All language subtitles for The Comedians s01e02 Come to the House.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:03,540 Go on without me, partner. I'm as good as dead. 2 00:00:03,630 --> 00:00:04,840 - I can't go. - Go! 3 00:00:04,930 --> 00:00:06,790 You don't need to get yourself killed too. 4 00:00:06,850 --> 00:00:07,800 You don't need to be a hero. 5 00:00:07,850 --> 00:00:09,430 No, I literally can't go. 6 00:00:09,470 --> 00:00:10,800 You're sitting on my car keys. 7 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:12,220 [laughter] 8 00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:13,880 Listen to me, you son of a bitch. 9 00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,690 I need you to lean me over, 10 00:00:15,770 --> 00:00:17,050 reach under my left butt cheek, 11 00:00:17,140 --> 00:00:19,060 and get those keys. 12 00:00:19,140 --> 00:00:20,890 [laughter] 13 00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:22,390 I'm sorry, could we... 14 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:23,890 Guys, could we cut just for a second? 15 00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:24,780 - I'm sorry... - I thought that was good. 16 00:00:24,810 --> 00:00:26,400 The last... the last line 17 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:27,780 should be louder, you know? 18 00:00:27,820 --> 00:00:29,280 "Reach under my left butt cheek 19 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:30,700 and get those keys!" 20 00:00:30,790 --> 00:00:31,870 Yeah, I mean, 21 00:00:31,950 --> 00:00:33,150 we could do it many different ways. 22 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:34,990 I just thought that we were doing this 23 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:37,660 in the tone of, like, an action film, 24 00:00:37,710 --> 00:00:39,160 like a Bruce Willis movie 25 00:00:39,210 --> 00:00:40,660 or a Daniel Craig movie. 26 00:00:40,750 --> 00:00:41,830 Yeah, but those guys you can hear. 27 00:00:41,910 --> 00:00:43,800 Yeah, but James Bond doesn't scream, 28 00:00:43,830 --> 00:00:45,330 "Shaken, not stirred!" 29 00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:47,050 You know, it would kind of take away the sex appeal 30 00:00:47,140 --> 00:00:48,670 of that line. 31 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:49,890 Plus, there will be a boom mic, from what I was told, 32 00:00:49,970 --> 00:00:51,220 and I'm wearing a mic? 33 00:00:51,310 --> 00:00:52,310 I'm pretty sure that will pick me up. 34 00:00:52,340 --> 00:00:53,560 Well, let's just carry on... 35 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:55,010 You know, I don't think it matters. 36 00:00:55,060 --> 00:00:56,140 It's your big punch line. 37 00:00:56,180 --> 00:00:57,510 The audience will go crazy. 38 00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:58,850 You know, it's funny. 39 00:00:58,900 --> 00:01:00,350 Whoa. What? Audience? 40 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:02,069 Yeah. 41 00:01:02,070 --> 00:01:04,939 So, I'm sorry. I thought we were doing this as a... 42 00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:06,768 As a film piece. I thought that was what we had discussed. 43 00:01:06,769 --> 00:01:08,799 No no no. No no no no. That's... 44 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:11,418 Honestly, for me. This can't be on location. 45 00:01:11,450 --> 00:01:12,950 This is an audience piece. 46 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:14,460 They'll go crazy. Jamie, come on. 47 00:01:14,540 --> 00:01:15,620 Help me out here. 48 00:01:15,710 --> 00:01:18,630 (Jamie) So where do I begin? 49 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:21,260 Six years ago, I was on top of the world. 50 00:01:21,300 --> 00:01:23,930 I was directing big films, 51 00:01:23,970 --> 00:01:27,300 and I was making money... 52 00:01:27,390 --> 00:01:29,970 hand over fist, and... 53 00:01:30,060 --> 00:01:32,270 I was living in the wrong body. 54 00:01:32,310 --> 00:01:33,220 Okay? 55 00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:35,140 Billy and Josh? 56 00:01:35,230 --> 00:01:38,480 Uh... 57 00:01:38,530 --> 00:01:40,780 they're great. 58 00:01:40,820 --> 00:01:42,530 We're live performers, Josh. 59 00:01:42,620 --> 00:01:43,570 I just think that we're at our best 60 00:01:43,650 --> 00:01:45,040 when we're onstage. 61 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:46,490 So when you guys shot City Slickers, 62 00:01:46,570 --> 00:01:48,210 you shot that in front of a live audience? 63 00:01:48,290 --> 00:01:49,870 Josh, that's not helpful. 64 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:51,710 No, all I'm saying is, I think that the opening 65 00:01:51,790 --> 00:01:53,160 of the show needs some juice. 66 00:01:53,250 --> 00:01:54,460 I just want to get some juice, you know, 67 00:01:54,500 --> 00:01:55,830 when we open the show so... 68 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:57,130 Like... like Ernie Kovacs. 69 00:01:57,170 --> 00:01:58,470 I don't know who that is. 70 00:01:58,500 --> 00:01:59,500 You don't know who Ernie Kovacs is? 71 00:01:59,550 --> 00:02:01,670 Ernie Kovacs... Classic TV icon. 72 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:04,140 I mean, he really was a pioneer of physical comedy. 73 00:02:04,170 --> 00:02:05,420 - Percy Dovetonsils. - The Nairobi trio... 74 00:02:05,510 --> 00:02:07,170 That sounds terrible. 75 00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:08,640 But he would start every show in an unpredictable way, 76 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:11,230 and I think we have the ability to do that. 77 00:02:11,310 --> 00:02:13,930 Guys... Jamie, 78 00:02:14,020 --> 00:02:16,770 I just feel like this whole canned laugh track 79 00:02:16,850 --> 00:02:19,690 feels really old-school. 80 00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:20,850 I feel like you're sitting on my lap. 81 00:02:20,910 --> 00:02:22,320 Is there a reason? 82 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:23,520 It's just that I put my stuff here 83 00:02:23,580 --> 00:02:26,030 because this is where I wanted to sit, 84 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:27,660 and then you pushed it away, but... 85 00:02:27,700 --> 00:02:30,500 Well, I just was... I was sitting here, you know. 86 00:02:30,530 --> 00:02:32,750 I don't think that this sketch 87 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:34,280 will be best on location. 88 00:02:34,370 --> 00:02:35,700 I think we should do it in front of a live audience. 89 00:02:35,790 --> 00:02:36,920 And bottom line is, I just feel like 90 00:02:37,010 --> 00:02:39,040 we should shoot the sketch, 91 00:02:39,130 --> 00:02:40,540 you know, without a live audience. 92 00:02:40,630 --> 00:02:42,930 I think that the best idea would be to cut it. 93 00:02:43,010 --> 00:02:44,460 Just cut it? 94 00:02:44,550 --> 00:02:45,710 Cut the opening sketch? 95 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:47,550 Just cut the whole sketch? 96 00:02:47,630 --> 00:02:50,050 It's a good compromise, I think. 97 00:02:50,140 --> 00:02:53,050 Is it sometimes tough to square what Billy wants 98 00:02:53,110 --> 00:02:54,050 with what Josh wants? 99 00:02:54,110 --> 00:02:55,060 Sure, 100 00:02:55,110 --> 00:02:57,390 but I'm the head writer, 101 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:00,480 so you know, it's... It's with great power comes... 102 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,030 Got to park in the structure. 103 00:03:02,060 --> 00:03:03,610 - What's that? - Got to park in the structure. 104 00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:05,230 - Oh, no. I'm sorry. - P4 or below. 105 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:07,320 - I have the reserve... - You got to park P4 or below. 106 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,040 I have a reserved space... [horn honks] 107 00:03:09,070 --> 00:03:10,570 - All full! - Okay, all right. All right. 108 00:03:10,660 --> 00:03:12,290 - P4 and below. - I got it. Okay. 109 00:03:12,370 --> 00:03:14,410 They must be filming something. 110 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:17,410 (male announcer) On the next Lewis is the New Black... 111 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:27,420 [mumbles] 112 00:03:27,470 --> 00:03:28,970 [sighs] 113 00:03:29,060 --> 00:03:31,180 There's no time for the sex now, Red. 114 00:03:31,260 --> 00:03:32,430 The world's falling apart. 115 00:03:32,510 --> 00:03:34,600 California's got a drought. 116 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:35,980 There are Shiites and Kurds 117 00:03:36,070 --> 00:03:38,100 and Kardashians running amok. 118 00:03:38,180 --> 00:03:40,070 I'm telling you, America's pulling money out of its ass 119 00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:41,400 and no place to distribute it. 120 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,850 We're living in a shit storm! 121 00:03:43,940 --> 00:03:46,520 So that's a "no"? 122 00:03:46,610 --> 00:03:47,940 No, that's a "yes." 123 00:03:47,990 --> 00:03:49,490 I'm just trying to romance you. 124 00:03:49,580 --> 00:03:50,830 Let's do this, but stay out of my Ukraine. 125 00:03:50,910 --> 00:03:52,450 Ooh, I love it when you use 126 00:03:52,530 --> 00:03:55,030 dirty cultural references. 127 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:56,250 [both grunt] 128 00:03:56,290 --> 00:03:57,280 Whoa! 129 00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:59,500 Hello, Chernobyl. 130 00:03:59,590 --> 00:04:00,870 So she's, like, one of those 131 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:03,260 little tiny, tiny, rich yoga ladies. 132 00:04:03,290 --> 00:04:04,340 You know the kind I'm talking about? 133 00:04:04,430 --> 00:04:05,340 Yeah. No. I hate those bitches. 134 00:04:05,430 --> 00:04:06,460 It's like, we get it, 135 00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:08,930 you're flexible, going to yoga. 136 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:10,350 Right. Right. 137 00:04:10,430 --> 00:04:12,100 That's besides the point, but anyway, 138 00:04:12,130 --> 00:04:13,020 so I'm in the back of the line, she's up front, 139 00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:14,130 and she's like, 140 00:04:14,190 --> 00:04:15,520 [nasally voice] "Hi. 141 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:18,970 "Can I please get a nonfat vanilla 142 00:04:19,060 --> 00:04:21,810 soy latte with extra foam, 143 00:04:21,860 --> 00:04:23,860 Grande, Grande, 144 00:04:23,950 --> 00:04:27,310 1.5 Splendas, measure it out, 145 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,980 and just a soup?on of coconut milk." 146 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:31,070 Oh, my God. [laughs] 147 00:04:31,150 --> 00:04:32,450 "Just a soup?on." [laughs] 148 00:04:32,490 --> 00:04:34,320 She did not say "soup?on." 149 00:04:34,410 --> 00:04:35,820 No, she said "a splash" but... 150 00:04:35,910 --> 00:04:37,830 - What's so funny? - Oh, I was just... 151 00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:39,630 Josh saw this chick at the commissary 152 00:04:39,660 --> 00:04:40,910 who was, like... 153 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,960 - Hey! - Hi. 154 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,500 - How are you doing? - Hey, Mrs. Crystal... 155 00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:46,220 You must be Mrs. Crystal. 156 00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:48,220 Oh, please, it's Julie. Please. 157 00:04:48,300 --> 00:04:49,750 - Julie, Josh, Esme. - It's so nice to meet you. 158 00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:51,000 Billy's said such nice things about you. 159 00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:52,720 Well, don't tell him 160 00:04:52,810 --> 00:04:54,090 because I don't want him to get comfortable. 161 00:04:54,180 --> 00:04:55,640 - [laughs] - For me? Oh, thank you. 162 00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:57,060 - Does it have the... - Yes. Coconut milk, yeah. 163 00:04:57,150 --> 00:04:58,230 Ooh, see? I don't even have to ask. 164 00:04:58,310 --> 00:05:00,010 Oh, my God. Josh, you have to do that... 165 00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:01,180 Such an honor to meet you. 166 00:05:01,270 --> 00:05:02,520 - Impression for Billy. - No. No. 167 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:03,850 What? 168 00:05:03,940 --> 00:05:05,320 Billy, you're gonna 100% shit yourself 169 00:05:05,350 --> 00:05:06,940 when he does it. 170 00:05:07,020 --> 00:05:08,440 Well, shitting myself is my favorite thing. 171 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:09,360 Unfortunately, it's true. 172 00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:10,360 [laughter] 173 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:11,990 TMI. 174 00:05:12,030 --> 00:05:13,280 I haven't done it today, so go ahead. 175 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:14,530 - Not today. - What about my needs? 176 00:05:14,610 --> 00:05:16,000 - I don't want to do it. - Do it! 177 00:05:16,030 --> 00:05:19,420 - Come on. - Come on, I bet it's good. 178 00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:23,540 [Southern accent] Hey. I'm Maya Angelou. 179 00:05:23,620 --> 00:05:27,290 It's... I know why the caged bird sings 180 00:05:27,380 --> 00:05:30,210 'cause he's stuck in a damn cage. 181 00:05:33,270 --> 00:05:34,630 That wasn't... 182 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:36,423 [normal voice] I'm still honing it. 183 00:05:36,424 --> 00:05:38,089 - I do a whole... - It's a little rough. 184 00:05:38,090 --> 00:05:39,727 - That wasn't what I meant. - She puts the bird in the cage. 185 00:05:39,728 --> 00:05:41,541 And I know part the caged bird saying... 186 00:05:42,220 --> 00:05:43,720 She... Sorry, I'm getting a little... 187 00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:45,480 - That's okay. - [sighs] 188 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:46,980 - She was a good friend of ours. - She was a friend of ours. 189 00:05:47,060 --> 00:05:49,400 No, Maya Angelou... You're crying. Oh, shit. 190 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:51,060 I meant the yoga lady, Josh. 191 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:52,450 - Yeah. - The who? 192 00:05:52,530 --> 00:05:54,030 - We were just talking about it. - You know what? 193 00:05:54,070 --> 00:05:56,990 I forgot to tell you s... I'm so dumb, dumb. 194 00:05:57,070 --> 00:05:58,540 Kristen needed to speak to you 195 00:05:58,570 --> 00:06:00,070 about some forms that she wanted you to sign. 196 00:06:00,130 --> 00:06:01,410 Go, go now. Leave. 197 00:06:01,490 --> 00:06:04,410 - I don't sign forms. - Get... go. 198 00:06:04,460 --> 00:06:06,910 Did she smell like marijuana to you guys too? 199 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,420 - No. - Yeah, I think so. 200 00:06:08,470 --> 00:06:10,470 Yeah, I'll talk to her about not smoking marijuana. 201 00:06:10,550 --> 00:06:12,670 Listen, why don't we have Josh over for dinner? 202 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,500 I can cook. I'll cook. 203 00:06:14,590 --> 00:06:16,310 I think we're free Thursday. Aren't we? 204 00:06:16,390 --> 00:06:17,670 - No. No. - Sounds great. 205 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:19,010 - No, Thursday... no. - I'm free. 206 00:06:19,090 --> 00:06:20,310 No, it's the Clipper playoff game. 207 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:21,650 The Clippers. The guys come over. 208 00:06:21,730 --> 00:06:23,350 - It's very intense. - No way. 209 00:06:23,430 --> 00:06:24,480 We watch in a certain way. 210 00:06:24,570 --> 00:06:25,430 Well, that makes it sound even better. 211 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:26,520 "The guys." 212 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:27,820 I don't know who "the guys" are, 213 00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:29,150 but just the way you said it sounds fun. 214 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:30,240 No, but it's... it's... 215 00:06:30,270 --> 00:06:32,440 I'd love to. Sure. Yeah. 216 00:06:32,490 --> 00:06:33,990 Thursday night? 217 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:35,160 Yeah. Yeah. 218 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:36,990 - Yeah. - Yeah. 219 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:40,780 As the French say, tr?s bien. 220 00:06:40,870 --> 00:06:43,030 [both sigh] 221 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:44,250 [whispering] I'm sorry. 222 00:06:44,290 --> 00:06:47,120 - What? What? - I'm sorry. 223 00:06:47,210 --> 00:06:48,670 You want me to uninvite him? We can't do that. 224 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:50,670 No, because you gave him the right address. 225 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:53,340 It's gonna be fine. Come on. 226 00:06:53,430 --> 00:06:55,130 It's a chance for you guys to get to know each other. 227 00:06:55,180 --> 00:06:57,300 But, you know, it's Oklahoma City. 228 00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:58,550 It's Durant. It's Westbrook. It's the playoffs. 229 00:06:58,630 --> 00:07:00,050 Bill, 230 00:07:00,140 --> 00:07:01,640 I don't have the Clippers' schedule 231 00:07:01,690 --> 00:07:03,100 tattooed on the back of my hand. 232 00:07:03,140 --> 00:07:04,970 I know, but I do. 233 00:07:05,060 --> 00:07:07,020 That's why I can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery. 234 00:07:07,110 --> 00:07:09,060 You're gonna be fine. Just fine. 235 00:07:09,140 --> 00:07:10,480 You can watch the game. 236 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:12,730 Just maybe you can't sacrifice a goat 237 00:07:12,820 --> 00:07:14,700 or whatever it is you guys do in there. 238 00:07:14,780 --> 00:07:16,650 First of all, it's a lamb, 239 00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:19,070 and we don't do it for us, we do it for the Clippers. 240 00:07:19,150 --> 00:07:20,400 - Really? - Yeah. 241 00:07:20,490 --> 00:07:22,910 Oh. 242 00:07:22,990 --> 00:07:24,990 (Kristen) Jamie? No. 243 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:26,830 I don't want to talk about that. 244 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:30,880 That is an area of my life I would prefer not to revisit. 245 00:07:30,970 --> 00:07:32,750 [clicks tongue] Ever. 246 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:37,250 He was just... he was this big, handsome, strapping director, 247 00:07:37,340 --> 00:07:41,220 and I was just this, you know, young, impressionable PA. 248 00:07:41,310 --> 00:07:43,930 You know, it's just not something that I... 249 00:07:44,010 --> 00:07:45,650 I want to discuss. 250 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:48,430 Some of the most intense, 251 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,850 profound orgasms of my life. 252 00:07:50,940 --> 00:07:53,459 No. No, no. 253 00:07:53,460 --> 00:07:55,804 My eyes rolled so far back in my head. 254 00:07:55,805 --> 00:07:58,165 I saw my brain. You can do that, and it was scary and 255 00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:00,080 [whispers] fantastic. 256 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:02,700 Hey. Hey. 257 00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:05,250 So the guys cannot agree on this opening sketch, 258 00:08:05,330 --> 00:08:06,870 and I don't know where Jamie's head is at, 259 00:08:06,950 --> 00:08:08,540 so I have a feeling this is gonna be a long night. 260 00:08:08,620 --> 00:08:10,840 I have an entire writing staff counting on me... 261 00:08:10,870 --> 00:08:12,260 What's the question, Mitch? 262 00:08:12,340 --> 00:08:13,670 Oh, um, I just... I thought it might be nice 263 00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:15,210 to do a coffee run. 264 00:08:15,260 --> 00:08:17,540 Yes! That would be amazing. 265 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:20,760 Can I get a dirty chai and whatever cookie looks good? 266 00:08:20,850 --> 00:08:22,880 Um, what I was meaning... 267 00:08:22,940 --> 00:08:25,600 Guys, hi. Have you seen Kristen? 268 00:08:25,690 --> 00:08:27,800 No, I've been holed up in the writers' room all day. 269 00:08:27,890 --> 00:08:29,520 But Mitch is doing a coffee run, if you want anything. 270 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:30,690 No. 271 00:08:30,730 --> 00:08:33,230 Mitch, send her out for coffee. 272 00:08:33,310 --> 00:08:34,610 She doesn't send you out for coffee. 273 00:08:34,700 --> 00:08:36,060 - Ooh! - Okay? 274 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:37,450 [loud clatter, Kristen groans] 275 00:08:37,530 --> 00:08:38,230 (Kristen) Shit. 276 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,370 Oh, Kris... Wait a sec, Kristen! 277 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:43,570 What is that about? 278 00:08:43,660 --> 00:08:44,990 Drama. 279 00:08:45,070 --> 00:08:46,490 I guess someone said they used to bang? 280 00:08:46,580 --> 00:08:48,580 Like, back when Jamie was a dude 281 00:08:48,660 --> 00:08:49,580 or whatever. 282 00:08:49,660 --> 00:08:51,290 Like, in the '70s, 283 00:08:51,380 --> 00:08:52,880 and he was, like, cheating on his wife with her. 284 00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:53,910 I don't know. I wasn't supes listening. 285 00:08:53,970 --> 00:08:55,580 Whoa. 286 00:08:55,630 --> 00:08:56,920 Anyway, dirty chai, whatever cookie looks good, 287 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,470 no nuts. 288 00:08:58,550 --> 00:09:02,340 I'm not allergic. I just hate them. 289 00:09:02,420 --> 00:09:03,760 Okay. 290 00:09:05,390 --> 00:09:07,100 Wine? 291 00:09:07,190 --> 00:09:09,390 That's literally the worst suggestion I've ever heard. 292 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,440 You want me to bring Billy Crystal, 293 00:09:11,530 --> 00:09:14,640 who probably has everything imaginable in his house, 294 00:09:14,730 --> 00:09:16,280 a bottle of wine? 295 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,560 It might be nice. People like wine. 296 00:09:18,620 --> 00:09:19,950 What if he doesn't drink wine? 297 00:09:20,030 --> 00:09:21,030 What if she doesn't drink wine? 298 00:09:21,070 --> 00:09:22,230 Okay. All right. 299 00:09:22,290 --> 00:09:24,290 How about a gift certificate? 300 00:09:24,370 --> 00:09:25,400 No. 301 00:09:25,490 --> 00:09:26,790 You know what? 302 00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:30,790 He probably already has this, but... 303 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:31,910 [sighs] 304 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:36,470 A security alarm system? 305 00:09:36,550 --> 00:09:38,420 What does that even mean? 306 00:09:38,470 --> 00:09:41,079 Bring, like, an ADT Security person 307 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,542 to install something in his home... 308 00:09:42,543 --> 00:09:44,489 If he doesn't already have one. 309 00:09:44,490 --> 00:09:46,759 Or maybe, he's not happy with the service. 310 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:49,060 I mean this in the nicest way possible, 311 00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:52,150 there's literally a level of autism 312 00:09:52,230 --> 00:09:53,600 to some of these suggestions. 313 00:09:53,650 --> 00:09:55,400 This is a nightmare. 314 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:56,850 This is a goddamn nightmare. 315 00:09:56,940 --> 00:09:57,940 (Jamie) [knocking] Josh? 316 00:09:57,990 --> 00:10:00,610 - Honey, are you decent? - Yeah. 317 00:10:00,660 --> 00:10:02,070 - Hey. - Hey. 318 00:10:02,110 --> 00:10:03,030 Seen Kristen? 319 00:10:03,110 --> 00:10:04,160 Kristen? 320 00:10:04,250 --> 00:10:06,610 - No. Uh-uh. No. - Yeah. 321 00:10:06,700 --> 00:10:08,000 If you see her, just tell her I'm looking for her. 322 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:09,420 - Okay? - Yeah. You got it. 323 00:10:09,450 --> 00:10:12,840 Great seeing you. 324 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:15,450 So... 325 00:10:15,510 --> 00:10:18,590 I feel like we haven't made any progress 326 00:10:18,630 --> 00:10:23,130 on the "What do I bring to Billy's house for dinner" front. 327 00:10:28,550 --> 00:10:32,190 Wow. It's unbelievable. 328 00:10:32,270 --> 00:10:33,360 This should be fun. 329 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:34,940 I'm really excited about this. 330 00:10:34,980 --> 00:10:38,610 I actually don't know anything about basketball. 331 00:10:38,650 --> 00:10:41,480 I hired a TaskRabbit to teach me about hoops. 332 00:10:41,570 --> 00:10:44,320 But I do know a couple of things about making friends... 333 00:10:44,370 --> 00:10:46,320 [metal crunches] 334 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:50,210 Oh, shit. 335 00:10:50,290 --> 00:10:51,820 We, uh, 336 00:10:51,910 --> 00:10:53,630 maybe we should do some street parking 337 00:10:53,660 --> 00:10:55,460 'cause I feel like I'm not giving these guys 338 00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:57,500 enough space to get out of here. 339 00:10:57,550 --> 00:10:58,660 [knocking] 340 00:10:58,750 --> 00:11:00,250 (Billy) Coming! 341 00:11:00,330 --> 00:11:02,170 You'd think they could afford a doorbell. 342 00:11:02,250 --> 00:11:03,220 - Hey. You made it. - Hey! 343 00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:04,640 Hey. Good to see you. 344 00:11:04,670 --> 00:11:05,840 Listen, the game's about to start. 345 00:11:05,890 --> 00:11:07,670 The guys are out back. Plenty of food. 346 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:08,890 I got you guys a little something... 347 00:11:08,980 --> 00:11:10,310 Oh, Josh, that's nice, 348 00:11:10,340 --> 00:11:11,560 but you really didn't have to do anything. 349 00:11:11,650 --> 00:11:12,980 - No, I wanted to. - Sharper Image. 350 00:11:13,010 --> 00:11:14,310 That way, you can buy whatever you want. 351 00:11:14,350 --> 00:11:15,900 - Oh, that's nice. - 100 bucks. 352 00:11:15,980 --> 00:11:17,100 - That's really nice. - It's 100 bucks. 353 00:11:17,180 --> 00:11:19,100 - Oh, Josh! Hi. - Hey. How are you? 354 00:11:19,190 --> 00:11:20,490 - Oh. - Welcome. Come in. 355 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:21,820 [as Billy] You look marvelous. 356 00:11:21,860 --> 00:11:23,320 Ah, I've never heard that before. 357 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:24,860 - If I had a nickel... - Yeah. 358 00:11:24,910 --> 00:11:25,990 The gift certificate is for the both of you, 359 00:11:26,030 --> 00:11:27,360 by the way. 360 00:11:27,450 --> 00:11:28,360 Oh, well, that's so sweet of you. 361 00:11:28,450 --> 00:11:29,410 Thank you. 362 00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:30,450 By the way, if I may, 363 00:11:30,530 --> 00:11:32,200 you have a fabulous house. 364 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:33,780 (Julie) Oh, thank you. 365 00:11:33,870 --> 00:11:35,080 Hey, do you want the tour? 366 00:11:35,170 --> 00:11:36,370 Sure. I would love that, yeah. 367 00:11:36,420 --> 00:11:37,250 - Billy? - What? 368 00:11:37,340 --> 00:11:38,670 Give Josh the full tour. 369 00:11:38,710 --> 00:11:39,620 Yeah, sure. After the game. 370 00:11:39,710 --> 00:11:40,920 I'll be happy to. 371 00:11:41,010 --> 00:11:42,840 No, I think he wants to see it now, right? 372 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:44,340 Yeah, but the game's about to start right now 373 00:11:44,380 --> 00:11:46,100 in about 30 seconds... 374 00:11:46,180 --> 00:11:47,880 - I'm good either way. - Yeah, but after the game... 375 00:11:47,930 --> 00:11:49,050 I think that the game can wait. 376 00:11:49,130 --> 00:11:50,600 No, it's a playoff game. 377 00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:52,270 No, there's a DVR. 378 00:11:52,350 --> 00:11:53,890 Yeah, there is, and you know, Joe is here, 379 00:11:53,940 --> 00:11:55,220 and Sugar Ray's here and... 380 00:11:55,310 --> 00:11:57,157 Yeah, I know, but Josh asked for the tour... 381 00:11:57,158 --> 00:11:59,289 I was presented with the offer. I'm good either... 382 00:11:59,290 --> 00:12:01,216 - The game's about to start. - I think it's a good idea that you give him the tour. 383 00:12:01,914 --> 00:12:03,279 - I'll put in on pause. - Thank you. 384 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,400 And then we can watch it afterwards. 385 00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:06,650 - Thank you. - Good. Great, yeah. 386 00:12:06,730 --> 00:12:08,480 - And, um, honey? - Yeah? 387 00:12:08,570 --> 00:12:09,950 Full tour. 388 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:10,990 - Yeah. - Thank you. 389 00:12:11,070 --> 00:12:14,570 - Okay. - Okay. Have fun. 390 00:12:14,630 --> 00:12:15,660 She's delightful. 391 00:12:15,740 --> 00:12:16,960 So, uh, full tour. 392 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:18,540 Let's start in my office, okay? 393 00:12:18,580 --> 00:12:20,250 - Yeah. Yeah. - It's... which is over here. 394 00:12:20,330 --> 00:12:21,910 Is it rude to ask how much a place like this goes for? 395 00:12:21,970 --> 00:12:22,920 Yeah. 396 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,470 Ooh. I love the pillows. 397 00:12:24,550 --> 00:12:27,220 I love that it goes one green, one white. 398 00:12:27,250 --> 00:12:28,920 You don't want to do that. Come on. 399 00:12:29,010 --> 00:12:31,220 Whatever the day... Wherever the day takes... 400 00:12:31,260 --> 00:12:32,590 Ooh. There she is. Hold on. Hold on. 401 00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:34,180 I'll call you back. Hey, Kristen! 402 00:12:34,260 --> 00:12:36,760 Could you hold that, please? 403 00:12:36,850 --> 00:12:38,100 [sighs] There you are. 404 00:12:38,150 --> 00:12:39,180 Hey. Oh, hey. 405 00:12:39,270 --> 00:12:41,070 - Finally. - Jamie, hi. 406 00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:42,820 I've been... so busy. 407 00:12:42,900 --> 00:12:45,350 Where... have you been looking for me? 408 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:47,740 We need to talk. 409 00:12:47,780 --> 00:12:49,490 Yeah. 410 00:12:49,580 --> 00:12:51,440 We do. 411 00:12:53,950 --> 00:12:56,700 (Jamie) I always thought we'd be able to pick up right where we left off. 412 00:12:56,780 --> 00:13:01,040 You know, it is so awkward with our history together. 413 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:03,340 Listen, I am not still attracted to you, 414 00:13:03,420 --> 00:13:05,170 if that is what you were worried about. 415 00:13:05,260 --> 00:13:07,040 I mean, obviously, you've changed, I've changed... 416 00:13:07,130 --> 00:13:08,630 Kristen. 417 00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:10,300 My gosh. 418 00:13:10,380 --> 00:13:11,930 [chuckles] Oh, gosh. 419 00:13:11,970 --> 00:13:14,180 What? 420 00:13:14,270 --> 00:13:16,550 You didn't think that I was talking about you and me, 421 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,190 did you? 422 00:13:18,270 --> 00:13:19,640 No. [forced chuckle] 423 00:13:19,690 --> 00:13:21,610 I didn't. No. 424 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:23,640 'Cause I was talking about me and Billy and our history. 425 00:13:23,730 --> 00:13:25,190 Oh, that's right. You and Billy and your... 426 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:26,650 - Yeah, I know - Yeah. 427 00:13:26,700 --> 00:13:27,980 Because, Kristen, our relationship was... 428 00:13:28,070 --> 00:13:28,950 - Very special. - Toxic and dysfunctional. 429 00:13:28,980 --> 00:13:29,980 And dysfunctional. 430 00:13:35,910 --> 00:13:38,660 Seats in coach are just so difficult to sit in. 431 00:13:38,740 --> 00:13:41,080 [chuckles] 432 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:45,000 - Excuse me. - Sure. 433 00:13:45,050 --> 00:13:47,470 (Josh) I love the synergy of Mantle on the mantel. 434 00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:49,050 Yeah, Mantle... 435 00:13:49,140 --> 00:13:50,800 Well, that's a very rare piece, Josh. 436 00:13:50,890 --> 00:13:53,810 See, it's a softball game that we played in 1984. 437 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,310 Only uniform he wore that wasn't a Yankee uniform. 438 00:13:56,340 --> 00:13:57,890 That's why it's rare, and he signed it to me. 439 00:13:57,980 --> 00:13:59,010 - Oh, my God. - It's amazing to know him. 440 00:13:59,100 --> 00:14:00,350 - Oh, my God. - Yeah. 441 00:14:00,430 --> 00:14:02,150 Is that seriously signed by Babe Ruth? 442 00:14:02,180 --> 00:14:03,820 Yeah, it's a very rare ball, that ball. 443 00:14:03,850 --> 00:14:05,180 Josh, that's not a bare-hand ball. 444 00:14:05,270 --> 00:14:06,440 - I'm sorry. - No. No. No. 445 00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:07,400 - That's a white glove... - Billy! 446 00:14:07,490 --> 00:14:09,020 The oils on the hand... 447 00:14:09,110 --> 00:14:09,990 We're sitting in there with our thumbs up our asses 448 00:14:10,020 --> 00:14:11,690 waiting to get started. 449 00:14:11,740 --> 00:14:13,199 Come on, you know they always lose when we watch on delay. 450 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:14,874 - Let's do this. - I know. Will, Josh. Josh, Will. 451 00:14:14,875 --> 00:14:16,179 Of course, nice to meet you. 452 00:14:16,180 --> 00:14:17,984 Book of Mormon. I saw it twice. It costs me five grand. 453 00:14:17,985 --> 00:14:20,029 Come on. Let's do this. 454 00:14:20,030 --> 00:14:22,370 [coughing] Come on. Let's watch. 455 00:14:22,450 --> 00:14:23,670 Let's go. Come on. 456 00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:24,700 - Come on. - Hey. Come here. 457 00:14:24,790 --> 00:14:26,040 Do you ever just sit in here 458 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:27,420 and think to yourself, 459 00:14:27,510 --> 00:14:32,010 "My God, I am Billy Crystal"? 460 00:14:32,050 --> 00:14:33,130 Not really. No. 461 00:14:33,210 --> 00:14:34,600 - Never? - No. 462 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:36,050 - That's surprising. - Can we go? 463 00:14:36,100 --> 00:14:38,129 - Sure. - It's game time. Let's go. 464 00:14:38,130 --> 00:14:40,153 Whatever you need. We have food and everything you'd want. 465 00:14:40,154 --> 00:14:41,220 (Josh) Ooh, I'd love food. 466 00:14:41,270 --> 00:14:42,690 Lesbian Iron Chef, 467 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:44,560 that was hilarious at the table read. 468 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,110 No. Billy killed that. Remember? 469 00:14:46,190 --> 00:14:47,890 He said people wouldn't buy a guy in a dress 470 00:14:47,980 --> 00:14:51,280 and a... wig. 471 00:14:51,370 --> 00:14:52,400 (Jamie) Okay. 472 00:14:52,450 --> 00:14:55,150 How about... Bobo Hemsworth, 473 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:56,570 Good Cop, Desk Cop, 474 00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:58,540 Germophobic Barbarian... 475 00:14:58,570 --> 00:14:59,790 That's the pile they already threw out. 476 00:14:59,870 --> 00:15:01,910 Oh, come on. Jesus Christ! 477 00:15:01,990 --> 00:15:05,160 Billy said he's sick of Jesus Christ. 478 00:15:05,250 --> 00:15:06,630 Hey, Esme? 479 00:15:06,710 --> 00:15:08,580 - Mm-hmm? - Should we get some pizza? 480 00:15:08,630 --> 00:15:12,130 Yes. Pizza sounds amazing. [phone ringing] 481 00:15:12,140 --> 00:15:13,920 Hey, girl. 482 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,670 (Esme) What's up? 483 00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:17,890 Hey, Esme? Should we get some pizza? 484 00:15:17,930 --> 00:15:19,060 Yeah, um, 485 00:15:19,090 --> 00:15:20,640 I like gluten-free crust, 486 00:15:20,730 --> 00:15:23,100 but, like, whatever you guys want is fine. 487 00:15:23,180 --> 00:15:26,350 Ugh. Nothing. Just at work. What are you doing? 488 00:15:26,430 --> 00:15:28,020 - No. Don't foul him. - Ooh! 489 00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:29,940 Horrible call! Horrible call! 490 00:15:29,990 --> 00:15:30,990 His feet weren't set. 491 00:15:31,070 --> 00:15:32,600 The refs are killing us here. 492 00:15:32,660 --> 00:15:34,360 It's because we're watching on delay, Billy. 493 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:36,660 I know, Ray. I know. I'm sorry. Sorry. 494 00:15:36,740 --> 00:15:38,190 (Joe) You missed the ring of condensation. 495 00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:39,080 You need to put it in the middle. 496 00:15:39,110 --> 00:15:40,500 Joe, it's in the ring. 497 00:15:40,580 --> 00:15:41,660 Please put it in the ring right there. 498 00:15:41,750 --> 00:15:43,870 - Hey! - It's in the ring. 499 00:15:43,950 --> 00:15:46,450 Basketball! Playoffs! Ah! Sorry about that. 500 00:15:46,540 --> 00:15:47,620 I was on the phone with my agent. 501 00:15:47,670 --> 00:15:49,040 - Shh. - What does it matter? 502 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:49,960 He's gonna hit both free throws. 503 00:15:50,010 --> 00:15:51,510 Durant never misses. 504 00:15:51,590 --> 00:15:52,920 By the way, dinner tonight was absolutely exceptional. 505 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:54,290 Good. 506 00:15:54,350 --> 00:15:55,260 Your personal chef is an artist. 507 00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:56,880 Yeah, Alain's fantastic. 508 00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:58,130 First time anyone sent something back to him. 509 00:15:58,220 --> 00:15:59,300 Yeah, but I'm glad you enjoyed it. 510 00:15:59,380 --> 00:16:00,630 That's what I'm talking about. 511 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:01,850 When he did it with the sauce on the side, 512 00:16:01,940 --> 00:16:03,140 it just suddenly popped... 513 00:16:03,190 --> 00:16:04,690 Josh, come on. We got free throws here. 514 00:16:04,770 --> 00:16:06,470 - Come on. - Come on. 515 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,190 Yikesy-doodles. 516 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:09,730 - Not there! - Don't sit there! 517 00:16:09,810 --> 00:16:11,110 - Whoa. - What are you doing? 518 00:16:11,150 --> 00:16:12,860 You sat there the Clips were on their run. 519 00:16:12,950 --> 00:16:14,560 You sat there. Sit there. 520 00:16:14,650 --> 00:16:16,400 Because where I sit determines the outcome of the game? 521 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,070 - Yeah. Yeah. - Oh, look. We're winning. 522 00:16:18,150 --> 00:16:19,450 We're winning. We're losing. 523 00:16:19,490 --> 00:16:20,490 Touchdown! 524 00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:22,150 Billy, control your boy. 525 00:16:22,210 --> 00:16:23,540 Whoa, Ray, Ray, Ray. 526 00:16:23,620 --> 00:16:24,740 (Josh) You see the look in his eyes? 527 00:16:24,830 --> 00:16:25,990 - I almost shit myself. - No, no. 528 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:28,080 Sugar just turned to spice. [growls] 529 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:29,489 Go sit, Josh. 530 00:16:29,490 --> 00:16:30,480 Thought he was gonna come out of retirement. 531 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:31,475 Josh. Sit down. 532 00:16:31,476 --> 00:16:33,472 - Sit down and watch the game. - Okay. Wait right there. 533 00:16:33,473 --> 00:16:35,401 - You're being serious. - Yeah. Oh, yeah. 534 00:16:35,402 --> 00:16:37,299 This play happened like 10 minutes ago. 535 00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:38,750 (Will) Sure did! 536 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:40,010 - This guy's killing us. - I know. I know. 537 00:16:40,090 --> 00:16:41,670 Billy, commercial. Fast-forward. 538 00:16:41,730 --> 00:16:43,010 Okay. Hey, listen, we're up five. 539 00:16:43,090 --> 00:16:44,260 Seven minutes to go. We're gonna be okay. 540 00:16:44,340 --> 00:16:45,180 (Josh) Quick question. 541 00:16:45,260 --> 00:16:47,060 Who is Chris Paul, 542 00:16:47,150 --> 00:16:49,350 and would it be a bad thing if he were severely injured? 543 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:50,900 That's a bad joke. 544 00:16:50,980 --> 00:16:51,930 - Get him out. Get him out. - No, no, no. 545 00:16:52,020 --> 00:16:53,240 No, I'm dead serious, Billy. 546 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:54,850 - That's not cool! - Easy. 547 00:16:54,940 --> 00:16:56,320 - It's not cool, man! - I know it'cool. 548 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:57,440 Josh, would you just, please, sit there, 549 00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:59,020 don't talk, even in jest, 550 00:16:59,110 --> 00:17:00,610 don't say anything about the game, okay? 551 00:17:00,690 --> 00:17:01,580 I was just trying to fit in with all these legends 552 00:17:01,660 --> 00:17:03,330 and Will Sasso. 553 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:06,700 - It's okay. - It's not okay. All right. 554 00:17:06,780 --> 00:17:09,870 I, um, I'm gonna go use the bathroom. 555 00:17:09,950 --> 00:17:12,670 [indistinct chatter] 556 00:17:12,710 --> 00:17:16,009 We're back. We're back. We're back. 557 00:17:16,010 --> 00:17:19,880 Didn't see this on the tour. 558 00:17:19,930 --> 00:17:22,460 Let's see what's in here. 559 00:17:22,550 --> 00:17:24,380 - Ahh! - Oh, my God, Mrs. Crystal! 560 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:25,930 - I'm so sorry! - Close the door! 561 00:17:26,020 --> 00:17:27,390 - Close the door! - I'm s... I'm sorry. 562 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:29,220 God! God! 563 00:17:29,270 --> 00:17:32,060 [basketball game in background] 564 00:17:33,882 --> 00:17:36,350 Sorry I got to split before the end of the, uh... 565 00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:37,860 - The guys understand. - Yeah. 566 00:17:37,940 --> 00:17:39,140 I just got this thing in The Valley... 567 00:17:39,230 --> 00:17:41,020 Yeah, completely. Don't worry about it. 568 00:17:41,110 --> 00:17:42,690 Tell all the guys that I had so much fun with them. 569 00:17:42,780 --> 00:17:43,860 I'll do that. 570 00:17:43,950 --> 00:17:45,480 - And "Ahlan"... - Alain. Alain. 571 00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:47,450 Alain, please tell Alain that dinner was exceptional. 572 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:48,480 Yeah, sauce on the side. 573 00:17:48,570 --> 00:17:50,030 Sauce on the side. 574 00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:51,790 So I'll see you. All right. 575 00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:53,450 And Julie, would you... 576 00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,620 Josh, 577 00:17:55,660 --> 00:17:56,660 it is what it is, all right? 578 00:17:56,710 --> 00:17:58,589 It is what it is. 579 00:17:58,590 --> 00:18:00,133 - So, I'll see you tomorrow. - See you tomorrow. 580 00:18:01,834 --> 00:18:04,169 That sounded exciting . 581 00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:05,800 Okay. 582 00:18:05,830 --> 00:18:07,170 (Billy) Tell me what happened! 583 00:18:09,390 --> 00:18:12,310 I [bleep] up. 584 00:18:12,340 --> 00:18:13,510 Ahh. 585 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:14,760 [engine turns over] 586 00:18:18,650 --> 00:18:21,770 Well, at least Josh got the full tour. 587 00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:27,100 (Mitch) Hey, so you're still learning, 588 00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:29,990 so it's no harm, no foul, 589 00:18:30,030 --> 00:18:33,530 um, but when I say things like "Hey, we should do a coffee run" 590 00:18:33,610 --> 00:18:36,280 or "We should get pizza," 591 00:18:36,370 --> 00:18:40,120 what that means is that you should do a coffee run 592 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:43,040 and you should get pizza. 593 00:18:43,090 --> 00:18:46,090 Right? 594 00:18:47,380 --> 00:18:50,210 [indistinct conversations] 595 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:08,280 [indistinct conversations] 596 00:19:17,870 --> 00:19:19,820 (Jamie) I can't do it, Kristen. I'm done. 597 00:19:19,910 --> 00:19:22,130 - You're quitting? - Yes. I'm sorry. 598 00:19:22,210 --> 00:19:23,710 I'm really sorry, Kristen, 599 00:19:23,750 --> 00:19:25,250 it's just that I've been through too much, 600 00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:29,220 I've come too far to subject myself to this bullshit. 601 00:19:29,250 --> 00:19:31,420 You know? I've got my ranch in Wyoming. 602 00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:33,420 I've got my GHOSTPARENTS III money, 603 00:19:33,470 --> 00:19:35,970 so life is too short. 604 00:19:36,060 --> 00:19:37,840 What are you gonna tell Billy? 605 00:19:37,930 --> 00:19:41,730 Some combination of the truth and... 606 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:43,260 not the truth. 607 00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:45,520 - [chuckles] - Yeah. [mutters] 608 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:47,520 I am really sorry this didn't work out. 609 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:48,600 Really okay. 610 00:19:48,690 --> 00:19:49,990 It's okay, and guess what. 611 00:19:50,070 --> 00:19:51,610 It's actually... It's better. 612 00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:52,660 It's better this way. 613 00:19:52,740 --> 00:19:54,270 And also, I... 614 00:19:54,330 --> 00:19:56,190 I got a chance to see you. 615 00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:57,610 [chuckles] 616 00:19:57,700 --> 00:19:58,950 So... 617 00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:05,670 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 618 00:20:05,750 --> 00:20:06,790 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 619 00:20:06,870 --> 00:20:08,960 Ah! God! 620 00:20:09,010 --> 00:20:10,170 Oh, I did not mean to do that. 621 00:20:10,260 --> 00:20:11,880 - I'm... - It's okay. 622 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,169 - I just... I don't... - No, no. I... 623 00:20:14,170 --> 00:20:15,476 - I did not mean to do that. - It's okay. 624 00:20:15,477 --> 00:20:17,469 - I'm just gonna... - I don't... I don't. 625 00:20:17,470 --> 00:20:20,099 I'm just gonna go. See, I got that thing. I'm so sorry... 626 00:20:20,100 --> 00:20:20,470 Mhmm. 627 00:20:20,471 --> 00:20:22,270 - Oh, God! - Okay. 628 00:20:22,300 --> 00:20:24,020 (Jamie) I mean, I know you went to bat for me, 629 00:20:24,110 --> 00:20:25,640 and I'm incredibly grateful, 630 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,030 but you don't want somebody taking care of your baby 631 00:20:28,110 --> 00:20:30,190 who's not 100% passionate. 632 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:31,480 No, no, no. 633 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:32,650 You definitely want passion for the baby 634 00:20:32,730 --> 00:20:34,150 in a director or a nanny. 635 00:20:34,230 --> 00:20:35,320 [both chuckle] That's right. 636 00:20:35,370 --> 00:20:36,900 Well, that's the point. 637 00:20:36,990 --> 00:20:38,790 I mean, I can't be a director and a nanny. 638 00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:40,070 I get it. 639 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,040 Get it. 640 00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:44,660 Hate to see you go, Jamie. 641 00:20:44,740 --> 00:20:47,160 I hate to go. 642 00:20:47,210 --> 00:20:49,410 All right, well, 643 00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:51,920 now that we're no longer working together, 644 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,000 can I speak to you as a friend? 645 00:20:53,050 --> 00:20:54,720 - Of course. - Okay. 646 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:56,840 - You and Josh... - Oh, I know. 647 00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:58,640 - I mean... - I know. I know. 648 00:20:58,670 --> 00:21:01,390 I'll... I'll make it work. 649 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,010 Okay. I know you will. 650 00:21:04,100 --> 00:21:06,150 Well, take care of yourself. 651 00:21:06,180 --> 00:21:08,400 You look great. 652 00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:09,770 So do you. 653 00:21:09,850 --> 00:21:12,270 Thank you. 654 00:21:12,350 --> 00:21:13,520 All right. 655 00:21:17,690 --> 00:21:19,030 Nice tits. 656 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:19,940 (Jamie) You too. 657 00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:20,910 [laughs] 658 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,530 [door opens and closes] 659 00:22:19,290 --> 00:22:21,840 - It's an amazing show. - It's unbelievable. 660 00:22:21,890 --> 00:22:23,449 Somebody said... People... You know, "Have you not... 661 00:22:23,450 --> 00:22:24,645 You've never seen Breaking Bad?" 662 00:22:24,646 --> 00:22:25,669 No, so I... 663 00:22:25,670 --> 00:22:27,189 So we watch the pilot. 664 00:22:27,190 --> 00:22:28,529 It's astounding. 665 00:22:28,530 --> 00:22:29,652 In the underwear? 666 00:22:29,653 --> 00:22:30,590 It's crazy. 667 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:33,305 - He is so good. - So we start binge-watching. 668 00:22:33,306 --> 00:22:36,169 Five years in, like, four days, 669 00:22:36,170 --> 00:22:39,619 - and now we're up to the finale. - When he dies? 670 00:22:39,620 --> 00:22:42,619 How crazy is that? 671 00:22:42,620 --> 00:22:44,329 Right? 672 00:22:44,330 --> 00:22:48,330 ?Synced & Corrected by Seppuku17? ?www.addic7ed.com? 673 00:22:48,380 --> 00:22:52,930 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 47216

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