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1
00:00:06,063 --> 00:00:07,894
- Good evening, Liz.
- Hi, Dan.
2
00:00:08,632 --> 00:00:11,032
Saw you on the Perry Como special.
3
00:00:11,201 --> 00:00:13,192
Great.
4
00:00:16,740 --> 00:00:19,140
Hey, Carla B.,
how'd you like to see a trick?
5
00:00:19,309 --> 00:00:21,903
Sorry. It's my night off.
6
00:00:23,781 --> 00:00:26,341
Your Honor, we're ready to begin.
7
00:00:26,518 --> 00:00:29,487
I hold in my hand
an ordinary magic ball.
8
00:00:29,654 --> 00:00:33,385
I hold in my hand a caseload
that would choke a horse.
9
00:00:34,158 --> 00:00:37,491
- I put the ball in my hand like this.
- Yeah, we're really busy tonight...
10
00:00:37,662 --> 00:00:40,153
Now, watch.
Now, I shuffle up my hands.
11
00:00:40,331 --> 00:00:41,923
- I got a little headache too.
- Yeah.
12
00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:44,625
And then, you gotta guess
which hand is the ball in.
13
00:00:44,802 --> 00:00:46,827
- Your Honor, we're all set.
- Fine.
14
00:00:47,472 --> 00:00:49,167
- Which hand?
- Your Honor, I don't...
15
00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:53,504
Please guess, or we'll all grow
old and die here.
16
00:00:56,815 --> 00:00:58,476
- This one.
- Wrong.
17
00:00:59,051 --> 00:01:02,418
I can see it, you know,
kind of in between your fingers there.
18
00:01:02,588 --> 00:01:04,488
- Damn.
- We didn't see anything.
19
00:01:04,657 --> 00:01:07,353
- I didn't see it. It was perfect.
- I didn't see it.
20
00:01:07,927 --> 00:01:11,795
- Shall I call the first case, Your Honor?
- Ready when you are, CB.
21
00:01:16,268 --> 00:01:19,533
- Dan, it wasn't that funny.
- I know.
22
00:01:19,705 --> 00:01:22,037
- Bull.
- Right.
23
00:01:25,477 --> 00:01:28,503
Well, I think this fellow needs
no introduction.
24
00:01:28,681 --> 00:01:31,708
- Thanks, Harry.
- You remembered.
25
00:01:31,885 --> 00:01:34,445
- Anything else, Your Honor?
- No, thanks, Bull.
26
00:01:34,621 --> 00:01:37,021
- I was just doing my job.
- Oh, that's all right, son.
27
00:01:37,190 --> 00:01:40,819
Don't worry, and thanks again
for the nice letter.
28
00:01:42,329 --> 00:01:45,594
- Yeah.
- A John Doe, Your Honor.
29
00:01:45,765 --> 00:01:48,666
He refuses to give any other name
other than Santa Claus.
30
00:01:48,835 --> 00:01:50,996
The police are still checking
his fingerprints.
31
00:01:51,171 --> 00:01:53,196
- What's the charge?
- Trespassing, Your Honor.
32
00:01:53,373 --> 00:01:55,603
Security guards
at Redfield's department store...
33
00:01:55,775 --> 00:01:59,108
...found him and a couple of other
derelicts sleeping there after hours.
34
00:01:59,279 --> 00:02:03,079
Your Honor, I object to the prosecution
referring to my client as "derelict."
35
00:02:03,249 --> 00:02:08,711
All Santa had in his bag was a box
of Chiclets and a half-empty bottle of gin.
36
00:02:08,889 --> 00:02:12,552
Firing up the old yule log, eh, Mr. Claus?
37
00:02:13,294 --> 00:02:15,125
Well, sure, I had a couple of blasts.
38
00:02:15,296 --> 00:02:18,595
Always takes me a couple of weeks
to wind down after Christmas.
39
00:02:18,766 --> 00:02:22,133
But then, come March,
I'm back to work already.
40
00:02:22,303 --> 00:02:27,263
Production meetings,
toy conventions, zip codes to update.
41
00:02:27,875 --> 00:02:31,470
What's the matter? Can't your
little elves take some of the load off?
42
00:02:31,646 --> 00:02:35,605
Danny, there was some messy little
business with a doll when you were eight.
43
00:02:35,783 --> 00:02:38,446
Don't make me bring it up.
44
00:02:39,021 --> 00:02:40,249
Mr. Claus.
45
00:02:40,422 --> 00:02:42,014
Mr. Claus.
46
00:02:42,190 --> 00:02:46,092
I want you to know that when it comes
to fantasies, legends, myths...
47
00:02:46,261 --> 00:02:49,560
...I don't think there's anyone
in the world who believes more than I.
48
00:02:49,731 --> 00:02:51,164
Right, Mr. Fielding?
49
00:02:51,333 --> 00:02:53,699
You're a mythical kind of guy,
Your Honor.
50
00:02:53,869 --> 00:02:55,996
Right, but I'm also a judge.
51
00:02:56,171 --> 00:02:59,868
And as a judge, I think we could settle
this matter quickly and equitably...
52
00:03:00,042 --> 00:03:02,272
...if you would just give us
your real name.
53
00:03:02,444 --> 00:03:05,208
- Elizabeth.
- He's right. It would be easier.
54
00:03:05,380 --> 00:03:06,779
You're my defense attorney.
55
00:03:06,948 --> 00:03:11,180
- Don't you believe that I'm Santa Claus?
- Oh, I do. I mean, I would like to.
56
00:03:11,354 --> 00:03:15,120
- I really would.
- We all would. Believe me.
57
00:03:15,291 --> 00:03:20,126
But unfortunately that is part
of the price we paid for growing up.
58
00:03:20,296 --> 00:03:23,322
- The prisoner's status sheet, Your Honor.
- Thank you.
59
00:03:23,499 --> 00:03:25,296
Hi.
60
00:03:26,402 --> 00:03:28,427
- Hi.
- I'm Santa Claus.
61
00:03:28,604 --> 00:03:31,698
I'm the Easter Bunny. We'll have lunch.
62
00:04:15,152 --> 00:04:20,147
And believe me, boy,
Rudolph didn't like that one little bit.
63
00:04:21,993 --> 00:04:23,358
That's funny.
64
00:04:23,762 --> 00:04:26,458
Carla B., right?
65
00:04:26,965 --> 00:04:32,904
It's a fine line between
naughty and nice, isn't it?
66
00:04:33,438 --> 00:04:35,030
That's quite a group of admirers...
67
00:04:35,206 --> 00:04:36,696
...Santa has over there.
- Yeah.
68
00:04:36,875 --> 00:04:40,902
- Any more from the police on his identity?
- Not yet.
69
00:04:41,079 --> 00:04:42,876
He's a cute old guy though, isn't he?
70
00:04:43,047 --> 00:04:46,414
A right, jolly old elf, almost.
71
00:04:47,085 --> 00:04:50,054
It's funny, isn't it, how he seems
to know all of our names.
72
00:04:50,221 --> 00:04:51,449
Yeah, it is.
73
00:04:51,623 --> 00:04:53,216
- There are nameplates.
- Yeah, but...
74
00:04:53,392 --> 00:04:54,723
- And badges.
- Sure. However...
75
00:04:54,894 --> 00:04:56,987
Our names are published
in the daily calendar.
76
00:04:57,163 --> 00:04:58,630
Okay, okay.
77
00:04:58,898 --> 00:05:00,661
One more case before lunch,
Your Honor.
78
00:05:00,833 --> 00:05:03,927
- Well, then let's roll.
- Okay. Bring the kids in.
79
00:05:08,974 --> 00:05:11,943
- What have we got here?
- More unknowns I'm afraid, Your Honor.
80
00:05:12,111 --> 00:05:15,603
They were picked up for shoplifting
and refuse to give their names.
81
00:05:15,781 --> 00:05:17,373
Probably runaways.
82
00:05:18,117 --> 00:05:20,779
Hi. I'm Judge Stone. And you're?
83
00:05:20,953 --> 00:05:22,818
Batman.
84
00:05:24,323 --> 00:05:26,986
This is my old lady, Wonder Woman.
85
00:05:27,727 --> 00:05:30,787
Permission to smack him
around a little, Your Honor.
86
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:37,666
Denied, but the court sympathizes,
Mr. Prosecutor. What's the story?
87
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:41,035
They were apprehended leaving
a grocery store with unpurchased items.
88
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:46,840
He had a streusel in his pants,
and she had a blouse full of Fritos.
89
00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:50,779
Never occurred to you
to steal an entr�e, huh?
90
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:53,215
- Look, spare us the lectures, okay?
- Eddie.
91
00:05:53,386 --> 00:05:57,789
- What did I tell you about the name stuff?
- That's all I'm gonna tell him. Don't worry.
92
00:05:57,958 --> 00:06:01,395
- Eddie. Eddie what?
- Cleaver.
93
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:04,725
Perhaps you know my brothers,
Wally and the Beav.
94
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,226
Just a few minutes alone with him.
That's all.
95
00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:12,234
What is your name, young lady?
96
00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:16,298
- Mary.
- Enough with the names already.
97
00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:20,174
Just tell us your full names and where
you live, so we can contact your parents.
98
00:06:20,882 --> 00:06:23,407
Our parents don't care any more
about us than you do...
99
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,916
...so why don't we quit
wasting time and get on...
100
00:06:26,087 --> 00:06:29,454
Young man, you're in court,
and that's no way to talk to a judge.
101
00:06:29,624 --> 00:06:31,023
Eddie's right.
102
00:06:31,192 --> 00:06:34,185
Nobody cares about us except us...
103
00:06:34,363 --> 00:06:36,695
...and that's why we're getting married.
104
00:06:38,233 --> 00:06:41,259
You look a little young
to be getting married.
105
00:06:41,436 --> 00:06:44,564
You look a little young to be a judge.
106
00:06:46,108 --> 00:06:49,942
- Touch�, you little...
- Your Honor.
107
00:06:50,679 --> 00:06:53,079
The juvenile authorities
have been notified.
108
00:06:53,248 --> 00:06:55,716
I suggest we remand them over
to them for disposition.
109
00:06:55,884 --> 00:06:59,217
- Mr. Prosecutor.
- Uncle Dan has no objections.
110
00:07:00,923 --> 00:07:03,551
Fine. Then it is so ordered.
111
00:07:04,626 --> 00:07:06,491
Okay, you two.
112
00:07:07,730 --> 00:07:09,994
Have you ever seen The Munsters?
113
00:07:11,267 --> 00:07:14,862
That's right. Egg him on.
114
00:07:16,639 --> 00:07:18,539
That's dinner, everybody.
115
00:07:20,209 --> 00:07:22,302
You see, in Holland...
116
00:07:22,478 --> 00:07:24,639
...I leave the presents
in the children's shoes.
117
00:07:24,814 --> 00:07:28,375
- Well, there was this one kid...
- Hey. Hey, Santa Claus.
118
00:07:28,551 --> 00:07:31,577
Why don't you tell us what it's like
up in the North Pole there.
119
00:07:31,754 --> 00:07:36,453
Bet you freeze your
sleigh bells off at night, right?
120
00:07:36,626 --> 00:07:38,651
- He's a worm.
- He's a kid.
121
00:07:38,828 --> 00:07:40,352
Someday he'll grow up.
122
00:07:40,530 --> 00:07:43,261
And be a large worm.
123
00:07:45,002 --> 00:07:48,438
Why are you so angry, young man?
124
00:07:48,973 --> 00:07:51,305
Me? I ain't angry.
125
00:07:51,475 --> 00:07:54,911
- Am I, sweetheart?
- Not to me you're not.
126
00:07:55,946 --> 00:07:58,141
What do you want me to do, gramps?
127
00:07:58,315 --> 00:08:00,977
Climb on your knee and tell you
what I want for Christmas?
128
00:08:01,151 --> 00:08:02,413
If you'd like.
129
00:08:03,454 --> 00:08:04,785
If I'd like?
130
00:08:04,955 --> 00:08:07,014
Hey, somebody get this
twinkie away from me.
131
00:08:07,191 --> 00:08:09,284
Hey! That'll be enough out of you.
132
00:08:09,460 --> 00:08:12,987
This is my courtroom and you
will treat people with respect.
133
00:08:13,163 --> 00:08:15,155
This nut thinks he's Santa Claus.
134
00:08:15,333 --> 00:08:17,233
Well, how do you know he isn't?
135
00:08:17,402 --> 00:08:20,269
I think I've seen this on
The Twilight Zone.
136
00:08:20,572 --> 00:08:22,938
Kids, maybe we got off
on the wrong foot earlier.
137
00:08:23,108 --> 00:08:25,508
You wanna have some fun?
Here. Here's a magic ball.
138
00:08:25,677 --> 00:08:30,910
Now, I put it in my hand,
and then I get some magic powder...
139
00:08:31,616 --> 00:08:33,777
...then I sprinkle it on the ball
and it's gone.
140
00:08:33,952 --> 00:08:36,284
Where'd the ball go?
141
00:08:38,823 --> 00:08:40,188
In your pocket.
142
00:08:41,393 --> 00:08:43,554
In your ear.
143
00:08:43,728 --> 00:08:46,891
Oh, judge, don't get angry at him.
He's not a bad boy.
144
00:08:47,065 --> 00:08:49,626
He's just a little frustrated,
that's all. Believe me...
145
00:08:49,802 --> 00:08:52,965
...l've seen it a million times before.
146
00:08:53,506 --> 00:08:57,909
Eddie, is he really Santa Claus?
147
00:08:58,077 --> 00:09:01,740
Oh, sure he is. Look, look.
He's got a red suit. He's got a beard.
148
00:09:01,914 --> 00:09:03,347
You need more proof than that?
149
00:09:03,516 --> 00:09:05,984
You know, it's all right
for you not to believe in me.
150
00:09:06,152 --> 00:09:12,318
It really is, because the important
thing is that I believe in you.
151
00:09:12,758 --> 00:09:16,694
- What is that supposed to mean?
- Well, it means I care.
152
00:09:16,862 --> 00:09:18,853
That's all.
153
00:09:19,031 --> 00:09:21,090
Oh, sure. How comforting!
154
00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,092
I can smell the booze on you from here.
155
00:09:24,638 --> 00:09:26,663
What am I supposed to do?
Jump up and down...
156
00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:29,502
...because some wino
in a red suit tells me he cares?
157
00:09:29,676 --> 00:09:32,372
- I do care!
- Maybe a game of charades would be fun.
158
00:09:32,546 --> 00:09:34,639
You can laugh at me all you want.
159
00:09:34,815 --> 00:09:38,080
All of you disbelievers
can laugh all you want!
160
00:09:38,251 --> 00:09:40,947
But don't tell me I don't care!
161
00:09:41,121 --> 00:09:44,887
Don't anybody ever tell me
I don't care!
162
00:09:45,926 --> 00:09:50,295
- What happened?
- Get back, people. Give him some air.
163
00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:52,625
It's all right. I'll be...
164
00:09:52,799 --> 00:09:54,994
I'll be fine.
165
00:09:56,304 --> 00:10:00,104
Listen, if I don't make it, tell...
166
00:10:01,075 --> 00:10:04,306
Tell Frosty goodbye.
167
00:10:06,214 --> 00:10:09,149
I'm just kidding. Get a doctor.
168
00:10:15,256 --> 00:10:17,156
Well.
169
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,725
Just let him rest awhile
and he should be all right.
170
00:10:19,894 --> 00:10:23,125
This kind of heart condition,
there's not much more you can do.
171
00:10:23,297 --> 00:10:25,094
- I told him.
- I'm sorry.
172
00:10:25,266 --> 00:10:28,292
It just sounds better coming
from him. Thanks, doc.
173
00:10:28,469 --> 00:10:31,200
- I'm glad you were in the building.
- Glad I could help.
174
00:10:31,373 --> 00:10:33,500
Take care, Santa.
175
00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:34,972
Say...
176
00:10:35,144 --> 00:10:38,079
...do you like that new putter
your wife got you for Christmas?
177
00:10:39,882 --> 00:10:41,782
Oh, yeah. It's great.
178
00:10:41,950 --> 00:10:43,918
Thanks.
179
00:10:48,056 --> 00:10:50,547
Now do you believe me, young man?
180
00:10:50,726 --> 00:10:53,889
He's a doctor. What else
is he gonna get for Christmas?
181
00:10:54,429 --> 00:10:55,919
Harry...
182
00:10:56,732 --> 00:10:59,428
...you know who I am now.
183
00:10:59,601 --> 00:11:01,432
Don't you?
184
00:11:05,074 --> 00:11:06,939
Let me show you a trick
with a red ball.
185
00:11:07,110 --> 00:11:08,702
Harry...
186
00:11:08,878 --> 00:11:12,006
...I am Santa Claus.
187
00:11:13,950 --> 00:11:17,579
- Okay. Okay, you're Santa Claus.
- No, I mean, the one...
188
00:11:17,754 --> 00:11:22,123
...the only, the true Santa Claus.
189
00:11:22,692 --> 00:11:26,992
If you mean the personification
of the spirit of Christmas...
190
00:11:27,163 --> 00:11:30,894
...then, yeah. I think you
and a couple of others do fit the bill.
191
00:11:31,067 --> 00:11:34,696
Now you're on the right track,
only there are no others.
192
00:11:34,871 --> 00:11:38,399
There's only one at a time,
and when his time has passed...
193
00:11:38,576 --> 00:11:41,909
...like mine almost is...
194
00:11:42,513 --> 00:11:45,311
...he passes it on.
195
00:11:46,617 --> 00:11:48,710
He passes what on?
196
00:11:48,886 --> 00:11:52,185
The power, the spirit.
197
00:11:52,356 --> 00:11:54,347
The door.
198
00:11:59,129 --> 00:12:01,689
- How is he?
- Spooky.
199
00:12:02,466 --> 00:12:05,867
Did I mention the ability to hear
the slightest sounds and read thoughts?
200
00:12:06,036 --> 00:12:08,869
No, you hadn't gotten to that part yet.
201
00:12:09,039 --> 00:12:10,530
Okay.
202
00:12:10,709 --> 00:12:13,303
What's going on?
What are you two talking about?
203
00:12:13,478 --> 00:12:17,278
I was telling the judge
about my search for a...
204
00:12:17,449 --> 00:12:19,440
...replacement.
205
00:12:19,618 --> 00:12:22,109
Replacement for what?
206
00:12:22,287 --> 00:12:24,016
- Harry.
- Right.
207
00:12:24,189 --> 00:12:27,056
You read minds. I forgot.
208
00:12:28,460 --> 00:12:30,257
Hey, you.
209
00:12:35,533 --> 00:12:38,058
Hey, me?
210
00:12:38,503 --> 00:12:40,164
Yeah.
211
00:12:40,338 --> 00:12:43,034
- How's the old man doing?
- I don't know.
212
00:12:43,508 --> 00:12:46,842
Sure, he's nuts and all, but I didn't
mean him no harm or nothing.
213
00:12:47,013 --> 00:12:49,243
No, of course not.
214
00:12:49,415 --> 00:12:53,749
Mister, what do you think we are,
animals or something?
215
00:12:53,919 --> 00:12:57,616
I have no proof,
if that's what you mean.
216
00:13:01,627 --> 00:13:04,357
Wanna have some fun?
217
00:13:05,431 --> 00:13:09,765
Go and tease Bull about his hair.
218
00:13:12,772 --> 00:13:15,502
He loves it, really.
219
00:13:20,047 --> 00:13:22,743
Your Honor, we got the identification
on the two runaways.
220
00:13:22,916 --> 00:13:26,181
- Police just sent this over.
- Well, there's one mystery unraveled.
221
00:13:26,353 --> 00:13:28,651
- Selma, go ask Bull to bring the kids in.
- Right.
222
00:13:28,822 --> 00:13:31,347
- There you go.
- Harry, may I have that?
223
00:13:31,525 --> 00:13:33,789
- Why?
- I just thought, you see...
224
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:37,225
...if those kids don't know
about that report...
225
00:13:37,397 --> 00:13:41,834
...and I still manage
to know their identities...
226
00:13:42,002 --> 00:13:43,993
Then they might believe
in Santa Claus.
227
00:13:44,171 --> 00:13:46,901
They might believe in something.
That'd be a start.
228
00:13:47,074 --> 00:13:49,474
And it'd make a sick,
old man happy.
229
00:13:49,643 --> 00:13:54,047
Come on, judge. Just to see the look
on their faces would be worth it.
230
00:13:54,215 --> 00:13:57,412
Oh, come on, Harry. It'll be so cute.
231
00:13:58,586 --> 00:14:01,749
Cute? Gee willikers, I'm all for it.
232
00:14:05,593 --> 00:14:07,322
Here you go, Your Honor.
233
00:14:07,862 --> 00:14:12,629
- What's going on here?
- Is this where we get the rubber hoses?
234
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,894
I told you I was just kidding about that.
235
00:14:16,838 --> 00:14:18,965
We thought we'd give
you kids another chance...
236
00:14:19,140 --> 00:14:22,132
...to give us your full names
and tell us where you live.
237
00:14:22,310 --> 00:14:23,572
No way.
238
00:14:23,745 --> 00:14:26,909
Like we said, our parents
couldn't care less where we are.
239
00:14:27,082 --> 00:14:28,549
That's not true...
240
00:14:28,717 --> 00:14:31,242
...Mary Elaine Montgomery.
241
00:14:33,088 --> 00:14:35,989
- How did you know my name?
- A lot of things I know about you.
242
00:14:36,158 --> 00:14:39,355
For example, I know
that your mom and dad...
243
00:14:39,528 --> 00:14:41,519
...Art and Celeste...
244
00:14:41,697 --> 00:14:44,689
...miss you very much
and want you back home.
245
00:14:44,867 --> 00:14:46,494
- You told him.
- I did not.
246
00:14:46,668 --> 00:14:50,297
She didn't say a word, Eddie Simms.
247
00:14:51,106 --> 00:14:53,973
- You know who I am?
- 3rd and 84th, apartment 6C.
248
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:56,611
That Eddie Simms.
249
00:14:56,779 --> 00:15:00,216
Yeah. Well, if you know that,
then you know the people who live there...
250
00:15:00,383 --> 00:15:03,944
...and call themselves my parents
don't give a damn if I come home or not.
251
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:07,954
Eddie, I know it appears that way
right now, but believe me...
252
00:15:08,124 --> 00:15:09,455
...it's not true.
253
00:15:09,626 --> 00:15:11,890
- Yeah? How do you know?
- How did I know your name?
254
00:15:12,061 --> 00:15:13,824
How did I know your address?
255
00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:17,262
How do I know the names and addresses
of every man, woman and child...
256
00:15:17,434 --> 00:15:18,992
...in the whole world?
257
00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:24,971
How do I know that
your secret desire is to be loved...
258
00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:26,870
...to be hugged...
259
00:15:27,043 --> 00:15:28,670
...to be held...
260
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,369
...to be cared for?
261
00:15:32,483 --> 00:15:34,417
That's crazy.
262
00:15:34,919 --> 00:15:36,682
It's true, Eddie.
263
00:15:36,854 --> 00:15:38,549
You know it.
264
00:15:39,123 --> 00:15:40,852
You told me.
265
00:15:41,025 --> 00:15:44,483
Yeah, well, what if it is?
How do you know all that anyway?
266
00:15:44,662 --> 00:15:48,120
How do you know what goes on
in other people's heads?
267
00:15:48,666 --> 00:15:50,725
Because I'm Santa Claus.
268
00:15:54,171 --> 00:15:58,198
- Judge Harold T. Stone?
- I'm Judge Stone.
269
00:15:58,375 --> 00:16:01,071
Dr. Peter Green,
Winwood Psychiatric Center.
270
00:16:01,245 --> 00:16:03,941
- The police told me I'd find John here.
- John?
271
00:16:04,114 --> 00:16:07,107
John Stevens,
the man in the red flannel suit.
272
00:16:07,853 --> 00:16:10,344
Oh, that John Stevens.
273
00:16:10,522 --> 00:16:14,583
- Dr. Green, what a surprise.
- Hello, John.
274
00:16:14,759 --> 00:16:18,058
I feel fortunate. We usually don't
catch him this soon after Christmas.
275
00:16:18,230 --> 00:16:19,561
- You don't?
- No, every year...
276
00:16:19,731 --> 00:16:22,222
...he disappears just before Christmas.
277
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:26,063
Usually manages to elude us
till about the first of February.
278
00:16:26,238 --> 00:16:29,537
- You mean this guy's a fruitcake?
- Bull.
279
00:16:29,708 --> 00:16:32,404
I'm sorry. Alleged fruitcake?
280
00:16:34,179 --> 00:16:37,376
Well, what do you know?
281
00:16:37,549 --> 00:16:40,542
Another adult who lies about things.
282
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:44,451
- My, my, Santa, am I ever surprised.
- Eddie, don't. He's sick.
283
00:16:44,624 --> 00:16:46,285
I know he's sick!
284
00:16:46,459 --> 00:16:48,427
I'm sick too.
285
00:16:48,594 --> 00:16:51,586
- You wanna hear something crazy?
- It's my job.
286
00:16:53,866 --> 00:16:56,630
I actually started listening
to this old coot.
287
00:16:56,802 --> 00:16:58,827
For a minute there,
I actually believed him.
288
00:16:59,005 --> 00:17:01,405
Me, Eddie Simms,
actually believed in Santa Claus.
289
00:17:01,574 --> 00:17:03,769
- Eddie...
- You're a phony, old man.
290
00:17:03,943 --> 00:17:05,570
You're a fake.
291
00:17:05,745 --> 00:17:08,441
Other people just tell lies.
You live them.
292
00:17:11,517 --> 00:17:13,144
You apologize to him.
293
00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:15,288
- What?
- I said, apologize to him!
294
00:17:15,455 --> 00:17:17,616
- For what?!
- Are you that stupid?
295
00:17:17,791 --> 00:17:20,259
I ain't saying nothing
without my attorney present.
296
00:17:20,427 --> 00:17:22,258
She's here.
297
00:17:23,363 --> 00:17:25,888
Tell him if you're stupid or not.
298
00:17:27,134 --> 00:17:28,658
That man cares for you, Eddie.
299
00:17:29,069 --> 00:17:32,004
He cares enough to take the time,
to risk his health...
300
00:17:32,172 --> 00:17:35,733
...to risk ridicule just to show you that.
301
00:17:35,909 --> 00:17:38,309
- Yeah, well, nobody asked him.
- Feels good, don't it?
302
00:17:38,478 --> 00:17:40,412
Not having to ask?
303
00:17:40,581 --> 00:17:42,708
What do you want?
You want me to say thank you?
304
00:17:42,883 --> 00:17:46,148
Okay, fine. Thank you, Santa.
Thank you. Thanks for caring.
305
00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:50,451
- Sorry, it didn't work out. Maybe next year.
- What's the point?
306
00:17:50,625 --> 00:17:52,217
Remember...
307
00:17:52,393 --> 00:17:54,156
Remember when you were 5...
308
00:17:54,329 --> 00:17:57,389
...and you were sick, and your mom
had to hold you down...
309
00:17:57,565 --> 00:18:00,033
...to get the medicine in?
310
00:18:04,539 --> 00:18:07,269
Okay, you thick-skulled,
empty-headed little creep.
311
00:18:07,442 --> 00:18:11,435
He cares for you.
Mary cares for you. I care for you.
312
00:18:11,613 --> 00:18:16,312
You are in the middle of a room
full of people that care for you.
313
00:18:16,484 --> 00:18:19,180
- Bull.
- Yeah?
314
00:18:20,856 --> 00:18:24,087
You know, I am sick of hearing
how everybody cares for me.
315
00:18:24,259 --> 00:18:26,955
I am sick of hearing the word "care"!
316
00:18:27,129 --> 00:18:30,587
It is just talk!
That's all it is! It's just talk.
317
00:18:30,766 --> 00:18:33,132
- Just talk! What are you doing?
- Come here.
318
00:18:33,302 --> 00:18:35,600
- Let me go!
- Stop squirming.
319
00:18:35,771 --> 00:18:37,966
- What are you doing?
- I'm hugging you, dummy.
320
00:18:38,140 --> 00:18:41,007
- Let go of me. Stop. Please, stop it.
- Shut up.
321
00:18:41,176 --> 00:18:43,440
- Shut up.
- Please.
322
00:18:43,612 --> 00:18:45,671
Shut up.
323
00:18:50,786 --> 00:18:53,550
I don't understand what happened.
324
00:18:54,724 --> 00:18:57,215
- Transference.
- What?
325
00:18:57,394 --> 00:19:00,420
The object of the patient's anger
is transferred to the analyst...
326
00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:03,760
...which creates a cathartic condition
as well as fertile ground...
327
00:19:03,933 --> 00:19:07,460
...for ratiocination and self-communion.
328
00:19:07,637 --> 00:19:09,264
Yeah.
329
00:19:10,206 --> 00:19:12,367
That's what I thought.
330
00:19:15,345 --> 00:19:17,370
I'm sorry for crinkling your robe.
331
00:19:17,547 --> 00:19:20,448
Hey, two minutes in a dryer,
good as new.
332
00:19:24,387 --> 00:19:28,085
- Eddie, are you all right?
- Yeah.
333
00:19:28,259 --> 00:19:29,658
Yeah, I'm okay.
334
00:19:29,827 --> 00:19:32,352
I feel a little stupid.
335
00:19:32,997 --> 00:19:36,160
And better. Please, no more rough stuff.
336
00:19:37,768 --> 00:19:40,566
Come on, John. Let's go.
I've got a car waiting.
337
00:19:40,738 --> 00:19:42,603
This'll show my right
to guardianship...
338
00:19:42,773 --> 00:19:44,798
...in case of any question
about the charges.
339
00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:47,739
I'll remand him into your
custody now, doctor.
340
00:19:47,912 --> 00:19:50,710
I'm sure the charges will be dropped
under the circumstances.
341
00:19:50,881 --> 00:19:52,348
Ready, John?
342
00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:58,182
- Goodbye, Harry.
- Goodbye.
343
00:19:59,190 --> 00:20:03,025
You really believe
you're Santa Claus, don't you?
344
00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:07,127
Oh, I believe this is yours, isn't it?
345
00:20:10,235 --> 00:20:12,430
- Lana.
- A pleasure.
346
00:20:12,604 --> 00:20:14,265
Bull.
347
00:20:15,307 --> 00:20:17,207
Thank you, Elizabeth.
348
00:20:17,375 --> 00:20:18,842
Hey...
349
00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:22,343
...about what I said before.
- Oh, don't worry.
350
00:20:22,514 --> 00:20:25,176
I didn't believe you either.
351
00:20:29,387 --> 00:20:31,184
Wait a minute.
352
00:20:31,356 --> 00:20:34,621
How did you know our names
and where we lived and all that other stuff?
353
00:20:34,793 --> 00:20:39,197
We got a report from the police
missing persons department.
354
00:20:39,365 --> 00:20:41,356
It arrived before you got here.
355
00:20:41,534 --> 00:20:43,229
See.
356
00:20:43,903 --> 00:20:48,602
"Missing since Friday,
Ben Kurasawa, age 13...
357
00:20:48,775 --> 00:20:51,938
...and Nancy Tanaka, age 12."
358
00:20:52,111 --> 00:20:55,274
Harry, about my proposition...
359
00:20:56,682 --> 00:20:58,843
Think it over.
360
00:21:17,371 --> 00:21:21,307
More banana brandy, anyone?
361
00:21:22,309 --> 00:21:25,642
It came in that Christmas basket
with the stuff you've been munching on.
362
00:21:25,813 --> 00:21:29,078
The candied oysters were good.
363
00:21:31,451 --> 00:21:35,285
- Strange day, huh?
- Yeah.
364
00:21:35,789 --> 00:21:39,316
I'm sure there must
be an explanation for everything.
365
00:21:39,493 --> 00:21:41,427
Oh, I'm sure there must be.
366
00:21:41,595 --> 00:21:43,530
Like what?
367
00:21:44,032 --> 00:21:46,523
He overheard some policemen
talking, perhaps.
368
00:21:47,235 --> 00:21:48,463
Yeah.
369
00:21:48,636 --> 00:21:51,366
Or he picked up the phone
when we weren't looking...
370
00:21:51,539 --> 00:21:55,339
...disguised his voice,
took down the information...
371
00:21:55,510 --> 00:22:01,415
...replaced the receiver without
us noticing, and we were none the wiser.
372
00:22:03,351 --> 00:22:05,615
You will always be...
373
00:22:05,787 --> 00:22:08,620
...none the wiser.
374
00:22:15,630 --> 00:22:17,826
It's open. Come on in.
375
00:22:18,968 --> 00:22:21,528
I said, come in. It's open.
376
00:22:42,458 --> 00:22:46,121
Hey, guys. Come here.
Look at this! Look at this!
377
00:22:46,929 --> 00:22:48,692
There!
378
00:22:54,304 --> 00:22:56,772
- It's Selma.
- That'd be my guess.
379
00:22:56,940 --> 00:23:00,501
- Did you see something weird in the hall?
- I'll say.
380
00:23:07,450 --> 00:23:11,250
If you think I'm cleaning that up,
you're crazy.
381
00:23:11,300 --> 00:23:15,850
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