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1
00:00:04,500 --> 00:00:06,234
Mom, guess what I found in your closet.
2
00:00:06,268 --> 00:00:08,069
It's Uncle Wayne's. I was
just holding it for him.
3
00:00:08,103 --> 00:00:10,738
You were holding your
high-school yearbook for him?
4
00:00:10,773 --> 00:00:11,739
Oh.
5
00:00:11,774 --> 00:00:14,042
Yeah, I don't know why.
6
00:00:14,076 --> 00:00:16,744
Oh, my God, look at your mom's hair...
7
00:00:16,779 --> 00:00:18,846
Totally rocking "The Rachel."
8
00:00:18,881 --> 00:00:21,682
Okay, I had that first. She copied me.
9
00:00:21,717 --> 00:00:24,619
Dina, you were captain
of the basketball team?
10
00:00:24,653 --> 00:00:26,020
Hell, yeah, I was.
11
00:00:26,055 --> 00:00:27,255
Check out those short shorts.
12
00:00:27,289 --> 00:00:29,690
She had to get two
haircuts to pull those off.
13
00:00:29,725 --> 00:00:31,526
Hey, one and a half.
14
00:00:34,163 --> 00:00:35,663
Little tip.
15
00:00:35,697 --> 00:00:38,132
Am I washing the glasses wrong, Stephanie?
16
00:00:38,167 --> 00:00:40,401
Well, I mean, it's not really
a matter of right and wrong,
17
00:00:40,436 --> 00:00:41,536
but, yes.
18
00:00:41,570 --> 00:00:44,205
Do you remember your training?
19
00:00:44,239 --> 00:00:47,809
You want to twist the wrist
gently but with authority.
20
00:00:47,843 --> 00:00:48,810
Mm.
21
00:00:48,844 --> 00:00:50,378
- Should I show you?
- Yeah.
22
00:00:50,412 --> 00:00:54,282
[Laughs]
23
00:00:54,316 --> 00:00:55,416
You see the difference?
24
00:00:55,451 --> 00:00:58,486
Not really. Can you show me some more?
25
00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:00,555
Okay.
26
00:01:00,589 --> 00:01:02,623
Mom, you were in the 420 Club?
27
00:01:02,658 --> 00:01:04,525
I guess that explains the other
thing I found in your closet.
28
00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:07,895
Who are you... Nancy Drew?
Stop going in my closet.
29
00:01:07,930 --> 00:01:10,064
Actually, what are you even doing here?
30
00:01:10,099 --> 00:01:11,999
- It's almost midnight.
- Okay.
31
00:01:12,034 --> 00:01:15,870
Oh, no, the stone fell
out of my engagement ring.
32
00:01:15,904 --> 00:01:17,872
Jennifer, I'm not blaming you for this.
33
00:01:17,906 --> 00:01:19,207
Thanks.
34
00:01:19,241 --> 00:01:21,008
But this is what happens
when you don't listen
35
00:01:21,043 --> 00:01:22,510
to my instructions the first time.
36
00:01:22,544 --> 00:01:24,612
I need a wrench.
37
00:01:24,646 --> 00:01:26,514
Ugh. Frank Perinsky.
38
00:01:26,548 --> 00:01:28,082
Oh, yeah.
39
00:01:28,117 --> 00:01:30,384
He just opened a sporting-goods
shop down by the old mall.
40
00:01:30,419 --> 00:01:32,186
What, he still lives in town?
41
00:01:32,221 --> 00:01:34,021
He was the hottest guy in high school.
42
00:01:34,056 --> 00:01:35,923
Yeah, he was attractive.
43
00:01:35,958 --> 00:01:39,393
- He was no Toby Rollins.
- Hmm.
44
00:01:39,428 --> 00:01:41,529
Uh, Jen, you've got customers.
45
00:01:41,563 --> 00:01:43,931
Jen? Jen?
46
00:01:43,966 --> 00:01:47,635
Frank Perinsky was so shy and broody.
47
00:01:47,669 --> 00:01:49,537
We lost our virginity to each other.
48
00:01:49,571 --> 00:01:51,205
It was so sweet.
49
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,175
We never told anyone because we
never wanted to lose the magic.
50
00:01:54,209 --> 00:01:57,912
It might've been the last
perfect moment in my life.
51
00:01:57,946 --> 00:02:00,548
Hurt like a son of a bitch.
52
00:02:00,582 --> 00:02:01,949
Frank Perinsky...
53
00:02:01,984 --> 00:02:05,086
I totally lost my virginity to that guy.
54
00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:06,954
What?
55
00:02:12,027 --> 00:02:14,095
Oh, my God. Frank was your first?
56
00:02:14,129 --> 00:02:15,963
Why did you tell me it was Todd Capell?
57
00:02:15,998 --> 00:02:17,465
I don't know. I lied.
58
00:02:17,499 --> 00:02:19,100
It feels dopey now,
59
00:02:19,134 --> 00:02:21,369
but Frank said that if we
told other people, we would...
60
00:02:21,403 --> 00:02:22,470
Lose the magic?
61
00:02:22,504 --> 00:02:25,973
Yeah. Wait. How did you... Oh, my God.
62
00:02:26,008 --> 00:02:27,241
- Really?
- Yeah.
63
00:02:27,276 --> 00:02:29,343
- You were spying on us?
- Wait. What?
64
00:02:29,378 --> 00:02:30,945
No, crazy.
65
00:02:30,979 --> 00:02:32,613
Frank was my first too.
66
00:02:32,648 --> 00:02:33,781
Yeah.
67
00:02:33,815 --> 00:02:36,050
He told me the exact
same things he told you.
68
00:02:36,084 --> 00:02:38,486
Did he tell you that
you were his first too?
69
00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:40,221
Son of a bitch.
70
00:02:40,255 --> 00:02:42,190
Mm.
71
00:02:42,224 --> 00:02:43,491
When?
72
00:02:43,525 --> 00:02:45,393
Tony Pasquali's Fourth of July party
73
00:02:45,427 --> 00:02:46,794
summer after sophomore year.
74
00:02:46,828 --> 00:02:48,496
Son of a bitch.
75
00:02:48,530 --> 00:02:51,332
Mm.
76
00:02:51,366 --> 00:02:53,434
Before or after the fireworks.
77
00:02:53,468 --> 00:02:56,204
- Before?
- Wha... damn...
78
00:02:56,238 --> 00:02:57,538
And ugh.
79
00:02:57,573 --> 00:02:59,807
What time exactly?
80
00:02:59,841 --> 00:03:01,442
I don't know. I don't want to know.
81
00:03:01,476 --> 00:03:02,643
- I do.
- So do I.
82
00:03:02,678 --> 00:03:04,245
- What time?
- I don't remember.
83
00:03:04,279 --> 00:03:05,246
Neither do I.
84
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:08,416
Mm.
85
00:03:08,450 --> 00:03:09,517
Frank cannot get away with this.
86
00:03:09,551 --> 00:03:10,618
No.
87
00:03:10,652 --> 00:03:11,819
You think you could get his address?
88
00:03:11,853 --> 00:03:13,354
Duh, I work
89
00:03:13,388 --> 00:03:16,991
for the nation's 8th-largest
parcel-delivery service, so...
90
00:03:17,025 --> 00:03:18,226
Maybe.
91
00:03:21,163 --> 00:03:22,697
Wow.
92
00:03:22,731 --> 00:03:25,166
This guys sounds like a grade
"A" douche bag.
93
00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:26,300
Both: Yeah.
94
00:03:26,335 --> 00:03:27,735
So what's the plan, ladies?
95
00:03:27,769 --> 00:03:29,337
We're gonna go to his house,
96
00:03:29,371 --> 00:03:32,006
and we're gonna tie him up
and weigh him down with stones,
97
00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,674
and then we're gonna throw him in the lake.
98
00:03:33,709 --> 00:03:35,476
We are not gonna do that.
99
00:03:35,510 --> 00:03:37,511
- We are not gonna do that.
- Nope.
100
00:03:37,546 --> 00:03:38,679
But when we're done with him,
101
00:03:38,714 --> 00:03:41,983
he is gonna wish he never, never, never...
102
00:03:42,017 --> 00:03:44,318
Stolen our sweet, sweet hymens.
103
00:03:44,353 --> 00:03:45,953
Hymens!
104
00:03:45,988 --> 00:03:48,389
Hymens!
105
00:03:50,192 --> 00:03:52,760
- We'll be right back.
- [Whispering] Shh! Shut up.
106
00:03:52,794 --> 00:03:55,062
- You shut up.
- Stop talking so loud.
107
00:03:55,097 --> 00:03:57,198
You're talking too loud.
108
00:03:57,232 --> 00:03:58,566
Do you have the stuff?
109
00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:00,301
Are you home, Frank?
110
00:04:00,335 --> 00:04:03,104
[Grunts] Take that!
111
00:04:03,138 --> 00:04:04,805
[Normal voice] You took my cherry.
112
00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,841
Here, take this cherry! [Laughs]
113
00:04:06,875 --> 00:04:08,976
- Ah!
- Take that!
114
00:04:09,011 --> 00:04:11,846
- Really?
- [Grunts]
115
00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:15,116
Oh, no. We're out of ammo.
116
00:04:15,150 --> 00:04:16,851
I got it.
117
00:04:16,885 --> 00:04:17,852
What are you doing?
118
00:04:17,886 --> 00:04:20,488
Oh, no. No, no, no.
119
00:04:20,522 --> 00:04:22,423
[Shrieks]
120
00:04:22,457 --> 00:04:24,992
I may have overcompensated.
121
00:04:25,027 --> 00:04:27,862
- [Both gasp]
- Crap, let's go! Let's go.
122
00:04:27,896 --> 00:04:30,698
[Tires squealing]
123
00:04:30,732 --> 00:04:32,800
I'm very disappointed in you, Jeff!
124
00:04:32,834 --> 00:04:34,201
Who's out there?
125
00:04:34,236 --> 00:04:35,703
And what is going on?
126
00:04:35,737 --> 00:04:38,539
Run! Run!
127
00:04:38,573 --> 00:04:40,107
Where are you going?
128
00:04:44,416 --> 00:04:46,517
I'm telling you... The stone's a fake.
129
00:04:46,552 --> 00:04:47,819
A fake.
130
00:04:47,853 --> 00:04:49,887
What kind of idiot do you think I am?
131
00:04:49,922 --> 00:04:52,824
That's a family heirloom. My
grandfather bought that ring.
132
00:04:52,858 --> 00:04:55,560
My mistake. Your grandfather's an idiot.
133
00:04:55,594 --> 00:04:57,829
I can't believe it.
134
00:04:57,863 --> 00:04:59,564
All these years I pitied my friends
135
00:04:59,598 --> 00:05:01,399
'cause my ring was so
much nicer than theirs,
136
00:05:01,433 --> 00:05:05,002
and now your idiot
grandfather's taken that away.
137
00:05:05,037 --> 00:05:06,671
Jeweler's words, not mine.
138
00:05:08,941 --> 00:05:11,042
Jennifer Doyle?
139
00:05:12,845 --> 00:05:16,113
[Scoffs] Frank Perinsky?
140
00:05:16,148 --> 00:05:19,016
What... What are you doing here?
141
00:05:19,051 --> 00:05:21,686
Well, I found this bag on my front lawn.
142
00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:25,556
I did not know you still lived here.
143
00:05:25,591 --> 00:05:26,657
[Scoffs]
144
00:05:26,692 --> 00:05:28,860
I saw you and Dina Simac last night.
145
00:05:28,894 --> 00:05:31,863
That was...
146
00:05:31,897 --> 00:05:34,365
So immature of us. I'm sorry.
147
00:05:34,399 --> 00:05:36,234
- No, no. Stop.
- We...
148
00:05:36,268 --> 00:05:38,069
The only apology I came here for
149
00:05:38,103 --> 00:05:40,771
was the one that I need to give to you.
150
00:05:40,806 --> 00:05:42,707
Obviously, you guys
figured out what a jackass
151
00:05:42,741 --> 00:05:45,209
I was in high school, so I totally deserved
152
00:05:45,244 --> 00:05:48,779
every part of that super-weird
revenge thing last night.
153
00:05:50,315 --> 00:05:53,718
Well, at least I talked Dina
out of pooping in your bushes.
154
00:05:53,752 --> 00:05:54,719
[Laughs]
155
00:05:54,753 --> 00:05:55,853
No, you didn't.
156
00:05:55,888 --> 00:05:57,321
Wha...
157
00:05:57,356 --> 00:05:59,590
Look, Jennifer, that Fourth of July,
158
00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:01,792
that was just crazy and ridiculous.
159
00:06:01,827 --> 00:06:04,328
And I am so sorry for
being a complete tool.
160
00:06:04,363 --> 00:06:06,430
I should've spent the rest of that night
161
00:06:06,465 --> 00:06:08,165
begging you to be my girlfriend.
162
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,134
It's probably my biggest
regret in high school...
163
00:06:10,168 --> 00:06:12,870
Well, that and my... my frosted tips.
164
00:06:12,905 --> 00:06:14,872
You mean your douche-bag horns?
165
00:06:14,907 --> 00:06:17,275
Oh! Douche-bag horns?
166
00:06:17,309 --> 00:06:20,144
Yeah, look who's talking,
miss "I invented The Rachel."
167
00:06:20,178 --> 00:06:22,813
Hey, I had that haircut
six months before she did.
168
00:06:22,848 --> 00:06:26,350
It's amazing seeing you.
169
00:06:26,385 --> 00:06:28,252
You know, I still think
about you every time I hear
170
00:06:28,287 --> 00:06:30,121
Only Want To Be With You on the radio?
171
00:06:30,155 --> 00:06:32,356
Oh, my God.
172
00:06:32,391 --> 00:06:35,192
Only Want To Be With You...
That is the best.
173
00:06:35,227 --> 00:06:37,094
Let me take you to dinner.
174
00:06:37,129 --> 00:06:40,298
Let me prove to you that I'm not
the idiot I was in high school.
175
00:06:40,332 --> 00:06:42,366
Yeah, you know, I don't
know about that Frank.
176
00:06:42,401 --> 00:06:43,601
It's...
177
00:06:43,635 --> 00:06:45,469
He thinks he can charm
me into going out with him
178
00:06:45,504 --> 00:06:47,038
after he betrayed Dina and me?
179
00:06:47,072 --> 00:06:48,272
Ha!
180
00:06:48,307 --> 00:06:51,375
The two of us swore we'd take him down...
181
00:06:51,410 --> 00:06:55,279
Which is why I can't tell
her I'm going out with him.
182
00:06:58,684 --> 00:07:00,217
What is it, sweetheart?
183
00:07:00,252 --> 00:07:03,120
On the phone, you sounded
like you'd seen a ghost.
184
00:07:03,155 --> 00:07:06,090
No, Mom, not this time.
185
00:07:06,124 --> 00:07:08,526
It's about Grandma's engagement ring.
186
00:07:09,928 --> 00:07:13,397
Oh, dear. I knew this day might come.
187
00:07:13,432 --> 00:07:16,167
- Huh?
- What are you talking about?
188
00:07:16,201 --> 00:07:17,535
What are you talking about?
189
00:07:17,569 --> 00:07:20,137
Stephanie's ring is a fake.
190
00:07:20,172 --> 00:07:22,306
- Who told you that?
- A jeweler.
191
00:07:22,341 --> 00:07:23,741
Oh, a jeweler told you that?
192
00:07:23,775 --> 00:07:26,043
Suddenly they're the experts now?
193
00:07:26,078 --> 00:07:27,445
How did this even happen?
194
00:07:27,479 --> 00:07:29,580
I was showing Jennifer
how to clean a glass.
195
00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:31,315
Well, there's your problem right there.
196
00:07:31,350 --> 00:07:34,318
Cleaning glasses with a
priceless family heirloom?
197
00:07:34,353 --> 00:07:37,021
She's right. What was I thinking?
198
00:07:37,055 --> 00:07:38,522
Jennifer and her soap spots.
199
00:07:38,557 --> 00:07:40,992
No, Mom, this isn't Stephanie's fault.
200
00:07:41,026 --> 00:07:43,361
- What's going on?
- All right.
201
00:07:43,395 --> 00:07:45,062
In that case, you can thank me.
202
00:07:45,097 --> 00:07:48,032
I gave you a replica of
your grandmother's ring
203
00:07:48,066 --> 00:07:49,200
and kept the real one.
204
00:07:49,234 --> 00:07:50,434
Why would you do that?
205
00:07:50,469 --> 00:07:52,103
Well, I wasn't sure if the relationship
206
00:07:52,137 --> 00:07:55,272
was going to work out, and
that ring is priceless...
207
00:07:55,307 --> 00:07:57,441
Or at least $14,000 with inflation.
208
00:07:57,476 --> 00:08:00,344
I couldn't risk it ending
up in some pawnshop in Reno.
209
00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:02,380
I can't believe this.
210
00:08:02,414 --> 00:08:04,749
I'll get you the real one.
211
00:08:07,386 --> 00:08:09,353
There. No harm done.
212
00:08:09,388 --> 00:08:13,557
"No harm done"? Oh, God,
Mom, it's still warm.
213
00:08:13,592 --> 00:08:15,259
When you gave me that ring,
214
00:08:15,293 --> 00:08:17,228
you said the most heartfelt things
215
00:08:17,262 --> 00:08:19,797
about me and Stephanie
and our future together.
216
00:08:19,831 --> 00:08:22,733
I copied what you said
in my vows word for word.
217
00:08:22,768 --> 00:08:24,435
Oh, that's why you called yourself
218
00:08:24,469 --> 00:08:26,637
a big handsome bear of a man.
219
00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:29,306
No, I-I wrote that part.
220
00:08:29,341 --> 00:08:31,742
To find out that it was all built on a lie,
221
00:08:31,777 --> 00:08:34,612
I mean, I can't believe you
didn't have faith in Stephanie.
222
00:08:34,646 --> 00:08:35,846
Well, that's not true.
223
00:08:35,881 --> 00:08:39,450
I have all the faith in
the world in Stephanie.
224
00:08:39,484 --> 00:08:40,851
You don't believe in me?
225
00:08:40,886 --> 00:08:43,788
What? Of course I do.
226
00:08:43,822 --> 00:08:45,456
Let's not grill the poor woman.
227
00:08:45,490 --> 00:08:46,757
She has expressed faith in me,
228
00:08:46,792 --> 00:08:48,259
and I think that we should honor that.
229
00:08:48,293 --> 00:08:52,029
I'm sorry, dear, but your
first wedding was a disaster.
230
00:08:52,064 --> 00:08:54,065
And now you have the real ring.
231
00:08:54,099 --> 00:08:56,233
I think things worked
out perfectly, don't you?
232
00:08:56,268 --> 00:08:59,236
No, mom, I don't. I really don't.
233
00:09:01,206 --> 00:09:03,874
Did you see how guilty my mom looked?
234
00:09:03,909 --> 00:09:06,610
This is gonna be awesome!
235
00:09:06,645 --> 00:09:08,345
When Mom feels guilty about something,
236
00:09:08,380 --> 00:09:11,182
she tries buying your
forgiveness with gifts.
237
00:09:11,216 --> 00:09:13,918
In high school, she slammed
my hand in the car door,
238
00:09:13,952 --> 00:09:16,120
and I turned those mangled fingers
239
00:09:16,154 --> 00:09:18,055
into a German Shepherd and a go-kart.
240
00:09:18,090 --> 00:09:20,558
Emotionally blackmailing your own mother?
241
00:09:20,592 --> 00:09:21,892
I know, right?
242
00:09:21,927 --> 00:09:25,062
And this is the worst
she's ever betrayed me.
243
00:09:25,097 --> 00:09:27,832
If I play this smart, who knows?
244
00:09:27,866 --> 00:09:29,667
It's like I'm on the Price Is Right.
245
00:09:29,701 --> 00:09:31,168
Are you sure about this?
246
00:09:31,203 --> 00:09:32,403
Yeah.
247
00:09:32,437 --> 00:09:35,172
I've seen that show, like, 100 times.
248
00:09:35,207 --> 00:09:37,141
Oh.
249
00:09:38,310 --> 00:09:41,112
- No.
- [Both laughing]
250
00:09:41,146 --> 00:09:42,313
- No way.
- Mm.
251
00:09:42,347 --> 00:09:43,681
- This is fun.
- Yeah, it is.
252
00:09:43,715 --> 00:09:45,249
Well, when are we gonna do this again?
253
00:09:45,283 --> 00:09:46,650
You know, I don't know.
254
00:09:46,685 --> 00:09:48,152
I feel kind of weird
'cause I didn't tell Dina,
255
00:09:48,186 --> 00:09:51,222
and I just... I really don't like
keeping things from her, so...
256
00:09:51,256 --> 00:09:53,958
Well, if you think it'll hurt her,
257
00:09:53,992 --> 00:09:57,428
maybe you shouldn't tell her.
258
00:09:57,462 --> 00:09:59,630
Yeah, maybe you're right.
259
00:09:59,664 --> 00:10:01,599
I guess what Jennifer
doesn't know can't hurt her.
260
00:10:01,633 --> 00:10:03,134
I'm just thinking of her.
261
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:09,442
Hey, stranger. Haven't see you in forever.
262
00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:11,344
I know, right?
263
00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:12,979
Do you want to hang out tonight after work?
264
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:14,714
- Tonight.
- Yeah, tonight, tonight.
265
00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:17,884
Um, ooh, you know what?
I have a Gretchen thing.
266
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:19,452
Mm.
267
00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:21,554
Yeah, it's just dumb
daughter stuff. Don't ask.
268
00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:23,823
Um, what about tomorrow night, though?
269
00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:28,361
Mm, tomorrow... Work is crazy, you know,
270
00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:31,197
with, like, the holidays
coming up and all that.
271
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:32,265
In five months?
272
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:33,566
What are you, the holiday police?
273
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:36,269
[Both laugh]
274
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:37,537
[Both laugh]
275
00:10:37,571 --> 00:10:39,072
I just think it's great that you and Dina
276
00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:40,707
have remained friends
after all these years.
277
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:41,908
Oh, yeah.
278
00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:44,210
I mean, we hit a rough patch a while back.
279
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:46,446
Believe me, it took a lot of candy corn
280
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,281
to get back on her good side.
281
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:49,749
Candy corn?
282
00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:51,517
I didn't know anybody ate
'em outside of Halloween.
283
00:10:51,552 --> 00:10:54,487
Oh, yeah. She loves candy corn.
284
00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:58,291
She says they're her favorite vegetable.
285
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,026
Candy corn?
286
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:01,527
Are you frickin' kidding me?
287
00:11:01,562 --> 00:11:03,896
Candy corn? This is my favorite.
288
00:11:03,931 --> 00:11:05,465
- Really?
- Yeah.
289
00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:07,867
It's mine too. I always say
it's my favorite vegetable.
290
00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:10,370
That is what I always say,
291
00:11:10,404 --> 00:11:12,338
and Jennifer always makes fun of me for it.
292
00:11:12,373 --> 00:11:13,740
Oh, come on.
293
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:16,042
What could Jennifer possibly
think is better than candy corn?
294
00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:19,245
Pepperoni sticks? How did you know?
295
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:22,348
I just thought you might like what I like.
296
00:11:22,383 --> 00:11:24,550
[Scoffs]
297
00:11:26,754 --> 00:11:28,388
Thanks for coming, sweetheart.
298
00:11:32,393 --> 00:11:35,161
I fell terrible about
this misunderstanding.
299
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,263
Do you know how painful it is to find out
300
00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:38,998
that my own mother doesn't believe in me?
301
00:11:39,033 --> 00:11:40,566
It's heartbreaking.
302
00:11:40,601 --> 00:11:43,603
How can I make it up to you, sweetie?
303
00:11:43,637 --> 00:11:47,573
I don't know what you could possibly do.
304
00:11:47,608 --> 00:11:49,409
Well, I did think of one thing,
305
00:11:49,443 --> 00:11:51,611
but it seems so mercenary.
306
00:11:51,645 --> 00:11:52,712
I don't want it to seem
307
00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:54,747
like I can just buy my way out of this.
308
00:11:54,782 --> 00:11:56,182
I'm listening.
309
00:11:56,216 --> 00:12:00,486
Well, you and Stephanie
never had a proper honeymoon.
310
00:12:00,521 --> 00:12:02,688
How about I send you and Stephanie
311
00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:06,559
on a second honeymoon to Hawaii?
312
00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:08,227
Well...
313
00:12:08,262 --> 00:12:11,931
Wayne Doyle, come on down!
314
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:13,366
Hawaii?
315
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,868
Your mother is sending us to Hawaii?
316
00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:17,103
That's amazing!
317
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:19,372
Yeah, I know.
318
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,707
- We're not taking it.
- What are you talking about?
319
00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:23,643
You never take the first showcase.
320
00:12:23,677 --> 00:12:26,112
It's the second showcase
that always has a car.
321
00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,313
Everyone knows that.
322
00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:28,881
Okay, that's crazy.
323
00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:30,983
She's sending us on a free trip to Hawaii.
324
00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:33,753
We haven't been on a
vacation in three years.
325
00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:36,322
Wayne, I need this.
326
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:38,858
- Yeah, but...
- I need a vacation!
327
00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,793
- Sweetie.
- Okay. Okay.
328
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:46,833
[Humming]
329
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:48,568
- You seem happy.
- What?
330
00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:51,404
Oh, no, I'm just clearing
my throat, you know.
331
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:54,507
- [Clearing throat]
- Oh.
332
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:55,575
Well, what about you, though?
333
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:57,343
You've been smiley pants all night.
334
00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:59,645
Oh, that's only 'cause
I'm drinking for free.
335
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:01,581
I am drinking for free, right?
336
00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:04,016
- Yeah.
- Okay.
337
00:13:04,051 --> 00:13:06,853
[Cell phone playing ringtone
Only Want To Be With You]
338
00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:08,688
Is that Only Want To Be With You?
339
00:13:08,722 --> 00:13:10,756
Yep.
340
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:13,359
Why is your ringtone Only
Want To Be With You?
341
00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:14,527
I was... you know what?
342
00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:16,696
I was just going through some old CDs
343
00:13:16,730 --> 00:13:20,366
and listening to some of,
you know, our old songs,
344
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:23,169
and I'm going out with Frank.
345
00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:24,770
What? Are you kidding?
346
00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:27,106
- It's not serious. I'm sorry.
- Ugh.
347
00:13:27,141 --> 00:13:29,442
Look, it was stupid to
keep it from you. I know.
348
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:30,977
I was just... I was kind of embarrassed.
349
00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:32,979
- Do you hate me?
- No, I don't hate you.
350
00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:35,648
I have to admit I'm a little disappointed.
351
00:13:37,351 --> 00:13:41,287
[Cell phone playing ringtone
Only Want To Be With You]
352
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,288
Oh, my God!
353
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,257
You are going out with Frank too!
354
00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:45,858
What kind of a friend
does something like that?
355
00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:47,527
I could ask you the same question.
356
00:13:47,561 --> 00:13:49,395
Ugh.
357
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:50,630
It's so weird.
358
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:51,898
Like, there's so many people in here,
359
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:53,199
and none of you have a cell phone.
360
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:54,500
Like, how did you Snapchat?
361
00:13:54,535 --> 00:13:55,801
We didn't.
362
00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:58,738
Wow. But you look so happy...
363
00:13:58,772 --> 00:14:00,206
Not so much right now.
364
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,307
What's going on?
365
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:02,842
You don't need to know details.
366
00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:04,944
You just need to know that
Dina's wrong, and I'm right.
367
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:07,813
Oh, and now you're lying
to your own daughter.
368
00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:09,649
When does it stop, Jennifer?
369
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:12,685
Wow. So much for B.F. forever heart.
370
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:14,320
Oh, please. That's so cliche.
371
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,721
Everybody wrote that.
372
00:14:15,756 --> 00:14:18,524
Did everyone write, "Jennifer,
you are my soul mate.
373
00:14:18,559 --> 00:14:21,060
"I never would've gotten
through junior year without you.
374
00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:22,995
"That was the hardest time of my life.
375
00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:25,198
"You are the freakin' queen of advice.
376
00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:28,501
- Love you, skank."
- Skank.
377
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,269
You were a skank.
378
00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:31,871
You were a bigger skank.
379
00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:33,873
That's so sweet.
380
00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:35,341
I'm sorry.
381
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,376
Hey, there, sports fans,
382
00:14:37,411 --> 00:14:40,880
come on down to the grand
opening of Perinsky sports...
383
00:14:40,914 --> 00:14:42,782
He's the skank.
384
00:14:42,816 --> 00:14:44,450
For all your sporting-equipment needs.
385
00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:47,320
I suddenly have an urge to
go to a sporting-goods store.
386
00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:50,223
- What about you?
- Yeah, let's do it.
387
00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:55,061
- Hi.
- How can I help you?
388
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:57,129
We're here to see Frank Perinsky.
389
00:14:57,164 --> 00:14:59,565
Oh, sorry. He's out for the moment.
390
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,835
Speak of the devil.
391
00:15:02,869 --> 00:15:05,638
- Hey, baby.
- Son of a bitch!
392
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:09,208
Okay, so what are we gonna do?
393
00:15:09,243 --> 00:15:11,544
I mean, we could be the bigger
people and just walk away.
394
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,045
Well, that doesn't sound like us at all.
395
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,880
I know. It felt wrong saying it.
396
00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:18,384
Listen, Frank ruined our grand opening.
397
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,287
It's only fair we ruin his.
398
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,289
All right.
399
00:15:24,858 --> 00:15:27,260
So you buy two, you get one for free.
400
00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:28,761
- Okay.
- All this is...
401
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:30,129
Hi, Frank.
402
00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:32,131
Well, hello, Jennifer.
403
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:35,034
I'm glad you came by.
404
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:37,570
Hey, can you, uh, give me a second?
405
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:38,804
- Sure.
- Thanks.
406
00:15:38,839 --> 00:15:41,774
Yeah.
407
00:15:41,808 --> 00:15:43,943
- Hey.
- Hey, you.
408
00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:45,411
- Hi.
- I came to give you a kiss
409
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,813
- for good luck for opening.
- Oh!
410
00:15:47,848 --> 00:15:49,315
Hey, um, do you know what
the most romantic spot
411
00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:50,783
in the store is?
412
00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:53,052
- Where?
- Aisle three. Meet me there.
413
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:55,388
Yeah. [Growls]
414
00:15:55,422 --> 00:15:56,555
- Hey, hon?
- Hmm?
415
00:15:56,590 --> 00:15:58,424
Can you, um, go get me the invoice
416
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:01,327
for the elliptical machine
that just came in this morning?
417
00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:02,762
- Sure.
- I think it's in the stockroom.
418
00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:04,864
- Okay.
- Thanks, babe.
419
00:16:10,904 --> 00:16:13,806
I guess you figured it out again.
420
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:17,610
Look, I'm... I'm sorry...
421
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:19,845
But...
422
00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:21,180
You're just so beautiful...
423
00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:22,448
- Mm.
- Both of you.
424
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:25,184
- Aw.
- And... and...
425
00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:26,452
I'm so weak.
426
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,621
Oh.
427
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:29,889
And before you yell at me,
428
00:16:29,923 --> 00:16:31,557
just know that there are
children in this store.
429
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:32,825
Oh, Frank.
430
00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:34,894
We're not here because we're angry.
431
00:16:34,928 --> 00:16:36,962
I mean, we were at first, of course, but...
432
00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:38,030
Yeah, we were.
433
00:16:38,065 --> 00:16:41,033
We realized this could be fun.
434
00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:42,535
[Chuckles]
435
00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:45,071
- Fun?
- A lot of fun.
436
00:16:46,340 --> 00:16:48,140
I like fun.
437
00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:50,843
Is there somewhere in the store we can go
438
00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:53,045
where there aren't any kids?
439
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:55,147
They're not allowed in the gun section.
440
00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:56,882
Ooh.
441
00:16:56,917 --> 00:16:59,018
But I think my office would be better.
442
00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:00,553
I mean, we were talking
about it, and we thought,
443
00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:02,088
"God, why should just one of us have you
444
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:03,222
when both of us want you?"
445
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:04,557
I mean, that's just selfish. Right?
446
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:06,025
We're anything but selfish.
447
00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:07,593
Finally, somebody gets me.
448
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:09,428
Oh, you're gonna get got, all right.
449
00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:12,365
It's about to get much, much better.
450
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:17,002
- Mommy!
- Guys.
451
00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:18,604
[Knocking on door] Guys, open the door.
452
00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:20,639
Guys?
453
00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:29,115
Frank, I found the...
454
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,116
Not again.
455
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:31,617
Attention, shoppers...
456
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:33,819
Perinsky Sports is happy to announce
457
00:17:33,854 --> 00:17:36,055
their grand opening super special.
458
00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:39,892
For the next ten minutes,
everything in the store is free.
459
00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:42,361
No, no. No, it's not.
460
00:17:42,396 --> 00:17:44,630
- [Customers talking excitedly]
- Don't listen to her.
461
00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:47,900
Put... put that back! No, give me that.
462
00:17:49,061 --> 00:17:52,596
Maggie, Wayne and I have
been thinking about it,
463
00:17:52,630 --> 00:17:55,766
and we would love to take
you up on your generous offer.
464
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,535
It's a real honeymoon in Hawaii!
465
00:17:58,569 --> 00:18:01,671
Well, that's wonderful
news, and you're so welcome.
466
00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:04,908
I was so worried I'd
made the wrong gesture.
467
00:18:04,942 --> 00:18:06,943
I had something that I
thought was even better,
468
00:18:06,978 --> 00:18:09,713
but I wasn't sure how
you... Well, never mind.
469
00:18:09,747 --> 00:18:11,348
You'll love Hawaii.
470
00:18:11,382 --> 00:18:12,749
- Better?
- No, no.
471
00:18:12,784 --> 00:18:14,284
You've already accepted Hawaii.
472
00:18:14,318 --> 00:18:15,786
Wait, wait, wait. That wasn't binding.
473
00:18:15,820 --> 00:18:17,687
We don't want Hawaii. Hawaii's crap.
474
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:18,822
We were just being polite.
475
00:18:18,856 --> 00:18:21,091
But the hurt is still too deep.
476
00:18:21,125 --> 00:18:23,493
I fear I'll never trust again.
477
00:18:23,528 --> 00:18:25,028
Wayne, what are you doing?
478
00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:27,063
This is it. Showcase number two.
479
00:18:27,098 --> 00:18:29,666
Okay. Forget Hawaii.
480
00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:31,568
I know exactly what you need.
481
00:18:31,602 --> 00:18:33,570
It's a dune buggy. It's
a dune buggy. It's a...
482
00:18:33,604 --> 00:18:35,672
- A poem.
- A what now?
483
00:18:35,706 --> 00:18:37,707
Hawaii was nothing but
a cheap, craven attempt
484
00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:40,777
to buy your forgiveness, and
you were right to reject it.
485
00:18:43,147 --> 00:18:46,383
This poem speaks from my heart.
486
00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:49,686
And when you read it, you'll
know just how proud I am
487
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,422
of you and Stephanie and how
much I believe in your love.
488
00:18:52,457 --> 00:18:53,890
A poem?
489
00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:56,293
I overbid.
490
00:18:56,327 --> 00:18:58,328
First rule of Price Is Right...
491
00:18:58,362 --> 00:18:59,963
Never overbid.
492
00:18:59,997 --> 00:19:04,067
This is worth ten Hawaiis.
493
00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:07,070
I'm so happy we were able to work this out.
494
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:10,073
Now, both of you, come give Mommy a hug.
495
00:19:16,414 --> 00:19:19,683
Oh.
496
00:19:21,252 --> 00:19:22,752
Check...
497
00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:24,221
And mate.
498
00:19:24,255 --> 00:19:26,990
Okay, so moving forward so we
don't go through this again,
499
00:19:27,024 --> 00:19:30,093
we should probably clear the
air on who we've slept with.
500
00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:33,296
Good idea. I'll start. Carter Pedersen.
501
00:19:33,331 --> 00:19:35,398
You're clear. Scott Calish.
502
00:19:35,433 --> 00:19:38,502
Technically, no. Michael Mooney.
503
00:19:38,536 --> 00:19:40,837
- Michael Mooney.
- Oh, no.
504
00:19:40,872 --> 00:19:42,906
- Yeah.
- Wait.
505
00:19:42,940 --> 00:19:46,109
Tell me it wasn't junior prom.
506
00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:47,844
This is a bad game.
507
00:19:47,879 --> 00:19:49,813
Very bad game.
508
00:19:50,180 --> 00:19:51,838
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509
00:19:51,888 --> 00:19:56,438
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