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1
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Hey, hey, stop!
2
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- What was that? - The atomic claw.
3
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Whoo!
4
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That is not a martial arts move.
5
00:00:24,914 --> 00:00:26,976
It's an appetizer at the lobster barn.
6
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It's a pro wrestling move, dude. You know who uses it?
7
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I'm gonna take a wild guess and go with the wrestler
8
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Called the atomic claw.
9
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You know wrestling's fake, right?
10
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Whoa whoa whoa.
11
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There is nothing fake about the claw's claw, okay?
12
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It's 100% bionic
13
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With robotic titanium fingers that can crush a man's skull.
14
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It's a catcher's mitt wrapped in aluminum foil.
15
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So I guess you guys
16
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aren't going to the wrestle frenzy this weekend.
17
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- Of course we're going. - We wouldn't miss it.
18
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Can we get back to sparring?
19
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- Let's go. - All right, you ready?
20
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Go! Nice.
21
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Whoa!
22
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What are you doing? Stop!
23
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That is crossing the line, dude.
24
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You do not touch another man's ears. Ever.
25
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What are you guys doing?
26
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He gave me the atomic claw so I gave him the Russian lobe lock.
27
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So I go into my office for 10 minutes,
28
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and you guys just goof off?
29
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Sorry, Rudy.
30
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We're just pumped about wrestle frenzy coming to town.
31
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What is it with you kids and this wrestling stuff?
32
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If I wanted to see giant sweaty freaks pounding on each other,
33
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I'd go home for thanksgiving.
34
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I don't need this today.
35
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- What happened? - I don't know.
36
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Let me see. My cat needs feline braces,
37
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And I had to help my mother's man friend
38
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Because his nose was stuck in a bowling ball.
39
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How do you get--
40
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By playing a game called "I bet I can fit my nose in that."
41
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Don't you get all tough with me
42
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That's just how we do
43
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And no matter how much I chop and punch
44
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It's not as cool as kickin' it with you
45
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Here we go, let's start the party
46
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Chop it up like it's karate
47
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Everybody
48
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Don't you get all tough with me
49
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I'm saying won't you come kick it with me?
50
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And we could have a ball, run up the wall
51
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That's just how we do
52
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And no matter how much I chop and punch
53
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It's not as cool as kickin' it with you
54
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I loved the museum.
55
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But the prehistoric display was lame.
56
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You could tell the cavemen were just department store mannequins.
57
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That explains why the Neanderthals were wearing high heels.
58
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Holding hands with you at the museum is nice.
59
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About that, I was thinking it's time for us
60
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To go to the next level.
61
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I think we're doing good.
62
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And my friend Annie told me the next level is scary at first,
63
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But then it's really fun.
64
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Yeah, that's-- oh, boy.
65
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Am I late for my dentist thing.
66
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I got-- bye.
67
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- Oh, excuse me. - Milton?
68
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Milton!
69
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Excuse me. I was here before you.
70
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Now you're after me, pipsqueak.
71
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Hey, buddy,
72
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I'm kind of having a tough day. I just wanna get my food,
73
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Go home, put my cat in his headgear
74
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And keep an eye on my mom's boyfriend's nose.
75
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- It's a life. - Hey, you know what--
76
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You just made a big mistake, man.
77
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Rudy, what happened?
78
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I don't know. I just lost it.
79
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He shoved me and called me a pipsqueak.
80
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Don't worry, Rudy. You're not alone.
81
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My pip squeaks, too.
82
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I'm not talking about my pip with you.
83
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Dude, the next level.
84
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She's talking about kissing, bro.
85
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I can't. I'm not ready.
86
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It's not that big a deal.
87
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You just have to relax and let nature take over.
88
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How do you know? The only thing you ever planted one on
89
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was the punching dummy at the dojo.
90
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And I relaxed
91
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and let nature take over.
92
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Milton, dude.
93
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Your first one's important, man.
94
00:05:03,756 --> 00:05:07,024
Well, it's not technically my first one.
95
00:05:07,059 --> 00:05:09,794
Thanks for coming to my birthday party, Cindy.
96
00:05:09,828 --> 00:05:12,729
So I guess I'll see you around.
97
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Aunt Gerty.
98
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Happy birthday, darling.
99
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See you next year.
100
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Oh, he kissed me right on the mouth!
101
00:05:36,653 --> 00:05:38,822
No, it wasn't like that. You turned into it, and I missed.
102
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You're a twisted little boy!
103
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The whole thing was horrible.
104
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I tasted her lipstick and cough drops for three weeks.
105
00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:49,730
Guys, you are not gonna believe this.
106
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That wrestler Mondo Mountain is in town.
107
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He was in Falafel Phil's and apparently, he met Rudy.
108
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Get out of here!
109
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Whoa!
110
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Rudy says martial arts is for confidence, discipline and honor.
111
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But as it turns out,
112
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It's also good for beating down fools.
113
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What's a guy gotta do to get some up top around here?
114
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Rudy Rudy Rudy, you have well over three million hits.
115
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I can't believe it. That's more than "Man kisses goat."
116
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Hey, I didn't kiss her. She needed mouth-to-mouth.
117
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Rudy, why didn't you tell us you took down the Mountain?
118
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Your video's all over the internet.
119
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Yeah, Rudy, you're famous.
120
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I know. Today, a woman asked me to sign her baby.
121
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Do you know how much that thing is worth now?
122
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That's me. Hello.
123
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Rudy, I wasn't there,
124
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But you've always taught us not
125
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to use martial arts unless you absolutely have to.
126
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No, I had to. That giant jerk cut in front of me.
127
00:06:59,972 --> 00:07:03,008
So what you're saying is sometimes you have to take a stand?
128
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Yes, but I just didn't take a stand for myself.
129
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I was taking a stand for
130
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every little guy that's ever been pushed around by a fat cat or a bigwig
131
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or a big fat cat in a wig or a cat with--
132
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Yes, yes, he'll do it.
133
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Rowdy rudy will fight Mondo Mountain.
134
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Okay, ciao, baby.
135
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- So you guys need more hummus or anything? - Phil!
136
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What did you just do?
137
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I called the wrestle frenzy people
138
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And told them that you wanted to get into the ring with the mondo.
139
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What? I am not a pro wrestler.
140
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Don't worry. It's just a show.
141
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They want you to win.
142
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They want to see the mighty mouse once again take down the elephant.
143
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Phil, Phil,
144
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I don't crave the spotlight.
145
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I'm but a simple man who lives a quiet life.
146
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- I don't seek fame-- - They say that they will pay you $5,000.
147
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Mondo's going down, baby!
148
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Julie, you know the other day in Falafel Phil's
149
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When you told me you wanted to go to the next level?
150
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Yeah, I'm excited.
151
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Okay.
152
00:08:14,647 --> 00:08:17,549
Well, it's obviously very important to you,
153
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So I think we should do it.
154
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Just close your eyes as I prepare myself.
155
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Uh...
156
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Just do it. It's for the best.
157
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You're a twisted little boy!
158
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Gerty, no!
159
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Milton, who's Gerty?
160
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Step right up.
161
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Who wants to get flipped by Rowdy Rudy,
162
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The internet sensation?
163
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Ugh!
164
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- There you go. - Rudy, I need to talk to you.
165
00:09:05,731 --> 00:09:07,698
Kim, I'm kind of in the middle
166
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of throwing people around for money here.
167
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Fine.
168
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I just thought I'd let you know
169
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Jack's gonna miss class today because he's in detention.
170
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What? Why?
171
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He got into a fight with a kid at school and flipped him,
172
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Just like you did to Mondo.
173
00:09:22,849 --> 00:09:25,851
What? I told you guys to never fight at school.
174
00:09:25,885 --> 00:09:28,587
Yeah, well, the kids are saying he went "all Rudy" On him.
175
00:09:28,621 --> 00:09:32,725
Wait, so now "going all Rudy" Means you beat someone up?
176
00:09:32,759 --> 00:09:34,793
Yeah, what did it used to mean?
177
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You know, losing your gym shorts during a volleyball match.
178
00:09:42,792 --> 00:09:46,629
Jack, where did you get the idea that I think violence is okay?
179
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I don't know, "Rowdy Rudy."
180
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What?
181
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I'm just choosing a costume for Wrestle Frenzy.
182
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Look, I tell you guys all the time
183
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It's never okay to fight in school.
184
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I saw a big guy picking on a nerd so I gave him a little shove.
185
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- Did he hit the guy? - No, but he kicked over his tuba case.
186
00:10:04,815 --> 00:10:07,550
So that made it okay for you to shove him?
187
00:10:07,584 --> 00:10:10,653
Rudy, I was just taking a stand like you did with Mondo.
188
00:10:10,687 --> 00:10:13,422
No, your situation is completely different.
189
00:10:13,457 --> 00:10:15,558
Yeah, you're right.
190
00:10:15,592 --> 00:10:17,693
I was protecting someone that really needed help.
191
00:10:17,728 --> 00:10:19,763
And you didn't like cutsies.
192
00:10:19,797 --> 00:10:23,500
Nobody likes cutsies. They're worse than takesies-backsies.
193
00:10:23,534 --> 00:10:25,902
So you say one thing and do another?
194
00:10:25,937 --> 00:10:27,838
You're a hypocrite.
195
00:10:30,808 --> 00:10:32,676
How dare you! I am your sensei
196
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And I deserve respect.
197
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Great. Now I got a run in my tights.
198
00:10:39,651 --> 00:10:41,818
What happened with Jack?
199
00:10:41,852 --> 00:10:43,921
He's mad because he got in a fight at school,
200
00:10:43,955 --> 00:10:47,457
And thinks it's the same as what happened to me in Falafel Phil's.
201
00:10:47,492 --> 00:10:48,626
Well, isn't it?
202
00:10:48,660 --> 00:10:49,927
No, it's completely different.
203
00:10:49,961 --> 00:10:52,797
I mean, I was you know--
204
00:10:52,831 --> 00:10:55,967
And he was all, you know--
205
00:10:57,736 --> 00:10:59,771
Do you guys really think I'm being a hypocrite?
206
00:11:06,712 --> 00:11:08,513
Oh yeah, totally.
207
00:11:09,748 --> 00:11:11,716
What have I done?
208
00:11:16,489 --> 00:11:18,656
Ew! She turned into Gerty?
209
00:11:18,691 --> 00:11:21,793
The girl wants my lips, but I can't give them to her.
210
00:11:21,827 --> 00:11:23,528
I have to end it.
211
00:11:23,562 --> 00:11:25,630
No, you're ending nothing.
212
00:11:25,665 --> 00:11:27,666
Julie's your first love.
213
00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:29,668
It's not fair to her.
214
00:11:29,703 --> 00:11:30,903
It's over.
215
00:11:30,937 --> 00:11:33,539
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
216
00:11:35,508 --> 00:11:37,843
Listen, you, I was responsible for you two getting together,
217
00:11:37,877 --> 00:11:41,480
And I'm not letting you break it off over some dumb mental block.
218
00:11:41,514 --> 00:11:44,449
Kim, I appreciate your concern,
219
00:11:44,483 --> 00:11:45,750
But you're putting a lot of pressure on a place
220
00:11:45,784 --> 00:11:47,919
That my doctor thinks may be a third nipple.
221
00:11:51,690 --> 00:11:54,625
I can help you. Meet me at the dojo at 3:30.
222
00:11:54,660 --> 00:11:57,629
Yeah, I've got some fruit flies in the lab
223
00:11:57,664 --> 00:11:59,932
that'll be livid if I don't show up with a rotten plum.
224
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- Milton-- - 3:30 will work.
225
00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:14,648
Got your text, Rudy. What's up?
226
00:12:14,682 --> 00:12:17,884
Jack, I've made some mistakes in my life.
227
00:12:17,918 --> 00:12:20,653
Sushi flavored toothpaste, pet toupees.
228
00:12:20,688 --> 00:12:22,822
Don't forget mantyhose.
229
00:12:22,856 --> 00:12:25,825
No, no, that was a great idea. Just a bad name.
230
00:12:25,859 --> 00:12:28,594
I should have called them "Stockings for dudes."
231
00:12:28,628 --> 00:12:30,562
What do you want, Rudy?
232
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I wanted to apologize, Jack.
233
00:12:34,534 --> 00:12:36,902
Look, you were right.
234
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I was being a hypocrite.
235
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Fighting should always be the last resort.
236
00:12:41,743 --> 00:12:43,811
Thanks, Rudy.
237
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Wait, why did I have to come down here for you to tell me that?
238
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'Cause I'm gonna make things right.
239
00:12:48,651 --> 00:12:50,852
Mondo!
240
00:12:53,790 --> 00:12:56,825
- What do you want? - I have a proposal.
241
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We both know this match
242
00:12:58,101 --> 00:13:00,529
tomorrow is fake and nobody's gonna get hurt.
243
00:13:00,563 --> 00:13:03,699
I'm supposed to win, but I want you to win instead.
244
00:13:03,733 --> 00:13:05,568
Why do you wanna do that?
245
00:13:05,602 --> 00:13:06,869
'Cause I crossed the line the other day.
246
00:13:06,903 --> 00:13:09,706
Phil's food is not worth fighting over.
247
00:13:09,740 --> 00:13:12,575
You know it's a bad sign when you walk in the bathroom
248
00:13:12,610 --> 00:13:14,878
and see a cockroach throwing up in the toilet.
249
00:13:16,547 --> 00:13:19,516
You made me look like an idiot on the internet.
250
00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:21,652
My rabbi saw that.
251
00:13:21,686 --> 00:13:23,721
I'm sorry about everything.
252
00:13:23,755 --> 00:13:26,691
I embarrassed you and I sent a bad message to my students.
253
00:13:26,725 --> 00:13:29,895
If that's what you want, then that's what we'll do.
254
00:13:31,864 --> 00:13:34,533
That's pretty cool, Rudy.
255
00:13:34,567 --> 00:13:36,735
Let's not ruin the show for the guys.
256
00:13:36,769 --> 00:13:38,502
We'll just keep this our secret.
257
00:13:38,537 --> 00:13:40,771
You mean like how you wax your chest every Wednesday night?
258
00:13:40,806 --> 00:13:43,640
Wait. How'd you know about that?
259
00:13:43,675 --> 00:13:45,475
It's a combination of the screams
260
00:13:45,510 --> 00:13:48,912
and the way the toilet backs up 'cause it's full of wax and hair.
261
00:13:50,548 --> 00:13:52,482
We'll see you tomorrow, Mondo.
262
00:13:52,516 --> 00:13:53,650
Let's give 'em a good show.
263
00:13:53,684 --> 00:13:55,519
Okay.
264
00:13:55,553 --> 00:13:57,621
Oh, it's gonna be a good show.
265
00:13:57,655 --> 00:14:00,758
I'm gonna rip off his face and show it to his butt.
266
00:14:01,961 --> 00:14:03,862
That doesn't make any sense.
267
00:14:03,896 --> 00:14:06,765
Shut it!
268
00:14:11,571 --> 00:14:12,738
I can't do it.
269
00:14:12,772 --> 00:14:14,473
- You can do it. - I can't.
270
00:14:14,508 --> 00:14:16,542
- It's just a picture. - Every time I pucker,
271
00:14:16,576 --> 00:14:18,477
I see Gerty.
272
00:14:18,511 --> 00:14:20,612
- It's hopeless. - It's not hopeless.
273
00:14:20,646 --> 00:14:23,882
We'll just take it slowly, like getting into a hot tub.
274
00:14:23,916 --> 00:14:25,490
I don't get into hot tubs.
275
00:14:25,491 --> 00:14:27,853
They're bubbling cauldrons of bacteria.
276
00:14:27,887 --> 00:14:31,857
For the love of-- it's just a stupid...
277
00:14:33,526 --> 00:14:36,828
Oh, wow, what did we just do?
278
00:14:37,864 --> 00:14:40,899
Milton David Krupnick, you and kim?
279
00:14:40,933 --> 00:14:43,835
No, julie, I think you have the wrong--
280
00:14:45,637 --> 00:14:48,672
Julie, no, Kim was just kissing me to see if I'd like it.
281
00:14:48,707 --> 00:14:50,474
And I did.
282
00:14:51,709 --> 00:14:54,611
No, no, no, Julie, it's not what you think, okay?
283
00:14:54,646 --> 00:14:56,747
Milton was nervous because he knew you wanted to kiss him,
284
00:14:56,781 --> 00:15:00,751
And he wanted your first kiss to be perfect.
285
00:15:00,785 --> 00:15:04,723
Yes, and I didn't wanna ruin things by vomiting on your shoes.
286
00:15:05,858 --> 00:15:07,760
This was never about me, Julie.
287
00:15:07,794 --> 00:15:10,730
This was all about you.
288
00:15:12,866 --> 00:15:16,702
Milton, where did you get the idea that I wanted you to kiss me?
289
00:15:16,737 --> 00:15:19,506
You said you wanted to go to the next level.
290
00:15:19,540 --> 00:15:22,442
I was talking about the upper level of the museum.
291
00:15:22,476 --> 00:15:24,811
What?
292
00:15:24,846 --> 00:15:27,144
But you said it would be scary at first,
293
00:15:27,145 --> 00:15:28,581
and then it would be fun.
294
00:15:28,616 --> 00:15:30,584
Yeah, because after you get off the elevator,
295
00:15:30,618 --> 00:15:32,652
The first thing you see is the mummy exhibit.
296
00:15:32,686 --> 00:15:34,855
But if you keep going,
297
00:15:34,889 --> 00:15:36,409
There's a simulator that let's
298
00:15:36,410 --> 00:15:38,691
you travel through the human digestive tract.
299
00:15:38,726 --> 00:15:40,693
I heard about that.
300
00:15:40,728 --> 00:15:45,598
It's a magical journey from mastication to evacuation.
301
00:15:45,633 --> 00:15:48,768
That's one wild ride I wanna take with you.
302
00:15:50,638 --> 00:15:51,905
Oh, Milton.
303
00:15:51,939 --> 00:15:55,642
And about the other thing-- we don't need to rush.
304
00:15:55,676 --> 00:15:57,710
When we're ready, it'll happen.
305
00:15:57,745 --> 00:16:00,514
Thanks, Julie.
306
00:16:00,548 --> 00:16:02,482
Let's go get a smoothie.
307
00:16:02,517 --> 00:16:04,584
Just a second.
308
00:16:06,554 --> 00:16:08,755
Kim, thanks for helping Milton.
309
00:16:08,789 --> 00:16:11,791
I know you're a black belt,
310
00:16:11,825 --> 00:16:15,462
But if your lips get anywhere near my man ever again,
311
00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:17,464
I will end you, sister.
312
00:16:18,733 --> 00:16:21,835
- Got it. - Bye-bye.
313
00:16:26,641 --> 00:16:28,743
Ladies and gentlemen,
314
00:16:28,777 --> 00:16:30,678
Welcome to the Seaford Rec Center
315
00:16:30,713 --> 00:16:33,882
where Wrestle Frenzy is well underway.
316
00:16:35,451 --> 00:16:37,551
Oh, this is disgusting.
317
00:16:37,586 --> 00:16:39,887
These guys are sweating all over us.
318
00:16:39,921 --> 00:16:43,890
I know. Rudy got us the greatest seats ever.
319
00:16:43,925 --> 00:16:47,827
Check it out. I caught one of his teeth in my snow cone.
320
00:16:52,799 --> 00:16:55,501
Hello, everybody, I'm Jason Sehorn.
321
00:16:56,903 --> 00:16:58,838
And I used to play in the N.F.L.
322
00:16:58,872 --> 00:17:03,876
And now I'm here as your celebrity wrestling announcer in Seafood.
323
00:17:03,911 --> 00:17:05,878
- Seaford! - Don't care.
324
00:17:07,614 --> 00:17:08,848
And now into the ring,
325
00:17:08,882 --> 00:17:12,651
He's mad, he's mean, he's Mondo Mountain!
326
00:17:22,595 --> 00:17:25,430
The internet phenomenon, the mighty mouse that roared,
327
00:17:25,464 --> 00:17:27,499
the sensei sensation,
328
00:17:27,533 --> 00:17:29,767
Rowdy Rudy!
329
00:17:36,776 --> 00:17:40,779
That's right. Rowdy rudy is here to bring the pain, baby.
330
00:17:42,515 --> 00:17:44,550
- Oh! - My bad.
331
00:17:44,584 --> 00:17:46,586
My bad. Walk it off. Walk it off.
332
00:17:47,588 --> 00:17:49,723
Hey, so I've seen these things.
333
00:17:49,758 --> 00:17:51,659
I think we should do a little smack talk.
334
00:17:51,693 --> 00:17:54,462
I'm gonna say something about your mama that I in no way mean.
335
00:17:54,497 --> 00:17:56,831
Your mama is so big--
336
00:18:03,839 --> 00:18:05,606
Mondo, buddy.
337
00:18:05,641 --> 00:18:08,710
I kind of felt that one. Maybe we can lighten it up a little bit.
338
00:18:08,744 --> 00:18:09,744
I'm sorry.
339
00:18:11,580 --> 00:18:13,481
- How was that? - Not good.
340
00:18:13,515 --> 00:18:15,583
I think I just peed into my lungs.
341
00:18:17,687 --> 00:18:21,590
Oh! - I knew I shouldn't have kept my car keys in my pocket.
342
00:18:21,625 --> 00:18:24,661
And that can opener, that was just stupid.
343
00:18:26,797 --> 00:18:30,400
Come on, Mondo, rip his leg off and kick him with it.
344
00:18:30,434 --> 00:18:32,769
- I heard that, Jerry. - Sorry, Rudy.
345
00:18:32,803 --> 00:18:34,771
Ow!
346
00:18:34,806 --> 00:18:37,508
I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop that.
347
00:18:37,542 --> 00:18:39,509
I really don't bend that way!
348
00:18:47,852 --> 00:18:50,587
No!
349
00:18:54,659 --> 00:18:56,426
Oh!
350
00:18:56,460 --> 00:19:00,463
But, mommy, I don't wanna go to school today.
351
00:19:02,599 --> 00:19:04,700
Guys, something's not right.
352
00:19:04,734 --> 00:19:07,603
This is what you get for embarrassing me.
353
00:19:07,637 --> 00:19:10,406
Oh, Mongo, now!
354
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,775
Mondo's brother Mongo is coming from the locker room.
355
00:19:23,486 --> 00:19:26,654
All right, Rudy, we got this.
356
00:19:46,676 --> 00:19:48,678
Huh?
357
00:19:58,488 --> 00:20:00,623
Thanks, Jack.
358
00:20:00,657 --> 00:20:01,857
You saved me.
359
00:20:01,892 --> 00:20:04,460
Sometimes you do have to take a stand, Rudy.
360
00:20:04,494 --> 00:20:07,530
And the winner is Rowdy Rudy!
361
00:20:07,564 --> 00:20:09,732
People, people,
362
00:20:09,766 --> 00:20:12,802
I have something to say, all right?
363
00:20:12,836 --> 00:20:14,603
If you have a disagreement with someone,
364
00:20:14,637 --> 00:20:16,905
Try to work it out without resorting to violence.
365
00:20:16,939 --> 00:20:19,742
Violence is never the answer.
366
00:20:19,776 --> 00:20:23,546
- Yeah! - Violence rocks!
367
00:20:23,580 --> 00:20:24,914
No, no, no, no, violence is bad.
368
00:20:24,948 --> 00:20:28,451
- It only leads to more violence. - Yeah!
369
00:20:28,485 --> 00:20:30,920
Good. We love violence!
370
00:20:30,954 --> 00:20:34,857
No, no. Peace is the answer.
371
00:20:34,891 --> 00:20:38,728
That's it! I saw who threw that. I'm going all Rudy on you!
372
00:20:42,167 --> 00:20:45,008
Oh this internet dating has been so good to us.
373
00:20:45,769 --> 00:20:49,705
Today's the day that we have been together for three months.
374
00:20:49,740 --> 00:20:54,443
And I was thinking it's time for the kiss.
375
00:20:57,614 --> 00:20:58,977
Oh, Phil.
376
00:20:58,977 --> 00:21:02,452
I didn't see this coming.
377
00:21:03,900 --> 00:21:07,135
All right, just close your eyes while I get ready.
378
00:21:07,169 --> 00:21:10,038
Okay.
379
00:21:14,043 --> 00:21:16,011
All right.
380
00:21:16,045 --> 00:21:18,814
- I'm ready. - Okay.
381
00:21:18,848 --> 00:21:20,148
Ahem--
382
00:21:22,953 --> 00:21:24,186
Milton!
383
00:21:24,220 --> 00:21:27,856
That twisted little boy has ruined me.
384
00:21:29,893 --> 00:21:32,061
I thought we were having moment of good times.
385
00:21:32,095 --> 00:21:34,230
Come back, Gerty. Gerty, come back!
386
00:21:34,264 --> 00:21:36,832
Why?
387
00:21:36,882 --> 00:21:41,432
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