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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,900 --> 00:00:03,000 In the celebrity criminal justice system 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,000 there are the so-called "musicians" 3 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:09,100 who commit crimes and the overpaid private defense attorneys who defend them. 4 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,700 This is one of their stories. 5 00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:13,500 Just finished up with the clerk. 6 00:00:13,500 --> 00:00:15,000 He's shook up but okay. 7 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,200 Said the guy just flipped out, started dancing like Michael Jackson, 8 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,100 then showed a gun and robbed the place. 9 00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:23,100 Perp was a black male, around 19, really sexy... 10 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:25,000 Sexy? Exactly how sexy? 11 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:29,200 Dimples, "honey brown" complexion, chiseled abs, extra shiny chap-sticked lips... 12 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,100 Damn, that is sexy. 13 00:00:31,100 --> 00:00:34,600 There's only one 19-year-old black male that matches that sexy profile. 14 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,900 - Pretty Boy Flizzy. - Never heard of him. 15 00:00:36,900 --> 00:00:39,800 Um, only the hottest up-and-coming R&B star! 16 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:42,100 You've heard of his songs... "Titty telethon"? 17 00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:44,700 "Pleasure me orally"? "Don't touch my anus, girl"? 18 00:00:44,700 --> 00:00:45,800 How would I have heard this? 19 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,400 Okay, I know you've heard, "you make me wanna unh!" 20 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:51,800 All day long on the radio, that's all I hear, even on the white stations. 21 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:54,500 No, I haven't heard "you make me wanna unh!" 22 00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:55,700 That's disgusting. 23 00:00:55,700 --> 00:00:58,600 Eh, it's not my thing, but it's what passes for R&B now, all right? 24 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,200 What can I say? I got teenage daughters. 25 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:02,200 They're into black guys, so this is what I got to hear. 26 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:03,600 What happened to the good old days 27 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:06,200 when black singers would dress in high-heel boots 28 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,200 or burn hookers with crack pipes? 29 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:10,000 You're showing your age, my friend. 30 00:01:10,100 --> 00:01:12,600 Flizzy's in town, doing a show at woodcrest post pavilion tonight. 31 00:01:12,900 --> 00:01:15,300 I was hoping to go. Now I have an excuse. 32 00:01:15,300 --> 00:01:16,900 You make me wanna unh 33 00:01:16,900 --> 00:01:18,200 Like we havin' sex 34 00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:21,200 Baby, grab your ankles, you know what's next. 35 00:01:50,500 --> 00:01:52,400 Synced by emmasan www.Addic7ed.com 36 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,900 - [groans] Granddad, what we got to eat?! - Rent! 37 00:01:58,400 --> 00:01:59,400 I'm hungry! 38 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:00,600 Then have sleep for dinner! 39 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:01,500 You can eat tomorrow. 40 00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:02,900 You're getting fat anyway! 41 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,300 The security-camera footage you're watching 42 00:02:05,300 --> 00:02:09,100 is allegedly of R&B superstar Pretty Boy Flizzy 43 00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:11,800 holding up a liquor store in woodcrest. 44 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:16,100 While it is difficult to clearly see the suspect's face, 45 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,700 authorities say his sexiness is an exact match. 46 00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:20,800 This isn't Flizzy's first run-in with the law. 47 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:22,700 Last year, he received four months probation 48 00:02:22,700 --> 00:02:25,300 after beating his then-girlfriend Christianna 49 00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:27,000 live onstage during the Grammys. 50 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:33,800 I'd just like to apologize to all my fans for beating my hot R&B girlfriend. 51 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,000 I let my fans down. 52 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:38,800 Without you, I wouldn't even have an R&B girlfriend to beat. 53 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:42,000 A year before that, Flizzy received a two-year suspended sentence 54 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,800 for smuggling automatic weapons from Nicaraguan rebels. 55 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:47,600 I'd just like to apologize to all my fans 56 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:51,200 for smuggling automatic weapons from South American death squads. 57 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:54,600 I make no excuses, other than it was a really good deal 58 00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:56,700 and they were throwing in a lot of free ammunition. 59 00:02:56,700 --> 00:02:58,300 Six months ago, Flizzy was arrested 60 00:02:58,300 --> 00:03:02,200 for fighting in the V.I.P. section of a nightclub with Nicki Minaj. 61 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:05,100 I'd just like to apologize to all my fans, 62 00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:08,300 for fighting in the V.I.P. section with Nicki Minaj. 63 00:03:08,500 --> 00:03:12,100 In my defense, I thought she was a robot sent from the future to kill me. 64 00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:14,300 Woodcrest Tea Party Chairman Uncle Ruckus 65 00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:16,700 staged a small protest at the venue today. 66 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:21,000 Who keeps giving these high-yellow felons record contracts?! 67 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,400 Oh, oh, it's just a record you say! 68 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:25,700 Well, white folks, you won't be saying that 69 00:03:25,700 --> 00:03:28,800 when the nigga that sings on that record comes to town 70 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:32,300 and impregnates all the white women of child-rearing age! 71 00:03:32,300 --> 00:03:34,900 And that is exactly what he plans to do! 72 00:03:34,900 --> 00:03:37,900 Just think of all the government money and food stamps 73 00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:41,800 that them little mixed-race quadroon nigga children will be consuming! 74 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,600 And they consume a whole lot more than regular children 75 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,400 'cause they eatin' for two races! 76 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,000 Others felt differently. 77 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,600 I don't care what anyone says. 78 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:51,900 Flizzy can whup my ass anytime! 79 00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:54,200 Come on! Beat it up, fleezy! Whoa! 80 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:58,100 Sarah: I want you to get mad at me, once in awhile, you know? 81 00:03:58,100 --> 00:03:59,600 - Tom: If you wouldn't mind... - Granddad: Turn that down. 82 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:03,500 - Now listen, listen. Shh! - Sarah: I'm tired of it! It's boring! 83 00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:07,300 - Sarah: It's boring me to death! - Tom: Sarah, please calm down! 84 00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:09,700 I said I apologize! 85 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,100 There you go again. You're doing it again! 86 00:04:12,300 --> 00:04:13,900 - Doing what? - Apologizing! 87 00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:15,400 You don't want me to apologize? 88 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:16,600 No, I don't! 89 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:19,100 Okay, I'm sorry I'm apologizing. 90 00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:20,200 You did it again! 91 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,600 Sarah, calm down! I'm sorry. 92 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:25,800 [Bleep] I'm sorry! [Bleep] [Bleep] I can't stop! 93 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:26,900 Oh, I swear to God, Tom, 94 00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,900 if you apologize again, you are out of here! 95 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:32,200 I'm... mm. Okay. 96 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,400 Then just tell me what to do. 97 00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:35,800 That's the problem, Tom! 98 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:36,900 I don't want to tell you what to do! 99 00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:38,500 I want you to do what I want you to do 100 00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:40,000 but because you want to do it! 101 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:40,900 What?! 102 00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:42,300 But why not just tell me?! 103 00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:44,400 Because! No woman wakes up and says, 104 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:47,000 "Gee, I hope my man does everything I tell him to today." 105 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,800 You're the man, Tom! 106 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:51,400 Sometimes I want you to dominate! 107 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:52,400 Take control! 108 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,700 If I'm out of line, put me in check! 109 00:04:54,700 --> 00:04:57,400 Sure, honey. Whatever you say. 110 00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:00,800 - Sarah: Ohh! Tom! - Tom: Fine! I hear you! 111 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:04,600 From now on, I'll take control, and I won't apologize anymore. 112 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:07,800 Except, wait. You wanted me to stop apologizing, 113 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,800 so I'm supposed to do the opposite of that. Right? 114 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:14,300 Yeah, so then I guess I will apologize, then... 115 00:05:14,300 --> 00:05:16,200 If that's all right with you. 116 00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:18,900 [Clears throat] Sorry? 117 00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:21,200 [Grumbles] Get out. 118 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:22,700 - Tom: Now, honey, don't do... - Sarah: Get out! 119 00:05:22,700 --> 00:05:24,200 Ow! 120 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:25,700 Aw, man, here he come! 121 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,100 Riley, hit the lights! 122 00:05:27,100 --> 00:05:27,900 Mm-hmm. 123 00:05:27,900 --> 00:05:30,000 Huey, electronics! Enough is enough. 124 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,200 I'm tired of that henpecked simp coming over here 125 00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:33,400 every time she throws him out, 126 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:34,800 screaming like a little bitch. 127 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:36,000 This time, he can sleep in the yard. 128 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:39,200 While it is difficult to clearly see the suspect's face, authorities have... 129 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:44,000 [Doorbell rings] Please. [Crying] 130 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,200 It's toilet paper and a pop-tart. 131 00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:07,800 Hey, don't tell my granddad about this. 132 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,300 We not supposed to feed you. 133 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,700 [Tiger growls] 134 00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:24,200 I really don't think it's prudent to record an attorney meeting. 135 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,000 I'm not recording. This is a live stream. 136 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,500 What's up? Y'all know who it is... 137 00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:29,500 Pretty beezy flee-yeezey-weezy, you know? 138 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,400 I appreciate all the love and support y'all been sending me 139 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:33,700 since the whole incident went down. 140 00:06:33,700 --> 00:06:35,800 Never fear. Got big lawyers on the case. 141 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,400 Say what's up to Tom DuBois. 142 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:40,400 Flizzy, I'm gonna have to ask you to turn it off, now. 143 00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:42,600 Kill the camera, B. 144 00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:44,900 I also think these people should leave. 145 00:06:44,900 --> 00:06:46,800 "These people?" [Bleep] you mean "these people?" 146 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:48,700 Tom: I mean these people. 147 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:51,600 You mean my people, nigga! These my people. 148 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:53,600 Anything you can say to me you can say in front of them. 149 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:55,200 If anything, nigga, you the stranger here. 150 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:56,100 You should leave the room. 151 00:06:56,100 --> 00:06:57,500 It's my office. 152 00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:00,300 Okay, then, so what's the big [Bleep] secret that you can't tell me 153 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:02,100 in front of my fans and my people? 154 00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:04,200 Matter of fact, why am I even here? 155 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,900 You wanted to talk to me about your criminal case. 156 00:07:06,900 --> 00:07:08,600 Oh, that's right! 157 00:07:09,100 --> 00:07:11,800 I reviewed the case, and I've watched the security footage. 158 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:13,800 Cool. So, what do you think? 159 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:14,800 Can you get me off? 160 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,700 Did you rob the liquor store, Flizzy? 161 00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:19,100 I can't say that... I did it, 162 00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:22,200 but, honestly, really can't say f'sho one way or the other. 163 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:24,400 And why can't you say "f'sho"? 164 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:25,600 I was [Bleep] up! 165 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,100 And how about these... how about your entourage? 166 00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:29,400 Do they know anything? 167 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:30,900 They was [Bleep] up, too! 168 00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:33,000 Hey, man, when we go out, we go hard. 169 00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:35,600 You don't understand how complicated it is being me. 170 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:37,700 I say [Bleep] all the time I didn't even know I said. 171 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:38,600 How? 172 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:41,200 'Cause I got like 18 people tweeting for me at one time. 173 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:42,400 And we're all [Bleep] up! 174 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,100 So, like, I look at the tape and I say, 175 00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:46,800 "is it me, or is it someone I just paid to rob a liquor store 176 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,400 who looks just like me?" 177 00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:50,400 I don't know. 178 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,000 Okay, I want you to know up front 179 00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:55,400 that I have serious issues with some of your behavior in the past, 180 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:56,700 especially hitting a woman. 181 00:07:56,700 --> 00:07:58,800 B-but wait. I knew you was gonna say that. 182 00:07:58,900 --> 00:08:00,500 Can I tell you my side of it, though? 183 00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:02,200 - Tom: No, I don't... - Flizzy: Can I tell you my side of it, though? 184 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:03,500 No, Flizzy, there's no excuse... 185 00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:05,100 Can I tell you my side of it, though? 186 00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:06,400 Fine, what? 187 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:08,900 Man, I was [Bleep] up! 188 00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:12,400 Soon as I got arrested, I said, 189 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,500 "I want the dude that got r. Kelly off." 190 00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:16,100 Well, I prosecuted R. Kelly, and I... 191 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:19,700 Never mind. My answer is almost certainly no, but... I'll think 192 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,300 about it. If I do take the case, 193 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:23,600 my retainer is... 194 00:08:24,100 --> 00:08:27,600 My retainer is... 195 00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:28,000 [Laughs] Entertain that. 196 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:30,700 Please stop throwing money at me. 197 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:33,400 Things a bitch will never say. 198 00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:35,500 Hey, that's a song! 199 00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:38,500 A'ight, pimpin', I'm-a see you tomorrow. 200 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:46,300 That singer Pretty Boy Flizzy came in today. 201 00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:47,300 Pretty Boy Flizzy? 202 00:08:47,300 --> 00:08:48,500 Are you serious? 203 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:51,600 He's hiring you to defend him for the liquor-store thing? 204 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,100 Tom, that's huge! 205 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,300 Don't get too excited. 206 00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:55,700 I'm not taking the case. 207 00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:56,800 Why not? 208 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:59,000 I don't want to defend a woman-beater, for one. 209 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,900 He made a little tiny mistake. 210 00:09:00,900 --> 00:09:03,800 I guess hitting a woman is okay if you have abs, is that it? 211 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:05,600 He's a talented artist. 212 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:07,700 Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay. Slow down. 213 00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:12,400 "Fluid swap"? "Rub against my erection"? "You make me wanna unh"? 214 00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:14,900 [Gasps] I love "you make me wanna unh!" 215 00:09:14,900 --> 00:09:17,400 Oh, do you think you could get him to sing at Jazmine's birthday? 216 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:19,500 No! Do you let her listen to that? 217 00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:21,300 Our problems have been rough on her. 218 00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:22,500 It would be nice to, you know... 219 00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:24,800 What? 220 00:09:25,300 --> 00:09:27,900 Don't you think I know what's going on here? 221 00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:28,800 What? 222 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:30,100 This isn't about Jazmine. 223 00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:32,700 You want to meet Pretty Boy Flizzy. 224 00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:36,000 [Scoffs] No, Jazmine wants to meet Pretty Boy Flizzy. 225 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,900 Tom: No, you want me to defend Pretty Boy Flizzy 226 00:09:37,900 --> 00:09:39,900 because you want to meet him 227 00:09:39,900 --> 00:09:41,900 and do him! 228 00:09:41,900 --> 00:09:42,900 What?! 229 00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:45,500 - Tom: Yeah! Yeah! You do! - Sarah: Oh, this is a new level! 230 00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:47,900 You want to go unh on him! 231 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:50,900 You want to unh on him all night! 232 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,400 I can't believe how insecure you are! 233 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:54,600 Listen to yourself. 234 00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:56,900 He's like your perfect man! 235 00:09:56,900 --> 00:10:00,600 He won't even say sorry when he pounds your face in! 236 00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:03,900 Granddad: Wait. Wait. 237 00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:08,000 He's not coming this way. He's getting in his car. 238 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,400 - [Tires screeching] - [All gasp] 239 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:15,000 You're a selfish bastard, Robert Freeman! 240 00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:18,900 [Tires screeching] 241 00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:23,600 I just don't think it's gonna work out, Flizzy. 242 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:24,600 Why not? 243 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,500 Well, it's not you. It's me. 244 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,500 I'm just dealing with some personal problems. 245 00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:29,900 Hey, suck that [Bleep] up, my dude! 246 00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:30,800 Come on, Tom! 247 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:31,600 You know what? 248 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,500 Right now, we're both letting the haters get us down. 249 00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:34,900 We got to shake the haters. 250 00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:36,100 Do this for me, Tom. 251 00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:37,500 Come on. Shake those haters. 252 00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:39,700 I'm hate-free, but I can still feel the hate on you. 253 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:42,900 Mmm. Feels good, doesn't it? 254 00:10:43,300 --> 00:10:45,700 Okay, so... now will you take the case? 255 00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:46,500 No. 256 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:50,000 Okay, fine. If you can't take the case, you can't take the case. 257 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,400 It just seems like me... 258 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,200 Sexy, buff alpha male... 259 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,500 And you... Kindhearted but frumpy everyman... 260 00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:57,300 Could somehow be able to help each other. 261 00:10:57,500 --> 00:11:00,100 Am I a frumpy everyman? 262 00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:01,000 Is that it?! 263 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,700 Is that why she's lost interest?! 264 00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:05,200 Of course. You're dull as [Bleep] Tom! 265 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:08,200 You dress like [Bleep] your hair looks like [Bleep]. 266 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:11,700 You got no flash, no swag, nothin veneer of toughness. 267 00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:14,400 Of course your wife left you and is doing it to some random guy. 268 00:11:14,900 --> 00:11:16,200 That's not what I said happened. 269 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:17,700 So, look... you take the case, 270 00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:18,700 and I teach you how to dress 271 00:11:18,700 --> 00:11:21,200 and how to talk to bitches and save your marriage. 272 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:22,600 You know what? Why not? 273 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,000 You're not gonna teach me how to dance, right? 274 00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:27,700 No. No dancing. 275 00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:29,600 But there will be a shopping montage. 276 00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:31,300 Two things women hate... 277 00:11:31,700 --> 00:11:33,200 Broke men and boring men. 278 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,200 Good news is, you're not broke. 279 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:36,500 But you are boring, 280 00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:38,100 and women hate to be bored, Tom. 281 00:11:38,100 --> 00:11:39,800 They hate to be bored. 282 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,100 A woman would rather be with a guy that beats them to death 283 00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:43,300 than bores them to death. 284 00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:44,900 Trust me, nigga, I know. 285 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:47,600 [Indistinct shouting] 286 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:49,100 But why do they want me, Tom? 287 00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:50,800 Is it my incredible sexiness? 288 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:51,800 Sure. 289 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:53,400 But why am I so sexy? 290 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,400 What is the secret to my sexiness? 291 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:59,200 My money, my jewels, fame? Absolutely. 292 00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:02,000 But, really, it's because I'm a [Bleep] up. 293 00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:04,100 I get arrested, I do drugs, 294 00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:06,200 I rob liquor stores... allegedly! 295 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,300 That's what all women want. 296 00:12:08,300 --> 00:12:09,100 Why? 297 00:12:09,100 --> 00:12:10,900 Because women have no self-respect! 298 00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:12,800 [Camera shutter clicks] 299 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,500 Well, my wife has self-respect. 300 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,000 Really? You sure? 301 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:19,300 Yes! She's an educated, well-rounded, confident woman. 302 00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:20,200 I may need to meet her. 303 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,900 No, no, no. No. I know where this goes. 304 00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:24,600 You're not going to do my wife. 305 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:25,900 Do your wife? 306 00:12:25,900 --> 00:12:27,400 Tom, I wouldn't do your wife. 307 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,800 You have a song called "I will do your wife!" 308 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,800 I didn't mean your wife! 309 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,800 I meant that metaphorically. 310 00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:36,500 Mm, I still don't think it's a good idea. 311 00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:38,200 Nigga, I swear on my abs... 312 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:40,200 On my abs, nigga! 313 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:41,500 I will not touch your wife. 314 00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:44,900 Well, my daughter would love to meet you. 315 00:12:44,900 --> 00:12:46,600 A small dinner. No entourage! 316 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:47,500 No problem. 317 00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:50,300 [Indistinct shouting] 318 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,100 Man, I can't believe all these people showed up. 319 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:57,600 Well, maybe if you hadn't tweeted our address to 3 million people... 320 00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:58,500 Hey, man... 321 00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:00,600 Yeah, you were f'Ed up, I know. 322 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:01,600 Okay, so, check it. 323 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:04,100 Key with chicks is to insult them when you compliment them. 324 00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:05,500 Never be too nice. 325 00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:07,500 Trust me. Go neg on her. 326 00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:08,600 Knock her down a peg. 327 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:09,400 She'll love it. 328 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,600 Hey, sweetie, you look lovely tonight. 329 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:16,900 Oh, thank you, honey. 330 00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:19,100 Yeah, but not as nice as you think you look. 331 00:13:19,700 --> 00:13:20,900 Asshole! 332 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:26,000 [Doorbell rings] 333 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,900 [Indistinct shouting] 334 00:13:27,900 --> 00:13:29,000 Hey, neighbor! 335 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,100 We, uh, heard there's a dinner party going down, 336 00:13:31,300 --> 00:13:33,300 and I never received the e-vite, 337 00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:35,500 so here we are. 338 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:42,100 You didn't get one because you weren't invited. 339 00:13:42,100 --> 00:13:44,200 You got a lot of nerve leaving me out in the cold 340 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:47,700 and then wanting to come to the Flizzy dinner for the free food. 341 00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:49,200 We didn't come here for the free food. 342 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,500 We came here to warn you. 343 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:52,700 Tom, you got to get that Flizzy away from your wife! 344 00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:53,800 It's bad enough she's trapped 345 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,000 in this passionless, sexually unfulfilling marriage with you. 346 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,200 Her ladyparts probably burning with unquenchable lust, 347 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,400 and you just gonna dangle all that sexiness in front of her?! 348 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:01,200 Huh? 349 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:04,100 Man, it's like, "here, nigga, take my wife, please!" 350 00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:05,700 You know he's got a song called... 351 00:14:05,700 --> 00:14:07,400 "I will do your wife," yes. 352 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:10,200 But there's also a song called, "white wifebooty." 353 00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:11,500 Know that? 354 00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:14,100 Really? No, no, I didn't. 355 00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:16,200 And it doesn't matter, guys. 356 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:17,500 I-I know what I'm doing. 357 00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:19,600 Flizzy's gonna help me work things out with Sarah. 358 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:20,900 Oh, he gonna work something out, all right. 359 00:14:20,900 --> 00:14:21,900 That Booty. 360 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,000 He's here to help. 361 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,800 Oh, he gonna help himself to that Booty! 362 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:25,900 It's under control! 363 00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:28,500 - Granddad: He's gonna.. - Tom: Control that Booty. Got it. 364 00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:30,400 I wasn't gonna say that. 365 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:32,800 He gonna be under that Booty! 366 00:14:32,900 --> 00:14:35,300 Ha ha! Good one, granddad! 367 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,400 Yeah, ha, yeah, very funny guys. Enough. 368 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:38,500 As long as you know. 369 00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:40,800 Next time your kids are born with great abs and tattoos, 370 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,100 don't say I didn't warn you. 371 00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:43,700 Come on, kids. Let's eat. 372 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:45,700 Tom: [Sighs] 373 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:49,300 [Laughing] [Slurring] Oh, my God, Flizzy, 374 00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:52,500 you're so funny and so polite. 375 00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:56,400 I can't believe you rob liquor stores and you beat up women. 376 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:57,600 Sarah! 377 00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,100 No, it's cool. She's right. 378 00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:00,800 I really need to stop getting arrested. 379 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:04,300 I'm not passing judgment about the Christianna thing. 380 00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:07,200 I know sometimes bitches step out of line. 381 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,400 Lord knows I do! [Laughs] 382 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,300 Honey, there are children at the table. 383 00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:13,500 Now, I want to be clear, kids... 384 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,800 Hitting a woman is wrong... 385 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:18,400 Unless she hits you first. [Laughter] 386 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:20,200 - Flizzy: Ain't that right! - Tom: Wow. 387 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,800 Or she talks about your mama! 388 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,900 Sarah, that is enough! 389 00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:25,500 "Sarah, that's enough." 390 00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:26,800 Sarah, that's it! 391 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,800 You're embarrassing yourself in front of your daughter 392 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,500 and in front of Pretty Boy Flizzy! 393 00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:32,100 It's like we not even here. 394 00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:32,800 Now, you've had enough. 395 00:15:32,900 --> 00:15:35,100 You are going to go upstairs and sleep it off! 396 00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,800 [Laughs] What are you gonna do, Tom? 397 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,100 Hit me? 398 00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:39,700 No! I'm gonna leave you! 399 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:41,400 Mwah! 400 00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:42,200 Daddy! 401 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,300 Tom, wait! Tom! 402 00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:45,500 Tom, grew a pair. 403 00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:47,300 - Didn't see that coming. - [Burping] 404 00:15:47,300 --> 00:15:50,200 Riley: [Laughing] 405 00:15:55,700 --> 00:16:00,600 Tom: [Grunts] Bitter. 406 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,100 Sorry to bother you. 407 00:16:03,300 --> 00:16:05,400 Didn't really have anyone else to call. 408 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,300 Eh, no sweat, man. That was rough. 409 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,300 Yeah, it was a disaster. 410 00:16:09,300 --> 00:16:11,100 So much for making a man out of me. 411 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:14,300 Naw, man. To just stand up and walk out, that took guts. 412 00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:18,000 All I ended up learning is my wife likes you better. 413 00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:19,500 Your wife doesn't like me better. 414 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:21,400 You guys are both just boring as [Bleep]. 415 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:22,600 You're rolling with me tonight. 416 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,400 I'm taking you to man camp. 417 00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:27,200 But I don't hang with no negative-energy-sucking [Bleep]. 418 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,600 So gather up some positivity in this bitch right quick 419 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:30,700 and let's roll out. 420 00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:32,600 Okay! I can be positive. 421 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:33,700 I'm not a loser. 422 00:16:33,700 --> 00:16:36,100 I can... get stuff... happening, 423 00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:37,900 and I got stuff going on! 424 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,500 Things could be worse. I could be that guy. 425 00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:44,100 It's a mirror, Tom. 426 00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:45,900 Tom: Mm [Bleep]. 427 00:17:03,100 --> 00:17:04,100 Welcome. 428 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,500 Oh, what the heck. It's man camp. 429 00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:09,800 [Inhaling deeply] 430 00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:31,500 Tom: Hey, this is the buy-n-fly that Flizzy robbed. [Chuckles] 431 00:17:31,700 --> 00:17:32,900 Funny. 432 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,900 [Bell dings] 433 00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:38,300 Tylenol? 434 00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:51,700 I'm telling you we've watched this thing a million times. 435 00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:53,000 We know that's Flizzy. 436 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,200 Case closed. 437 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,400 That's right. Ha ha ha! Yeah! 438 00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:02,800 [Rewinding] 439 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:04,700 [Bell dings] Cut! 440 00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:06,600 There was a p.A. In the shot! 441 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:07,700 Reset! 442 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:09,300 Man, I'm getting sweaty. 443 00:18:09,900 --> 00:18:12,000 Pretty's sweaty. Is someone deaf? 444 00:18:12,100 --> 00:18:13,200 Shine check! 445 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,200 Can you throw me a line? 446 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,300 - Trying to get my union card. - [Door opens] 447 00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:18,700 Find anything, columbo? 448 00:18:18,700 --> 00:18:20,700 Uh, nope! Nothing. 449 00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,200 [Chuckles] Thanks, Jack. 450 00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:31,000 Sarah: [Humming] 451 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,200 Mrs. DuBois, do you mind if we do a quick sound check? 452 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:34,300 Of course. Go ahead. 453 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:41,200 Okay, "I'm gonna [Bleep]" on 1, 2, 3... 454 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:42,200 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on! 455 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,700 Excuse me just a sec. 456 00:18:43,700 --> 00:18:46,500 You, uh, can't sing that at Jazmine's party. 457 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:47,600 Why not? 458 00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:48,200 You don't like it? 459 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,100 No! I love that song. A lot, actually. 460 00:18:50,300 --> 00:18:53,000 We just have to replace [Bleep] with something. [Bleep] 461 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:53,800 No, no. 462 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:54,800 How about "cake"? 463 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,400 Sure thing, Mrs. DuBois. 464 00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:06,700 What's up, tiger? 465 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:08,400 You faked the robbery. 466 00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:10,000 What are you talking about? 467 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,800 I watched the surveillance tape, Flizzy... 468 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:12,800 The whole tape. 469 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,600 I know you staged the robbery. 470 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:17,100 You just couldn't leave [Beep] alone, could you? 471 00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:19,700 What else was fake? Were the Nicaraguan guns fake? 472 00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,900 Did you really even beat Christianna? 473 00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:24,800 Don't you ever question whether or not I beat Christianna! 474 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,800 I whupped that bitch's ass! 475 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,500 But the Nicki Minaj thing was staged. 476 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:31,200 She ain't really a cyborg, either. 477 00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:32,300 She's a nice girl. 478 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:33,900 Damn, Tom. 479 00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:35,400 Why couldn't you just mind your own business? 480 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:36,700 I'm your attorney! 481 00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:37,800 This is my business! 482 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:38,700 But why? 483 00:19:38,700 --> 00:19:40,600 'Cause I got to stay relevant! That's why! 484 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,500 This music [Bleep] sucks right now! 485 00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:45,400 You got to act like an idiot just to stay in their [Bleep] faces! 486 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:49,100 But if I can stay in just the right amount of trouble, I'll be all right. 487 00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:52,200 My audience is women, Tom... women. 488 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,100 And women hate to be bored. 489 00:19:54,100 --> 00:19:55,600 Look, Flizzy, I'm sorry. 490 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,500 I don't understand any of this. 491 00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:58,900 I don't live in your world. 492 00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:00,100 I'm a simple guy. 493 00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,600 I just want to do my job, take care of my family, 494 00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:05,200 and I needed some help trying to get my wife back. 495 00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:09,500 Oh, you want your wife back? 496 00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:11,800 How about not inviting a nigga that's richer than you 497 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,900 and prettier than you to meet your wife? 498 00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:15,600 I mean, how stupid can you be, nigga? 499 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,500 What? But I-I thought we were... 500 00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:18,400 Thought what, nigga?! 501 00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:19,800 I'm tired of your punk-ass! 502 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:21,600 Tom: [Grunts] 503 00:20:22,700 --> 00:20:24,700 Flizzy, I think you should just leave. 504 00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:27,800 [Bleep] Leave? I might as well move in this bitch. 505 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:29,400 You already done gave me your wife. 506 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:30,500 [Bleep] This is my house! 507 00:20:30,500 --> 00:20:33,000 Jazmine's gonna be calling me daddy from now on. 508 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:33,800 Tom: Now, that's enough! 509 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,800 Oh, you mad, Tom? What you gonna do? 510 00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:37,200 You want to hit me? Hit me, Tom! 511 00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:38,200 Hey! 512 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:39,700 Flizzy, I'm warning you... 513 00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:42,900 Hit me, Tom. Come on, hit me now! 514 00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:45,000 All right, you asked for it! 515 00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:47,900 Tom! 516 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:52,200 Come on [Bleep], aah! 517 00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:54,700 You're not taking my family! 518 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,000 Tom! Oh, my God! Tom, stop! 519 00:20:57,700 --> 00:20:59,600 Oh! I knew it! I knew it! 520 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:00,600 Citizen's arrest! 521 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,600 I'm making a citizen's arrest! 522 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:05,900 - [Screams, grunts] - Tom: [Grunts] 523 00:21:05,900 --> 00:21:07,500 Now shut up! Stop squirming! 524 00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,300 You have the right to remain silent! 525 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:12,200 Oh! Baby, are you okay?! 526 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:13,300 I can't believe you did that. 527 00:21:13,300 --> 00:21:15,800 You were a maniac! I have never seen you like that. 528 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,000 All right, get moving, get moving. 529 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,900 Avert your eyes, avert your eyes. 530 00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:28,000 Just a nigga going to jail. Nothing to see here. 531 00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:32,400 Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. 532 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:34,900 I was such a bitch, and you didn't deserve any of that. 533 00:21:34,900 --> 00:21:38,600 Yes. Yes, you were a... "B." 534 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,100 Please come home. Please. 535 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,100 I have cake. 536 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:45,900 Let's get you upstairs. 537 00:21:45,900 --> 00:21:48,700 You ready for some Sarah cake? 538 00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,300 [Giggles] Naughty! 539 00:21:52,300 --> 00:21:53,900 [Both laugh] 540 00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:58,400 Tom: [Grunting] Oh, my back! 541 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,700 [Bodies thud] Oh! I'm sorry. 542 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:31,100 Synced by emmasan www.Addic7ed.Com 543 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,800 Next mondy on "The Boondocks"... 544 00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:35,800 Grandad is broke busted. 545 00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,100 How bad is it? 546 00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:38,400 We have no money? 547 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:39,300 Worse. 548 00:22:39,300 --> 00:22:41,300 Worse? What's worse than no money? 549 00:22:41,100 --> 00:22:43,100 - We are in debt. - Mm-hmm. 550 00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:44,600 What are you doing here? 551 00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,200 Question is, Robert, what are you doing here? 552 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,800 You thought you could pay off your mortgage by food stamps? 553 00:22:51,700 --> 00:22:54,800 *** 554 00:22:54,900 --> 00:22:57,500 *** 555 00:22:57,550 --> 00:23:02,100 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 41023

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