All language subtitles for Night Court s01e01 All You Need is Love.eng

The judge will be here any minute.
Are you finished painting?

Yeah.

Well, then what are you doing?

I'm watching a naked couple in the building
across the alley. They're fooling around.

That's depraved.

Too soon to tell.

I meant you.

How would you like somebody
watching you and your wife doing that?

My wife wouldn't do that.

Out.

-How are you?
-God, I was so close.

-Hi, Bull. Any sign of the new judge?
-Not yet.

Say Lana, what's this guy
supposed to be like?

I don't know.

Our ex-major just filled
all the vacancies on the court on his last day in office.

Nobody knows who was appointed
or where they were assigned.

I think that's mercurial.

Did you say "mercurial"?

I'm trying to make up
for my lack of education.

So every month I pick a word
at random out of the dictionary

and use it all that month.

My! How…

Minimifidian?

Is that a real word?

Does a bear extravasate
in the forest?

What?

No.

Tell the judge the major called.

Bye, Bull.

Hello.

Is that stuff for the judge?

Yeah.

And what is it?

It looks like junk to me.

Well, stick it over in the corner.

Right.

My name is Harry.

So?

I get your drift.

-Is he here yet?
-Not yet, Sheila.

-Good evening, Daniel.
-Good evening.

Do I look all right?

You look fine, Sheila.

-Doesn't she, Dan?
-Yeah, swell.

Anything at all?

"Nada".
I was just told to expect him tonight.

He's got a background
in criminal law.

I hope he plays chess.

A new man has been
appointed to the bench

and all that you hope for
is someone who can play chess.

I also hope his first name
is not Chucky.

-Package for judge Stone.
-He's not here.

Great view!

What are you doing up there?
I'm watching this guy trying to…

Get off of there.

The judge has to sign
for this himself.

I said he is not here.

Oh, yes, he is.

What?

You don't mean…

You are judge
Harold T. Stone?

Yeah.

You are really a judge?

Listen, if I weren't the judge,
could I do this?

-In his office?
-No. I guess not.

There you go.

Thanks.
Sorry, I don't tip.

Besides, how do I know
you're not the type

to go out and spend it
on a Barry Manilow album?

Cover me.

Judge Stone.

Dan Fielding.
Assistant District Attorney.

Nice to meet you.

I'm Sheila Gardiner.
Attorney with legal aid.

Pleasure is mine.

I'm Lana Wagner.
Your court clerk.

Couldn't you just die?

Pay no attention
to the gossip.

On you they look good.

I don't know
what's holding the judge up.

Diaper change, perhaps.

All rise.

Criminal court's
part two, city New York is now in session.

The honorable

Harold T. Stone presiding.

Gotcha!

Your honor…

I've always wanted
to see that happen.

Your honor, far be it from me
to advise what matters…

-Where's my gavel?
-I beg your pardon?

-That little hammer thing?
-Yes, I know what it is.

Ladies and gentleman,
off the court.

Well, how the hell
are you tonight?

So, the first case…

Harry? Is that you?

Hacksaw?
Come on down.

He has a friend
named Hacksaw?

Blacky and Lefty
must be caught in traffic.

-Hacksaw, how are you doing?
-Well, you know.

Three card monte again, huh?

Guilty as seen, your honor.

Ms. Wagner, prepare the file
on Hamming Lener G.

Sir, that's not the first case…

Ms. Gardiner, your client's
pleading guilty to a misdemeanor.

-Be right there.
-That'll cost you 50 bucks, Hacksaw.

-What's the fine?
-50 bucks.

-Thank you.
-My pleasure.

-Here's the file.
-Case closed!

Good to see you, Hacksaw,
really good.

You too, Har.

That was quick.
What's next?

-I hate you!
-Well, I hate you more!

We'll talk later.

Your whole family is crazy.
Their chromosomes aren't normal.

And they all look like sleekies.

You leave my family
out of this, you…

Let's put a lid
on this assiduousness.

State vs. Kerr, your honor.
Your honor, this case has some…

Let's all gather
around the big desk.

This case has some
intricate facets…

Can you give it to me
in a nutshell?

Husband and wife
married 27 years.

She catches him
with a prostitute,

fires a couple of shots,
misses them both by a mile,

so the DA files
for attempted murder.

-This could go either way.
-Yes.

-Unless…
-What?

No, I guess
it's got to go either way.

-Your honor…
-Hi.

Hi.

-Phillip Kerr?
-Yes, sir.

-Louise Kerr?
-Here.

Carla Buvoir?

They call me Carla B.,
your honor.

I'm probably down there for alleged
solicitation of prostitution or something.

Right you are.

Your honor, may I?

Mr. prosecutor,
Miss Gardiner,

I am prepared to listen
to the testimony,

cross-examine the witnesses,

consider the precedence,
that I'm sure you both prepared,

but I don't think
that's gonna be necessary.

What do you mean,
it's not necessary?

Glad you asked.

We will now take
a short recess.

During that time I order
the defendant, Ms. Kerr,

and her husband, Mr. Kerr
and the attorneys involved

to go to a
nearby restaurant.

Sit down,
have a cup of coffee,

relax, try to work out
this little thing.

Your honor,
this is highly irregular.

Thanks.

Court's recessed.

I cannot work with that man.
He is disrupting my court!

There isn't much
we can do.

What does that mean?

A judicial review board
takes months, sometimes even years

to investigate a suspect judge.

And then they're usually only given
an official reprimand.

It is virtually impossible
to remove a sitting judge from the bench.

So what you're saying is…

We have to kill him.

Sir, I have to speak with you.

Lana, good to see you.
Come over here.

Your honor, I feel that it's my duty
to discuss with you your behavior…

Pick a card.

Sir, I have
urgent business to discuss.

You can talk while you're doing this.
Come on.

Now, what's on your mind?

Judge Stone, I think
your actions on the court case

were impulsive, unorthodox
and totally irresponsible.

My god, they're at it again?

Your honor!

-Come on, call me Harry.
-I don't think I can.

Yeah, my baby brother
had trouble pronouncing it too.

Used to come out "Ha wee"

Call me "Ha wee"

You're crazy.

I mean, an attempt of murder
and you send the plaintiff

and the defendant
out for a cup of coffee?

What do murderers get, brunch?

All right, my methods are informal.

Give them a chance.
They might work.

Maybe, just maybe,
it'll work.

And again,
maybe someday pigs will fly.

Oh, my God. Sheila, Dan,
are you all right?

What happened?

You wanna know what happened?

I'll tell you what happened.

No settlement with the Kerrs.

It must have been awful.

I loved my shirt.

I really thought it would work.

I'm sorry, I really am
but it was predictable.

Yeah, maybe it was.

You're a tarantula.

You've never used language
like that to me before!

You never tried
to shoot me before.

Pipe down or I'm gonna turn Bull loose
to kick some butt.

Try to look menacing.

Good.

All right, everybody sit down.

I thought I sent you two away
to work this thing out.

I tried to work things out with her
but she won't have none of it.

That's a damn lie.

Don't forget,
Phil is the one that was shot at.

All right, I want no more shouting
from the gallery.

Do I make myself clear?

Yes, the man in the back
in the bath robe.

Are oo's and oh's okay?

They're fine.

Thank you.

Have we started?

Could I have
the Kerr file, please?

All right.

Listen up, folks.

It seems that
there are those

who feel that I am not fit
to be a judge.

It seems that there are those
who think I'm crazy.

Well, frankly,
I just don't know.

Ms. Wagner,
what's that behind your ear?

It's a coin!

My, is the coin of justice.

Sir, I don't think
you're feeling very well.

I'll tell you what.
Let's flip the coin. Let it decide.

Heads, I stay a judge,
tails, I resign.

Heads, I'm still a judge.

I'm going for an ambulance.

Take a sit, Ms. Wagner.

Now, Phil.

You've been married 27 years.
Is that right?

Yes, sir.

27 years. Gee.
It must have been a living hell.

Oh, well, there was okay times.

Early on.

Let me guess.

You two haven't had that much
to say to each other recently.

Romance has sort of been replaced
by a really good night sleep?

And so he goes to
the other woman.

It's a living.

Crime?
Solicitation.

Heads, I just fine you,
tails, you go to jail.

Heads again,
it's your lucky day.

Could be yours too.

I can appreciate that.

I must protest for the record.

Mr. Fielding,
did you have a happy childhood?

What?

Was it happy? I mean,
did you laugh a lot as a youngster?

-I don't want to answer.
-I don't wanna fine you for contempt.

-I didn't laugh a lot.
-Thank you.

Does anybody understand
what I'm saying here?

Does anyone understand
what I'm trying to do here?

Ms. Wagner.

Sheila.

Bull.

I don't know.
What the hell's going on?

I'm just talking, folks.
You get it?

I'm talking.

You talk to people.

You talk to find out
about them.

Maybe you reveal a little bit
about yourself in the process.

But the main thing is
you get to know them.

You go inside their head.

You find out
what their dreams are,

what their hopes are.

Are there any English
speaking people here tonight?

All right then.
Let's flip the coin again.

Let's decide the Kerr case.

The defense wants heads,
your honor.

I'm sorry.
I don't know what I'm saying.

Here it is.

Heads, I send Louise
to jail for 7 years,

Tails, we let her go.

Phil, was there anything you wanted
to say to your wife before I flip?

7 years?

Good luck, Louise.

You know, it was your own fault
for trying to shoot me.

Shoot? I fired straight up in the air.

Did you think I would take a chance
on hurting you?

Is that true, Louise?

You think I __

and a gallbladder operation
just to have fill him full of lead?

You mean, you weren't
trying to hurt me?

Louise, I…

Say it, Phil, say it.

I love you, Louise.

And I love you, Phil.

Then what are we doing here?

Phil, can we forget
this whole thing?

I'd like to,
I really would.

Phil, one more flip.

Heads, we send her up the river,
tails, you take her home.

No. Every time you flip
__ comes up heads.

Of course it does.
It's a double headed coin.

Oh, come on.

You didn't think
I believed in luck, did you?

By the power invested in me
by the state of New York

I pronounce you

a little better off than
you were when you came in.

I had a husband just like that.

Oh, yeah?

I had to shoot him too.

Will the counsels
approach the bench, please?

Well, I'm beat.
How about you, guys?

I'll do anything you want.

Terrific. You guys sorted out.

I'm gonna go to my chambers
and do some judge stuff.

-Any questions?
-Just one.

How did you get appointed
to the bench?

You know, Dan,
that's a funny story.

It was the major's
last day in office.

And it was a Sunday.

And my name was at the bottom of a list
of a thousand candidates.

So they start calling folks,
starting at the top of the list.

But you see, it's Sunday
so no one's home.

So they keep calling down the list
name by name. No one answers.

Finally they get down
to the bottom of the list and voilà.

You mean you were appointed
to judge because…

I was home.

There'll be a 10 minute recess.
Pass it on.

Your honor.

Your honor.

I own every record
Mel Tormé ever made.

I'm gonna marry the girl
that is impressed by that.

I beg your pardon?

You're about to say?

Oh, yes.
They're ready to lock up now.

Fine.

By the way, thanks a lot for being
patient with me tonight.

I am new here, you know.

Yeah, we noticed.

You know, my name was at the bottom
of that list of prospective judges

because I haven't had
much experience really.

But every candidate does go through
a thorough screening process

and whatever anybody thinks
of that list, I was on it.

Good night, Ms. Wagner.

What you did out here tonight

was beautiful.

Oh, in a bohemian sort of way.

No, I mean it.

You saved that marriage.

And the 27 years of love
and memories.

and fulfillment
to go along with it.

Sometimes I get lucky.
Good night.

About my job…

Give me one more chance, huh?

It would be an honor
to call you Harry.

Then it's fortunate
I have that name.

Subtitles by Héctor Lahoz

Repair and Synchronization by
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