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In the celebrity criminal justice system
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there are the so-called "musicians"
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who commit crimes and the overpaid
private defense attorneys who defend them.
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This is one of their stories.
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Just finished up with the clerk.
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He's shook up but okay.
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Said the guy just flipped out,
started dancing like Michael Jackson,
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then showed a gun and robbed the place.
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Perp was a black male,
around 19, really sexy...
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Sexy? Exactly how sexy?
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Dimples, "honey brown" complexion, chiseled
abs, extra shiny chap-sticked lips...
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Damn, that is sexy.
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There's only one 19-year-old black
male that matches that sexy profile.
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- Pretty Boy Flizzy.
- Never heard of him.
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Um, only the hottest
up-and-coming R&B star!
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You've heard of his
songs... "Titty telethon"?
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"Pleasure me orally"?
"Don't touch my anus, girl"?
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How would I have heard this?
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Okay, I know you've heard,
"you make me wanna unh!"
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All day long on the radio, that's all
I hear, even on the white stations.
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No, I haven't heard
"you make me wanna unh!"
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That's disgusting.
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Eh, it's not my thing, but it's
what passes for R&B now, all right?
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What can I say? I got teenage daughters.
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They're into black guys, so
this is what I got to hear.
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What happened to the good old days
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when black singers would
dress in high-heel boots
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or burn hookers with crack pipes?
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You're showing your age, my friend.
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Flizzy's in town, doing a show at
woodcrest post pavilion tonight.
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I was hoping to go. Now I have an excuse.
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You make me wanna unh
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Like we havin' sex
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Baby, grab your ankles,
you know what's next.
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Synced by
emmasan www.Addic7ed.com
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- [groans] Granddad, what we got to eat?!
- Rent!
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I'm hungry!
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Then have sleep for dinner!
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You can eat tomorrow.
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You're getting fat anyway!
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The security-camera
footage you're watching
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is allegedly of R&B
superstar Pretty Boy Flizzy
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holding up a liquor store in woodcrest.
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While it is difficult to
clearly see the suspect's face,
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authorities say his
sexiness is an exact match.
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This isn't Flizzy's
first run-in with the law.
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Last year, he received
four months probation
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after beating his
then-girlfriend Christianna
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live onstage during the Grammys.
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I'd just like to apologize to all my
fans for beating my hot R&B girlfriend.
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I let my fans down.
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Without you, I wouldn't even
have an R&B girlfriend to beat.
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A year before that, Flizzy received
a two-year suspended sentence
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for smuggling automatic
weapons from Nicaraguan rebels.
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I'd just like to apologize to all my fans
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for smuggling automatic weapons
from South American death squads.
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I make no excuses, other
than it was a really good deal
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and they were throwing in
a lot of free ammunition.
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Six months ago, Flizzy was arrested
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for fighting in the V.I.P. section
of a nightclub with Nicki Minaj.
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I'd just like to apologize to all my fans,
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for fighting in the V.I.P.
section with Nicki Minaj.
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In my defense, I thought she was a
robot sent from the future to kill me.
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Woodcrest Tea Party Chairman Uncle Ruckus
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staged a small protest at the venue today.
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Who keeps giving these high-yellow
felons record contracts?!
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Oh, oh, it's just a record you say!
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Well, white folks, you won't be saying that
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when the nigga that sings
on that record comes to town
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and impregnates all the white
women of child-rearing age!
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And that is exactly what he plans to do!
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Just think of all the
government money and food stamps
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that them little mixed-race quadroon
nigga children will be consuming!
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And they consume a whole lot
more than regular children
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'cause they eatin' for two races!
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Others felt differently.
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I don't care what anyone says.
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Flizzy can whup my ass anytime!
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Come on! Beat it up, fleezy! Whoa!
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Sarah: I want you to get mad
at me, once in awhile, you know?
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- Tom: If you wouldn't mind...
- Granddad: Turn that down.
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- Now listen, listen. Shh!
- Sarah: I'm tired of it! It's boring!
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- Sarah: It's boring me to death!
- Tom: Sarah, please calm down!
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I said I apologize!
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There you go again. You're doing it again!
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- Doing what?
- Apologizing!
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You don't want me to apologize?
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No, I don't!
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Okay, I'm sorry I'm apologizing.
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You did it again!
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Sarah, calm down! I'm sorry.
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[Bleep] I'm sorry! [Bleep]
[Bleep] I can't stop!
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Oh, I swear to God, Tom,
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if you apologize again,
you are out of here!
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I'm... mm. Okay.
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Then just tell me what to do.
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That's the problem, Tom!
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I don't want to tell you what to do!
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I want you to do what I want you to do
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but because you want to do it!
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What?!
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But why not just tell me?!
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Because! No woman wakes up and says,
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"Gee, I hope my man does
everything I tell him to today."
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You're the man, Tom!
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Sometimes I want you to dominate!
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Take control!
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If I'm out of line, put me in check!
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Sure, honey. Whatever you say.
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- Sarah: Ohh! Tom!
- Tom: Fine! I hear you!
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From now on, I'll take control,
and I won't apologize anymore.
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Except, wait. You wanted
me to stop apologizing,
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so I'm supposed to do the
opposite of that. Right?
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Yeah, so then I guess
I will apologize, then...
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If that's all right with you.
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[Clears throat] Sorry?
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[Grumbles] Get out.
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- Tom: Now, honey, don't do...
- Sarah: Get out!
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Ow!
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Aw, man, here he come!
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Riley, hit the lights!
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Mm-hmm.
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Huey, electronics! Enough is enough.
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I'm tired of that henpecked
simp coming over here
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every time she throws him out,
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screaming like a little bitch.
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This time, he can sleep in the yard.
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While it is difficult to clearly see
the suspect's face, authorities have...
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[Doorbell rings] Please. [Crying]
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It's toilet paper and a pop-tart.
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Hey, don't tell my granddad about this.
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We not supposed to feed you.
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[Tiger growls]
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I really don't think it's prudent
to record an attorney meeting.
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I'm not recording. This is a live stream.
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What's up? Y'all know who it is...
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Pretty beezy flee-yeezey-weezy, you know?
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I appreciate all the love and
support y'all been sending me
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since the whole incident went down.
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Never fear. Got big lawyers on the case.
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Say what's up to Tom DuBois.
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Flizzy, I'm gonna have to
ask you to turn it off, now.
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Kill the camera, B.
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I also think these people should leave.
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"These people?" [Bleep]
you mean "these people?"
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Tom: I mean these people.
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You mean my people, nigga! These my people.
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Anything you can say to me
you can say in front of them.
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If anything, nigga, you the stranger here.
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You should leave the room.
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It's my office.
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Okay, then, so what's the big
[Bleep] secret that you can't tell me
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in front of my fans and my people?
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Matter of fact, why am I even here?
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You wanted to talk to me
about your criminal case.
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Oh, that's right!
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I reviewed the case, and I've
watched the security footage.
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Cool. So, what do you think?
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Can you get me off?
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Did you rob the liquor store, Flizzy?
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I can't say that... I did it,
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but, honestly, really can't
say f'sho one way or the other.
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And why can't you say "f'sho"?
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I was [Bleep] up!
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And how about these...
how about your entourage?
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Do they know anything?
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They was [Bleep] up, too!
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Hey, man, when we go out, we go hard.
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You don't understand how
complicated it is being me.
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I say [Bleep] all the time
I didn't even know I said.
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How?
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'Cause I got like 18 people
tweeting for me at one time.
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And we're all [Bleep] up!
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So, like, I look at the tape and I say,
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"is it me, or is it someone I
just paid to rob a liquor store
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who looks just like me?"
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I don't know.
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Okay, I want you to know up front
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that I have serious issues with
some of your behavior in the past,
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especially hitting a woman.
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B-but wait. I knew you was gonna say that.
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Can I tell you my side of it, though?
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- Tom: No, I don't...
- Flizzy: Can I tell you my side of it, though?
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No, Flizzy, there's no excuse...
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Can I tell you my side of it, though?
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Fine, what?
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Man, I was [Bleep] up!
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Soon as I got arrested, I said,
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"I want the dude that got r. Kelly off."
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Well, I prosecuted R. Kelly, and I...
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Never mind. My answer is almost
certainly no, but... I'll think
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about it. If I do take the case,
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my retainer is...
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My retainer is...
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[Laughs] Entertain that.
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Please stop throwing money at me.
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Things a bitch will never say.
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Hey, that's a song!
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A'ight, pimpin', I'm-a see you tomorrow.
200
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:46,300
That singer Pretty Boy
Flizzy came in today.
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Pretty Boy Flizzy?
202
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Are you serious?
203
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He's hiring you to defend him
for the liquor-store thing?
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Tom, that's huge!
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Don't get too excited.
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I'm not taking the case.
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Why not?
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I don't want to defend
a woman-beater, for one.
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He made a little tiny mistake.
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I guess hitting a woman is okay
if you have abs, is that it?
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00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:05,600
He's a talented artist.
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00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:07,700
Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay. Slow down.
213
00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:12,400
"Fluid swap"? "Rub against my
erection"? "You make me wanna unh"?
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[Gasps] I love "you make me wanna unh!"
215
00:09:14,900 --> 00:09:17,400
Oh, do you think you could get
him to sing at Jazmine's birthday?
216
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:19,500
No! Do you let her listen to that?
217
00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:21,300
Our problems have been rough on her.
218
00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:22,500
It would be nice to, you know...
219
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What?
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Don't you think I know
what's going on here?
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What?
222
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This isn't about Jazmine.
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You want to meet Pretty Boy Flizzy.
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[Scoffs] No, Jazmine wants
to meet Pretty Boy Flizzy.
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00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,900
Tom: No, you want me to
defend Pretty Boy Flizzy
226
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because you want to meet him
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and do him!
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What?!
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00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:45,500
- Tom: Yeah! Yeah! You do!
- Sarah: Oh, this is a new level!
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You want to go unh on him!
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00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:50,900
You want to unh on him all night!
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I can't believe how insecure you are!
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Listen to yourself.
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He's like your perfect man!
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He won't even say sorry
when he pounds your face in!
236
00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:03,900
Granddad: Wait. Wait.
237
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:08,000
He's not coming this way.
He's getting in his car.
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00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,400
- [Tires screeching]
- [All gasp]
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You're a selfish bastard, Robert Freeman!
240
00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:18,900
[Tires screeching]
241
00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:23,600
I just don't think it's
gonna work out, Flizzy.
242
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:24,600
Why not?
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00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,500
Well, it's not you. It's me.
244
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I'm just dealing with
some personal problems.
245
00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:29,900
Hey, suck that [Bleep] up, my dude!
246
00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:30,800
Come on, Tom!
247
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:31,600
You know what?
248
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,500
Right now, we're both letting
the haters get us down.
249
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:34,900
We got to shake the haters.
250
00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:36,100
Do this for me, Tom.
251
00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:37,500
Come on. Shake those haters.
252
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:39,700
I'm hate-free, but I can
still feel the hate on you.
253
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:42,900
Mmm. Feels good, doesn't it?
254
00:10:43,300 --> 00:10:45,700
Okay, so... now will you take the case?
255
00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:46,500
No.
256
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:50,000
Okay, fine. If you can't take
the case, you can't take the case.
257
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,400
It just seems like me...
258
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,200
Sexy, buff alpha male...
259
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,500
And you... Kindhearted
but frumpy everyman...
260
00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:57,300
Could somehow be able to help each other.
261
00:10:57,500 --> 00:11:00,100
Am I a frumpy everyman?
262
00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:01,000
Is that it?!
263
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,700
Is that why she's lost interest?!
264
00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:05,200
Of course. You're dull as [Bleep] Tom!
265
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:08,200
You dress like [Bleep]
your hair looks like [Bleep].
266
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:11,700
You got no flash, no swag,
nothin veneer of toughness.
267
00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:14,400
Of course your wife left you and
is doing it to some random guy.
268
00:11:14,900 --> 00:11:16,200
That's not what I said happened.
269
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:17,700
So, look... you take the case,
270
00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:18,700
and I teach you how to dress
271
00:11:18,700 --> 00:11:21,200
and how to talk to bitches
and save your marriage.
272
00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:22,600
You know what? Why not?
273
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,000
You're not gonna teach
me how to dance, right?
274
00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:27,700
No. No dancing.
275
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:29,600
But there will be a shopping montage.
276
00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:31,300
Two things women hate...
277
00:11:31,700 --> 00:11:33,200
Broke men and boring men.
278
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,200
Good news is, you're not broke.
279
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:36,500
But you are boring,
280
00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:38,100
and women hate to be bored, Tom.
281
00:11:38,100 --> 00:11:39,800
They hate to be bored.
282
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,100
A woman would rather be with
a guy that beats them to death
283
00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:43,300
than bores them to death.
284
00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:44,900
Trust me, nigga, I know.
285
00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:47,600
[Indistinct shouting]
286
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:49,100
But why do they want me, Tom?
287
00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:50,800
Is it my incredible sexiness?
288
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:51,800
Sure.
289
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:53,400
But why am I so sexy?
290
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,400
What is the secret to my sexiness?
291
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:59,200
My money, my jewels, fame? Absolutely.
292
00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:02,000
But, really, it's because I'm a [Bleep] up.
293
00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:04,100
I get arrested, I do drugs,
294
00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:06,200
I rob liquor stores... allegedly!
295
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,300
That's what all women want.
296
00:12:08,300 --> 00:12:09,100
Why?
297
00:12:09,100 --> 00:12:10,900
Because women have no self-respect!
298
00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:12,800
[Camera shutter clicks]
299
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,500
Well, my wife has self-respect.
300
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,000
Really? You sure?
301
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:19,300
Yes! She's an educated,
well-rounded, confident woman.
302
00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:20,200
I may need to meet her.
303
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,900
No, no, no. No. I know where this goes.
304
00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:24,600
You're not going to do my wife.
305
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:25,900
Do your wife?
306
00:12:25,900 --> 00:12:27,400
Tom, I wouldn't do your wife.
307
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,800
You have a song called
"I will do your wife!"
308
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,800
I didn't mean your wife!
309
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,800
I meant that metaphorically.
310
00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:36,500
Mm, I still don't think it's a good idea.
311
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:38,200
Nigga, I swear on my abs...
312
00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:40,200
On my abs, nigga!
313
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:41,500
I will not touch your wife.
314
00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:44,900
Well, my daughter would love to meet you.
315
00:12:44,900 --> 00:12:46,600
A small dinner. No entourage!
316
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:47,500
No problem.
317
00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:50,300
[Indistinct shouting]
318
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,100
Man, I can't believe all
these people showed up.
319
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:57,600
Well, maybe if you hadn't tweeted
our address to 3 million people...
320
00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:58,500
Hey, man...
321
00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:00,600
Yeah, you were f'Ed up, I know.
322
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:01,600
Okay, so, check it.
323
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:04,100
Key with chicks is to insult
them when you compliment them.
324
00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:05,500
Never be too nice.
325
00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:07,500
Trust me. Go neg on her.
326
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:08,600
Knock her down a peg.
327
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:09,400
She'll love it.
328
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,600
Hey, sweetie, you look lovely tonight.
329
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:16,900
Oh, thank you, honey.
330
00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:19,100
Yeah, but not as nice
as you think you look.
331
00:13:19,700 --> 00:13:20,900
Asshole!
332
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:26,000
[Doorbell rings]
333
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,900
[Indistinct shouting]
334
00:13:27,900 --> 00:13:29,000
Hey, neighbor!
335
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,100
We, uh, heard there's a
dinner party going down,
336
00:13:31,300 --> 00:13:33,300
and I never received the e-vite,
337
00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:35,500
so here we are.
338
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:42,100
You didn't get one because
you weren't invited.
339
00:13:42,100 --> 00:13:44,200
You got a lot of nerve
leaving me out in the cold
340
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:47,700
and then wanting to come to the
Flizzy dinner for the free food.
341
00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:49,200
We didn't come here for the free food.
342
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,500
We came here to warn you.
343
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:52,700
Tom, you got to get that
Flizzy away from your wife!
344
00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:53,800
It's bad enough she's trapped
345
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,000
in this passionless, sexually
unfulfilling marriage with you.
346
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,200
Her ladyparts probably
burning with unquenchable lust,
347
00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,400
and you just gonna dangle all
that sexiness in front of her?!
348
00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:01,200
Huh?
349
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:04,100
Man, it's like, "here,
nigga, take my wife, please!"
350
00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:05,700
You know he's got a song called...
351
00:14:05,700 --> 00:14:07,400
"I will do your wife," yes.
352
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:10,200
But there's also a song
called, "white wifebooty."
353
00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:11,500
Know that?
354
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:14,100
Really? No, no, I didn't.
355
00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:16,200
And it doesn't matter, guys.
356
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:17,500
I-I know what I'm doing.
357
00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:19,600
Flizzy's gonna help me
work things out with Sarah.
358
00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:20,900
Oh, he gonna work something out, all right.
359
00:14:20,900 --> 00:14:21,900
That Booty.
360
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,000
He's here to help.
361
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,800
Oh, he gonna help himself to that Booty!
362
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:25,900
It's under control!
363
00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:28,500
- Granddad: He's gonna..
- Tom: Control that Booty. Got it.
364
00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:30,400
I wasn't gonna say that.
365
00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:32,800
He gonna be under that Booty!
366
00:14:32,900 --> 00:14:35,300
Ha ha! Good one, granddad!
367
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,400
Yeah, ha, yeah, very funny guys. Enough.
368
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:38,500
As long as you know.
369
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:40,800
Next time your kids are born
with great abs and tattoos,
370
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,100
don't say I didn't warn you.
371
00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:43,700
Come on, kids. Let's eat.
372
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:45,700
Tom: [Sighs]
373
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:49,300
[Laughing] [Slurring] Oh, my God, Flizzy,
374
00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:52,500
you're so funny and so polite.
375
00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:56,400
I can't believe you rob liquor
stores and you beat up women.
376
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:57,600
Sarah!
377
00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,100
No, it's cool. She's right.
378
00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:00,800
I really need to stop getting arrested.
379
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:04,300
I'm not passing judgment
about the Christianna thing.
380
00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:07,200
I know sometimes bitches step out of line.
381
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,400
Lord knows I do! [Laughs]
382
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,300
Honey, there are children at the table.
383
00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:13,500
Now, I want to be clear, kids...
384
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,800
Hitting a woman is wrong...
385
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:18,400
Unless she hits you first. [Laughter]
386
00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:20,200
- Flizzy: Ain't that right!
- Tom: Wow.
387
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,800
Or she talks about your mama!
388
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,900
Sarah, that is enough!
389
00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:25,500
"Sarah, that's enough."
390
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:26,800
Sarah, that's it!
391
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,800
You're embarrassing yourself
in front of your daughter
392
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,500
and in front of Pretty Boy Flizzy!
393
00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:32,100
It's like we not even here.
394
00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:32,800
Now, you've had enough.
395
00:15:32,900 --> 00:15:35,100
You are going to go
upstairs and sleep it off!
396
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,800
[Laughs] What are you gonna do, Tom?
397
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,100
Hit me?
398
00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:39,700
No! I'm gonna leave you!
399
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:41,400
Mwah!
400
00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:42,200
Daddy!
401
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,300
Tom, wait! Tom!
402
00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:45,500
Tom, grew a pair.
403
00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:47,300
- Didn't see that coming.
- [Burping]
404
00:15:47,300 --> 00:15:50,200
Riley: [Laughing]
405
00:15:55,700 --> 00:16:00,600
Tom: [Grunts] Bitter.
406
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,100
Sorry to bother you.
407
00:16:03,300 --> 00:16:05,400
Didn't really have anyone else to call.
408
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,300
Eh, no sweat, man. That was rough.
409
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,300
Yeah, it was a disaster.
410
00:16:09,300 --> 00:16:11,100
So much for making a man out of me.
411
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:14,300
Naw, man. To just stand up
and walk out, that took guts.
412
00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:18,000
All I ended up learning is
my wife likes you better.
413
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:19,500
Your wife doesn't like me better.
414
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:21,400
You guys are both just boring as [Bleep].
415
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:22,600
You're rolling with me tonight.
416
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,400
I'm taking you to man camp.
417
00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:27,200
But I don't hang with no
negative-energy-sucking [Bleep].
418
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,600
So gather up some positivity
in this bitch right quick
419
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:30,700
and let's roll out.
420
00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:32,600
Okay! I can be positive.
421
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:33,700
I'm not a loser.
422
00:16:33,700 --> 00:16:36,100
I can... get stuff... happening,
423
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:37,900
and I got stuff going on!
424
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,500
Things could be worse. I could be that guy.
425
00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:44,100
It's a mirror, Tom.
426
00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:45,900
Tom: Mm [Bleep].
427
00:17:03,100 --> 00:17:04,100
Welcome.
428
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,500
Oh, what the heck. It's man camp.
429
00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:09,800
[Inhaling deeply]
430
00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:31,500
Tom: Hey, this is the buy-n-fly
that Flizzy robbed. [Chuckles]
431
00:17:31,700 --> 00:17:32,900
Funny.
432
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,900
[Bell dings]
433
00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:38,300
Tylenol?
434
00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:51,700
I'm telling you we've watched
this thing a million times.
435
00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:53,000
We know that's Flizzy.
436
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,200
Case closed.
437
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,400
That's right. Ha ha ha! Yeah!
438
00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:02,800
[Rewinding]
439
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:04,700
[Bell dings] Cut!
440
00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:06,600
There was a p.A. In the shot!
441
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:07,700
Reset!
442
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:09,300
Man, I'm getting sweaty.
443
00:18:09,900 --> 00:18:12,000
Pretty's sweaty. Is someone deaf?
444
00:18:12,100 --> 00:18:13,200
Shine check!
445
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,200
Can you throw me a line?
446
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,300
- Trying to get my union card.
- [Door opens]
447
00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:18,700
Find anything, columbo?
448
00:18:18,700 --> 00:18:20,700
Uh, nope! Nothing.
449
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,200
[Chuckles] Thanks, Jack.
450
00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:31,000
Sarah: [Humming]
451
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,200
Mrs. DuBois, do you mind if
we do a quick sound check?
452
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:34,300
Of course. Go ahead.
453
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:41,200
Okay, "I'm gonna [Bleep]" on 1, 2, 3...
454
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:42,200
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on!
455
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,700
Excuse me just a sec.
456
00:18:43,700 --> 00:18:46,500
You, uh, can't sing
that at Jazmine's party.
457
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:47,600
Why not?
458
00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:48,200
You don't like it?
459
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,100
No! I love that song. A lot, actually.
460
00:18:50,300 --> 00:18:53,000
We just have to replace
[Bleep] with something. [Bleep]
461
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:53,800
No, no.
462
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:54,800
How about "cake"?
463
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,400
Sure thing, Mrs. DuBois.
464
00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:06,700
What's up, tiger?
465
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:08,400
You faked the robbery.
466
00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:10,000
What are you talking about?
467
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,800
I watched the surveillance tape, Flizzy...
468
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:12,800
The whole tape.
469
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,600
I know you staged the robbery.
470
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:17,100
You just couldn't leave
[Beep] alone, could you?
471
00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:19,700
What else was fake? Were
the Nicaraguan guns fake?
472
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,900
Did you really even beat Christianna?
473
00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:24,800
Don't you ever question whether
or not I beat Christianna!
474
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,800
I whupped that bitch's ass!
475
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,500
But the Nicki Minaj thing was staged.
476
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:31,200
She ain't really a cyborg, either.
477
00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:32,300
She's a nice girl.
478
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:33,900
Damn, Tom.
479
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:35,400
Why couldn't you just
mind your own business?
480
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:36,700
I'm your attorney!
481
00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:37,800
This is my business!
482
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:38,700
But why?
483
00:19:38,700 --> 00:19:40,600
'Cause I got to stay relevant! That's why!
484
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,500
This music [Bleep] sucks right now!
485
00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:45,400
You got to act like an idiot just
to stay in their [Bleep] faces!
486
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:49,100
But if I can stay in just the right
amount of trouble, I'll be all right.
487
00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:52,200
My audience is women, Tom... women.
488
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,100
And women hate to be bored.
489
00:19:54,100 --> 00:19:55,600
Look, Flizzy, I'm sorry.
490
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,500
I don't understand any of this.
491
00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:58,900
I don't live in your world.
492
00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:00,100
I'm a simple guy.
493
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,600
I just want to do my job,
take care of my family,
494
00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:05,200
and I needed some help
trying to get my wife back.
495
00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:09,500
Oh, you want your wife back?
496
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:11,800
How about not inviting a
nigga that's richer than you
497
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,900
and prettier than you to meet your wife?
498
00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:15,600
I mean, how stupid can you be, nigga?
499
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,500
What? But I-I thought we were...
500
00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:18,400
Thought what, nigga?!
501
00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:19,800
I'm tired of your punk-ass!
502
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:21,600
Tom: [Grunts]
503
00:20:22,700 --> 00:20:24,700
Flizzy, I think you should just leave.
504
00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:27,800
[Bleep] Leave? I might as
well move in this bitch.
505
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:29,400
You already done gave me your wife.
506
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:30,500
[Bleep] This is my house!
507
00:20:30,500 --> 00:20:33,000
Jazmine's gonna be calling
me daddy from now on.
508
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:33,800
Tom: Now, that's enough!
509
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,800
Oh, you mad, Tom? What you gonna do?
510
00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:37,200
You want to hit me? Hit me, Tom!
511
00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:38,200
Hey!
512
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:39,700
Flizzy, I'm warning you...
513
00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:42,900
Hit me, Tom. Come on, hit me now!
514
00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:45,000
All right, you asked for it!
515
00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:47,900
Tom!
516
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:52,200
Come on [Bleep], aah!
517
00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:54,700
You're not taking my family!
518
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,000
Tom! Oh, my God! Tom, stop!
519
00:20:57,700 --> 00:20:59,600
Oh! I knew it! I knew it!
520
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:00,600
Citizen's arrest!
521
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,600
I'm making a citizen's arrest!
522
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:05,900
- [Screams, grunts]
- Tom: [Grunts]
523
00:21:05,900 --> 00:21:07,500
Now shut up! Stop squirming!
524
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,300
You have the right to remain silent!
525
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:12,200
Oh! Baby, are you okay?!
526
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:13,300
I can't believe you did that.
527
00:21:13,300 --> 00:21:15,800
You were a maniac! I have
never seen you like that.
528
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,000
All right, get moving, get moving.
529
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,900
Avert your eyes, avert your eyes.
530
00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:28,000
Just a nigga going to
jail. Nothing to see here.
531
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:32,400
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
532
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:34,900
I was such a bitch, and you
didn't deserve any of that.
533
00:21:34,900 --> 00:21:38,600
Yes. Yes, you were a... "B."
534
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,100
Please come home. Please.
535
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,100
I have cake.
536
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:45,900
Let's get you upstairs.
537
00:21:45,900 --> 00:21:48,700
You ready for some Sarah cake?
538
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,300
[Giggles] Naughty!
539
00:21:52,300 --> 00:21:53,900
[Both laugh]
540
00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:58,400
Tom: [Grunting] Oh, my back!
541
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,700
[Bodies thud] Oh! I'm sorry.
542
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:31,100
Synced by
emmasan www.Addic7ed.Com
543
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,800
Next mondy on "The Boondocks"...
544
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:35,800
Grandad is broke busted.
545
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,100
How bad is it?
546
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:38,400
We have no money?
547
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:39,300
Worse.
548
00:22:39,300 --> 00:22:41,300
Worse? What's worse than no money?
549
00:22:41,100 --> 00:22:43,100
- We are in debt.
- Mm-hmm.
550
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:44,600
What are you doing here?
551
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,200
Question is, Robert,
what are you doing here?
552
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,800
You thought you could pay off
your mortgage by food stamps?
553
00:22:51,700 --> 00:22:54,800
***
554
00:22:54,900 --> 00:22:57,500
***
555
00:22:57,550 --> 00:23:02,100
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