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♪ I am the stone that
the builder refused ♪
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♪ I am the visual, the inspiration
that made lady sing the blues ♪
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00:00:05,375 --> 00:00:07,210
♪ I'm the spark that
makes your idea bright ♪
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00:00:07,244 --> 00:00:08,744
♪ the same spark that
lights the dark ♪
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00:00:08,812 --> 00:00:10,713
♪ so that you can know your
left from your right ♪
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00:00:10,747 --> 00:00:12,848
♪ I am the ballot in your box,
the bullet in the gun ♪
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00:00:12,915 --> 00:00:15,283
♪ the inner glow that lets you
know to call your brother son ♪
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♪ the story that just begun ♪
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♪ the promise of what's to come ♪
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♪ and I'ma remain a soldier
till the war is won ♪
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00:00:20,723 --> 00:00:22,190
♪ chop chop chop ♪
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Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Granddad: Oh, oh. Ugh.
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00:00:38,879 --> 00:00:43,784
Oh, no. Look at this.
15
00:00:43,818 --> 00:00:46,453
Ugh! Mnh! Mnh-mnh.
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[ Speed-dialing ]
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[ Ringing ]
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[ Cellphone rings ]
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Ruckus: Nigga, what you want?
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00:00:50,925 --> 00:00:53,526
Granddad: I want you over my
house cutting my grass, like you
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00:00:53,561 --> 00:00:54,260
supposed to be!
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00:00:54,328 --> 00:00:56,896
Ruckus: Well, too bad for you,
'cause I just took another job.
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00:00:56,897 --> 00:00:59,365
And even though they don't pay
hardly nothin', working for
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00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:01,100
white folks look way
better on my résumé.
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00:01:01,101 --> 00:01:01,801
Granddad: Damn it!
26
00:01:01,868 --> 00:01:04,237
This is the fourth week in a
row you've canceled on me!
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00:01:04,271 --> 00:01:05,505
The yard looks like a jungle.
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00:01:05,539 --> 00:01:08,409
Ruckus: Well, chim-chim, you
three vine-swingers should feel
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right at home.
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I'll be there when the white
man don't need me no more.
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And let this be yet another
reminder that no matter how much
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money you got, you still just a nigga.
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[ Cellphone beeps ]
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Granddad: Ah!
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Ooh, I hate Ruckus!
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Huey, go change your
clothes and mow the lawn.
37
00:01:23,628 --> 00:01:25,796
Huey: Why do I always
have to cut the grass?
38
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Riley: [ sneezing ]
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I cannot stop sneezing.
40
00:01:28,233 --> 00:01:31,337
Granddad: Riley's got allergies.
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Riley: You just mad 'cause you
didn't think of it first.
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Ow!
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That didn't hurt, punk.
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[ Doorbell rings ]
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Granddad: Huey, hurry up!
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And I don't want to hear that "oh,
I'm dying of a heat stroke"
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excuse.
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You want to cool down?
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Cut your hair off!
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Good day, and how are you this
beautiful morning, good sir?
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I'm visiting you to make you
aware of an exciting offer I got
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in landscaping and home-repair
work that is just -- I'm talking
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'bout just touched down in your area.
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Granddad: Not interested.
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Huey: Whoa, whoa. Wait.
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00:02:00,639 --> 00:02:01,506
What exciting offer?
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00:02:01,540 --> 00:02:03,775
Let me ask you this -- are
you really satisfied with
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00:02:03,809 --> 00:02:06,344
your current landscaping and
home-repair service provider?
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00:02:06,411 --> 00:02:06,878
Huey: No.
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00:02:06,912 --> 00:02:08,212
Granddad: Yes. Go away.
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00:02:08,247 --> 00:02:10,148
That would be a
Mr. Uncle Ruckus, right?
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00:02:10,182 --> 00:02:12,250
A portly dude, not very
fond of african-americans?
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00:02:12,318 --> 00:02:14,619
What if I could offer you a
better service with way lower
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00:02:14,687 --> 00:02:16,521
prices with none of the
racial antagonism?
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00:02:16,588 --> 00:02:17,688
How's that sounding to you?
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00:02:17,756 --> 00:02:18,589
Huey: How much?
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I'll have your [bleep]
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00:02:19,725 --> 00:02:21,592
Looking splendiferous for a wet dub.
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00:02:21,626 --> 00:02:22,293
Granddad: No!
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Okay, look -- I'll
drop the price to $10.
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At this point, I ain't
even making no money.
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00:02:25,431 --> 00:02:26,865
I'm -- I'm just doing
this for my back arms.
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00:02:26,899 --> 00:02:27,765
Granddad: I said "no!"
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A cigarette and a cold
glass of orange juice.
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Granddad: Go hustle somebody else.
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00:02:30,903 --> 00:02:32,071
Check this out, pops.
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00:02:32,138 --> 00:02:34,673
Because I want your good favor
so bad, I already went ahead and
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put in a little work on the yard.
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00:02:36,343 --> 00:02:37,844
Granddad: You what?!
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[ Angelic music plays ]
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That's right.
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00:02:39,613 --> 00:02:41,782
Your boy cut the grass,
manicured the little weed area,
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00:02:41,849 --> 00:02:43,483
and even did a little shrubbery art.
84
00:02:43,518 --> 00:02:44,785
Granddad: You planted flowers.
85
00:02:44,852 --> 00:02:47,220
I mean, you needed a little
color right there, man.
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It wasn't any thang.
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00:02:48,623 --> 00:02:49,422
Huey: Wow.
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00:02:49,490 --> 00:02:51,591
Granddad: Oh.
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00:02:51,592 --> 00:02:54,227
Well, I'm impressed, young man.
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00:02:54,295 --> 00:02:54,928
Very impressed.
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00:02:54,962 --> 00:02:58,231
Don't meet a lot of people who
take pride in their work nowadays.
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Sorry I was so rude earlier.
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You earned this.
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Damn, man.
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00:03:00,902 --> 00:03:02,569
I was cool with the orange juice.
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00:03:02,603 --> 00:03:03,737
Granddad: No, no, no.
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00:03:03,771 --> 00:03:04,471
You take it.
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00:03:04,505 --> 00:03:06,673
I really appreciate this,
pops -- seriously.
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00:03:06,707 --> 00:03:10,109
Matter of fact, man, let's go
look at some hoes -- on me.
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00:03:10,144 --> 00:03:12,478
Yeah, House of cheeks with
the bungalow-booty bitches.
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00:03:12,546 --> 00:03:14,680
You know, they probably just
now crackin' the doors.
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Beers is cold, and the
bitches ain't sweaty.
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Man, come on, let's go and,
you know, see some ass.
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[ Hip-hop music plays ]
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Granddad: Man, this is fun!
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00:03:29,296 --> 00:03:32,564
It's been a while since I had
someone to go to a strip club with.
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00:03:32,632 --> 00:03:33,365
So, thanks.
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00:03:33,399 --> 00:03:34,666
I didn't even get your name.
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Just call me Lando.
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Granddad: Lando?
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00:03:36,935 --> 00:03:38,569
You mean like Lando Calrissian?
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00:03:38,603 --> 00:03:41,372
Well, Lando's really my
daddy's name, or that's what
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moms told a nigga since
I never knew him.
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She met him right when "the
empire strikes back" came out.
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Granddad: You know, people
used to call me Lando.
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I remember that summer
-- 1980, Chicago.
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Best summer of my life.
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I knew it was gonna be my year,
and, boy, I milked it for all it
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was worth.
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00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:59,188
Now, of course, I wasn't as
smooth as Billy Dee or as
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00:03:59,256 --> 00:04:01,824
good-looking as Billy Dee, and
I definitely didn't have no
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00:04:01,892 --> 00:04:04,827
Billy Dee money, but, thank God,
some women were so desperate,
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00:04:04,895 --> 00:04:06,362
they just didn't care.
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[ Slurping ]
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00:04:08,365 --> 00:04:11,334
I remember this one gal
-- her name was Marietta.
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Oh, she was hot!
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It was like I was doing it with
the same caliber of women as
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00:04:15,173 --> 00:04:16,073
Billy Dee himself.
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00:04:16,108 --> 00:04:17,608
Moms was a big Billy Dee fan.
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00:04:17,643 --> 00:04:20,445
Granddad: In the day, we
would go see "empire strikes
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00:04:20,513 --> 00:04:23,348
back," and at night, we had
some serious no-holds-barred,
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00:04:23,382 --> 00:04:24,715
freaky-deaky bareback action.
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00:04:24,783 --> 00:04:25,249
Whoo!
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00:04:25,284 --> 00:04:25,650
For real?
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00:04:25,717 --> 00:04:28,452
Granddad: You have to understand --
this was in the days before A.I.D.S.
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00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:29,820
There was no consequence whatsoever.
137
00:04:29,854 --> 00:04:30,621
That's so funny.
138
00:04:30,655 --> 00:04:31,722
Moms used to say the same thing.
139
00:04:31,789 --> 00:04:33,723
Granddad: It was just like
bang, bang, bang, bang!
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00:04:33,757 --> 00:04:34,357
Bang, bang!
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00:04:34,424 --> 00:04:35,324
Granddad: Bang, bang!
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00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:36,325
[ Laughing ] Bang, bang!
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00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,260
Granddad: I always wondered
what happened to her.
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00:04:38,295 --> 00:04:39,428
I guess I'll never know.
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00:04:39,463 --> 00:04:40,262
Gone for good.
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00:04:40,330 --> 00:04:43,332
I will never, ever in a million
years know what happened to her.
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00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:44,232
Oh, well.
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00:04:44,267 --> 00:04:47,236
You know, my mom's name was Marietta.
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00:04:47,270 --> 00:04:48,337
Granddad: Really?
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00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:50,873
What a random, completely
unrelated coincidence that has
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nothing to do with me.
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00:04:52,243 --> 00:04:54,878
Pops, I don't even know how to
say this, man, but I didn't
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00:04:54,945 --> 00:04:56,513
come here just to do your yard.
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00:04:56,547 --> 00:04:57,414
Granddad: Huh?
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00:04:57,448 --> 00:04:59,717
I came to Woodcrest because
I think you're my dad.
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00:04:59,751 --> 00:05:01,719
Granddad: Yes, she does
-- really nice ones.
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00:05:01,786 --> 00:05:02,686
Oh, yeah! Mm-mm-mmm.
158
00:05:02,721 --> 00:05:03,320
No, no.
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00:05:03,355 --> 00:05:04,622
I said, "I think you're my dad."
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00:05:04,689 --> 00:05:06,490
Granddad: Don't worry about the tab.
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00:05:06,524 --> 00:05:07,490
I got the next round.
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00:05:07,525 --> 00:05:10,426
No, no. I said...
[ whispers ]
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00:05:10,461 --> 00:05:11,528
Wait! Wait! Hold on! Wait!
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00:05:11,596 --> 00:05:12,128
Hold on!
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00:05:12,163 --> 00:05:13,162
Granddad: I knew it!
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00:05:13,196 --> 00:05:15,598
I knew you were a scam artist
the moment I laid eyes on you.
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00:05:15,665 --> 00:05:16,599
Pops, please, man.
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00:05:16,633 --> 00:05:17,299
Please, man.
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00:05:17,333 --> 00:05:19,601
Just give me a second.
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00:05:19,635 --> 00:05:20,501
To scam an old man.
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00:05:20,569 --> 00:05:23,071
Mowing his lawn, trimming his
shrubs, planting some color.
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00:05:23,138 --> 00:05:25,139
I don't ever want to see
you around here again.
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00:05:25,207 --> 00:05:27,475
Aw, come on, man.
I -- pops, man! Hey!
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00:05:27,509 --> 00:05:30,411
Wait! Pop! Pop!
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00:05:30,479 --> 00:05:33,480
You my ride!
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00:05:33,515 --> 00:05:35,516
Huey: Granddad, it's not
like you did anything wrong.
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00:05:35,584 --> 00:05:36,584
Granddad: He's not my son!
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00:05:36,651 --> 00:05:38,218
Huey: I mean, you had no way to know.
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00:05:38,286 --> 00:05:39,753
Granddad: Did you hear
what I just said?
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00:05:39,787 --> 00:05:40,487
He's not my son.
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00:05:40,555 --> 00:05:42,856
And I don't ever want to hear the
name Lando in this house again.
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00:05:42,923 --> 00:05:45,124
And no one is allowed to watch
"empire strikes back" or
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00:05:45,159 --> 00:05:47,660
"the return of the jedi"
ever again, either!
184
00:05:52,465 --> 00:05:53,198
Hey, pops!
185
00:05:53,232 --> 00:05:54,132
[ Tires screech ]
186
00:05:54,166 --> 00:05:56,501
Granddad: You -- I told you
to get away from here.
187
00:05:56,535 --> 00:05:57,468
I tried to be nice.
188
00:05:57,503 --> 00:05:58,669
Now I'm calling the police.
189
00:05:58,737 --> 00:06:02,740
You're trespassing on private hey,
pops, I'm not stalking you or nothin'.
190
00:06:02,774 --> 00:06:05,309
I-I'm just over here doing
some work for the Duboiseses.
191
00:06:05,344 --> 00:06:07,379
Big Tom, big Tom, what's
the business, baby?
192
00:06:07,446 --> 00:06:09,747
Keep sendin' them dumb-ass
niggas to jail, big dude.
193
00:06:09,815 --> 00:06:12,384
They ham-ass know they shouldn't
have did that [bleep]
194
00:06:12,451 --> 00:06:15,654
Anyway, the hot water fixed in the
guest bathroom, so you all good.
195
00:06:15,722 --> 00:06:18,391
The guests can drop a deuce,
wash they booger hooks, get
196
00:06:18,459 --> 00:06:19,726
fresh, disinfect -- no prob.
197
00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:21,194
Know what I'm talkin' about?
198
00:06:21,262 --> 00:06:22,262
Poppin' your collar.
199
00:06:22,296 --> 00:06:24,097
Tom: Aw, man, you are a godsend.
200
00:06:24,132 --> 00:06:25,832
Robert, I guess we have you
to thank for lando, huh?
201
00:06:25,900 --> 00:06:27,567
Granddad: What's that
supposed to mean?!
202
00:06:27,635 --> 00:06:29,569
I didn't give him life, if
that's what you're implying!
203
00:06:29,637 --> 00:06:31,838
I told him you were the first
one to give a brother a chance
204
00:06:31,872 --> 00:06:34,741
to, you know, show what
I can do with the yard.
205
00:06:34,809 --> 00:06:36,476
I'm gonna make some calls, as well.
206
00:06:36,511 --> 00:06:38,278
Hey, you know I got
to put my folks on.
207
00:06:38,346 --> 00:06:39,212
You know how we do.
208
00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:41,348
[ Laughing ] Yeah.
209
00:06:41,382 --> 00:06:43,650
Where's this guy been
all our lives, huh?
210
00:06:43,685 --> 00:06:45,285
See ya later.
211
00:06:45,353 --> 00:06:46,520
Granddad: What is your game?
212
00:06:46,554 --> 00:06:49,089
Blackmail, extortion --
what do you want from me?
213
00:06:49,157 --> 00:06:50,457
My mother left a journal.
214
00:06:50,492 --> 00:06:53,360
She said she got pregnant by a
man she loved very much whose
215
00:06:53,428 --> 00:06:54,428
nickname was lando.
216
00:06:54,463 --> 00:06:56,263
And there was this.
217
00:06:56,297 --> 00:06:56,897
Granddad: [ gasps ]
218
00:06:56,931 --> 00:06:59,700
[ Voice breaking ] Man, I ain't
come here to steal nothi''
219
00:06:59,734 --> 00:07:00,434
from you, man.
220
00:07:00,468 --> 00:07:03,204
I just wanted to find my pops
and tell him that I...Thank him
221
00:07:03,271 --> 00:07:05,105
for skeetin' that life into moms, man.
222
00:07:05,140 --> 00:07:07,741
I wanted to tell him I love him
very much and I respect him for
223
00:07:07,809 --> 00:07:08,809
everything he did, man.
224
00:07:08,877 --> 00:07:10,345
Granddad: Get away from me!
225
00:07:10,379 --> 00:07:11,279
You can't be my son!
226
00:07:11,347 --> 00:07:12,514
You too ugly to be my son!
227
00:07:12,548 --> 00:07:14,149
Oh, okay. I-I get it.
228
00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:15,350
The problem ain't having a son.
229
00:07:15,418 --> 00:07:16,818
I-it's just having me as a son, huh?
230
00:07:16,886 --> 00:07:20,188
Granddad: I want you out of this
neighborhood and out of my life forever.
231
00:07:20,256 --> 00:07:20,689
You got that?
232
00:07:20,723 --> 00:07:22,624
Everybody do things on they own time.
233
00:07:22,658 --> 00:07:23,558
I ain't in no rush.
234
00:07:23,626 --> 00:07:24,626
I ain't even trippin'.
235
00:07:24,660 --> 00:07:27,262
Only thing is, I don't know
what your casio lookin' like.
236
00:07:27,296 --> 00:07:30,099
But, you know, whenever you want
to holla at your boy, I'm right
237
00:07:30,166 --> 00:07:31,367
here, man, posted like a lamp.
238
00:07:31,435 --> 00:07:32,268
I love you, pops!
239
00:07:32,336 --> 00:07:35,571
I ain't never gonna stop
loving you -- never!
240
00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:39,342
Granddad: I'm sorry to stop
by on such short notice.
241
00:07:39,377 --> 00:07:41,345
I didn't really know
who else to turn to.
242
00:07:41,413 --> 00:07:42,313
Come on, pops.
243
00:07:42,347 --> 00:07:43,514
You know I ain't no thang.
244
00:07:43,548 --> 00:07:44,448
I'm here to help.
245
00:07:44,516 --> 00:07:46,317
So, you need a person, uh, removed?
246
00:07:46,351 --> 00:07:47,251
Granddad: Yes.
247
00:07:47,285 --> 00:07:49,252
You mean like removed from the earth?
248
00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:49,619
No!
249
00:07:49,687 --> 00:07:51,688
I mean like removed
from the neighborhood.
250
00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:52,722
[ Laughing ] Oh.
251
00:07:52,757 --> 00:07:54,224
So, you want him kidnapped.
252
00:07:54,259 --> 00:07:55,425
Granddad: Well, kinda.
253
00:07:55,493 --> 00:07:56,894
Not really.
254
00:07:56,928 --> 00:07:59,530
Someplace really far away, like South
America or Africa or something?
255
00:07:59,597 --> 00:08:01,532
W-well, you realize that if
you don't kill him, there's
256
00:08:01,599 --> 00:08:03,400
nothing preventing him
from coming back to town.
257
00:08:03,434 --> 00:08:05,502
Granddad: Well, if you took
him really far away, maybe he
258
00:08:05,536 --> 00:08:07,170
won't have enough money to come back.
259
00:08:07,205 --> 00:08:07,771
I don't know.
260
00:08:07,805 --> 00:08:09,606
I just want him to go away from me.
261
00:08:09,674 --> 00:08:10,607
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
262
00:08:10,674 --> 00:08:11,241
Back up.
263
00:08:11,275 --> 00:08:12,242
W-who we talking about?
264
00:08:12,276 --> 00:08:13,510
Granddad: His name is lando.
265
00:08:13,545 --> 00:08:15,079
Oh [bleep]
266
00:08:15,146 --> 00:08:16,146
Lando?!
267
00:08:16,214 --> 00:08:17,614
The new handyman?!
268
00:08:17,648 --> 00:08:21,484
Man, that [bleep] is cold
with that landscaping!
269
00:08:21,518 --> 00:08:22,518
What's your beef with him?
270
00:08:22,553 --> 00:08:24,487
Granddad: He's a con man
pretending to be my son.
271
00:08:24,522 --> 00:08:26,422
Oh, I see, but he ain't your son?
272
00:08:26,490 --> 00:08:29,593
He is absolutely, positively,
almost virtually certainly not.
273
00:08:29,627 --> 00:08:31,228
[bleep] he seem cool to me.
274
00:08:31,262 --> 00:08:34,065
You know how some people, you
just like right off the bat?
275
00:08:34,132 --> 00:08:35,400
But yeah [bleep] I say kill him.
276
00:08:35,434 --> 00:08:36,401
Granddad: Kill him?!
277
00:08:36,435 --> 00:08:37,502
I don't want to kill him!
278
00:08:37,537 --> 00:08:38,603
A'ight, a'ight, a'ight.
279
00:08:38,638 --> 00:08:41,139
Only other choice might be to
get one of them DNA tests to
280
00:08:41,207 --> 00:08:42,307
prove you ain't the father.
281
00:08:42,342 --> 00:08:43,242
Granddad: Really?
282
00:08:43,276 --> 00:08:44,877
Where do you get one
of those tests done?
283
00:08:44,911 --> 00:08:49,314
Oh, I know one place
that do it for free.
284
00:08:49,315 --> 00:08:51,816
Announcer: Coming up next on
"the Steve Wilkos show"...
285
00:08:51,817 --> 00:08:53,851
I just want to know who
my real father is.
286
00:08:53,919 --> 00:08:55,786
Moms always said his
nickname was lando.
287
00:08:55,854 --> 00:08:57,855
Didn't you used to
call yourself lando?
288
00:08:57,889 --> 00:08:58,589
Didn't you?!
289
00:08:58,623 --> 00:08:59,590
Answer me! Stand up!
290
00:08:59,624 --> 00:09:01,558
Don't even think about
sitting on my stage!
291
00:09:01,593 --> 00:09:02,192
Stand up!
292
00:09:02,226 --> 00:09:03,493
Granddad: But my knee hurts.
293
00:09:03,561 --> 00:09:05,296
Get your ass up!
294
00:09:05,330 --> 00:09:09,668
What kind of man doesn't bother
to see his kid for 30 years?!
295
00:09:09,735 --> 00:09:10,635
30 [bleep] years!
296
00:09:10,670 --> 00:09:12,571
Granddad: B-b-b-but I didn't know.
297
00:09:12,605 --> 00:09:14,139
You know what I want to do?
298
00:09:14,173 --> 00:09:16,475
I want to beat the living
[bleep] out of you!
299
00:09:16,543 --> 00:09:17,577
Granddad: Whoa!
300
00:09:17,644 --> 00:09:19,111
Easy there, big fella!
301
00:09:19,146 --> 00:09:20,647
I will not be easy on you!
302
00:09:20,681 --> 00:09:21,815
I [bleep] hate you!
303
00:09:21,849 --> 00:09:24,217
You make me want to -- aah!
304
00:09:24,285 --> 00:09:26,085
[ Audience cheers ]
305
00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:31,491
Before the show, you took a DNA
test, and the results of the DNA
306
00:09:31,525 --> 00:09:37,129
test are... Robert is...
[ theme music plays ]
307
00:09:39,972 --> 00:09:43,208
[ Audience chanting "Steve!" ]
308
00:09:43,242 --> 00:09:46,311
Robert...
You are the father.
309
00:09:46,379 --> 00:09:47,412
[ Audience boos ]
310
00:09:47,447 --> 00:09:49,414
You are the sac from which I come!
311
00:09:49,482 --> 00:09:53,018
You are the sac from -- that's the
-- that's the pair that I came from!
312
00:09:53,052 --> 00:09:53,819
Look at them!
313
00:09:53,853 --> 00:09:55,287
Them the ones that I came from!
314
00:09:55,321 --> 00:09:57,122
I came out that tube right there!
315
00:09:57,190 --> 00:09:58,290
Good looking, man! Yes!
316
00:09:58,358 --> 00:10:00,192
How do you feel now, deadbeat, huh?!
317
00:10:00,226 --> 00:10:01,093
Granddad: Wait.
318
00:10:01,161 --> 00:10:03,195
I didn't know.
I-I -- you finally gonna take
319
00:10:03,263 --> 00:10:06,031
responsibility, or are you gonna
keep making excuses, you pussy
320
00:10:06,099 --> 00:10:07,999
punk bitch?!
321
00:10:08,067 --> 00:10:09,167
Don't call my daddy no pussy punk bitch!
322
00:10:09,202 --> 00:10:10,002
Look at him!
323
00:10:10,036 --> 00:10:12,838
He is a pussy punk bitch!
324
00:10:12,872 --> 00:10:15,207
[ Cheers and applause ]
325
00:10:15,275 --> 00:10:18,911
[ Indistinct shouting ]
326
00:10:18,979 --> 00:10:21,447
Riley: I hate to say this,
granddad, but you did look like
327
00:10:21,481 --> 00:10:22,381
a pussy punk bitch.
328
00:10:22,416 --> 00:10:24,150
You should have stuck with your story.
329
00:10:24,184 --> 00:10:25,451
Granddad: It was a DNA test.
330
00:10:25,519 --> 00:10:26,986
Riley: Well, study next time.
331
00:10:27,020 --> 00:10:27,186
Ow!
332
00:10:27,254 --> 00:10:29,923
Huey: Granddad, there's no
use beating yourself up.
333
00:10:29,957 --> 00:10:32,158
Riley: Yeah, Steve
Wilkos already did that.
334
00:10:32,193 --> 00:10:34,527
Granddad: I can't believe
all this time -- a son.
335
00:10:34,562 --> 00:10:35,528
A son named lando.
336
00:10:35,563 --> 00:10:37,997
Huey: Granddad, it's
not all your fault.
337
00:10:38,065 --> 00:10:40,166
This doesn't make you
a horrible person.
338
00:10:40,201 --> 00:10:41,801
It's all your [bleep] fault!
339
00:10:41,869 --> 00:10:43,103
You're a horrible [bleep]
340
00:10:43,170 --> 00:10:43,803
Person!
341
00:10:43,838 --> 00:10:45,004
Granddad: Oh, why me?
342
00:10:45,072 --> 00:10:47,974
Why did he do this to me?
343
00:10:48,009 --> 00:10:51,078
He just wants a chance to get to
know his dad, which means you
344
00:10:51,112 --> 00:10:53,046
have to be a man and own up to this.
345
00:10:53,081 --> 00:10:55,883
You may not owe him anything
else, but you do owe him that.
346
00:10:55,918 --> 00:10:59,087
Riley: Man, I say be a real nigga
and don't own up to nothin'.
347
00:10:59,154 --> 00:11:02,090
You got it right the first time
-- pretend it never happened.
348
00:11:02,158 --> 00:11:03,358
Who cares about the show?
349
00:11:03,392 --> 00:11:05,360
Anybody asks -- it ain't yours.
350
00:11:05,394 --> 00:11:06,795
[ Knock on door ]
351
00:11:06,829 --> 00:11:09,164
Ruckus: Congratulations, daddy.
352
00:11:09,232 --> 00:11:10,966
Oh, you must be so proud.
353
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:14,870
A 198-pound bouncing baby adult negro.
354
00:11:14,904 --> 00:11:18,139
Boy, they grow up so fast --
Tom: You know, Robert, any
355
00:11:18,173 --> 00:11:21,875
boy can make a baby, but it takes a
real man -- granddad: Shut the [bleep]
356
00:11:21,910 --> 00:11:22,142
Up.
357
00:11:22,177 --> 00:11:23,244
I'm sick of this [bleep]
358
00:11:23,311 --> 00:11:24,411
Hey, hey, don't blame me.
359
00:11:24,446 --> 00:11:25,246
I said "kill him."
360
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:27,414
Granddad: You also told me
to go on that stupid show.
361
00:11:27,482 --> 00:11:29,950
Hey, you ain't tell me you was
actually the man's daddy.
362
00:11:29,984 --> 00:11:30,517
That's bad intel.
363
00:11:30,585 --> 00:11:32,486
I can't be held responsible
for no bad intel.
364
00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:34,488
Granddad: Well, I didn't
know I was his daddy.
365
00:11:34,522 --> 00:11:35,489
Now everybody knows.
366
00:11:35,523 --> 00:11:36,957
What am I supposed to do now?
367
00:11:36,991 --> 00:11:39,893
Way I see it, you got two options.
368
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,160
Recommend, is to work it out.
369
00:11:41,228 --> 00:11:43,396
Granddad: You don't
recommend working it out?
370
00:11:43,430 --> 00:11:44,496
No! But it's a option.
371
00:11:44,564 --> 00:11:45,864
You guys are both grown.
372
00:11:45,899 --> 00:11:48,501
You try to come to terms with it,
get to know each other, make
373
00:11:48,536 --> 00:11:49,502
up for some lost time.
374
00:11:49,570 --> 00:11:52,138
Now, I ain't saying it's gonna
be a easy adjustment, but, I
375
00:11:52,173 --> 00:11:53,840
mean, there's counseling, therapy.
376
00:11:53,875 --> 00:11:57,044
I mean, this person could enrich your
life in ways you can't even imagine.
377
00:11:57,112 --> 00:12:00,315
Granddad: Yeah, Huey said something
like that, but I never listen to him.
378
00:12:00,382 --> 00:12:02,884
Now, I still say the smarter
move is option two, which is
379
00:12:02,952 --> 00:12:05,420
just let me put two in the back
of his head and be done with it.
380
00:12:05,488 --> 00:12:06,421
Granddad: Huh?! No!
381
00:12:06,455 --> 00:12:07,755
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
382
00:12:07,790 --> 00:12:08,789
Don't worry about the fee.
383
00:12:08,857 --> 00:12:10,324
I ain't gonna rape you on the price.
384
00:12:10,392 --> 00:12:11,959
You ain't got to worry about that.
385
00:12:12,027 --> 00:12:13,961
Granddad: No, I don't
want you to kill him.
386
00:12:14,029 --> 00:12:14,395
[ Sighs ]
387
00:12:14,429 --> 00:12:15,862
Maybe I should just work it out.
388
00:12:15,930 --> 00:12:18,398
Look, I can name at least two
or three instances in my life
389
00:12:18,432 --> 00:12:21,100
where I tried to work out some
[bleep] by trying to find some
390
00:12:21,135 --> 00:12:24,370
mutual understanding, and I can
tell you it's always faster and
391
00:12:24,404 --> 00:12:25,904
easier to just kill 'em.
392
00:12:25,938 --> 00:12:26,471
It just is.
393
00:12:26,506 --> 00:12:28,373
Granddad: I really don't
want you to kill him!
394
00:12:28,408 --> 00:12:28,840
Damn.
395
00:12:28,908 --> 00:12:30,475
I don't know why you
keep bringing that up.
396
00:12:30,510 --> 00:12:31,376
A'ight. Up to you.
397
00:12:31,411 --> 00:12:33,212
But I think you should
keep that option open.
398
00:12:33,246 --> 00:12:36,015
Matter of fact, Lando's outside
doing some work on the shrubs.
399
00:12:36,050 --> 00:12:37,216
I'll call him in right now.
400
00:12:37,251 --> 00:12:39,286
Just let me know what
you want to do, a'ight?
401
00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:40,020
Lando!!
402
00:12:40,054 --> 00:12:41,355
Granddad: What?!
403
00:12:41,389 --> 00:12:42,490
L-Lando's here?
404
00:12:42,524 --> 00:12:43,291
No! Wait!
405
00:12:43,358 --> 00:12:44,392
Pops. What's going on?
406
00:12:44,460 --> 00:12:46,260
Uh, h-he wanted to talk to you, lando.
407
00:12:46,295 --> 00:12:48,196
He wants to try to, uh,
uh, work this out.
408
00:12:48,264 --> 00:12:49,130
Granddad: Mm-hmm.
409
00:12:49,198 --> 00:12:51,466
Look, man, I'm sorry about
what happened on that show.
410
00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:54,401
I mean, I didn't know that nigga
Steve Wilkos was a Dick like that.
411
00:12:54,469 --> 00:12:55,803
I swear I don't need nothin'
412
00:12:55,838 --> 00:12:59,006
from you, man, except a chance to be
maybe a small part of your life, man.
413
00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:00,206
Just a small one.
414
00:13:00,241 --> 00:13:01,207
Thank you, rummy, man.
415
00:13:01,275 --> 00:13:04,110
I appreciate you giving of yourself
to help sort this thing out.
416
00:13:04,178 --> 00:13:05,345
Ain't no sweat, partner.
417
00:13:05,379 --> 00:13:06,746
You know I'm in your corner.
418
00:13:06,780 --> 00:13:08,014
So, what's it gonna be, Robert?
419
00:13:08,082 --> 00:13:09,282
Uh, option one or option two?
420
00:13:09,316 --> 00:13:10,350
Granddad: Option one!
421
00:13:10,384 --> 00:13:11,017
Option one!
422
00:13:11,085 --> 00:13:12,019
Option one it is.
423
00:13:12,053 --> 00:13:13,354
Granddad: No, no, no, no, no!
424
00:13:13,388 --> 00:13:14,188
I said option one!
425
00:13:14,256 --> 00:13:14,822
Okay.
426
00:13:14,856 --> 00:13:16,090
Well, which one was option one?
427
00:13:16,158 --> 00:13:17,091
What's option one?
428
00:13:17,159 --> 00:13:18,994
Granddad: Getting to know each other.
429
00:13:19,028 --> 00:13:19,361
Yeah?
430
00:13:19,428 --> 00:13:20,929
You sure that was option one?
431
00:13:20,963 --> 00:13:21,296
Yes!
432
00:13:21,330 --> 00:13:23,265
Let's spend some time
together as a family!
433
00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:24,000
Yeah, boy!
434
00:13:24,067 --> 00:13:25,268
That's what I'm talkin' about!
435
00:13:25,302 --> 00:13:29,005
That's what I always -- man,
look, man, I swear, man,
436
00:13:29,073 --> 00:13:30,974
you'll find I ain't
even that [bleep] up.
437
00:13:31,009 --> 00:13:32,008
Is you sure, Robert?
438
00:13:32,076 --> 00:13:33,176
Granddad: Yes! I'm sure!
439
00:13:33,244 --> 00:13:34,077
I'm sure, too.
440
00:13:34,111 --> 00:13:34,911
[ Gun uncocks ]
441
00:13:34,946 --> 00:13:35,278
Okay.
442
00:13:35,346 --> 00:13:36,380
Then I done done my part.
443
00:13:36,447 --> 00:13:37,447
It's up to y'all now.
444
00:13:37,482 --> 00:13:38,382
Best of luck to you.
445
00:13:38,449 --> 00:13:40,817
[ Voice breaking ] I love you, dad.
446
00:13:40,885 --> 00:13:43,521
Granddad: Boys, lando is going
to be staying with us for
447
00:13:43,555 --> 00:13:46,190
a while because supposedly
it's the right thing to do.
448
00:13:46,258 --> 00:13:49,194
I just hope you boys take this
as a lesson that life can really
449
00:13:49,228 --> 00:13:51,730
suck sometimes and you
should always wear a condom.
450
00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:53,231
I got a condom on right now.
451
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:53,999
Riley: [ gags ]
452
00:13:54,066 --> 00:13:54,966
Granddad: This is it.
453
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,435
You'll be sharing this
room with the boys.
454
00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:57,102
No favorites.
455
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,103
Ha ha! Yeah!
456
00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,171
What up, roomies?
457
00:13:59,238 --> 00:14:02,708
Riley: Yeah, this my half of
the room, and that -- that's
458
00:14:02,776 --> 00:14:04,076
Huey's half of the room.
459
00:14:04,111 --> 00:14:05,278
Well, where my half at?
460
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:08,882
Riley: Your half is right there.
461
00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:12,819
And just 'cause you technically our
Uncle, you ain't ahead of me, nigga.
462
00:14:12,887 --> 00:14:15,789
As of right now, you the
youngest brother -- got that?
463
00:14:15,824 --> 00:14:16,790
I'm number two.
464
00:14:16,825 --> 00:14:17,791
You number three.
465
00:14:17,859 --> 00:14:18,258
Got it?
466
00:14:18,293 --> 00:14:21,095
Two nigga. Three nigga.
467
00:14:21,163 --> 00:14:24,266
Say, man, I promise, man, I'm
gonna respect your space, and I
468
00:14:24,333 --> 00:14:27,436
really, really appreciate, you
know, just being here -- part of
469
00:14:27,470 --> 00:14:28,269
the fam, man.
470
00:14:28,337 --> 00:14:30,972
Huey: I been part of this
family my whole life.
471
00:14:31,006 --> 00:14:33,942
It's an overrated experience.
472
00:14:36,111 --> 00:14:40,848
[ Snoring ]
473
00:14:40,883 --> 00:14:44,252
Give me the three-piece special
and all the fries you can give.
474
00:14:44,319 --> 00:14:45,520
[ Snoring ]
475
00:14:45,554 --> 00:14:47,521
Riley: [ groaning ]
476
00:14:50,959 --> 00:14:53,426
[ Yawning ]
477
00:14:53,494 --> 00:14:54,394
Riley: [ spits ]
478
00:14:54,428 --> 00:14:55,228
Granddad: Aah!
479
00:14:55,296 --> 00:14:56,062
Riley: Ugh!
480
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:58,231
Man, your nigga had the
trillest dream last night.
481
00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:00,766
On the real, it was like y-your
boy had a job at this little
482
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,068
bunny ranch vineyard or some
[bleep] man, so all I could do
483
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:05,504
was lick the ladies' feet after
they was finished stepping on
484
00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:08,741
the grapes, and the bitches would just
love it -- granddad: Look, I can't
485
00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:10,876
concentrate with your thing
flappin' around like that.
486
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:12,044
Go put some clothes on!
487
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,779
Riley: I'm not hungry no more.
488
00:15:13,847 --> 00:15:14,947
Huey: Yeah, I'm done.
489
00:15:14,981 --> 00:15:15,948
Aw, come on, man!
490
00:15:15,983 --> 00:15:16,883
Why y'all trippin'?
491
00:15:16,951 --> 00:15:19,053
Mornin' wood ain't nothin'
to be ashamed of.
492
00:15:19,087 --> 00:15:20,854
That's how you know you alive, man.
493
00:15:20,922 --> 00:15:22,222
I fit to show you you all bitch.
494
00:15:22,290 --> 00:15:23,324
Junior varsity, nigga.
495
00:15:23,391 --> 00:15:24,124
Riley: Ooh.
496
00:15:24,192 --> 00:15:25,025
Nigga.
497
00:15:25,060 --> 00:15:26,460
Young barkley!
498
00:15:26,494 --> 00:15:27,428
[bleep]
499
00:15:27,462 --> 00:15:29,463
Riley: Unh!
500
00:15:29,497 --> 00:15:31,132
Hey! That's a foul!
501
00:15:31,199 --> 00:15:33,033
Man, that ain't no foul, nigga.
502
00:15:33,067 --> 00:15:34,234
That's playoff basketball!
503
00:15:34,302 --> 00:15:36,870
Riley: Yeah, basketball
-- not football, bitch.
504
00:15:36,938 --> 00:15:37,838
Give me the ball.
505
00:15:37,872 --> 00:15:38,772
Unh! Unh! Ooh!
506
00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:41,508
Man, just 'cause you the two
nigga don't mean you can treat
507
00:15:41,576 --> 00:15:42,943
me any kind of way, nigga.
508
00:15:43,011 --> 00:15:45,379
Riley: Huey, you gonna
let him do me like this?
509
00:15:45,413 --> 00:15:46,479
Huey: It's family.
510
00:15:46,514 --> 00:15:48,014
I'm staying out of it.
511
00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:49,315
Aah! Ugh!
512
00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:51,084
Riley: Ooh!
513
00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:52,952
Aah!
514
00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:53,386
Oh!
515
00:15:53,454 --> 00:15:55,755
Huey, help your baby brother, man!
516
00:15:55,790 --> 00:15:56,990
The nigga meltin' me!
517
00:15:57,024 --> 00:15:57,357
Aah!
518
00:15:57,391 --> 00:15:58,224
Riley: Ow!
519
00:15:58,292 --> 00:15:58,925
Ohh!
520
00:15:58,993 --> 00:15:59,926
Riley: Ooh!
521
00:15:59,961 --> 00:16:00,394
Ohh!
522
00:16:00,428 --> 00:16:02,463
Granddad: You guys seem a
little cramped in there.
523
00:16:02,497 --> 00:16:04,365
I'm thinking about giving
lando his own room.
524
00:16:04,399 --> 00:16:05,400
Riley: That's not fair!
525
00:16:05,467 --> 00:16:07,202
Why does the three nigga
get his own room?!
526
00:16:07,269 --> 00:16:08,837
You playin' favorites, granddad!
527
00:16:08,871 --> 00:16:10,104
Granddad: That's not true.
528
00:16:10,172 --> 00:16:11,105
Riley: Oh, yeah?
529
00:16:11,173 --> 00:16:12,307
Lando gets to drink beer.
530
00:16:12,341 --> 00:16:14,176
Lando gets to smoke with cigarettes.
531
00:16:14,210 --> 00:16:16,913
Why you love lando more
than us, granddad?
532
00:16:16,947 --> 00:16:18,814
Hey, hey, what's goin' on, fam?
533
00:16:18,849 --> 00:16:22,219
Granddad: Lando, I'm afraid we gonna
have to, uh, make some changes.
534
00:16:22,286 --> 00:16:23,453
From now on, no smoking.
535
00:16:23,488 --> 00:16:23,987
What?
536
00:16:24,021 --> 00:16:25,822
Granddad: And no more
drinking -- not at home.
537
00:16:25,890 --> 00:16:27,357
You're setting a bad
example for the boys.
538
00:16:27,392 --> 00:16:29,093
Why don't you understand
me for a change?!
539
00:16:29,161 --> 00:16:31,028
Why can't you accept me for
who the [bleep] I am?!
540
00:16:31,063 --> 00:16:32,396
You can't control my life!
541
00:16:32,464 --> 00:16:33,197
I hate you!
542
00:16:33,265 --> 00:16:34,932
I never want to see you again!
543
00:16:34,966 --> 00:16:36,934
I wish I was never your son!
544
00:16:39,938 --> 00:16:40,838
I'm sorry, pops.
545
00:16:40,905 --> 00:16:42,273
I ain't even mean that [bleep]
546
00:16:42,341 --> 00:16:42,807
Man.
547
00:16:42,841 --> 00:16:47,912
It's just, my anger got the best of me, and...
From here on out, man.
548
00:16:47,947 --> 00:16:49,080
I-I need that, you know?
549
00:16:49,115 --> 00:16:51,816
I-I-I need that discipline,
that tough love, you know?
550
00:16:51,884 --> 00:16:53,785
Don't -- don't spare the rod on me.
551
00:16:53,820 --> 00:16:56,021
Matter of fact, man, I'm going
upstairs and get ready for my
552
00:16:56,089 --> 00:16:59,191
ass-whupping right now.
553
00:16:59,259 --> 00:17:01,261
Granddad: Ohh.
554
00:17:03,965 --> 00:17:04,899
Left side, nigga.
555
00:17:04,966 --> 00:17:05,833
Riley: Whatever.
556
00:17:05,901 --> 00:17:07,101
What you gonna do, nigga?
557
00:17:07,168 --> 00:17:08,102
Watch your ass, nigga.
558
00:17:08,169 --> 00:17:09,003
Watch your ass!
559
00:17:09,037 --> 00:17:09,736
Riley: Aah!
560
00:17:09,804 --> 00:17:11,271
Nigga!
561
00:17:11,339 --> 00:17:12,272
Ha! Game, bitch!
562
00:17:12,340 --> 00:17:14,441
Who's the number-two nigga now, nigga?
563
00:17:14,508 --> 00:17:18,077
Nigga, you 7 feet tall bragging
about beating a little kid.
564
00:17:18,145 --> 00:17:20,179
Your game is garbage, and you cheat.
565
00:17:20,246 --> 00:17:22,147
That's how it's a fair match, nigga.
566
00:17:22,181 --> 00:17:24,081
I'm 7 feet garbage
and you 3 feet nice.
567
00:17:24,116 --> 00:17:25,416
Riley: A'ight. That's true.
568
00:17:25,450 --> 00:17:28,819
New game, nigga.
569
00:17:28,887 --> 00:17:31,155
Ruckus: Unh. Huh?
570
00:17:31,222 --> 00:17:33,057
[ Gasps ]
571
00:17:33,091 --> 00:17:34,157
Ohh!
572
00:17:34,192 --> 00:17:36,360
Aah! Lando! Lando!
573
00:17:36,427 --> 00:17:39,997
[ Chuckles nervously ]
574
00:17:40,065 --> 00:17:42,800
[ Tires screech ]
575
00:17:42,834 --> 00:17:43,066
You!
576
00:17:43,134 --> 00:17:46,804
You the one been all over the neighborhood
trying to undercut my bidness.
577
00:17:46,838 --> 00:17:47,338
You see this?
578
00:17:47,405 --> 00:17:48,505
Take a good look at it!
579
00:17:48,539 --> 00:17:52,142
I tried to wipe my ass with it, except
it chafed my gentle under-region.
580
00:17:52,176 --> 00:17:55,078
Hey, man, you ever heard of
free-market principles, nigga?
581
00:17:55,146 --> 00:17:56,313
You can't have no [bleep]
582
00:17:56,347 --> 00:17:58,148
Handyman monopoly out this [bleep]
583
00:17:58,182 --> 00:18:00,150
Granddad: Whoa.
584
00:18:00,217 --> 00:18:02,886
No-appointment-keeping,
black/white ass around here.
585
00:18:02,954 --> 00:18:04,220
Ruckus: Aha!
586
00:18:04,255 --> 00:18:06,022
Et tu, Robert? Et tu?
587
00:18:06,056 --> 00:18:09,158
Now, Robert, I know you mad, but I never
thought you would stoop this low.
588
00:18:09,226 --> 00:18:09,792
[ Grunts ]
589
00:18:09,860 --> 00:18:11,060
Granddad: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
590
00:18:11,094 --> 00:18:12,028
Ruckus, that's enough!
591
00:18:12,062 --> 00:18:13,062
This is your own fault.
592
00:18:13,096 --> 00:18:16,131
Lando's serious about this landscaping
business, and I'm supporting him.
593
00:18:16,165 --> 00:18:17,866
He's good at it, and I'm proud of him.
594
00:18:17,933 --> 00:18:18,933
Pops, you mean that?
595
00:18:18,968 --> 00:18:19,967
Granddad: I do...Son.
596
00:18:20,002 --> 00:18:20,768
Ruckus: Fine!
597
00:18:20,802 --> 00:18:22,770
I hope you niggas are
happy with each other.
598
00:18:22,838 --> 00:18:25,939
Aw, pops, you don't even know what
that meant to a nigga right now.
599
00:18:25,973 --> 00:18:30,477
For the first time in my life, I
understand the true meaning of family.
600
00:18:30,512 --> 00:18:33,780
George Lucas ruined the "Star
Wars" franchise the minute
601
00:18:33,848 --> 00:18:37,118
that wavy-haired jigaboo stepped
on-screen and put his monkey
602
00:18:37,152 --> 00:18:38,819
paws all over princess Leia.
603
00:18:38,853 --> 00:18:43,324
[ Engine revs, tires squeal ]
604
00:18:43,358 --> 00:18:45,226
Didn't I tell you?
605
00:18:45,260 --> 00:18:46,293
Look at us.
606
00:18:46,328 --> 00:18:48,029
One big, beautiful black family.
607
00:18:48,096 --> 00:18:48,996
Huey: Hmph.
608
00:18:49,031 --> 00:18:51,198
I know you smilin' on the inside, huh?
609
00:18:51,233 --> 00:18:52,767
Uh-huh. I can tell, nigga.
610
00:18:52,801 --> 00:18:53,367
I can tell.
611
00:18:53,402 --> 00:18:56,037
You can't bull [bleep]
big baby brother, nigga.
612
00:18:56,071 --> 00:18:59,173
You just as gleeful as a [bleep]
613
00:18:59,208 --> 00:19:01,743
[ Theme music plays ]
614
00:19:01,810 --> 00:19:02,844
Granddad: Okay, gang.
615
00:19:02,878 --> 00:19:03,912
Food is just about ready.
616
00:19:03,946 --> 00:19:05,079
And turn that damn thing off.
617
00:19:05,114 --> 00:19:07,281
You know how I feel about
that "steve Wilkos show."
618
00:19:07,316 --> 00:19:08,015
Okay, pops.
619
00:19:08,049 --> 00:19:09,016
We fit to turn it off.
620
00:19:09,050 --> 00:19:14,222
Hakeem...You... are the father,
and I hate your [bleep] guts!
621
00:19:14,289 --> 00:19:17,758
Yes! Whoo-hoo!
622
00:19:17,826 --> 00:19:19,193
I cannot believe this.
623
00:19:19,260 --> 00:19:21,095
Riley: I knew it. I knew it.
624
00:19:21,129 --> 00:19:22,897
I knew he was the baby daddy.
625
00:19:22,931 --> 00:19:24,465
Man, I-I knew that [bleep]
626
00:19:24,533 --> 00:19:25,033
Too.
627
00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:26,934
Huey: Wait, stop. Freeze it.
628
00:19:26,969 --> 00:19:28,369
All right, bring it back.
629
00:19:28,404 --> 00:19:29,270
There.
630
00:19:29,305 --> 00:19:33,908
"Producers reserve the right
to nullify, falsify, reverse,
631
00:19:33,976 --> 00:19:38,246
and/or otherwise misrepresent
results of DNA paternity tests
632
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:41,082
to preserve the
integrity of the show."
633
00:19:41,117 --> 00:19:44,452
"Actual DNA test results
available on request"?
634
00:19:44,487 --> 00:19:45,086
Huh?!
635
00:19:45,154 --> 00:19:46,154
Riley: Aw.
636
00:19:46,188 --> 00:19:48,289
Granddad: Ohh.
637
00:19:51,494 --> 00:19:52,360
Huey: Hi.
638
00:19:52,428 --> 00:19:56,264
Yeah, um, we're calling about the
DNA test for Robert Freeman.
639
00:19:56,332 --> 00:19:59,100
Yeah -- the "near death
deadbeat" episode.
640
00:19:59,135 --> 00:20:00,068
Mm-hmm. Okay.
641
00:20:00,102 --> 00:20:00,802
Thanks.
642
00:20:00,836 --> 00:20:03,505
[ Telephone beeps ]
643
00:20:03,539 --> 00:20:06,007
Huey: Granddad...
You're not the father.
644
00:20:06,042 --> 00:20:07,008
Granddad: Ohh.
645
00:20:07,042 --> 00:20:08,343
Riley: Aw, man! For real?
646
00:20:08,377 --> 00:20:11,079
You mean we just did all
that bonding for nothin'?
647
00:20:11,113 --> 00:20:13,248
Granddad: No, I-it wasn't for nothing.
648
00:20:13,282 --> 00:20:15,083
I mean -- slow down, playboy.
649
00:20:15,151 --> 00:20:16,451
You don't have say nothin'.
650
00:20:16,518 --> 00:20:17,085
Really.
651
00:20:17,152 --> 00:20:18,953
Huey, Riley, what can I say, man?
652
00:20:18,987 --> 00:20:21,155
Nigga really appreciates y'all
for opening up your home to me,
653
00:20:21,189 --> 00:20:22,256
you know what I'm talkin' about?
654
00:20:22,323 --> 00:20:24,091
But if we ain't family,
what we doin' this for?
655
00:20:24,125 --> 00:20:26,793
I mean, I ain't got
to be boys, you know?
656
00:20:26,861 --> 00:20:29,262
I ain't know no king of pop [bleep]
you know what I'm talkin' about?
657
00:20:29,296 --> 00:20:31,263
I'll just beat it.
658
00:20:34,835 --> 00:20:37,169
Granddad: So, what are
you gonna do now, son?
659
00:20:37,204 --> 00:20:38,037
I mean...Lando.
660
00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:38,871
Who knows?
661
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:42,241
Maybe I'll find that right lady, you
know, start a family of my own.
662
00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:43,342
This was kind of cool.
663
00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:44,143
[ Chuckles ]
664
00:20:44,211 --> 00:20:44,577
A'ight.
665
00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:46,044
You little niggas be easy.
666
00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:47,412
You listen to your granddaddy.
667
00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:50,148
You real lucky to have him.
668
00:20:57,557 --> 00:20:58,891
Huey: You all right?
669
00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:01,059
Granddad: Yeah.
670
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,494
I really dodged a bullet there.
671
00:21:02,529 --> 00:21:04,029
He wasn't a bad guy, though.
672
00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:07,332
I hope he does find his
real daddy one day.
673
00:21:10,903 --> 00:21:14,973
International star and colt 45
spokesperson Billy Dee Williams?!
674
00:21:15,008 --> 00:21:15,407
Yes.
675
00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:17,042
You must be Robert Freeman.
676
00:21:17,076 --> 00:21:20,312
I saw you on "the Steve Wilkos
show" with lando, but I'm afraid
677
00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:22,414
I've got some pretty shocking news.
678
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:23,415
He's not your son.
679
00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:26,318
Granddad: We know that.
680
00:21:26,385 --> 00:21:27,853
Because...He's my son.
681
00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:29,021
Granddad: Your son?
682
00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:30,389
You mean, you and Marietta?
683
00:21:30,424 --> 00:21:30,956
Yes.
684
00:21:31,024 --> 00:21:32,124
She sent me a letter.
685
00:21:32,158 --> 00:21:34,326
It must have been right
before she passed.
686
00:21:34,394 --> 00:21:37,496
I've been trying to find him, but I
couldn't until I saw him on your show.
687
00:21:37,530 --> 00:21:38,130
Is he here?
688
00:21:38,197 --> 00:21:39,131
Granddad: That way.
689
00:21:39,198 --> 00:21:41,032
Huey: If you hurry,
you might catch him.
690
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:42,868
Thanks.
691
00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:45,303
[ Engine turns over, revs ]
692
00:21:45,338 --> 00:21:48,307
Riley: Man, I wish I could be
related to Billy Dee Williams.
693
00:21:48,341 --> 00:21:50,041
He way cooler than you, granddad.
694
00:21:50,109 --> 00:21:52,210
Guess that's why he get
all the bitches first.
695
00:21:52,278 --> 00:21:55,847
Granddad: Boys, it's a
great day for yard work.
696
00:21:55,848 --> 00:22:05,848
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
697
00:22:05,898 --> 00:22:10,448
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
50673
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