All language subtitles for Pie.in.the.Sky.S03E01.Money.Talks.AMZN-Hi OFF

Subtitling made possible by
RLJ Entertainment

You know
everything they say about you,

Inspector Crabbe?

Always know your enemy.

Have some prosciutto.
Have some wine.

What is going on?

What are you playing at?

There´s a roomful of people
waiting to eat!

For once in your life,
do the sensible thing.

Walk away.

Dudley Hooperman, I´m arresting
you on suspicion of theft.

You have the right
to remain silent,

but anything you do say may be
taken down and used in evidence.

You´re a bit
of a disappointment, Crabbe.

Henry!

I just had a terrible dream.

Well, I´m not surprised, going
to sleep on the sofa like that.

It was the Hooperman dream
again,

but Steve and John were in it.

They were trying to shoot me.

Classic anxiety dream.

Why would Steve and John
want to shoot me?

Because they´ve left
the restaurant, Henry,

because they´ve moved on
to bigger and better things.

Rejected you, see?

Fired you.

Simple.

Come to bed.

All I´m saying is,
you should use a faster film.

You´ll get more depth of field.

And you want to use
a bigger lens, a 500.

You´ll get up much closer.

Why is it always your voice

that greets me as I climb
the stairs, Kerly?

Morning, Mac.
Morning, Cambridge.

Morning, sir.

I´m just saying, sir, vis-à-vis
the old technical equipment.

Kerly, on our budget, we´re
lucky to have a camera at all.

If Mr. Fisher had his way,
we´d be doing crayon drawings.

Anything happening?

Yeah. Three out front,
three on deliveries.

Oh, yes.

Tyson and Bates.

Don´t recognize the older one.

Dean Foster.
Started yesterday.

Currently on bail. Charged
with breaking and entering.

Hey, it´s him.

Digwell.

Creep got a new car.

Bet he didn´t get that
through selling crap pizza.

Digwell´s at it, sir.
You know it, and I know it.

Fisher.

Everything all right, sir?

Things a bit fraught
at the restaurant, actually.

Steve and John ought to be able
to look after everything by now,

surely.

It´s finally happened.

They´ve both left.

Steve´s got a job as
a sous chef at Le Grand Poisson.

John´s managing
a Peruvian coffee shop in Soho,

and right now, there´s
a temp chef from the agency

who´s doing God knows what
in my kitchen.

Look.

What?

I said the pies weren´t cooked
properly, didn´t I?

Did you, darling?

I must have missed it
in all the hurly-burly.

And you´re not supposed to smoke
in the kitchen.

Well, I´m not in the habit
of being bossed about

by a waitress.

Well, how about the habit of
producing food that´s edible?!

Look, darling, I´m a chef.

Warming up half a dozen
meat pies for some old gits

does not require a chef.

Did you get that
from behind the bar?

It´s for a special dessert
I´m making.

Yeah, well, you´ve drunk
half the bottle.

Well, I may as well finish it
off, then, hadn´t I?

Give it to me.

Bugger off.

I said, "Give it to me."

Now get out.

You´re telling me to get out?

Look.

This is stealing from my boss,
who happens to be a good bloke.

Now, if you don´t get out,
I´m gonna do something about it.

Hello.

Bit sparse in there, isn´t it?

Where´s Dermot?

Um...well, he´s gone.

Gone?

Well, um,
I slung him out, actually.

I see.

Oh, my God.

Table 5 are waiting for their
apple crumble and ice cream.

Can I help?

You get the ice cream
from the freezer.

I´ll sort out the crumble.

I´m sorry about Dermot,
Margaret.

Oh, don´t worry.
Henry will be delighted.

You know, "I told you so."

The ice cream´s in the freezer,
Margaret, not the fridge.

What?

The freezer.

Oh, Henry.

Chief Superintendent
Brian Smeddley.

Name ring a bell, Crabbe?

-Sir.
-It should.

Chief Superintendent Smeddley
is your area commander,

and he tells me
you´ve missed a budget meeting,

a strategy meeting,
and a management meeting

all in the last fortnight.

-I did try to contact him, sir.
-Oh, really?

But he couldn´t come
to the phone.

He was in a meeting.

You might have learnt something
from the budget meeting

in particular.

This pizza investigation.
It´s costing a fortune.

Oh, sir, it´s D.S. Cambridge,
two D.C.s,

and a jar of instant coffee.

I don´t see
how it could be done cheaper.

What´s it all about, anyway?

Lightning Pizza is owned
by Terence Digwell,

an old acquaintance of ours.

He´s got half a dozen lads
delivering pizzas on mopeds.

Pizzas on mopeds?

And they´ve all got form,
and we have reason to believe

that they´ve been mixing
their delivery duties

with a little breaking
and entering.

Anything they can nick,
Digwell gives them a price.

Let me bring you up to speed
on policy, Crabbe.

I´d appreciate that, sir.

Policy is this --
cut resources by 10%,

increase detection rate by 10%.

-Simple, isn´t it, sir?
-Yes.

So we have to have something
to show for all this resourcing.

A spotty Herbert with
a stolen VCR in his saddlebag

will not suffice, Crabbe.

-No, sir.
-I want that observation post

closed down
by the end of the week.

You have until then
to get a result.

Yes, sir.

Oh, Inspector.
Your messages.

Oh, thank you.

Smeddley, Smeddley, Smeddley.

Oh, wait, wait.

Who´s this one from?

"Have you heard
about Hooperman?"

Don´t know.
It´s not my writing.

Someone must have stuck it on
my desk while I wasn´t looking.

Mm.

Oh.
And your wife called.

Twice.

Hello, Henry.

Margaret, what´s going on?

Where is everybody?

Where´s Nicola?

Where´s Dermot?

Dermot went at lunchtime,
and I´ve sent Nicola home.

And the restaurant is closed
until further notice.

Sit down, Henry.

Margaret, what have you done?

The letters, Henry.

I´ve found the letters
from the bank.

They were in the fridge, Henry.

Stuffed behind
some leftover toad-in-the-hole.

Oh, that´s where they were.

Letters from the bank manager
asking to see us urgently.

Yes, well, I was very busy
at the time,

so I put them on one side,
you see.

You wrote a check
to the butcher´s for £420,

which took us
past our overdraft limit.

Marg, we were away
for the weekend,

and you know
I don´t like owing people money.

You don´t like
owing people money?!

Henry, we owe the bank £30,000!

That´s different.

See, they make
a zillion pounds profit.

And anyway that ferrety-faced
gangster of a bank manager

charges us 20 quid
just to pick up the phone,

and then he treats you like dirt
into the bargain.

Mr. Wimpole
is simply doing his job.

I can´t believe
I´m hearing this.

You´re taking the side
of the bank.

Henry, we are in a fix.

Now, we can´t just shove it
in the fridge

and hope it´ll go away,
because it won´t.

Now...here´s my plan of action.

We will go and see the bank
manager as soon as possible.

Both of us.

We will be frank with him, and
we will be realistic with him.

We need to restructure
our current loan repayments

and borrow some more
just to tide us over.

And, of course, he will want us

to take a serious look
at our costings

and see
if we can cut overheads.

And then we will find
a new chef,

though God knows
if we can find one

who will mash a potato
to your liking,

and then and only then,
we will reopen the restaurant.

Agreed?

-Margaret --
-Good.

You see, it´s better, isn´t it?

Talking things through.

It´s the first step
to working things out.

Smeddley.

Smeddley.

No, Smeddley.

Chief Superintendent Smeddley.

He´s been trying to contact me.

Why are you always eating?

I´m hungry.

Yeah, but you´re always eating,
you´re always hungry.

Yes?

Well, should I try and ring him
after this meeting

and before the next one
or after the afternoon meeting?

It´s the stress.
It makes me hungry.

Stress?

Okay. Bye.

Look, that would make you

the most stressed-out person
I´ve met.

Well, I possibly am

the most stressed-out person
that you´ve met.

Will you be quiet?!

I take it
there´s a problem, sir.

Yes.

Fisher wants a result by Friday,
or we´re out of here.

I tried to call Smeddley to ask
him to intercede on our behalf.

By Friday.
He can´t be serious.

Oh, yes.

They´re not getting any return
on their investment.

Resources are being downsized
or right-sized or something.

God knows.

They spout all this gibberish
about money.

It all means the same thing.
You can´t have any.

Are you saying we´re supposed to
start making arrests --

Don´t start on me, Sergeant!

I´m merely telling you
what the situation is!

Sir.

So instead of us all
falling out with ourselves,

let´s think of a way
to speed things up a bit.

How do you mean?

Well, these two are always
wanging on about their lunch.

Why don´t we get
one of Digwell´s posse

to bring a pizza over here,

leave something nickable
lying around,

-and if he falls for it --
-We nick him.

Yes. Then offer him
a winter break in Parkhurst.

And who knows?
He may just give us Digwell.

Right.
When, sir?

Margaret?

Oh, my God, the bank.

Tomorrow, Cambridge.

Hey, it´s Digwell.

And he´s got a new face
with him.

Anyone recognize him?

Nah, doesn´t ring
any bells with me.

Somehow or other,
I don´t see this one

delivering pizzas on a moped.

I´m sorry.

There you are.
I thought you were never coming.

I wouldn´t have missed this
for the world.

Right.
Now, look, listen.

Let me do the talking,
don´t make facetious remarks,

don´t interrupt,
and don´t lose your temper.

Bank managers are people, too.
Just remember that.

So...

Henry and Margaret Crabbe,
right?

Can we ask what happened
to Mr. Wimpole?

Wimpole?

Shunted off to South Wales,
I think.

We always found Mr. Wimpole
very helpful.

Probably that´s why he was
shunted off to South Wales.

Seems like
we´ve been writing you

rather a lot of letters
recently.

Yes, I am sorry about that.
The reason was --

Despite which you went over
your overdraft limit.

Yes.

A slight misunderstanding.
We really are very sorry.

The new food-storage regulations
meant more capital outlay,

but if you look at
our first quarter --

The thing about the restaurant
business, right,

is the amateurs it attracts.

You know,
nice, middle-class couples

who give little dinner parties.

Their friends just love
the wife´s duck à l´orange.

The next thing, bingo,
they´re turning pro.

Are you calling us amateurs?

The thing is,
where are you coming from?

Are you genuinely out to meet
the needs of the marketplace,

or is this restaurant
just an ego trip?

See this, Henry?

The world´s changing fast,
right?

Habits change.

What I want to know is,
can you adapt?

Mr. Humphrey, um,

if I could just have
your attention for a minute.

Uh, I am a chartered accountant.

I can read a balance sheet.

And I have had more experiences
with small business

than you have had hot pizzas.

And for your information, I am
incapable of boiling an egg,

let alone cooking
duck à l´orange,

which is not on our menu,
and it never has been.

I´m quite partial
to duck à l´orange, actually.

Done properly, it´s a classic.

What we are looking for is
practical help, not lectures.

Look, Margaret,
I´m running a business here.

You write checks on accounts
that are already overdrawn.

You don´t reply to letters.

Then you come in here and expect
me to say yes to everything.

Listen, matey,
it´s Mrs. Crabbe to you, right?

Margaret, Margaret,
Margaret, Margaret.

Please, please,
please, please, please.

It´s all right, it´s all right,
it´s all right.

Now, Darren.

It is Darren, isn´t it?

Yes.

How can you reach
a proper decision

if you don´t know
where we´re coming from?

Please come to the restaurant,
I´ll cook you a meal,

and let´s see if we can give you
something that they can´t.

Okay.

But, I warn you,

the new buzzword
around this bank is "no."

"Don´t lose your temper."

I know. All right, I blew it.
I blew it.

"Bank managers are people, too,
you know."

Yes, well,
you might find it funny, Henry.

That man is gonna close
our business.

Something wrong?

"Have you heard about Hooperman
yet?"

-What does this mean?
-I don´t know.

I keep getting anonymous
messages about Hooperman.

I suppose
it´s someone´s idea of a joke.

Not a very funny one.

No.

Hello, Nicola.

Hiya.

Can you lend us £10,000?

I could manage a tenner.

Mm, fine friend you are.

Listen, we shall need you back,
if we can reopen, you know.

Yeah, I know you will.

Will I tell that chef
to go home, then?

Chef?

What chef?

Here.

Hello.

Henry Crabbe.

Gary Palmer.

Listen, I´m afraid
there´s been a mistake.

I told the agency
not to send anyone else.

No, I´m not from the agency.

Steve told me
there was a job going.

-Steve Turner?
-Yeah.

-You´re a friend of Steve´s?
-Yeah.

Oh, right.
Well, have you known him long?

References.

But you haven´t worked
for over a year.

Now, why don´t you tell me

how you really found out
about this job?

Steve wouldn´t send
anyone ´round here

without telling me first.

I´m a police officer.
Did you know that?

Yeah.

You stink of the nick, son.

It´s all over you.

My probation officer used to be
Steve´s probation officer.

He told me Steve wasn´t working
for you anymore.

Why didn´t you say that
in the first place?

Wouldn´t have made
any difference, would it?

Fisher´s office just called.

They want you to meet him
at some golf course.

Oh, for God´s sake.

He wants to talk to you
about Dudley Hooperman.

What the hell
are you doing here, Crabbe?

I was told you wanted to see me,
sir.

Well, someone´s playing silly
buggers, because I don´t.

Something to do
with Dudley Hooperman.

Dudley Hooperman?

Dudley Hooperman is dead.

This is
Chief Inspector Geoff Woods.

He´s been working in Madrid
with the E.E.C. Fraud Bureau.

Dudley Hooperman is dead?

A couple of months ago.

A light aircraft
crashed in the mountains

just north of Seville.

Four men on board --
three Spaniards, one Brit.

No survivors.

I was particularly interested
in the Brit.

Identification
was a bit of a problem

until we discovered
his dental records.

The Brit´s name
was Dudley Hooperman.

Thank you, Geoff.
I´ll join you in the clubhouse.

I was gonna tell you
about Hooperman, Crabbe,

uh, as soon as the time
was right.

Come with me.

Hold this like that.

May I ask what you´re doing,
sir?

Tidying up a few loose ends.

What sort of loose ends?

Matters pertaining
to your bungled attempt

to arrest
Dudley Hooperman, actually.

I´m removing rather a nasty blot
from your copybook.

From our copybook, sir.

I wasn´t suspected of taking

rather a large bribe
from Hooperman.

By the way, I never for a moment
believed you took that bribe.

Pity you didn´t say so
at the time.

Loyalty to colleagues has always
been number one in my book.

But a man in my position
has a larger loyalty, Crabbe,

and that´s loyalty to the job.

Oh, yes, of course.

The job.

You know I´ve been keen
to take early retirement

the past couple of years.

You might have mentioned it,
yes.

Well, now we´ve tidied up
these loose ends,

is there any reason
why I shouldn´t put

the wheels in motion?

Whether or not you take
early retirement

is nothing to do with me,
Crabbe.

It´s a matter for Personnel.

And the police surgeon,
for that matter.

You´ll find a bin for that
over there.

Hello.

Hello.

Do you know, I still can´t get
used to coming home

and seeing the restaurant
in darkness.

It´s really depressing.

Henry, let´s suppose,
just for a moment,

that we can´t reopen
the restaurant.

Yes.

Well, I´ve had an idea.

Now, promise
you won´t jump down my throat.

Mail order.

No, mail-order food is huge,
Henry.

I´d never have known
if I hadn´t looked into it.

Kippers, cakes, you name it --
They can mail it.

Well, why not mail-order pies?

And the overheads are minimal.

You don´t need a restaurant,

just somewhere to cook
the bloody things.

Pack ´em up, post ´em off.

And you don´t have the world
and his wife traipsing in

wanting to be waited on
hand and foot.

Henry?

I had a really strange meeting

with Freddy Fisher
this afternoon.

What do you mean?

Dudley Hooperman has been killed
in a plane crash.

Then the world´s a better place.

And Freddy Fisher
was shredding documents.

I´ll bet he was.

And we talked about
my taking early retirement.

And?

Said it was nothing to do
with him.

Oh, really.

We know he was only keeping me
around to take the flak

in case Hooperman came jumping
out of the woodwork.

But now that Hooperman´s been
killed, he doesn´t need me.

Practically said as much.

And you believe
everything that Fisher says.

Anyway, Henry, I´ve been looking
into your pension

because the teenage bank manager
is sure to want to know.

Oh.

And if you work
the full 30 years

and retire in three years´ time,

then you stand to get
a lump sum of 70,000 grand

-and then 15,000 a year.
-I know.

But if you retire early,
you´re only gonna get, what --

40,000 and then 11 grand a year.

What are you talking about?

Of course
I´ll get a full pension.

It happens all the time.

Blokes do their 20 years, and
then they suddenly start getting

back pains or stress symptoms,

and off they go
with a full pension.

´Cause it helps them cut back
the staffing numbers,

everybody´s happy.

Of course
I´m gonna get a full pens--

I was shot in the leg,
for God´s sake.

Well, I hope you´re right,
Henry,

because if you don´t get a full
pension, you can´t retire.

Okay, sir?

Whose turn is it to say,
"Go, go, go"?

All right, Kerly.
Get on with it.

Roger, gov.

I´ll have a medium
deep-pan Pacifico, please,

with, um --
with extra pepperoni.

And...

...extra coconut, as well,
please.

Yeah, we´re just across the road
in the old travel agent´s.

Just let yourselves in.

We´re at the top of the stairs,
first floor.

We´re at the room at the front.

That´s fine.
Okay. Bye.

Leave that briefcase open so
they can see the credit cards.

Nice one.

Would you like to have a look
at the latest photos?

Oh, please, Cambridge.

Thank you.

Gah!
These are terrible.

I know.
It´s the processing.

Mac had them done at that cheapo
place on the High Street.

What on earth did he take them
there for?

Because the police lab
charges 10 quid a roll.

-Charges who?
-Us, sir.

It comes off the budget
for the investigation.

It´s the new system.
Didn´t you know?

Whatever will
they think of next.

Now, who´s that?

Don´t know yet.
Face ring a bell?

Mm, perhaps.

I´ll take one of these,
if I may.

Ah.

This looks like it might be it.

All right, Mac, it looks like
Foster´s on his way.

Rog.

Anyone home?

Hello?
It´s Lightning Pizza.

Got your pizza here.

Hello?

Hello?

This is A.C.C Fisher.

I thought you lot were moving
out of there today.

I don´t know, pal.

I´m only trying to deliver
a pizza, aren´t I?

I beg your pardon.

I said, "I´ve got a Pacifico

with extra pepperoni
and coconut here,"

which comes to £5.75, right,

and there´s no one here
to pay for it.

Will you shut up?
Who am I talking to?

Hold it!

You order a pizza?

Yeah.

£5.75, then.

He did.

Hm.

Pork and beans?

Blade of pork and haricot beans.

Blade of pork.

Nice cheap cut.

Yeah, well, I´m skint, aren´t I,
oh, until I rob me next bank.

What do you want?

I´ve been having a glance
at your record.

My, what an interesting life
you´ve led, Gary.

You reckon.

Mm.

I particularly enjoyed
your latest exploit,

the one that got you sent down.

Oh, yeah.

Yes.

You get the sack from
a Knightsbridge restaurant,

so you nick a set of keys
and a bottle of brandy.

Then you come back in the middle
of the night completely ratted,

open up the restaurant, and
invite all the passersby in

for drinks on the house.

Then you pick a fight with them.

And by the time
the police arrive,

there´s a full-scale riot
going on.

Apparently it takes
half a dozen police officers

about an hour to subdue you.

Yeah, well, the head chef

slagged off my mayonnaise,
didn´t he?

Fights, chases in stolen cars,
drunk and disorderlies,

breaches of the peace.

There´s even a case
of public nudity.

You know, looking at your record

reminded me of one of the more
lurid Jacobean tragedies.

It´s alcohol, okay?

I´ve got a problem.

Every time I have a drink,
I-I turn into someone else.

Jekyll and Hyde sort of thing?

Right.

But I haven´t had a drink
in 14 months.

So this is the nice you
I´m talking to.

Right.
Is that it?

-You finished?
-Not quite.

How did you get this?

That doesn´t matter.

What does matter is that
you can´t afford to be seen

in company like that.

No, I know.

I mean, that´s
why I didn´t take the job.

Job?

Yeah, making pizzas.

Friend of mine said
that this Digwell guy

was looking for a pizza chef.

So we meet.

We went ´round
to the restaurant.

It didn´t take me long
to suss he was at it.

"Thanks, but no thanks," I said,
and off I went.

At it?
At what?

You already know that,
don´t you?

I mean, that´s why
you´re taking photographs.

I´d like to hear it from you.

I want you to consider, Gary,

that this is one
of those really important,

"this could change your life"
sort of moments.

It´s drugs, isn´t it?

Grass, whizz, E,
whatever you want.

You phone up, use the code,
and get it delivered.

If you spend over 30 quid,
the pizza´s free.

I see.

Thank you.

Now, are you gonna let me try
the pork and beans or not?

See, all the stuff they need to
make the pizzas with

is delivered
by outside suppliers.

They don´t even make
their own bases.

That´s right. The van comes
´round twice a week.

So why does Digwell schlep
´round his own pizza bases?

Of course. That´s when
they bring the drugs ´round.

But when? I mean, some days
he turns up empty-handed.

There´s no pattern.

My guess would be Saturday.

Big demand for the weekend.

"Don´t bother cooking, darling.

I´ll just phone for a pizza and
a gram of amphetamine sulphate."

Tomorrow is Saturday, Cambridge.

Mm. And I thought
this investigation was over.

No, Mr. Fisher said close down
the O.P.

Doesn´t mean to say
we can´t park outside it

for a couple of hours.

Chief Inspector Smeddley
has just left the building.

God, that means I´ve missed
another tactical-review meeting.

Oh, hello, Henry.

God, I´m tired.

How did it go
with the local mafia?

The Chamber of Commerce meeting
went very well, thank you.

Margaret, uh,
can I talk to you, please?

Oh, Henry, I´m going to bed.
I´m exhausted.

Margaret, will you sit down,
because I want to speak to you.

Now...mail order.

-Ah, yes --
-Uh!

You see, one of the things
I enjoy

about being in that kitchen
is cooking food

for people
who are actually present.

See, there I am cooking away,
and here they are, eating away.

And one of the things I like
about a busy restaurant

full of people
tucking into their food,

is the sound of sort of a
constant hum in the background,

you see, like static.

And that is the sound of people
enjoying themselves.

Yes, I know.

Standing in front
of an industrial oven,

turning out pies
by the truckload

so that they can be bunged
in the post is no substitute,

and I will not do it.

So, if this restaurant
has to stay shut,

then we´ll just go back
to the way we were,

which is to say,
I will cook delicious meals

for the two of us which you will
fail to appreciate.

I just wanted to share that
with you

so there can be absolutely
no misunderstandings.

Have you finished?
Can I speak?

Yes.

Well, as a matter of fact,

before you launched
into that diatribe,

I was going to apologize to you

for the way I´ve been banging on
these past few days.

No, you weren´t.
You were going to bed.

Well, tomorrow, then.

A likely story.

No, really, Henry.

I mean it.
I am sorry.

I honestly hope that
we don´t lose the restaurant

because, believe it or not,
I enjoy it, too.

It´s just I worry
about our finances,

and when I worry, I get tetchy.

Look, I´ve worked out
what to cook

for the teenage bank manager.

I´ve gone
for some serious economy,

and I´ve worked it out
to the nearest penny.

See?
Not bad, eh?

Oh, very good, Henry.

That´s very impressive.

Now I really must go to bed.

I won´t be long.

I do appreciate your cooking,
Henry.

That fish pie thing
the other day, for instance.

You mean the casserole?

Yes, the fish casserole.
Marvelous.

You mean the chicken casserole?

Yes, that´s the one.

Marvelous!

Night-night, Margaret.

Here he comes.

I want him with the stuff in his
car or on his person, Sergeant.

Sir.

Carry those in for me, lads.

I´ll take those, Mr. Digwell.

You just can´t get the staff
these days,

can you, Mr. Digwell?

Oh, you make a wicked pizza
with those lot, eh, Tel?

I´m arresting you
on suspicion of --

Look out!

Nice one, gov.

Oi!

This is a one-way street, chum.

Oh, it´s you, Crabbe.

Hello, Henderson.

I´m glad I bumped into you.

There´s a rumor going around

that you´re shutting
Pie in the Sky.

-Is that right?
-I´m not sure yet.

Which reminds me, I need
a few things on Monday.

New potatoes, King Edwards,
and fresh garden peas.

Ooh, I´ve got some lovely spuds

in the back now,
if you´re interested.

I don´t think this is
the ideal time, Henderson,

public relations-wise.

I´ll call ´round first thing
Monday.

-Hello.
-Hello.

Hello, Nicola.

This is Gary.
He´ll be working with me today.

And this is
what we´re going to give

the teenage bank manager
for lunch.

You want to taste
the beurre blanc?

Mm.

It´s good.

He´s here.

Nicola, off you go.

I can´t stop long, you know.

Uh, um, champagne, Mr. Humphrey?

God, no.
I never drink at lunchtime.

Oh, Darren, please.

Just to show you´ve forgiven me

for my appalling behavior
the other day.

Well, as you´ve poured it.

But I´ve got a big meeting
at 3:00.

Darren, just relax
and enjoy your lunch.

Okay.

It´s potato pancake
with a soft poached egg,

shavings of crispy bacon,
chopped fresh chives,

and a beurre-blanc sauce,

which is made with shallots,
butter, and white-wine vinegar.

Potato pancake, huh?

That´s a new one on me.

Glass of Chablis?

Mmm. Now you come to mention it,
I´m a bit peckish.

Well, starters went down a bomb.

Main course is ready.

Here he is, the man himself!

All right, Henry?

Yeah, I´m all right,
thank you, Darren.

Um, a glass of Burgundy,
perhaps?

Oh, just half a glass for me.

Fantastic fries.

Ah, I thought
you might appreciate them.

Would you like me to tell you
about the pie?

Darren´s just been telling me

this really funny story
about a tax inspector.

That´s nice.

Now, this particular pie

is filled with ox kidneys
and rump steak marinated --

Henry.
So, what did he say next?

He said, "How dare you?
Those are my expenses."

You wouldn´t believe it.

They´re telling jokes
about capital-gains tax.

Right.

Time to wheel out
the rice pudding

and the homemade raspberry jam.

Fantastic.

You might be interested in this.

We costed this meal
that you´ve just eaten.

The whole thing comes
to 3 pounds and 3 pence exactly.

Not bad, eh?

Fantastic.

So, Darren, how about
ever such a brief chat

about that bank loan?

Any danger
of some more pudding wine?

What´s happening now?

They´re still talking.

No, wait a minute.

They´re standing up.

They´re shaking hands.

It´s over.

Thank you.

Well done, Margaret.

Oh, it was the food that did it.

-Mwah.
-Oh.

Did you see him eat?

I´m sorry.

Look, Gary, when we reopen,

we could try your pork and beans
recipe on the lunch menu, eh?

Cheers.

Good work, Crabbe.

Digwell and four accomplices
arrested and charged.

It´s gonna make the clear-up
rate look damn good,

and the public do love to see
drug dealers going down.

It´s excellent work.

Can I just say, sir, it was
D.S. Cambridge´s persistence

that brought about
these arrests?

Mind you,
Chief Superintendent Smeddley

wants to know why you lot
were swanning around

Barstock High Street
on a Saturday

without letting him know.

I´ll take full responsibility
for that, sir.

Very noble, I´m sure.

All right, Crabbe, that´s all.

Oh, um...

...I thought
you ought to know, sir.

I´m seeing the police surgeon
next week.

About taking early retirement.

He´s a good man, Derek.

Derek?

Derek Milner,
the police surgeon.

I play golf with him.

In fact, I played golf
with him yesterday.

I think I ought to warn you
there´s a rethink under way

about this early retirement
on full pensions business.

You know,
the famous bad-back syndrome.

It´s a terrific drain on
the pension fund, for a start.

I was shot, sir.

Oh, come off it, Crabbe.

A flesh wound in the leg
two years ago.

I don´t want to pre-empt
the police surgeon,

but the question is,

are you capable
of fulfilling your duties?

It does rather look
as though you are.

Doesn´t it?

Haven´t you seen this?

No.

I thought it was about time
you got some credit.

Here you are.

Have it framed.
Hang it up in your café.

No.
No, thank you, sir.

Cheer up, Crabbe.

Only three more years.

It´ll go just like that.

Can you manage on your own
for a minute, Gary?

Yeah.

Pork and beans, Nicola.

So, this program you´re on.

It´s like Alcoholics Anonymous,
right?

Yeah, a bit.

I have to go to meetings.

And there are rules.

Like what?

Like you can´t get
into any new relationships,

you know, until you´re ready.

You have to stay celibate.

What, you mean
you´re not allowed to --

Right.

How long does that go on for,
then?

Evening, sir.

Oh, God, Cambridge,
what are you doing here?

Oh, I´m having dinner
with a friend.

And, well,
I really wanted to thank you

for your support
on the Digwell investigation.

Not necessary.

Hear it didn´t go too well
with the police surgeon.

It was a disaster.

Apparently, I´m 100% fit.

Hello.

This is the friend
I was telling you about.

Geoff Woods, Henry Crabbe.

Good to meet you.

Hello.

I´m going to have a serious talk
with you, Cambridge.

I can´t think what about.

Well, I´m starving.

-Shall we eat?
-Mm-hmm.

Smeddley.

Just what the world needs.
Another meeting.

Subtitling made possible by
RLJ Entertainment