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1
00:00:01,211 --> 00:00:03,512
[Bird cries]
2
00:00:08,686 --> 00:00:10,981
Huey: In retrospect, it
really was my fault.
3
00:00:10,981 --> 00:00:17,658
Granddad: [Screaming]
4
00:00:17,658 --> 00:00:19,576
Riley: This is all your
fault, Granddad.
5
00:00:19,576 --> 00:00:21,911
If we die,
I ain't never gonna forgive you.
6
00:00:21,911 --> 00:00:23,378
Granddad: Please, don't turn over! Aah!
7
00:00:26,281 --> 00:00:29,511
[All panting]
Huey: [Grunts]
8
00:00:31,087 --> 00:00:32,784
Granddad: Oh, no.
What are we gonna do?
9
00:00:33,797 --> 00:00:35,459
[Grunts]
10
00:00:35,676 --> 00:00:38,257
- Riley: First thing you need to do is get some clothes on.
- Granddad: [Groans]
11
00:00:43,820 --> 00:00:46,299
All right, think. We got to
think about what we're gonna do.
12
00:00:46,299 --> 00:00:48,197
Huey, what do we do?
13
00:00:48,971 --> 00:00:51,533
Huey: We go home. This way.
14
00:00:51,533 --> 00:00:52,513
Granddad: What home?
15
00:00:52,513 --> 00:00:56,867
We have no home. We have
no future. We have nothing!
16
00:00:59,702 --> 00:01:00,978
[Inhales deeply]
17
00:01:08,286 --> 00:01:10,302
[Sirens wailing in distance]
18
00:01:10,338 --> 00:01:11,467
Huey: Granddad!
19
00:01:11,467 --> 00:01:13,535
Granddad: [Coughing]
20
00:01:14,281 --> 00:01:15,909
Huey: Granddad, come on.
21
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:19,707
Granddad: Nope. This is it.
End of the road for me.
22
00:01:19,707 --> 00:01:22,297
Huey: Granddad, we don't have
time for this. They're coming.
23
00:01:22,297 --> 00:01:23,953
Granddad: You guys go.
I'm not coming.
24
00:01:23,953 --> 00:01:27,061
I'm going to stand in the
middle of the road in my drawers
25
00:01:27,061 --> 00:01:29,549
with this gun [Gun cocks]
until the man comes.
26
00:01:29,761 --> 00:01:32,481
Then I'm gonna go out like a
[Bleep] G!
27
00:01:33,750 --> 00:01:37,822
Riley: Granddad! You look real gay.
28
00:01:39,214 --> 00:01:43,400
Synced by emmasan
www.addic7ed.com
29
00:02:12,162 --> 00:02:14,048
***
30
00:02:21,538 --> 00:02:22,818
[Door opens]
31
00:02:23,531 --> 00:02:26,201
Granddad: [Coughs]
Boy, what the hell you doing in here?
32
00:02:26,201 --> 00:02:29,925
Huey: I told you... I'm working
with very unstable material.
33
00:02:30,301 --> 00:02:31,649
It would help if you would knock.
34
00:02:31,649 --> 00:02:33,248
Granddad: It would help me if
you shut the hell up.
35
00:02:33,435 --> 00:02:35,623
I have that appointment
with the financial planner,
36
00:02:35,799 --> 00:02:37,538
and you're both coming with me.
37
00:02:37,538 --> 00:02:38,919
Huey: Man, why we have to go?
38
00:02:39,119 --> 00:02:40,589
Granddad: Now that our
situation has changed,
39
00:02:40,589 --> 00:02:42,252
we need to start thinking
like white people...
40
00:02:42,252 --> 00:02:43,084
all of us.
41
00:02:43,084 --> 00:02:45,536
Huey: I told you I have to
finish my chemistry project.
42
00:02:45,536 --> 00:02:47,635
Granddad: Are you sure you're
just doing a chemistry project
43
00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:49,417
and not making no bombs?
44
00:02:49,417 --> 00:02:53,408
Huey: Yes, Granddad. I swear.
I'm not making a bomb.
45
00:02:53,408 --> 00:02:54,575
Granddad: What is that...
46
00:02:54,814 --> 00:02:56,444
That pink stuff right there?
47
00:02:56,444 --> 00:02:58,603
Isn't that what terrorists
put up their Booty hole,
48
00:02:58,603 --> 00:03:01,495
then they put a match up their Booty
hole to blow up the whole plane?
49
00:03:01,495 --> 00:03:04,318
You'd better not be making no
Booty-hole bombs around here.
50
00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:05,838
Huey: It's not a bomb, Granddad.
51
00:03:05,838 --> 00:03:08,151
It's... wave cream.
52
00:03:08,151 --> 00:03:10,342
I've been thinking about
going with the Billy Dee look.
53
00:03:11,575 --> 00:03:15,044
Granddad: Good. About time.
Come on. Let's go.
54
00:03:18,563 --> 00:03:20,786
Don't hold back.
Give it to me straight.
55
00:03:20,786 --> 00:03:23,856
I've been giving it to you
straight for a half-hour, Mr. Freeman.
56
00:03:23,856 --> 00:03:27,449
According to this, every one of
your credit cards is maxed out.
57
00:03:27,449 --> 00:03:30,267
You're broke.
You've got zip, zero, zilch.
58
00:03:30,267 --> 00:03:32,219
I'd say you have six months
59
00:03:32,219 --> 00:03:35,039
before you and your grandchildren
are homeless and starving.
60
00:03:35,290 --> 00:03:37,878
Do you really need cable,
high-speed Internet?
61
00:03:37,878 --> 00:03:39,726
I see a lot of money on restaurants.
62
00:03:39,726 --> 00:03:41,314
Riley: We don't go to restaurants.
63
00:03:41,314 --> 00:03:44,305
That's Granddad going out on
dates and feeding bitches again.
64
00:03:44,639 --> 00:03:47,991
You'll probably also need to
cut electricity, water.
65
00:03:47,991 --> 00:03:50,412
How many kidneys do you have,
Mr. Freeman?
66
00:03:51,060 --> 00:03:53,973
Do you have any friends who
traffic in drugs?
67
00:03:54,366 --> 00:03:57,517
Can you think of any way to make
some quick money?
68
00:03:58,514 --> 00:04:01,236
Mr. Freeman? Mr. Freeman?
69
00:04:01,874 --> 00:04:03,543
[Rapping]
Want to unh
70
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:07,054
Like we having sex
Baby, grab your ankles
71
00:04:07,437 --> 00:04:08,806
You know what's next
72
00:04:09,885 --> 00:04:12,617
Ruckus: [Laughs]
Look at that.
73
00:04:12,617 --> 00:04:15,399
Oh, how the high yellow shall be last,
74
00:04:15,399 --> 00:04:18,257
and the last shall be high
yellow.
75
00:04:18,503 --> 00:04:21,067
Granddad: Leave me alone, Ruckus.
I'm working as fast as I can.
76
00:04:21,067 --> 00:04:21,993
Ruckus: Ah, yeah, nigga.
77
00:04:21,993 --> 00:04:24,476
Oh, this ain't nothing like the
movie "Car Wash," is it, nigga?
78
00:04:24,476 --> 00:04:26,328
Oh, no. Unh-unh. Unh-unh. Unh-unh.
79
00:04:26,328 --> 00:04:30,245
Ain't no singing, no dancing,
no Richard Pryor... nothing.
80
00:04:30,577 --> 00:04:34,003
Oh, by the way, that lazy
Mexican sumbitch chico canceled,
81
00:04:34,003 --> 00:04:36,101
and I need you to stay till
closing time.
82
00:04:36,101 --> 00:04:37,435
Granddad: But I had plans tonight.
83
00:04:37,435 --> 00:04:40,730
Ruckus: Plans? Plans?
Ain't no nigga make no plans!
84
00:04:40,894 --> 00:04:43,654
Niggas just react to outside stimuli.
85
00:04:43,654 --> 00:04:45,245
Now, I got some plans, too.
86
00:04:45,245 --> 00:04:47,417
I plan to keep your black ass here.
87
00:04:48,512 --> 00:04:49,939
Granddad: Sumbitch!
88
00:04:51,682 --> 00:04:53,391
Riley: You heard that man, Granddad.
89
00:04:53,567 --> 00:04:56,214
We don't have the finances
to be feeding these bitches.
90
00:04:56,214 --> 00:04:58,193
Granddad: Everything's fine.
It's not that bad.
91
00:04:58,366 --> 00:04:59,723
It's just one dinner.
92
00:05:00,998 --> 00:05:04,562
Riley: Huey! Granddad's
taking bitches out to eat again!
93
00:05:05,045 --> 00:05:06,610
Granddad:
Going on a hot date
94
00:05:06,781 --> 00:05:11,747
Hot date, hot date.
Going on a hot date
95
00:05:11,747 --> 00:05:14,778
Hot...
Aw, damn it.
96
00:05:14,778 --> 00:05:16,485
I'm out of Nap-B-Gone!
97
00:05:16,677 --> 00:05:19,492
I might still have time
to run to the store.
98
00:05:20,293 --> 00:05:21,635
Riley: No way, Granddad.
99
00:05:21,635 --> 00:05:23,653
We ain't got no money for wave gel.
100
00:05:23,818 --> 00:05:25,955
You ain't got enough hair to worry about,
noway.
101
00:05:27,066 --> 00:05:28,522
[Ding!]
102
00:05:35,518 --> 00:05:38,948
Granddad: Ahh.
Pretty boy. Player.
103
00:05:39,376 --> 00:05:43,176
[Cellphone vibrates, rings]
104
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,418
[Cellphone beeps] Hey, cutie pie.
Sorry for the late date.
105
00:05:45,418 --> 00:05:48,331
My, uh, corner office was
packed full of meetings.
106
00:05:48,485 --> 00:05:50,632
Um, anyway, you all set for tonight?
107
00:05:50,632 --> 00:05:54,464
Where you want to go, baby?
Mr. Chin's?
108
00:05:54,464 --> 00:05:57,273
That... I, uh, don't really like
Chinese food.
109
00:05:57,615 --> 00:05:59,273
Hey. Here's an idea.
110
00:05:59,273 --> 00:06:03,381
Why don't we skip the fancy
dinner and just do something... free?
111
00:06:03,381 --> 00:06:05,715
You know,
like watch a movie on basic cable,
112
00:06:05,715 --> 00:06:09,292
pop some popcorn,
make some ramen noodles!
113
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:12,562
Well, you see, to be honest, I'm
a little short on cash.
114
00:06:12,562 --> 00:06:14,077
[Click, dial tone]
115
00:06:14,077 --> 00:06:16,174
Hello? Hello?
116
00:06:16,390 --> 00:06:17,224
[Cellphone beeps]
117
00:06:17,224 --> 00:06:19,903
Riley: Whew. That was a close one.
118
00:06:19,903 --> 00:06:21,023
What's for dinner?
119
00:06:21,023 --> 00:06:22,730
Granddad: It's just not fair.
120
00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:26,342
Truth is your granddaddy has
always had a hard time with women.
121
00:06:26,532 --> 00:06:29,552
I'm not very fit.
I'm not very funny.
122
00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:32,055
I'm not particularly
good at conversation.
123
00:06:32,055 --> 00:06:33,560
Lord knows I'm not good in bed.
124
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,357
But I had money,
and as long as I had money,
125
00:06:36,751 --> 00:06:39,737
I could have a moderately
satisfying sex life.
126
00:06:39,737 --> 00:06:41,009
Riley: Ugh.
127
00:06:41,783 --> 00:06:43,057
Granddad: No more.
128
00:06:45,078 --> 00:06:50,729
[Snoring]
129
00:06:51,296 --> 00:06:55,343
[Alarm beeping]
[Snoring stops]
130
00:06:58,138 --> 00:06:58,943
[Beeping stops]
131
00:06:58,943 --> 00:07:00,905
[Groans]
132
00:07:07,205 --> 00:07:09,273
[Gasps]
133
00:07:09,786 --> 00:07:11,515
[Doorbell rings]
134
00:07:14,775 --> 00:07:16,159
Well, did you try it?
135
00:07:22,888 --> 00:07:24,799
[Chuckles] We're gonna be rich.
136
00:07:26,050 --> 00:07:27,662
Tom: Yeah,
my hair's so silky smooth.
137
00:07:27,662 --> 00:07:28,384
Riley: I like your hair.
138
00:07:28,418 --> 00:07:30,387
It's like you kind of got that
J. Lo thing going on...
139
00:07:30,627 --> 00:07:32,498
you know, kind of like the white girls.
140
00:07:33,577 --> 00:07:35,208
I like that. I like that.
It's pretty hot.
141
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:38,002
Jazmine: I'm the most
beautiful girl in the world.
142
00:07:38,349 --> 00:07:41,074
Tom: [Chuckles] I'm
so happy for you, Robert!
143
00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:44,666
This is gonna revolutionize
the whole black-hair-care industry.
144
00:07:44,666 --> 00:07:46,016
You're sitting on a gold mine.
145
00:07:46,016 --> 00:07:47,577
Granddad: Oh, thank you, Jesus.
146
00:07:47,577 --> 00:07:49,202
I always knew if I
pretended to believe in you,
147
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:50,407
it would pay off someday.
148
00:07:50,407 --> 00:07:51,536
Tom: So, what's the plan?
149
00:07:51,536 --> 00:07:53,283
Riley: Yeah, how do we get paid?
150
00:07:53,496 --> 00:07:54,368
Granddad: Uh...
151
00:07:54,625 --> 00:07:56,374
Tom: Now, now.
There's a lot that has to be done
152
00:07:56,374 --> 00:07:58,611
before you can bring
something like this to market.
153
00:07:58,611 --> 00:08:01,367
You need a business plan,
lawyers, distribution.
154
00:08:01,531 --> 00:08:03,243
How much more of this
stuff do you have?
155
00:08:03,243 --> 00:08:04,948
Granddad: I'm not sure.
I got it from huey.
156
00:08:04,948 --> 00:08:06,304
Tom: Well, where did he get it from?
157
00:08:06,304 --> 00:08:09,457
Huey: Hey, Granddad. Have you seen
that container of pink gel I was...
158
00:08:09,457 --> 00:08:11,549
Granddad: Hey, huey. How much more
of that wave cream do you have?
159
00:08:11,549 --> 00:08:12,886
Huey: Granddad, you didn't.
160
00:08:12,886 --> 00:08:13,989
Granddad: This wave cream you made
161
00:08:13,989 --> 00:08:16,427
is way more than just wave cream.
162
00:08:16,427 --> 00:08:19,028
It grows hair overnight.
163
00:08:19,028 --> 00:08:20,291
Huey: It does what?
164
00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:21,811
Granddad: It grows hair...
165
00:08:21,987 --> 00:08:25,085
Long, straight, beautiful hair.
166
00:08:25,085 --> 00:08:28,860
Huey: Granddad, that was a highly
explosive compound for a bomb.
167
00:08:28,860 --> 00:08:30,039
Both: A bomb?!
168
00:08:31,216 --> 00:08:32,862
Granddad: But you told me
it wasn't a bomb.
169
00:08:32,862 --> 00:08:35,572
You specifically said
it was not [belt cracks] A bomb!
170
00:08:35,572 --> 00:08:38,508
- Huey: [Grunts]
- Granddad: Boy, come here! Come here!
171
00:08:38,508 --> 00:08:39,434
You want to make a bomb?
172
00:08:39,434 --> 00:08:41,587
I'm gonna bomb your
narrow ass with this belt.
173
00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:44,952
Huey: You got to wash that
out right now... all of you.
174
00:08:44,952 --> 00:08:45,680
Jazmine: [Screams]
175
00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:48,805
No!
You'll never take my hair! No!
176
00:08:48,805 --> 00:08:50,329
Tom: Mine, either! [Door closes]
177
00:08:50,329 --> 00:08:52,626
Granddad: Damn it, boy, why
do you have to ruin everything?
178
00:08:52,626 --> 00:08:54,022
What are you making bombs for?
179
00:08:54,022 --> 00:08:56,569
Huey: To kill Ed Wuncler II
and get our freedom back.
180
00:08:57,003 --> 00:08:58,106
Granddad: That's your plan?
181
00:08:58,106 --> 00:09:01,131
You know, for a smart nigga,
you come up with some dumb-ass plans.
182
00:09:01,292 --> 00:09:03,928
Now, how much of that bomb
wave cream do you have?
183
00:09:03,928 --> 00:09:07,878
Riley: Hey, that should be
the name... "Bomb wave cream."
184
00:09:07,878 --> 00:09:09,269
Granddad: Good idea.
185
00:09:09,269 --> 00:09:10,522
Write it down before we forget.
186
00:09:10,522 --> 00:09:11,529
Huey: Did you not hear me?
187
00:09:11,746 --> 00:09:14,137
One spark, and heads could
actually explode.
188
00:09:14,422 --> 00:09:15,921
Riley: "Bomb wave cream...
189
00:09:15,921 --> 00:09:18,074
an explosion of beautiful hair."
190
00:09:18,074 --> 00:09:21,134
Granddad: Ohh. I like that.
191
00:09:21,277 --> 00:09:23,150
Huey: Granddad, you're gonna
kill people.
192
00:09:23,150 --> 00:09:24,533
Granddad:
We'll put a warning label on it...
193
00:09:24,753 --> 00:09:26,475
"Warning,
flammable."
194
00:09:26,827 --> 00:09:28,735
Moral dilemma solved.
195
00:09:29,506 --> 00:09:31,090
Riley: Solved, nigga.
196
00:09:35,490 --> 00:09:36,647
Huey: Hey, stop!
197
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:40,014
Granddad: Get off me!
I need it! I need it!
198
00:09:46,781 --> 00:09:50,912
Don't you see, Huey?
This... this is our freedom.
199
00:09:52,450 --> 00:09:54,477
Huey: I agreed to help
granddad find a buyer
200
00:09:54,647 --> 00:09:56,478
if he agreed to wash his hair.
201
00:09:57,447 --> 00:09:58,826
This is Boss Willona,
202
00:09:59,013 --> 00:10:01,748
proprietor of a black beauty
salon we found on yelp.
203
00:10:01,933 --> 00:10:05,399
Supposedly, she knew everything
there was about black beauty products,
204
00:10:05,399 --> 00:10:09,368
although I started to suspect her
operation might not be completely legit.
205
00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:11,830
This is a tough business.
206
00:10:11,830 --> 00:10:13,728
Normally, I try to talk people out of it,
207
00:10:14,372 --> 00:10:19,845
but you guys... you got
something special, very special.
208
00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:22,265
This isn't just hair relaxer.
209
00:10:22,265 --> 00:10:23,627
This is art.
210
00:10:23,627 --> 00:10:26,347
You niggas are some real artists.
211
00:10:26,724 --> 00:10:29,933
We used your gel on the left
half of Hot Chocolate's hair.
212
00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:31,190
Bitches be hatin'.
213
00:10:33,271 --> 00:10:35,856
This is better than white-bitch
hair.
214
00:10:36,224 --> 00:10:39,936
This is damn near
virgin-Cambodian-bitch quality.
215
00:10:39,936 --> 00:10:42,936
Granddad: So, I can presume you're interested
in placing an order, Ms. Willona?
216
00:10:43,796 --> 00:10:45,445
Boss Willona.
217
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:46,156
Granddad: Excuse me?
218
00:10:46,156 --> 00:10:48,229
I'm a businesswoman,
Mr. Freeman...
219
00:10:48,426 --> 00:10:51,985
An African-American entrepreneur.
220
00:10:52,182 --> 00:10:55,462
You don't think I've earned
the right to be called "Boss"?
221
00:10:55,462 --> 00:10:56,694
[Dog growls]
222
00:10:56,694 --> 00:10:58,798
Granddad: Huh?
I mean, yes, of course.
223
00:10:58,798 --> 00:11:00,444
You're the boss... Willona.
224
00:11:00,444 --> 00:11:02,290
[Chuckles]
225
00:11:10,146 --> 00:11:11,062
Whoa!
226
00:11:11,062 --> 00:11:13,489
Riley: All right, all right,
all ri-i-i-ght.
227
00:11:13,489 --> 00:11:15,599
I'll take all of it...
Whatever you got.
228
00:11:15,599 --> 00:11:18,297
Huey: Boss Willona, could I
advise my grandfather briefly?
229
00:11:20,944 --> 00:11:22,928
We need to get up out of here,
granddad.
230
00:11:22,928 --> 00:11:24,288
Granddad: Leave? Why?
231
00:11:25,414 --> 00:11:26,592
Huey: 'Cause they're
gangsters.
232
00:11:26,643 --> 00:11:28,396
Granddad: Gangster? Boy, that's ridiculous.
233
00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:30,700
Miss Boss Willona is a
pillar of the community.
234
00:11:31,136 --> 00:11:35,297
I assure you our operation is
entirely legitimate.
235
00:11:35,547 --> 00:11:38,663
Huey: Boss Willona, there's something
you should know about this stuff.
236
00:11:38,693 --> 00:11:39,937
Granddad: No, there isn't.
Boy, that's enough.
237
00:11:39,937 --> 00:11:41,953
Huey: No, Granddad,
I think we should tell them.
238
00:11:41,953 --> 00:11:43,763
Granddad: Don't listen to
him, Boss Lady Willona.
239
00:11:43,763 --> 00:11:46,400
Riley: Damn, Huey.
Why you got to ruin everything?
240
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:47,906
Huey: We got to tell them.
241
00:11:47,942 --> 00:11:49,897
It's our responsibility to tell
them, Granddad.
242
00:11:50,063 --> 00:11:51,127
Granddad: You drive me crazy, boy.
243
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:52,254
Riley: Man, Huey, I can't stand you.
244
00:11:52,254 --> 00:11:53,128
Tell us what?
245
00:11:53,128 --> 00:11:55,255
Huey: Boss Willona, this
stuff is dangerous.
246
00:11:55,255 --> 00:11:56,991
It's a highly explosive compound.
247
00:11:56,991 --> 00:11:59,763
Nobody should ever,
ever put this in their hair.
248
00:11:59,941 --> 00:12:02,057
Granddad: Damn it, boy.
I'm gonna beat your ass when we get home.
249
00:12:04,639 --> 00:12:07,297
[Laughs]
Explosive?
250
00:12:07,297 --> 00:12:10,478
You think them bitches
out there care about a little fire?
251
00:12:11,035 --> 00:12:13,544
This here will turn your brain green.
252
00:12:13,729 --> 00:12:15,523
This stuff has plutonium.
253
00:12:15,523 --> 00:12:17,670
This one here is acid.
254
00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:19,176
[Chuckles] Just acid.
255
00:12:19,591 --> 00:12:20,737
Don't you get it?
256
00:12:20,737 --> 00:12:23,406
These bitches would
put napalm on their hair
257
00:12:23,406 --> 00:12:24,676
if it would make it straight.
258
00:12:24,676 --> 00:12:26,435
Put a warning label on it.
259
00:12:29,343 --> 00:12:30,871
[Rapping]
Bomb!? Kaboom, niggas
260
00:12:30,871 --> 00:12:31,898
?it's the bomb right here?
261
00:12:31,898 --> 00:12:34,723
You bad-credit [Bleep]
shut up for seven years
262
00:12:34,971 --> 00:12:37,133
We cook it, we pack it,
we move it, we stack it
263
00:12:37,133 --> 00:12:38,476
We re-up, we flip it
264
00:12:38,476 --> 00:12:39,795
We all acrobatics
265
00:12:39,795 --> 00:12:41,105
You see us? Yeah, we up
266
00:12:41,105 --> 00:12:42,197
I know you mad at it
267
00:12:42,349 --> 00:12:44,820
We fiends like they be.
We all cash addicts
268
00:12:45,326 --> 00:12:47,275
Deal it to the hookers
that bang this [Bleep]
269
00:12:47,275 --> 00:12:49,789
We get it hand over fist like
some sign-language [Bleep]
270
00:12:49,995 --> 00:12:52,311
Honestly,
sometimes I get tired of this [Bleep]
271
00:12:52,311 --> 00:12:54,931
But it's hard to forget
how they line up for this [bleep]
272
00:12:55,106 --> 00:12:57,579
it ain't just crack, nigga.
Everything's a trap
273
00:12:57,764 --> 00:13:00,083
I cook dope verses
and serve hard raps
274
00:13:00,233 --> 00:13:01,573
Hustle this hooptie music
275
00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:02,624
You see me, son
276
00:13:02,624 --> 00:13:05,250
I'm a [Rat-tat-tat]
money machine gun
277
00:13:05,250 --> 00:13:07,476
Oh, my God, I'm never gonna
look like Beyonce?
278
00:13:07,616 --> 00:13:09,870
[Indistinct conversations]
279
00:13:15,064 --> 00:13:16,808
Granddad: [Grunts]
280
00:13:17,408 --> 00:13:19,358
So, you're just gonna sit there
and not help?
281
00:13:19,358 --> 00:13:21,774
Riley: That's okay.
He just don't get none of this money.
282
00:13:21,774 --> 00:13:23,695
Granddad: I understand, Huey.
283
00:13:23,894 --> 00:13:25,801
So many bad things has happened
to us.
284
00:13:25,801 --> 00:13:27,626
It's hard not to assume the worst.
285
00:13:27,969 --> 00:13:29,291
But don't you see?
286
00:13:29,291 --> 00:13:30,526
This time, it's different.
287
00:13:30,890 --> 00:13:33,474
This time, everything's gonna
work out perfectly.
288
00:13:35,263 --> 00:13:36,923
Next on "channel 11 news"...
289
00:13:37,086 --> 00:13:40,426
Could you have a bomb in your hair?
290
00:13:40,607 --> 00:13:43,684
We'll tell you which popular
African-American hair-care product
291
00:13:43,684 --> 00:13:46,838
contains a dangerously explosive chemical.
292
00:13:47,644 --> 00:13:49,209
Granddad: You think they mean us?
293
00:13:50,793 --> 00:13:53,872
The trouble started when two
women attempted to board a plane
294
00:13:53,902 --> 00:13:57,472
and were stopped after explosives
were detected on their person.
295
00:13:57,472 --> 00:13:58,927
Florida Beatrice Jackson and
296
00:13:58,927 --> 00:14:02,054
Taeshawndretta Brown were
detained for several hours
297
00:14:02,054 --> 00:14:04,743
before it was finally
discovered that their hair...
298
00:14:04,743 --> 00:14:07,203
Or more precisely, their hair relaxer...
299
00:14:07,203 --> 00:14:08,187
was the culprit.
300
00:14:08,187 --> 00:14:10,278
I know we look like a-rabs,
301
00:14:10,278 --> 00:14:12,756
all exotified and
whatnot with all this hair,
302
00:14:12,756 --> 00:14:14,464
but we ain't, okay?
303
00:14:14,464 --> 00:14:17,578
So, they need to go [Bleep]
with them actual a-rab [Bleep]
304
00:14:17,578 --> 00:14:19,398
and leave niggas the [Bleep] alone!
305
00:14:19,398 --> 00:14:23,063
The ironically named hair gel is
the hottest-selling on the market,
306
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:26,868
but experts claim a single jar
contains enough high explosives
307
00:14:26,868 --> 00:14:29,400
to destroy a small plane or a prius.
308
00:14:29,711 --> 00:14:32,118
Channel 11 obtained a
sample of the hair gel
309
00:14:32,118 --> 00:14:35,112
and placed it in the wig
you see on this mannequin.
310
00:14:37,584 --> 00:14:38,597
You can see for yourself
311
00:14:38,597 --> 00:14:41,722
the massive destructive
power of this product.
312
00:14:46,108 --> 00:14:48,114
Right Like White beauty shop,
313
00:14:48,114 --> 00:14:50,107
which said it had sold out of the product,
314
00:14:50,107 --> 00:14:52,067
claimed it would not be ordering any more
315
00:14:52,174 --> 00:14:54,941
but refused to disclose the
name of the manufacturer.
316
00:14:54,941 --> 00:14:56,375
Riley: See? No snitching.
317
00:14:56,375 --> 00:14:57,693
That's what I'm talking about.
318
00:14:57,693 --> 00:14:58,442
Granddad: Shush!
319
00:14:58,442 --> 00:15:00,039
Meanwhile, authorities are urging people
320
00:15:00,039 --> 00:15:02,059
who bought the product to call the police
321
00:15:02,059 --> 00:15:05,151
and their local bomb squad will
properly dispose of the gel.
322
00:15:05,206 --> 00:15:08,071
This afternoon, the state
legislature held an emergency session
323
00:15:08,071 --> 00:15:10,672
to make sale or
possession of the hair gel
324
00:15:10,672 --> 00:15:12,035
a terrorist offense,
325
00:15:12,035 --> 00:15:14,709
punishable by torture, indefinite rendition,
326
00:15:14,709 --> 00:15:17,122
and execution by drone strike.
327
00:15:17,122 --> 00:15:18,892
And they'll deserve it.
328
00:15:18,892 --> 00:15:20,095
Tim, back to you.
329
00:15:20,095 --> 00:15:22,700
Riley: Does this mean we
can't make no more money?
330
00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:23,901
Granddad: No, it's not over.
331
00:15:24,043 --> 00:15:25,583
We'll appeal, shift blame.
332
00:15:25,737 --> 00:15:26,671
They knew the risk.
333
00:15:26,671 --> 00:15:28,005
There was a warning label.
334
00:15:28,197 --> 00:15:29,605
Huey: Are you serious?
335
00:15:29,605 --> 00:15:31,822
[Cellphone vibrates, rings]
336
00:15:32,011 --> 00:15:33,225
Granddad: It's Willona.
337
00:15:35,155 --> 00:15:36,185
[Dog growls]
338
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:40,062
So, uh, I took the liberty of
returning your money.
339
00:15:40,219 --> 00:15:41,810
Hope there are no hard feelings.
340
00:15:42,987 --> 00:15:44,285
[Laughs]
341
00:15:44,285 --> 00:15:46,973
I don't want the money back, Robert.
342
00:15:47,151 --> 00:15:50,296
I want more gel... a lot more.
343
00:15:50,296 --> 00:15:51,409
Granddad: But, Boss Willona,
344
00:15:51,564 --> 00:15:55,643
bomb hair gel has been declared
a controlled substance.
345
00:15:55,910 --> 00:15:57,462
Selling more would be unthinkable.
346
00:15:57,462 --> 00:15:59,006
I don't believe it's the
government's right
347
00:15:59,006 --> 00:16:02,192
to tell black women they can't
have long, beautiful hair.
348
00:16:02,230 --> 00:16:03,016
Unh-unh.
349
00:16:03,051 --> 00:16:04,508
Or black men, either.
350
00:16:04,508 --> 00:16:06,319
Granddad: So, you don't care
that it's illegal?
351
00:16:06,979 --> 00:16:10,665
Just between us, my business
isn't entirely legitimate.
352
00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:12,255
Granddad: No!
353
00:16:13,205 --> 00:16:15,054
Huey: You shouldn't have
promised her more, Granddad.
354
00:16:15,054 --> 00:16:16,731
There is no way I'm making more.
355
00:16:16,731 --> 00:16:18,080
Granddad: Fine. We'll make it.
356
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:18,997
Riley: Yeah, yeah.
357
00:16:18,997 --> 00:16:20,133
We'll make it, nigga.
358
00:16:20,133 --> 00:16:22,816
You think you the only one in
this house who knows chemistry?
359
00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:23,742
Huey: Obviously.
360
00:16:23,742 --> 00:16:24,927
Granddad: Okay. Well, uh-huh.
361
00:16:24,927 --> 00:16:26,323
I got a little of the stuff left.
362
00:16:26,523 --> 00:16:27,946
I can send it to a lab. Yeah.
363
00:16:28,223 --> 00:16:29,616
That always works on TV.
364
00:16:29,616 --> 00:16:30,709
I'll get it analyzed.
365
00:16:30,709 --> 00:16:32,572
I'll make it myself.
How hard could it be?
366
00:16:32,572 --> 00:16:34,199
Riley: Analyzed, nigga.
367
00:16:37,813 --> 00:16:39,807
Huey: Even if you could
get the ingredients,
368
00:16:39,839 --> 00:16:41,496
you mix that stuff the wrong way,
369
00:16:41,496 --> 00:16:43,660
you'll blow up the whole
house with us in it.
370
00:16:43,660 --> 00:16:45,055
Granddad: Wuncler owns this house.
371
00:16:45,055 --> 00:16:46,200
I don't give a [Bleep].
372
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:47,560
Huey: Granddad, stop!
373
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:49,268
Granddad: You can help me do it safely
374
00:16:49,405 --> 00:16:51,833
or watch me blow this [Bleep] up.
375
00:16:51,833 --> 00:16:53,484
Riley: Your call, nigga.
376
00:16:55,621 --> 00:16:58,760
Huey: You two have to follow
my instructions exactly.
377
00:16:58,760 --> 00:16:59,350
Granddad: No problem.
378
00:16:59,350 --> 00:17:01,159
Riley: Okay, okay, Huey.
I see you.
379
00:17:01,159 --> 00:17:03,092
Maybe you ain't so gay after all.
380
00:17:03,247 --> 00:17:05,050
Huey: And we can't do it here.
381
00:17:05,945 --> 00:17:08,513
We need to set up somewhere
nobody will find it.
382
00:17:09,504 --> 00:17:10,672
[Bird cries]
383
00:17:10,672 --> 00:17:13,290
Riley: Ew. Couldn't you
have gotten something nicer?
384
00:17:13,290 --> 00:17:14,666
Granddad: We ain't taking it
to a car show.
385
00:17:14,666 --> 00:17:15,813
We're cooking hair relaxer.
386
00:17:16,003 --> 00:17:16,914
Will this work?
387
00:17:16,914 --> 00:17:18,461
Huey: Yeah. It'll work.
388
00:17:18,461 --> 00:17:19,789
Granddad: All right. Let's get to it.
389
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:21,359
Riley: Whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
390
00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:23,674
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
What you doing?
391
00:17:23,674 --> 00:17:25,820
Granddad: I can't have my
clothes smelling like this stuff.
392
00:17:25,990 --> 00:17:27,480
Riley: Yes, you can.
393
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,505
Hey, I ain't getting in there
until he put on some clothes.
394
00:17:30,505 --> 00:17:32,345
Granddad: Shut up.
Let's get to it.
395
00:17:33,163 --> 00:17:36,033
Riley: Why he always finding
excuses to get naked, Huey?
396
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:39,708
It's gay. Even worse, it's homosexual.
397
00:17:47,599 --> 00:17:48,654
Granddad: [Sighs]
398
00:18:03,731 --> 00:18:04,865
Huey: Well, what now?
399
00:18:05,637 --> 00:18:07,140
Granddad: Now we call
Boss Willona.
400
00:18:16,562 --> 00:18:18,551
So, this is where you make it?
401
00:18:18,868 --> 00:18:19,930
Smart.
402
00:18:20,075 --> 00:18:21,845
Nobody will ever find this.
403
00:18:22,011 --> 00:18:24,369
And everything you need
is right in there, huh?
404
00:18:25,462 --> 00:18:26,924
[Guns cock]
405
00:18:26,924 --> 00:18:28,483
Granddad: Aah!
406
00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:29,967
Riley: Aw, man.
407
00:18:29,967 --> 00:18:31,682
Why didn't we think to bring no gun?
408
00:18:31,682 --> 00:18:33,515
Don't take this personal, guys.
409
00:18:33,515 --> 00:18:36,112
I'm a businesswoman.
It's just business.
410
00:18:36,112 --> 00:18:37,951
Riley: I'ma get shot by a gay dude.
411
00:18:38,155 --> 00:18:39,520
How embarrassing.
412
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:40,872
Granddad: What? What do you want?
413
00:18:41,417 --> 00:18:42,551
The formula.
414
00:18:42,551 --> 00:18:44,034
Teach us how to make it.
415
00:18:48,089 --> 00:18:49,430
Mwah!
416
00:18:49,605 --> 00:18:51,199
Riley: Ugh. [Gags]
417
00:18:51,199 --> 00:18:52,427
Toodles.
418
00:19:01,293 --> 00:19:02,665
Huey: Put out the cigarette.
419
00:19:03,235 --> 00:19:04,206
[Exhales sharply]
420
00:19:09,619 --> 00:19:12,747
Granddad: Let me see.
I'll just take a little pour.
421
00:19:12,747 --> 00:19:15,084
Then a pinch and a splash.
422
00:19:15,234 --> 00:19:18,842
Or is it a splash,
then a pinch and a pour?
423
00:19:20,138 --> 00:19:21,468
Huey: Wrong one.
424
00:19:23,154 --> 00:19:25,321
- Go!
- Granddad: Aah!
425
00:19:25,321 --> 00:19:27,381
[Both screaming]
426
00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:31,306
[Indistinct shouting]
[Both coughing, gagging]
427
00:19:36,016 --> 00:19:37,061
Granddad: Riley!
428
00:19:44,644 --> 00:19:47,003
Huey: Granddad!
We got to get out of here!
429
00:19:47,362 --> 00:19:50,966
Granddad: [Screaming]
430
00:19:50,966 --> 00:19:52,958
Riley: This is all your fault, Granddad.
431
00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:55,245
If we die,
I ain't never gonna forgive you.
432
00:19:59,498 --> 00:20:00,904
Granddad: Don't turn over!
Aah!
433
00:20:06,558 --> 00:20:24,830
[Sirens wailing]
434
00:20:24,830 --> 00:20:26,727
Ruckus: Robert! You lazy nigga!
435
00:20:26,768 --> 00:20:28,411
You're supposed to be at the car wash!
436
00:20:28,411 --> 00:20:30,470
I'm docking you a full day's pay!
437
00:20:31,254 --> 00:20:34,772
Granddad: [Screams]
Aah! It's not fair!
438
00:20:34,772 --> 00:20:35,881
I can't take it!
439
00:20:35,881 --> 00:20:38,748
Those [Bleep]
they took everything!
440
00:20:38,748 --> 00:20:40,456
They can't get away with it! They can't!
441
00:20:40,646 --> 00:20:43,613
They can't get away with it!
[Screams]
442
00:20:43,613 --> 00:20:45,080
[Both groaning, coughing]
443
00:20:45,556 --> 00:20:46,676
Oh, my head.
444
00:20:47,234 --> 00:20:50,102
Yo, this nigga done lost his damn mind.
445
00:20:50,102 --> 00:20:51,309
Hoo-hoo. Let's go.
446
00:20:53,582 --> 00:20:54,557
Keys?
447
00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:56,432
Unh-unh, but I can hot-wire this [Bleep].
448
00:20:56,557 --> 00:20:59,975
Granddad: Aah! Aah! Aah!
449
00:20:59,975 --> 00:21:02,258
Ohh, I wish I'd died in Korea!
450
00:21:02,258 --> 00:21:03,959
Aah! Aah! Ohh.
451
00:21:04,304 --> 00:21:08,424
[Groans]
[Sighing]
452
00:21:12,460 --> 00:21:14,315
Huey: In retrospect, it was my fault.
453
00:21:14,497 --> 00:21:15,649
Let's go home.
454
00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:17,917
Granddad: But... what about this?
455
00:21:18,098 --> 00:21:19,921
There are two bodies in there.
456
00:21:19,921 --> 00:21:21,743
Riley: We chop 'em up and
dump the bodies.
457
00:21:21,743 --> 00:21:23,309
Granddad: No. No.
458
00:21:23,479 --> 00:21:25,616
Look... look at the example I'm setting.
459
00:21:26,165 --> 00:21:27,618
None of this is okay.
460
00:21:27,618 --> 00:21:29,107
I'm a terrible grandparent.
461
00:21:29,107 --> 00:21:30,919
You boys deserve better than
this.
462
00:21:31,048 --> 00:21:32,449
I'm gonna turn myself in.
463
00:21:33,258 --> 00:21:34,908
[Electricity crackles]
464
00:21:34,908 --> 00:21:35,775
Got it!
465
00:21:38,055 --> 00:21:39,464
Huey: What the [Bleep]?!
466
00:21:46,646 --> 00:21:47,974
Granddad: Which way you say home was?
467
00:21:48,180 --> 00:21:49,393
Huey: This way.
468
00:21:51,490 --> 00:21:54,271
Riley: I hope nobody see us walking
home with you in your underwear.
469
00:21:59,564 --> 00:22:04,026
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470
00:22:04,076 --> 00:22:08,626
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