All language subtitles for Republic of Doyle s02e05 Something Old, Something New.eng

[Narrator] Previously,
on Republic of Doyle.

[Allison] Bad time?

[Jake] No, it's a great time.

How's married life?

[Allison] We should
probably talk about that.

[Jake] Does he have a gun?

[Mal] I know you don't like marriage, but...
I don't care.

[Jake] Okay, for the last
time, it wasn't a stag!

[Rose] It was a lame stag.
Where is this coming from?

[Mal] I don't know.
Everything just seems right in the world.

[Tinny] I'm trying to wind back
your hydro meter. Have you

checked your bill lately?

[Chantel] Woah.

[Dylan] I just wanted to give you that.
It's a little advance.

[Jake] Who is this and why
is he saying my name?

[Chantel] The hydro is paid and the bud
is blooming, everything is beautiful.

[Jake] Tinny, I know you know
what you are doing... I do.

[Des] There's loads of
other ways to make money.

[Tinny] I want to go to London...
To school, Des.

[Jake] Do I ever get
to see you again?

[Allison] Let's not confuse our
personal relationship with

what's going on here.

[Jake] So we do have a
personal relationship?

[Jake] Answer the phone.

[Rose] You are about as much fun as bingo
night at a retirement home, almost.

[Mal] What do you mean I'm no fun?
I have fun. I have lots of fun.

[Jake] Will the two
of you shut up?

[Mal and Rose] Mind
your own business.

[Jake] Answer the phone!

[Rose] Just admit you are scared.
This is how behave when you are scared.

[Mal] Scared of what? Travelling to Mexico?
I have work to do!

[Rose] What are you talking about?
It's a vacation!

[Rose] It's okay to have
fun once in a while!

[Mal] You're just
like your mother.

[Jake] Hoh-hoh, you're on
your own now, skipper.

[Rose] What is it you are
getting at, Malachy Doyle?

[Mal] If you don't want to get
married, that's fine, just out

with it. It's making me crazy.

[Rose] Not get married? What are you
talking about, not getting married?

[Mal] You tell me.

[Jake] You two, stay here!

[Rose] I am trying to plan a vacation and
suddenly I don't want to get married?

[Mal] Yes or no. Do ya or not?

[Rose] Honestly?

[Mal] Jake?

[Rose] Is he in there?

Sync by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

♪Oh, yeah♪

♪oh, yeah♪

♪oh, yeah♪

♪oh, yeah-e-yeah-e-yeah-e-yeah♪

♪oh, yeah-e-yeah-e-yeah-e-yeah♪

♪oh, yeah♪

Four hours earlier...

[Mal] Oh no, I'm absolutely game for
anything. Whatever you want,

wherever.
I'm barely hungry, so you choose.

[Rose] How about blue on water?

[Mal] Oh! Sure.

[Jake] You're a cheapskate.

[Mal] The Duke serves lunch too.

[Jake] And a romantic...
[Rose] Honey, the Duke is right below our office.

[Mal] That's good...
Take less time.

[Rose] Right.

[Jake] Oh nice, this is fun,
I have to be honest with ya.

[Rose] I am not in the mood for
fish and chips... and fricken

chicken wings again.

[Mal] What's wrong
with chicken wings?

[Rose] Nothing, forget it.
I'll um, I'll call you later.

[Mal] Hello? Rose?

00:03:04,981
[Jake] Man, you gotta take a course or
something on how to tend to your woman.

[Mal] You teach and I'll pass.

I'm trying to have this marriage
last the rest of my life... not

4 hours. Mind your own business.

Next driveway on the left.

[Jake] Ah, this is quite the spread.
What do you think a

wedding like this costs?
100- 150 grand?

[Mal] Anything less, what would
the neighbours think? Thank God

Rose and I are past all
of this foolishness.

[Joyce] One lantern for each
table, think romance, dear.

[Mal] Joyce Clowe? Malachy Doyle...
Spoke on the phone.

[Jake] Hi, I'm Jake.

[Joyce] Thank God you're here.

Sweethearts, over here.
The last few days have been a nightmare.

The original venue was cancelled,
fired the caterer and

Tricia's Vera Wang was
shipped to Bermuda.

[Jake] Her Vera Wang? So you think someone
was doing all of this on purpose?

[Joyce] He's trying to stop the
wedding and I won't stand for

it. Chad king,
Patricia's ex-fiancé.

[Mal] Ex-fiancé?

[Jake] She's been engaged before?

[Joyce] This is my daughter Tricia
and her husband-to-be... Matthew.

[Matthew] Hi.

[Mal] Hi.

[Tricia] Hi.

[Joyce] Patricia broke off
the engagement 6 months ago.

[Tricia] It was a terrible thing.

[Joyce] It's not your fault.
It took until 3 days before the

wedding to figure that out.

[Jake] Whoa, you dumped this guy 3 days
before you were suppose to marry him?

[Mal] You can see how he
might be holding a grudge.

[Tricia] Really, I did
not mean to hurt him.

[Matthew] Hey, his loss, my gain.
Can you believe this one

said yes? Look at her.
I'm the luckiest guy in the world.

[Tricia] Stop it.

[Jake] What makes you think that uh...
[Joyce] Chad.

[Jake] Chad is behind all of this?

[Joyce] He sent me a letter every
day after we broke it off.

[Matthew] Yeah, begging to get back with her.
No go, though, luckily.

[Tricia] He was awfully upset.

[Joyce] I understand dear,
we all feel for him but this

wedding is going ahead,
come hell or high water.

[Mal] Uh, certainly got a beautiful
spot for it. Nice house.

[Joyce] Thank you. I'd invite you in,
but we're getting the carpets cleaned.

[Carlie] Joyce, Tricia, they're
taking away the chairs, now.

Just thought you should know.

[Joyce] Ah, m-m-Matthew.

[Matthew] I told those guys.

[Joyce] Excuse me.
The chairs off the truck please.

[Carlie] I've been a bridesmaid 8 times,
you are the most high maintenance.

[Tricia] No. Carlie is the
best bridesmaid in the world.

[Jake] Hey, how ya doin'?

[Tricia] She's really toughing it out.
But you will find your

man, I know it. Well, I really...
Thank you... hope you

can help me, because this is supposed
to be the happiest day of my life.

[Jake] Yeah, sure.
We're on it, no worries.

[Tricia] Thank you. Come.

[Mal] Hey, that girl is getting
married in the morning. Keep

your mojo in check.

[Jake] What? I didn't do anything.

[Mal] Yet.

[Jake] Okay, so Tricia was
engaged to Chad, here, then she

dumped him for Matthew. Now, someone
is trying to sabotage the wedding.

[Rose] Look what Chad wrote to
her: "Tricia I love you more

than life itself, I can't
live without you."

[Mal] "I have to see ya or I'll
stab myself in the heart and

jump in the sea." Eeh...
[Rose] So romantic.

[Mal] Yeah, in a pathetic,
crazed kinda way.

[Rose] Hun, he may be crazy but he's
showing he cares about her at least.

[Des] People are attracted to crazy...
And geeks too, lots of

girls and you wouldn't think
they'd go for a geek but they

do. Geeks are e new trend.

Not-not-not crazy geeks, geek...
Geek.

[Jake] Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.
And there's Carlie... bridesmaid.

Now, is it just me or does she
seem a tad bit resentful to you?

[Rose] Bridesmaid's dresses are
usually pretty butt-ugly. 2 in

one year? I wouldn't blame
her for taking revenge.

[Mal] A bit extreme
wouldn't you say?

[Jake] Yeah, it's not exactly a
motivation to ruin an entire

wedding. But there was, you're right,
definitely something up with her.

[Rose] Fine, whatever.

[Jake] Uhh.

[Des] Uh.

[Jake and Des] I
have to take this.

[Mal] You okay?

[Rose] Yeah.

[Mal] You sure you're okay?

[Rose] Mmm-hmmm.

[Mal] You seem a little off.

[Rose] Nope. I'm fine.
But if you keep asking me and I won't be.

[Mal] Huh?

[Jake] No, no. Just, uh, working a case.
Where are you at?

[Allison] I haven't seen ya in
a couple of days and I have a

court date that just got cancelled.
How about a bite?

[Jake] Depends though, what kinda
bite you're talking about.

[Des] Oh, that's so strange, I
was just thinking about you. Uh,

nothing dirty. I was just...
Thinking.

[Tinny] Shut up, I need your help.

[Des] Good, yeah, I can help in any way.
People often say how helpful I can be.

[Tinny] Meet me at Chantel's, and bring
the van. I need to move the product.

[Des] No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, Mal will never, and I'm

not really comfortable with
grand theft drug moving. Oh, my

God, should I have said
that on the phone?

[Tinny] Just do it, Des.

[Des] Hello? Tinny. Tinny.

Tinny!

[Jake] Mmm-hmm. Well, yeah, I
look forward to that and thank

you for calling me.

[Mal] I hate this crap.
So decadent.

[Rose] That's a bit
extreme don't ya think?

[Mal] I just don't see the point.
[Rose] The point is you get on a

plane and you fly away and the world
doesn't end while you are gone.

[Mal] We're in the
middle of a case.

[Rose] You're just scared
no one will miss you.

[Mal] Knock it off,
I'm not scared.

[Rose] Malachy I'm joking, okay?

You could stand to
relax once in a while.

[Jake] Uh, you two, uh,
you're all right there?

[Mal] Yeah, we're fine.

[Jake] Right, Des why
don't you come with me?

[Des] All right.

[Jake] Anyone know where
we could find Chad?

[Rose] He runs a boat
tour in the harbour.

[Des] Uh, I actually have a thing.

[Rose] O'Brien's Cruises.

[Jake] Okay, good.
Dad she's right, learn the chill. Oh these

are your keys, sorry.

[Rose] Thank you so much, Jake.

[Mal] You learn to chill.

[Chad] Tour the narrows!

Cheapest trip out of St. John's!

Cheapest trip out of the
harbour folks, there ya are.

[Jake] Chaddy. Dude. How you doing man?
Jake man, Jake Doyle.

I met you the last time I was in town.
I was at your stag.

[Chad] Right, right. Yeah, yeah.

[Jake] So, how's it going? How's married
life? You were with Trina, right?

[Chad] Yeah, Tricia. Yeah, no we're, uh...
[Jake] Perfect for each other?

That's what you kept saying that night,
you know? Over and over and over.

[Chad] Yeah, no. She's marrying someone else.
You know, some

nerd. Plays videos
games for a living.

[Jake] Wow, video games.
That sucks.

[Chad] Yeah, can you believe it?

First me, then she says yes to some crazy...
Rich guy, and now, super geek.

[Jake] Tricia's been engaged twice
since you've been with her?

[Chad] Yeah, she left me for
some guy, Edward Mykos. Yeah,

Tricia's a flake. Commitment issues, you know.
She'll get hers. Everyone does.

[Jake] Yeah, right. Edward Mykos.
I'll see ya around.

[Chad] Yeah, yeah. Tour the narrows.
Most romantic trip out of out St. John's.

[Des] Excellent undercover work, man.
Excellent. I was watching

you, right, and I completely,
completely forgot that you

didn't actually know the guy.

[Jake] Looks like Tricia's been
collecting fiancés. And we gotta

track down this guy, his
name is Edward Mykos.

[Des] Hey isn't that uh, isn't that
the jealous bridesmaid, Carlie?

[Jake] Yeah, it is.

[Des] Should we follow her
to see where she's going?

[Jake] No, let's track down Mykos, first.
Uh, we'll check on this, later.

[Des] Hello?

[Tinny] Hey, how's it going?

Where are you?

[Des] Uh, I can't talk.
No, vay, evendez.

[Tinny] Des, I need you to
get here before Dylan does.

[Tinny] Desmond, I'm serious.

You get here in 30 minutes or less
and you'll be my hero forever.

[Jake] Des!

[Des] Yeah, yeah!

[Mal] I have a business to run, Rose!
I can't leave right now.

We're overloaded as it is.

[Rose] A break.
Seriously, running around with Jake, all

this work, you need one.
I'm just sayin' it wouldn't kill ya

to take a vacation
once in a while.

[Mal] In a couple
of months, drop it.

[Rose] Drop it?
You need to slow down.

[Mal] Oh, so now it's about me?

I'm fine, thanks very much.

[Rose] Really? Okay, ha...
[Allison] Hi.

[Jake] Hey.

[Mal] Hello.

[Allison] I, uh...
[Jake] Court.

[Allison] I...
[Allison and Jake] Have to go to court.

[Allison] It was nice seeing you.
Thanks for lunch.

[Jake] Hey, my pleasure.
Thank you very much for coming by on

such short notice and for...
[Allison] Bye!

[Jake] I'll call ya.

[Allison] Okay.

[Jake] We were just discussing
legal real estate positions.

[Mal] Is our office a
university frat house?

[Rose] You know what? You are right, Mal.
Why would we leave all of this.

[Jake] No, we were in a meeting,
it was, whatever. Why don't you,

you know? The case.
What about that guy I told you to find, uh,

Edward Mykos.
What do ya got on him?

[Rose] Yeah, Edward Mykos runs a
software company in town. Top

secret development.

[Jake] It's a bit weird though, isn't it?
Neither Joyce nor

Patricia told us
anything about this guy?

[Mal] Clients eh? They want to
pick and choose which skeletons

we pull out of their closets.

[Jake] Right o you got
an address for him?

[Rose] Right there.

[Jake] I'll go find out what
kind of secret enterprise he's

up to...
Like sabotaging a wedding, maybe.

[Mal] Next time, hold your
private meetings somewhere else.

[Rose] Or yeah, or put a coat
hanger on the doorknob, frat boy.

[Edward] From Hong Kong.
So, he's going to need some kind of

gift. Those people like you know, whatever.
Id don't know.

[Jake] Edward Mykos. How you doing?
I, uh, I'm your three thirty.

[Edward] Really? My three thirty is
a graphics designer from Hong Kong.

[Jake] Oh, okay.
Well I'm your four o'clock, then.

[Edward] Get security.
So, who are you, really? Corporate spy?

Reporter? Fashion insider?

[Jake] No. Actually, I'm a
private detective. I was hired

by Joyce Clowe.
She's trying to find out who's trying to

sabotage Tricia's wedding.
Now, you two, you have a bit of a past.

[Edward] Oh, it would be horrible for
someone to ruin Tricia's big day.

[Jake] Being ditched at the
altar leaves quite a sting, wa?

Is it affecting your self-esteem?
Because I'm tellin'

ya, it's nothing a night at
the Sundance won't cure.

[Edward] My self-esteem is just
fine, thank you. More than I can

say for Tricia's newest
fiancé, Matthew.

[Jake] So you know Matthew?

[Edward] I fired him... two months ago.
They're a good pair,

those two. Thick as thieves.

[Jake] Really?
So what is it you do here, exactly?

[Edward] We design and distribute
the latest in online entertainment.

[Jake] Video games. Exciting.

[Edward] Look, I could care less
about Tricia, her mother or the

deadbeat... Matthew.
So, this is goodbye.

[Jake] Well, thank you
for your time. Bye.

[Jake] Just, you know, take her
out for dinner or something. You

know, stop being so contrary.

It's a fight you
can't win, trust me.

[Mal] I love that all of a sudden
you're some marriage expert.

[Jake] Edward. That was Edward.

I just saw him like, two minutes
ago on water street. What the

hell's he doing here
in such a hurry?

[Joyce] I don't want to pay for
caviar that's gone bad. Excuse me.

[Jake] You want to tell us why we just
saw Edward barrelling out of here?

[Joyce] Edward? Edward who?

[Jake] Edward who?
You know your daughter's other fiancé. What

does that make three in
the last six months.

[Mal] Is there a reason you
didn't mention Edward?

[Joyce] I'm sorry.
I should have mentioned him. It's just that

Edward Mykos is an embarrassing
mistake that we'd like to

forget.
I don't think he's doing this.

[Jake] And why is that?

[Joyce] Cancelled wedding cakes
and such, that's not his style.

He's much more ruthless than that.

[Matthew] Package arrived for Trish.
Do you know if she got it or?

[Jake] Uh,

[Joyce] Oh, my God!

[Jake] You okay?

[Tricia] Yeah.

[Joyce] You're sure you're okay?

[Tricia] Yes... [Jake] Shouldn't
we uh, you know, go inside?

[Tricia] No, I'm fine. I'm okay.

I'm... [Matthew] What were
you even doing in there?

[Tricia] I got the veil and I
just wanted to try it on and the

fire just came out of nowhere.

[Mal] The fire department says
the blaze in the tent was caused

by an accelerant.

[Tricia] And Edward
Mykos was here?

[Joyce] Now let's not get
spooked by all of th. You just

pull yourself together
and focus on tomorrow.

[Jake] Okay, call meld
fashioned but a bride catching

on fire seems like a
bit of a bad omen. No?

[Joyce] We're not cancelling.

Not after all this hard
work and preparation.

[Tricia] Mom, no.
I have no intention of backing down. I was

not raised that way.
I'm getting married tomorrow, as planned.

[Joyce] Then let's just find out
who did it and stop this nonsense.

[Jake] Carlie. We need to ask
you a couple of questions.

[Carlie] Uh, sure.

[Jake] You know, due to the
recent events, I think this

one's kind of pertinent.
What's your relationship with Chad? And

why were you going to
see him at this work?

[Carlie] I told him to back off.

He's a stalker. He's a freak.

Tricia doesn't need that right now, you know.
The girls are here I gotta go.

[Jake] Looks like the stagette is starting.
Maybe they need a stripper?

[Mal] Things are getting a
little heated around here.

Someone should stick around and
keep an eye on these girls.

[Jake] Yeah, I know a
guy who likes to watch.

[Des] Tinny. Anybody?

[Des] Hello?

[Tinny] Where have you been?

[Des] Aah! Tinny. Be careful, one false
move and I could have taken you out.

[Tinny] Shhh. Help me get these
bags out before Dylan finds out.

[Des] Hello.

[Jake] Des, why are
you whispering?

[Des] Uh, uh...
I have laryngitis, it runs in my

family. Two of my uncles
died of it during the war.

[Jake] Well just, you know,
gargle or whatever and get over

here. I need you to
babysit some bridesmaids.

[Des] Excellent, I'll be right there.
Oww what are you hitting me for?

[Tinny] You said you'd help me!

[Des] But I have work and I
will, but just look at what

you're doing here Tinny.
This noseworthy guy is a creep... and

you're not a creep so just
walk away from this and go.

[Tinny] I owe him a
thousand dollars.

[Des] What?

[Tinny] Shhh!

[Dylan] Tinny?

[Tinny] Get the bags, go, go.

Get out. Go. Take them, get out.

Go. Pull me up. Ahh!
Dylan let go. Des, pull!

[Dylan] Give me the bags!

[Tinny] Des.

[Des] Oh my God, I just
hit a drug dealer.

[Tinny] Forget him. Let's go!

[Edward] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We got all that. You don't have to

repeat yourself. Yes, I've read the contracts.
What do you take

me for? I have to go,
I'll call you right back.

[Jake] Whattaya at, Eddie?

You're a brave man leaving the top down.
See, the gulls they're

the size of dogs in this town.

[Edward] What do you want?

[Jake] I saw you leaving Tricia's,
just before the tent caught on fire.

[Edward] Really? Couldn't have happened
to a nicer couple. Is the wedding off?

[Jake] No, actually.

Disappointed?

[Edward] Someone's wasting a lot of energy.
Tricia will just bail

out before the wedding.
She always does.

[Jake] Well, maybe you're just making sure.
For good measure, I mean.

[Edward] I got better things to
do with my time than ruin that's

brat's new wedding plans.

[Jake] Well, uh.
You enjoy your drive, today.

[Edward] It's me. I did what you
suggested but it didn't work.

[Recorded voice/Edward] Look, the offer
was throw right back in my face.

[Recorded voice/Carlie] Well, try again.
Do you know what'll

happen? The day after the
wedding, the onslaught begins.

[Jake] That's the only interesting stuff.
The rest is

him ordering a squash court and
butchering the words of some

classic rock tune. What's that, dad?
Why yes, it is interesting

that Carlie, the bridesmaid,
is calling Edward Mykos. Rose?

You're right, the onslaught begins?
What the hell does that

mean? It's a very odd turn of phrase.
So this is what it's

come to? Huh? Two of you giving
each other the silent treatment.

That's very mature guys.
So obviously, Edward Mykos wants

the wedding stopped.
But it doesn't mean he's behind all of

this. And now we've got Carlie, the
hot bridesmaid, calling all the exes.

[Mal] Women like to
stir up trouble.

[Rose] Oh, as if men
are any different.

[Jake] Oh, okay.

[Rose] Chad has a restraining order
against him from a previous relationship.

[Jake] Before Tricia?

[Mal] Why are you looking
at me like that?

[Rose] Like what?

[Jake] Ahh... Joyce is awfully
eager to have this wedding

happen, tomorrow. So you know what?
I'm going to go talk to

her to find out why.

[Mal] I'm coming.

[Rose] I'm comin' too.

[Jake] Oh, this will be fun.

[Joyce] Sweetheart. Sweetheart.

Sweetheart. Sweetheart.
How am I supposed to think through all of

this? You, take that limo and
get these girls out of here.

[Des] Oh no, no, no, no. We're not here...
[Tinny] Yeah. Sure we'll drive

them. That's great.

[Joyce] Girls, let's go.
Time to go.

[Des] The weed? What are you doing?
What are you doing? What,

you can't put that in there.

[Tinny] What? We can't drive around in Dylan's car.
He'll be looking for me.

[Des] It's a stretch limo
full of drunken bridesmaids.

Hot... yes. Low profile... no.

[Tinny] Well, would you look at
it and think it's full of 20

grand worth of pot?

[Tinny] Come on, rubber
boots, it's a tradition.

[Joyce] Can you get them
out of here, please?

[Des] We're still kinda
talking this through, here.

[Mal] That is not what I say.

[Tinny] Des.

[Mal] No it's not.

[Rose] You're taking it back now?

[Des] Everyone in the limo.

Everyone in the limo! Everyone in the limo.
In the limo, in the

limo, in the limo. Doors and windows closed.
In the limo, in

the limo, in the limo.

[Carlie] I'm not feeling so good.
It's not a good time to

move. I'll catch up later.

[Jake] Guys, please!

[Rose] Well, you tell me!

[Jake] Was that just my
assistant, Des, driving that?

[Joyce] Well, I had to get that
stagette out of here. Luckily,

the limo showed up.
I think one of the girls organized it. No

driver, keys in the ignition.

It's one good thing
to have happened.

[Des] Hey! Sit down back there.

Now, I'm serious.
No moving while the limo is in motion.

[Tinny] Des.

[Des] What? It's Jake.

[Des] It's Jake!

[Tinny] Gun it, Courtney.

[Jake] Answer the phone!

[Rose] Y are about as much fun as bingo
night at a retirement home, almost!

[Jake] Answer the phone!

[Rose] So full of pride.
That's what it is. You're full of

pride! Honest to God, you drive me nuts!
Just admit you're

scared. This is how you
behave when you are scared!

[Mal] Scared of what? Travelling to Mexico?
I have work to do!!

[Des] He says I should pull over.
I should pull over.

[Tinny] Are you nuts?

[Rose] It's a vacation, people have them!
It's okay to have

fun once in a while.

[Mal] You're just
like your mother!

[Jake] Hoh-hoh...
You're on your own now, skipper.

[Mal] If you don't want to get
married, that's fine. Just out

with it. It's making me crazy!

[Rose] Not get married?
What are you talking about, not getting married?

[Mal] You tell me.

[Jake] You two stay here!

[Rose] I am trying to plan a vacation and
suddenly I don't want to get married?

[Jake] Get out of the car!

[Tricia] What are you doing here?

[Des] Please don't hurt me.

Please don't kill me.

[Tricia] You are so...
[Jake] There's a bomb in the

car! Go, go, get everyone out!

Tinny!

[Tinny] Hi.

[Jake] What the hell? Come on!

[Mal] Yes or no! Do ya or not?

[Rose] Honestly?

[Jake] Come on!

[Mal] Jake?

[Rose] Is he in there?

[Rose] Is everybody okay?

[Mal] What is going on here?

[Jake] Looks like someone is
trying to kill the bride.

[Tricia] Oh my God.
How did this happen?

[Jake] Do you think Edward or
Chad would be extreme enough to,

you know, plant a
bomb in your car?

[Tricia] I have no idea.
I just, I can't deal with this right now.

[Mal] You'll be fine. We'll keep you
safe and find out who's behind this.

[Jake] Let's get you a cup of tea.
The cops are doing an

analysis on the bomb. We should know
more tonight. Is Joyce on her way?

[Mal] I told her to sit tight.

We should get the girl back
home, keep an eye on her. She

said Carlie would take her.

[Jake] And where is Carlie, anyway?
She wasn't in the limo.

Is that customary that the maid
of honour, you know, accompany

the bride to the stagette party?

[Mal] Some best friend, huh?

[Jake] Yeah, just
uh, give me a sec.

[Rose] Mal, hey.
Nothing like firebombs killin' your whole

family to put things
in perspective, huh?

[Mal] Yeah. I'm sorry.
I was a jerk.

[Rose] No, no... yeah,
you were, actually.

[Mal] So, you sure you wanna...
You know, do the deed?

Marry me and that.

[Rose] Yes, of course, Malachy.

I never doubted that for a second.
Have you?

[Mal] No. Do it right now, but the
client might be a little ticked.

[Rose] I think that all of this
juvenile anticipation on my part

has made me a bit nuts.
I mean, I've been looking at wedding

magazines like a
20 year old bride.

[Mal] Let's do it simple. Cheap.

For just you and me. Look honey,
I want nothing more than for you

to marry me forever.
That's all that counts, right?

[Rose] Yeah, sounds about right.

Cheap, really?

[Mal] Yeah.

[Jake] How ya doin'?

[Tinny] Good. That's the last time I
go on a joyride with Des, though.

[Jake] Knock it off. Come clean with me.
What are you into here?

All right Tinny, I can't help
you if you're going to be

stupid. So why don't you think
about how you're explain to me

the huge smell of marijuana that
came from the burning limo that

you just happened to be in.
You know what, don't say anything.

Just think about how you're
going to explain it to me. And

think about how I'm going to
keep you out of jail with all

this. Honestly, Tinny, I
expected better from you.

[Des] Tinny, we need... we need
to make it right with Dylan. Ok.

We don't want him any madder. We did...
Hit him in the head with

a bat, steal 20 thousand in
drugs and rip off his car.

[Tinny] We can't make it right Des.
I owe him a grand and my

nest egg just burned. I'm screwed.

[Jake] Hello, Matthew.

[Mal] Bride almost blows up with
her full wedding party... you'd

think the groom would pop by for
a "how you doin'"? Far cry from

what Trish is used to.

[Jake] Oh, it's a dandy
little apartment.

[Mal] Maybe you
should move in here.

[Jake] What the hell
is all of this?

[Jake] I have to take this.

Hello.

[Allison] Did you
solve your case, yet?

[Jake] Uh, yeah, well I'm working on it.
How you doin'?

[Allison] Take another stab at that lunch meeting?
Are you around later?

[Jake] Yeah, we're going to
be working late. But, um...

[Allison] Uh, don't worry.
I'm a night owl, too. Do you have a

strange feeling are clicking into place, here?
Or is that just me?

[Jake] No, I mean no, I mean yes,
I mean no, I mean it's not

just yes... I... what I'm trying
to say is, um... yeah. Wait up

for me, I want to...
I want to see you.

[Allison] Good.

[Mal] What do you got?

[Jake] I've got a feeling that
our groom is not as squeaky

clean as he's lettin' on.

[Mal] Hey, there he is.

[Christian] Dad.

[Jake] Hey, new gig?

[Christian] I gotta do something.
Dad set it up. Plus,

you know, booze was
never my problem.

[Jake] Cops aren't chasing
ya and you're off the crack

so... you gotta do something
I suppose, right.

[Christian] Don't
worry, I got plans.

[Jake] Plans?

[Christian] Let me get a few
things together and then trust

me, I'll be coming to you, first.

[Jake] Terrific.
I look forward to it.

[Christian] Hey Jake, listen, uh.
Thank you. You know, for

being my brother...
And for being there when I needed it.

[Jake] Whatever.

[Rose] All right, this file you
nabbed from Matthew's apartment

contains the early work for a video game.
It's kinda like a

blueprint for a game engine which is what
makes a videogame work on the inside.

[Jake] So, how much is
all this stuff worth?

[Rose] Are you ready for it?

40 million dollars.

[Mal] What?
For little men playing jump and run?

[Rose] Yeah.

[Jake] So, it turns out Matthew
is a video game designer... not

a player like he was letting on.

[Rose] And check this out.
The back of this design there's like

a handwritten contract.

[Jake] Why don't you have
Walter look into that.

[Rose] Yeah.

[Mal] What does a videogame engine
have to do with cancelling a wedding?

[Rose] I don't know.

[Jake] What is going on with my niece?
Why was she in that limo

with you? And why did the whole
place smell like pot after it

blew up? Tell me everything Des,
or I swear to God I will hang

you upside down from
junction's deck until you cry.

[Des] On man, Tinny's gonna kill me.
But you would kill me much

more painfully. Hey, can I uh,
get an advance on my salary?

[Jake] Are you out of your mind?

[Des] A tiny thousand. You can give it
to me in coins, I'll roll it myself.

[Jake] Why does Tinny
need a thousand bucks?

[Des] Hockey memorabilia?

[Jake] Practice full confession
Des, because I'm going to get

this information out of you even
if I have to water board you

myself. Do you understand?

[Rose] Oh. Doyle and Doyle, Rose...
uh-huh, yeah. He's actually right here. It's

Tricia.

[Jake] Yeah.

[Tricia] I just got another letter from Chad.
It's him. He's

sabotaging the wedding.

[Jake] A letter from Chad?
What did it say?

[Tricia] It says he's going
to kill himself at our "usual

spot". He's pathetic, okay, so he'd totally do it.
I can't live with that.

[Jake] Okay, Tricia. Do not go see him.
All right, he...

[Jake] Tricia. Rose, call Joyce
see if you can find out where

Chad and her usual spot is.
Dad we gotta go.

[Rose] Okay.

[Jake] Hey Des, I'll see ya later.

[Jake] This looks
like Tricia's car.

[Mal] Tricia!

[Jake] Tricia! Her purse, her id.

[Mal] It's from Chad.
Looks like she's been kidnapped.

[Leslie] We're going to hold onto the letter.
See what forensics makes of it.

[Jake] Okay great.
I took a few snaps of it with my phone, I

hope that's all right.

[Leslie] Look, whatever helps find her.
And we've got an a.P.B. Out on Chad.

[Jake] Whatever you find, if you could
let me know I'd really appreciate it.

[Leslie] You're worried
about this one.

[Jake] Chad might have a bit of
a violent past and Tricia is

terrible when it comes to choosing her men, so...
[Leslie] And the wedding is

tomorrow? Poor thing.

[Jake] Yeah.

[Leslie] By the way, limo bomb,
it's a simple incendiary device.

Two small pressurized gas canisters
strapped to the exhaust. Forensics said it

should have been more bang than bomb.
Wouldn't have done much

more than take the tailpipe off
if the limo hadn't busted a gas

line going 150 on those roads.

[Jake] Really? What?
Can't I keep them?

[Leslie] Just one.

[Mal] What did ya find?

[Jake] Well, you know those
lanterns that Joyce had?

[Mal] The gas canisters?

[Jake] Yeah, that's
what blew up the limo.

[Jake] It's Rose.

[Mal] Say hello to her for me.

[Jake] I will. Hello.

[Rose] Guess who showed
up looking for us?

[Chad] Still loves me.
I knows it. I knows it.

[Rose] Drink this. Please.

[Chad] Ugh...

[Rose] I'll get it. Don't worry.

[Chad] I'm sorry.

[Jake] Okay well, you keep him there.
We'll be right over.

[Jake] Read it.

[Chad] My throat's dry.
Dearest Tricia, you're still gettin'

married tomorrow.
I've tried to stop the wedding, but now I'm

gonna kill myself at our usual spot.
I didn't write that.

[Jake] Then who did?

[Chad] Look, I don't know.
I admit that I had a hard time

gettin' over her, but that
penmanship is terrible.

[Jake] All right, next question.

Carlie, why did she go visit
you at the harbour, today?

[Chad] You weren't
at my stag were ya?

[Jake] No, I wasn't.
Have some coffee. Think.

[Chad] Carlie, Carlie, Carlie
was trying to convince me to

talk to Tricia before it was too late.
I told her to piss

off... she told me to piss off.

Really, I'm done with women, period.
You don't have a beer, do ya?

[Jake] Maybe I'll call the cops and
have you arrested. That'll sober ya up.

[Des] Weird, I didn't
hear ya knock.

[Dylan] You almost took my head off with that bat.
I want my product back.

[Des] Your product? Well, uh, I believe
the ladies feel it's their product.

[Dylan] Where's Tinny?
Let's ask her about our little deal.

[Des] Tinny's no longer involved.
You deal with me, now.

[Dylan] Seriously?
Hmm, well I want my car back and I want that

stash. This is really boring me.

[Des] Well, finally we agree on something.
Let the negotiations begin.

[Dylan] Is there something
wrong with you?

[Des] You know, your car...
It's got lots of character. A

right-hand drive, very unusual.

It's got a nice grip.
You can really feel the power at your

fingertips. If you want to see
the rest of your car ain, in

one piece, it's gonna cost you.

[Dylan] It's gonna cost me?

What, are you kidding me?

[Des] Let's say... a thousand dollars.
Uh, a finder's fee. Or,

I can keep sending it to
you one part at a time.

[Dylan] Grand theft auto.
I could just call the cops on you, man.

[Des] It's true, ya, ya, you could.
But considering you he

no insurance and the car's not registered.
Also, the cops might

be wonderin' how you got it.

Nothing illegal, I hope.

[Dylan] I don't have
a thousand dollars.

[Des] Then we venture to the barter system.
The car and my

silence for Tinny's debt.

[Dylan] Fine.
I was done with her, anyway.

[Des] And...
You never bother us again.

[Dylan] Whatever, dude.

[Des] It's on the corner of bond
and Victoria; Keys are under the

mat. Oh, and you'll be needing these too.
Uh, sorry, I wasn't

sure how far this would go.

They'll snap right back on.

[Jake] Hey Matthew.

[Matthew] Yeah?
What are you doing here?

[Mal] That's what
I'd like to know.

[Jake] Whatcha doin', buddy?

[Matthew] Me?
Nothing, you know, just workin' out.

[Mal] To sopranos sax music?

[Matthew] Yeah, it pumps me up.

[Jake] Really?

[Matthew] Yeah.

[Jake] Your bride,
Patricia, she disappeared.

[Matthew] Tricia's disappeared?

[Jake] Yeah, that's right.
You wouldn't happen to know anything

about that would ya?

[Matthew] You're yelling.

[Jake] I wasn't talkin' to you.

[Mal] Hi.

[Carlie] Hi.

[Jake] Hey, where's the bride?

Where's Tricia?

[Jake] So, it's an affair?

[Matthew] No, no.
This never happened before. I don't even

know how it happened now.

[Carlie] It's just sex.
It's no big deal.

[Jake] Really, how do you think
your best friend would feel

about that? Tricia's supposed to
marry this guy in a few hours.

[Mal] I have to say, you don't
seem to worried about her.

[Matthew] Hey, where did you get that?
That's intellectual

property. It's my video game.

[Rose] Yeah. Walter says this is
a crude contract between Edward

Mykos' company and the
designer, Matthew, here.

[Matthew] Mykos totally
ripped me off.

[Rose] Okay, Matthew signed over
his rights to Edward for the

game engine for 10
percent of the profits.

[Jake] So, would that
contract hold up in court?

[Matthew] No, he just wrote it
up at my place when I first

showed him the engine.
The guy's a crook. He's a liar!

[Rose] You'd have to have a
small fortune to fight him on

this. But Matthew would win
the rights back in the end.

[Jake] And the 40 million dollars.
But you don't got the

cash to fight mykos
in court, do ya?

[Mal] But Joyce and Tricia do.

[Matthew] Look, it
was Joyce's idea.

[Jake] Joyce's?

[Matthew] Yeah, I showed her the
contract at Tricia and Edward's

engagement party.

[Mal] Bye bye Edward...
Hello Matthew.

[Rose] Well, no wonder Edward's
trying to stop the wedding.

Joyce can fight the legal
battles and her and Tricia will

get half because of Tricia's
marriage to Matthew.

[Mal] But they're loaded all ready.
Do you really think

Tricia would marry for
a few measly million?

[Matthew] Woah-woah.
If you think Tricia's playing me for

the money, you're wrong.
She's really into me. What? You think

she's just after the cash?

[Jake] I don't know Carlie,
what do you think?

[Carlie] How should I know?

[Jake] You're her best friend, aren't ya?
Rose, could you do me

a favour? Can you look into uh,
Joyce's mansion and see who's

name it's really under?

[Carlie] Get out of my purse!

[Jake] Oh don't worry, I'm not
looking for lipstick. I just

needs to borrow your phone.

Sorry. Shh. Hi, ya, uh, sorry.

It's not Carlie, I know.

Actually, it's Jake Doyle.
Just wanted to let you know that the

wedding is still on.
Would you mind meeting me there? Thanks.

[Jake] I invited mykos.
He should be here any minute.

[Mal] Why?

[Jake] I don't know. Could be fun to
have the whole gang here, wouldn't it?

[Joyce] Stop, stop.
Have you found her?

[Jake] You haven't
heard from her, huh?

[Joyce] The police called to
say that Chad was in custody.

[Jake] Right. Hey, buddy!

[Joyce] What the hell
is he doing here?

[Jake] Oh, mykos? I invited him.

[Edward] Not so much invited as threatened.
You have no proof I

sabotaged this wedding.

[Joyce] Oh, so it's you is it?

Well, you just try and stop it,
and if you've come here to make

another offer, the answer is no.

You will have your day in court.

[Jake] And you'll have your
money, right Joyce? How long

have you been living
on appearances?

[Joyce] What are
you talking about?

[Mal] You promised Matthew here
you'd fund his legal battle.

[Jake] But... you were hoping
Edward would keep upping his

offer.
Truth is, you're flat broke.

[Joyce] What? You're insane.

[Jake] I looked into your little
pile of bricks. It's a rental.

And why is it you never want to invite us in?
Even when I had to

go to the bathroom? 'Cause the
carpets are getting cleaned, right?

[Joyce] What are you doing?
Come back here. Do I have to call the

police?
You are now officially fired!

[Jake] It's okay, I never
thought you were going to be

able to pay me anyways. Wow...
Now, I am no interior designer,

but I have a feeling that when
you have a house you're supposed

to have a few sticks of
furniture in it, huh?

[Matthew] You said you were rich.
You said you were having the house painted.

[Edward] Ha-ha-ha, priceless!

Fantastic!

[Joyce] I did it for Tricia.
She needs to live the way she was brought up.

[Edward] You're a gold digger,
Joyce, plain and simple. You

auctioned off your daughter
to the highest bidder.

[Joyce] Where is Tricia?
I will never forgive myself if any harm

comes to her. The person who sabotaged
the wedding must have taken her.

[Jake] That is kinda true.
And uh, well, they're here. Hello.

[Tricia] I'm so sorry mom. It's just...
I couldn't go through with it.

[Jake] Sorry for the phone call there, Tricia.
I figured you'd,

you know, only answer it if it was
your best friend who was calling.

[Mal] You didn't mean to set
yourself on fire, or really blow

up the limo, did ya?

[Tricia] No.
I guess I'm not that good at sabotage.

[Jake] But hey, it's the
thought that counts.

[Tricia] I just couldn't let you down.
I... I just thought you'd

call it off, or maybe
Matthew would.

[Joyce] Tricia.

[Tricia] I just need to live my
own life and I'm really sorry I

couldn't tell you that.

[Jake] Carlie you're some friend, huh?
First you try to

get Chad to sabotage the wedding
and then you get Eddie here to

up his offer. You even went so
far as to sleep with Matthew.

[Carlie] I'm a good maid of
honour, what can I say? Plus,

Matthew's pretty cute.

[Matthew] Well, you are super hot.
She is... pretty attractive.

[Mal] Hmmm...

[Jake] Oh! Sorry. Forgive me.

Uh, hello. Hi, uh listen, I'm really am sorry.
How about we do breakfast? Yeah?

[Mal] Jake, come
home soon, will ya?

[Jake] What?

[Mal] Please. It's important.

[Jake] Okay, I'll meet you in a second.
All right well, goodbye.

[Jake] Hey. Listen, I appreciate
you meeting me and I'm sorry

last night kinda turned into today
so, thank you for meeting me.

[Allison] You're here now.

[Jake] Um... I'm really sorry I, I, uh.
How'd you like to go see

my dad at his house?

[Allison] Sure, whatever.
What is this a trick for me to meet

your parents with my clothes on?

[Jake] No, he's just... I dunno,
he's acting really weird

and he won't stop calling and texting me.
So, I'd really

appreciate it.
We can go on from there.

[Allison] Yeah, no problem.
The adventure continues, right?

[Jake] Hello. Dad. What's the big...
[Christian] Brother. Good to see ya.

[Allison] Hi.

[Jake] What is this?
Some kind of classy intervention?

[Mal] Show time, son.

[Rose] And you brought a date.

I'm Rose, nice to almost meet
ya in the office the other day.

[Allison] Yeah, I... we... I'm Allison.

[Rose] Hi.

[Mal] Attention everyone.
Rose and I would like to announce

that our engagement is over.

[Jake] Really?

[Rose] That's right...
Because we're going to get married right now.

[Mal] Exactly.

[Jake] Um, this is my family.

[Rose] Let's do this.

[Mal] Jake, Christian, the
best man stands over here.

Are all dreaming♪

[Christian] She's hot. Nice work.

[Jake] You just... watch yourself.

[Rose] So, wanna get hitched?

[Mal] Yeah.

[Rose] Cool. Great. All right.

Here we go, cheers.

[Everyone] Cheers.

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