All language subtitles for Just Shoot Me s02e23 Rescue Me.eng

Okay, let's see
if we can pull that sleeve up

far enough,

or you might have
to take off your blouse.

How's this?

Oh, that
should be fine.

You can leave
your shirt on.

Boo. I'm out of here.

Boring PG-13 blood drive.

Maya, I want to thank you again
for organizing the blood drive.

How did you get
so many people to sign up?

We had a margarita party
yesterday,

and nobody knew
what they were signing.

So do you do many of these?

Well, a few,

but mostly, I work
down at the children's clinic,

so this is
quite a change of pace for me.

Look at the choo-choo.
Look at the choo-choo.

Ow.

And you know,
I've got to tell you,

Blush is my favorite magazine.

Well,

next to Playgirl.

Damn, I love naked men.

So have you been here long?

Um, about a year.

I used to write TV news,

but then I got fired

for making an anchorwoman
cry on the air.

I saw that.

That blond girl
on channel nine.

Whoo, she was nasty.
Whatever happened to her?

She does a Christian puppet show
on cable.

So after
the crying incident,

I wasn't much in demand,

and my dad said
he was in a bind,

so here I am.

Well,
you must have more fun here.

Oh, yeah,
sometimes.

Not today.

Ooh, give me the dirt.

Well, my father met a cute girl
this weekend

and hired her
to write an article.

She's completely unqualified,

and now I'm saddled
with babysitting her.

She is driving me-
Maya?

And that's why space travel
is possible today.

I always come in

at the end
of that story.

Yes, Shannon?

For my article,

when you said that
my sentences ran on too long,

did you mean
that I put too many thoughts

into one sentence,

or that people
just like short sentences?

Because I read that once

in a book that my high school
English teacher gave me,

who was no one to judge,

because he was hitting on me
the year I grew boobs.

Shannon, if you look
in the back of my desk drawer,

I bet there's a Butterfinger.

This is
the best job ever.

She is a writer?

I'm not even sure
she's a reader,

but she looks great
in short skirts,

and in my father's world,

that gets you a Pulitzer.

Ah.

So now I am
responsible

for teaching her
draft after draft.

Does my father have
to deal with her?

No.

I mean,
for God's sakes,

TheNew York Times

doesn't just
hand out articles

to cute
little bartenders.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
slow down.

You're gonna get that blood
moving too fast.

Don't worry about me.
I'll be fine.

Although, come
to think of it,

I don't remember eating
breakfast this morgle...

What?

Maya?

Oh, Maya.

What are you doing?

Oh. Uh, we mess
with each other

all the time.

She is gonna love me
for doing this.

It's a real hoot.
Say "rabies."

Uh-oh.

You'd better hook
me up, quick.

You feeling better?

Oh, yeah,
I feel- I feel a little...

I feel a little fogg-

What the hell?

Oh, Cujo, you can't
be our family dog anymore.

Maya,

there's some juice
next to you.

Why don't you just try
and rest a while?

Thanks.

So, Dennis, what is it
that you do around here?

I mean, besides
spread your love.

Well, I'm the publisher's
right-hand man.

I am the straw
that stirs the drink.

Could you flex that bicep
for me, please?

I already am.

Ah, would you look
at that.

Oh, yeah.

I lift a little bit on weekends.

An airplane
goes "vroom."

Ooh, where? Oh!

So have you been
here long?

About nine years.

I was hand-picked
by Mr. Gallo himself

after a brief stint
in show business.

Oh, really? You were an actor?

Mm, not per se.

A writer.

Let's just say,

if you wanted
to get into the movies,

you had to go through me.

Hey.

How are you, sir?

Box office is
right up front.

Yeah, I was already there.

They told me
the movie's sold out.

Yes, sir,
very popular film.

Costume drama.
Two thumbs up.

My date over there
had her heart set on seeing it.

Oh, she's a looker.

Shame
to disappoint her.

Yeah, well, I was wondering
if there was any way at all

we could get in there.

Sir, are you
offering me a bribe?

I am an usher.

This uniform is a symbol
of integrity and honor.

It would be a disgrace
to the profession

if I let you in,
you crooked fat cat.

Sorry.

Wait, wait.
Where you going?

Dude, my manager
was walking by.

Come here.
Oh.

So about that 20...

Uh, yeah, sure.
Here you go.

All right.

Another 20 will
get you primo seats.

How primo?

10th row, center,
behind a short guy.

How did you
manage that?

I put lost-and-found coats
on the best rows,

then I scope the lines
for little people

and let them in early.

That's pretty resourceful.

I do okay.

Cigar?

Got any Cubans?

Ooh, nice choice.
Top shelf.

Another 10.

Rose for the lady?

Why not?

Breath mint?

Uh...

Trust me.

Okay, let's move
you two in.

I didn't catch your name.
That's right.

Gotcha.

What are you doing,
Dennis?

Oh, hi.

I was just helping
these nice patrons

back in
to find their...

Coats, our coats.

You're wearing coats.

Ah! There they are.

It's like when you're looking
for your glasses,

and the whole time,
they're on top of your head.

Uh-huh. Dennis,
clear out your cubby.

What?

You were sneaking
these people in

to a sold-out show.

I just thank God

it was the mature audience
of a costume drama,

or this could have erupted
into total pandemonium.

I've seen it happen.

You're fired.

Hey, that's
my dad's tie.

You make me sick.

Yeah, well,

who needs your
stupid job anyway?

You do, don't you?

Yes.

So I cleaned out my cubby
and started here the next day.

Huh.

After all that,
he still hired you.

Well, I'm good
to have around.

Blush magazine
has a lot of competitors,

and not many people
can fit into their air ducts.

You're all set.

Ah, good.

Maya, you gonna be okay?

Oh, thanks for asking.

I'll be all right.

You look
a little flush.

You might want to
take her shirt off.

Out.

The brassiere is
very constricting.

That is a fact.

Hey, that nurse
is gonna tell you

to look
at an airplane.

Mm-hm.
There is no airplane.

Maya,
how you feeling?

Everybody's
concerned.

You mean
everyone's laughing at me.

But not to your face,

and that should count
for something.

Hi. I'm Elliott DiMauro.
Here's my form.

Well, then,
let's get started.

Elliott, thanks again
for letting us use your studio.

Oh, no problem,
it's been fun out there,

watching Shannon
trying to get channel four

on the microwave.

Oh, so you're
the photographer.

Mm-hmm.

You know, that
must be exciting,

working with
all the models.

Well, photographs

are the backbone
of a magazine.

No offense, Maya.

Words are
important too.

Yes. Words, good.

Well,

I'm a big fan
of your work.

Look at the bunny.
Look at the bunny.

So did you always want
to be a photographer?

Oh, as long
as I could remember.

I've always been fascinated
by the honesty of it,

the form,

the juxtaposition
of light and shadow...

The sleeping with the models.

It's all good.

Must've been hard
to break into.

Oh, impossible,

but you know what they say,
"When the going gets tough..."

"The tough get going."

Not me.

I gave up.

Yours?

Yeah.

Beautiful shot.
Who's the girl?

A prostitute who lives
in my building.

You see all the wrinkles
in her face?

No.

That's because I shot it
through an old T-shirt.

Very nice.

Oh, look at
this woman's face.

You can see life's
brought her nothing

but disappointment.

That's my mother.

Sorry. But no kidding,
these are all great.

Well, this is your lucky day.

Fire sale. Buck a piece.

Also got lots
of camera equipment.

Everything must go.

All this?

I'm getting the hell out of here
and going back to Jersey.

Guess what?

I'm gonna be
the assistant manager

at my cousin's grocery store.

With your people skills,
sky's the limit.

Why are you giving up
photography?

I can't take the rejection
anymore.

I can't make my rent,
I can't buy food.

So I'm gonna be
the assistant manager

at my cousin's grocery store.

You won't need a microphone
for the price checks.

How much
for the camera?

300 bucks.
It cost me 12.

Works?

Yeah, it works.

I'll give you 75.

75?

He just told you
he paid 1200 bucks for it.

You offer him 75?

Don't sell this guy
your camera.

What, do you think
I was born yesterday?

This guy's your shill.

He's not my shill.

I've never seen him
before in my life.

What, they teach you that line
in shill school?

Hey, this guy's

got a freaking shill!

Thank you very much.

I'm gonna bend over now,

and why don't you just kick me
right in the ass.

Here, come by
and see me sometime.

"Tiger Lily, oriental massage"?

Oh, uh... Here.

"Jack Gallo,
Blush magazine."

That's you? You're him?

Call me tomorrow.
You do good work.

I've been trying to get my foot
in your door for years.

Imagine that.

Could I have
my other card back?

Oh, here.
This is amazing.

I mean, you walking
by here this afternoon.

What are the odds?
Pretty good.

I keep a mistress
in this building.

You know, this had the makings
of the worst day of my life.

On top of everything,
this morning,

I found a bunch of hairs
in my sink.

Ah, stop worrying.

I know hair,

and that mane of yours
isn't going anywhere.

And that's it,
and then I was here.

I never heard that story before.

My cousin
with the grocery store?

It's now
the third largest chain

in Jersey.

I would have had
the biggest above-ground pool

in the whole neighborhood.

You're all done.

Great. Thank you.

How are you feeling?

Pretty good.

Better, I think.

Good, because when that needle
went into my skin,

and the blood started going
through that little tube,

man, the look
on your face...

What look?
That look.

Uh-oh.

She can't breathe.

For God's sake,
take her shirt off, stat.

This doesn't bother you,

does it?

I mean, with her passed out
like that next to you.

Oh, please,
I toured withthe Stonesin '71.

So, what do you do here?

I'm the fashion editor.

Oh, you decide what's in
and what's out.

That's right.

It's like the whole world's
my high school.

You know,

I have always
gone crazy

for clothes.

When I was a kid,
I used to change

three, four times
an hour.

Today, that's called
obsessive-compulsive.

Back then,
I was just being Diana Ross.

You know, when I was a girl,

I used to love putting on
my party dresses.

The way they'd twirl,

and how I could lift them
over my head.

Oh,
where did that little girl go?

I think I saw her
at the Christmas party.

So Nina,
how did you start working here?

Well, of course,

you know that I was a top model
in the '70s and '80s.

Uh...

Well, I was!

It was during a break
from the rigors of modeling

that I decided it was time
to reinvent myself.

Ahoy, matey.

Come aboard
and reel in a whale of a deal.

You're not wiggling
your tail.

What?

You're a mermaid.
Work the tail.

Ahoy, matey.

Come aboard
and wheel in-

Nina?

Is that you?

Oh, Jack Gallo.
What a surprise.

Hey.

What are you doing here?

I'm thinking
about buying a boat.

My lawyer says it ain't cheating
if it's in international waters.

Mermaid.

So how's business?

Never better.

I just spent five grand

on this thing
called a fax machine,

and I can't wait
for someone else to get one.

Mermaid!

Well, take care.

Mermaid,
quit yapping and start flapping.

Nina, what's going on?

What are you talking about?

Well...this.

Oh, this...

Ha, well, Lord knows.

I have worn
some pretty silly clothes

on the runway

before.

Yeah, and there's
certainly no shame

in promoting
quality marine products.

Oh, God, Jack!
I have a flipper.

It's okay.

No, it's not okay.

This is the best job
I've had in months.

Oh, everyone has slumps.

Oh, it's way past a slump.

Last week, I was sawed in half
at a kiddie party.

How do they do that?

Well, things will turn up,

and surely you must've
saved money, right?

I am a fashion model
with an addictive personality

in a fish suit.

What do you think?

Nina...have you
ever considered

crossing over

to the other side
of the camera?

You mean, death?

No.

We may have an opening
in our fashion department,

and I've always admired
your sense of style.

Well, usually.

That's it!
You're out of the tractor show.

Cram it, Popeye.

I just got back
a little thing called dignity.

And I've been here ever since.

Wow.

That's quite
a story.

Is that the Statue
of Liberty?

Oh, this?

Yeah, it's my good luck charm.
I never go anywhere without it.

Wow,

it reminds me of a really wild
bicentennial costume party

back in '70...something.

I went as the Statue of Liberty,

and this guy
in a Jimmy Carter mask said,

"I have lust in my heart
for you,"

so we had a quickie
in the coat room

and split without ever knowing
who the other one was.

Where has all the romance gone?

Well, here you go.

Keep it.

Well, I'm
all done here.

Be careful
standing up.

Ah, good one.

Maya, I'm ready for you
to take another look at this.

Hey, Shannon,

can I ask you
a difficult question?

Probably. You're really smart.

How did you get this job?

What do you mean?

How did you meet Mr. Gallo?

Well, I was bartending
at this big party

that my friend Judy
was supposed to do,

but she got sick
on Thai food,

and I got my purse stolen
with all my money in it,

not to mention a Swatch
that my boyfriend gave me

right before we broke up

because some pizza guy
hit on me.

Shannon, focus.

Short sentences.

All my money was stolen.
Uh-huh.

I started to cry.

Mr. Gallo and his daughter
gave me a ride home.

That's his wife.

Oh, that's a relief.

Anyway, he offered to
give me the money that I lost,

but I told him
I couldn't accept that,

so he offered me this article,

which pays
the exact same amount.

Amazing, huh?

He really saved me.

Well, sometimes,

he does surprise you.

Hey, Maya,
I just got back from a meeting

and heard you passed out.
You okay?

I'm fine.

You sure?

There's a photo going around
with you foaming at the mouth.

I'm fine.

Hi, Mr. Gallo.

Hey, Shannon.
How's that article coming?

All finished.

800 words, which was really hard
without using any of them twice.

Well...

as long as I'm here.

It's nice to finally
meet you, Mr. Gallo.

People say such nice things
about you.

Why not?
I'm cuddly,

and once a year,

I float a rumor
about profit sharing.

Oh, Mr. Gallo, you forgot
to put down your blood type.

B- positive.

That's my motto.
That's my blood type.

Same as Maya.

I'm B-negative.

Okay.
Here we go.

And rocket ship
goes "whoosh."

Hey, that works.
I didn't feel a thing.

I didn't do it yet.

What? Ow!

Sorry.

Dad.

Yeah?

I never said thank you.

For what?

For this job.

You rescued me.

Huh?

I didn't realize it until now,

and, I mean,
I may not be a mermaid

or an usher
or a grocery store guy,

but when you offered me
this job,

you rescued me too.

How much blood did she give?

Dad, I'm fine.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

You know...
it works both ways.

Did I ever tell you
the story

of that crazy
bicentennial costume party

I went to dressed
as Jimmy Carter?

That was some party.

♪ Life keeps bringing me
Back to you ♪

♪ Keeps bringing me home ♪

♪ It don't matter
What I want to do ♪

♪ 'Cause
It's got a mind of its own ♪

♪ Life keeps bringing me
Back to you ♪♪

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