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Bye.

Busy?

Absolutely.
Boning up on the law.

Ah.

I have a job for you.

Operation Grab It Back.

Nabbing back stolen cars, yes.

Wasn´t that your idea?

Originally.

The chief constable thinks it´s
a bit too operational for me,

so Detective Superintendent
Chalmers is running it.

Mm.

Aren´t those two, um --

In the orienteering team
together.

Yes. That´s right.
Orienteering.

They share a map.

They´re taking on the Army
next week on Salisbury Plain.

The chief wants me to have a --
have an oversight sort of role.

So, if Operation Grab It Back
is a success,

uh, the chief´s chum Chalmers
gets the praise.

And if it´s a failure,
you get the blame.

Oversight.

Yeah.

Come on, now.
Come on.

Come on, now.
Now, now, now, come here.

Come here!

Oh, are you worth it?!

I could roast you and have you
for my dinner, you know?

Get in here! Ugh!

Mrs. Crabbe?

Yes.

Ms. Forelle, EHO.

Sorry

Environmental Health Officer.
I´m a food inspector.

I´ve come to inspect
the restaurant.

Oh.

Good to meet you.

You´ve just been
handling livestock.

Oh, yes! Sorry.
Silly me.

Coffee?

Eh, no, thank you.

Your job today is simple.
Recovering ringers.

Analysis of vehicle
registrations

has identified cars in this area
which are stolen

and re-registered
under another number.

Sergeant Rowlatt
is handing out lists.

You will go to the addresses
on the lists.

You will take possession
of the vehicles

and issue an official receipt.

I don´t envisage any arrests
at this stage,

unless, of course,
someone resists you

in the execution of your duty.

Any questions?

Do we know who stole them?

The purpose of this exercise
is to recover property.

Later we will establish
who stole them and how.

Any others?

Okay.

What do they say
on such occasions?

Let´s be careful out there.

She is human after all.

I´ll ride with you.

Right.

Do you wear headgear
when you´re working?

Um...

Oh, I don´t cook.

And Mrs. Crabbe?

Sorry.

May I see your hands?

Oh!

I don´t touch food either.
I´m strictly front-of-house.

But you do
come into the kitchen.

You offered to make me coffee.

Inky fingers.

Thank you.

Now, stock control.

Show me
how you rotate your stock.

Well, Mr. Crabbe
deals with all that.

But he´s not here.
You show me.

This is a stolen car?

It´s on the list.

Dear God.

Mr. Edwards?

-Morning.

My name is
Detective Inspector Crabbe

of Barstock C.I.D.

Thank you. I´d like to
talk to you about your car.

Apparently, it´s been nicked.

Nonsense. Our car?

Well, it was stolen, you see,
before you bought it.

And we have to take possession.

Now?

Does that mean
we can´t go on holiday in it?

I´m afraid so, yes.

What about the caravan?

We have no instructions
about the caravan.

Mm.

It wasn´t a pair, I presume?

I told you
we should´ve left before 9:00!

We were going to Seaton.

It looks like rain.

My husband spares no expense
in the kitchen.

Everything´s new since we came.

-New flooring.

About an hour ago.

New splash backs,
stainless-steel worktops.

What do you use to wash it?

It´s bleach diluted three to one
with water.

Standing instructions
on the wall.

And these are
your cutting boards?

Yeah.
They´re all color-coded.

Red for meat.
Green for salad.

They don´t look used.

Uh, well, Mr. Crabbe
replaces them regularly.

What do you think?

No problem.
We´ll pass with flying colors.

What´s this?

Sorry?

It´s a mistake.

It´s a trap for dirty food.

Clean it.

Toilets.

Oh, cheer up, sir.

It can only get better.

Well, just one more.

I´m sure you did pay
good money for it, Mr. Melchett,

but it´s not yours.

I´ve got the logbook!

Yeah, it proves nothing,
apparently.

What are you,
judge and jury now?

I´m just doing my job,
Mr. Melchett.

Same as I´m sure you do yours.
Which is?

I´m a builder.

Right.

It´s a nice car.

For a builder, you mean.

You people.

I work hard
for everything I have.

-No.

You like doing this.

Just get him a receipt,
would you, Cambridge?

Fascist.

-Now, listen --
-Ooh!

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ugh!

Animal!

-Oh, look --
-Don´t hit me again.

-Don´t hit me!
-Oh, get up, you fool!

I´ve seen coppers like you
on the TV.

Nazi.

My only crime was to buy a car.

What´s going on?

Not content
with nicking my legal car,

which I personally own,
he assaulted me!

You saw.

I didn´t see a thing, sir.

Typical.

Coppers stick together.

Did you hit him, Crabbe?

Would you just leave this to me,
please, Superintendent?

You ever been in trouble before,
Melchett?

I´m not in trouble now.

No. Well, let´s keep it
that way, shall we?

Now, who would want to steal
that and that?

Two different thieves, maybe.

Precisely.

Snipe! You berk!

I´ve had the coppers ´round
after that car you sold me.

Oh?
What did they want?

A ride in it!
What do you think they wanted?

-Took it away.
-Oh.

Yes. "Oh."

I was lucky not to be nicked.

There´s our man, you see.

"David Arthur Melchett.

14th of July, 1950."

"Receiving
stolen goods, six months.

Pecuniary advantage
by deception, a year."

And then nothing
for seven years.

This is different, you know,
Cambridge.

I mean, this isn´t a frazzled
dad with some ancient Citroën.

A pensioner in a Metro.

No.

No, this is an old lag

who´s just swapped
a clapped-out Ford Sierra

for a mint condition,
top-of-the-range Mercedes.

He´s gonna have to tell us
where he got that car.

Hm. Now?

No. Tomorrow.

Hello.
Running late?

Boss, don´t get settled.

Eh?

Don´t stand there.

Visitor.

Do you work here?

Sort of.

This is Mr. Crabbe.

No earrings, body piercings?
Nothing like that?

Um, well, funnily enough --

Miss Forelle
is a food inspector.

-Ms.
-Oh.

Show me your hands.

M-Ms. Forelle is very concerned
about personal hygiene.

The department is.

How do you do?

Fluffy jumpers won´t do
in a kitchen.

It´s a waistcoat, actually.

I-I´m sorry.

I´ve just come in
from a very hard day´s work.

This is
a food-preparation zone.

Is it?

Show me your drains.

Here you are.
This way.

How long has she been here?

Hours.

Oh, no.

I´ve had enough of bossy women
for one day, actually.

Uh, no, you haven´t.

You go upstairs, and Gary and I
will deal with Ms. Forelle.

Bye.

Boris.
How nice to see you.

-You are a lying scum.

We have an exclusive contract.

And you´ve been doing a bit
of a private enterprise.

-Well, you will be.

It -- It wasn´t me.
It was Kemp.

Kemp?
Who is Kemp?

The boy who nicks the cars.

Where does he live?

3, The Railway Cuttings.

Please don´t hit me again.
Please.

Brought my car back?

Not quite.

Let´s go inside, shall we?

Mmm.

We want to talk to you.

Yeah. Talk.

You´ve got a record.

That was years ago.

What is this?

I was the one
who bought the car.

It´s me that´s lost money.

Who sold you the car?

You know.

Crabbe took the receipt.

That´s a work of fiction,
Melchett.

The car
bearing that registration

went into the crusher
six months ago.

Maybe the scrap dealer
salvaged it.

No, he didn´t.

D.I. Crabbe found you in
possession of a stolen vehicle.

Now I discover you have a record

for offenses
involving dishonesty.

You´re in
a very vulnerable position.

D.I. Crabbe will undoubtedly
pay you a visit tomorrow.

Mm, he´ll have you sent
to prison...again.

Give me the man
who sold you the car.

You´ll keep me out of it?

You could give yourself an edge.

How?

You were complaining earlier
that Crabbe assaulted you.

You could consider making that
a formal complaint.

That would get me off the hook?

Tell me where the car came from.

All right, all right.

Aah! Aah!

Oh, dear.

Did we do that?

No.

You did that.

Grab that.

You realize
it´s already been searched, sir.

Not by me, it hasn´t.

Well, what are you looking for?

Oh, you know.

Business cards, receipts.

A credit-card voucher for petrol
would be lovely.

Get rid of that matting,
will you?

Thanks.

Nothing.

Ah.

Bingo.

"Ace Car Care, Electrical
Supplier, and Technicians."

Pity there´s
no customer´s address on it.

Yeah.

So, what were you going to say
when you came over?

Oh, I thought
you´d want to know.

Melchett´s made
a formal complaint.

He says you assaulted him when
we took possession of his car.

Well, that´s tosh.
I mean, you know that.

Well, I didn´t actually see
the incident, sir.

-Oh.
-Sorry.

Well, Superintendent Chalmers
was there.

She must have seen everything.

Yes.

Oh. Wonderful.

It says here you beat him up,
Crabbe.

Contusions on his chest.

Bruising on his buttocks.

I suppose
that must have happened

when you knocked him down, eh?

Superintendent Chalmers
suggested I suspend you.

What did you say?

No.

She´s made an arrest, you know.

Yes, another poor sap.

Anthony Kemp, 22, unemployed,
known to us.

Plenty of form for car thefts.

She thinks
she´s nipped it in the bud.

Hm.

Not impressed?

Well, Chalmers´ mind works
in two dimensions, you see.

Car crime, car criminal.

"Bingo.
Let´s call it a result."

What do you call it?

Bit underwhelming.

I mean,
this Operation Grab It Back

has been very interesting, sir.

We´ve had a couple
of really high-quality cars

in the middle
of all of these bangers.

So?

Well, stealing, ringing,

and then selling
a Jaguar or a Mercedes

is a very different proposition

from knocking out
a 3-year-old Metro.

Have you got a lead, Crabbe?

Well, Chalmers
doesn´t know about it.

What are you suggesting?

I think I can put you
on the inside track, sir.

That is,
if there is such a thing

as an inside track
in orienteering.

I´ll ask the chief...

once we´ve made an arrest.

Hang on.

Hang on!

Oh, Miss Forelle.
We´re -- We´re not open yet.

The Environmental
Health Department

can call at any time,
Mrs. Crabbe.

Do I get the impression

that you´re taking
a special interest in us?

Do you mean am I picking on you?

Uh, I mean, maybe we got off
on the wrong foot.

And if there´s anything
I could do to correct that --

Mrs. Crabbe, strictly speaking,

I could simply send you
a summons

for any contraventions
of the Food Act.

Instead, I´ve come to see
if you´ve made the improvements

I suggested on my last visit.

Thanks.

What I want to see
is a clean, well-run kitchen.

Oh, bloody hell!

Margaret...

Morning, Mr., uh?

-Snipe.
-Snipe.

Hello. Henry Crabbe, Detective
Inspector, Barstock C.I.D.

Um, I wanted to talk to you
about this.

Now, is this your receipt
for cash paid against work done?

-That´s right.
-Very good.

See, we found this
in a stolen car, a Mercedes,

and I wanted to have it
returned to its rightful owner.

And I wonder
if you could you help me.

-I can look in my files.
-Thank you.

Should be straightforward
enough.

Bit of a headache?

Huh?

No, no, no, no.
I, uh, walked into a door.

Oh, dear.
Some door, eh?

Mm.

Oh.
Here we are.

It´s, uh, Mr. Russell,
Pound Lane.

Great.
Uh, can I borrow a pen?

-Yeah.
-Thanks.

Have a sandwich, Mr. Kemp.

No, thanks.

It´ll be the last decent food
you´ll eat for a while.

I wouldn´t give a dog what
they feed you in the chokey.

I´m not going in the chokey.

Well, Superintendent Chalmers
seems to think so.

If only criminals believed they
were definitely going to prison,

there would be no crimes.

Is that right?

Ah.

If only logic ruled, eh?

I´ll get community service.

No, you won´t.

Now, let me get this straight.

You´ve admitted that you pinched

a Mercedes-Benz,
registration number PR246,

and sold it to Mr. Melchett?

It´s in my statement.

Yeah. And you´ve never done it
before or since, you said?

I was just wondering, you know,

what these boys who blacked your
eyes are going to feel about you

when I nick them.

I don´t know
what you´re talking about.

Imagine, eating all that
prison food through a straw.

I won´t be eating prison food.

Yes, you will.

You and Snipe, both of you.

I don´t know any Snipe.

You see, now,
that was the wrong answer

because Snipe said
he got his black eye

from walking into a door.

I said,
"I don´t know any Snipe."

Have a sandwich while you can.

Ah, Mr. Fisher.

I´ve been looking at
our numbers.

I don´t think we need
a replacement for Crabbe.

Don´t you?

Well, the worst of
Operation Grab It Back is over,

and I don´t want to draw
other officers´ attention

to Crabbe´s departure.

Crabbe isn´t departing.

Isn´t?

No.

What about the complaint?

Melchett´s bruises?

Love bites, according
to the police surgeon.

The complaint was spurious.

Crabbe stays.

Crabbe.

That´s my prisoner.

Oh, I´m sorry.
I didn´t know they had owners.

Don´t be insubordinate.

What were you doing in there?

Offering him a sandwich.

Good God, man.

You´ve fed him.

I can´t help it.
I get these urges.

But it´s not your job.

It all has to be written down
in the custody record.

I hope that handkerchief
is hygienic.

It should be.

Don´t go back in there.

I´ve a special duty for you.

You been on the job long?

Six months, sir.

Do you like it?

Oh, yeah.
I love it, sir.

You arrested anyone yet?

No, not yet, sir.

But you´re always looking out,
eh?

-Yeah.
-Good for you.

Listen, I want you to take
these leaflets,

stand at the foot of those steps
over there,

and give them out to the people.

And I want you to ask them if
they´re sure their car is locked

and all their valuables are
safely hidden away, all right?

All right.
And you´ll be stood here?

No, no, no.

I´ll be over there
making phone calls.

Um, if -- if anyone comes over
to the unit, sir?

Uh, yeah, right,
well, if they come over,

you stop giving out the
leaflets, you come over here,

and you deal with the inquiry
yourself.

-Yeah.

Good.

Good morning. Could I speak
to Mr. Russell, please?

Oh, is that Mrs. Russell?

Hello, I´m a police officer.

My name is
Detective Inspector Crabbe.

Um...

I wanted to talk to your husband
about his motorcar.

Yes, I understand
his Mercedes-Benz was stolen.

Oi!

Can I call you back?

You, son, are nicked.

Thank you.

What are those for?

I valet the cars.

You what?

People leave me
a spare set of keys,

and while they´re at work,
I valet their cars.

"Hobson´s, clean while you work.

We at Hobson´s strain it
while you train it."

Well, you´re not much
of a copywriter, are you?

Well, I was in engineering
before the economic upturn.

Then I got laid off.

Sorry.

How long you been valeting
´round here?

Six months.

Yeah --
All right, Constable.

Anyone else do it?

No.

There´s a guy
who does the servicing.

Ever come across these people?

Ace Car Care, Electricals?

Yeah.
I´ve seen them here before.

Yeah. And?

It´s just that someone else
was asking about them recently.

Who?

I don´t know.

Foreigners.

What flavor foreigners?

I´m no expert, but I´d say
they sounded like Russians.

Oh, hello.

Anybody asks, I´m having
a lunch break, all right?

Oh, right.
Who´s that?

That´s Mr. Russell.

I´m hoping
he´s the owner of that car.

-Ah.

Yeah, one or two.

-BMW. Range Rover.
-Good.

Would you ask them
if any of them

had any work done
by Ace Car Care, Electricals?

I say, this is mine.

Look, I did this
in the supermarket car park.

Well, I´m glad to be able to
reunite you.

Thank you.

There you are, you see?
One car stolen and recovered.

The journey of a thousand miles
begins with a single step.

Ah.

Mm.

Hello, Gary.
Has my Welsh lamb arrived yet?

Yes, Chef.

Good.
Where is it?

In that fridge.

Well, get it out.

You can´t cook it
if it´s chilled rigid.

Ms. Forelle said we must keep
all meat in the fridge

except when we´re actually
cooking it.

Oh, did she?

So, how´s it supposed to
get prepared?

Chef, I´m not arguing with you.

I´m just passing on
what she said.

Where´s the spuds?

Ms. Forelle said
we´ve got to keep them

in the cold cupboard
till we need them.

She says they introduce soil
into the kitchen.

Oh, for crying out loud.

What are you doing now?

I´m rearranging the fridge
the way Ms. Forelle told us to.

Whose restaurant is this,
anywa--

Henry, Ms. Forelle has come back
to see how we´re getting on.

You´re wearing another
fluffy jumper, Mr. Crabbe.

Waistcoat.
I´ve just come in.

And I thought we´d agreed the
meat was going in the fridge.

These surfaces are solely
for food preparation.

Sorry.

This fridge is at 9.

9 what?

Degrees.

It should be 8 or lower.

It usually is.

I have to keep opening it
and closing it.

Get it serviced, Mr. Crabbe.

I´m sorry.

It´s not your fault.

Come on.

Henry, for heaven´s sake,
be nice to her.

Charm her.

I thought charm was your job.

Well, she´s not responding
to me.

-Be manly.

Well, flirt with her.

You can manage it
if you want to.

Flirt?
I´d rather charm a traffic cop.

Just get her out of the door

with a smile on her face,
please.

I´m sorry.

What temperature
do you keep eggs at?

We don´t.
They couldn´t be fresher.

We have hens out the back.

Your fridge must be 8 degrees
or lower by tomorrow night.

-I shall return to check.
-Right.

Um, we´re on the same side,
you know.

I think you´re in favor of good,
wholesome food, too, aren´t you?

Of course.

Well, let me prove to you,

let me show you
just how good these eggs are.

-Let me cook some for you.
-No, thank you.

Look, I´ll do you
la specialité de la maison,

coddled eggs.

I´ll even do some soldiers
just for you.

Half
Are you mad?

Mr. Crabbe, you have flowers
on your worktops,

meat left out of the fridge,

eggs coming straight from
hens´ bottoms into your dishes.

This restaurant has more
possible sources of infection

than anywhere I´ve visited
in -- in an age.

The regulations are clear.

You have until tomorrow evening
to conform.

If this kitchen isn´t perfect
when I come back,

I´m going to close you down.

I´d never thought of it
like that before.

How did it go?

-Worked a treat.
-I knew it.

You all right, sir?

Do us a favor.
Stand on the bumper, would you?

All right.

Oh, leave it, leave it,
leave it, leave it, leave it.

Leave it.

You want to go back
to your restaurant, sir.

Do I?

I hear you do
a wicked steak and kidney pie.

Oh, yeah.
Where did you hear that, then?

Canteen wireless, sir.
Gossip, sir.

Same as I heard

Detective Inspector Chalmers
and the chief constable --

Are in the orienteering team
together.

Yes, I know.

Morning, sir.

Carry on, Constable.

Yes, sir.

Message from Cambridge.

All the stolen quality cars
she could trace

had work done
at Ace Car Care, Electricals.

Oh, good.

-Sir.
-Not now, Constable.

I thought you and I
might deal with this together.

And Chalmers?

I left a note on her desk.

Underneath all the paperwork?

Sir.
Is that --

That´s my car!

Why didn´t you say something?!

I tried, sir.

You could have grabbed him.

Well, I thought
he might be valeting the car.

You thought what?!

Or fitting an alarm.

Give me your cuffs, Cobbett.

-Thank you.

Now get onto the radio

and tell them Mr. Fisher´s car
has been stolen.

Now what?

Now we need transport, sir.

Ma´am, that was quick.

What?

The stolen car.

Which stolen car, Cobbett?

Mr. Fisher´s.

Someone stole Fisher´s car?

Where?

Here.

I´ve just reported it.

Fisher was here?

Where´s Crabbe?

Where´s your display unit?

Oh, oh, they took it.

Where?

Some car electrical place,
ma´am.

Which way?

That way.

Cobbett!

-Open the gate.

I haven´t got a coin.

I´ll see what I can do
to fix it, Ma´am.

Get in the car, Cobbett.

Yes, ma´am.

Now find me that display unit.

This should get me
on the orienteering team.

Here.
Get a cover on that.

Open this gate!

It´s the police!

Open this gate!

-Coming.
-Move it!

Come on!

Who do I have the pleasure
of addressing?

Assistant Chief Constable
Fisher.

Well, what can I sell you?

Nice stereo?

You worm.
That´s my car.

Don´t hit me.
I didn´t know it was his car.

You just keep him there.

Oh, dear.

What

I shall have to call
an ambulance.

What blood group are you?

See, your big mistake

was selling that Mercedes
to Melchett.

I imagine your employers
thought likewise, eh?

Right, Mr. Snipe.
Where shall we start?

-Oh, yes.

What do you reckon?
Um, Moscow?

They export cars
by the container load.

Uh, Porsches, Mercs,
Beemers.

Range Rovers?

I just fix alarms for them.

And then arrange to have them
nicked.

I think we´ve lost them.

No.
Give me that.

Oh, no, we haven´t.
Look!

Uh, it´s just down here,
and it´s just on the right.

Just two.

But they´re well hard.

Call for backup, Crabbe.

How?

I don´t know.
Find a phone box.

Even if we do phone in,

who´s gonna make sure
she´s the first one out here?

Chalmers.

Yeah.
There´s no alternative.

We´ll just have to go in
ourselves.

Ah.

Well, you better cuff him.

I think we´ll need those, sir,
for the Russians.

Snipe...
get in that car and stay there.

You, son, are nicked.

Well, you´re too late.
I´m already in custody.

Where´s Crabbe?

Down there.

Come on, you.

Aah!

You, son, are nicked.

There´s your collar, sir.

Thank you, Crabbe.

Can I go now?

That´ll do, Cobbett.
Thank you.

Thank you!

I´ll take this one into custody.

No, you won´t, Chalmers.

Chalmers!

So, what if I am?

Oh, you´re the one who came
´round and told Melchett

to make a complaint
against Mr. Crabbe.

-T-That´s enough from you.

And that´s enough from you.

Cobbett,
take him back to the car.

But --

I´m running Operation
Grab It Back from now on.

But what about me?

They´re short
of an administrator

on the cones hotline.

I think
it´s right up your alley.

May I go now, sir, please?

Would you stop opening
that fridge door?

Oh, sorry.

What´s the temperature now?

Uh, 4 degrees and falling.

Good.

Forelle.

-Yeah.

Mrs. Rowan, Food Inspector.

Ah.
Um...

I was expecting a Ms. Forelle.

Yes.
She´s off sick.

Oh, dear.

Yeah, apparently
she had two portions

of those chicken gobbets
they sell in the High Street.

Poor woman.

Oh!

Oh.
Lovely eggs.

We keep our own hens, you know.

Yes. The only way to ensure
quality of supply.

-Yeah.

Margaret, this is Mrs. Rowan.
She´s a food inspector.

Oh.

Oh, hello.
Where would you like to start?

Oh, no rush if you´re busy.

Oh.

It´s a lovely restaurant
you´ve got here, Mrs. Crabbe.

Thank you.

Oh.

Coddled eggs.

That´s my favorite.

And perhaps a small glass
of the house red?

Perfect.

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