:15,888
I got to say, even for Hollywood,
371
00:16:15,955 --> 00:16:17,356
that is a new low.
372
00:16:17,423 --> 00:16:18,991
No, I didn't... I'm not making that up.
373
00:16:19,058 --> 00:16:21,793
I mean, the man's body
is not even cold yet.
374
00:16:21,861 --> 00:16:24,663
Are you kidding me? I'm the Senior VP.
375
00:16:24,731 --> 00:16:26,632
And I'm not in there,
talking about how I could have
376
00:16:26,699 --> 00:16:28,267
his job tomorrow.
377
00:16:28,334 --> 00:16:30,068
I didn't mean it that
way. That's what he said.
378
00:16:30,136 --> 00:16:32,004
He was talking to me about the time slot.
379
00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:33,714
He was, I swear.
380
00:16:33,774 --> 00:16:35,274
- He just told me.
- How dare you.
381
00:16:35,342 --> 00:16:38,291
How dare you. Shame on you.
382
00:16:38,316 --> 00:16:41,013
He told it to me, I swear.
383
00:16:41,081 --> 00:16:43,658
Tonight, just, like, an hour ago.
384
00:16:44,451 --> 00:16:48,253
We're gonna premiere in the
fall right after Louie.
385
00:16:52,559 --> 00:16:53,859
- Are you still...
- Yeah.
386
00:16:53,927 --> 00:16:56,429
I just have something under my back.
387
00:16:56,496 --> 00:16:58,930
- I really...
- One last hug, buddy?
388
00:16:59,333 --> 00:17:01,367
- I would love that.
- All right.
389
00:17:01,435 --> 00:17:02,435
[flesh squishes]
390
00:17:02,436 --> 00:17:04,904
[groans]
391
00:17:04,972 --> 00:17:06,639
Did you just stab me?
392
00:17:06,707 --> 00:17:08,274
No, what are you, crazy? That was there.
393
00:17:08,342 --> 00:17:09,842
- You're delirious.
- That was not there.
394
00:17:09,910 --> 00:17:11,230
- That was there.
- I'm not ready.
395
00:17:11,278 --> 00:17:12,311
- It's okay.
- I'm not...
396
00:17:12,379 --> 00:17:14,513
- Here, let me just...
- Why?
397
00:17:14,581 --> 00:17:17,450
- Stop.
- No, it's fine.
398
00:17:17,517 --> 00:17:19,118
You're all right.
399
00:17:19,186 --> 00:17:21,020
Another hug?
400
00:17:21,088 --> 00:17:22,688
[groans]
401
00:17:22,756 --> 00:17:25,257
- Son of a bitch.
- That was there too.
402
00:17:25,325 --> 00:17:29,061
Well, shit. Bye, I guess.
403
00:17:29,129 --> 00:17:30,515
See you, buddy.
404
00:17:31,298 --> 00:17:32,351
Man.
405
00:17:33,834 --> 00:17:34,757
I just...
406
00:17:40,807 --> 00:17:42,908
Charlie Company.
407
00:17:42,976 --> 00:17:44,410
Hey, it's Sergeant Dempsey.
408
00:17:44,478 --> 00:17:46,846
I had a reservation for two at 7:30.
409
00:17:46,913 --> 00:17:50,816
Make that a single.
410
00:17:50,884 --> 00:17:53,438
- Hey.
- Hi.
411
00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:55,783
Can I ask you a weird question?
412
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:58,442
If history's any guide, yes.
413
00:17:58,725 --> 00:18:02,037
Once this is all over,
can I still text you?
414
00:18:02,062 --> 00:18:03,396
- Text me?
- Yeah.
415
00:18:03,463 --> 00:18:05,231
Like, can I send you a
text, out of the blue,
416
00:18:05,298 --> 00:18:06,832
on any given occasion?
417
00:18:06,900 --> 00:18:08,467
Yes, you can text me.
418
00:18:08,535 --> 00:18:10,569
- And you'll text me back?
- I will text you back.
419
00:18:10,637 --> 00:18:11,879
Cool.
420
00:18:12,881 --> 00:18:16,284
I still remember the first
time I ever got a text from you.
421
00:18:16,476 --> 00:18:18,044
It was cool.
422
00:18:18,111 --> 00:18:21,223
It was almost like we were friends.
423
00:18:21,702 --> 00:18:23,074
We are friends.
424
00:18:24,953 --> 00:18:29,176
'Cause for a second there,
I wasn't ... I wasn't so sure.
425
00:18:31,958 --> 00:18:33,726
Julie said something to me the other night
426
00:18:33,794 --> 00:18:35,061
that I thought was interesting.
427
00:18:35,128 --> 00:18:36,429
She said that I was starting to feel
428
00:18:36,496 --> 00:18:38,717
like I was a father figure to you.
429
00:18:39,232 --> 00:18:40,599
Now, I don't know if she's right or not,
430
00:18:40,667 --> 00:18:42,686
but she usually is.
431
00:18:44,004 --> 00:18:46,045
I just asked if I could text you.
432
00:18:46,907 --> 00:18:49,027
You're a cock, you know
that? You're an absolute cock.
433
00:18:49,042 --> 00:18:49,909
- I know.
- You are.
434
00:18:49,976 --> 00:18:51,216
[chuckles]
435
00:18:51,244 --> 00:18:53,381
What the hell happened to you?
436
00:18:54,081 --> 00:18:58,350
I made out with Mitch. It
was weird, but whatever.
437
00:18:58,418 --> 00:19:00,586
Some good news about the time slot, yeah?
438
00:19:00,654 --> 00:19:01,687
Time slot?
439
00:19:01,755 --> 00:19:03,355
I guess the dude with the goatee
440
00:19:03,423 --> 00:19:05,458
told Kristen he's putting
us on after Louie.
441
00:19:05,525 --> 00:19:07,159
That's good, right?
442
00:19:07,227 --> 00:19:09,995
(man) Guys, 30 seconds.
443
00:19:10,063 --> 00:19:11,530
Oh, my God.
444
00:19:11,598 --> 00:19:14,066
- Oh, my God.
- After Louie.
445
00:19:14,134 --> 00:19:15,935
- Holy shit.
- This is unbelievable.
446
00:19:16,002 --> 00:19:18,337
It's almost like the universe
wanted us to make things
447
00:19:18,405 --> 00:19:19,805
right with each other.
448
00:19:19,873 --> 00:19:21,874
(both) And now it's rewarding us.
449
00:19:21,942 --> 00:19:24,182
- That's what I was thinking.
- The same thing.
450
00:19:26,758 --> 00:19:31,848
(announcer) Ladies and gentlemen,
Billy Crystal and Josh Gad.
451
00:19:31,873 --> 00:19:33,786
- You ready?
- Let's do this.
452
00:19:33,854 --> 00:19:36,755
[cheers and applause]
453
00:19:47,434 --> 00:19:50,769
And if you ever catch
a midnight rambler
454
00:19:50,837 --> 00:19:54,640
I'll steal your mistress
from under your nose
455
00:19:54,708 --> 00:19:58,344
I'll go easy with
your cold-fanged anger
456
00:19:58,411 --> 00:20:01,480
I'll stick my knife right
down your throat, baby
457
00:20:01,548 --> 00:20:03,382
And it hurts
458
00:20:03,406 --> 00:20:10,069
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
- www.addic7ed.com -
459
00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:14,669
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