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1
00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:15,501
Come along, children.
Don't dawdle.
2
00:00:15,536 --> 00:00:16,998
Nina, what's going on?
3
00:00:17,033 --> 00:00:21,267
Well, these are my children,
Estee and Vidal.
4
00:00:21,302 --> 00:00:22,332
Since when?
5
00:00:22,367 --> 00:00:25,566
Since I'm getting audited today.
6
00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:28,300
They think they're here
for a movie audition.
7
00:00:29,467 --> 00:00:31,901
Okay, children,
just run along and play.
8
00:00:31,936 --> 00:00:34,268
Help yourself to coffee.
9
00:00:34,303 --> 00:00:36,566
You're getting audited?
10
00:00:36,601 --> 00:00:38,566
You should have used my guy.
11
00:00:38,601 --> 00:00:41,201
He's a creepy little weasel
who knows every loophole
12
00:00:41,236 --> 00:00:43,801
and gets a sexual thrill
out of cheating the feds.
13
00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:45,167
Who is he?
14
00:00:45,202 --> 00:00:48,532
Me.
15
00:00:48,567 --> 00:00:50,199
Are you really that good?
16
00:00:50,234 --> 00:00:53,067
Last year,
the government paid me 20 grand
17
00:00:53,102 --> 00:00:54,267
not to grow corn.
18
00:00:55,834 --> 00:00:56,868
You're hired.
19
00:00:59,334 --> 00:01:00,384
Not again.
20
00:01:00,419 --> 00:01:01,399
What is that?
21
00:01:01,434 --> 00:01:03,367
Jack got
halfway through his memoirs
22
00:01:03,402 --> 00:01:04,732
and got writer's block,
23
00:01:04,767 --> 00:01:07,000
so he's been bouncing
that ball against the wall
24
00:01:07,035 --> 00:01:08,199
for three days.
25
00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:09,534
Ah, that's irritating.
26
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:10,566
That's nothing.
27
00:01:10,601 --> 00:01:12,067
You missed
what will forever be known
28
00:01:12,102 --> 00:01:13,965
as "Banjo Thursday."
29
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:18,534
which was immediately followed
by "Missing-banjo Friday."
30
00:01:20,567 --> 00:01:21,667
Hey.
Hey.
31
00:01:21,702 --> 00:01:22,732
You're back.
32
00:01:22,767 --> 00:01:25,167
Oh. I hear your dad's
driving you nuts.
33
00:01:25,202 --> 00:01:26,132
Not for long.
34
00:01:26,167 --> 00:01:27,933
I've got the solution.
35
00:01:27,968 --> 00:01:31,067
Great. Sneak up behind him
and make it one clean blow.
36
00:01:36,100 --> 00:01:37,733
Still blocked?
37
00:01:37,768 --> 00:01:39,367
I'm going nuts.
38
00:01:39,402 --> 00:01:41,232
Well...
39
00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:44,801
maybe this will help.
40
00:01:44,836 --> 00:01:45,766
Tah-dah.
41
00:01:45,801 --> 00:01:48,684
I don't believe it.
My old royal.
42
00:01:48,719 --> 00:01:51,532
Surefire cure
for writer's block.
43
00:01:51,567 --> 00:01:55,133
I hope so, because
I can't find my banjo.
44
00:01:55,168 --> 00:01:58,467
Okay...
45
00:01:58,502 --> 00:02:00,934
Here we go.
46
00:02:00,969 --> 00:02:03,367
Ready to write.
47
00:02:03,402 --> 00:02:04,551
Mm-hmm.
48
00:02:04,586 --> 00:02:05,701
Nothing.
49
00:02:08,567 --> 00:02:10,901
Okay. Well, one step at a time.
50
00:02:10,936 --> 00:02:12,234
Where are you stuck?
51
00:02:12,269 --> 00:02:14,466
1969.
52
00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:16,634
Okay. What happened that year?
53
00:02:16,669 --> 00:02:18,866
Well, let's see...
54
00:02:18,901 --> 00:02:22,000
I slept with
three of the gold diggers.
55
00:02:22,035 --> 00:02:24,566
Okay, fine. After that?
56
00:02:24,601 --> 00:02:26,834
I took a nap.
Even when you're that young-
57
00:02:26,869 --> 00:02:28,834
Dad!
58
00:02:30,334 --> 00:02:31,833
There must be something else.
59
00:02:31,868 --> 00:02:35,634
Well, it was the year
Herb and I started Blush.
60
00:02:35,669 --> 00:02:38,085
Wait a minute. Who's Herb?
61
00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:40,466
Herb Stanton, my old partner.
62
00:02:40,501 --> 00:02:41,701
We worked at the Times together.
63
00:02:41,736 --> 00:02:42,968
We were fishing buddies.
64
00:02:43,003 --> 00:02:44,165
So what happened to Herb?
65
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:47,834
Well, he kind of left
after the first issue.
66
00:02:47,869 --> 00:02:49,584
Kind of how come?
67
00:02:49,619 --> 00:02:51,265
I don't know.
68
00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:54,167
I guess we were better friends
than partners,
69
00:02:54,202 --> 00:02:56,868
so it was, uh,
you know, decided
70
00:02:56,903 --> 00:02:59,534
that, uh,
Herb would just move on.
71
00:02:59,569 --> 00:03:01,168
And who decided that?
72
00:03:01,203 --> 00:03:02,732
So many years ago.
73
00:03:02,767 --> 00:03:04,667
Who remembers things like that?
74
00:03:04,702 --> 00:03:07,132
I believe your conscience.
75
00:03:07,167 --> 00:03:11,167
That's why you're stuck in 1969,
the year you tossed him aside.
76
00:03:11,202 --> 00:03:14,901
I didn't toss him aside.
I gave him a few grand.
77
00:03:14,936 --> 00:03:18,601
And back then, a few grand
was worth several grand.
78
00:03:18,636 --> 00:03:21,267
And now you're at the top,
and where's Herb?
79
00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:23,501
Well, he's in my heart.
80
00:03:25,367 --> 00:03:27,566
Dad, you feel guilty
81
00:03:27,601 --> 00:03:29,968
because you screwed over
your business partner.
82
00:03:30,003 --> 00:03:31,599
I didn't screw over anyone.
83
00:03:31,634 --> 00:03:34,634
Now, leave me alone
so I can start Herbing-
84
00:03:34,669 --> 00:03:36,100
writing. Go away!
85
00:03:48,968 --> 00:03:52,300
You have a lot of
deductions here, Ms. Van Horn.
86
00:03:52,335 --> 00:03:53,400
Thank you.
87
00:03:55,767 --> 00:03:58,098
And one
of the write-offs
88
00:03:58,133 --> 00:03:59,968
is for something
called a "buttock-lift?"
89
00:04:00,003 --> 00:04:01,365
Yes.
90
00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:05,067
And it's listed
under travel expenses.
91
00:04:05,102 --> 00:04:08,300
It is further north than it was.
92
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,833
I'd better jump in here.
93
00:04:12,868 --> 00:04:17,667
Ms. Hanson, let me tell you why
I'm proud to be an American.
94
00:04:17,702 --> 00:04:20,118
First of all,
consider the alternatives.
95
00:04:20,153 --> 00:04:22,534
Secondly, I believe
America's a place
96
00:04:22,569 --> 00:04:24,651
where a person
can't be judged
97
00:04:24,686 --> 00:04:26,793
by a bunch of numbers
on a form.
98
00:04:26,828 --> 00:04:28,866
And if you think,
for one second,
99
00:04:28,901 --> 00:04:31,567
I'm gonna let you intimidate
this poor old woman
100
00:04:31,602 --> 00:04:32,965
with your Gestapo-
101
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,783
oh, yeah, Gestapo-
scare tactics,
102
00:04:34,818 --> 00:04:36,567
then you have obviously
never crossed paths
103
00:04:36,602 --> 00:04:38,499
with Dennis Finch.
104
00:04:38,534 --> 00:04:40,767
Finch. That's F-I-N-C-
105
00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:42,501
No, no! Gotta go!
106
00:04:44,467 --> 00:04:45,799
Oh, hello.
107
00:04:45,834 --> 00:04:46,833
Uh, Elliott Dimauro,
108
00:04:46,868 --> 00:04:49,934
meet Janet Hanson
from the IRS.
109
00:04:49,969 --> 00:04:52,067
Oh, that's a pretty pin.
110
00:04:52,102 --> 00:04:53,699
Oh, thanks.
111
00:04:53,734 --> 00:04:55,950
Nina, take a look
at these test shots.
112
00:04:55,985 --> 00:04:58,167
I'm sorry, but this hat
looks ridiculous.
113
00:04:58,202 --> 00:05:00,132
Oh, no, no, it's
totally happening.
114
00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:02,667
It won't be ridiculous
until next month.
115
00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:05,167
Well, that's why
you make the big bucks.
116
00:05:05,202 --> 00:05:06,334
No, I don't.
117
00:05:06,369 --> 00:05:07,684
See ya.
118
00:05:07,719 --> 00:05:08,965
Bye.
119
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,067
I should mention that
I donate a lot of money
120
00:05:12,102 --> 00:05:14,766
toward finding
a cure for aging.
121
00:05:14,801 --> 00:05:17,801
Uh, would you just excuse me
for a moment?
122
00:05:21,167 --> 00:05:22,167
She wants you.
123
00:05:22,202 --> 00:05:23,132
Pardon?
124
00:05:23,167 --> 00:05:24,567
The tax lady, she wants you.
125
00:05:24,602 --> 00:05:25,532
Go ask her out.
126
00:05:25,567 --> 00:05:27,234
I don't want to ask her out.
127
00:05:27,269 --> 00:05:28,618
I don't even know her.
128
00:05:28,653 --> 00:05:29,826
Well, come on, Elliott.
129
00:05:29,861 --> 00:05:30,965
You sleep with models
130
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,767
without knowing
their last names.
131
00:05:32,802 --> 00:05:34,499
Most of them
don't have last names.
132
00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:37,000
Oh, come on, Elliott,
just take her out to dinner
133
00:05:37,035 --> 00:05:37,998
and woo her a little.
134
00:05:38,033 --> 00:05:39,433
Maybe she'll go easy on me.
135
00:05:39,468 --> 00:05:40,799
That's not going to work.
136
00:05:40,834 --> 00:05:43,934
Come on. I'm in
big trouble, Elliott.
137
00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:46,568
Nina, is this
really necessary?
138
00:05:46,603 --> 00:05:49,132
Ms. Van Horn,
what is this?
139
00:05:49,167 --> 00:05:52,901
Oh, god, I think she's onto
that church I set up.
140
00:06:08,801 --> 00:06:10,666
Morning, Sam.
141
00:06:10,701 --> 00:06:14,334
Any good mail today?
142
00:06:14,369 --> 00:06:17,566
I'm not Sam.
143
00:06:17,601 --> 00:06:19,667
No, you're sure not.
144
00:06:21,501 --> 00:06:24,067
Been a while, Jack.
145
00:06:24,102 --> 00:06:26,599
Yeah. Sure has.
146
00:06:26,634 --> 00:06:30,300
You got rid
of the muttonchops, huh?
147
00:06:30,335 --> 00:06:32,300
How have you been, Herb?
148
00:06:32,335 --> 00:06:33,868
Well, great.
149
00:06:36,567 --> 00:06:39,167
This is a beautiful
shop you've got.
150
00:06:39,202 --> 00:06:40,132
Thanks.
151
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:41,799
So what brings you here?
152
00:06:41,834 --> 00:06:44,950
Well, you know,
I was in town on business,
153
00:06:44,985 --> 00:06:48,032
and I thought
I'd just poke my head in.
154
00:06:48,067 --> 00:06:50,234
You're in Wickston, Connecticut
on business?
155
00:06:50,269 --> 00:06:51,199
That's right.
156
00:06:51,234 --> 00:06:54,567
Wickston, population 114?
157
00:06:54,602 --> 00:06:55,799
Sure.
158
00:06:55,834 --> 00:06:58,934
Wickston, whose largest employer
is Mrs. Jennings
159
00:06:58,969 --> 00:07:00,934
with her round-the-clock nurses?
160
00:07:00,969 --> 00:07:03,165
All right.
161
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,868
All right,
I came here to see you.
162
00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:08,302
Really? Why?
163
00:07:08,337 --> 00:07:10,666
Because, Herb...
164
00:07:10,701 --> 00:07:14,132
I feel bad about
what happened between us,
165
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:17,701
about how Blush
went on to become a big success
166
00:07:17,736 --> 00:07:19,132
and how...
167
00:07:19,167 --> 00:07:21,132
you weren't a part of that.
168
00:07:21,167 --> 00:07:23,567
What, are you still
thinking about that?
169
00:07:23,602 --> 00:07:26,133
It was 30 years ago. I'm fine.
170
00:07:26,168 --> 00:07:27,150
Really?
171
00:07:27,185 --> 00:07:28,098
Of course.
172
00:07:28,133 --> 00:07:30,098
Let me ask you
something, Jack.
173
00:07:30,133 --> 00:07:33,167
What gets you up
out of bed every morning?
174
00:07:33,202 --> 00:07:36,501
I'm 60 years old.
What do you think?
175
00:07:36,536 --> 00:07:39,032
With me...
176
00:07:39,067 --> 00:07:40,434
well, after that...
177
00:07:41,834 --> 00:07:44,617
I get up because
I love my life.
178
00:07:44,652 --> 00:07:47,365
I make toys
with my own two hands,
179
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:50,265
toys that bring joy
to little children.
180
00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:53,400
I'm probably the happiest man
in the whole world,
181
00:07:53,435 --> 00:07:55,334
and for that, I thank you.
182
00:07:55,369 --> 00:07:57,365
Wow.
183
00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:58,766
That's fantastic, Herb.
184
00:07:58,801 --> 00:08:01,651
I can't tell you
what a relief it is
185
00:08:01,686 --> 00:08:04,501
to know that you
don't hold a grudge.
186
00:08:04,536 --> 00:08:07,532
Oh, please.
Life's too short.
187
00:08:07,567 --> 00:08:09,267
You know,
I've got a baby daughter now.
188
00:08:09,302 --> 00:08:11,799
You do? You old dog.
189
00:08:11,834 --> 00:08:14,917
And she'd just love
one of your beautiful toys.
190
00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:18,000
I think I've gotta buy
that choo-choo there.
191
00:08:18,035 --> 00:08:20,968
Certainly.
Topnotch choice.
192
00:08:21,003 --> 00:08:22,666
So...
193
00:08:22,701 --> 00:08:24,399
what do I owe you?
194
00:08:24,434 --> 00:08:27,184
Okay, one choo-choo train.
195
00:08:27,219 --> 00:08:29,934
That'll be $12 million.
196
00:08:36,467 --> 00:08:37,599
Excuse me?
197
00:08:37,634 --> 00:08:42,033
$12 million,
you backstabbing son of a bitch!
198
00:08:43,434 --> 00:08:44,732
But, Herb, I thought-
199
00:08:44,767 --> 00:08:47,767
Who cares what you thought?
You screwed me, Jack!
200
00:08:47,802 --> 00:08:49,951
We were supposed to be a team.
201
00:08:49,986 --> 00:08:52,226
We were gonna conquer the world.
202
00:08:52,261 --> 00:08:54,467
Now I'm a freakin' toy maker!
203
00:08:54,502 --> 00:08:56,501
Herb, calm down.
204
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,466
You calm down!
205
00:08:58,501 --> 00:09:01,400
You ruined
the last 30 years of my life,
206
00:09:01,435 --> 00:09:04,300
and nothing you do
can make that better!
207
00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:05,567
But, Herb, I-
208
00:09:05,602 --> 00:09:06,799
Nothing!
209
00:09:06,834 --> 00:09:10,701
Everyone say hi to
our new managing editor.
210
00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:15,968
I'm not wearing my glasses.
211
00:09:16,003 --> 00:09:17,334
Are they happy?
212
00:09:27,934 --> 00:09:30,667
Herb, meet our fashion editor,
Nina Van Horn.
213
00:09:30,702 --> 00:09:32,601
Hi.
Holy smokes. You're pretty.
214
00:09:32,636 --> 00:09:33,732
Oh.
215
00:09:33,767 --> 00:09:35,199
I like him.
216
00:09:35,234 --> 00:09:37,334
Our assistant, Dennis Finch.
217
00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:39,232
"Our" assistant?
218
00:09:39,267 --> 00:09:40,232
That's right, Dennis.
219
00:09:40,267 --> 00:09:42,467
Treat Herb
the way you would me.
220
00:09:42,502 --> 00:09:44,065
Gotcha.
221
00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:47,567
No, sir, those pants
don't make your butt look big.
222
00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:53,850
And, of course,
my daughter, Maya.
223
00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:56,133
Holy smokes.
You're pretty too.
224
00:09:56,168 --> 00:09:57,098
Hi, Herb.
225
00:09:57,133 --> 00:09:58,766
What do you do here?
226
00:09:58,801 --> 00:10:00,599
Dad made me articles editor.
227
00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:03,167
Oh. I hope
you got that in writing.
228
00:10:03,202 --> 00:10:04,998
I'm kidding, of course.
229
00:10:05,033 --> 00:10:06,501
Herb, why don't you
throw your stuff
230
00:10:06,536 --> 00:10:08,332
in my office?
231
00:10:08,367 --> 00:10:11,000
Oh, yeah. I want to find
a cool, dry place
232
00:10:11,035 --> 00:10:11,868
for my banana.
233
00:10:15,567 --> 00:10:17,466
Morning.
There you are.
234
00:10:17,501 --> 00:10:19,801
So how was your date
with the IRS lady?
235
00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:20,965
Oh, you owe me.
236
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:24,901
I dropped her off 14 hours ago.
I'm still bored.
237
00:10:28,734 --> 00:10:31,067
But you did
sleep with her, right?
238
00:10:31,102 --> 00:10:32,032
Close.
239
00:10:32,067 --> 00:10:33,767
I nodded off during dessert.
240
00:10:37,534 --> 00:10:39,701
Oh, that's
a nice office, Jack.
241
00:10:39,736 --> 00:10:40,998
It's twice as big
242
00:10:41,033 --> 00:10:43,733
as the Wickston Museum
of Natural History.
243
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:46,434
Elliott, I'd like you
to meet Herb Stanton,
244
00:10:46,469 --> 00:10:48,100
our new managing editor.
245
00:10:48,135 --> 00:10:49,132
Really?
246
00:10:49,167 --> 00:10:51,365
Elliott Dimauro,
our head photographer.
247
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:54,367
I, uh-Jack told me about you
on the ride down.
248
00:10:54,402 --> 00:10:56,699
Oh. What did he say?
249
00:10:56,734 --> 00:11:00,868
That-that you were
the head photographer.
250
00:11:00,903 --> 00:11:02,968
So, let's get
this meeting started.
251
00:11:03,003 --> 00:11:05,033
Herb, where would you
like to sit?
252
00:11:05,068 --> 00:11:06,251
Sit? Uh, hmm...
253
00:11:06,286 --> 00:11:07,360
Uh, let's see.
254
00:11:07,395 --> 00:11:08,399
Maybe-no.
255
00:11:08,434 --> 00:11:09,767
How about-uh, well...
256
00:11:09,802 --> 00:11:11,100
How about this one?
257
00:11:11,135 --> 00:11:12,534
Sure. Sure.
258
00:11:14,067 --> 00:11:16,350
Okay. Item one:
259
00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:18,599
new story ideas.
260
00:11:18,634 --> 00:11:22,133
I think we should do an exposé
on the big business
261
00:11:22,168 --> 00:11:23,432
of illegal fashion knockoffs.
262
00:11:23,467 --> 00:11:25,501
Interesting.
Herb, what do you think?
263
00:11:25,536 --> 00:11:29,033
What? Oh, um, uh, um...
264
00:11:29,068 --> 00:11:31,367
well, I, uh, um,
265
00:11:31,402 --> 00:11:34,234
um...
266
00:11:35,467 --> 00:11:37,901
Should I book you
a flight to Tibet, Herb?
267
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:44,965
Finch, be nice.
268
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:45,998
Maybe Herb just wants
269
00:11:46,033 --> 00:11:48,300
to think it through
a little more.
270
00:11:48,335 --> 00:11:50,234
Yes. More thought. Yes.
271
00:11:50,269 --> 00:11:51,332
Item 2:
272
00:11:51,367 --> 00:11:54,033
our next theme issue,
eveningwear or beachwear?
273
00:11:54,068 --> 00:11:56,868
Ah. Uh, Herb,
your take on this?
274
00:11:56,903 --> 00:11:58,599
Wh-me?
275
00:11:58,634 --> 00:12:01,499
Uh, uh, why, evening, beach,
276
00:12:01,534 --> 00:12:04,034
be-I think-
I think we should go-
277
00:12:04,069 --> 00:12:06,499
well, on the other hand,
uh, um...
278
00:12:06,534 --> 00:12:09,234
One or the other, Herb!
There's no wrong answer!
279
00:12:11,234 --> 00:12:13,601
Take it easy, buddy.
Take it easy.
280
00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:17,167
Herb, uh,
maybe more thought on that one?
281
00:12:17,202 --> 00:12:19,167
Yes, more thought.
More thought.
282
00:12:20,334 --> 00:12:21,850
Whoa. Um, sorry,
I've gotta go.
283
00:12:21,885 --> 00:12:23,367
They're locking
the pages today,
284
00:12:23,402 --> 00:12:24,532
and I still need a sidebar
285
00:12:24,567 --> 00:12:26,701
for that piece
on the divorce rate.
286
00:12:26,736 --> 00:12:27,666
Hey! Take Herb.
287
00:12:27,701 --> 00:12:29,968
You guys
can pound it out together.
288
00:12:30,003 --> 00:12:31,566
It'll be just
like old times,
289
00:12:31,601 --> 00:12:33,033
except you're
gonna be working with
290
00:12:33,068 --> 00:12:34,567
a prettier Gallo
this time.
291
00:12:34,602 --> 00:12:35,785
Okay with you, Maya?
292
00:12:35,820 --> 00:12:37,060
Sure. Sounds fun.
293
00:12:37,095 --> 00:12:38,265
Good with you, Herb?
294
00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:41,234
Uh, yeah, w-well,
whatever, uh, if you-
295
00:12:41,269 --> 00:12:42,901
Just go!
296
00:12:49,701 --> 00:12:52,499
So, I've run
the numbers twice,
297
00:12:52,534 --> 00:12:54,367
and, Ms. Van Horn,
you owe us some money.
298
00:12:54,402 --> 00:12:55,332
Listen to me.
299
00:12:55,367 --> 00:12:56,866
I cannot go to jail.
300
00:12:56,901 --> 00:13:00,734
I couldn't bear the humiliation
of how few cigarettes I'm worth.
301
00:13:04,167 --> 00:13:07,734
The total comes to $52.28.
302
00:13:07,769 --> 00:13:08,766
What?
303
00:13:08,801 --> 00:13:11,267
Look, there are
a lot of red flags
304
00:13:11,302 --> 00:13:12,566
I could pursue here,
305
00:13:12,601 --> 00:13:14,601
but, frankly,
I don't have time.
306
00:13:14,636 --> 00:13:16,601
I'm in love.
307
00:13:16,636 --> 00:13:18,268
I'm so happy.
308
00:13:18,303 --> 00:13:19,901
I mean, for you.
309
00:13:22,567 --> 00:13:24,134
Oh, Elliott, thank you.
310
00:13:24,169 --> 00:13:25,666
Everything worked out.
311
00:13:25,701 --> 00:13:27,567
Oh. So I'm off the hook
with Janet?
312
00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:30,968
Children,
mommy needs you!
313
00:13:33,467 --> 00:13:35,867
Oh, uh, Elliott,
I wanted to tell you
314
00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:38,267
what a great time
I had last night.
315
00:13:38,302 --> 00:13:39,833
Oh, me too.
316
00:13:39,868 --> 00:13:41,098
And I was wondering
317
00:13:41,133 --> 00:13:43,167
if you'd like to go away
with me this weekend?
318
00:13:43,202 --> 00:13:45,167
My office confiscated
a ski lodge.
319
00:13:46,968 --> 00:13:48,632
Oh, gosh,
that's very flattering-
320
00:13:48,667 --> 00:13:50,901
I was supposed to go away
with my boyfriend,
321
00:13:50,936 --> 00:13:52,351
but he broke up with me.
322
00:13:52,386 --> 00:13:53,767
Well, that's his loss.
323
00:13:53,802 --> 00:13:54,998
I'll say.
324
00:13:55,033 --> 00:13:57,734
I froze his assets
and put a lien on his salary.
325
00:13:57,769 --> 00:13:59,601
Teach him to stand me up
on the third date.
326
00:14:06,267 --> 00:14:07,734
Let's hit the slopes!
327
00:14:12,300 --> 00:14:14,000
So, do you think
we should start
328
00:14:14,035 --> 00:14:15,265
by summarizing
the article
329
00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:18,333
or dive right in
to the readers' poll?
330
00:14:18,368 --> 00:14:21,367
Ooh. Uh, summarize or dive,
or summarize
331
00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:23,033
or dive-dive or summa-
332
00:14:23,068 --> 00:14:24,784
what time is it?
333
00:14:24,819 --> 00:14:26,466
Uh, 10 after 3:00.
334
00:14:26,501 --> 00:14:28,167
And what time is this due?
335
00:14:28,202 --> 00:14:29,365
5:00.
336
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,065
5:00 today?
337
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:32,332
Calm down. We'll make it.
338
00:14:32,367 --> 00:14:35,367
Uh. Well, that's
what Jack always used to say.
339
00:14:35,402 --> 00:14:37,098
Look, this is no big deal.
340
00:14:37,133 --> 00:14:39,265
All we need is
two little paragraphs.
341
00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:42,367
Good God, I can't work
with all this chaos.
342
00:14:42,402 --> 00:14:44,332
What chaos?
343
00:14:44,367 --> 00:14:51,601
Now, ahem, we're just
going to be very still...
344
00:14:51,636 --> 00:14:53,399
and very thoughtful...
345
00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:56,300
and just let this thing come.
346
00:14:56,335 --> 00:14:58,767
Okay, but, um, I-
347
00:14:58,802 --> 00:15:01,200
Shh, shh. Trust me.
348
00:15:04,834 --> 00:15:08,866
What time is it now?
349
00:15:08,901 --> 00:15:12,400
Um, Herb,
you're wearing a watch.
350
00:15:12,435 --> 00:15:14,767
Uh, no, this is a compass.
351
00:15:14,802 --> 00:15:17,100
I get turned around in fog.
352
00:15:19,634 --> 00:15:22,117
Herb, maybe I should
do this alone.
353
00:15:22,152 --> 00:15:24,601
But we're a team.
Jack said so.
354
00:15:24,636 --> 00:15:26,199
I know, but maybe...
355
00:15:26,234 --> 00:15:28,834
Look, so I'm having
first-day jitters.
356
00:15:28,869 --> 00:15:31,584
There's a lot to get used to-
357
00:15:31,619 --> 00:15:33,926
you know, this crazy pace,
358
00:15:33,961 --> 00:15:36,234
the touch-tone phones.
359
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,585
I'm sorry.
360
00:15:37,620 --> 00:15:38,866
Now, listen,
361
00:15:38,901 --> 00:15:41,234
we're both going to take
a deep breath...
362
00:15:42,234 --> 00:15:44,133
We're gonna put
our heads together,
363
00:15:44,168 --> 00:15:46,033
and we're gonna
bang this baby out.
364
00:15:46,068 --> 00:15:47,550
Are you with me?
365
00:15:47,585 --> 00:15:49,033
I'm with you.
366
00:15:49,068 --> 00:15:49,998
Good.
367
00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:51,400
Now, what time is it?
368
00:16:00,267 --> 00:16:01,601
Surprise.
369
00:16:01,636 --> 00:16:02,766
Hi.
370
00:16:02,801 --> 00:16:05,667
I was, uh, nearby,
and, uh, how about dinner?
371
00:16:05,702 --> 00:16:07,434
Oh, um, I can't.
372
00:16:07,469 --> 00:16:09,132
Oh, why not?
373
00:16:09,167 --> 00:16:11,467
Janet, I have
something to tell you,
374
00:16:11,502 --> 00:16:13,968
and you're not
going to like it.
375
00:16:14,003 --> 00:16:16,218
This is very scary
for me to say,
376
00:16:16,253 --> 00:16:18,434
and please, please
don't be mad.
377
00:16:18,469 --> 00:16:20,067
I can't date you.
378
00:16:20,102 --> 00:16:21,934
Oh, God.
379
00:16:21,969 --> 00:16:23,767
You're gay.
380
00:16:23,802 --> 00:16:25,132
No.
381
00:16:25,167 --> 00:16:26,567
I mean, yes.
382
00:16:26,602 --> 00:16:27,834
I knew it.
383
00:16:27,869 --> 00:16:29,032
You knew it?
384
00:16:29,067 --> 00:16:30,799
I mean, there you go.
385
00:16:30,834 --> 00:16:32,466
I'm gay, through and through.
386
00:16:32,501 --> 00:16:37,000
In fact, I'm unusually gay,
even my gay friends say so.
387
00:16:37,035 --> 00:16:38,532
Why did you ask me out?
388
00:16:38,567 --> 00:16:41,267
Because that's how sexy you are.
389
00:16:41,302 --> 00:16:43,933
You had me all turned around.
390
00:16:43,968 --> 00:16:47,265
Elliott,
I appreciate your honesty,
391
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:49,934
and I can't pretend
I'm not disappointed.
392
00:16:49,969 --> 00:16:51,466
Oh, I'm sorry.
393
00:16:51,501 --> 00:16:54,098
You are so sweet and cute and-
394
00:16:54,133 --> 00:16:57,567
Wait! You would be perfect
for Mitchell.
395
00:16:57,602 --> 00:16:59,734
Mitchell?
Who-who's Mitchell?
396
00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:00,965
My boss.
397
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,400
He's director
of the Criminal Fraud Division
398
00:17:02,435 --> 00:17:03,632
for the entire east coast.
399
00:17:03,667 --> 00:17:06,133
Oh. You know, I don't
really think I'm ready-
400
00:17:06,168 --> 00:17:07,432
Trust me. You'll love him.
401
00:17:07,467 --> 00:17:09,267
In fact, I won't take
no for an answer.
402
00:17:09,302 --> 00:17:10,667
I'm going to give him
your number.
403
00:17:10,702 --> 00:17:11,835
But-
Don't worry.
404
00:17:11,870 --> 00:17:12,933
He's perfect for you.
405
00:17:12,968 --> 00:17:15,701
And talk about unusually gay.
406
00:17:20,567 --> 00:17:22,265
Oh, man.
407
00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:25,834
Talk about getting stuck
by the IRS.
408
00:17:31,601 --> 00:17:33,466
We have to talk.
409
00:17:33,501 --> 00:17:35,799
Maya, I can't believe it,
but I'm still blocked.
410
00:17:35,834 --> 00:17:38,601
I've been sitting here for hours
in front of this typewriter,
411
00:17:38,636 --> 00:17:40,632
and nothing-
it's driving me crazy.
412
00:17:40,667 --> 00:17:42,968
Well, this is not
gonna make your day any better,
413
00:17:43,003 --> 00:17:45,300
and I hate to say it,
because he's so sweet,
414
00:17:45,335 --> 00:17:47,234
but you've got
to get rid of Herb.
415
00:17:47,269 --> 00:17:49,133
No, no, no.
I kicked him out once.
416
00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:50,766
I'm not gonna do it again.
417
00:17:50,801 --> 00:17:54,133
He and I are a team,
a partnership joined at the hip.
418
00:17:54,168 --> 00:17:56,501
Now just take him
to the zoo or something.
419
00:17:57,634 --> 00:18:00,132
Look, I see why you let him go.
420
00:18:00,167 --> 00:18:02,217
He is completely wrong
for this kind of work.
421
00:18:02,252 --> 00:18:04,267
He would have dragged
the whole magazine down.
422
00:18:04,302 --> 00:18:06,432
I know.
423
00:18:06,467 --> 00:18:08,965
I- I just thought...
424
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,000
I don't know what I thought.
425
00:18:11,035 --> 00:18:12,965
Herb.
426
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:16,000
I'm working on it!
427
00:18:17,968 --> 00:18:20,067
That's all right, Herb.
428
00:18:20,102 --> 00:18:22,134
Just come into my office.
429
00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:24,167
Poor guy, he's gonna kill me.
430
00:18:24,202 --> 00:18:25,332
Don't worry.
431
00:18:25,367 --> 00:18:29,567
He'll never be able
to choose a weapon.
432
00:18:29,602 --> 00:18:31,051
Hey, old buddy.
433
00:18:31,086 --> 00:18:32,501
Herb, sit down.
434
00:18:35,434 --> 00:18:36,434
Let's have a chat.
435
00:18:36,469 --> 00:18:38,218
About what?
436
00:18:38,253 --> 00:18:39,933
About...
437
00:18:39,968 --> 00:18:41,165
your assignment.
438
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:43,132
I have something more important.
439
00:18:43,167 --> 00:18:45,534
We're starting
a Blush charity for children,
440
00:18:45,569 --> 00:18:47,901
and we're gonna need
Christmas presents for them.
441
00:18:47,936 --> 00:18:50,200
I was thinking
choo-choo trains, say 50.
442
00:18:50,235 --> 00:18:51,634
What do you think?
443
00:18:51,669 --> 00:18:52,965
Holy smokes.
444
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,767
I couldn't possibly make
50 trains by Christmas.
445
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:58,568
Hey, I never said
this Christmas.
446
00:18:58,603 --> 00:19:01,334
Those kids
have nothing but time.
447
00:19:03,234 --> 00:19:05,367
You head back
to Wickston pronto.
448
00:19:05,402 --> 00:19:06,399
Get on this.
449
00:19:06,434 --> 00:19:07,799
It's a top priority.
450
00:19:07,834 --> 00:19:10,501
Jack, I know what
you're trying to do.
451
00:19:10,536 --> 00:19:13,100
No, you don't.
No one ever does.
452
00:19:13,135 --> 00:19:14,951
You don't have to pretend.
453
00:19:14,986 --> 00:19:16,760
I know it's not working out.
454
00:19:16,795 --> 00:19:18,499
I guess, all these years,
455
00:19:18,534 --> 00:19:21,667
uh, it was easier
to be mad at you
456
00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,799
than to admit the truth.
457
00:19:23,834 --> 00:19:26,601
I stink
at the magazine business.
458
00:19:26,636 --> 00:19:28,300
Oh, no, you don't.
459
00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:29,599
Sure, I do.
460
00:19:29,634 --> 00:19:32,534
Between you and me, I'm glad.
461
00:19:32,569 --> 00:19:35,818
I mean, deadlines, fax machines,
462
00:19:35,853 --> 00:19:39,067
that unusually gay
photographer...
463
00:19:41,667 --> 00:19:43,365
Who needs it?
464
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,065
I- I guess what
I'm trying to say
465
00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:51,501
is thanks for making me realize
that my life doesn't suck.
466
00:19:51,536 --> 00:19:53,767
I'm just delighted, Herb.
467
00:19:53,802 --> 00:19:56,051
Yeah. Well...
468
00:19:56,086 --> 00:19:58,265
back to Wickston.
469
00:19:58,300 --> 00:20:00,732
You know, Herb,
I was thinking
470
00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:02,734
maybe we could
get together some time.
471
00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:04,265
Wow.
472
00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:06,065
That-that would be great.
473
00:20:06,100 --> 00:20:08,067
Hey, you know what
I'd love to do?
474
00:20:08,102 --> 00:20:09,332
Hit the old fishing hole.
475
00:20:09,367 --> 00:20:12,567
Yeah, so would I,
but it's a Home Depot now.
476
00:20:12,602 --> 00:20:14,566
No-no problem.
477
00:20:14,601 --> 00:20:16,566
We can go to my place.
478
00:20:16,601 --> 00:20:19,265
I've got a cabin
up on Lake George,
479
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:22,200
20-foot Boston Whaler,
the whole nine yards.
480
00:20:22,235 --> 00:20:25,534
Son of a bitch.
481
00:20:30,868 --> 00:20:32,234
Week from Saturday?
482
00:20:32,269 --> 00:20:33,532
You're on.
483
00:20:33,567 --> 00:20:35,133
I'll get you a ride. Dennis!
484
00:20:35,168 --> 00:20:36,734
Goodbye, Herb.
485
00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:38,265
Goodbye, sweetie.
486
00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:41,600
I'm sorry to leave you
in the lurch on that article.
487
00:20:41,635 --> 00:20:44,901
Dennis, I need you to drive
Herb back to Connecticut.
488
00:20:44,936 --> 00:20:46,799
Oh, boy.
489
00:20:46,834 --> 00:20:48,399
Traffic is probably terrible.
490
00:20:48,434 --> 00:20:50,767
Uh, we should take
the Merrit Parkway.
491
00:20:50,802 --> 00:20:52,332
Fine.
492
00:20:52,367 --> 00:20:53,701
Or maybe I-95.
493
00:20:53,736 --> 00:20:54,666
Uh-oh.
494
00:20:54,701 --> 00:20:55,666
Let me think.
495
00:20:55,701 --> 00:20:57,167
If we take the, uh-
496
00:20:57,202 --> 00:20:58,599
Think about this:
497
00:20:58,634 --> 00:21:01,400
you wanna ride in
the front seat or the trunk?
498
00:21:03,834 --> 00:21:05,868
Merrit Parkway.
499
00:21:10,334 --> 00:21:11,400
You're okay?
500
00:21:11,435 --> 00:21:13,401
Huh?
501
00:21:13,436 --> 00:21:15,367
Nothing.
502
00:21:31,033 --> 00:21:35,534
♪ Life keeps bringin' me
Back to you ♪
503
00:21:35,569 --> 00:21:39,998
♪ Keeps bringin' me home ♪
504
00:21:40,033 --> 00:21:44,033
♪ It don't matter
What I'm gonna do ♪
505
00:21:44,068 --> 00:21:48,033
♪ 'Cause it's got
A mind of its own ♪
506
00:21:48,068 --> 00:21:49,998
♪ Whoa ♪
507
00:21:50,033 --> 00:21:53,033
♪ Life keeps bringin' me
Back to you ♪
508
00:21:53,068 --> 00:21:54,901
♪ Yeah ♪♪
509
00:21:54,951 --> 00:21:59,501
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