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1
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"Interior, hallway.
2
00:00:02,453 --> 00:00:04,702
Billy walks down the
hall with his daughter."
3
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"You got everything, sweetheart?
4
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Lunch? Snack? A jacket
in case it gets cold?"
5
00:00:08,064 --> 00:00:09,764
"Dad, calm down. I'll be fine."
6
00:00:09,849 --> 00:00:11,265
"Hey, you want your daughter's first day
7
00:00:11,351 --> 00:00:12,900
as a porn star to be perfect."
8
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[laughter]
9
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[laughing]
10
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I've decided to write more of the sketches.
11
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,512
Acting will always be my first love,
12
00:00:22,598 --> 00:00:25,734
but... it's limiting.
13
00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:27,453
I feel like I have more to say
14
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than just somebody else's words
15
00:00:30,039 --> 00:00:32,039
that go into my mouth
16
00:00:32,063 --> 00:00:34,109
and then come out...
17
00:00:35,671 --> 00:00:36,787
of my mouth.
18
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"Hey, darlin'.
19
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I'm Dirk. I'll be your co-star.
20
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Don't worry about the cold sores.
21
00:00:42,201 --> 00:00:43,400
They're just herpes."
22
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[laughter]
23
00:00:48,324 --> 00:00:50,324
You want to kill Josh's sketch?
24
00:00:50,376 --> 00:00:52,542
I know it got really big laughs. It did.
25
00:00:52,628 --> 00:00:54,244
I just think that we fall
back on the blue stuff
26
00:00:54,330 --> 00:00:55,330
way too often.
27
00:00:55,331 --> 00:00:56,413
Yeah, you know,
28
00:00:56,498 --> 00:00:59,049
it does get really sad sometimes.
29
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Not sad.
30
00:01:01,003 --> 00:01:02,563
You never heard the term "working blue"?
31
00:01:02,588 --> 00:01:04,471
It's the dirty stuff.
32
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It's the dick, it's the
herpes, and all of that schmutz.
33
00:01:06,592 --> 00:01:08,675
It's the constant reference to balls.
34
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There are a lot of references to balls.
35
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We do work the balls a lot.
36
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- Exactly.
- Cut the balls.
37
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- Ooh.
- Sorry.
38
00:01:15,768 --> 00:01:17,150
And one other thing.
39
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If we're gonna do a porno sketch,
40
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which I'm open to,
41
00:01:20,489 --> 00:01:21,772
why am I the dad?
42
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I'm always the dad.
43
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I could be a porno star.
44
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I-I could easily see that.
45
00:01:28,247 --> 00:01:30,914
"Hello, I'm Alex, and I'm
here to deliver your pizza.
46
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,532
Oh, hello, girls."
47
00:01:32,618 --> 00:01:34,026
- [chuckles]
- Do you know what I'm saying?
48
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- That's super hot.
- Just as something different.
49
00:01:35,704 --> 00:01:37,254
- Thanks.
- Yeah, I'd buy that.
50
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[Billy clears throat]
51
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Believe me, the last thing I want to do
52
00:01:42,928 --> 00:01:45,295
is walk into Josh's dressing room...
53
00:01:45,381 --> 00:01:46,680
Why does his dressing room
54
00:01:46,715 --> 00:01:48,265
always smell like ham, by the way?
55
00:01:48,350 --> 00:01:49,830
I haven't smelled it. I will smell it.
56
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Smell it when you get the chance.
57
00:01:51,387 --> 00:01:53,722
I mean, I can't walk
in there and go, "Josh,
58
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I know after the table read
I said that I loved it, but"...
59
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You said you loved it?
60
00:01:57,443 --> 00:01:58,608
Well, yeah.
61
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Why... why would you say that?
62
00:02:00,312 --> 00:02:02,446
Kristen, what's the most important thing
63
00:02:02,531 --> 00:02:04,398
we have going for us?
64
00:02:04,450 --> 00:02:05,379
God?
65
00:02:06,869 --> 00:02:09,569
On the show. On the show.
66
00:02:09,621 --> 00:02:12,572
You know, what's the one thing
that we can't afford to lose?
67
00:02:12,658 --> 00:02:13,775
Our lease.
68
00:02:15,244 --> 00:02:16,543
Chemistry.
69
00:02:16,578 --> 00:02:18,578
The chemistry between Josh and I.
70
00:02:18,664 --> 00:02:20,080
Chemistry, of course.
71
00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:21,581
Of course. [scoffs] "God."
72
00:02:21,667 --> 00:02:23,884
So now do you see the bind I am in?
73
00:02:23,919 --> 00:02:27,304
If I kill the sketch, Josh will resent me.
74
00:02:27,389 --> 00:02:30,497
And if Josh resents me,
it's bad for the show.
75
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Maybe...
76
00:02:35,764 --> 00:02:37,099
I kill the sketch?
77
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Wow.
78
00:02:40,269 --> 00:02:41,902
That is an amazing idea.
79
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I never would've thought of that.
80
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That way, there are no fingerprints.
81
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No fingerprints. It's the perfect crime
82
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- It's not a crime
- No.
83
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And you don't even have to say it
came from you.
84
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You could say it came from the network.
85
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Ooh, blame it on them. That is good.
86
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Yeah.
87
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"Josh, this isn't even my call,
88
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and it definitely didn't come from Billy."
89
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Leave my name out of it.
90
00:03:00,702 --> 00:03:01,788
Don't even mention my name.
91
00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:03,147
Good note. Yeah.
92
00:03:04,259 --> 00:03:05,299
- I got this.
- You got it?
93
00:03:05,377 --> 00:03:06,626
I'm gonna kill.
94
00:03:08,514 --> 00:03:11,098
All right. Fourth of July.
95
00:03:11,133 --> 00:03:12,133
You got big plans?
96
00:03:12,184 --> 00:03:13,767
Well, we usually...
97
00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:15,302
Well, my dad's birthday is on the 4th.
98
00:03:15,387 --> 00:03:16,219
- Oh, that's nice.
- Yeah.
99
00:03:16,305 --> 00:03:18,889
And... and ever since he...
100
00:03:18,974 --> 00:03:20,891
Did I tell you my dad was decapitated
101
00:03:20,976 --> 00:03:22,363
in a boating accident?
102
00:03:23,231 --> 00:03:24,728
No.
103
00:03:24,813 --> 00:03:25,979
I'm sorry. I thought I did.
104
00:03:26,031 --> 00:03:28,115
Anyway, we usually... My mom and I...
105
00:03:28,150 --> 00:03:29,630
We usually go out and visit his grave.
106
00:03:29,651 --> 00:03:31,785
They never found his
head, but the rest of him
107
00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:33,236
is out... just out by Pomona.
108
00:03:33,322 --> 00:03:34,738
Uh-huh.
109
00:03:34,823 --> 00:03:36,540
The accident actually
happened on the 4th, so...
110
00:03:36,625 --> 00:03:37,785
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah, it's crazy.
111
00:03:37,793 --> 00:03:38,825
Wow.
112
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What about you?
113
00:03:43,132 --> 00:03:45,082
What are you... What plans have you got?
114
00:03:45,167 --> 00:03:46,883
Uh, Rob Reiner does a thing.
115
00:03:46,969 --> 00:03:47,969
Oh, that sounds fun.
116
00:03:48,003 --> 00:03:49,803
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
117
00:03:52,007 --> 00:03:55,661
So much of it is simply
about structure, you guys.
118
00:03:56,345 --> 00:03:58,011
The great writers... What do they do?
119
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Huh? What do they do? Two things.
120
00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:01,565
They create expectations.
121
00:04:01,650 --> 00:04:02,849
[clicking tongue]
122
00:04:02,901 --> 00:04:05,102
They subvert expectations.
123
00:04:05,187 --> 00:04:07,687
Is somebody writing this down?
124
00:04:07,739 --> 00:04:10,273
Guys, I've got some bad news
125
00:04:10,359 --> 00:04:12,242
from the network.
126
00:04:12,327 --> 00:04:14,875
They want to kill the porno sketch.
127
00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:16,329
Wait, what?
128
00:04:16,365 --> 00:04:18,999
Well, that subverted my expectations.
129
00:04:19,034 --> 00:04:21,868
They... they think that
it's... It's too dirty.
130
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:23,133
(Josh) Too what?
131
00:04:23,158 --> 00:04:25,539
Kristen, it's FX.
132
00:04:25,591 --> 00:04:28,341
Do you watch their horror story show?
133
00:04:28,377 --> 00:04:31,344
Two chicks use a snake
as a double-headed dildo.
134
00:04:31,380 --> 00:04:32,963
Or something. I don't watch it.
135
00:04:33,048 --> 00:04:34,764
It's just... That's what the posters
136
00:04:34,850 --> 00:04:36,383
make it seem like happened.
137
00:04:36,468 --> 00:04:37,566
I'll be sure to watch that.
138
00:04:37,591 --> 00:04:39,052
No, we have to fight this.
139
00:04:39,104 --> 00:04:40,720
Not for me. Not because I wrote it.
140
00:04:40,772 --> 00:04:42,639
- For Billy.
- Billy? Why Billy?
141
00:04:42,724 --> 00:04:45,692
Because Billy likes the sketch a lot, okay?
142
00:04:45,727 --> 00:04:47,194
- I got to go find him.
- No, no, no, hey.
143
00:04:47,229 --> 00:04:48,361
Now, Billy is not involved in this.
144
00:04:48,397 --> 00:04:49,479
Billy is involved with this, Kristen.
145
00:04:49,565 --> 00:04:50,697
Do you know what he said to me?
146
00:04:50,732 --> 00:04:52,566
He said, "Josh, that is perhaps
147
00:04:52,618 --> 00:04:55,202
my favorite sketch that's ever
been written on this show."
148
00:04:55,237 --> 00:04:57,070
- He did?
- Yes, that's what... yes.
149
00:04:57,122 --> 00:04:58,572
That's what he said. Okay?
150
00:04:58,657 --> 00:05:01,666
So if FX gets a call
from Billy Crystal saying,
151
00:05:01,691 --> 00:05:03,426
[as Billy] "You can't kill that sketch...
152
00:05:03,449 --> 00:05:07,291
my favorite sketch that's ever
been written on this show ever."
153
00:05:07,316 --> 00:05:10,060
They will back down like a
bunch of bitches.
154
00:05:10,085 --> 00:05:12,502
Not that FX is a bunch of bitches.
155
00:05:12,588 --> 00:05:13,588
No, no.
156
00:05:13,589 --> 00:05:15,505
No, FX is... they're terrific.
157
00:05:15,591 --> 00:05:17,591
You want me to call the network.
158
00:05:17,676 --> 00:05:19,059
- Yeah.
- [mouthing words]
159
00:05:19,094 --> 00:05:21,261
Yeah, I mean, we should fight this, right?
160
00:05:21,313 --> 00:05:22,929
Yeah. Yeah, of course we should.
161
00:05:23,015 --> 00:05:24,481
We have to fight it.
162
00:05:24,566 --> 00:05:25,515
Man, how could they kill that sketch?
163
00:05:25,601 --> 00:05:26,766
That sketch was so funny.
164
00:05:26,818 --> 00:05:27,934
It is. So funny.
165
00:05:28,020 --> 00:05:29,102
- So funny.
- It's so funny.
166
00:05:29,188 --> 00:05:30,298
So funny.
167
00:05:30,323 --> 00:05:31,540
I thought it was very funny too.
168
00:05:33,188 --> 00:05:34,274
Unbelievable.
169
00:05:34,359 --> 00:05:35,942
I know. It's completely unbelievable.
170
00:05:35,994 --> 00:05:38,154
You know, I'm so glad you
brought this to my attention.
171
00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:40,330
(Billy) I am going to call them
as soon as you leave this office.
172
00:05:40,415 --> 00:05:41,716
- I am so angry.
- Honestly?
173
00:05:41,741 --> 00:05:42,782
Oh, man, am I angry.
174
00:05:42,834 --> 00:05:44,284
The fact that you would do this for me,
175
00:05:44,336 --> 00:05:46,836
the fact that you would
get my back on this,
176
00:05:46,922 --> 00:05:47,922
honestly means the world.
177
00:05:47,923 --> 00:05:48,923
Let me make the call.
178
00:05:48,957 --> 00:05:50,123
Can I do this? Go ahead.
179
00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:52,175
- Let's let him do it.
- Yeah.
180
00:05:52,261 --> 00:05:54,211
Are you sure you don't want
me in here to get your back?
181
00:05:54,296 --> 00:05:55,898
No, 'cause I'm... When I'm steamed,
182
00:05:55,923 --> 00:05:57,097
nobody should see this
183
00:05:57,132 --> 00:05:58,932
'cause I turn into the
Incredible Jewish Hulk.
184
00:06:00,990 --> 00:06:04,241
Why are you creeping? In or out.
185
00:06:04,473 --> 00:06:05,473
[mouthing words]
186
00:06:07,476 --> 00:06:08,808
Pow.
187
00:06:12,643 --> 00:06:14,829
Yeah, really make the cold sores ooze.
188
00:06:14,854 --> 00:06:16,154
It's only funny if they ooze.
189
00:06:16,239 --> 00:06:17,999
- Josh.
- [snickers]
190
00:06:18,024 --> 00:06:19,323
You look so funny.
191
00:06:19,409 --> 00:06:20,992
Listen, little bit of a problem.
192
00:06:21,077 --> 00:06:22,777
You know how I get a lot of
requests for charity things.
193
00:06:22,862 --> 00:06:25,196
Yeah, 'cause you're... You're you.
194
00:06:25,281 --> 00:06:26,864
All right, I agreed to
something a while ago,
195
00:06:26,950 --> 00:06:28,699
and I just forgot about it.
196
00:06:28,785 --> 00:06:30,618
There's a kid who's
gonna be on the set today
197
00:06:30,670 --> 00:06:32,310
and the rest of the week to watch us work.
198
00:06:32,372 --> 00:06:33,838
- A kid?
- Yeah.
199
00:06:33,923 --> 00:06:35,289
He's like a Make-A-Wish
kid or something.
200
00:06:35,341 --> 00:06:37,125
What are you... Holy shit.
201
00:06:37,210 --> 00:06:38,626
Is that them?
202
00:06:38,678 --> 00:06:39,961
Why does he have gray hair?
203
00:06:40,046 --> 00:06:41,686
Does he have that Benjamin Button disease?
204
00:06:41,714 --> 00:06:43,047
I think it's a chemo wig.
205
00:06:43,133 --> 00:06:46,017
Billy and Josh, this is Adam.
206
00:06:46,102 --> 00:06:47,885
(both) Hey!
207
00:06:47,971 --> 00:06:48,970
- His mom, Stacy.
- Adam. Hi, Stacy.
208
00:06:49,055 --> 00:06:50,304
Hi. Nice to meet you.
209
00:06:50,356 --> 00:06:51,722
How are you? Hey, how you doing?
210
00:06:51,808 --> 00:06:53,775
[as Fernando] You look mahvelous.
211
00:06:53,798 --> 00:06:55,180
[Billy laughs]
212
00:06:55,205 --> 00:06:56,422
- He loves Fernando
- Oh!
213
00:06:56,447 --> 00:06:58,436
- He picked out the wig himself
- That's so good
214
00:06:58,461 --> 00:06:59,164
Wow
215
00:06:59,189 --> 00:07:00,615
- Yeah?
- Speak to you in private?
216
00:07:00,650 --> 00:07:01,727
Of course. Of course.
217
00:07:01,752 --> 00:07:03,758
Ah, we're gonna take a five-minute break.
218
00:07:03,820 --> 00:07:05,203
- We'll be right back.
- Okay.
219
00:07:05,288 --> 00:07:06,621
You and I are gonna have a lot of fun, pal.
220
00:07:06,656 --> 00:07:07,872
[as Fernando] That's crazy go nuts.
221
00:07:07,957 --> 00:07:09,740
[laughter]
- He knows it all.
222
00:07:09,826 --> 00:07:11,026
[as Fernando] See you, dahling.
223
00:07:11,077 --> 00:07:12,543
He does it over and over.
224
00:07:12,629 --> 00:07:13,995
We can't film this sketch in front of
225
00:07:14,047 --> 00:07:15,713
that sick, beautiful little chemo boy.
226
00:07:15,799 --> 00:07:17,279
- I mean, it's filthy.
- Yeah, I know.
227
00:07:17,300 --> 00:07:18,716
- All the dirty language?
- Ah.
228
00:07:18,802 --> 00:07:20,084
[whispering] All the porno jokes?
229
00:07:20,170 --> 00:07:21,969
I know, I know, I know.
Shit. Damn it. Shit.
230
00:07:22,005 --> 00:07:24,172
I mean, look, I love the
sketch, you love the sketch.
231
00:07:24,224 --> 00:07:25,556
- I love the sketch.
- I know you do.
232
00:07:25,642 --> 00:07:27,175
- Love the sketch.
- That much I know.
233
00:07:27,260 --> 00:07:29,679
But what are we doing here?
234
00:07:29,757 --> 00:07:32,680
We're really gonna sully the last 48 hours
235
00:07:32,765 --> 00:07:34,849
he has on earth or whatever it is?
236
00:07:34,934 --> 00:07:36,400
Oh, no, I know. I know. You're right.
237
00:07:36,486 --> 00:07:38,102
I wish there was
something that we could do.
238
00:07:38,188 --> 00:07:41,155
Damn it. 'Cause I love this sketch.
239
00:07:41,191 --> 00:07:42,690
[growls]
240
00:07:42,775 --> 00:07:43,908
Kill the sketch?
241
00:07:43,993 --> 00:07:45,109
You both want to kill the sketch?
242
00:07:45,195 --> 00:07:46,694
Shh, shh, shh. Don't say "kill."
243
00:07:46,746 --> 00:07:48,066
Don't say "kill," don't say "die,"
244
00:07:48,081 --> 00:07:49,413
don't say anything like that,
245
00:07:49,499 --> 00:07:52,331
because he's sitting right over there.
246
00:07:52,356 --> 00:07:54,118
Guys, now, you know me,
247
00:07:54,204 --> 00:07:58,456
I am never one to, you
know, sound the alarm bell,
248
00:07:58,541 --> 00:08:01,626
but the network is supposed to
see a full cut of this episode
249
00:08:01,711 --> 00:08:02,677
by the end of the week, so...
250
00:08:02,712 --> 00:08:04,295
So we will shoot something else.
251
00:08:04,380 --> 00:08:05,880
That's all. What was that sketch I liked?
252
00:08:05,932 --> 00:08:07,298
I'm Tom Hanks from Big,
253
00:08:07,383 --> 00:08:08,633
and Josh is the mermaid from Splash?
254
00:08:08,718 --> 00:08:10,238
- What was that called?
- "Big Splash."
255
00:08:10,303 --> 00:08:11,969
- Right, that was funny.
- Yeah, that was funny.
256
00:08:12,055 --> 00:08:13,221
Yeah, we could do that.
257
00:08:13,273 --> 00:08:14,689
That's a very wholesome sketch,
258
00:08:14,724 --> 00:08:15,890
a sketch that a kid could watch.
259
00:08:15,942 --> 00:08:17,692
Nay... should watch.
260
00:08:17,727 --> 00:08:19,393
We would need to build sets.
261
00:08:19,445 --> 00:08:21,195
We would need to make the costumes.
262
00:08:21,231 --> 00:08:22,897
I mean, the very earliest
that we could do this
263
00:08:22,982 --> 00:08:25,455
would be maybe midday tomorrow.
264
00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:27,618
Ooh. Tomorrow's Fourth of July.
265
00:08:27,704 --> 00:08:29,203
All right, I hate to
be the one to say this,
266
00:08:29,239 --> 00:08:30,404
but Josh is right.
267
00:08:30,456 --> 00:08:31,736
We cannot shoot this porno sketch
268
00:08:31,741 --> 00:08:33,074
in front of that little guy.
269
00:08:33,159 --> 00:08:34,876
So if it means working
of the Fourth of July...
270
00:08:34,911 --> 00:08:36,494
I'll do it. You know what?
271
00:08:36,579 --> 00:08:37,828
I was just gonna spend
the day writing tomorrow,
272
00:08:37,914 --> 00:08:38,880
but this is far more important.
273
00:08:38,915 --> 00:08:39,915
And I have the Rob thing.
274
00:08:39,916 --> 00:08:40,915
I hate to miss it, but I will.
275
00:08:40,967 --> 00:08:42,300
I mean, he grills these prawns.
276
00:08:42,385 --> 00:08:43,705
They're the size of a baby's arms.
277
00:08:43,753 --> 00:08:44,886
(Josh) Oh, my God. I love prawns.
278
00:08:44,921 --> 00:08:46,254
Everybody loves prawns.
279
00:08:46,339 --> 00:08:49,144
But, you know, you have
to make a sacrifice.
280
00:08:49,169 --> 00:08:51,976
(Mitch) I usually go back to
Indiana every year on the Fourth.
281
00:08:52,061 --> 00:08:53,644
My whole family gets together.
282
00:08:53,730 --> 00:08:55,980
There's this big picnic. It's pretty great.
283
00:08:56,065 --> 00:08:58,819
And then we head into
town for the fireworks.
284
00:08:58,844 --> 00:09:01,736
I just love the fireworks, but, um,
285
00:09:01,771 --> 00:09:03,738
this year, I knew I wouldn't
be able to get back home.
286
00:09:03,773 --> 00:09:05,273
I'm just... I'm so busy with work.
287
00:09:05,325 --> 00:09:08,526
So I flew everyone out to L.A.
288
00:09:08,611 --> 00:09:13,601
And now they are in my
apartment just hanging.
289
00:09:13,626 --> 00:09:15,810
Hey everybody, coming in
290
00:09:15,835 --> 00:09:16,576
- Oh.
291
00:09:16,601 --> 00:09:18,035
Gather around just for a second.
292
00:09:18,121 --> 00:09:20,037
We have a little something
we want to talk to you about.
293
00:09:20,123 --> 00:09:23,105
All right, so last night,
Josh and I were talking.
294
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:25,092
- Texting.
- Texting and talking.
295
00:09:25,128 --> 00:09:27,595
And we know it's a drag
to spend your holiday
296
00:09:27,630 --> 00:09:28,793
here in the office.
297
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,431
Although the overtime doesn't suck.
298
00:09:30,466 --> 00:09:31,799
- Am I right, guys?
- [chuckles]
299
00:09:31,884 --> 00:09:33,267
Don't be that guy.
300
00:09:33,303 --> 00:09:36,437
And we thought, let's make it fun.
301
00:09:36,472 --> 00:09:37,638
So...
302
00:09:37,690 --> 00:09:41,275
Impression contest!
303
00:09:41,311 --> 00:09:43,144
Impression contest.
304
00:09:43,229 --> 00:09:44,149
- Yep.
- Yeah.
305
00:09:44,174 --> 00:09:45,696
- It'll be hilarious.
- Oh, so much fun.
306
00:09:45,782 --> 00:09:46,782
You pick a famous person
307
00:09:46,816 --> 00:09:48,199
that you think you can imitate,
308
00:09:48,284 --> 00:09:50,585
but you have to be that person all day.
309
00:09:50,610 --> 00:09:51,786
The entire day.
310
00:09:51,821 --> 00:09:52,993
(Billy) And the winner gets a gift basket.
311
00:09:53,018 --> 00:09:55,122
Huge gift basket with summer sausages...
312
00:09:55,158 --> 00:09:56,490
- Cheeses.
- Cheeses.
313
00:09:56,576 --> 00:09:59,660
And the entire first
season of 1600 Penn.
314
00:09:59,712 --> 00:10:02,054
Wow. That's quite a value.
315
00:10:02,079 --> 00:10:03,831
We're gonna kick it off right now
316
00:10:03,883 --> 00:10:04,882
with our friend Adam who's visiting us.
317
00:10:04,968 --> 00:10:06,382
Adam, what do you got?
318
00:10:06,407 --> 00:10:08,886
[as Fernando] It is better to
look good than to feel good.
319
00:10:08,972 --> 00:10:10,092
- Wow.
- Ooh, Schwarzenegger.
320
00:10:10,139 --> 00:10:12,139
Wow. No, no.
321
00:10:12,175 --> 00:10:13,375
That is gonna be tough to beat.
322
00:10:13,393 --> 00:10:15,176
- [laughs]
- All right.
323
00:10:15,261 --> 00:10:16,644
[as Howard Cosell] Hello,
room service. This is Cosell.
324
00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:17,561
Once again, you've sent too much fish
325
00:10:17,647 --> 00:10:18,647
with the lox platter.
326
00:10:18,648 --> 00:10:20,064
What am I, Shamu?
327
00:10:20,149 --> 00:10:22,848
There's just too much fish right there.
328
00:10:23,569 --> 00:10:25,519
And Adam is still in the lead.
329
00:10:25,605 --> 00:10:26,854
Fair enough.
330
00:10:26,906 --> 00:10:28,155
So think on who you want to be,
331
00:10:28,191 --> 00:10:29,357
and we'll see you on the set.
332
00:10:29,442 --> 00:10:30,801
(Josh) See you guys out there.
333
00:10:31,861 --> 00:10:33,027
Nice shorts, Mitch.
334
00:10:33,079 --> 00:10:34,528
Oh, thanks.
335
00:10:34,614 --> 00:10:36,697
You know, I actually... I got them at CVS.
336
00:10:36,783 --> 00:10:38,282
I went in there for Q-tips
337
00:10:39,046 --> 00:10:40,710
and came out with a whole outfit.
338
00:10:41,037 --> 00:10:43,421
What about Susan Sarandon?
Has she been naked in anything?
339
00:10:43,873 --> 00:10:46,707
Um... yes.
340
00:10:46,759 --> 00:10:50,544
59 minutes into The
Hunger, she's naked.
341
00:10:50,596 --> 00:10:52,630
With Catherine Deneuve.
Directed by Tony Scott.
342
00:10:52,715 --> 00:10:54,715
Why do you know the time code?
343
00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:56,159
I like Susan Sarandon.
344
00:10:56,769 --> 00:10:59,136
Um, when you guys are done in here,
345
00:10:59,222 --> 00:11:00,554
they want you to get wired for sound.
346
00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:03,140
Okay, but I'm confused about something.
347
00:11:03,226 --> 00:11:06,151
Why did Esme tell us that we
had to get wired for sound?
348
00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:09,363
They just asked me to ask
you to get wired for sound.
349
00:11:09,399 --> 00:11:11,359
(Josh) Right, but what
would it sound like if, say,
350
00:11:11,367 --> 00:11:13,367
Taylor Swift came in and asked
us to get wired for sound?
351
00:11:13,403 --> 00:11:14,735
Mm-hmm.
352
00:11:14,787 --> 00:11:16,120
- Or Rihanna.
- Mm-hmm.
353
00:11:16,205 --> 00:11:18,239
Rihanna would never take this job.
354
00:11:18,324 --> 00:11:20,241
That's... that's not what I meant.
355
00:11:20,293 --> 00:11:21,876
What I... what I'm saying is,
have a little fun with this.
356
00:11:21,911 --> 00:11:23,327
Okay.
357
00:11:23,413 --> 00:11:24,591
We'll give you a little bit of a break.
358
00:11:24,616 --> 00:11:25,755
You don't have to do somebody famous.
359
00:11:25,779 --> 00:11:28,365
You could, you could impersonate somebody
from your own life.
360
00:11:28,390 --> 00:11:30,701
Yeah, it's 4th of July, let's have some fun
361
00:11:30,725 --> 00:11:32,920
Umm, okay fine...
362
00:11:32,945 --> 00:11:33,990
Um...
363
00:11:35,615 --> 00:11:38,309
They want to wire you maggots for sound!
364
00:11:38,394 --> 00:11:40,394
Do you hear me, maggots?
365
00:11:40,430 --> 00:11:43,064
They want to wire you filthy, subhuman,
366
00:11:43,099 --> 00:11:44,849
piece of shit maggots for sound!
367
00:11:44,934 --> 00:11:47,601
I'm not here to watch
you get older and fatter.
368
00:11:47,653 --> 00:11:50,688
Do you hear me, soldier?
369
00:11:50,773 --> 00:11:53,128
It was my drill sergeant from the Marines.
370
00:11:54,494 --> 00:11:56,360
You were in the Marines?
371
00:11:56,446 --> 00:11:59,396
For three years. Ask a question sometime.
372
00:11:59,923 --> 00:12:04,060
Anyway, uh, they want
to wire you for sound.
373
00:12:08,281 --> 00:12:10,169
She protected us?
374
00:12:14,584 --> 00:12:16,989
(Mitch) So apparently,
every year on the Fourth,
375
00:12:17,013 --> 00:12:19,074
the studio hosts a big
fireworks celebration
376
00:12:19,099 --> 00:12:21,426
for employees and their families.
377
00:12:21,451 --> 00:12:23,618
There's a beer garden,
music, the whole deal.
378
00:12:23,653 --> 00:12:26,821
I'd have invited my
parents, but it's sold out,
379
00:12:26,873 --> 00:12:30,559
so they're in L.A. right now
having dinner at a Coco's.
380
00:12:30,590 --> 00:12:33,606
- Hey, Mitch.
- Yes, hello good sirs
381
00:12:33,630 --> 00:12:37,473
- Here they are
- Alright buddy, you are up.
382
00:12:37,500 --> 00:12:38,666
- Mm?
- Impression contest.
383
00:12:38,718 --> 00:12:39,967
- Yeah.
- Oh.
384
00:12:40,003 --> 00:12:41,302
- Your turn.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
385
00:12:41,338 --> 00:12:42,778
I have been waiting all day for this.
386
00:12:42,839 --> 00:12:44,222
I've got very high hopes for you, so...
387
00:12:44,307 --> 00:12:47,058
Now is your chance to prove
yourself as a performer.
388
00:12:47,143 --> 00:12:49,093
Well, I hope not to let you guys down.
389
00:12:49,179 --> 00:12:51,346
Here we go. [clears throat]
390
00:12:51,431 --> 00:12:52,647
I'm President Barack Obama...
391
00:12:52,682 --> 00:12:53,628
I'm gonna stop you right there.
392
00:12:53,653 --> 00:12:54,245
Hmm.
393
00:12:54,270 --> 00:12:56,456
Don't say the name of the person
394
00:12:56,481 --> 00:12:57,769
that you're doing the impression of
395
00:12:57,854 --> 00:12:58,737
at the beginning.
396
00:12:58,762 --> 00:12:59,956
- Exactly.
- Right?
397
00:12:59,981 --> 00:13:02,357
If you must explain, you must refrain.
398
00:13:02,409 --> 00:13:04,108
Thanks. That's a great note.
399
00:13:04,194 --> 00:13:06,911
Yeah. I'll work... I'll continue to hone.
400
00:13:06,996 --> 00:13:08,696
- Yeah. For next year.
- Okay.
401
00:13:08,782 --> 00:13:09,614
- Way to go.
- All right.
402
00:13:09,699 --> 00:13:10,791
Bye, brother.
403
00:13:12,869 --> 00:13:14,369
(Bob) You're paying an entire crew overtime
404
00:13:14,421 --> 00:13:16,751
to work through the holiday why?
405
00:13:16,776 --> 00:13:20,375
It is... It's very complicated, Bob.
406
00:13:20,460 --> 00:13:23,594
(Bob) Kristen, I've been in
this business a long time,
407
00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:25,680
and I want to congratulate
you, because I'm not sure
408
00:13:25,715 --> 00:13:28,216
I have ever seen a more
poorly managed show.
409
00:13:28,301 --> 00:13:30,693
Thank you for ruining my Fourth of July.
410
00:13:31,855 --> 00:13:33,474
Sorry about that, Mom.
411
00:13:34,524 --> 00:13:37,558
It's work.
412
00:13:37,644 --> 00:13:39,560
Oh, look. 12 miles to Pomona.
413
00:13:39,646 --> 00:13:41,896
We're almost there.
414
00:13:41,981 --> 00:13:44,399
"I love that you get cold
when it's 71 degrees out.
415
00:13:44,451 --> 00:13:45,783
"I love that it takes you
416
00:13:45,869 --> 00:13:47,368
"an hour and a half to order a sandwich.
417
00:13:47,404 --> 00:13:49,871
"I love that you get a
little crinkle above your nose
418
00:13:49,906 --> 00:13:51,506
"when you're looking at me like I'm nuts.
419
00:13:51,574 --> 00:13:53,658
"I came here tonight
because when you realize
420
00:13:53,743 --> 00:13:55,903
"you want to spend the rest
of your life with somebody,
421
00:13:55,912 --> 00:13:58,286
you want the rest of your life
to start as soon as possible."
422
00:13:59,883 --> 00:14:01,434
Do you know when your mom's gonna be back?
423
00:14:02,302 --> 00:14:05,420
[patriotic music]
424
00:14:05,472 --> 00:14:07,922
Ma'am, I'm sorry, but
the lot is totally full.
425
00:14:08,007 --> 00:14:09,590
You'll have to park out on the street.
426
00:14:09,676 --> 00:14:12,510
I have had a very difficult day,
427
00:14:12,595 --> 00:14:15,980
and I would like for you
to lift the gate please.
428
00:14:16,065 --> 00:14:17,065
Uh, ma'am...
429
00:14:17,066 --> 00:14:18,344
Lift the gate.
430
00:14:19,018 --> 00:14:21,219
Yes, ma'am.
431
00:14:22,097 --> 00:14:25,417
[Chopsticks playing]
432
00:14:25,442 --> 00:14:31,195
433
00:14:31,281 --> 00:14:32,947
[laughing]
434
00:14:33,032 --> 00:14:35,283
(Mitch) And cut. All
right, that's a cut, guys.
435
00:14:35,335 --> 00:14:37,835
Very, very nice. Let's
reset. We'll do it again.
436
00:14:37,921 --> 00:14:39,331
Billy, dahling.
437
00:14:42,394 --> 00:14:43,458
[chuckles] He's a great kid, isn't he?
438
00:14:43,510 --> 00:14:45,126
Yeah, he is. He is.
439
00:14:45,211 --> 00:14:47,592
Guys, so, according to Tom,
440
00:14:47,616 --> 00:14:49,162
that last take was no good for sound.
441
00:14:49,186 --> 00:14:50,491
- None of it?
- What?
442
00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:52,515
It's the fireworks outside, they're
bleeding through.
443
00:14:52,539 --> 00:14:53,475
It's... [imitates fireworks]
444
00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:56,020
The mikes you guys are wearing
pick up every little noise.
445
00:14:56,105 --> 00:14:57,805
(Josh) All right, how
much longer is it gonna be?
446
00:14:57,891 --> 00:14:59,307
20, 30 minutes I'm told.
447
00:14:59,359 --> 00:15:02,360
Wow. That is a nice, long show.
448
00:15:02,445 --> 00:15:03,945
I bet it is spectacular.
449
00:15:03,980 --> 00:15:05,947
All right, I'm gonna go...
There are cupcakes out.
450
00:15:05,982 --> 00:15:07,365
- Do you want a cupcake?
- Yeah, I would love a cupcake.
451
00:15:07,450 --> 00:15:08,915
Just get a bunch.
452
00:15:10,820 --> 00:15:12,290
Get a bunch, Mitch?
453
00:15:13,406 --> 00:15:14,406
[stammers]
454
00:15:14,407 --> 00:15:17,325
[patriotic music]
455
00:15:17,410 --> 00:15:20,995
[fireworks exploding]
456
00:15:21,047 --> 00:15:23,714
[crowd exclaims]
457
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:28,201
[cheers and applause]
458
00:15:29,806 --> 00:15:30,806
Hey, there.
459
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:32,390
Oh, wow.
460
00:15:32,475 --> 00:15:35,226
So, Adam.
461
00:15:35,311 --> 00:15:37,728
How's he doing?
462
00:15:37,814 --> 00:15:39,180
(Stacy) Oh, he's having a ball.
463
00:15:39,265 --> 00:15:40,431
This is great.
464
00:15:40,517 --> 00:15:41,899
You're treating him so well.
465
00:15:41,985 --> 00:15:43,265
Of course. No, no, I know, but...
466
00:15:43,790 --> 00:15:45,071
- Yeah.
- How's he doing?
467
00:15:46,489 --> 00:15:47,522
What do you mean?
468
00:15:47,946 --> 00:15:48,977
You know, the...
469
00:15:49,826 --> 00:15:50,826
The cancer.
470
00:15:50,827 --> 00:15:52,860
Cancer?
471
00:15:52,912 --> 00:15:54,940
[laughing] He doesn't have cancer.
472
00:15:56,988 --> 00:15:58,404
Then why the wig?
473
00:15:58,429 --> 00:16:00,011
I told you the other day it was...
474
00:16:00,036 --> 00:16:01,628
He loves Fernando.
475
00:16:03,297 --> 00:16:06,631
And how did he get to
be a Make-A-Wish kid?
476
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:09,043
What the [bleep] are you talking about?
477
00:16:09,128 --> 00:16:11,128
He's not a
Make-A-Wish kid.
478
00:16:11,214 --> 00:16:12,880
It was an auction at his private school.
479
00:16:12,932 --> 00:16:14,215
This was one of the items.
480
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,163
Got my ex to pay 30 grand for it.
481
00:16:16,945 --> 00:16:18,265
Cancer.
482
00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:23,114
So you're, um...
483
00:16:23,276 --> 00:16:24,195
you're divorced?
484
00:16:26,946 --> 00:16:29,313
(Josh) 16...
485
00:16:29,399 --> 00:16:31,866
(both) A and C.
486
00:16:31,901 --> 00:16:33,818
- This is us.
- Okay, great.
487
00:16:33,903 --> 00:16:35,069
- Hey.
- Hi.
488
00:16:35,121 --> 00:16:35,901
Hi there.
489
00:16:37,490 --> 00:16:38,490
Sorry.
490
00:16:38,491 --> 00:16:41,268
One, two, three.
491
00:16:41,571 --> 00:16:44,205
Would you mind moving
so we could sit together?
492
00:16:44,230 --> 00:16:46,397
You know, I actually really
prefer the middle seat.
493
00:16:46,548 --> 00:16:48,298
You prefer the middle seat?
494
00:16:48,468 --> 00:16:50,718
Well, I prefer to be on my own
495
00:16:50,753 --> 00:16:52,670
just running through a park,
but I don't think I can.
496
00:16:52,755 --> 00:16:54,275
Don't do this here. Don't do this here.
497
00:16:54,307 --> 00:16:55,473
- No, I... you know...
- I'm so sorry.
498
00:16:55,558 --> 00:16:57,174
You're a real dick.
499
00:16:57,260 --> 00:16:58,593
- I'm gonna [bleep] you up.
- No, no, no.
500
00:16:58,678 --> 00:17:00,928
[fireworks exploding]
501
00:17:01,014 --> 00:17:04,052
Hey, don't I recognize
this cute little goldfish
502
00:17:04,076 --> 00:17:08,146
from around Bikini Bottom? Buuuuhh!
503
00:17:08,732 --> 00:17:10,841
- Mayor of Munchkin City?
- Okay, yeah..
504
00:17:10,990 --> 00:17:12,073
SpongeBob.
505
00:17:12,108 --> 00:17:13,691
- SquarePants.
- No. No.
506
00:17:13,776 --> 00:17:15,416
Doesn't sound like what I've seen of that.
507
00:17:15,445 --> 00:17:16,845
- The cartoon character.
- Yeah, no.
508
00:17:16,863 --> 00:17:18,162
I watch it all the time with my grandkids.
509
00:17:18,247 --> 00:17:19,113
(Josh) Work on it a little bit more.
510
00:17:19,165 --> 00:17:20,448
I'll go work on it a little.
511
00:17:20,533 --> 00:17:22,950
Why... why is everybody
just standing around?
512
00:17:23,036 --> 00:17:24,502
We are burning money here.
513
00:17:24,587 --> 00:17:26,921
We have to wait till
the fireworks show stops.
514
00:17:26,956 --> 00:17:29,090
Until they stop... that could
be, like, another 45 minutes.
515
00:17:29,125 --> 00:17:30,291
Have you seen the show they put on here?
516
00:17:30,343 --> 00:17:31,876
It's spectacular.
517
00:17:31,961 --> 00:17:33,794
This is... This is what we've been told.
518
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:35,346
(Billy) Hey, you know, Kristen,
519
00:17:35,431 --> 00:17:36,797
you haven't done an impression yet.
520
00:17:36,849 --> 00:17:38,549
- Oh, no, you haven't.
- An impression?
521
00:17:38,635 --> 00:17:40,184
- I don't do impressions.
- Everybody's done it.
522
00:17:40,269 --> 00:17:41,969
Everybody does an impression of somebody.
523
00:17:42,021 --> 00:17:43,270
- You can do it.
- I don't.
524
00:17:43,306 --> 00:17:45,056
(Billy) Come on, you can do somebody.
525
00:17:45,141 --> 00:17:47,391
Oh, you know who you
should do? Guy to my right.
526
00:17:47,477 --> 00:17:49,226
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
- Mr. Crystal.
527
00:17:49,312 --> 00:17:50,945
Just don't start it with
"Hi, I'm Billy Crystal."
528
00:17:50,980 --> 00:17:52,563
- That gets you disqualified.
- [laughs]
529
00:17:52,649 --> 00:17:53,954
(Kristen) I am not doing Billy. No.
530
00:17:53,979 --> 00:17:55,612
(Billy) Oh, come on.
You know what? I'm fine.
531
00:17:55,962 --> 00:17:58,295
Not a lot of people do me. I won't be mad.
532
00:18:02,931 --> 00:18:05,814
I prom... I won't... I
promise I won't be mad.
533
00:18:06,681 --> 00:18:08,746
I don't want to work blue, Kristen.
534
00:18:08,831 --> 00:18:10,631
[laughing]
535
00:18:10,667 --> 00:18:13,000
These kids with all the
pee-pee and the poo-poo.
536
00:18:13,086 --> 00:18:14,669
- Oh, my...
- [mumbling gutturally ]
537
00:18:14,721 --> 00:18:16,921
That is you.
538
00:18:17,006 --> 00:18:20,975
W-W-W-We do... we do too much
of the dick stuff, you know,
539
00:18:21,010 --> 00:18:22,727
and the balls and the ball schmutz
540
00:18:22,812 --> 00:18:24,845
and schmutzle and schlemiels...
541
00:18:24,897 --> 00:18:27,014
[laughter]
542
00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:28,482
And herpes.
543
00:18:28,518 --> 00:18:30,818
I could be a porn star too, Kristen.
544
00:18:30,853 --> 00:18:33,104
- [laughs]
- I could be a porn star too.
545
00:18:36,943 --> 00:18:37,875
Oh, my God.
546
00:18:39,882 --> 00:18:41,328
You killed my sketch.
547
00:18:41,364 --> 00:18:42,663
Josh, listen to me.
548
00:18:42,699 --> 00:18:43,948
(Josh) The kid?
549
00:18:44,033 --> 00:18:45,616
All the stuff with the network?
550
00:18:45,702 --> 00:18:47,918
You did that.
551
00:18:48,004 --> 00:18:49,537
- Josh.
- God damn it!
552
00:18:49,589 --> 00:18:51,090
Josh, just let...
553
00:18:53,055 --> 00:18:54,894
Get off my tail.
554
00:18:55,845 --> 00:18:57,074
[Billy groans]
555
00:18:59,095 --> 00:19:02,948
This may be the worst Fourth of July ever.
556
00:19:05,354 --> 00:19:06,520
- Josh.
- What?
557
00:19:06,556 --> 00:19:08,022
- Josh.
- What?
558
00:19:08,057 --> 00:19:09,640
Listen, I'm really sorry.
559
00:19:09,726 --> 00:19:11,406
Seriously, what the hell were you thinking?
560
00:19:11,477 --> 00:19:13,110
We've been getting
along really well lately,
561
00:19:13,196 --> 00:19:14,445
and we're doing good work.
562
00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:16,171
I did not want to upset the apple cart.
563
00:19:17,266 --> 00:19:19,093
Listen, I'll work blue,
564
00:19:19,118 --> 00:19:21,233
but not... not all the time.
565
00:19:21,257 --> 00:19:24,374
You know dick jokes, for me they're like,
dark and funny
566
00:19:24,399 --> 00:19:27,935
But ultimately they're Chinese food. 20
minutes later you don't know what...
567
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,577
Billy, Billy, as much as I love
568
00:19:29,662 --> 00:19:31,746
your Chinese food analogies,
I'm really not in the mood
569
00:19:31,798 --> 00:19:33,488
to hear another long lecture
about comedy right now.
570
00:19:34,625 --> 00:19:36,694
All right, but you have to know,
571
00:19:36,719 --> 00:19:38,613
with six long lectures, you get egg roll.
572
00:19:39,795 --> 00:19:42,066
You're making 1940s movie references.
573
00:19:42,091 --> 00:19:43,307
You're just hitting all the bases.
574
00:19:43,392 --> 00:19:44,392
It was the '60s.
575
00:19:44,393 --> 00:19:45,976
All right, listen.
576
00:19:46,062 --> 00:19:47,428
One last thing, and then I'll shut up.
577
00:19:47,513 --> 00:19:49,764
That kid in there, Alan...
578
00:19:49,816 --> 00:19:51,315
- Adam?
- Yeah, Adam.
579
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,435
As weird as he is, he knows all my stuff.
580
00:19:53,936 --> 00:19:56,341
He's memorized everything I've ever done.
581
00:19:57,356 --> 00:19:58,656
So I don't want to work blue.
582
00:19:58,741 --> 00:20:00,491
I will mix it up with anybody offstage.
583
00:20:00,576 --> 00:20:03,828
Onstage, on TV, movies, I
don't want to work that way.
584
00:20:03,913 --> 00:20:05,830
That's fine.
585
00:20:05,915 --> 00:20:07,698
Just, from now on,
586
00:20:07,784 --> 00:20:09,834
if you're not happy with
something that I'm doing,
587
00:20:09,919 --> 00:20:10,785
just tell me.
588
00:20:10,870 --> 00:20:12,369
Just be honest with me.
589
00:20:12,455 --> 00:20:14,221
I will. I will. And you with me.
590
00:20:14,246 --> 00:20:16,257
- 'Cause we're partners in this.
- We are partners in this.
591
00:20:16,292 --> 00:20:17,458
- Do you want some?
- No, and why are you smoking?
592
00:20:17,510 --> 00:20:19,150
I'm just really mad.
593
00:20:19,355 --> 00:20:22,607
By the way, Adam? Turns out he's not dying.
594
00:20:22,632 --> 00:20:24,381
- What?
- Yeah, he's just rich.
595
00:20:24,467 --> 00:20:26,100
We just spent two days
with a kid who's gonna live?
596
00:20:26,135 --> 00:20:27,645
I know. It's very disappointing.
597
00:20:29,689 --> 00:20:31,188
That little [bleep].
598
00:20:31,274 --> 00:20:33,941
- Right?
- That little [bleep] [bleep].
599
00:20:33,976 --> 00:20:35,392
That little piece of shit.
600
00:20:35,478 --> 00:20:36,694
- Mm-hmm. - And
you know what else?
601
00:20:36,779 --> 00:20:38,729
- His Fernando sucked.
- Oh, yeah.
602
00:20:38,815 --> 00:20:40,197
- That [bleep].
- Bitch.
603
00:20:40,283 --> 00:20:42,700
Mother... and his [bleep]
[bleep] of a mother.
604
00:20:42,785 --> 00:20:44,185
Her... I thought she was pretty hot.
605
00:20:44,203 --> 00:20:45,119
- Really?
- Yeah.
606
00:20:45,154 --> 00:20:46,154
Pricks.
607
00:20:46,239 --> 00:20:47,955
What is with fireworks?
608
00:20:47,990 --> 00:20:49,790
- I hate them. I hate them.
- Do they make sense?
609
00:20:49,826 --> 00:20:51,709
No, they're like Technicolor
terrorist attacks.
610
00:20:51,794 --> 00:20:53,994
Thank you, China, put some
more [bleep] shit in the air.
611
00:20:53,996 --> 00:20:55,246
Hey, you want to go get a beer
612
00:20:55,331 --> 00:20:56,664
since we're just standing around?
613
00:20:56,749 --> 00:20:58,389
That's the best idea you've had all night.
614
00:20:58,417 --> 00:21:00,668
And by the way, this mermaid
outfit is a little sexy.
615
00:21:00,753 --> 00:21:02,303
Thank you. You're so sweet.
616
00:21:02,338 --> 00:21:04,218
If I was a salmon, I'd
be right in your [bleep].
617
00:21:04,223 --> 00:21:05,223
- I swear to God.
- Aw.
618
00:21:05,308 --> 00:21:06,340
This is a turn-on right there.
619
00:21:06,425 --> 00:21:08,309
[laughs]
620
00:21:08,344 --> 00:21:10,010
- Hey.
- You.
621
00:21:10,062 --> 00:21:11,382
You should be ashamed of yourself.
622
00:21:11,430 --> 00:21:12,980
(Adam) Yeah.
623
00:21:13,015 --> 00:21:15,229
You should be ashamed
of yourself, Mr. Crystal.
624
00:21:16,962 --> 00:21:18,378
What the hell was that about?
625
00:21:22,543 --> 00:21:24,209
- Oh, shit.
- Shit.
626
00:21:24,234 --> 00:21:26,162
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
627
00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:29,414
Let's get a [bleep] beer.
628
00:21:29,448 --> 00:21:30,896
Yeah, let's get a beer.
629
00:21:34,545 --> 00:21:36,668
So do you want to start
with the pilot and just...
630
00:21:36,693 --> 00:21:38,418
Or just go to my favorite episodes?
631
00:21:38,443 --> 00:21:40,716
I haven't been touched
by a man in three years.
632
00:21:43,069 --> 00:21:45,724
Mm, let me just close the door.
633
00:21:45,749 --> 00:21:47,606
Good idea. [sniffs]
634
00:21:47,631 --> 00:21:51,276
- [mouthing words]
- It smells like ham in here.
635
00:21:51,301 --> 00:21:52,770
Yeah, I like ham.
636
00:21:52,795 --> 00:21:54,294
Oh. Okay.
637
00:21:54,319 --> 00:21:56,747
Oh, God. Oh, yeah.
638
00:21:56,772 --> 00:21:58,389
Yeah. You're a freaky snowman.
639
00:21:58,414 --> 00:21:59,210
What?
640
00:21:59,234 --> 00:22:04,913
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
- www.addic7ed.com -
641
00:22:08,101 --> 00:22:09,943
[typewriter keys clacking]
642
00:22:09,968 --> 00:22:10,669
[typewriter dings]
643
00:22:10,719 --> 00:22:15,269
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