All language subtitles for Perfect Strangers s02e21 Get a Job.eng

We're serious. You giris pick the restaurant.
Balki and I will take you to dinner.

Money is no object.
- You heard that right.

When Larry and Balki go first
class, they eat the whole hog.

You guys must be pretty sure
Mr. Twinkacetti's going to give you a raise.

Oh, he'll give us a raise. Cousin
Larry put it in very uncertain terms.

Mm-hm. After the little talk
I had with him yesterday...

...it's in the bag.

Hmm. I was good.
No, no, I was great.

I told him that when he walked
through that door today...

...I wanted an answer, and
it had better be the right one.

Good morning, Mr. Twinkacetti.
- Yeah, yeah.

Mr. Twinkacetti?

Isn't there something
you want to tell us?

Yeah, get to work.

Well, look at the
time. We'd better go.

Bye.

Bye-bye.
- Bye.

Cousin, we're not going to let him
do that to us, are you?

No.

No, we're not. We're
gonna clear this up right now.

Mr. Twinkacetti, we
need to talk about our raise.

Yeah, I promised I'd have
an answer for you, didn't I?

You're darned tooting.

Yeah, well, I'm a
man of my word. No raise.

Well, I guess
we're snookered.

Hey, would you...?

What?

Mr. Twinkacetti, we are
overworked and underpaid.

I know you're overworked.
I'm not insensitive.

That's why I hired a new guy
to help you out.

Wait a minute. If you can't
afford to give us a raise...

...how can you afford
to hire a new man?

Ah, simple economics. It's
the, uh, trickle-down theory.

See, the money I'm gonna pay the new guy
will be trickling out of your salary.

Sorry.

All right.

All right, Twinkacetti,
you pushed me too far.

Every day you
insult me and I take it.

Well, I'm not
gonna take it anymore.

There are a million jobs better than this.
There are a million bosses better than you.

I quit.

I quit too.

I appreciate your loyalty, and I understand
you're willing to make a sacrifice...

...but you don't have to quit
just because I quit.

Yes, I do.

We're a team. We
should be together.

Of course you should stay
together. You share a brain.

Mr. Twinkacetti...

...you can't talk to Cousin
Larry and me like that anymore.

Like the great Nancy Sinatra said,
"These boots were made for walking."

Fine, walk. Who needs you?

Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?
Well, who needs you?

Ha!
- Ha-ha!

Ha!

That felt pretty good.
- Well, you can say that again.

Ha! Ha.
- Ha-ha!

Now what do we do?
- I don't know.

Ah. Ha.
- Ah-ha.

Tomorrow we go
out and get new jobs.

In America, you can do
anything you want to do.

You just have to
set your sights high.

Could I be chief justice
of the Supreme Court?

Lower, Balki.

Could I be chief justice...

...of the Supreme Court?

Fat Marsha's?

This can't be the place.

Well, this is the address
the employment agency gave us.

This place doesn't have
a management program.

A methadone program, maybe.

Okay, we train for that.

Cousin, come on, face it.

We're going to have to
chew the bullet on this one.

It's been two
weeks, the rent is due...

...and I haven't heard back
from the Supreme Court.

Uh, excuse me.

Uh, we were supposed
to meet a Ms. Manning.

That's me, Fat Marsha.

You don't look fat, Fat Marsha.
- Well, thank you, sweetie.

I used to weigh 300 pounds...

...but when I opened this
place, I lost my appetite.

Ah.

Now I'm having
the time of my life.

You boys here
about the jobs...

...or are you answering my ad
in the personals?

We're... We're
here about the jobs.

My name is Balki Bartokomous,
and this is my cousin Larry Appleton.

Hey, you're cute.

Uh...

Well, I think there's been a mistake.
- No, you're cute, all right.

And you're not so bad yourself.
Where are you from?

Oh, I'm from Mypos. But I
can still work here, can't I?

Well, of course you can, darling.
I'm an equal-opportunity employer.

Well, I'm an equal opportunity.

Well, the employment office sent us here
for management-trainee positions...

...but I'm sure they
gave us the wrong address.

Ah, no mistake.

My other management trainees quit.
They were, uh, worn out.

I'll get you a
couple of uniforms.

Well, no, actually, we were
really looking for something...

...with career-advancement opportunities.

Well, don't worry, cutie.

I got a feeling you're
gonna advance real fast.

She's got a nice smile.

Then you put the
burger on the bun...

...the bun on the plate.

Then you take the ticket
from the wheel...

...and you place them both
on the counter.

And then you ring the bell.

Ring the bell.

I like your spirit, Balki.
- Oh.

Hmm.

And you have nice
firm handwriting.

Do you ever arm-wrestle naked?
- Oh.

No. That would be cheating.

Cheating?

I like that.

Here. Put these on.

No. Like this.

Need a hand, honey?
- No, I got it.

Oh. There's something about a man
in uniform that drives me crazy.

Mm... I'll see you boys
in a couple of hours.

I'm gonna go pump some iron.

Oh, cousin, you're
not going to believe this.

I already don't believe this.

It's a humongous can of tuna.

I'll bet Charlie and his
whole family are in here.

Yes, I bet they are.
- And look at this.

A message center.

And this.

A bell system.

I can't wait to
write home about this.

Balki, wake up
and smell the roach spray.

This place is one step away
from being condemned.

Well, in Mypos, this
is a five-star restaurant.

This is the best offer
we've had in two weeks.

All right, all right.
Let's try to make the best of it.

Okay. Uh, I want be the cook.
- No.

No, I want... Because
then I get to ring the bell.

Balki, I'll be the cook,
you be the waiter.

I want be the cook.
- No.

I want be the cook.
- You can't be the cook.

Balki, please.

All right, you can be the cook.
- Okay.

Why am I arguing about
the level of my humiliation?

See?

Balki.

How's that chilidog coming?
- Oh.

BALKl:
Mm-hm.

Ready to go.

Need beans to feed
the baby. Yeah, baby.

There you are.

May I help you?
- Yeah.

Last time I was in here,
the meat loaf was gritty.

It tasted like sawdust...

...and the gravy was a
kind of greenish-brown stuff.

What's it like today?

Pretty much the same.

Give me a double order.

And you have an
order of fries coming.

Double order of meat loaf.

Oh, and, uh, I'm
missing an order of fries.

I don't see an
order of fries.

I forgot to put it up.
I just need an order of fries.

If it's not on the wheel,
you don't get a meal.

I just made that up.

French fries.

I love this machine. It does shrimp too.

Balki, we don't serve shrimp.

Yes, I know, but if we did,
this little baby would fry their little tails off.

Are these ready?
- Well, almost. Okey-dokey.

Now, we got two
Blackhawk Burgers...

...and one Puck Burger...

...and three Slap-Shot Slaws.

Balki, I can see the orders.
Do you have to ring the bell?

I have to ring the bell.

Okay.

We got two Blackhawks with slaw...

...and one Puck with slaw.

Your french fries are coming.
Your meat loaf will be out in a sec.

It's soaking.

Anybody need anything?

No.
- Good.

Balki, this job is a breeze.

I think I'll bring in
a little TV tomorrow.

Balki, what are you doing?

I'm putting 25
patties on the grill.

Marsha told me to do that
for the 4:00 rush.

She also told me she's
taking me to Club Med...

...but you don't see me packing.

You got vacation already?

No. Balki, I mean, it's 4:00 now.
You're looking at the rush.

Well, no, cousin, Marsha told me
there was going to be a rush.

Ah, Balki, come here.

Come on. Look outside.

Okay? Do you see a rush?

I see a big herd of people coming
across the street from the stadium.

Oh, my Lord. There
must have been a game today.

Cousin, they're pulling the
parking meters out of the ground.

There must have
been a hockey game.

That was the worst
game I've ever seen.

Hey, hey, I haven't ordered yet.
- All right, yes. Who had the Puck Burger?

Where is my chilidog?
- I don't know. Here, have a Puck Burger.

Hurry up. What's wrong with you?

What's going on?
- Hey! When are you gonna take my order?

Yeah, I'm a little
busy right now. Yeah, right.

Balki, what are you doing?

I lost my place on the wheel.

Pat Sajak makes it look so easy.
- All right.

Balki. Balki. Don't
go to pieces on me now.

I need you. I
need... Be here for me.

I will.
- All right, come on.

All right, all we've gotta do
is put these things together here.

I'll just put them together.
Everything will be fine.

We're just gonna get these fries
and they'll all be ordered.

If we put the fries and all
of the... We're gonna be fine.

Balki, Balki, Balki.

Are you with me, buddy?

Yes, I am.
- All right. All right.

Hey.

I'd like to eat while I
still have my teeth. Yeah.

All right, here we go. Coming...
- I'm still waiting for my chilidog.

It's coming, it's coming.
You'll be amazed how fast it comes.

Okay, you have the
Blackhawk Burgers and the Puck Pups.

I still haven't ordered yet.
- Well, I ordered for you.

Who do I have to kill
to get a chilidog around here?

Uh, it's ready right now.
I'll get it. I'm gonna get it.

Balki. Balki, I need
a chilidog desperately.

Well, cousin,
we're out of chili.

What do you mean?
We can't be out of chili.

Well, but... Well, it...
My chili happens to be very popular.

Balki, there is a man
over there who will kill me...

...if I don't give him
a chilidog right now.

Well, we're out of chili.
- We can't be.

I don't know what to tell you.
Read my lips, we're out of...

Hey, bozos.

Hi.
- Hi.

I still don't
have my chilidog.

Coming.

Is that him?
- Yes, yes, that's him.

Well, then I suggest we find some chili.
- Okay, okay.

Okay, we have to tell...
- Okay, okay.

What is it?
- Well, I found something.

What is it?
- It looks something like chili.

It's green.

I'm waiting.

Close enough.

There you go.

Uh, this was supposed to be to go.
- Right, yes, of course.

Here you go. On the house.

Watch where you're
walking, jerk face.

Hey, how would you like me
to walk on your face, dirt ball?

Now, who you calling a
dirt ball, you jerk face?

You, horse breath.
Fight!

We have a very strict
no fighting policy.

Okay, break it up.

Put them down. Carefully.

Well, these two
hockey pucks started it.

Out. Now.

Are we still on for tonight?
- Are we still on for tonight?

I'll let you know.

L... I can explain everything.

Well, there's nothing to explain.
It's always like this during hockey season.

You okay, honeybunch?
- Well...

Well, you okay, Balki?

Well, I got a little something
in my eye, but I...

Well, good, because I was afraid
you had broken something important.

No, no.

L... l... I think she just
invited me to Club Med.

Why were those
dogs chasing us?

Because we smell
like cheap hamburger.

You smell like
cheap hamburger. L...

I'm not sure what I smell like.

I can't believe it.

We actually managed to find jobs...

...that are worse
than working for Twinkacetti.

Oh, cousin, it
wasn't all that bad.

"Wasn't all that bad"?

Balki, we spent the day
feeding tainted meat...

...to homicidal hockey fans.

Not to mention being sexually harassed
by the Amazing Colossal Woman.

What job could be worse?

Well, what about that lady
I saw on televisi�n...

...that has to check the
waistbands on men's underwear?

What I meant was we should have
taken the pay cut...

...and stayed
with Twinkacetti.

Oh, Mr. And Mrs. Twinkacetti.

I know rent is due. We don't get paid
until the end of the week.

Don't worry about that, boys.
I just found out why you quit.

Donald has something
he wants to say.

Speak, Donald.

I'd, uh, like you to
come back to work for me.

Well, uh, what happened
to the new man?

He's history.
Tell them why, Donald.

That bum was stealing me blind.

Now, you two are losers,
but at least you're honest losers.

High praise indeed.

Well, Mr. Twinkacetti, we would love
to come back and work for you...

...but it's not possible,
because we've got new jobs...

...and we're management trainees,
and we're advancing rather rapidly.

Balki.
- Uh... Uh...

On the other hand, every
management trainee has his price.

Yes, yes, I see.

But we'd be willing
to hear your offer.

Make them an offer, Donald.

I was just gonna
do that, sweetheart.

Uh, let's say, same job,
same pay, no hard feelings.

What do you say?

Let's say we get the raise
we should've got in the first place...

...you pay us overtime...

...and we never hear
the word "losers" again.

Donald says yes.

Can I go now? I
still got dishes to do.

Of course, dear.

It's nice to have you back, boys.

Thank you.
- Oh. Thank you, Mrs. Twinkacetti.

Do yourselves a favor.

Burn these clothes.

Bye-bye.
- Bye.

How do you like that, Balki?

We got our jobs back.
- Yeah.

Ah.

Why don't we feel happy?

Maybe because we're going back
to the crummy jobs...

...we hated two weeks ago.

That's a good
point, a very good point.

Well, this is one
way to look at it:

We're not going
to have those jobs forever.

You came to Chicago to be a
photographer, and you will be.

Yeah.

And you didn't travel thousands of miles
to be a clerk in a discount store.

Yeah.

Someday I'll graduate from
night school and I'll go to college.

Yeah.

Then we can tell Twinkacetti
what to do with our jobs...

...and we can mean it.

Yeah.

Cousin, I'm getting happy.
Do you know what I feel coming on?

A dance of joy?
- Yes.

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