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1
00:00:03,712 --> 00:00:05,788
I can't believe you watch that show.
2
00:00:05,789 --> 00:00:07,865
I think is funny.
I like the orange guy.
3
00:00:07,866 --> 00:00:10,076
I told you dad, that is Snooky.
4
00:00:10,077 --> 00:00:12,083
He is funny.
5
00:00:12,084 --> 00:00:15,085
Tim, you wanna watch these
idiots on Jersey Shore?
6
00:00:15,086 --> 00:00:19,006
I'd love to, but I'm about
to hand scrub your delicates.
7
00:00:19,007 --> 00:00:21,809
So I've got my own situation.
8
00:00:21,810 --> 00:00:23,744
Do you want more money?
9
00:00:23,745 --> 00:00:25,012
Wish for it.
10
00:00:25,013 --> 00:00:26,614
Do you want love?
11
00:00:26,615 --> 00:00:27,798
Wish for it.
12
00:00:27,799 --> 00:00:30,651
- Do you want a better job?
- Wish for it.
13
00:00:30,652 --> 00:00:33,287
- Who the hell is this?
- I'm guessing it's life coach
14
00:00:33,288 --> 00:00:35,289
and best-selling author
Charlotte Ann Robinson.
15
00:00:35,290 --> 00:00:38,059
Hi. I'm life coach and best-selling author
16
00:00:38,060 --> 00:00:39,560
Charlotte Ann Robinson.
17
00:00:39,561 --> 00:00:41,429
But I could be wrong.
18
00:00:41,430 --> 00:00:44,899
All this can be yours
by using my wish method...
19
00:00:44,900 --> 00:00:46,834
W-i-s-h.
20
00:00:46,835 --> 00:00:51,205
Want it... see it... happen.
21
00:00:51,206 --> 00:00:52,940
Wish!
22
00:00:52,941 --> 00:00:55,109
I want... to see...
23
00:00:55,110 --> 00:00:57,645
The Guidos Fight!
24
00:00:57,646 --> 00:01:01,182
Join me for my
amazing seminar at the...
25
00:01:01,183 --> 00:01:03,517
San Diego Airport suites hotel.
26
00:01:03,518 --> 00:01:05,753
This Friday through Monday.
27
00:01:05,754 --> 00:01:08,923
I guarantee your lives
will be changed forever.
28
00:01:08,924 --> 00:01:11,492
I wish to see you there.
29
00:01:11,493 --> 00:01:14,028
- What a bunch of garbage.
- I know!
30
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Whant it. See it. Happen.
31
00:01:17,266 --> 00:01:18,833
She dropped an "I".
32
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It's not wish. It's wisih.
33
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It's stupid.
34
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You want something, you work for it.
35
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You don't wisih for it.
36
00:01:26,742 --> 00:01:30,778
What mindless rubes would
fall for such an obvious scam?
37
00:01:30,779 --> 00:01:33,514
Oh, my God, we just came
back from the Wish seminar,
38
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and it was amazing.
39
00:01:36,018 --> 00:01:37,484
Our lives were changed forever.
40
00:01:37,485 --> 00:01:38,986
And all we had to do was...
41
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Wish.
42
00:01:40,622 --> 00:01:42,089
Well, wish and quit our jobs.
43
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Wait... what?
44
00:01:43,208 --> 00:01:44,458
Why did you guys quit your jobs?
45
00:01:44,459 --> 00:01:46,494
Because our wish is to
start our own business.
46
00:01:46,495 --> 00:01:48,562
Well, do you have anything else lined up?
47
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Nope. Nothing but a wish.
48
00:01:53,468 --> 00:01:57,405
I wish I'd remembered to lock the door.
49
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Sync by United - corrected by chamallow
www.united4ever.tv / www.addic7ed.com
50
00:02:09,217 --> 00:02:13,821
- Pop, before you judge us...
- You are titanic idiots!
51
00:02:13,822 --> 00:02:15,156
I said before.
52
00:02:15,157 --> 00:02:17,458
Ed, we hated working for that company.
53
00:02:17,459 --> 00:02:19,393
We always wanted to sell
real estate on our own.
54
00:02:19,394 --> 00:02:21,712
- So before you yell at us...
- This is the dumbest thing
55
00:02:21,713 --> 00:02:23,748
you've ever done. You are titanic idiots!
56
00:02:23,749 --> 00:02:26,867
I don't think he knows what before means.
57
00:02:26,868 --> 00:02:29,203
You don't quit a paying
job selling real estate
58
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To take an unpaying
job selling real estate!
59
00:02:33,041 --> 00:02:35,893
You have no idea how horrible
it was to work at that company.
60
00:02:35,894 --> 00:02:38,396
Our boss Katie... she was a monster.
61
00:02:38,397 --> 00:02:41,248
What was that, uh, that terrible
name she used to call you?
62
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It was, uh... it was...
63
00:02:43,218 --> 00:02:44,819
Titanic idiot.
64
00:02:44,820 --> 00:02:47,605
Yes. Yes, that was it.
65
00:02:47,606 --> 00:02:50,191
Do you have idea what
it's like to work for
66
00:02:50,192 --> 00:02:52,660
a despicable taskmaster who
insults you all day long?
67
00:02:52,661 --> 00:02:54,745
I do!
68
00:02:54,746 --> 00:02:56,664
Zip it, Hazel.
69
00:02:56,665 --> 00:02:59,867
I got a toilet ring with your name on it.
70
00:03:03,405 --> 00:03:05,623
Look, dad, we've always wanted
to start our own company.
71
00:03:05,624 --> 00:03:07,608
We just never had the
courage to go ahead and do it.
72
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Charlotte's wish seminar gave
us that push that we needed.
73
00:03:10,245 --> 00:03:12,046
I don't wanna look back 50 years from now
74
00:03:12,047 --> 00:03:13,647
and say I didn't take a chance,
75
00:03:13,648 --> 00:03:16,083
I didn't start a business with my husband.
76
00:03:16,084 --> 00:03:19,120
And now it's too late. He's dead.
77
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Wai... ho...
78
00:03:21,123 --> 00:03:22,256
Hold on a second.
79
00:03:22,257 --> 00:03:24,592
Why am I dead?
80
00:03:24,593 --> 00:03:27,962
Shark attack. It was on the news.
81
00:03:27,963 --> 00:03:30,097
You let some shyster
82
00:03:30,098 --> 00:03:32,133
talk you into quitting your jobs?
83
00:03:32,134 --> 00:03:33,600
No, no, Charlotte's the real deal,
84
00:03:33,601 --> 00:03:35,469
and she brought me up on-stage.
85
00:03:35,470 --> 00:03:38,489
It was amazing. Changed my life forever.
86
00:03:38,490 --> 00:03:39,974
The only time I've ever heard
87
00:03:39,975 --> 00:03:42,843
of anybody having their
life changed forever on-stage
88
00:03:42,844 --> 00:03:45,780
Was in Tijuana.
89
00:03:45,781 --> 00:03:49,150
It involved a donkey and a ziploc baggie.
90
00:03:50,318 --> 00:03:53,988
That was the worst family vacation ever.
91
00:03:53,989 --> 00:03:56,140
You are too cynical, Ed.
92
00:03:56,141 --> 00:03:59,427
Charlotte has made millions
helping people just like us.
93
00:03:59,428 --> 00:04:01,896
Hey, listen, I'm all for taking advantage
94
00:04:01,897 --> 00:04:04,799
of weak-minded people.
95
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:08,736
That's how I got laid
in the fifties, but...
96
00:04:08,737 --> 00:04:11,906
anyone who says, "just wish for it
97
00:04:11,907 --> 00:04:13,307
and it'll happen," they're full of crap.
98
00:04:13,308 --> 00:04:14,492
Well, we believe it,
99
00:04:14,493 --> 00:04:16,644
and we think we're
gonna be very successful.
100
00:04:16,645 --> 00:04:19,113
Every idiot thinks they're
gonna be successful.
101
00:04:19,114 --> 00:04:20,681
That's why they're idiots!
102
00:04:20,682 --> 00:04:21,999
Vince!
103
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,785
All right, all right. Look, dad...
104
00:04:24,786 --> 00:04:28,389
we're not like the other idiots.
105
00:04:28,390 --> 00:04:29,557
Good one, honey.
106
00:04:29,558 --> 00:04:31,125
I can't believe the two of you did this.
107
00:04:31,126 --> 00:04:33,511
Look, pop, we just made a
pretty major life decision.
108
00:04:33,512 --> 00:04:35,563
It would be nice if you
were a little bit supportive.
109
00:04:35,564 --> 00:04:38,299
Yeah. Could you say something... positive?
110
00:04:38,300 --> 00:04:39,867
Of course.
111
00:04:39,868 --> 00:04:41,569
I'm positive...
112
00:04:41,570 --> 00:04:45,339
that this supernova of garbage
will explode in your face.
113
00:04:45,340 --> 00:04:48,809
You titanic idiots!
114
00:04:50,579 --> 00:04:53,448
Why do we keep getting
this guy father's day gifts?
115
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:57,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
116
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Hey.
117
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:05,221
Can I interest you in a little T&A?
118
00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:07,456
Excuse me?
119
00:05:07,457 --> 00:05:09,759
Turkey and avocado sandwich.
I'm famous for them.
120
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:11,927
Ah. T&a. Turkey and avocado.
121
00:05:11,928 --> 00:05:13,262
Mm-hmm.
122
00:05:13,263 --> 00:05:16,966
Glad you didn't ask me if
I wanted a baloney and jam.
123
00:05:16,967 --> 00:05:19,235
- Well, do you want one or not?
- I'm good.
124
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,604
I'm just doing some research
for this article I'm writing.
125
00:05:21,605 --> 00:05:23,172
Well, what do you know?
126
00:05:23,173 --> 00:05:25,608
A real job.
127
00:05:25,609 --> 00:05:29,178
Who'd of thought you'd be
the son I'd be proud of?
128
00:05:29,179 --> 00:05:32,915
Well, you only got two. I
figure I got a 50-50 shot.
129
00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:34,517
What's the assignment?
130
00:05:34,518 --> 00:05:37,386
I pitched my editor a story
on Charlotte Ann Robinson,
131
00:05:37,387 --> 00:05:38,587
You know, that wish lady
132
00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:40,823
who convinced Vince and
Bonnie to quit their jobs?
133
00:05:40,824 --> 00:05:42,525
Yeah, well, if you wanna do a story
134
00:05:42,526 --> 00:05:44,877
on a woman who makes wishes come true,
135
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:49,098
Go to the Cactus Club in
Tijuana and ask for Conchita.
136
00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:51,217
That's just a story about prostitutes.
137
00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:53,719
I'd read it.
138
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,105
Guaranteed happy ending.
139
00:05:57,841 --> 00:05:59,475
Thanks, dad. Anyway...
140
00:05:59,476 --> 00:06:01,944
my angle on the story is
how these self-help gurus
141
00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:04,446
tend to do really well in
difficult economic times.
142
00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:07,149
In my day, we didn't
call them self-help gurus.
143
00:06:07,150 --> 00:06:09,852
We called them snake oil salesmen.
144
00:06:09,853 --> 00:06:11,587
And we would tar and feather them
145
00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:14,073
And run them out of town on a rail.
146
00:06:15,525 --> 00:06:16,826
Then you loaded up your musket
147
00:06:16,827 --> 00:06:18,661
and went out to fight
them indians, right, pa?
148
00:06:18,662 --> 00:06:20,329
That's right.
149
00:06:20,330 --> 00:06:22,998
You make sure when you write that article
150
00:06:22,999 --> 00:06:26,702
you talk about all the
crap that woman peddles.
151
00:06:26,703 --> 00:06:28,420
You know, this book is pretty interesting.
152
00:06:28,421 --> 00:06:30,139
I'm gonna go check out her seminar today.
153
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:32,208
I'll save ya a trip.
154
00:06:32,209 --> 00:06:33,742
Here's your story.
155
00:06:33,743 --> 00:06:37,580
Give people what they want,
and they'll pay ya for it.
156
00:06:37,581 --> 00:06:39,815
It's also Conchita's book.
157
00:06:41,618 --> 00:06:44,270
Here.
158
00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:45,738
Listen to this.
159
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,389
She says that we're constantly
160
00:06:47,390 --> 00:06:49,291
putting wishes out
there in the universe...
161
00:06:49,292 --> 00:06:51,059
whether we're conscious of it or not.
162
00:06:51,060 --> 00:06:53,229
And ultimately, they're
all gonna be answered.
163
00:06:53,230 --> 00:06:55,164
Really?
164
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:56,832
I'll give it a try.
165
00:06:58,268 --> 00:07:01,403
Universe...
166
00:07:01,404 --> 00:07:04,406
I wish I lived alone.
167
00:07:04,407 --> 00:07:07,276
Nope. The kid's still here.
168
00:07:07,277 --> 00:07:09,278
I'll wish harder.
169
00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:11,747
Universe... I really,
170
00:07:11,748 --> 00:07:15,384
really wished I lived alone.
171
00:07:15,385 --> 00:07:17,286
Oh, my!
172
00:07:18,722 --> 00:07:20,890
- See ya later, dad.
- Yeah.
173
00:07:20,891 --> 00:07:22,458
Where's Henry going?
174
00:07:22,459 --> 00:07:25,260
He's going down to the seminar
where Vince and Bonnie were.
175
00:07:25,261 --> 00:07:27,947
Huh. And you're gonna let him do that?
176
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:30,482
Well, what the hell do I care?
He's just gonna write a story.
177
00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:32,334
Well, Vince and Bonnie
went to see that woman,
178
00:07:32,335 --> 00:07:35,004
and now they have no job.
179
00:07:35,005 --> 00:07:37,506
Yeah. But Henry's got
a really strong will.
180
00:07:37,507 --> 00:07:39,742
- Really?
- He's got a pretty strong will.
181
00:07:39,743 --> 00:07:43,112
- Really?
- He's got quite a strong will.
182
00:07:43,113 --> 00:07:44,446
Really?
183
00:07:44,447 --> 00:07:46,649
Well, he's got a willy.
184
00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:54,023
And I am a living example
185
00:07:54,024 --> 00:07:56,525
of how wishes can come true.
186
00:07:56,526 --> 00:07:59,395
I used to be just like many of you...
187
00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:02,348
lost, confused, unemployed, brunette.
188
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,535
And now look at me!
189
00:08:06,536 --> 00:08:10,172
I'm a natural blonde multimillionaire
190
00:08:10,173 --> 00:08:14,710
on-stage at the San Fran...
Diego Airport suites hotel...
191
00:08:14,711 --> 00:08:18,347
I'm telling you that
you can be just like me.
192
00:08:18,348 --> 00:08:20,215
Yes, you can!
193
00:08:22,185 --> 00:08:24,003
Can you believe how many people
194
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,654
actually buy into this thing?
195
00:08:25,655 --> 00:08:27,690
I've been to seven of these seminars.
196
00:08:27,691 --> 00:08:30,592
I've been to eight of these seminars.
197
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:31,927
Okay, and now it's time
198
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:34,229
to put your wishes out into the universe.
199
00:08:34,230 --> 00:08:38,017
Turn to the person next
to you and share a wish.
200
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,936
My wish is to have the self-esteem
201
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:44,239
to not sleep with the first
guy who gives me a compliment.
202
00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:47,509
Great wish. So smart. So pretty.
203
00:08:47,510 --> 00:08:49,945
Thank you.
204
00:08:56,686 --> 00:08:58,153
I wish I had a million dollars.
205
00:08:58,154 --> 00:08:59,872
I wish you had a breath mint.
206
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,328
Where the hell is my son?
207
00:09:06,329 --> 00:09:08,630
And now it's time to
change someone's life
208
00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:10,466
right here on this stage.
209
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:12,835
Who will it be?
210
00:09:12,836 --> 00:09:13,969
Henry!
211
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:15,170
Henry, over here!
212
00:09:15,171 --> 00:09:17,589
You, sir, the handsome older fisherman.
213
00:09:20,927 --> 00:09:22,144
Me?
214
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:25,014
Yes! Time to make your wish come true.
215
00:09:25,015 --> 00:09:27,083
- Bring him on up.
- Oh, crap.
216
00:09:36,836 --> 00:09:40,005
- And what's your name, sir?
- My name is Ed.
217
00:09:40,006 --> 00:09:42,040
And why are you here?
218
00:09:42,041 --> 00:09:45,977
Well, I'm looking for
a 27-year-old young man.
219
00:09:45,978 --> 00:09:47,662
Dark hair, good-looking, 6 feet tall.
220
00:09:47,663 --> 00:09:49,548
Kind of a geek.
221
00:09:49,549 --> 00:09:51,650
Well, you know what you like.
222
00:09:51,651 --> 00:09:53,952
All you have to do is wish for it.
223
00:09:53,953 --> 00:09:55,821
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm looking for my son.
224
00:09:55,822 --> 00:09:57,322
I... I want to take him home.
225
00:09:57,323 --> 00:09:58,557
And why would you do that?
226
00:09:58,558 --> 00:10:00,625
Well, because...
227
00:10:00,626 --> 00:10:03,478
I wanna be as respectful as possible,
228
00:10:03,479 --> 00:10:06,298
but you and all these people gathered here
229
00:10:06,299 --> 00:10:08,800
are crazy losers.
230
00:10:08,801 --> 00:10:10,635
No, no, no.
231
00:10:10,636 --> 00:10:12,437
We welcome skeptics here.
232
00:10:12,438 --> 00:10:15,073
Remember what it says
in my book about doubt?
233
00:10:15,074 --> 00:10:18,076
Doubt is a wish turned inside out.
234
00:10:18,077 --> 00:10:19,277
Cheese and crackers.
235
00:10:19,278 --> 00:10:22,113
It's like night of the living morons.
236
00:10:23,516 --> 00:10:26,251
Ed, I think we should have a chat.
237
00:10:26,252 --> 00:10:29,788
Esteban, can we get a microphone for Ed?
238
00:10:29,789 --> 00:10:31,189
Gracias, Esteban.
239
00:10:31,190 --> 00:10:33,008
Oh, thank you, Esteban.
240
00:10:33,009 --> 00:10:34,426
So, Ed, it sounds to me
241
00:10:34,427 --> 00:10:36,461
like you're not a big fan of the wish.
242
00:10:36,462 --> 00:10:38,830
Well, wish, wish, wishes for...
243
00:10:38,831 --> 00:10:42,534
girls with broken hearts
and boys with broken condoms.
244
00:10:44,871 --> 00:10:46,872
Well, here wish is an acronym
245
00:10:46,873 --> 00:10:50,242
that implies an act of
will and visualization.
246
00:10:50,243 --> 00:10:53,812
Want it... see it... happen!
247
00:10:53,813 --> 00:10:56,031
W-i-s-h.
248
00:10:56,032 --> 00:10:58,884
Wishhhhhh.
249
00:10:58,885 --> 00:11:00,919
That's not wish.
250
00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:02,988
That's wisih.
251
00:11:02,989 --> 00:11:04,723
You slipped an "it" in there.
252
00:11:04,724 --> 00:11:06,791
I'm surprised you people don't see that.
253
00:11:06,792 --> 00:11:08,026
This is all a scam.
254
00:11:08,027 --> 00:11:10,529
One man's scam is another man's dream.
255
00:11:10,530 --> 00:11:11,963
Well, I...
256
00:11:15,001 --> 00:11:16,301
I don't even know what that means,
257
00:11:16,302 --> 00:11:18,069
"one man's scam is another... "
258
00:11:18,070 --> 00:11:21,239
Listen, if you want
help, hell, I'll help you.
259
00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:22,641
For free!
260
00:11:22,642 --> 00:11:25,277
Then please, Ed. Go right ahead.
261
00:11:25,278 --> 00:11:27,412
Really? I will.
262
00:11:27,413 --> 00:11:29,881
Uh, you, sir. You look like you're here
263
00:11:29,882 --> 00:11:33,351
because you wanna lose 100 pounds.
264
00:11:34,921 --> 00:11:36,388
You can't wish that away.
265
00:11:36,389 --> 00:11:40,091
You have to eat sensibly,
buy a treadmill, work out.
266
00:11:40,092 --> 00:11:41,893
Otherwise, you won't
be able to see your nuts
267
00:11:41,894 --> 00:11:44,129
without a hand mirror.
268
00:11:46,866 --> 00:11:50,602
I just wanna get rid of my eczema.
269
00:11:50,603 --> 00:11:52,837
Nobody's looking at your eczema.
270
00:11:54,674 --> 00:11:56,958
- What about you?
- I want to be a model.
271
00:11:56,959 --> 00:11:59,477
No.
272
00:11:59,478 --> 00:12:02,297
Ed, give me the microphone.
273
00:12:02,298 --> 00:12:05,450
Now, look at me. Meet my gaze.
274
00:12:05,451 --> 00:12:07,852
Who... those two guys?
275
00:12:09,956 --> 00:12:12,791
No. I want you to look at me!
276
00:12:12,792 --> 00:12:14,993
- What do you want?
- I have a wish for you.
277
00:12:14,994 --> 00:12:18,613
Hey, listen, this mind game
may work on these lemmings here,
278
00:12:18,614 --> 00:12:20,465
but the wishing business...
279
00:12:20,466 --> 00:12:21,900
will not work on me.
280
00:12:21,901 --> 00:12:23,735
- You don't think so?
- No, I don't.
281
00:12:23,736 --> 00:12:26,705
I didn't wish for that.
282
00:12:26,706 --> 00:12:28,540
I know. I did.
283
00:12:28,541 --> 00:12:30,208
- Oh...
- Mm-hmm...
284
00:12:30,209 --> 00:12:32,410
Now do you believe in
the power of the wish?
285
00:12:32,411 --> 00:12:34,312
No, I believe in the power of old spice
286
00:12:34,313 --> 00:12:36,247
and a clean fishing vest.
287
00:12:36,248 --> 00:12:39,384
Listen, there's nobody here.
You can tell me the truth.
288
00:12:39,385 --> 00:12:41,686
This was not my first time.
289
00:12:43,289 --> 00:12:44,456
What's your question?
290
00:12:44,457 --> 00:12:45,991
My question is don't you feel guilty
291
00:12:45,992 --> 00:12:47,325
ripping these people off?
292
00:12:47,326 --> 00:12:49,494
But I'm not. I make people feel happy.
293
00:12:49,495 --> 00:12:52,864
But my son and his wife
quit their jobs because of you.
294
00:12:52,865 --> 00:12:55,000
I bet if you ask them,
they'd say they're happy.
295
00:12:55,001 --> 00:12:58,236
I'm so unhappy!
296
00:12:59,538 --> 00:13:02,574
Our careers are over.
What are we gonna do?
297
00:13:02,575 --> 00:13:05,477
All right. Bonnie...
298
00:13:05,478 --> 00:13:07,345
one of us has to be the strong one here.
299
00:13:07,346 --> 00:13:10,715
Well, who's it gonna be?
300
00:13:10,716 --> 00:13:12,117
Once, twice, three, shoot.
301
00:13:12,118 --> 00:13:13,752
- Again.
- Once, twice, three, shoot.
302
00:13:13,753 --> 00:13:14,953
- Stop doing rock.
- Okay.
303
00:13:14,954 --> 00:13:16,221
- Once, twice, three, shoot.
304
00:13:16,222 --> 00:13:17,656
- Aw, damn it.
- That's what you get
305
00:13:17,657 --> 00:13:19,891
For not listening.
306
00:13:19,892 --> 00:13:22,594
All right. We're gonna be okay.
307
00:13:22,595 --> 00:13:24,129
You think so?
308
00:13:24,130 --> 00:13:25,664
I know so.
309
00:13:25,665 --> 00:13:28,099
But what if we don't make it?
310
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,135
I don't know!
311
00:13:30,136 --> 00:13:31,936
All right...
312
00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:34,305
Look at me, look at me, look at me.
313
00:13:34,306 --> 00:13:35,774
You still wanna do this, right?
314
00:13:35,775 --> 00:13:37,475
Absolutely. Absolutely, honey.
315
00:13:37,476 --> 00:13:39,044
But it takes money to run a business.
316
00:13:39,045 --> 00:13:42,981
Well... we do have one
asset we could sell.
317
00:13:44,550 --> 00:13:47,519
My body.
318
00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:48,987
No. No, honey.
319
00:13:48,988 --> 00:13:51,756
I'm talking about... the house.
320
00:13:53,492 --> 00:13:55,694
Honey, you wanna sell our condo?
321
00:13:55,695 --> 00:13:57,362
That... that's all we have.
322
00:13:57,363 --> 00:13:59,497
Yeah, but if we sell it
then we'll have a listing,
323
00:13:59,498 --> 00:14:01,332
and once we have a listing,
324
00:14:01,333 --> 00:14:03,034
We'll have one Bonnie
and Vince realty sign
325
00:14:03,035 --> 00:14:04,886
out there for the world to see.
326
00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:06,471
You know what? You're right.
327
00:14:06,472 --> 00:14:08,406
And once there's one Vince
and Bonnie realty sign
328
00:14:08,407 --> 00:14:10,742
out there... it'll lead to another.
329
00:14:10,743 --> 00:14:12,444
And before you know
it, there'll be dozens
330
00:14:12,445 --> 00:14:13,912
of Bonnie and Vince realty signs.
331
00:14:13,913 --> 00:14:16,681
Vince and Bonnie Realty. Nice ring to it.
332
00:14:16,682 --> 00:14:20,218
I agree. Bonnie and Company of San Diego.
333
00:14:20,219 --> 00:14:22,353
But honey, it's gonna take
a while to sell this place.
334
00:14:22,354 --> 00:14:24,089
What are we gonna do for
money in the meantime?
335
00:14:24,090 --> 00:14:26,424
Well, we could rent this place.
336
00:14:26,425 --> 00:14:27,559
The rental market's great.
337
00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:30,195
I bet we'll have someone within a week!
338
00:14:30,196 --> 00:14:32,997
You know what, Bon-Bon? You're right.
339
00:14:32,998 --> 00:14:34,866
We can do this.
340
00:14:34,867 --> 00:14:36,534
We can totally do this.
341
00:14:36,535 --> 00:14:39,370
- I feel good about this.
- Me too!
342
00:14:40,940 --> 00:14:43,458
- Wait. Where are we gonna live?
- I don't know!
343
00:14:43,459 --> 00:14:45,276
Oh, baby.
344
00:14:45,277 --> 00:14:47,278
Well, I... I say you can't.
345
00:14:47,279 --> 00:14:49,481
And I'm telling you I have a surefire way
346
00:14:49,482 --> 00:14:52,083
to tell your exact age within one month.
347
00:14:52,084 --> 00:14:55,653
I've got 25� that says you can't.
348
00:14:57,256 --> 00:14:59,057
Okay, big spender.
349
00:15:01,460 --> 00:15:02,894
Oh...
350
00:15:02,895 --> 00:15:05,429
* Canada *
351
00:15:06,665 --> 00:15:08,133
What are you doing down there?
352
00:15:08,134 --> 00:15:09,868
Shh!
353
00:15:09,869 --> 00:15:13,171
You're going... to be...
354
00:15:13,172 --> 00:15:14,439
Hold on.
355
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:17,475
I will if you will.
356
00:15:17,476 --> 00:15:19,310
I'm thinking.
357
00:15:19,311 --> 00:15:22,480
I'll give you 17 guesses.
358
00:15:23,883 --> 00:15:26,000
You'll be 73 next September.
359
00:15:26,001 --> 00:15:27,285
That's amazing.
360
00:15:27,286 --> 00:15:29,788
You got all that by
poking around down there?
361
00:15:29,789 --> 00:15:31,622
No!
362
00:15:31,623 --> 00:15:34,425
I saw your driver's license earlier.
363
00:15:34,426 --> 00:15:37,162
I love your technique.
364
00:15:37,163 --> 00:15:39,364
That's what your book should be about.
365
00:15:39,365 --> 00:15:41,166
You're so cynical.
366
00:15:41,167 --> 00:15:42,300
If it's such a joke,
367
00:15:42,301 --> 00:15:43,768
why did you chase your son down here?
368
00:15:43,769 --> 00:15:45,336
Well, because I didn't want him
369
00:15:45,337 --> 00:15:46,738
getting sucked into all this.
370
00:15:46,739 --> 00:15:48,673
He's finally got his life on track,
371
00:15:48,674 --> 00:15:50,642
and he's making good decisions.
372
00:15:50,643 --> 00:15:53,378
Okay...
373
00:15:53,379 --> 00:15:55,446
I'm ready.
374
00:15:55,447 --> 00:15:58,616
I'm at your mercy, sexy
pirate. Do what you will.
375
00:15:58,617 --> 00:16:00,084
Hold on.
376
00:16:00,085 --> 00:16:03,054
I'm taking off my clothes
and putting on my eye patch.
377
00:16:06,175 --> 00:16:07,592
Hello!
378
00:16:07,593 --> 00:16:09,344
Hellooo!
379
00:16:12,598 --> 00:16:15,500
Oh, crap. Not again.
380
00:16:17,937 --> 00:16:19,888
Let's say you're right.
381
00:16:19,889 --> 00:16:23,508
Let's say Henry's wish
was to move back in with me
382
00:16:23,509 --> 00:16:25,109
to get to know me better.
383
00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:27,812
Why would Vince wish to lose his job?
384
00:16:27,813 --> 00:16:30,315
Maybe it wasn't his wish.
Maybe it was your wish.
385
00:16:30,316 --> 00:16:31,749
Why the hell would I wish that?
386
00:16:31,750 --> 00:16:33,151
I don't know.
387
00:16:33,152 --> 00:16:34,953
Guess you'll have to wait
for the universe to tell you.
388
00:16:34,954 --> 00:16:36,520
I'll tell you what my wish is.
389
00:16:36,521 --> 00:16:40,575
My wish is you try to guess
my age again, only faster.
390
00:16:41,694 --> 00:16:43,995
Why don't you try to
guess my age, Mr. Selfish?
391
00:16:43,996 --> 00:16:45,296
Well, that's easy.
392
00:16:45,297 --> 00:16:46,931
You're 37.
393
00:17:02,582 --> 00:17:05,217
You. That's right.
394
00:17:07,454 --> 00:17:10,055
You've still got it!
395
00:17:17,597 --> 00:17:19,398
You. That's right.
396
00:17:20,634 --> 00:17:24,503
You let a girl take your pants... again!
397
00:17:24,504 --> 00:17:28,807
It's that word "again"
that disturbs me the most.
398
00:17:31,378 --> 00:17:33,846
The next time a chick asks
me to take my pants off,
399
00:17:33,847 --> 00:17:35,381
I'm gonna say no.
400
00:17:35,382 --> 00:17:37,349
That's a good idea.
401
00:17:37,350 --> 00:17:39,618
That way, everybody wins.
402
00:17:42,055 --> 00:17:44,490
Come and sit down beside me.
403
00:17:44,491 --> 00:17:47,893
I went to the, uh, seminar... today.
404
00:17:47,894 --> 00:17:49,361
I was a little worried about you.
405
00:17:49,362 --> 00:17:51,497
Why would you possibly worry about me?
406
00:17:51,498 --> 00:17:53,465
Ask the boy with no pants.
407
00:17:55,535 --> 00:17:57,469
Right, right.
408
00:17:57,470 --> 00:18:00,205
I didn't want you
making any rash decisions
409
00:18:00,206 --> 00:18:01,707
like Vince and Bonnie.
410
00:18:01,708 --> 00:18:03,742
Mm. They told you they're
selling their condo.
411
00:18:03,743 --> 00:18:05,010
- What?
- Oh.
412
00:18:05,011 --> 00:18:06,178
No.
413
00:18:06,179 --> 00:18:08,013
Yeah, they're selling their condo.
414
00:18:08,014 --> 00:18:09,448
They're selling their condo?
415
00:18:09,449 --> 00:18:11,367
Well, where are they gonna stay?
416
00:18:11,368 --> 00:18:12,685
They're freaking out.
417
00:18:12,686 --> 00:18:15,054
They said they're gonna
look at studios in El Cajon.
418
00:18:15,055 --> 00:18:17,256
El Cajon!
419
00:18:17,257 --> 00:18:20,392
That's the anus of San Diego!
420
00:18:20,393 --> 00:18:22,161
They can't stay there!
421
00:18:22,162 --> 00:18:24,430
Well, that's what they're gonna do.
422
00:18:26,666 --> 00:18:28,434
Jeez!
423
00:18:28,435 --> 00:18:29,401
What?
424
00:18:29,402 --> 00:18:31,203
I wish I could do something for them.
425
00:18:31,204 --> 00:18:33,105
Ah.
426
00:18:33,106 --> 00:18:35,641
A wish.
427
00:18:35,642 --> 00:18:37,376
Well, here's a wish.
428
00:18:37,377 --> 00:18:40,045
Put on your pants.
429
00:18:40,046 --> 00:18:43,349
The kumquat brothers are
making a prison break.
430
00:18:52,759 --> 00:18:54,159
Wake up.
431
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:56,578
Ed!
432
00:18:56,579 --> 00:18:58,764
Dad!
433
00:18:58,765 --> 00:19:02,067
- What are you doing here?
- How'd you get in?
434
00:19:02,068 --> 00:19:05,037
Your door was open. Hell of a watchdog.
435
00:19:05,038 --> 00:19:07,306
It's 3:00 in the morning.
436
00:19:07,307 --> 00:19:09,375
Here.
437
00:19:09,376 --> 00:19:10,592
These are yours.
438
00:19:10,593 --> 00:19:12,645
Th... these are your house keys.
439
00:19:12,646 --> 00:19:14,747
I heard you need a place to stay.
440
00:19:14,748 --> 00:19:17,683
Pop, it's all right.
We're gonna rent a place.
441
00:19:17,684 --> 00:19:19,451
No, no, no. You need the money.
442
00:19:19,452 --> 00:19:20,936
You can stay with me.
443
00:19:20,937 --> 00:19:24,623
Ed, we d... we don't want
to be an inconvenience.
444
00:19:24,624 --> 00:19:27,559
My dear, that ship has sailed.
445
00:19:28,828 --> 00:19:30,863
All right, seriously, pop.
Don't do us any favors.
446
00:19:30,864 --> 00:19:32,865
Not a favor. Trust me.
447
00:19:32,866 --> 00:19:34,633
You're gonna be plenty miserable there.
448
00:19:34,634 --> 00:19:37,236
But maybe you'll save some money,
449
00:19:37,237 --> 00:19:40,339
and hopefully, your business
will get off the ground.
450
00:19:40,340 --> 00:19:42,975
Mostly... I'm doing it for love.
451
00:19:42,976 --> 00:19:44,176
Ed, that's so...
452
00:19:44,177 --> 00:19:46,745
- For the dog.
- Okay.
453
00:19:49,132 --> 00:19:51,417
Aw, yes, sweetheart.
454
00:19:51,418 --> 00:19:54,019
We'll take it.
455
00:19:54,020 --> 00:19:55,821
Dad, this is huge.
456
00:19:55,822 --> 00:19:57,623
Is this what you really want?
457
00:19:57,624 --> 00:19:59,858
No!
458
00:19:59,859 --> 00:20:03,095
But apparently, the universe
thinks I wished for it.
459
00:20:03,096 --> 00:20:06,832
Come on, Root Beer. Come on, Root Beer.
460
00:20:06,833 --> 00:20:08,867
That's a boy.
461
00:20:10,236 --> 00:20:12,471
And the ball is snapped.
462
00:20:12,472 --> 00:20:13,972
The quarterback fakes a throw left...
463
00:20:13,973 --> 00:20:15,240
Look at us!
464
00:20:15,241 --> 00:20:19,511
We're sitting around,
watching tv after dinner.
465
00:20:19,512 --> 00:20:20,946
This is kind of awesome.
466
00:20:20,947 --> 00:20:24,016
It's like we're a normal family.
467
00:20:24,017 --> 00:20:27,252
Yeah, dad, his two grown
sons, one of their wives.
468
00:20:27,253 --> 00:20:29,688
A maid with balls.
469
00:20:29,689 --> 00:20:32,591
Somebody call Norman Rockwell.
470
00:20:32,892 --> 00:20:36,429
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