All language subtitles for Single Parents - 01x15 - A Cash-Grab Cooked Up By the Crepe Paper Industry (SVA-AVS)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,219 --> 00:00:03,156 Hands off, old man! This is my lasagna! 2 00:00:03,181 --> 00:00:04,244 I don't care if it's the last one. 3 00:00:04,269 --> 00:00:05,802 My fingers touched it first. 4 00:00:05,870 --> 00:00:07,770 You want to review the security footage? 5 00:00:07,872 --> 00:00:10,807 - Yo, isn't that Graham's mom? - Let go! 6 00:00:10,875 --> 00:00:12,397 Yeah. It's Graham's mom. 7 00:00:12,452 --> 00:00:13,401 Angie? 8 00:00:13,452 --> 00:00:15,101 Fine! 9 00:00:15,179 --> 00:00:16,155 Hey. 10 00:00:16,214 --> 00:00:17,241 - Hi! - Hey. 11 00:00:17,281 --> 00:00:18,547 What are you guys doing here? 12 00:00:18,616 --> 00:00:20,315 - Oh, we're just... - Oh, I-I came here by mistake. 13 00:00:20,384 --> 00:00:21,961 This isn't my cart. I asked you a question. 14 00:00:22,031 --> 00:00:23,758 - What are you doing here? - Uh, we're just, um, 15 00:00:23,846 --> 00:00:25,312 doing some Palentine shopping. 16 00:00:25,422 --> 00:00:28,223 Yeah, Will has a, uh, magical night planned for me. 17 00:00:28,259 --> 00:00:31,326 "You make the flowers bloom. You make the stars shine. 18 00:00:31,395 --> 00:00:33,195 Will you be my Palentine?" 19 00:00:34,098 --> 00:00:35,264 I have a pal! 20 00:00:35,332 --> 00:00:37,806 Will, I'm so sorry that I didn't respond before. 21 00:00:37,884 --> 00:00:39,114 I have plans with Owen. 22 00:00:39,220 --> 00:00:41,017 By the way, the flowers you sent had aphids in them. 23 00:00:41,079 --> 00:00:42,638 It took me, like, a week to get them out of my kitchen. 24 00:00:42,740 --> 00:00:45,307 - You got invited, too? - Yeah. 25 00:00:45,409 --> 00:00:46,675 So, Angie, 26 00:00:46,744 --> 00:00:48,410 cooking a romantic meal for Owen, huh? 27 00:00:48,479 --> 00:00:50,345 I see you're making him frozen turkey, 28 00:00:50,414 --> 00:00:53,515 light bulbs, pre-sliced radishes, and... 29 00:00:54,652 --> 00:00:56,752 ...12 boxes of condoms. 30 00:00:56,854 --> 00:00:58,400 Did I say we had plans later 31 00:00:58,470 --> 00:01:01,557 or did I say we had plans later?! 32 00:01:03,994 --> 00:01:05,761 Okay, fine. You got me, okay? 33 00:01:05,863 --> 00:01:07,229 I'm working. 34 00:01:07,331 --> 00:01:09,104 For Beck+Call. The delivery app. 35 00:01:09,179 --> 00:01:10,779 Did you get fired from your law firm? 36 00:01:10,848 --> 00:01:12,814 Let me guess... Drugs? Drinking? 37 00:01:12,917 --> 00:01:13,882 Aged out? 38 00:01:13,951 --> 00:01:16,151 All flattering guesses, but no. 39 00:01:16,220 --> 00:01:18,754 Just a side job... make some extra cash. 40 00:01:18,856 --> 00:01:19,821 Right. 41 00:01:19,890 --> 00:01:21,523 Hey, are... are you in a pinch? 42 00:01:21,592 --> 00:01:22,824 I'd love to help out any way I can. 43 00:01:22,893 --> 00:01:24,693 No, dude. Dude, I'm fine. I'm... 44 00:01:24,795 --> 00:01:26,361 I'm actually kind of good at this. 45 00:01:26,430 --> 00:01:28,864 I think Britney45, 46 00:01:28,933 --> 00:01:30,198 that's my screen name, 47 00:01:30,301 --> 00:01:32,000 is gonna get the "Golden Cart" tonight. 48 00:01:32,069 --> 00:01:34,636 It's a money bonus that Beck+Call gives you 49 00:01:34,705 --> 00:01:36,638 when you get 10 good reviews in a row. 50 00:01:36,707 --> 00:01:38,907 I'm gonna use it to pay for Graham's trip to El Capitan. 51 00:01:39,009 --> 00:01:41,310 Especially since Jackie is all over me for the money. 52 00:01:41,378 --> 00:01:45,280 So, checks can be made out to "Jackie Has a Business, LLC." 53 00:01:45,382 --> 00:01:47,382 Still waiting on a few deposits. 54 00:01:49,253 --> 00:01:51,119 - Hi, Jackie. - Hi, Angie. 55 00:01:51,221 --> 00:01:53,789 Well, it... it is Palentine's Day, 56 00:01:53,857 --> 00:01:56,091 so I don't know if you'd want a couple of pals 57 00:01:56,193 --> 00:01:57,392 to assist you in any way. 58 00:01:57,494 --> 00:01:59,361 Really? You'd do that? 59 00:01:59,463 --> 00:02:00,395 We got your back, Angie. 60 00:02:00,497 --> 00:02:01,530 Oh, wow. 61 00:02:01,632 --> 00:02:03,865 Okay. Uh, thanks. 62 00:02:03,968 --> 00:02:05,559 So, fill this cart with ground beef, 63 00:02:05,637 --> 00:02:08,003 and I'll meet you at the birthday cakes. 64 00:02:08,105 --> 00:02:11,006 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 65 00:02:13,477 --> 00:02:16,845 So, who's coming with me to the sauna? 66 00:02:16,947 --> 00:02:18,947 MacArthur's farewell address... 67 00:02:19,049 --> 00:02:21,083 Reagan's Evil Empire speech... 68 00:02:21,185 --> 00:02:25,153 Jack Palance accepting his Oscar for "City Slickers"... 69 00:02:32,730 --> 00:02:34,629 I was watching "Newhart" reruns. 70 00:02:34,732 --> 00:02:36,331 It got me feeling all frisky. 71 00:02:36,433 --> 00:02:37,466 Big Red. 72 00:02:37,568 --> 00:02:40,869 I-Is this some type of Valentine's surprise? 73 00:02:40,971 --> 00:02:43,238 Pbbt! Valentine's is for dopes. 74 00:02:43,340 --> 00:02:45,907 It's just a cash-grab cooked up by the crepe paper industry. 75 00:02:46,010 --> 00:02:48,043 - Yes. - Now, let's make some sugar. 76 00:02:48,145 --> 00:02:49,177 I-I-I... B-Bu... 77 00:02:49,279 --> 00:02:52,114 L-Listen, unfortunately, I'm occupied. 78 00:02:52,216 --> 00:02:53,782 Oh. Where is she? 79 00:02:53,884 --> 00:02:55,784 I'm sure the three of us can work something out. 80 00:02:55,886 --> 00:02:58,153 Uh, n-no, it's not another woman. 81 00:02:58,255 --> 00:02:59,821 - I'm babysitting. - Gotcha. 82 00:02:59,923 --> 00:03:02,491 I guess I can call the guy that sold me my snowmobile. 83 00:03:02,593 --> 00:03:03,725 - Toodles! - No, no, hey! 84 00:03:03,827 --> 00:03:05,494 You know what? I'll just put them to bed! 85 00:03:05,596 --> 00:03:07,062 - How long we talking? - Not long. 86 00:03:09,767 --> 00:03:11,633 6:08, lights out. 87 00:03:11,735 --> 00:03:13,740 - What about dinner? - Ah, you can have it for breakfast. 88 00:03:13,771 --> 00:03:14,847 What's with D'Amato? 89 00:03:14,872 --> 00:03:17,239 Louisa gave him a personal Valentine. 90 00:03:17,341 --> 00:03:20,475 Poured her heart out in a way that I can only describe as "raw." 91 00:03:20,577 --> 00:03:22,010 And Graham gave her... 92 00:03:22,112 --> 00:03:25,480 A picture of a mouse that said "Cheese be mine!" 93 00:03:25,582 --> 00:03:27,115 It's so first thought. 94 00:03:27,217 --> 00:03:29,117 Oh, Louisa. 95 00:03:29,219 --> 00:03:31,119 I wanted to write her something personal... 96 00:03:31,221 --> 00:03:34,623 ...but alas, I was a coward. 97 00:03:35,859 --> 00:03:37,292 Sounds like a tomorrow problem. 98 00:03:37,394 --> 00:03:38,760 Okay, everybody go to sleep 99 00:03:38,862 --> 00:03:40,695 or just lie there with your eyes closed. 100 00:03:40,798 --> 00:03:42,564 - I don't care. - I'll get to sleep... 101 00:03:42,666 --> 00:03:44,733 as soon as I craft the perfect Valentine. 102 00:03:44,835 --> 00:03:46,468 Until then, I will not rest, 103 00:03:46,537 --> 00:03:48,470 I cannot rest, and I shall not rest! 104 00:03:48,572 --> 00:03:50,072 - This ain't going away. - Emma, Amy, 105 00:03:50,140 --> 00:03:52,040 there's a visitor out there in a trench coat. 106 00:03:52,142 --> 00:03:53,542 - Keep her occupied. - Sir, yes, sir! 107 00:03:53,610 --> 00:03:54,976 Just like we trained for! 108 00:03:55,079 --> 00:03:56,912 Great. Quickly. 109 00:03:57,014 --> 00:03:58,747 Okay, what do you need from me? 110 00:03:58,849 --> 00:04:00,749 Your wisdom, your honesty, 111 00:04:00,818 --> 00:04:02,884 and most of all, your heart. 112 00:04:02,953 --> 00:04:05,187 It's interesting that my kids are friends with you. 113 00:04:11,228 --> 00:04:13,829 I feel like dipping something in tartar sauce. 114 00:04:13,897 --> 00:04:14,830 Right away. 115 00:04:14,898 --> 00:04:16,264 We'll microwave some clam strips. 116 00:04:18,569 --> 00:04:20,836 Come on. Mark's almost here. Time to go. 117 00:04:20,938 --> 00:04:22,871 Oh. I'm not going anywhere. 118 00:04:22,973 --> 00:04:25,140 I can't watch you suffer through another failed romance 119 00:04:25,242 --> 00:04:26,208 with a mediocre man. 120 00:04:26,310 --> 00:04:27,776 That nonsense ends tonight. 121 00:04:34,384 --> 00:04:36,284 Rory. Rory! 122 00:04:38,188 --> 00:04:39,287 Uh, I'm Mark. 123 00:04:39,389 --> 00:04:42,224 Uh, I'm your mom's, Poppy's, um... 124 00:04:42,292 --> 00:04:43,242 driver. 125 00:04:43,293 --> 00:04:47,028 I'm here to take her... to a, uh... 126 00:04:47,097 --> 00:04:50,165 floral design competition, of which this is my first entry. 127 00:04:51,435 --> 00:04:53,235 Oh, Mark, you think I don't know about you? 128 00:04:53,303 --> 00:04:54,269 I know. 129 00:04:54,371 --> 00:04:55,904 I'm not sure how information is shared 130 00:04:56,006 --> 00:04:57,639 between you and your 30 kids, 131 00:04:57,708 --> 00:05:00,041 but my mom and I are very open, 132 00:05:00,110 --> 00:05:03,455 - so please, have a seat. - Okay. 133 00:05:06,150 --> 00:05:08,984 Um, Rory, you and I talked about me dating, 134 00:05:09,086 --> 00:05:10,552 and you said you were okay. 135 00:05:10,654 --> 00:05:12,721 I am. I just don't know if you two are compatible. 136 00:05:12,823 --> 00:05:14,856 So, uh, land your can, Poppy. 137 00:05:14,883 --> 00:05:15,901 It's game time. 138 00:05:15,926 --> 00:05:17,292 What do you mean "game time"? 139 00:05:18,428 --> 00:05:21,530 Welcome to... 140 00:05:21,632 --> 00:05:22,998 "Scenarios!" 141 00:05:29,339 --> 00:05:31,139 All right. 142 00:05:31,241 --> 00:05:33,408 Nine deliveries down, one to go. 143 00:05:33,510 --> 00:05:34,676 Thank you, guys. 144 00:05:34,745 --> 00:05:36,845 Now I can see Owen for Valentine's Day. 145 00:05:36,914 --> 00:05:39,325 Yeah, and now I can see Will for Palentine's Day. 146 00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:41,154 And also every other person Will knows 147 00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:42,784 who didn't have something better to do. 148 00:05:44,488 --> 00:05:45,520 Okay. 149 00:05:52,462 --> 00:05:54,930 That is good. 150 00:05:55,032 --> 00:05:56,064 Oh, that's funny. 151 00:05:56,166 --> 00:05:57,199 Yeah, just give me one second. 152 00:05:57,301 --> 00:05:58,733 Angie? 153 00:06:00,137 --> 00:06:01,536 What are you doing here? 154 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:05,240 Hello! 155 00:06:05,342 --> 00:06:07,108 I'm... here for the party. 156 00:06:07,211 --> 00:06:08,710 You don't remember me RSVPing? 157 00:06:08,812 --> 00:06:10,845 I don't remember inviting you. 158 00:06:10,948 --> 00:06:12,147 But I guess... 159 00:06:12,249 --> 00:06:14,410 - come in? - Huh. 160 00:06:14,496 --> 00:06:17,496 A couples Valentine's party with the parents from school? 161 00:06:17,567 --> 00:06:19,519 I'm in. 162 00:06:21,451 --> 00:06:23,169 Make yourself at home. 163 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:24,942 You're the only unmarried person here. 164 00:06:25,013 --> 00:06:26,479 I hope that doesn't bother you. 165 00:06:26,590 --> 00:06:27,722 Oh, no, no. 166 00:06:27,791 --> 00:06:31,300 It just... frees me up to flirt with all your husbands. 167 00:06:32,596 --> 00:06:35,230 Jared, honey, stay close. 168 00:06:35,277 --> 00:06:37,877 Where are the groceries? 169 00:06:37,946 --> 00:06:40,546 Oh, hon, I told you to stop using Beck+Call. 170 00:06:40,649 --> 00:06:42,115 They hire gutter people. 171 00:06:42,183 --> 00:06:44,651 I mean, there's a reason why they're delivering groceries. 172 00:06:44,753 --> 00:06:46,286 Right? It's just like... 173 00:06:46,388 --> 00:06:48,521 why can't you just be rich? 174 00:06:48,590 --> 00:06:50,056 So true. 175 00:06:50,125 --> 00:06:51,791 I'm writing a scathing review. 176 00:06:51,860 --> 00:06:54,093 I'm gonna bury Britney45. 177 00:06:54,162 --> 00:06:56,162 Will you excuse me? I gotta... 178 00:06:56,264 --> 00:06:57,730 - Spell "delinquent." - "Delinquent"... 179 00:06:57,799 --> 00:06:59,198 - D-E-L-I-N... - Mm-hmm. 180 00:07:01,736 --> 00:07:03,469 Angie, what's taking you so long? 181 00:07:03,538 --> 00:07:05,705 Are you under duress? If so, order a pizza. 182 00:07:05,774 --> 00:07:07,173 I'm not ordering a pizza, okay? 183 00:07:07,242 --> 00:07:08,441 This is Jackie's house! 184 00:07:08,543 --> 00:07:10,443 I told her that I came to her stupid party 185 00:07:10,512 --> 00:07:12,445 'cause I didn't want her to know that I work for Beck+Call. 186 00:07:14,683 --> 00:07:16,349 She gave me a bad review. 187 00:07:16,418 --> 00:07:17,650 Zero stars?! 188 00:07:17,719 --> 00:07:19,585 The bitch torched me! 189 00:07:19,654 --> 00:07:22,322 Just because I threw her groceries in the bushes. 190 00:07:22,390 --> 00:07:23,723 - You what? - You don't get it. 191 00:07:23,792 --> 00:07:25,591 I need that Golden Cart money! 192 00:07:25,694 --> 00:07:27,293 Graham's trip depends on it. 193 00:07:27,362 --> 00:07:30,070 - Aw, Ang... - Don't "Aw, Ang" me! 194 00:07:30,125 --> 00:07:31,602 Just get in here and help me steal her phone 195 00:07:31,648 --> 00:07:32,772 so I can rewrite the review. 196 00:07:34,569 --> 00:07:36,502 Gotta go bail Angie out of another jam. 197 00:07:36,571 --> 00:07:39,005 So, what, you just want me to wait in the car, like a dog? 198 00:07:39,074 --> 00:07:40,341 This is supposed to be our night. 199 00:07:40,375 --> 00:07:41,302 It is. 200 00:07:41,343 --> 00:07:43,176 Y-You know, I guess on Palentine's Day, 201 00:07:43,244 --> 00:07:46,079 it's natural to ask the question, Will... 202 00:07:46,104 --> 00:07:47,090 what are we? 203 00:07:47,115 --> 00:07:48,314 Fine. You want to come? Come. 204 00:07:48,383 --> 00:07:50,416 Do you really want me to come, or are you just saying that? 205 00:07:50,518 --> 00:07:52,385 I really want you to come. 206 00:07:52,454 --> 00:07:55,321 Fine. But we can't go empty-handed. 207 00:07:55,390 --> 00:07:58,091 Oh! I invited you guys, too? 208 00:07:58,159 --> 00:07:59,559 Can't drink and Evite anymore. 209 00:08:00,962 --> 00:08:02,328 Oh, my God, is that crudités? 210 00:08:02,430 --> 00:08:03,997 I ordered some that never came. 211 00:08:04,099 --> 00:08:05,932 Let's party! Mwah! 212 00:08:07,535 --> 00:08:09,335 Should I be concerned? 213 00:08:09,404 --> 00:08:10,737 I-I knew I should've worn a suit. 214 00:08:10,805 --> 00:08:12,271 I-I second-guessed myself at the door. 215 00:08:12,340 --> 00:08:14,040 No, no, it's just Rory being Rory. 216 00:08:14,142 --> 00:08:16,843 He can be overprotective and a little dramatic. 217 00:08:18,279 --> 00:08:20,546 Your "Scenarios!" categories... 218 00:08:20,648 --> 00:08:22,415 "It's All Relatives," 219 00:08:22,517 --> 00:08:23,483 "Robes & Baths," 220 00:08:23,551 --> 00:08:24,584 "Three-Day Weekends," 221 00:08:24,686 --> 00:08:25,651 "Out On The Town," 222 00:08:25,754 --> 00:08:27,653 and "State Capitals." 223 00:08:27,756 --> 00:08:29,288 - Contestant 2? - Hmm... 224 00:08:29,357 --> 00:08:30,556 let's do "Robes & Baths." 225 00:08:32,694 --> 00:08:36,062 "My mom draws you a bath. Do you take the bath?" 226 00:08:36,164 --> 00:08:37,563 Bath... bath... 227 00:08:37,632 --> 00:08:39,830 Do I take the bath? No, I don't think I do. 228 00:08:39,868 --> 00:08:40,877 - Yes. - Correct. 229 00:08:40,902 --> 00:08:42,535 In this scenario, my mom drew you a bath 230 00:08:42,604 --> 00:08:43,836 as a test because... 231 00:08:43,938 --> 00:08:45,171 "Men who take baths are weird." 232 00:08:45,273 --> 00:08:46,873 - Mm. - Okay, um, 233 00:08:46,941 --> 00:08:47,974 I'll take "State Capitals." 234 00:08:48,943 --> 00:08:51,310 "What is the state capital of Oregon?" 235 00:08:51,413 --> 00:08:52,945 Okay, how is that a scenario? 236 00:08:53,014 --> 00:08:54,580 - Fine. Salem. Right? - Yeah. 237 00:08:54,649 --> 00:08:56,449 See? We'll be done in no time. 238 00:08:56,551 --> 00:08:57,884 I'll try "State Capitals." 239 00:08:57,986 --> 00:08:59,452 Multiple choice! 240 00:08:59,554 --> 00:09:01,854 "You and my mom are in Topeka, Kansas, for a wedding. 241 00:09:01,923 --> 00:09:03,523 You've just learned that the theme is 'The Beach, ' 242 00:09:03,591 --> 00:09:05,391 and neither of you have packed the proper clothes. 243 00:09:05,460 --> 00:09:08,094 Do you 'A'... pretend that you never got the invitation, 244 00:09:08,196 --> 00:09:09,529 'B'... buy beach clothes, 245 00:09:09,631 --> 00:09:11,097 'C'... purposefully drive your rental car 246 00:09:11,166 --> 00:09:12,165 off the road?" 247 00:09:12,267 --> 00:09:13,933 - I'll go with... - Hold your horses, cowboy. 248 00:09:14,002 --> 00:09:15,034 The answers go to "N." 249 00:09:15,136 --> 00:09:17,403 "'D'... get into a fight." 250 00:09:19,207 --> 00:09:21,407 So, here's the plan... Jackie has been on her phone all night, 251 00:09:21,454 --> 00:09:22,548 and she keeps Instagramming the party 252 00:09:22,587 --> 00:09:23,643 - and tagging famous people - Aha! 253 00:09:23,745 --> 00:09:24,911 so everyone thinks they're here. 254 00:09:25,013 --> 00:09:27,046 Like Josh Hartnett would really come here. 255 00:09:27,115 --> 00:09:29,048 Anyway, when she puts it down, 256 00:09:29,150 --> 00:09:30,550 you distract her, and I'll grab it. 257 00:09:30,652 --> 00:09:31,684 - Well, how do we distract her? - I don't know. 258 00:09:31,786 --> 00:09:33,619 Ask her about the show her husband writes for. 259 00:09:33,703 --> 00:09:34,981 "Gotham"? It's the last season. 260 00:09:35,083 --> 00:09:36,382 I don't want any spoilers. Mnh-mnh. 261 00:09:36,484 --> 00:09:38,284 Agreed. This is nuts, Angie. 262 00:09:38,386 --> 00:09:40,086 You're an amazing mom who's working really hard 263 00:09:40,164 --> 00:09:41,888 to make sure her son has a great life. 264 00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:43,189 Yeah, just tell her the truth. 265 00:09:43,258 --> 00:09:44,290 You're proud as hell, 266 00:09:44,359 --> 00:09:45,491 just like the cast and crew of "Gotham." 267 00:09:45,593 --> 00:09:46,592 Or at least they should be. 268 00:09:46,694 --> 00:09:48,461 I'm not... proud, okay? 269 00:09:48,563 --> 00:09:49,529 I'm embarrassed. 270 00:09:49,597 --> 00:09:52,131 This is all embarrassing. 271 00:09:52,233 --> 00:09:53,399 I haven't even told Owen. 272 00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:54,867 Angie, I'm so sorry. 273 00:09:54,936 --> 00:09:56,335 Do you want to talk about it? 274 00:09:56,404 --> 00:09:58,538 No! I'm gonna do the only thing I can do, 275 00:09:58,606 --> 00:10:00,339 and that's steal Jackie's phone. 276 00:10:00,408 --> 00:10:02,041 Oh, she just put it down! Hot screen! Hot screen! 277 00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:03,943 - Hot screen! This way. - Ow, ow, ow. 278 00:10:04,045 --> 00:10:04,911 - Jackie! - Hey. 279 00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:06,579 - Hi! - So, again, uh, 280 00:10:06,681 --> 00:10:09,499 - such a great party... really... - Aww, thanks. 281 00:10:09,553 --> 00:10:10,999 ...and to think we almost didn't come. 282 00:10:11,053 --> 00:10:13,085 - That's really funny. - That's funny. 283 00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:14,287 Oh, I'm so sorry 284 00:10:14,355 --> 00:10:16,122 you didn't find anyone for your Palentine's Day thing. 285 00:10:16,191 --> 00:10:18,691 Jared was so bummed he couldn't make it. 286 00:10:18,793 --> 00:10:20,826 - Wait, you asked Jared? - Now is not the time, Miggy. 287 00:10:20,895 --> 00:10:23,229 - Okay, cool. Mm-hmm. - What's going on with you guys? 288 00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:24,797 - Nothing. - Nothing. 289 00:10:24,899 --> 00:10:26,866 Nothing. It's nothing. 290 00:10:26,968 --> 00:10:27,934 Okay, um... 291 00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:29,402 - Well, I'm gonna go mingle. - Mm-hmm. 292 00:10:29,470 --> 00:10:30,903 Maybe you guys just stay right here. 293 00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:32,572 - Right here. Word. Uh... - Okay, great. 294 00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:36,275 - Jackie! Hi! Oh! - Why are we hugging? 295 00:10:36,377 --> 00:10:39,478 'Cause it's Valentine's Day. 296 00:10:41,749 --> 00:10:42,982 Another Negroni, ma'am? 297 00:10:43,084 --> 00:10:44,951 Five's my limit, ladies. 298 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:47,887 What's taking your old man so long? 299 00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:51,691 We've been at this for an hour, okay? 300 00:10:51,759 --> 00:10:54,160 The boy's a mess. New strategy. 301 00:10:54,262 --> 00:10:56,796 Graham, why don't you... why don't you come sit down with us. 302 00:10:56,898 --> 00:10:57,964 All right. 303 00:10:58,032 --> 00:11:00,066 You know, when I want to show someone that I care, 304 00:11:00,168 --> 00:11:01,434 I can count on a gift 305 00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:03,669 that's decorative and healthy... 306 00:11:03,738 --> 00:11:06,739 Fogerty, are you pitching me Edible Arrangements?! 307 00:11:06,808 --> 00:11:08,274 That's an easy out. 308 00:11:08,343 --> 00:11:11,177 But with Louisa, there are no easy outs. 309 00:11:11,246 --> 00:11:13,746 Look at the card she gave me. 310 00:11:13,848 --> 00:11:16,749 "Love is a puzzle. I've gathered the clues. 311 00:11:16,851 --> 00:11:18,751 Now I know the answer is Y-O-U." 312 00:11:18,853 --> 00:11:20,353 - Terrific. - And then on the inside, 313 00:11:20,421 --> 00:11:22,021 there's, like, an 80-letter palindrome. 314 00:11:22,090 --> 00:11:24,257 She's a genius of love, 315 00:11:24,359 --> 00:11:25,725 a master of riddles. 316 00:11:25,827 --> 00:11:28,527 I'm just a guy who still can't read a clock. 317 00:11:28,596 --> 00:11:30,296 4:00 A.M.? 318 00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:31,864 I'm ruined. 319 00:11:31,966 --> 00:11:33,366 Ding dong. 320 00:11:33,434 --> 00:11:35,334 - Oh! - Look, uh, I'm gonna take a hike. 321 00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:37,303 I didn't come here tonight to kick it with the "Peanuts" gang. 322 00:11:37,372 --> 00:11:38,938 I-I know, and I'm sorry. It's just... 323 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:42,375 This kid here has it really bad for some twist named Louisa. 324 00:11:42,443 --> 00:11:44,644 But we're almost out of the weeds. 325 00:11:44,712 --> 00:11:47,013 The sooner we solve it, the sooner we hit the road to Sheetsville? 326 00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:48,681 Where you will be the mayor. 327 00:11:48,783 --> 00:11:49,782 Easy peasy! 328 00:11:49,851 --> 00:11:51,450 Take it from a travel agent who has booked 329 00:11:51,552 --> 00:11:54,553 over 4,800 unforgettable couples cruises. 330 00:11:54,656 --> 00:11:57,023 All I need is like 14 bucks 331 00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:58,524 and the holiday aisle at Rite Aid. 332 00:11:58,626 --> 00:12:00,326 Yes, my queen. 333 00:12:00,395 --> 00:12:01,861 "Hello, Internet"? 334 00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:03,195 "To whom it may concern"? 335 00:12:03,298 --> 00:12:05,531 Okay, clearly, you've never written a review before. 336 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:08,134 Okay, just say it was hands down the best service you ever had. 337 00:12:08,236 --> 00:12:09,969 - Shopping cart emoji. - Look, if anybody can capture 338 00:12:10,071 --> 00:12:12,038 the voice of a 40-year-old woman, it's me. 339 00:12:12,140 --> 00:12:13,773 Dude, I just thought we could do this together. 340 00:12:13,875 --> 00:12:15,007 You know, like pals. 341 00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:16,409 Whoa. 342 00:12:16,511 --> 00:12:18,244 Palentine's Day is drama-free! 343 00:12:18,346 --> 00:12:19,812 Dude, you're the one that's bringing the drama! 344 00:12:19,914 --> 00:12:21,914 I'm only here because everyone else you asked said no. 345 00:12:21,983 --> 00:12:23,215 Sorry for thinking 346 00:12:23,239 --> 00:12:24,618 you actually wanted me around. 347 00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:26,886 Miggy, please don't make this about you. This is about Angie. 348 00:12:26,988 --> 00:12:29,055 And how this... 349 00:12:29,157 --> 00:12:33,192 was hands down the best service I've ever had! 350 00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:34,627 - What? - Oh, there's a shopping cart emoji. 351 00:12:34,729 --> 00:12:36,028 - That's so cute. - I literally just said that. 352 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:37,730 It's like you don't even see me! 353 00:12:37,832 --> 00:12:38,864 Hey. You guys. 354 00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:40,299 Did you fix the... 355 00:12:42,337 --> 00:12:44,637 ...fix... the... toilet? 356 00:12:44,739 --> 00:12:45,671 They fix... 357 00:12:45,773 --> 00:12:47,306 They broke the toilet, 358 00:12:47,408 --> 00:12:48,841 and now they're fixing it. 359 00:12:48,943 --> 00:12:51,377 Angie, I can't find my phone. Let me borrow yours. 360 00:12:52,513 --> 00:12:54,301 Gimme your phone. 361 00:12:54,364 --> 00:12:55,381 I have to call it. 362 00:12:57,118 --> 00:12:58,858 - ♪ Oh! ♪ - Are you playing "Rhythm of the Night"? 363 00:12:58,943 --> 00:12:59,992 Great song, but not the time. 364 00:13:00,068 --> 00:13:01,350 I'm not. It's coming from Jackie's phone. 365 00:13:01,420 --> 00:13:02,421 But I love it, too. 366 00:13:02,523 --> 00:13:03,889 ♪ Forget about the worries on your mind ♪ 367 00:13:03,991 --> 00:13:05,424 - I... - ♪ You can leave them all behind ♪ 368 00:13:05,526 --> 00:13:07,712 ♪ To the beat of the rhythm of the night ♪ 369 00:13:07,805 --> 00:13:09,862 - ♪ Oh, the rhythm... ♪ - JACKIE: What are you doing? 370 00:13:09,964 --> 00:13:11,985 ♪ ...the night ♪ 371 00:13:12,714 --> 00:13:15,136 To be completely honest, Rory, no, I wouldn't go 372 00:13:15,199 --> 00:13:17,567 to Mark's grandma's funeral if it was on your birthday. 373 00:13:17,669 --> 00:13:20,635 Even if he was visiting Santa Fe? I don't get it. 374 00:13:20,697 --> 00:13:21,938 Well, clearly! 375 00:13:21,994 --> 00:13:23,493 I mean, Rory's birthday is sacred, 376 00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:25,136 no matter what state capital he's in. 377 00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:27,472 Well, folks, they came out swinging, but... 378 00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:30,208 Wait. What's that? Wow. 379 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,177 I am being told that this is the worst score 380 00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:33,278 in "Scenarios!" history. 381 00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:35,680 We'll return after this commercial. 382 00:13:35,749 --> 00:13:38,750 Friends, end-of-life planning isn't easy, 383 00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:40,018 but it can be fun. 384 00:13:40,086 --> 00:13:43,888 At Rory Banks Funeral Home, the party never ends. 385 00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:45,223 This is gonna sound crazy, 386 00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:46,591 but "Scenarios!" has made me realize 387 00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:48,526 that we really aren't compatible. 388 00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:51,329 - Right? It's weirdly illuminating. - Yeah. Yeah! 389 00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:52,931 I mean, as insane as it is, 390 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,599 it's made me see us in a whole new light. 391 00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:56,134 - Mm-hmm. - You know, when you said 392 00:13:56,189 --> 00:13:57,540 your dream scenario is to open up 393 00:13:57,595 --> 00:13:59,189 your own private investigation agency... 394 00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:00,171 We'd do it as a team. 395 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,472 Yeah, I heard you the first time. 396 00:14:01,575 --> 00:14:04,209 I'm sorry, but I just don't see myself there. 397 00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:06,177 For what it's worth, I loved all two weeks of this. 398 00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:07,212 Me too. 399 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,546 And I'm glad we got out while it's good. 400 00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:11,182 All right, come on. We're back from commercials. 401 00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:12,517 Time for Round Three! 402 00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:14,686 Rory, some good news. We're gonna skip Round Three. 403 00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:16,554 Mark and I decided to stop seeing each other, so... 404 00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:18,022 All thanks to "Scenarios!" 405 00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:19,657 Yeah. It's a great game, Rory. 406 00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:21,426 Thanks. 407 00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:24,162 Okay. That's our show. 408 00:14:24,231 --> 00:14:25,563 Guests of "Scenarios!" get to stay 409 00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:27,532 at the world-famous Century Plaza Hotel. 410 00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:28,900 Is this part of Round Three? 411 00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:30,268 I don't think so. 412 00:14:30,337 --> 00:14:32,871 Someone want to tell me what the hell is going on here? 413 00:14:32,916 --> 00:14:33,838 Will? 414 00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:38,042 All right, Jackie, the person who was supposed to deliver 415 00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:39,644 your groceries tonight is me. 416 00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:41,446 I'm Britney45. 417 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,314 Wait, seriously? 418 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,749 No! 419 00:14:44,818 --> 00:14:47,552 No, Will was just helping a friend in need. 420 00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,954 Me. I am Britney45. 421 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:53,256 That's right, 44 other Britneys joined Beck+Call before me. 422 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:55,286 Look, I have no idea what's happening, 423 00:14:55,388 --> 00:14:57,055 but I have a party downstairs, and I... 424 00:14:57,157 --> 00:14:58,823 Look, I'm Britney45! 425 00:14:58,925 --> 00:15:01,025 And I did a garbage job with your groceries! 426 00:15:01,094 --> 00:15:04,162 Thank you, guys, but I-I gotta own this. 427 00:15:04,230 --> 00:15:09,067 Jackie, I moonlight as a grocery delivery person. 428 00:15:09,169 --> 00:15:11,135 Things aren't easy. 429 00:15:11,204 --> 00:15:13,071 Money is tight as is, and then the class trip comes up, 430 00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:16,407 and there's always some new thing to pay for. 431 00:15:16,476 --> 00:15:20,778 I'm at a low-level freak out at all times. 432 00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:23,681 So, you know, if you want to give me zero stars, 433 00:15:23,783 --> 00:15:24,816 go right ahead. 434 00:15:24,884 --> 00:15:26,718 I deal with harder crap every day. 435 00:15:26,820 --> 00:15:28,920 Oh, Angie. 436 00:15:28,989 --> 00:15:30,121 I hear you. 437 00:15:30,223 --> 00:15:33,024 Yeah, it may seem like I have the perfect life 438 00:15:33,126 --> 00:15:34,993 and I have the perfect house, 439 00:15:35,095 --> 00:15:38,296 but there's a reason I started Jackie Has a Business, LLC. 440 00:15:38,398 --> 00:15:41,699 Financially, things with Jared and me aren't great. 441 00:15:41,801 --> 00:15:43,868 Oh. I... 442 00:15:43,937 --> 00:15:45,903 I had no idea. 443 00:15:45,972 --> 00:15:47,171 You really get it. 444 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,741 "Gotham" isn't syndicating well in South America. 445 00:15:49,843 --> 00:15:52,543 I might have to let go of my Social Media Assistant. 446 00:15:52,612 --> 00:15:55,179 Yeah, no, no, that's... Your thing is different. 447 00:15:55,281 --> 00:15:56,280 No, we're in the exact same boat. 448 00:15:56,383 --> 00:15:57,382 I'm giving you five stars. 449 00:15:57,484 --> 00:15:59,817 No, I don't want your pity stars, okay? 450 00:15:59,886 --> 00:16:01,886 - Psh. - You can give me four stars. 451 00:16:01,988 --> 00:16:03,554 If you could avoid saying 452 00:16:03,656 --> 00:16:06,057 that I threw your food in the bushes, that'd be great. 453 00:16:06,126 --> 00:16:07,191 You threw my food in the bushes? 454 00:16:07,260 --> 00:16:09,060 Three stars is fine. 455 00:16:10,330 --> 00:16:11,929 No woman can resist a plush animal. 456 00:16:12,032 --> 00:16:14,432 I got six in my car rear window right now. 457 00:16:14,501 --> 00:16:16,701 Now get out of here, you handsome little devil. 458 00:16:16,770 --> 00:16:18,236 Wai... Wai... Ba... Hold on. 459 00:16:20,874 --> 00:16:22,840 God, kids are nasty. 460 00:16:24,677 --> 00:16:26,044 - Pecan? - No. 461 00:16:26,112 --> 00:16:26,978 - Caramel? - No. 462 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:28,679 - Cherry cordial? - Come to Mama. 463 00:16:32,485 --> 00:16:34,685 - Douglas, right? - Yeah. 464 00:16:34,788 --> 00:16:36,754 And this is... Emma... or Amy. 465 00:16:36,856 --> 00:16:38,156 That's a boy, Phil. 466 00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:41,359 Would it be possible for him to talk to Louisa, please? 467 00:16:41,428 --> 00:16:44,629 Sure. Um, she's in her rocking chair. 468 00:16:44,697 --> 00:16:46,564 What if she doesn't like my Valentine? 469 00:16:46,666 --> 00:16:48,366 Well, you see, that doesn't matter, 470 00:16:48,468 --> 00:16:50,068 because she likes you. 471 00:16:50,136 --> 00:16:52,303 And if you start to panic, just tell her... 472 00:16:56,976 --> 00:16:57,875 Greetings. 473 00:16:57,944 --> 00:16:58,876 I'll leave you to it. 474 00:17:01,081 --> 00:17:03,147 Louisa, you're a 10. 475 00:17:03,216 --> 00:17:07,151 If you're up for it, I know a great place for a steak. 476 00:17:07,253 --> 00:17:10,154 If you're a vegetarian, there's a salad bar. 477 00:17:10,223 --> 00:17:13,624 Ranch dressing as thick as wet concrete. 478 00:17:13,726 --> 00:17:15,893 So be mine, you gorgeous dame. 479 00:17:15,995 --> 00:17:17,361 Glory be. 480 00:17:17,464 --> 00:17:18,796 Whoa. 481 00:17:18,898 --> 00:17:21,399 Sounds like someone I know. 482 00:17:21,468 --> 00:17:23,267 Oh, I might've given him a line or two, 483 00:17:23,369 --> 00:17:25,236 but I'm saving my best stuff for you. 484 00:17:26,639 --> 00:17:28,406 I have a girlfriend! 485 00:17:32,011 --> 00:17:32,777 Ror? 486 00:17:32,879 --> 00:17:34,579 Hello? Who's there? 487 00:17:34,681 --> 00:17:36,347 What did I tell you last week? 488 00:17:36,449 --> 00:17:38,216 No sleep mask while Mom is talking. 489 00:17:38,318 --> 00:17:39,016 Mm-hmm. 490 00:17:39,119 --> 00:17:41,185 Baby, I'm confused. 491 00:17:41,287 --> 00:17:43,654 Were you rooting for me and Mark to be together? 492 00:17:43,723 --> 00:17:47,325 I mean, no, I set out to destroy your relationship, but... 493 00:17:48,695 --> 00:17:50,194 ...then I started having fun with you guys, 494 00:17:50,296 --> 00:17:53,364 and I secretly was hoping for it to work out. 495 00:17:53,466 --> 00:17:55,233 You deserve to find love, Mom. 496 00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:56,667 I will. 497 00:17:56,736 --> 00:17:58,469 And hey, now that we have "Scenarios!", 498 00:17:58,538 --> 00:17:59,670 I might find somebody sooner. 499 00:17:59,772 --> 00:18:03,274 But today, will you be my Valentine? 500 00:18:03,343 --> 00:18:04,308 I'd love to. 501 00:18:04,410 --> 00:18:07,178 But we should play "Scenarios!" just to make sure it's right. 502 00:18:07,235 --> 00:18:08,312 Okay, Rory Denzel Banks, 503 00:18:08,381 --> 00:18:10,715 I'm not playing "Scenarios!" again today. 504 00:18:10,817 --> 00:18:12,483 Look, when I headed out tonight, 505 00:18:12,585 --> 00:18:13,784 I didn't care who I made it with. 506 00:18:13,887 --> 00:18:15,219 I got in my car, and I drove to the house 507 00:18:15,321 --> 00:18:17,121 of the first man I could think of. 508 00:18:17,223 --> 00:18:19,390 His wife was home, so then I tried you. 509 00:18:19,492 --> 00:18:20,825 An honor. 510 00:18:20,894 --> 00:18:23,127 But when I saw you help out that little rat, 511 00:18:23,196 --> 00:18:24,729 something shifted. 512 00:18:24,831 --> 00:18:26,264 And then that business on the porch. 513 00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:28,599 Doc, I was a puddle. 514 00:18:28,701 --> 00:18:30,368 I wanna make love to you. 515 00:18:30,470 --> 00:18:31,502 Then it's settled. 516 00:18:31,604 --> 00:18:33,938 - But not tonight. - Not tonight. 517 00:18:34,007 --> 00:18:36,741 I want to slow things down, make it special. 518 00:18:36,809 --> 00:18:40,278 I want a romance with the simmering heat 519 00:18:40,346 --> 00:18:42,680 of a four-day/three-night to Ensenada. 520 00:18:42,782 --> 00:18:45,193 So, are you willing to wait? 521 00:18:45,272 --> 00:18:47,185 For you? Always. 522 00:18:47,253 --> 00:18:48,553 I mean, why do it tonight? 523 00:18:48,655 --> 00:18:50,588 Valentine's Day is for dopes, huh? 524 00:18:52,158 --> 00:18:53,591 I'll call you tomorrow. 525 00:18:53,693 --> 00:18:54,759 Mnh. 526 00:18:55,862 --> 00:18:57,595 I leave in the A.M. for a six-month cruise 527 00:18:57,697 --> 00:18:58,796 to the Panama Canal. 528 00:18:58,898 --> 00:19:00,331 Half off. You don't say no to that. 529 00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:01,312 I would. 530 00:19:01,337 --> 00:19:02,833 Douglas, I can't sleep. 531 00:19:03,870 --> 00:19:05,436 Looks like you got your hands full. 532 00:19:05,505 --> 00:19:08,239 I'm gonna go home and finish a hoagie I got in my fridge. 533 00:19:08,308 --> 00:19:10,074 - W... W... - Mwah. 534 00:19:11,811 --> 00:19:12,743 Call me. 535 00:19:17,584 --> 00:19:19,350 God, you're so little. 536 00:19:22,188 --> 00:19:23,321 I'm feeling something. 537 00:19:23,423 --> 00:19:25,156 I think it's... 538 00:19:25,258 --> 00:19:26,190 jealousy? 539 00:19:26,292 --> 00:19:27,558 I... 540 00:19:27,660 --> 00:19:29,060 I like Graham. 541 00:19:29,162 --> 00:19:30,861 Everybody likes Graham. 542 00:19:30,964 --> 00:19:33,197 He's a lovable sad sack. 543 00:19:33,299 --> 00:19:34,732 No. 544 00:19:34,834 --> 00:19:36,867 I think I like like Graham. 545 00:19:37,904 --> 00:19:40,504 How are you kids so emotionally available? 546 00:19:40,607 --> 00:19:42,558 When I was seven, I had a job. 547 00:19:46,991 --> 00:19:48,424 Thanks for dropping me, you guys. 548 00:19:48,492 --> 00:19:49,758 I really hope he's still awake. 549 00:19:49,878 --> 00:19:51,026 Please say hello to Owen for us. 550 00:19:51,095 --> 00:19:52,728 But time it in a way it's not weird. 551 00:19:52,797 --> 00:19:55,340 Like before the sex or way, way after! 552 00:19:55,411 --> 00:19:56,582 - You feel me? - Okay, I got it. 553 00:19:56,661 --> 00:19:59,201 - Okay. - Thanks for tonight, guys. Really. 554 00:19:59,303 --> 00:20:00,669 This was... 555 00:20:00,738 --> 00:20:01,861 not normal. 556 00:20:04,236 --> 00:20:05,502 I guess now that you've seen me 557 00:20:05,536 --> 00:20:06,904 as a loser delivery person, 558 00:20:06,936 --> 00:20:08,238 you probably look at me differently. 559 00:20:08,271 --> 00:20:09,190 Yeah. 560 00:20:09,221 --> 00:20:11,354 I think that you're pretty remarkable. 561 00:20:11,432 --> 00:20:12,744 Oh, my God, you're such a dork. 562 00:20:12,777 --> 00:20:14,010 You're welcome. 563 00:20:14,043 --> 00:20:15,175 Happy Palentine's Day. 564 00:20:15,221 --> 00:20:16,751 - Thank you! Good night! - Bye, pal! 565 00:20:16,806 --> 00:20:17,941 Have fun! 566 00:20:17,975 --> 00:20:20,144 We'll make sure you get in safe! 567 00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:21,978 Palentine's Day isn't officially over. 568 00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:23,880 Yeah, it is. It's almost midnight. 569 00:20:23,913 --> 00:20:25,882 - Not in Hawaii. - You're taking me to Hawaii?! 570 00:20:25,916 --> 00:20:28,154 - No, that's... not logical. - Oh... 571 00:20:28,179 --> 00:20:30,187 But there's still time to do this right. 572 00:20:30,218 --> 00:20:31,155 ♪ Oh ♪ 573 00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:33,357 ♪ To the beat of the rhythm of the night ♪ 574 00:20:33,390 --> 00:20:35,626 ♪ Dance until the morning light ♪ 575 00:20:35,659 --> 00:20:37,527 ♪ Forget about the worries on your mind ♪ 576 00:20:37,561 --> 00:20:39,955 ♪ You can leave them all behind ♪ 577 00:20:39,980 --> 00:20:41,532 ♪ To the beat of the rhythm of the night ♪ 578 00:20:41,564 --> 00:20:45,736 ♪ Oh, the rhythm of the night ♪ 579 00:20:45,768 --> 00:20:46,836 ♪ Oh, oh ♪ 580 00:20:46,870 --> 00:20:48,539 Sorry, miss. 581 00:20:48,572 --> 00:20:50,151 Mmm. Pasta. 582 00:20:50,176 --> 00:20:51,375 Sorry. 583 00:20:56,910 --> 00:21:01,910 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 42192

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