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1
00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:41,794
- Hi, Sarah.
- Hello.
2
00:00:41,795 --> 00:00:43,462
What'd you do last night?
3
00:00:43,463 --> 00:00:45,531
- Peyote.
- What?
4
00:00:45,532 --> 00:00:48,501
- Something called peyote and, uh, liquor.
- Oh, boy.
5
00:00:48,502 --> 00:00:52,404
I ate something small someone gave me.
I wasn't... I don't know what it was.
6
00:00:52,405 --> 00:00:56,142
- Okay.
- And I slept with two of the seven whores.
7
00:00:56,143 --> 00:00:58,210
It was good.
8
00:00:58,211 --> 00:01:01,547
You know something, deputy?
You do a lot on your nights.
9
00:01:01,548 --> 00:01:03,582
You know what I did last night?
10
00:01:03,583 --> 00:01:06,719
I went home, I stripped naked.
11
00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:10,890
I, uh, read a little bit
of, uh, some romantic literature.
12
00:01:10,891 --> 00:01:12,725
I pleasured myself.
13
00:01:12,726 --> 00:01:16,095
And then I went right to bed
like a little tiny baby.
14
00:01:18,231 --> 00:01:20,733
Here comes the coach.
15
00:01:20,767 --> 00:01:23,303
John Henry Hoyle?
16
00:01:24,304 --> 00:01:27,206
- Xavier Pearson!
- Ha, ha!
17
00:01:27,207 --> 00:01:30,843
By God, you old dandy fat,
you get over here.
18
00:01:30,844 --> 00:01:33,680
What are you doing here?
19
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:35,882
Oh, you know...
20
00:01:36,817 --> 00:01:41,654
That's a good question. So did he tell
you we were roommates at Harvard?
21
00:01:43,156 --> 00:01:45,424
Oh, yeah, you had a hard time
those first six months.
22
00:01:45,425 --> 00:01:47,726
Talk about the Freshmen 15.
23
00:01:47,727 --> 00:01:50,396
This one gained the Freshmen 50!
24
00:01:52,399 --> 00:01:55,835
Ah, pot-bellied John Henry Hoyle.
25
00:01:57,337 --> 00:02:01,774
Harvard was a lot of fun.
Not for you, though. Ha-ha-ha.
26
00:02:02,542 --> 00:02:05,377
Oh. Xavier, this reminiscing's fantastic.
27
00:02:05,378 --> 00:02:07,479
How long are you here?
When are you leaving?
28
00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:09,715
Well, uh, how shall I say this?
29
00:02:09,716 --> 00:02:12,151
I'm here indefinitely.
30
00:02:12,152 --> 00:02:14,320
- What?
- I'm opening a bank.
31
00:02:14,321 --> 00:02:15,554
- Hey.
- Yeah.
32
00:02:15,555 --> 00:02:18,123
I'm gonna make it
the best bank in Kansas.
33
00:02:18,124 --> 00:02:21,293
- Yeah!
- Get this. Get this, everyone.
34
00:02:21,294 --> 00:02:23,762
- Free checking!
- Yeah!
35
00:02:23,763 --> 00:02:26,799
- No minimum deposit!
- Yeah!
36
00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:28,767
And every Sunday that you come in
37
00:02:28,768 --> 00:02:31,770
and deposit your 10 percent
to the church,
38
00:02:31,771 --> 00:02:34,006
I'll give you a gherkin!
39
00:02:35,175 --> 00:02:38,844
- What's a gherkin?
- It's a delicious pickle.
40
00:02:38,845 --> 00:02:41,347
A pickle, yeah!
41
00:02:42,716 --> 00:02:46,585
You got some ideas.
You should come work for me.
42
00:02:46,586 --> 00:02:50,217
Why do you wanna waste your time
with this guy? He'll be dead in a month.
43
00:02:50,357 --> 00:02:52,124
- Hi, boys.
- Honey Shaw.
44
00:02:52,125 --> 00:02:55,427
Please meet Xavier Pearson,
my, uh, roommate from college.
45
00:02:55,428 --> 00:02:58,197
How are you? Oh, ha-ha-ha.
46
00:02:58,198 --> 00:03:00,833
- So you two went to school together?
- Yes. Yes, at Harvard.
47
00:03:00,834 --> 00:03:04,103
But, uh, Xavier moved off-campus
sophomore year.
48
00:03:04,104 --> 00:03:07,840
Well, part of the story is that
he became smitten with a certain woman.
49
00:03:07,841 --> 00:03:10,409
Ahem. Believe you married her,
didn't you?
50
00:03:10,410 --> 00:03:11,710
Yes.
51
00:03:11,711 --> 00:03:13,545
Hoyle, you had a wife?
52
00:03:13,546 --> 00:03:16,282
Uh, yes. Yeah, I, uh, was married.
Her name was Myra.
53
00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:19,385
- Xavier introduced us.
- Yes, I did.
54
00:03:19,386 --> 00:03:22,221
I'm impressed. You suddenly
just got a little more interesting.
55
00:03:22,222 --> 00:03:23,489
What was she like?
56
00:03:23,490 --> 00:03:27,093
- Well, she was very flat-chested.
- Oh.
57
00:03:27,327 --> 00:03:30,462
Nice child-bearing hips.
I suppose that's a plus.
58
00:03:30,463 --> 00:03:34,366
Her eyes were a little slanty,
looking different directions.
59
00:03:34,367 --> 00:03:38,671
It was great at dinner parties, because
she could talk to two guests at one time.
60
00:03:38,672 --> 00:03:43,976
Fabulous conversationalist.
She was murdered.
61
00:03:44,778 --> 00:03:46,378
Shot in the back.
62
00:03:46,379 --> 00:03:49,315
Unknown assailant. Never been solved.
63
00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:51,383
So how did she die?
64
00:03:51,384 --> 00:03:56,055
We were out of ginger snaps,
which is a snack that I enjoyed at night.
65
00:03:56,423 --> 00:04:00,726
She offered to go to the general store
and purchase some more.
66
00:04:00,727 --> 00:04:05,097
On her return, someone shot her
in the back
67
00:04:05,098 --> 00:04:07,366
in cold blood.
68
00:04:07,367 --> 00:04:09,168
No one was ever charged.
69
00:04:09,169 --> 00:04:11,887
It's one of the reasons I went
into law enforcement.
70
00:04:13,540 --> 00:04:16,141
So you were the one
who liked the ginger snaps.
71
00:04:16,142 --> 00:04:19,578
She told me that she wanted to go,
Xavier.
72
00:04:19,579 --> 00:04:22,548
- But it's customary for the man to go.
- Yes, but she said:
73
00:04:22,549 --> 00:04:24,183
"I wanna get your ginger snaps."
74
00:04:24,184 --> 00:04:26,418
It was important to her.
I don't know why.
75
00:04:26,419 --> 00:04:30,489
- But, still, you should've gone.
- Yes! Yes, Xavier, I should've gone!
76
00:04:30,490 --> 00:04:33,792
I should've gone
to get the ginger snaps!
77
00:04:33,793 --> 00:04:38,197
I should've leapt out of bed,
taken off the zipper-hood I had on,
78
00:04:38,198 --> 00:04:39,365
put on my clothes,
79
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:43,268
and gone down to the general store
and gotten the ginger snaps!
80
00:04:43,269 --> 00:04:46,105
I killed my wife!
81
00:04:46,239 --> 00:04:52,144
I love ginger, but I
loved Myra even more.
82
00:04:54,447 --> 00:04:56,115
Um...
83
00:04:56,116 --> 00:04:58,117
I'll fold.
84
00:05:00,086 --> 00:05:02,221
It'll be here when you come back.
85
00:05:02,255 --> 00:05:04,890
Good day, banker. Ha-ha-ha.
86
00:05:04,891 --> 00:05:06,091
John Henry Hoyle.
87
00:05:06,092 --> 00:05:08,994
- You're supposed to be fishing today.
- Yes.
88
00:05:08,995 --> 00:05:12,797
Well, I wanted to come in
and, uh, wish you a happy grand opening.
89
00:05:12,798 --> 00:05:14,833
Well, you missed quite a show.
90
00:05:14,834 --> 00:05:17,002
We had a barbershop quartet
standing right there.
91
00:05:17,003 --> 00:05:20,071
Good. The town barbershop quartet,
very, very good.
92
00:05:20,072 --> 00:05:22,941
Yeah, the guy that can hit the high notes
is a real pro.
93
00:05:22,942 --> 00:05:26,245
- I don't know where you got him, but...
- It's not a man.
94
00:05:26,979 --> 00:05:30,015
No, it's, uh, Mr. Jenkins' daughter,
Tabitha.
95
00:05:30,016 --> 00:05:32,651
She hits that, "Ah!"
96
00:05:33,653 --> 00:05:35,921
- Oh, this is so fun.
- Yeah.
97
00:05:35,922 --> 00:05:37,389
But you know, I best be going.
98
00:05:37,390 --> 00:05:41,092
I'm getting a deep-tissue massage
from the village strongman.
99
00:05:41,093 --> 00:05:42,227
Oh.
100
00:05:42,228 --> 00:05:46,064
My buttocks have been just clenched
ever since that ride in on the carriage.
101
00:05:46,065 --> 00:05:48,300
Yes, yes, traveling's very difficult.
102
00:05:48,301 --> 00:05:50,602
But I have someone that can help you.
103
00:05:50,836 --> 00:05:53,305
I have a new teller. Eli.
104
00:05:56,175 --> 00:05:58,277
Woo. Well, I gotta go.
105
00:05:58,711 --> 00:06:00,312
What the hell are you doing here?
106
00:06:00,313 --> 00:06:02,147
It's a part-time thing.
107
00:06:02,148 --> 00:06:05,317
You are a lawman. That is a 24/7 job!
108
00:06:05,318 --> 00:06:08,153
Well, you have got a day off
and I've got my day off...
109
00:06:08,154 --> 00:06:13,024
But wait, when I have my day off,
that can't be when you have your day off.
110
00:06:13,025 --> 00:06:16,394
Well, sure, just think about it,
because there's a way that it could work.
111
00:06:16,395 --> 00:06:19,230
- I don't see how.
- When I'm in the bank, you're not the...
112
00:06:19,231 --> 00:06:20,966
Ladies and gentlemen.
113
00:06:20,967 --> 00:06:23,935
This is a stick-up!
Hands in the air and I won't kill you!
114
00:06:23,936 --> 00:06:26,838
You're Frank James.
Brother of Jesse James.
115
00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:28,807
Son of Linda and James James...
116
00:06:28,808 --> 00:06:29,975
Hands up!
117
00:06:29,976 --> 00:06:33,912
Mr. James, I just want you to know
we're all gonna do exactly as you order.
118
00:06:33,913 --> 00:06:36,648
So everybody, just please remain calm.
119
00:06:36,649 --> 00:06:38,584
Run! Go!
120
00:06:41,921 --> 00:06:45,257
- You threw a hat at Frank James!
- Well, yeah, and it worked.
121
00:06:46,025 --> 00:06:49,795
This is why I have a problem
with you taking a night job.
122
00:06:51,998 --> 00:06:55,767
- There is a $5,000 bounty on his head.
- Jesus. All right.
123
00:06:55,768 --> 00:06:58,136
I will give you that money
if you help me get him.
124
00:06:58,137 --> 00:06:59,871
- All right!
- All right, where's your gun?
125
00:06:59,872 --> 00:07:03,208
I don't have a gun.
I don't bring a gun into a bank.
126
00:07:03,209 --> 00:07:06,077
All right, here. Use Little Tina, okay?
127
00:07:06,078 --> 00:07:10,149
- Jesus.
- All right, ready? One, two, three.
128
00:07:14,253 --> 00:07:17,355
Give it up, sheriff. You don't know
who you're in a tussle with.
129
00:07:17,356 --> 00:07:21,360
Oh, I sure do, Mr. James.
I studied you in Harvard.
130
00:07:22,161 --> 00:07:25,797
I know your brother, I know you
and I know the Youngers.
131
00:07:26,132 --> 00:07:29,801
And I will arrest every last one of you.
132
00:07:29,802 --> 00:07:33,259
- The only one calling out...
- Frank! What are you doing down there?
133
00:07:33,773 --> 00:07:35,373
- I got an idea.
- Okay.
134
00:07:35,374 --> 00:07:37,109
Get out of here, Pearl.
135
00:07:41,047 --> 00:07:44,850
I got your girl, Frank.
Drop the gun or I'll shoot her.
136
00:07:50,690 --> 00:07:52,891
All right, calm down, Miss Star.
137
00:07:52,892 --> 00:07:54,826
You have no business arresting me!
138
00:07:54,827 --> 00:07:56,928
- I had nothing to do with this!
- I hear you talking.
139
00:07:56,929 --> 00:08:00,031
Your deputy dragged a lady
into a gunfight.
140
00:08:00,032 --> 00:08:02,033
Yeah, how did you do it, Eli?
141
00:08:02,034 --> 00:08:05,637
Well, I knew this was Frank James
and that this was Frank James' girl.
142
00:08:05,638 --> 00:08:08,773
- I have a name.
- I know your name. It is Pearl Star.
143
00:08:08,774 --> 00:08:12,377
- I am Eli Brocias and it is a pleasure...
- You keep your hands off her!
144
00:08:12,378 --> 00:08:15,680
All right, all right, stop right there.
145
00:08:15,681 --> 00:08:18,783
- Both of you. Both of you stop it.
- I wasn't doing anything!
146
00:08:18,784 --> 00:08:21,352
God, I feel like I'm at
a high-school cotillion dance.
147
00:08:21,353 --> 00:08:25,023
Now, Miss Pearl, you can cool down
and we'll sort all this out.
148
00:08:25,024 --> 00:08:26,891
- Come on!
- Sheriff, you gotta...
149
00:08:26,892 --> 00:08:29,828
- Let me get that for you, Miss Star.
- Thank you.
150
00:08:29,829 --> 00:08:31,663
Where'd you get this picture?
151
00:08:31,664 --> 00:08:34,165
- It's mine. I've had it forever.
- Did you pickpocket me?
152
00:08:34,166 --> 00:08:38,136
I've been handcuffed this whole time.
How do you think I got that picture?
153
00:08:38,137 --> 00:08:41,740
It's the same picture that I have.
154
00:08:41,741 --> 00:08:44,242
Why do you have a picture
of my wife, Myra?
155
00:08:44,243 --> 00:08:46,711
This is my mom, Belle Star.
156
00:08:46,712 --> 00:08:48,747
You don't know who Belle Star is?
157
00:08:48,748 --> 00:08:50,348
- Very famous outlaw.
- Very famous outlaw.
158
00:08:50,349 --> 00:08:52,717
- Prostituting. Bank stealing.
- Banks. Trains.
159
00:08:52,718 --> 00:08:54,786
- Trains, counterfeiting.
- Yeah. She's done it all.
160
00:08:54,787 --> 00:08:56,988
I mean, this is a dime store
picture magazine.
161
00:08:56,989 --> 00:08:59,691
- You can find those anywhere.
- That one's from The Long Mule Ride.
162
00:08:59,692 --> 00:09:01,893
- You read The Long Mule Ride?
- I read The Long Mule Ride.
163
00:09:01,894 --> 00:09:04,129
- I read The Short Mule Ride.
- The Short Mule Ride is good.
164
00:09:04,130 --> 00:09:05,697
- The Short Mule Ride...
- It was long.
165
00:09:05,698 --> 00:09:07,866
Okay, okay, thank you.
166
00:09:07,867 --> 00:09:12,737
We'll do some dime novel book reports
later on about my wife,
167
00:09:12,738 --> 00:09:15,840
who had a secret life and lied to me!
168
00:09:15,841 --> 00:09:20,845
So you're her dad
and she's your daughter.
169
00:09:20,846 --> 00:09:24,349
I think, technically,
I'm probably your step-father,
170
00:09:24,350 --> 00:09:26,651
because Myra and I never conceived.
171
00:09:26,652 --> 00:09:30,321
I had a testicle accident.
It was a horseback-riding accident.
172
00:09:30,322 --> 00:09:33,057
You know the saddle horn?
That thing up there that nobody...
173
00:09:33,058 --> 00:09:34,826
I mean, I don't even know why we use it.
174
00:09:34,827 --> 00:09:37,729
You know, it's a testicle-ripper
waiting to happen.
175
00:09:37,730 --> 00:09:39,197
Sometimes I'll put, like, an extra sock.
176
00:09:39,198 --> 00:09:41,132
That's a good idea.
Anyway, I'll tell you what.
177
00:09:41,133 --> 00:09:43,935
Because you're kin
and because I have no direct evidence
178
00:09:43,936 --> 00:09:46,104
linking you to the crime,
179
00:09:46,839 --> 00:09:48,407
I'm gonna let you go.
180
00:09:49,208 --> 00:09:52,610
But I want you to stay in town
and I want you to play it straight.
181
00:09:52,611 --> 00:09:54,345
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
182
00:09:54,346 --> 00:09:56,247
Daddy.
183
00:09:56,248 --> 00:09:58,550
Thank you, Pearl.
184
00:10:01,353 --> 00:10:03,388
So where's your buddy Eli?
185
00:10:03,389 --> 00:10:05,924
Oh. He's over at the jail
guarding Frank James.
186
00:10:05,925 --> 00:10:09,828
A U.S. marshal's coming to pick him up
day after tomorrow probably.
187
00:10:09,829 --> 00:10:13,131
I heard about the robbery.
Eli was a real hero, huh?
188
00:10:13,132 --> 00:10:19,471
What? No.
I had a lot to do with that bank robbery.
189
00:10:19,638 --> 00:10:21,806
All right, Eli did have
a lot to do with it.
190
00:10:21,807 --> 00:10:24,709
You gonna be reading
those sappy books all day?
191
00:10:24,710 --> 00:10:26,711
God, it's just...
192
00:10:26,712 --> 00:10:29,781
I mean, she lives this whole life
and then she doesn't tell me about it?
193
00:10:29,782 --> 00:10:33,818
Do you know how many times I've shed
my coat and gone into a different skin,
194
00:10:33,819 --> 00:10:35,954
like a lizard, and started a new life?
195
00:10:35,955 --> 00:10:38,890
- That's weird to me.
- It's not weird. It's what women do.
196
00:10:38,891 --> 00:10:41,025
It's called, you know, renewal.
197
00:10:41,026 --> 00:10:43,528
She played an amazing game
of mah-jongg.
198
00:10:44,096 --> 00:10:45,864
- Mah-jongg is a very important...
- Hey, Dad.
199
00:10:45,865 --> 00:10:49,634
- Oh, hi. How are you? This is Pearl.
- Hi.
200
00:10:49,635 --> 00:10:52,604
- Are you working here?
- Yeah. Honey gave me a job.
201
00:10:52,605 --> 00:10:53,905
You're a whore?
202
00:10:53,906 --> 00:10:58,276
She's been doing real well. She had, like,
you know, six guys before lunchtime.
203
00:10:58,277 --> 00:11:00,245
- Yeah.
- What? Can I be frank?
204
00:11:00,246 --> 00:11:05,183
I feel slightly uncomfortable
with the whore part of it all.
205
00:11:05,184 --> 00:11:06,384
- Just...
- Why?
206
00:11:06,385 --> 00:11:11,122
Well, as my newly found step-daughter,
I...
207
00:11:11,123 --> 00:11:13,057
Wait, hold on a minute.
Hold on a minute.
208
00:11:13,058 --> 00:11:15,860
So you think it's okay for me
to do what I do,
209
00:11:15,861 --> 00:11:17,695
but you don't think it's okay for her?
210
00:11:17,696 --> 00:11:19,364
She's just so young...
211
00:11:19,899 --> 00:11:22,734
- I mean younger. Younger.
- Oh, excuse me for a second.
212
00:11:22,735 --> 00:11:25,770
- Save it. Save it, Hoyle.
- No. No, I'm glad you're a whore.
213
00:11:25,771 --> 00:11:29,107
- I'll see you though at 3?
- Nope.
214
00:11:29,108 --> 00:11:30,642
But I... Nope.
215
00:11:30,643 --> 00:11:32,778
- My deposit.
- Nope.
216
00:11:33,078 --> 00:11:37,882
Oh, God. This has been a heck of a day.
It's just...
217
00:11:37,883 --> 00:11:40,919
You know, learning that my wife
was a criminal,
218
00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:44,055
and now my daughter a whore.
219
00:11:44,056 --> 00:11:46,658
- It's just... It's a lot.
- You know what I like to do?
220
00:11:46,659 --> 00:11:49,794
- What's that?
- I like to drink my problems away.
221
00:11:49,795 --> 00:11:53,064
- That's...
- Let me buy you a drink, or two.
222
00:11:53,065 --> 00:11:55,733
- Okay.
- Or three, just because it's a special day.
223
00:11:55,734 --> 00:11:57,835
- Sure. Sure, let's have one.
- I'll be back. Yeah.
224
00:11:57,836 --> 00:11:59,003
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
225
00:11:59,004 --> 00:12:00,672
All right, that's a cute glass.
226
00:12:00,673 --> 00:12:03,175
It's getting hot out here, isn't it?
227
00:12:06,011 --> 00:12:08,413
That's way too much.
228
00:12:08,847 --> 00:12:10,782
Thank you!
229
00:12:12,885 --> 00:12:14,886
Did I get it?
230
00:12:16,622 --> 00:12:20,124
Give this guy a gin and...
231
00:12:20,125 --> 00:12:22,160
- Cheers.
- And a cheers.
232
00:12:22,161 --> 00:12:25,029
- Thanks for the...
- What?
233
00:12:25,030 --> 00:12:26,998
- Oh, that's awful.
- Baby, baby...
234
00:12:26,999 --> 00:12:30,735
Hey, Hoyle!
Let's kick this party up a notch!
235
00:12:30,736 --> 00:12:32,170
Two black iron wines!
236
00:12:32,171 --> 00:12:35,907
Row! Row! Row!
237
00:12:35,908 --> 00:12:37,709
I'm so happy!
238
00:12:37,710 --> 00:12:39,944
- I'm gonna get you another bottle.
- Okay!
239
00:12:39,945 --> 00:12:41,946
He's gonna go get another bottle.
240
00:12:41,947 --> 00:12:43,582
What are you guys doing?
241
00:13:09,875 --> 00:13:13,077
- Sheriff.
- I don't feel good.
242
00:13:13,078 --> 00:13:14,746
I drank a lot.
243
00:13:14,747 --> 00:13:16,981
It seems that you are beset
with the evils
244
00:13:16,982 --> 00:13:19,917
of a morning after a night filled
with alcohol.
245
00:13:19,918 --> 00:13:22,720
But I am something of a medicine man
in this realm.
246
00:13:22,721 --> 00:13:26,024
Ready? Don't move, don't say anything,
just stay right there.
247
00:13:26,025 --> 00:13:29,160
Eat the pickled eye of a sheep.
Just quickly. Just shove that down.
248
00:13:29,161 --> 00:13:31,829
Have another one. This one's hairy.
249
00:13:31,830 --> 00:13:34,665
Okay, good.
Now lick the sweat off my arm.
250
00:13:34,666 --> 00:13:37,101
Easy does it. Easy does it.
251
00:13:37,102 --> 00:13:39,237
Swallow it down, swallow it down.
252
00:13:40,072 --> 00:13:42,107
You're feeling the healing!
253
00:13:42,941 --> 00:13:44,809
A purge of the stomach
was all you needed.
254
00:13:44,810 --> 00:13:49,247
I don't need an eyeball
to make me throw up.
255
00:13:54,887 --> 00:13:56,054
Where's Frank James?
256
00:13:56,055 --> 00:13:59,824
Sheriff, if that didn't cure
your hangover, this will.
257
00:13:59,825 --> 00:14:05,697
A U.S. marshal came in this morning,
and took Frank James onward to justice.
258
00:14:05,931 --> 00:14:09,100
- A federal marshal came this morning?
- This morning.
259
00:14:09,101 --> 00:14:11,602
- How did he ride...?
- Twelve hours.
260
00:14:11,603 --> 00:14:14,272
From Kansas City to here in 12 hours?
261
00:14:14,273 --> 00:14:17,341
I mean, that is the kind of horses
that our government buys.
262
00:14:17,342 --> 00:14:20,044
- Did he give you any money?
- Of course he gave me the money.
263
00:14:20,045 --> 00:14:24,316
- Let me see it.
- Five thousand dollars.
264
00:14:28,087 --> 00:14:30,855
- Don't...
- It's Confederate money!
265
00:14:30,856 --> 00:14:33,558
You idiot!
266
00:14:34,726 --> 00:14:36,094
The war is over.
267
00:14:36,095 --> 00:14:40,665
It's worth point-zero-zero-zero-seven
cents on the dollar.
268
00:14:40,666 --> 00:14:42,600
You've been bamboozled.
269
00:14:42,601 --> 00:14:45,736
I should've been here. I was drinking.
270
00:14:45,737 --> 00:14:50,475
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
I was drinking.
271
00:14:50,909 --> 00:14:53,445
We're gonna go pay a visit to Pearl Star.
272
00:14:55,780 --> 00:14:58,549
- Pearl Star.
- Aah! What are you doing?
273
00:14:58,550 --> 00:15:00,451
Excuse me. Pardon the interruption.
274
00:15:00,452 --> 00:15:01,652
Hey, Ebenezer.
275
00:15:01,653 --> 00:15:03,654
I'm in the middle
of a business transaction.
276
00:15:03,655 --> 00:15:07,825
Would you mind? Just stop transacting
with my daughter. Thank you.
277
00:15:07,826 --> 00:15:09,793
- You know him?
- He's deaf and mute.
278
00:15:09,794 --> 00:15:11,629
Oh.
279
00:15:11,630 --> 00:15:14,332
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Aren't you forgetting something?
280
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:18,402
- He only had, like, five minutes.
- Well, that's all right. Don't...
281
00:15:18,403 --> 00:15:21,205
They don't like to be kissed.
Get the hell out of here.
282
00:15:21,206 --> 00:15:22,506
What do you guys want?
283
00:15:22,507 --> 00:15:25,676
I thought you were innocent.
I did. I trusted you!
284
00:15:25,677 --> 00:15:28,212
I thought you'd go straight
and be a whore.
285
00:15:28,213 --> 00:15:30,781
Look, I'm trying
to make a good life for myself.
286
00:15:30,782 --> 00:15:32,483
I don't understand what I did to you.
287
00:15:32,484 --> 00:15:36,120
Does making a good life
mean getting your daddy so drunk
288
00:15:36,121 --> 00:15:38,522
he doesn't know his anus
from his mouth
289
00:15:38,523 --> 00:15:42,259
to get your no-good boyfriend
broken out of jail?
290
00:15:42,260 --> 00:15:46,597
Because you knew my stupid-ass deputy
would fall for the trap. And he did.
291
00:15:46,598 --> 00:15:48,465
I know this isn't just you,
292
00:15:48,466 --> 00:15:51,802
and I know your boyfriend, Frank James,
didn't pull this off.
293
00:15:51,803 --> 00:15:53,737
I wanna know who's behind this.
294
00:15:53,738 --> 00:15:55,773
Or I swear to God,
I'm gonna throw the book at you.
295
00:15:55,774 --> 00:15:59,543
No, I'm sorry, I can't.
I can't tell you. I'm not a snitch.
296
00:15:59,544 --> 00:16:04,548
God! This is what having a daughter
is all about!
297
00:16:04,549 --> 00:16:07,118
You're so frustrating!
298
00:16:08,386 --> 00:16:10,554
- Just tell him who it is.
- I didn't do it, okay?
299
00:16:10,555 --> 00:16:14,191
I didn't know they were gonna do that.
300
00:16:14,192 --> 00:16:16,627
- This is your picture.
- Yeah.
301
00:16:16,628 --> 00:16:17,795
Of Myra.
302
00:16:17,796 --> 00:16:19,764
- Belle.
- Yeah.
303
00:16:21,866 --> 00:16:26,837
Deputy, I want you to arrest Miss Star
and take her down to the jail.
304
00:16:27,605 --> 00:16:29,873
I'm going to the bank.
305
00:16:29,874 --> 00:16:32,376
Got a deposit to make.
306
00:16:33,478 --> 00:16:36,280
- John Henry Hoyle!
- How are you, Xavier?
307
00:16:36,281 --> 00:16:39,116
Not bad. How are you?
You look a little peaked.
308
00:16:39,117 --> 00:16:41,218
- Can I get you hair of the dog?
- Well...
309
00:16:41,219 --> 00:16:44,288
I'm sorry, Xavier, you're under arrest.
310
00:16:45,623 --> 00:16:50,895
Arrest for, uh, being too pleasant
about town?
311
00:16:51,529 --> 00:16:57,434
Bank robbery, fraud,
and aiding and abetting a jail break.
312
00:16:57,435 --> 00:17:00,704
Well, that is a laundry list,
is it not, Mr. Hoyle?
313
00:17:00,705 --> 00:17:02,172
Yes, it is.
314
00:17:02,173 --> 00:17:03,340
Further, it's my contention
315
00:17:03,341 --> 00:17:05,576
that you've been traveling
across the plains,
316
00:17:05,577 --> 00:17:08,679
opening up banks, staging a robbery,
317
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:13,250
taking the money from the local
residents, moving on to the next town.
318
00:17:13,251 --> 00:17:16,754
Well, you know what?
You'll have to present some evidence.
319
00:17:16,755 --> 00:17:19,723
You grew up not far from here
in the Ozarks, didn't you?
320
00:17:19,724 --> 00:17:22,659
- With a woman named Belle Star.
- Belle Star.
321
00:17:22,660 --> 00:17:26,396
Who also happened to be Myra Hoyle.
322
00:17:26,397 --> 00:17:29,733
She introduced you to the Jameses,
no doubt.
323
00:17:29,734 --> 00:17:34,104
I didn't realize it fully,
until I saw Pearl's photo.
324
00:17:34,105 --> 00:17:36,740
They're absolutely identical,
except for one thing.
325
00:17:36,741 --> 00:17:39,877
The bottom half of my photo
was ripped away years ago.
326
00:17:39,878 --> 00:17:44,214
- How unfortunate.
- I was able to see Myra's hand.
327
00:17:44,215 --> 00:17:46,750
- Can you see what's on her finger?
- A ring.
328
00:17:46,751 --> 00:17:51,522
It's a signet ring. I knew that ring.
It had a notch in it.
329
00:17:51,523 --> 00:17:56,393
A notch that only your ring had.
A notch that is on that ring.
330
00:17:56,394 --> 00:18:00,364
That is some clever sleuthing,
Detective Hoyle.
331
00:18:00,365 --> 00:18:02,499
The biggest pistachio sticking
in my throat
332
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:05,869
is that you were romantically involved
with my wife.
333
00:18:05,870 --> 00:18:08,272
Ha-ha-ha. Oh, that's just...
334
00:18:08,273 --> 00:18:10,841
You seriously don't know, don't get it.
335
00:18:11,276 --> 00:18:13,410
- What?
- Oh!
336
00:18:13,411 --> 00:18:16,213
Belle Star was my beard.
337
00:18:16,214 --> 00:18:18,482
- You familiar with the term?
- No.
338
00:18:18,483 --> 00:18:20,450
I'm a play-bottoms.
339
00:18:20,451 --> 00:18:23,654
- A feather duster?
- Yes, I play backgammon.
340
00:18:23,655 --> 00:18:27,691
I like spooning with a man.
I like doing much more.
341
00:18:27,692 --> 00:18:30,794
I'm sorry, Xavier, but you're gonna
have to come with me.
342
00:18:30,795 --> 00:18:32,162
I hate to do it.
343
00:18:32,163 --> 00:18:35,599
I hate to put a Harvard man behind bars,
but that's where you belong.
344
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:40,171
Well, this is a disappointment. I guess
there's nothing for me to do, but...
345
00:18:47,245 --> 00:18:48,412
Did I get you?
346
00:18:48,413 --> 00:18:50,614
- No, you did not, Xavier.
- Damn it.
347
00:18:50,615 --> 00:18:53,817
Obviously, you should've spent
more time at the gun club.
348
00:18:53,818 --> 00:18:56,320
I've been taking classes!
349
00:18:57,455 --> 00:19:00,891
- Xavier, you gotta come with me.
- I don't want to!
350
00:19:00,892 --> 00:19:04,394
- We can't go on like this all night.
- Oh, I can.
351
00:19:04,395 --> 00:19:06,964
I can do it all night long.
352
00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:11,869
- Damn it!
- God bless it!
353
00:19:11,870 --> 00:19:15,439
Mine's jammed, it's not...
Slow down! Wait for me!
354
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,708
No, I will not. I am going to kill you.
355
00:19:17,709 --> 00:19:20,143
- I'm almost there.
- Oh, well, are you?
356
00:19:20,144 --> 00:19:22,512
- It's just my fingers are sweaty.
- Come on, baby.
357
00:19:22,513 --> 00:19:25,282
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
358
00:19:32,624 --> 00:19:34,791
Right in the pooch. Oh!
359
00:19:34,792 --> 00:19:37,527
Right in my front part.
360
00:19:37,528 --> 00:19:40,864
I didn't want it to end like this.
I just wanted to incarcerate you.
361
00:19:40,865 --> 00:19:42,900
Not die.
362
00:19:43,434 --> 00:19:47,137
Would you do me one last favor?
363
00:19:47,138 --> 00:19:48,906
Yes, of course. What is it?
364
00:19:50,541 --> 00:19:52,843
Kiss me.
365
00:19:54,545 --> 00:19:55,712
It's a dying man's wish.
366
00:19:55,713 --> 00:19:58,615
- You gotta give a dying man his wish.
- Come on.
367
00:19:58,616 --> 00:20:00,851
Okay.
368
00:20:01,586 --> 00:20:03,820
- Lay it on me. Don't be...
- I'm doing it.
369
00:20:03,821 --> 00:20:06,223
- Don't do it like halfway.
- Okay.
370
00:20:06,224 --> 00:20:07,824
It won't do anything for me.
371
00:20:07,825 --> 00:20:10,360
- If you're gonna do it, do it.
- Just kiss him.
372
00:20:10,361 --> 00:20:12,296
Everybody just back off,
because I'm gonna do it.
373
00:20:12,297 --> 00:20:14,431
- Don't look at me like that.
- I'm looking at your lips.
374
00:20:14,432 --> 00:20:16,934
I'm guiding my way in.
375
00:20:32,884 --> 00:20:35,186
Xavier?
376
00:20:36,354 --> 00:20:40,357
You, uh, got really into that at the end.
377
00:20:40,591 --> 00:20:42,326
- What?
- Just the whole kiss.
378
00:20:42,327 --> 00:20:44,461
I mean, is there something
you wanna tell me?
379
00:20:44,462 --> 00:20:46,596
- No!
- I'm just... If there is, it's fine.
380
00:20:46,597 --> 00:20:48,598
I'm fine
with whatever you wanna tell me.
381
00:20:48,599 --> 00:20:51,868
- You told me to do it.
- Yeah, but your leg was vibrating a little.
382
00:20:51,869 --> 00:20:54,771
Nip it. Nip it in the bud.
Let's go get the undertaker.
383
00:20:54,772 --> 00:20:56,807
"The countless murdered and robbed
384
00:20:56,808 --> 00:20:59,810
have only Sheriff John Henry Hoyle
to thank
385
00:20:59,811 --> 00:21:04,848
for releasing the scourge onto the earth
as a result of his own idiocy."
386
00:21:04,849 --> 00:21:07,117
- Thank you, Eli. Appreciate that.
- Well, look...
387
00:21:07,118 --> 00:21:10,187
You did take down the head of the gang,
and to be fair,
388
00:21:10,188 --> 00:21:12,622
you did sort of let Frank James
get away.
389
00:21:12,623 --> 00:21:16,360
- What?
- Well, I mean, it was on your watch.
390
00:21:16,361 --> 00:21:20,564
This is great. Men do the crime
and the woman gets to pay for it.
391
00:21:20,565 --> 00:21:22,566
All right, I will be honest with you.
392
00:21:22,567 --> 00:21:24,701
There is not a lot of evidence
against you.
393
00:21:24,702 --> 00:21:26,503
And most of it is circumstantial.
394
00:21:26,504 --> 00:21:28,238
And if you get a decent lawyer,
395
00:21:28,239 --> 00:21:30,874
you will be out of jail
in probably about six months,
396
00:21:30,875 --> 00:21:33,978
as long as you can hit those rocks
real good.
397
00:21:34,512 --> 00:21:38,816
It's too bad I don't have any money
to get myself a really good lawyer.
398
00:21:40,151 --> 00:21:45,956
Well, I suppose as your kin, I should
probably help you out a little bit with that.
399
00:21:46,858 --> 00:21:49,393
Let me take care of the lawyer for you.
400
00:21:49,394 --> 00:21:53,730
And, you know what,
why don't you go ahead and take that,
401
00:21:53,731 --> 00:21:55,499
and get yourself something nice
for prison.
402
00:21:55,500 --> 00:21:57,734
- Thank you, Daddy.
- Oh, you're welcome.
403
00:21:57,735 --> 00:22:00,137
- You're the best.
- Good luck in there, you know?
404
00:22:00,138 --> 00:22:02,205
- I know it's gonna be so nice of you to...
- So nice.
405
00:22:02,206 --> 00:22:03,473
Hey! What are you doing?
406
00:22:03,474 --> 00:22:05,876
Get away from that!
Were you pulling my gun?
407
00:22:05,877 --> 00:22:08,879
Is that what you were doing?
Blow your only kin away?
408
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:12,215
I'm getting used to this whole
father thing. I apologize!
409
00:22:12,216 --> 00:22:15,385
Well, trust has to begin somewhere,
daughter!
410
00:22:15,386 --> 00:22:18,388
Well, it's not by this!
You're pointing your gun at me!
411
00:22:18,389 --> 00:22:20,457
All right, you're right.
I'm gonna give you my gun.
412
00:22:20,458 --> 00:22:22,859
- All right.
- And I'm gonna trust you.
413
00:22:22,860 --> 00:22:24,861
This is the first stage in trust.
414
00:22:24,862 --> 00:22:28,332
- Okay.
- I'm giving it to you.
415
00:22:28,466 --> 00:22:30,634
Are you my daughter,
416
00:22:30,868 --> 00:22:33,003
or are you an outlaw?
417
00:22:36,174 --> 00:22:37,975
- Can I...?
- Give it back.
418
00:22:38,025 --> 00:22:42,575
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