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1
00:00:04,534 --> 00:00:06,032
Okay, let's see what you have.
2
00:00:06,067 --> 00:00:08,750
Mmm. Good height,
broad shoulders,
3
00:00:08,785 --> 00:00:11,399
supple mouth,
brooding eyes, terrific.
4
00:00:11,434 --> 00:00:14,000
Now, please walk to the end
of the room and back.
5
00:00:14,035 --> 00:00:15,299
Mm-hm. Good.
6
00:00:15,334 --> 00:00:17,133
Now I'll need you
to remove your shirt...
7
00:00:19,267 --> 00:00:20,617
and pose...
8
00:00:20,652 --> 00:00:21,933
and pose.
9
00:00:21,968 --> 00:00:23,934
Great! We'll be in touch.
10
00:00:23,969 --> 00:00:26,065
Next!
11
00:00:26,100 --> 00:00:28,899
Uh, Nina, I need
to talk with you
12
00:00:28,934 --> 00:00:30,367
when you're done
interviewing the models.
13
00:00:30,402 --> 00:00:32,701
Models?
No, no, that's tomorrow.
14
00:00:32,736 --> 00:00:34,534
I'm choosing a new intern.
15
00:00:46,968 --> 00:00:49,734
Jack, thanks again for
those hockey tickets.
16
00:00:49,769 --> 00:00:51,167
Glad you had
a good time, boys.
17
00:00:51,202 --> 00:00:52,132
Between periods,
18
00:00:52,167 --> 00:00:53,968
Finch got to shoot
a puck from center ice
19
00:00:54,003 --> 00:00:54,933
for a new car.
20
00:00:54,968 --> 00:00:56,432
No kidding! Did you win?
21
00:00:56,467 --> 00:00:58,267
No, but I didn't
wet my pants,
22
00:00:58,302 --> 00:01:00,032
so I'm calling
it a victory.
23
00:01:00,067 --> 00:01:02,801
I went out with
a hockey player once.
24
00:01:02,836 --> 00:01:03,965
Nina, is there a sport
25
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,601
where you haven't dated
one of the players?
26
00:01:05,636 --> 00:01:07,199
Yes, of course.
27
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:08,968
Not including figure skating?
28
00:01:09,003 --> 00:01:11,868
Uh...no.
29
00:01:13,133 --> 00:01:14,532
Oh, good,
you're here.
30
00:01:14,567 --> 00:01:16,717
I'm entering
everyone's birthday
31
00:01:16,752 --> 00:01:18,868
into my new
electronic organizer.
32
00:01:18,903 --> 00:01:20,385
Maya, what's yours?
33
00:01:20,420 --> 00:01:21,833
You're kidding, right?
34
00:01:21,868 --> 00:01:23,534
Well, you have
one of those birthdays
35
00:01:23,569 --> 00:01:24,734
that's hard to remember.
36
00:01:24,769 --> 00:01:27,400
January 1st?
37
00:01:28,801 --> 00:01:30,599
Moving on.
38
00:01:30,634 --> 00:01:32,184
Nina, what's on deck
for next month?
39
00:01:32,219 --> 00:01:33,734
Well, the designers
are rolling out
40
00:01:33,769 --> 00:01:35,100
their spring couture lines-
41
00:01:37,100 --> 00:01:38,984
Jack Gallo's office.
42
00:01:39,019 --> 00:01:40,868
Yeah, where are you?
43
00:01:43,534 --> 00:01:46,968
Yeah. What are
you wearing?
44
00:01:47,003 --> 00:01:49,501
Ho, ho, ho.
Yeah.
45
00:01:49,536 --> 00:01:52,000
It's your wife.
46
00:02:00,033 --> 00:02:02,333
I'll take it in my office.
47
00:02:02,368 --> 00:02:04,599
Keep going with the meeting.
48
00:02:04,634 --> 00:02:06,067
Yes. Yes, of course
we'll keep going.
49
00:02:06,102 --> 00:02:07,032
As I was saying,
50
00:02:07,067 --> 00:02:08,567
the designers
are rolling out
51
00:02:08,602 --> 00:02:10,067
their spring
couture lines,
52
00:02:10,102 --> 00:02:11,701
and I thought-
53
00:02:16,267 --> 00:02:18,767
Oh, I don't believe this.
54
00:02:18,802 --> 00:02:20,168
This is awful.
55
00:02:20,203 --> 00:02:21,499
What happened?
56
00:02:21,534 --> 00:02:24,165
Did your pharmacist
get busted again?
57
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:27,133
The post office is issuing
commemorative stamps
58
00:02:27,168 --> 00:02:28,499
of famous Blues musicians,
59
00:02:28,534 --> 00:02:30,634
and they're leaving out
Cholera Joe Hopper.
60
00:02:30,669 --> 00:02:31,666
What?
61
00:02:31,701 --> 00:02:32,899
Maybe that's because
62
00:02:32,934 --> 00:02:34,968
no one wants
to lick something
63
00:02:35,003 --> 00:02:37,098
that says cholera.
64
00:02:37,133 --> 00:02:39,783
Wait a minute. How do you know
about Cholera Joe?
65
00:02:39,818 --> 00:02:42,434
He was only the greatest
Blues musician of all time.
66
00:02:42,469 --> 00:02:45,200
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
67
00:02:45,235 --> 00:02:46,717
Name his first album.
68
00:02:46,752 --> 00:02:48,165
Bad Kinda Itch.
69
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:49,634
Huh! This is incredible,
you're a fan!
70
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,365
You know, I have every album
Cholera ever made,
71
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:56,000
even the unfinished one,
Don't Need No Doctor.
72
00:02:57,501 --> 00:03:00,534
God, I lost my virginity
listening to Cholera Joe.
73
00:03:00,569 --> 00:03:01,499
Wait, which album?
74
00:03:01,534 --> 00:03:04,367
No album, I-I was at a concert.
75
00:03:07,701 --> 00:03:09,065
I've never even heard
of this guy.
76
00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:12,367
Well, of course not.
They don't play him on WYUP.
77
00:03:13,367 --> 00:03:14,566
I'm not a yuppie.
78
00:03:14,601 --> 00:03:16,501
Oh, yeah? What's your
all-time favorite song?
79
00:03:16,536 --> 00:03:17,367
"Time in a bottle."
80
00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:22,400
Dennis, get me the number
of the Woodbridge School,
81
00:03:22,435 --> 00:03:24,167
and find out
who the headmaster is.
82
00:03:24,202 --> 00:03:25,132
What's wrong?
83
00:03:25,167 --> 00:03:27,365
Allie and Hannah
were at
84
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:29,868
their mommy-and-me
Tai Chi class.
85
00:03:29,903 --> 00:03:31,132
Get this.
86
00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:33,083
She found out
that we're the only ones
87
00:03:33,118 --> 00:03:34,965
not on the Woodbridge
waiting list.
88
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,167
Uh-oh, it's the best
school in the city.
89
00:03:37,202 --> 00:03:39,134
If you're not on that list
prenatally,
90
00:03:39,169 --> 00:03:41,067
you can just kiss
Woodbridge goodbye.
91
00:03:41,102 --> 00:03:42,485
How would you know?
92
00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:43,833
You seem to forget
93
00:03:43,868 --> 00:03:46,000
I was a stepmother
for over a month.
94
00:03:47,501 --> 00:03:49,299
There are plenty
of good schools.
95
00:03:49,334 --> 00:03:51,532
I don't want
a good school for Hannah.
96
00:03:51,567 --> 00:03:54,601
I want the best school,
and I can make this happen.
97
00:03:54,636 --> 00:03:56,334
I am the Can Do King.
98
00:03:56,369 --> 00:03:57,968
Says who?
99
00:03:58,003 --> 00:03:59,532
This mug.
100
00:03:59,567 --> 00:04:02,432
Well, I can't argue
with you there,
101
00:04:02,467 --> 00:04:04,601
even if I am
the world's greatest golfer.
102
00:04:07,534 --> 00:04:09,534
I must have
some connections.
103
00:04:09,569 --> 00:04:11,499
Woodbridge,
Woodbridge...
104
00:04:11,534 --> 00:04:13,501
Who do I know who
went to Woodbridge?
105
00:04:13,536 --> 00:04:15,566
Uh...me?
106
00:04:15,601 --> 00:04:17,933
No, I would've remembered that.
107
00:04:17,968 --> 00:04:19,567
There would've been plays,
recitals-
108
00:04:20,968 --> 00:04:23,732
Oh.
109
00:04:23,767 --> 00:04:25,767
Those of you on the left
side of the tram
110
00:04:25,802 --> 00:04:27,568
might want to get out
your cameras
111
00:04:27,603 --> 00:04:29,334
and catch this awkward
family moment.
112
00:04:31,234 --> 00:04:34,000
Didn't I donate a wing
to that school?
113
00:04:34,035 --> 00:04:36,000
Oh, yeah, I guess you did.
114
00:04:36,035 --> 00:04:38,566
Well, then we're in.
115
00:04:38,601 --> 00:04:40,065
Dennis, let's
do something
116
00:04:40,100 --> 00:04:42,500
to get the headmaster's
attention.
117
00:04:42,535 --> 00:04:44,618
Send him over some
high-priced Cubans.
118
00:04:44,653 --> 00:04:46,701
Great. I'll have
the Ricardo sisters there
119
00:04:46,736 --> 00:04:49,135
in an hour.
120
00:04:49,170 --> 00:04:51,534
I mean cigars.
121
00:04:51,569 --> 00:04:52,767
Oh...
122
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,098
Here we go!
123
00:05:07,133 --> 00:05:09,467
Cholera Joe's all-time classic
124
00:05:09,502 --> 00:05:11,766
"Pebble In My
One Good Shoe."
125
00:05:11,801 --> 00:05:14,000
You know, that's the last one
he sang with a tooth.
126
00:05:14,035 --> 00:05:14,965
Oh, I know,
127
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,165
and did you know
128
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,033
that in the second verse
of "Where's My Leg,"
129
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:20,067
that was an unplanned gunshot?
130
00:05:25,434 --> 00:05:28,032
♪ Ah, 10 cents a day ♪
131
00:05:28,067 --> 00:05:30,868
♪ Diggin' wet
Muddy ditches... ♪
132
00:05:30,903 --> 00:05:31,985
Ah, Elliott, there you are.
133
00:05:32,020 --> 00:05:33,067
We going to lunch or not?
134
00:05:33,102 --> 00:05:35,766
Shh! Shh!
135
00:05:35,801 --> 00:05:38,098
♪ Soggy legs, soggy legs... ♪
136
00:05:38,133 --> 00:05:39,901
Hey, not to speak ill
of the dead,
137
00:05:39,936 --> 00:05:42,385
but this guy
eats crap.
138
00:05:42,420 --> 00:05:44,799
He just doesn't get it.
139
00:05:44,834 --> 00:05:47,199
Yeah. Hit the road,
Top 40.
140
00:05:47,234 --> 00:05:49,767
Hey, I've been to
the House of Blues.
141
00:05:49,802 --> 00:05:54,165
Just listen to his pain.
142
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:57,065
I have carpal
tunnel syndrome.
143
00:05:57,100 --> 00:05:58,801
Suffering like that
comes from the soul.
144
00:05:58,836 --> 00:05:59,933
Yeah.
145
00:05:59,968 --> 00:06:01,667
Sometimes I can't
go like this...
146
00:06:08,901 --> 00:06:09,901
Jack, letter from Woodbridge.
147
00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:12,634
Already? Hey, we're in!
148
00:06:16,033 --> 00:06:17,599
"Dear Mr. and Mrs. Gallo,
149
00:06:17,634 --> 00:06:19,165
"after reviewing
your application
150
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,100
"and due to your family's
unfortunate history
151
00:06:21,135 --> 00:06:22,332
"with Woodbridge,
152
00:06:22,367 --> 00:06:24,801
we regretfully
decline the admission-"
153
00:06:24,836 --> 00:06:26,501
Hey, I donated
a whole damn wing.
154
00:06:26,536 --> 00:06:28,167
What the hell is going on here?
155
00:06:28,202 --> 00:06:30,365
Well, gotta go.
156
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:33,117
Hold on. Not so fast.
What don't I know?
157
00:06:33,152 --> 00:06:35,834
You're gonna get a kick
out of this.
158
00:06:35,869 --> 00:06:37,901
I burned down the school.
159
00:06:37,936 --> 00:06:38,866
What?
160
00:06:38,901 --> 00:06:41,232
Well, just
the west wing.
161
00:06:41,267 --> 00:06:43,084
Wasn't that
the wing I donated?
162
00:06:43,119 --> 00:06:44,866
Not so much donated as replaced.
163
00:06:44,901 --> 00:06:48,501
Part of their "you burnt it,
you bought it" policy.
164
00:06:48,536 --> 00:06:50,067
How come I didn't know
about this?
165
00:06:50,102 --> 00:06:51,201
You were in Rio!
166
00:06:51,236 --> 00:06:52,265
I tried to call you,
167
00:06:52,300 --> 00:06:54,300
but you told the hotel
to hold all your calls.
168
00:06:54,335 --> 00:06:55,734
Well, you should've called
my secretary!
169
00:06:55,769 --> 00:06:57,467
I did. She wasn't in her room.
170
00:06:58,901 --> 00:07:00,634
Oh, yeah.
171
00:07:03,534 --> 00:07:04,534
This is just great.
172
00:07:04,569 --> 00:07:05,667
Dennis!
173
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:14,550
We have to smooth things over
at Woodbridge.
174
00:07:14,585 --> 00:07:17,666
By smooth,
I'll assume our high-price Cuban
175
00:07:17,701 --> 00:07:20,334
will be joined by a silky,
20-year-old Scottish friend.
176
00:07:20,369 --> 00:07:21,998
Exactly.
177
00:07:22,033 --> 00:07:25,033
Great. I'll put Katie MacCullen
on hold.
178
00:07:31,501 --> 00:07:33,432
Headmaster Reilly?
179
00:07:33,467 --> 00:07:36,934
Oh, you must be Mr. Gallo.
180
00:07:36,969 --> 00:07:37,899
Please call me Jack.
181
00:07:37,934 --> 00:07:39,334
Well, it's nice
to meet you, Jack.
182
00:07:39,369 --> 00:07:40,499
Thanks for dropping by.
183
00:07:40,534 --> 00:07:42,499
I just wanted to show you
how eager I am
184
00:07:42,534 --> 00:07:44,866
to get my daughter
into your fine institution.
185
00:07:44,901 --> 00:07:47,334
Boy, if I had a dollar
for every time I heard that.
186
00:07:47,369 --> 00:07:48,834
Done.
187
00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:52,883
Anyway, just
a little token.
188
00:07:52,918 --> 00:07:55,432
Ah, Scotch.
How thoughtful.
189
00:07:55,467 --> 00:07:58,300
I always say you can never have
too much Scotch.
190
00:08:00,968 --> 00:08:04,065
I'm done saying that.
191
00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:05,667
No, no, no,
listen, I appreciate it.
192
00:08:05,702 --> 00:08:07,234
I'll just put it
next to this cognac
193
00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:08,784
that Mr. Trump sent me.
194
00:08:08,819 --> 00:08:10,300
Oh, Trump's kid goes here?
195
00:08:10,335 --> 00:08:11,518
Nope.
196
00:08:11,553 --> 00:08:12,666
Ah.
197
00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:14,300
You see, Jack,
a lot of important people
198
00:08:14,335 --> 00:08:16,499
try to get their children
in here.
199
00:08:16,534 --> 00:08:19,334
They can be big stars
or captains of industry,
200
00:08:19,369 --> 00:08:21,184
but when they walk
into this office,
201
00:08:21,219 --> 00:08:23,000
make no mistake,
they're on my turf.
202
00:08:23,035 --> 00:08:25,501
I hear you loud and clear,
203
00:08:25,536 --> 00:08:27,968
and speaking of turf...
204
00:08:28,003 --> 00:08:29,467
do you enjoy golf?
205
00:08:31,167 --> 00:08:32,899
Not really.
206
00:08:32,934 --> 00:08:35,800
I'd rather spend my weekends
with my family.
207
00:08:35,835 --> 00:08:38,517
Ah, well, surely
you have outside interests.
208
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:41,200
Bet that family of yours
likes to go skiing.
209
00:08:47,534 --> 00:08:48,699
I wish I could,
210
00:08:48,734 --> 00:08:50,601
but I blew out my knee
in the Peace Corps.
211
00:08:52,467 --> 00:08:53,833
But I've got to tell you, Jack,
212
00:08:53,868 --> 00:08:55,667
that's one hardworking guy
you got out there.
213
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:56,984
You think so?
214
00:08:57,019 --> 00:08:58,267
He's yours.
215
00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:04,801
Jack, please.
216
00:09:08,234 --> 00:09:10,000
Look, I appreciate
your, uh...
217
00:09:10,035 --> 00:09:12,265
generosity,
218
00:09:12,300 --> 00:09:13,734
but here
at the Woodbridge School,
219
00:09:13,769 --> 00:09:14,998
we have a little saying.
220
00:09:15,033 --> 00:09:17,200
"When you admit the children,
you admit the parents."
221
00:09:17,235 --> 00:09:21,334
No problem. I already take a nap
after lunch.
222
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:29,667
And that's why
I'm standing by my decision
223
00:09:29,702 --> 00:09:31,367
to deny your daughter admission.
224
00:09:31,402 --> 00:09:33,332
What?
225
00:09:33,367 --> 00:09:35,350
If this is because of the fire,
226
00:09:35,385 --> 00:09:37,299
believe me,
it won't happen again.
227
00:09:37,334 --> 00:09:40,234
Little Hannah has a completely
different mother.
228
00:09:40,269 --> 00:09:43,365
You guys mind
if I wait in here?
229
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,167
Some fifth-graders
are picking on me in the hall.
230
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,833
Look, Jack,
the records show
231
00:09:49,868 --> 00:09:52,100
that your daughter
set fire to this school
232
00:09:52,135 --> 00:09:53,501
one day after
you didn't show up
233
00:09:53,536 --> 00:09:54,885
for her music recital.
234
00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:56,199
According to this,
235
00:09:56,234 --> 00:09:58,734
you missed every single one
of Maya's school events
236
00:09:58,769 --> 00:10:00,667
from kindergarten
all the way up to the fire.
237
00:10:00,702 --> 00:10:03,551
How big could that fire
have been?
238
00:10:03,586 --> 00:10:06,400
That folder
seems to have survived.
239
00:10:06,435 --> 00:10:08,767
She was a child acting out.
240
00:10:08,802 --> 00:10:11,100
The fire wasn't Maya's fault.
241
00:10:11,135 --> 00:10:12,484
My point exactly.
242
00:10:12,519 --> 00:10:13,834
It was yours.
243
00:10:13,869 --> 00:10:15,432
Oh.
244
00:10:15,467 --> 00:10:17,566
Can I use
your phone?
245
00:10:17,601 --> 00:10:19,567
I'm gonna cancel
the hookers.
246
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:38,399
Nina...
247
00:10:38,434 --> 00:10:40,534
guess what I
brought in.
248
00:10:41,868 --> 00:10:46,701
Oh, wow, Cholera Joe's
Hurts To Make Water.
249
00:10:50,634 --> 00:10:53,367
Digitally remastered
gold edition.
250
00:10:56,234 --> 00:10:57,868
[SCRATCHY RECORDING
OF BLUES GUITAR PLAYS
251
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:03,599
Isn't it amazing
252
00:11:03,634 --> 00:11:06,901
how he just completely sucks you
into his world of despair?
253
00:11:06,936 --> 00:11:10,868
You lost me
right after "sucks."
254
00:11:12,634 --> 00:11:14,434
Hey, Finch, if you hurry
over to the elevator,
255
00:11:14,469 --> 00:11:16,200
they're playing
"Hungry Like the Wolf."
256
00:11:18,434 --> 00:11:21,766
You're bluffing.
257
00:11:21,801 --> 00:11:22,801
You can't even
understand
258
00:11:22,836 --> 00:11:24,499
a word this guy says.
259
00:11:24,534 --> 00:11:25,567
What are you
talking about?
260
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:26,532
The man is a poet.
261
00:11:26,567 --> 00:11:28,400
Yeah, who else could
come up with a lyric
262
00:11:28,435 --> 00:11:29,599
like "penny in my hat
263
00:11:29,634 --> 00:11:31,400
and that slow,
foamy killer"?
264
00:11:31,435 --> 00:11:32,917
Yeah.
265
00:11:32,952 --> 00:11:34,365
What?
266
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:35,432
"Penny in my hat
267
00:11:35,467 --> 00:11:37,984
and that slow,
foamy killer."
268
00:11:38,019 --> 00:11:40,501
You know,
it's malt liquor.
269
00:11:40,536 --> 00:11:42,799
No, no, no.
270
00:11:42,834 --> 00:11:45,701
It's "Penny in my hat
and a stone for my pillow."
271
00:11:45,736 --> 00:11:47,199
But that doesn't make any sense.
272
00:11:47,234 --> 00:11:49,584
Yes, it does.
He lived in the streets.
273
00:11:49,619 --> 00:11:51,934
Hey, I know perfectly well
where he lived.
274
00:11:51,969 --> 00:11:54,998
Lovers' quarrel.
275
00:11:55,033 --> 00:11:56,567
Nina, you're showing
your ignorance.
276
00:11:56,602 --> 00:11:58,833
The man
slept on gravel.
277
00:11:58,868 --> 00:12:01,051
Ooh, harsh words.
You gonna take that?
278
00:12:01,086 --> 00:12:03,234
I have forgotten more
about Cholera Joe
279
00:12:03,269 --> 00:12:04,599
than you'll
ever know.
280
00:12:04,634 --> 00:12:06,033
Oh, I hope you're
wearing a cup.
281
00:12:06,068 --> 00:12:08,499
Oh...
282
00:12:08,534 --> 00:12:11,634
Lady, you know nothing
about the Blues.
283
00:12:11,669 --> 00:12:13,799
Hoo hoo!
You showed her.
284
00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:15,501
Let's go celebrate
at happy hour.
285
00:12:15,536 --> 00:12:16,799
Wait!
286
00:12:16,834 --> 00:12:19,734
Are you absolutely sure
it's "stone for my pillow"?
287
00:12:19,769 --> 00:12:21,868
Well, I thought it was,
but now I don't know.
288
00:12:21,903 --> 00:12:24,567
"Slow, foamy killer"
does make sense.
289
00:12:24,602 --> 00:12:25,968
You know, we could look this up.
290
00:12:26,003 --> 00:12:27,167
Let's go.
291
00:12:28,734 --> 00:12:31,666
Yeah, yeah, go with her!
292
00:12:31,701 --> 00:12:33,567
But don't come crawling
back to me,
293
00:12:33,602 --> 00:12:35,651
because if you do...
294
00:12:35,686 --> 00:12:37,701
I'll still be here.
295
00:12:47,501 --> 00:12:48,501
Surprise!
296
00:12:49,501 --> 00:12:50,933
What's this?
297
00:12:50,968 --> 00:12:54,501
A piano. Come on,
play something for me.
298
00:12:54,536 --> 00:12:56,351
You play like an ángel.
299
00:12:56,386 --> 00:12:58,132
What are you doing?
300
00:12:58,167 --> 00:13:01,634
Making up for all the recitals
I missed in your childhood.
301
00:13:01,669 --> 00:13:03,432
So...
302
00:13:03,467 --> 00:13:05,234
I'm all ears, baby.
303
00:13:05,269 --> 00:13:06,251
Lay it on me.
304
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,234
I can't do this.
305
00:13:07,269 --> 00:13:08,199
Why not?
306
00:13:08,234 --> 00:13:11,367
Because I played the violin.
307
00:13:15,467 --> 00:13:17,100
All right, what's this about?
308
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:20,766
I need you
to go with me
309
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:23,167
to tell the headmaster
at Woodbridge
310
00:13:23,202 --> 00:13:25,332
what a great father
I was.
311
00:13:25,367 --> 00:13:27,250
Oh, you want me
to lie for you.
312
00:13:27,285 --> 00:13:29,098
No lie. I don't
want you to lie.
313
00:13:29,133 --> 00:13:32,367
Just, you know,
have some fun with the truth.
314
00:13:32,402 --> 00:13:34,101
I could do that.
315
00:13:34,136 --> 00:13:35,766
Oh, that's my girl.
316
00:13:35,801 --> 00:13:38,834
I used to have fun
with the truth all the time.
317
00:13:38,869 --> 00:13:40,732
Like when you missed
my sweet 16,
318
00:13:40,767 --> 00:13:42,834
I told all my friends
you were donating a kidney.
319
00:13:42,869 --> 00:13:44,965
I'm a giver.
320
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,766
Or when you didn't
come see me
321
00:13:46,801 --> 00:13:48,667
when I had the lead
in Oklahoma!,
322
00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:49,766
I told everyone
323
00:13:49,801 --> 00:13:51,434
you were stuck
in an avalanche.
324
00:13:51,469 --> 00:13:53,799
My worst nightmare.
325
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,834
Or when you skipped
my high school graduation,
326
00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:57,667
you were hunting Nazis
in Argentina.
327
00:13:57,702 --> 00:13:59,901
I hate Nazis.
328
00:13:59,936 --> 00:14:02,065
Always have.
329
00:14:02,100 --> 00:14:04,834
And then there was the day
that I found out
330
00:14:04,869 --> 00:14:06,933
everyone knew I was lying,
331
00:14:06,968 --> 00:14:08,901
and that's when
playing with the truth
332
00:14:08,936 --> 00:14:10,000
stopped being fun.
333
00:14:13,634 --> 00:14:16,133
Okay, don't do it for me.
334
00:14:16,168 --> 00:14:17,632
Do it for Hannah.
335
00:14:17,667 --> 00:14:20,767
Little Hannah, who loves
her big sister so much.
336
00:14:20,802 --> 00:14:24,432
Pwease, big sister Maya,
337
00:14:24,467 --> 00:14:27,234
I want to go to the good school.
338
00:14:29,133 --> 00:14:30,165
Fine,
339
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:32,968
but that's
the most annoying voice
340
00:14:33,003 --> 00:14:34,234
I've ever heard.
341
00:14:42,367 --> 00:14:46,067
So you were never married
to someone named Cholera?
342
00:14:46,102 --> 00:14:48,098
Well, thanks anyway.
343
00:14:48,133 --> 00:14:49,868
I hope you catch your rooster.
344
00:14:51,434 --> 00:14:52,566
Well, I give up.
345
00:14:52,601 --> 00:14:53,934
We've made
60 phone calls,
346
00:14:53,969 --> 00:14:55,232
and all we have
to show for it
347
00:14:55,267 --> 00:14:59,567
is a crick in my neck
and a recipe for possum.
348
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,998
Yeah.
349
00:15:03,033 --> 00:15:05,133
Yes, yes,
I'll accept the charges.
350
00:15:05,168 --> 00:15:06,000
I think it's her.
351
00:15:07,868 --> 00:15:09,766
Mrs. Hopper?
352
00:15:09,801 --> 00:15:12,232
Mrs. Cholera Joe Hopper?
353
00:15:12,267 --> 00:15:15,167
Oh! Oh, thanks
for returning my call.
354
00:15:15,202 --> 00:15:18,067
Uh, my friend and I
are huge fans
355
00:15:18,102 --> 00:15:19,300
of your husband's
music.
356
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:20,299
Put her on the box.
357
00:15:20,334 --> 00:15:21,534
Yeah, uh, one second,
one second.
358
00:15:21,569 --> 00:15:23,132
Uh, Mrs. Cholera Joe,
359
00:15:23,167 --> 00:15:25,434
we were wondering
if you could help us
360
00:15:25,469 --> 00:15:28,651
figure out the words
to one of his songs?
361
00:15:28,686 --> 00:15:31,834
Hold on,let me get my teeth.
362
00:15:31,869 --> 00:15:32,799
I can't believe
363
00:15:32,834 --> 00:15:34,884
we're talking
to the woman
364
00:15:34,919 --> 00:15:36,934
who inspired
"Chin Hair Mama."
365
00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:38,568
I'm here.
366
00:15:38,603 --> 00:15:40,132
Shh. Shh. Shh.
367
00:15:40,167 --> 00:15:42,334
Wait.These aren't my teeth.
368
00:15:42,369 --> 00:15:46,234
Damn raccoon.Scat!
369
00:15:46,269 --> 00:15:47,432
Mrs. Cholera Joe,
370
00:15:47,467 --> 00:15:50,133
in the song "Lazy eye,
swollen glands,"
371
00:15:50,168 --> 00:15:51,632
what are the words
372
00:15:51,667 --> 00:15:54,667
right after
"penny in my hat"?
373
00:15:54,702 --> 00:15:56,799
Gee, let me think.
374
00:15:56,834 --> 00:16:02,734
♪ Penny in my hatAnd a cold armadillo ♪
375
00:16:02,769 --> 00:16:03,766
What?
376
00:16:03,801 --> 00:16:06,634
"Cold armadillo!"
377
00:16:06,669 --> 00:16:07,899
"Cold armadillo?"
378
00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:10,367
Yep.You heard me.
379
00:16:10,402 --> 00:16:12,666
Of course.
Of course.
380
00:16:12,701 --> 00:16:14,534
The armadillo's
a nomadic mammal.
381
00:16:14,569 --> 00:16:15,833
It represents
382
00:16:15,868 --> 00:16:18,701
the poor man's
isolation in society.
383
00:16:18,736 --> 00:16:20,699
Oh. I-I knew that.
384
00:16:20,734 --> 00:16:23,499
You don'tknow nothing.
385
00:16:23,534 --> 00:16:25,799
The man never madeno sense.
386
00:16:25,834 --> 00:16:30,200
He drank gasolinestraight outta the pump.
387
00:16:30,235 --> 00:16:31,767
Don't you gotanything better
388
00:16:31,802 --> 00:16:33,033
to do with your time,
389
00:16:33,068 --> 00:16:34,666
ya skinny-ass ho
390
00:16:34,701 --> 00:16:40,200
and ya bald-headedfool?
391
00:16:40,235 --> 00:16:41,817
Hey, wait,
how did you know
392
00:16:41,852 --> 00:16:43,400
that we were
skinny and bald?
393
00:16:45,300 --> 00:16:49,032
Uh-oh.
394
00:16:49,067 --> 00:16:53,133
I just got
what they call the shine.
395
00:17:04,300 --> 00:17:05,432
Jack!
396
00:17:05,467 --> 00:17:07,032
Mr. Reilly...
397
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:08,732
This is my daughter Maya,
398
00:17:08,767 --> 00:17:10,968
winner of her fifth-grade
science fair.
399
00:17:11,003 --> 00:17:12,332
Hello, Maya.
400
00:17:12,367 --> 00:17:14,532
Hi. Nice to meet you.
401
00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,634
She carved a clock
out of a potato.
402
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,734
Still got it
on my desk.
403
00:17:18,769 --> 00:17:21,133
Please have a seat.
404
00:17:21,168 --> 00:17:22,299
So, Maya...
405
00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:24,534
your father tells me
that you work together.
406
00:17:24,569 --> 00:17:27,501
Yes, we do.
All day. Every day.
407
00:17:27,536 --> 00:17:30,734
It's fun.
We talk.
408
00:17:30,769 --> 00:17:33,532
Tell me, Maya,
409
00:17:33,567 --> 00:17:36,601
in what way
do you look up to your father?
410
00:17:36,636 --> 00:17:38,200
Would you like
to be more like him?
411
00:17:38,235 --> 00:17:40,634
If so, why?
If not, why not?
412
00:17:43,067 --> 00:17:45,467
Well, he's very determined.
413
00:17:45,502 --> 00:17:46,766
Very.
414
00:17:46,801 --> 00:17:49,399
And...almost compulsive
415
00:17:49,434 --> 00:17:50,834
about getting
the best out of life
416
00:17:50,869 --> 00:17:51,968
for his new daughter Hannah.
417
00:17:52,003 --> 00:17:53,701
I'd do anything.
418
00:17:53,736 --> 00:17:55,485
And...
419
00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:57,199
he...
420
00:17:57,234 --> 00:17:58,734
really likes waffles.
421
00:17:58,769 --> 00:18:00,351
Crazy for 'em.
422
00:18:00,386 --> 00:18:02,243
May I interrupt?
423
00:18:02,278 --> 00:18:04,065
Yes, please.
424
00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:05,534
Sometimes life
comes down
425
00:18:05,569 --> 00:18:06,901
to a defining
moment,
426
00:18:06,936 --> 00:18:08,199
which opens
your eyes
427
00:18:08,234 --> 00:18:10,968
and makes you see things
a whole new way.
428
00:18:11,003 --> 00:18:12,632
And that was...
429
00:18:12,667 --> 00:18:15,632
The fire, of course.
430
00:18:15,667 --> 00:18:18,534
That fire was
my wake-up call.
431
00:18:18,569 --> 00:18:20,132
From that point on,
432
00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:24,501
I devoted myself completely
to my little peanut, here.
433
00:18:24,536 --> 00:18:25,799
Uh, Dad...
434
00:18:25,834 --> 00:18:28,699
Her interests
became my interests.
435
00:18:28,734 --> 00:18:31,100
I remember helping her
memorize her lines
436
00:18:31,135 --> 00:18:33,467
when she got the lead
in Oh, Calcutta!
437
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,399
Oh, stop.
438
00:18:37,434 --> 00:18:40,100
And whether it was
her sweet 16
439
00:18:40,135 --> 00:18:42,732
or her high school graduation,
440
00:18:42,767 --> 00:18:44,834
I tell you,
it'd take an avalanche
441
00:18:44,869 --> 00:18:45,866
to keep me from being-
442
00:18:45,901 --> 00:18:47,300
That's it!
That's all I can take!
443
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:48,766
Wh-wh-what's wrong?
444
00:18:48,801 --> 00:18:52,833
H- H-Hannah...
445
00:18:52,868 --> 00:18:54,833
That's all
I can take
446
00:18:54,868 --> 00:18:57,367
before I tell this
sweet son of a bitch
447
00:18:57,402 --> 00:18:59,267
how much I love him!
448
00:19:01,534 --> 00:19:04,934
You are just
the best! Ah!
449
00:19:06,801 --> 00:19:08,132
Now, if you'll excuse me,
450
00:19:08,167 --> 00:19:12,434
I'm gonna step outside
before I get all gushy.
451
00:19:16,934 --> 00:19:18,501
Sweet girl.
452
00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:24,534
All those things she just said,
pretty powerful stuff.
453
00:19:25,934 --> 00:19:26,899
Huh?
454
00:19:26,934 --> 00:19:29,232
You must be very proud.
455
00:19:29,267 --> 00:19:36,601
Oh, yeah, well, uh,
not so much proud as...
456
00:19:36,636 --> 00:19:39,265
completely ashamed.
457
00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:42,683
I was a terrible father.
458
00:19:42,718 --> 00:19:46,032
I was never there for Maya.
459
00:19:46,067 --> 00:19:48,400
Look what I just
put her through.
460
00:19:48,435 --> 00:19:49,801
This was all one big show.
461
00:19:49,836 --> 00:19:51,365
Oh, I know.
462
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:54,767
I have a Master's
in Psychology...
463
00:19:54,802 --> 00:19:56,734
and a minor in Drama.
464
00:19:58,934 --> 00:20:01,834
Look, I-I-I'm just trying
so damn hard
465
00:20:01,869 --> 00:20:05,801
to get it right this time,
but...
466
00:20:07,033 --> 00:20:08,199
Sorry to take up your time.
467
00:20:08,234 --> 00:20:10,899
Jack, let me ask you
a question.
468
00:20:10,934 --> 00:20:13,100
How often
have you been to this school?
469
00:20:13,135 --> 00:20:16,133
Including these past two times?
470
00:20:16,168 --> 00:20:17,365
Two times.
471
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,617
And yet when you had
a child here for five years,
472
00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:22,443
you never showed up at all.
What does that tell you?
473
00:20:22,478 --> 00:20:25,234
Look, if we're gonna
go through this thing again,
474
00:20:25,269 --> 00:20:28,467
I'm taking my scotch back.
475
00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:41,567
Whoa...Whoa, okay.
476
00:20:41,602 --> 00:20:44,118
Whoa, okay
477
00:20:44,153 --> 00:20:46,599
Oh, God!
478
00:20:46,634 --> 00:20:47,934
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
479
00:20:47,969 --> 00:20:49,234
I was just-fire. Fire.
480
00:20:49,269 --> 00:20:53,065
Fire. Fire. Fire.
481
00:20:53,100 --> 00:20:55,532
So there's hope for Hannah
getting in here?
482
00:20:55,567 --> 00:20:59,367
Well, I have to admit,
your situation is unique,
483
00:20:59,402 --> 00:21:00,699
and Maya certainly did turn out
484
00:21:00,734 --> 00:21:03,417
to be a nice,
well-adjusted young woman.
485
00:21:03,452 --> 00:21:06,100
You want to know something?
She really is.
486
00:21:06,135 --> 00:21:07,299
I'll tell you,
487
00:21:07,334 --> 00:21:09,098
I'll be the happiest guy
in the world
488
00:21:09,133 --> 00:21:12,234
if Hannah turns out to be
half the woman Maya is.
489
00:21:12,269 --> 00:21:15,100
Intelligent, kind,
responsible...
490
00:21:15,135 --> 00:21:16,651
She's got it all.
491
00:21:16,686 --> 00:21:18,132
Do I smell smoke?
492
00:21:18,167 --> 00:21:20,601
No, this is on the level.
493
00:21:22,167 --> 00:21:24,167
Uh-oh.
494
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:37,868
This time, let's call it
the Jack Gallo wing.
495
00:21:51,534 --> 00:21:55,868
♪ Life keeps bringing me
Back to you ♪
496
00:21:55,903 --> 00:21:59,632
♪ Keeps bringing me home ♪
497
00:21:59,667 --> 00:22:04,483
♪ It don't matter
What I want to do ♪
498
00:22:04,518 --> 00:22:08,892
♪ 'Cause it's got
A mind of its own ♪
499
00:22:08,927 --> 00:22:13,267
♪ Life keeps bringing me
Back to you ♪
500
00:22:13,302 --> 00:22:14,868
♪ Yeah ♪♪
501
00:22:14,918 --> 00:22:19,468
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