All language subtitles for Perfect Strangers s02e12 Dog Gone Blues.eng

BALKl:
All right, cousin.

Cover your eyes,
I have a surprise for you.

You know I don't like surprises
unless I know what they are.

What is it?
- Cousin, if I tell you, it won't be a surprise...

Balki.
- Okay, I give you a hint.

It's bright green, it hangs
from a tree and it's 24 feet long.

Bright green, hangs from a tree
and it's 24 feet long.

Oh!

It's a dog.

It certainly is.

My hint threw you off, huh?
- Yes, way off.

Isn't he great?
- Yes.

His name is Suprides.
- Suprides?

Very good.
- Oh.

Well, that's a very
pretty name. What does it mean?

It means dog.

It means dog?

Well, of course it does.
Don't be ridiculous.

What did you think
I'd call him, table?

Well, he's a very cute dog.
Who does he belong to?

Cousin, that's the
great part. He belong to us.

Now I am so happy,
I do the Dance of Joy.

Balki, did I miss something?

When I left this morning,
I didn't own half a dog.

Well, you're a
richer man today.

You're gonna love this.

The other day, I am on my
lunch hour taking a walk...

...and I see this
little dog taking a walk.

It must have been
his lunch hour too.

So I wanted to
have lunch with him.

You want the spaghetti or the meat loaf?
- Meat loaf.

I want the meat loaf.

All right, I'll have the spaghetti.
- Okay.

Anyway...

...before I could
ask him to lunch...

...a man comes up in a prison truck
and jumps out and arrests him.

Don't tell me. You
followed them to the pound.

Did I tell you this story?

No, no, you didn't.
- Well, I didn't think so.

So, well, I followed them
to the dog prison.

And they tell me that if nobody comes
to claim him, that he could be ours.

So today, I went back...

...and nobody claim him,
and they give him to me.

Isn't that wonderful?

And so now he's ours and
he comes to live here with us.

And we, we take him to the park.
- Wait.

And we teach him to fetch and catch.
- No, wait, wait.

And we teach him to save children
from the burning building just like Loussie.

Lassie.

Let's go back to that part
where he's going to live here with us.

He's a very nice dog, but, Balki,
I don't see how we can keep him.

Don't... Don't talk like that in front of him.
You'll hurt his little feelings.

Uh, excuse us, Suprides.

BALKl: Now, wait there, Suprides. Bad pup.
- Balki, Balki.

Balki, Balki, Balki.

Have you given any thought at all
to what's involved in having a dog?

Well, of course I have.
Don't be ridiculous.

Balki, we don't even know
if he's housebroken.

Ah, I can train him.
I'm good at that.

I'm a sheepherder.

Of course, you can't train a sheep.
They're dumb as a rock.

We're both ignoring
the biggest problem.

We can't keep Suprides because
our lease forbids us to have pets.

Get out of the city.
- Yes.

How could anyone
not allow animals?

Balki, Twinkacetti evicted
the last tenants for having pets.

Do you want that
to happen to us?

No, but, cousin,
don't make me take him back.

I had... When I was a little boy,
I have a dog on Mypos called Couscous.

And he grows up with me
and he tends sheep with me.

And before you, he
was my best friend.

And when I came to America,
I have to leave him behind.

And now I have a dog again.

Well, Balki, I
know how you feel.

I had a dog back
in Madison. Spot.

I named him myself.

Yeah, he showed up on
our front door one winter...

...half frozen,
the poor little fella.

We thawed him out,
nursed him back to health.

I taught him to bring me the paper.
Spot was smart as a whip.

Well, my little puppy dog Couscous
was smart as two whips.

In the morning, he use
to bring me my sandals.

When Spot fetched the paper, he used
to bring us each the section we wanted.

When we wanted news...

...Couscous used to drag home
the village gossip.

Spot could read the paper.

Couscous could
play the mandolin.

Spot did my taxes.

Bullwinkle.
- All right.

He didn't do my taxes, but he
was one of the all-time great dogs.

Oh, cousin.
- I miss him.

Cousin, wouldn't it be great
to have a dog again?

Yes, you like
that, don't you?

Yes, you do.

Yes. Yes, yes.

No. No, no, no.

The bottom line is, our lease forbids it.
We'll have to take him back.

But, cousin, the man
at the dog prison says...

...that the dogs that
nobody wants are put to sleep.

And if we take him back,
this dog is a dead duck.

Yeah...

...maybe we could work it out.

And Twinkacetti is not that hard to fool.
- Well, you got that right. He hired us.

All right, if we're gonna break
the rules, we have to do it right.

We'll have to work the dog's
schedule around Twinkacetti's.

Make sure there's no telltale
doggy signs around the apartment.

Yeah, yeah.

I think we could do it.
What do you think?

I think we can do
it. What do you think?

He's thinking it over.

He says he thinks we can do it.

What's he say now?
- How should I know? He's a dog.

Okay, Suprides.
Snack time, buddy.

Here we go. I got your favorite.
Sour cream and onion, huh?

You like one of these?
What do you say?

Yes, good doggy.

Don't tell Balki
I give you these.

Cousin, Mr. Twinkacetti's coming.

All right, all right.

Don't panic.

Code red.

Dust sucker!

Dust sucker.

Come on, come on, come on.

Here we go, here we go.
Come on, here we go.

Uh-oh.

TWINKACETTl: All
right, tenants, listen up!

Here's the new light bulb for
the hall. Try to make this one last.

I don't know if we
can pull this off.

Sooner or later, we're gonna get caught.
- Cousin, relax.

If we're careful, Mr.
Twinkacetti never find Suprides.

Come on, Suprides.
Something will go wrong.

Something always goes wrong
when I break rules.

We won't get caught.
You are a great planner.

I am?
- You are.

Your code red
was brilliant.

Yeah, it was pretty good, wasn't it?
- Yes.

Yeah, well, I'm
not worried about us.

I mean, we're dealing with a
dog here. He could make a mistake.

Oh, no. Not Suprides.

This is the smartest dog in America.

Okay, Suprides, let's go show Cousin Larry
what you learned in only one week.

Come on, come on.

Sit, sit.

Okay.

Now we are so happy,
we do the Dance of Joy.

Good boy. He's a smart dog.

You see? There's
nothing to worry about.

Between the three of us,
we can pull this off.

This whole thing
makes me very nervous.

But when you're not being nervous,
don't you just love Suprides?

See? He says he loves you too.

Oh, now you can understand him?
- When he barks clearly.

Oh, oh.

Well, he is a
wonderful dog.

He's worth a little inconvenience.

Now, that's the spirit of '76.

We'll just do what mankind has done
for centuries when faced with a challenge.

We'll adapt.

In a week, this will
all seem second nature.

In a month, it
would be third nature.

Balki, let's take
our dog for a walk.

In the fresh air.
- Proudly.

With dignity.
- Let's go.

Now, remember, when
we get to the corner...

...you and Suprides get in the dumpster
and I'll push you to the park.

Baby. Puppy.

Yeah, he wants to go for
his walk, doesn't he? Yes.

All right, you
deadbeats, open up.

BALKl:
Come on, Suprides.

Mr. Twinkacetti,
what brings you up here?

You owe me rent. Open up.

He came for the
rent. Didn't you pay it?

You pay the rent.
- I gave you the check.

No, you didn't.

TWINKACETTl: I'm
getting ticked off out here.

Okay, I'm writing the check
right now. Just a slight oversight.

Now, that's two T's
in Twinkacetti, isn't it?

Okay, here we go.
Here's the check.

I'm sorry I can't ask you in.
I'm contagious. I have rickets.

What you got is a
dog in here. I heard it.

We don't have a dog.

That's against
our leash. Lease.

Then what are you doing with this?
- That's mine.

Yours? You eat that?

Oh, yes. Very nutritious.

No additives, no preservatives.
Chock-full of vitamins.

Yes. You should eat this well.

Why don't you have
a snack right now?

Mmm.

This is delicious.

And if you're a gravy lover,
you just add water.

Mr. Twinkacetti,
you catch me unawares.

Cousin, guests? Why
you didn't tell me?

I was just telling Mr. Twinkacetti
about our nutrition program.

Balki turned me on to this.

What?
- I'm just explaining to Mr. Twinkacetti...

...why we have dog food
in the house but no dog.

See? Yes.

Would you care to
join us for dinner?

It's nothing fancy.

Aha!

Dog hair.
- Dog hair?

Balki, he thinks
that's dog hair.

We were entertaining a
couple of young ladies last night.

They shed.

Norwegian.

Oh, please.

What's in the bedroom?
- Nothing.

My girlfriend.
- Nothing but his girlfriend.

Inga.

Mr. Twinkacetti, you have
no right to invade our privacy.

You can't just barge in here
and search our apartment.

I have every right. I'm the landlord.

We're the tenants. We have...
On the other hand, why beat a dead dog?

Search to your heart's contempt.
- Be our guest.

Why did you make
me eat dog food?

I had to. Why are
you wearing my clothes?

Don't change the subject.
- Why are you wearing my clothes?

Hi.
- Hi.

Your girlfriend seems
to have disappeared.

Well, she's very shy. She
probably jumped out the window.

Guys, guys, I know
you got a dog in here.

When I find it, you either get it
out of here or you're out of here.

Seems fair.

Thank you so much for dropping by.

How did Suprides get out of the bedroom?
- Well, he opened the door.

But I know that.
How did he open the door?

I taught him how to
do it with his teeth.

Well, unless you taught him how to
hail a cab, I suggest we go get him.

Get rid of Inga.

Don't worry, Suprides.

I don't let Mr.
Twinkacetti take you away.

I'll think of something.

Do you have any ideas?

Me neither.

Balki, how you doing?

Cousin, I can't
talk right now.

I have to think of a way
to keep Suprides.

Balki, Mr. Twinkacetti said
Suprides had to be out by today.

Cousin, we have till midnight.

Well, I think I
came up with something.

I went to an organization
that finds homes for animals.

Cousin, I told you,
I don't want you to do that.

Well, I think I found
the right family for Suprides.

You'll like the Coopers.

Cousin, how can you think of sending
Suprides to a family you don't even know?

I've talked to the Coopers for a long time.
They took me out to their place.

It's a farm with trees
and meadows and a brook...

...and they've got two kids
who are just dying for a dog.

And they're right downstairs.
Why don't you just meet them?

No, I don't want to meet them.

Balki, I don't think living in
an apartment is good for Suprides.

He's cooped up all
day. He can't get out.

He can't meet other
dogs. He can't date.

But we don't date and we're okay.

No?

Balki, forcing a dog to
live like us is inhuman.

I think he'll be
happier on a farm.

How could he be
happy without me?

Balki, I know this
is painful for you.

But I think maybe you're thinking more
about what's good for you...

...than what's good for him.

They have a farm?

With sheep.
- Sheep?

I think Suprides
would like sheep.

Can I get the Coopers?

Yes.

Did you hear that, Suprides?

Cousin Larry has found you a new home.
And he says you'll like it.

And Cousin Larry don't lie.

He says it's got a lot of trees,
and a meadow, and a brook...

...and a lot of children to play with,
and some sheep to chase...

...just like Couscous does on Mypos.

I don't want you to go.

But I didn't rescue you
from the prison truck...

...to keep you locked
in an apartment all day.

And I'll come to see you
so you don't forget me.

And maybe someday, I have a farm
and you can come to visit me...

...and run in my fields
and play with me...

...and nobody takes you away
from me ever again.

So if you like
the Coopers...

...and you want to go to
their farm and wait for me...

...then show me something.

Show me a sign and
then I'll be okay.

Oh, look. What
a beautiful dog.

Balki, this is Mrs. Cooper.

Hello, Balki.
- Hello.

Can we pet the dog?
- Of course you can.

Here, boy.
- Here, boy.

Well, Suprides
seems to like the kids.

Can we keep him, Mom? He's the
neatest dog in the whole worid.

Can we, please?

Well, Balki, it's up to you.

Well, that's up to Suprides.

Suprides, what do you say?

He says yes, so I say yes.

Oh, thank you.

You're welcome.

Now, you take
good care of him.

He likes to be
scratched right here. And...

...he likes sour-cream-and-onion
potato chips.

We'll take good care of him.

And you can come visit him
any time you want.

Thank you.

Bye-bye, Suprides.

Come on, kids. Let's go.
- Come on, boy. Come on, boy.

Thank you.
Thanks.

All right, come
on, come on. Goodbye.

I feel bad.

Well, I'm sorry we had to
give up Suprides too.

No.

I feel bad because
I'm a selfish person.

No, you're not.

When you realized what was
best for Suprides, you did it.

I'm proud of you.

You are?
- You bet I am.

Well, then, I feel better.

Cousin, someday can
we have a little pet?

Well, sure, I guess we could get
something like a hamster or a fish.

I want a fish.

Well, all right, one of these days,
we'll go to the pet store...

No, I want go today.
- No.

I want go today.
- We can't go today.

No, no, Balki.

All right, all right.

Okay.

We'll go today.
We'll get one fish.

And I get to name it.

Well, cousin, it's just the one fish?
He's going to get Ionely.

Two fish, that's it.

And you clean the bowl.

Can we get the little diver
with the bubbles?

No, we can't get
the diver with the bubbles.

Can we get that sticky stuff that...?
- No, you can't.

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