All language subtitles for I Love You America s01e01 Meghan Phelps Roper.eng

[bright music]

? ?

? I love you, America,
from sea to shinin' sea ?

? From the East Coast
to the West ?

? And whatever's in between ?

[laughter]
? I love you, America ?

? The ol' red, white,
and blue ?

? I love you, America ?

? And everyone in you, wow! ?

? I love your men,
I love your women ?

? I love straights
and I love gays ?

? I love all the Americans ?

? From places far away ?

? I love you if you're Haitian
or Korean or Irish ?

? I love that you're Mexican
and I love that you're from ?

Afghani--Lib--Turk--

- North Carolina.
- ? Carolina ?

? I love black people,
I love whites ?

? And Asians too ?

? I love Latinos, Muslims,
Christians ?

? Buddhists and the Jew-ews ?

[laughter]
Wait a minute.

What am I doing?

I'm listing kinds of people?

I-I'm categorizing
human beings

and putting them
into little individual boxes.

I mean, whether I mean it or not,

I'm part of the problem.

? I love you,
mailman person ?

? I love you,
bus driver, too ?

? I love you, police officer ?

Well, that's-- yeah,
that's easy for me to say.

I mean, I can walk into
any encounter with the police

assuming they're gonna
serve and protect me.

That's my luxury.
That's called white privilege.

You know, a few years ago,
I was sitting around,

and I go, "Wow,
there's a real epidemic

of cops murdering
unarmed black teenagers."

And then I realized...
that's not an epidemic.

That's how it's always been.

I'm just aware of it now
because of social media.

And I was so fucking ashamed.

And... fuck!
I just wanna be a good ally.

How can I be a good ally?

It's not my job to teach you
how to be a good ally.

Right. No. I know.
You're right, of course.

But there's no way
I can know

unless someone whose experience
I could never understand

is willing to--
- Sarah. Seriously?

Take a class or something.
I'm busy.

I'm not all black people.
I'm just me.

I'm just Retta.

? I love that
about you-ou ?

? I love you, liberal bubble ?

? I love you, racist South ?

- Hey.
- ? I love you all so much ?

? I wanna put you
in my mou-ou-th ?

? I love you, California ?

? New York City too ?

? I love whatever
this state is ?

Uh... I said California, right?

? I love you, Indians ?

I mean Native Americans.

Oh! First Americans.

Oh, I can't keep up.

I said I can keep up.

Ha-ha.
I'm great!

[laughter]
? I love you, America ?

? Amber waves of grain ?

? Those cornfields
and those cornfields and-- ?

Jesus Christ,
there's so many cornfields.

We make so much corn.

This is crazy.
Holy shit! Fuck!

? I love you, America ?

? Purple mountains' majesty ?

? From the Great Lakes
to the Great Plains ?

To America's pussy,
the Grand Canyon!

[laughter]

? I love you, people ?

? Who didn't sign waivers
for this ?

? I love super hot guys ?

? And I love big, fat
pieces of shi-iit ?

[laughter]

? I lo-- ?
Oh, that--[coughs]

Oh, that's too high.
? I, I, I ?

[notes lowering]
? I, I, I ?

? I love you, America ?

? The ol' red, white, and blue ?

? I love you, America ?

? But not everything you do ?

You know, sometimes I just--
I get really, really mad at you

and the stupid shit
that you do

and how you vote
for these rich fucks

that lie to your faces and then
systematically rape you

of your rights and your job
and your health care,

and then you call me
Hollywood elite?

Dude, I'm from
fucking New Hampshire.

And you're mad at me
for wanting the best for you

and for getting pissed

when you vote against
your own best interests?

I'm caring about you.

I'm condescending to you.

[laughter]

Oh.

[snap]

[whimsical music]

? ?

MAN: ? Shave it off,
stay alive, open wide ?

? Show us how to conquer first
and then divide ?

CHORUS: ? Don't know if we're
stayin' long, stayin' long ?

? Used to staying weak ?

? And now we're
staying strong ?

? We don't wanna go
where we do not belong ?

? Lonely as the day is long,
day is long ?

? ?

MAN: Hey, it's my buddy
and yours,

Sarah Silverman!

[cheers and applause]

Hello.

Hello.

Thank you.

[clears throat]

Hi, everybody.
Oh, my gosh.

Thank you.
Whoa, first show!

What's it gonna be?
I don't know!

[laughter]

Sometimes it's just gonna be

aggressively dumb and silly,

and sometimes
it'll be super funny.

But, of course,
that's subjective.

And, uh...

sometimes it's gonna
be totally earnest,

and you'll go into it
expecting it to be funny

and you'll be like...
[chuckling]

And then you'll be like,
"Oh."

That's why I want to manage
your expectations,

because when we
don't know what to expect,

our brains naturally
kind of, like,

fill that gap with something,

and you all are
shittier writers than me.

[laughter]
So you're gonna

imagine something,
and you'll get tied to

whatever shitty thing
you're imagining,

and it's not gonna be that.

So, really, you're just setting
yourself up for disappointment

if you came into this with
any idea of how it should be.

I mean, what are you imagining?
What's a...

like, what's a first show bit

in your adorable
pedestrian minds, like, uh...

"Ooh, I'm so nervous.
My friend told me

I should picture
the audience naked."

Some bit like that?
Um...

No, no, it's great.
It's...

I can tell you why
you thought of it.

It's because you've seen
it before on television.

It's, uh... it's a very
well-trodden premise,

especially in, like,
first episodes of shows.

But, no, I don't need to
imagine the audience naked.

I'm not nervous.
I've been doing this awhile.

And, uh-- but I would like to

see some actual naked people,
um, because we can.

We're streaming.
So why not test the limits

of what we can do
and see what's what?

So I brought in a couple
naked people.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Yeah.
[cheers and applause]

Okay, so your name is Scott.

- Yep.
- Hi, Scott.

And, uh, and these
are your pubes, et al?

[audience whooping]

Yep.

This is so exciting,
you know?

We're on Hulu,
and the human body

isn't something that Hulu
deems unviewable,

so here is Scott's pubic hair
and his penis.

[cheers and applause]

Does it make for better TV?
Probably not.

But I find it interesting,
our taboo human outer shells.

Great penis, Scott.
- Thank you.

Isn't it--
it's interesting, right?

Because that's jarring.
It was jarring.

And, uh... and
we've all seen nudity,

but it's always sexualized.
And it's funny,

because it's actually jarring
to see clinical nudity,

like there is a penis.

[laughter]

Yeah. All right. Wait.

This might be a good time
to do this.

There are gonna be
some moments on this show

when you feel uncomfortable,

and for that,
I've got you covered.

Because, you know, sometimes
it is gonna be a lot,

and it's not necessarily
gonna be what you're used to.

So what we're gonna do
is have a white man at a desk,

just your average,
run-of-the-mill

late-night talk show host
to go to

whenever things get
a little uncomfortable.

This is, um...
[laughter]

And this is not me being
condescending,

by the way.
I get it.

I need to watch a "Law & Order"
to get to sleep every night,

even though I've seen
every episode a thousand times.

I need it.
I need that familiarity.

I cannot fall asleep unless
it's to the gentle tones

of soft-core murder ripped
from the headlines of 1993.

I can't.

And for a lot of people,
that nighttime comfort

is late-night talk shows.

So if things get
a little bit... too obscure,

we've got, um...

Can we cut over
to the white guy at the desk?

[late-night style theme music]

Okay.

[applause]

So this is Mather.

And whenever things
veer off the beaten path,

all we have to do is just
cut over to Mather,

and he will bring us back

to the relatable comfort
of familiarity.

Isn't that right, Mather?
- That's right, Sarah.

We've got a great show
coming up tonight.

We've got Sarah visiting
a family in Louisiana

and an interview
with Megan Phelps-Roper!

Big show!

[cheers and applause]

That is right.
Okay, so where were we?

Oh! Stella, hi. Okay.

So you are Stella.
Hi, Stella.

- Hi, Sarah.
- And, of course,

these are your boobs.

Fun.
- Yes.

I feel like
we should censor...

We should censor
something, right?

Like, something
should be taboo,

like hands-- hands.
Hands are filthy.

We don't know
where hands have been.

Show me those dirty
digits, Stella.

Oh, God, gross!

Blur those things out!
Yeah!

Gah-ross!
Fingers go into butts!

[laughter]

Ech! Know what never
goes into butts?

Tits.

[laughter]

And yet they're taboo.

Think about it.

Speaking of taboo,
we never get to see vaginas!

Stella, this is your vagina!

Amazing!

[cheers and applause]
And a beautiful vagina.

[applause]

I can see that you have
a full but manicured bush,

which I also subscribe to.
Well done.

And, uh-- and you can see
just the promise of some lip,

which I like.
Labia majora.

Sounds like a constellation,
but it's not.

It's vagina lips.
What do you think, Mather?

Check, please?
[snickers]

Oh, Mather.
You're not too much!

[laughter]

We'll be back in--
well, if you're super cheap,

we'll be back
in, like, two minutes.

But if you can part with, like,
4 extra dollars a month,

we'll be back in two seconds.
Just a little dip to black.

[cheers and applause]

[up-tempo band music]

[up-tempo band music]

? ?

I live in a bit
of a bubble.

I'm on the Left Coast.

I work in the entertainment
industry.

I generally try not
to leave my apartment, ever.

And as a result,
it's possible I may have

some unfair
preconceived notions

about what people are like
in the rest of America.

But that's the cunty part of me

I'm trying to change
with this show.

So I decided to go have dinner
with a real family

whose lives are completely
unlike my own.

Do I deserve an award?
Yes, probably.

Take a look.

Take a look!

[laughter]

SARAH: So Chalmette
is a working-class suburb

of New Orleans that sits
right on the banks

of the Mississippi River
in southeastern Louisiana.

And the Standers are a family
of crab fishermen

who were displaced
during Hurricane Katrina.

They are Christian
gun-owning Trump voters

who like to gather
their whole family around

for big Cajun dinners.

And on this day,
they're going to be joined

by a species they had not
met before:

the Jew--me.

Shalom.
No, hello.

[doorbell rings]

Hello-ho-ho!

- Hey!
-- How are you?

SARAH: So what do I know

about the Standers?

There's Michelle
and her fianc�, Cody.

Their aunt Queen Janine.

They call her Queen G,

which is not what
Janine starts with.

The grandparents, who I think
are five years older than me.

And Brandi, the 26-year-old
matriarch of the house

who made sure the whole family
voted for Trump.

Oh, and there's Blaze.
He's seven.

He's a tough nut to crack,

but I got him
the perfect gift

for children of all ages.

Press it.

[fart sound]

[loud laughter]

MAN: Oh!
Yeah!

- Aah, she gotcha, huh?
- It's a remote-control

fart machine.
- Oh, there ya go!

We snuck in in the middle
of the night

and we recorded all the farts
of everyone in your family...

- Oh!
- And we put it on there.

I knew it sounded familiar.
[laughter]

You couldn't've got him
nothin' better.

Have you ever met
a Jew before?

Wait, what?

A Jewish person.

__

Uh... you know,
that's a good question.

It's like a religion,
but I'm not--

I don't really follow it.

I have met a Jew before.

Did they have
the little hats?

The only thing I know,
the Jews wear the little hats.

- Yarmulkes?
- Yeah.

Yeah.
I'm from the bai-yoo.

The bai-yoo.
- The bai-yah.

SARAH: What do I
sound like to you?

[as Sarah]
Well, you know...

Ah-ha-ha-ha!

I didn't know Jewish
people growing up

because I'm from
New Hampshire.

But then I moved to New York
and I was like,

"Oh, my God!"
- They got a lot?

[laughter]
"They got a lot?"

They got a lotta Jews
in New York.

You guys, tell me
about Chalmette

besides the fact
that I'm pronouncing it wrong.

We actually... just live
up here now,

but we're from the end of the
world down on the bayou, and...

We got nutria rats
for pets.

I don't know if you ever
heard of a nutria.

It's just like
a oversized rat.

Like a rat like this big?

- Yeah, bigger than that.
- Bigger than that.

- The tail's about this long.
- And did it love you?

Yes. It was just like
a dog.

Yeah. But it was a rat.

[laughing]

What kinda guns you have?

__

What else?

__

__

If you would be good
and don't

get your gun taken away...

Why did you get
your gun taken away?

He shot the bicycle tire,
the rubber on it,

and the little girl
was there when he, uh...

coulda hit the little girl
with it, you know, so...

I took it away from him.
- I did not.

- Did you hide it somewhere?
- Yeah. I hid it

on top of the closet.

Now he knows!

Dinner's ready!

Hey! [laughs]

And what else you want?

- That's it.
- Okay.

__

WOMAN: All right, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

[overlapping chatter]

All right,
you all voted for Trump.

What were the reasons
behind it?

What-- what made you
love him?

I did it for change.

I feel like we've been goin'
in the same direction,

which is down,
for a long time now.

And I feel like
he wants the change.

I feel like he can make
America great again,

and I just wanted
to give him a chance.

The things he promised,
too, you know,

I mean, he made things
sound pretty good,

but he ain't impressed me
so far, though.

You know, I mean,
I voted for him and all,

and I wanted the change...

I voted for him, too,
for change.

I give him a chance,
see what--

He can't do no worse
than what the other ones did.

It's not that
they did so bad,

the other presidents--
- I just think Obama

took... what it means
to be an American

out of America--
you work hard,

you work for what you have.

He did this to everybody.
Here ya go, here ya go.

Y'all don't work hard.
Just take everything, you know?

Get in the system,
get it right,

find the people
who deserve it, and fix it.

Do you get health care
through work,

or what is your--
- I'm on Medicaid.

- I'm on Medicaid too.
- I mean,

I'm a full-time student,

so as long as you're
a full-time student,

that is a job.
- And you get it through what?

- The government.
- The state, yeah.

ACA?

- Just...whoever gives it.
[laughs] I don't know.

The government, I guess.
- The government.

- Yeah, you gotta apply for it.
- You gotta apply.

Well, when Obama
was president, I'd hear,

"Oh, Obama's not from
this country."

You know, "Obama started ISIS,"
all this stuff.

He is an immigrant, isn't he?

He's from Hawaii.

- I don't know.
- AUDIENCE: Oh!

Oh, my God.

Oh, God, Brandi!

- I don't know.
- Do you really think

he's from, what,
like, Africa or something?

- I don't know where he's from.
- No, that's what them people--

That's rumors.
- SARAH: Donald Trump

started that-- the Birthers.
- I want Obama to come

to a luau for me, then.
Come show me what he got

if it's natural.
- [laughs] He's from Hawaii.

There's pictures of him
when he's little.

Why would he...
- Photoshop?

- No. He is.
- Oh, I'm just kiddin'.

- I know ya are.
- Not really, no.

[laughter]

All right, new topic.
Gay marriage.

How do we feel?
- All for it.

Love is love
in all of our eyes.

We... don't judge.
[applause]

We love, no matter what.

Love is awesome.
- I don't know about

the marriage thing, but...
- Well, you old-school.

Still love 'em.
[laughs]

They can be married
if they wanna

spend the rest of their
life together.

That's their partner.
- BRANDI: I think it's your life.

You're born that way.

- Yeah.
- You should be able

to make any decision
you wanna make.

As long as it doesn't
hurt anybody else.

That's a good way to put it.
You are who you are.

You are who you are.
It's completely normal.

CODY: I don't think
they should have kids.

- Why?
- What?

- A man and a woman,
you know,

should raise a kid,
not... two men.

Who's raising these kids?
This whole household is.

Ha-ha-ha.

You gotta defend it
if you say it.

Yeah, I mean, just the way
I was raised, you know?

That's always a good reason:
just the way I was raised.

Everybody got their own
opinion, you know?

- That's true, you're right.
- I'm just saying

anything can happen,
and you should be open to love

no matter where it comes from,
let 'em give it to you.

I hate to tell you this,
but you're a liberal.

[laughter]

What did I think of the family?
I couldn't love them more.

I had a great time!
- All right.

SARAH: Did we change
each other's minds?

Um... fuck no.

But we did learn that
we don't have to be divided

to disagree.
My new best friend.

We can have fun.
We can even love each other.

I know you're gonna
come around on the gay stuff.

[laughter]
BRANDI: It felt so great

to talk to somebody
with different views

and sit in a room
and not be judged.

- Bye.
- We coulda just kept her here

forever.
[laughter]

SARAH: Who's my favorite?

I mean, I really liked
all of them,

but I would have to say
Blaze, 100%.

[laughter and applause]

Oh, my Blaze!

[cheers and applause]

? ?

[cheers and applause]

Every show,
I'll have one interview,

and the common thread
is that everyone I talk to

will be someone
who has experienced change.

Our guest tonight grew up
in the Westboro Baptist Church

which her grandfather
Fred Phelps founded.

You know them-- they protest
soldiers' funerals

with signs like this.

That is actually her
in the photo.

It was all she knew
and everything she loved.

But when she was put
in charge of social media

for the church,
she found herself changed.

Welcome my friend
Megan Phelps-Roper.

[cheers and applause]

- Hi.
- Hey, friend.

How are you?

How 'bout that picture?

I love it.
JewsKilledJesus.com.

Wow. I'm so glad you guys
got that domain name.

I would...
- [laughs]

Be absolutely broken
if you had to be

JewsKilledJesus1.net.
- Right.

So okay, the Westboro
Baptist Church is considered

a hate group.
Why is that?

Well, because
we did a lot of things

that seem hateful
to most people.

We believed that it was loving.

We thought that, you know,
loving our neighbor

was going to warn them,

the consequences of their sins.

But we did things like,
you know, we celebrated 9/11

and Hurricane Katrina

and every sort
of human tragedy.

We protested funerals.

Like I said, we did it
because we believed

that was the definition
of love.

We thought we were loving
our neighbor with those signs.

So "God hates fags" was a way
of loving our neighbor.

Does that make sense?

- [blubbers]
- [laughs]

So tell me about
your moment of change.

So I got on Twitter
in 2009,

and that's where my first
doubts really came from.

Um... Twitter was a lot
like pickets at first.

It was really hostile.

I was saying incredibly
provocative things,

and people were responding
in kind.

And then after a while,
there was this,

you know, group of people,

and just individuals,
who...

because we were able
to finally have

sort of extended,
ongoing conversation--

you could have that on Twitter

in a way that you couldn't have
on the picket line--

people got to know me,
and I got to know them,

and we got to see
that neither of us,

you know, neither side
was-- was the monstrous,

you know, image
we had had in our heads.

Okay, so...

you've said that you
married your troll.

- [laughs]
- Which you did.

You married your Twitter troll.

And how did he...

how was he able
to get through to you?

So first I should say
that he would

probably object
to be calling a troll.

To being called a troll.
Uh, but...

he was arguing
from a position of,

"Yeah, I'm hearing
what you're saying,

and I understand, I see these
things in the Bible..."

But, for instance, you know,
picketing funerals.

Like, "What about the family?"

We literally had a sign
that said,

"God hates your feelings."

So I had learned
from a very young age

to just dismiss people
and their thoughts and feelings

and how we impacted them.

And my now husband,

who at the time
was totally anonymous

and I didn't know...

Anyways.
He's an incredible human being.

It's practically like Jdate.

[laughter]

But it's amazing that he
and people like him,

like, took the time
and had the patience, um...

you know, to really
effectively challenge me.

I mean, I think
it's incredibly important

and a super effective tactic

when you're dealing
with extremists.

You know, talking
about extremism,

I think that your presence
in this conversation

is so powerful because

you literally understand--

You know, Charlottesville.

This is something
that you can genuinely

kind of understand.

Yeah. And I think...
I think one thing

that's really important
for people to understand

is that I think extremists
generally are not psychopaths.

They're not... you know,

they're psychologically
normal people

who have been persuaded
by bad ideas.

And we can't expect to,
like, isolate these people

and hope that those ideas
will just fade into oblivion.

Like, we really have
to actually engage those ideas

and find ways of, one,
understanding the mind-sets

of the people
that we're dealing with

and then effectively
constructing arguments

and evidence
and presenting those things.

And it's not just for the sake
of these extremists, right?

'Cause they impact
the rest of society.

Like, young people,
especially, I think,

are more susceptible
and vulnerable to them.

So we present the arguments
not just for the people

who are in it
and who are doing things

that we find reprehensible,

like, you know, what happened
in Charlottesville.

We actually have
to address it.

You know, it is interesting.

My first instinct,
my first impulse,

go, "Well, you know,
these extremists,

"they're not psychopaths.

They're just normal people."

And in my mind, I went,
"I don't know about that."

And then I look
at who I'm talking to,

and you're the perfect example
of that, you know?

Tell me what happened
when you left the church.

When someone leaves
the church,

they are immediately cut off

from everyone in the church.

And that's your entire family.

Yeah. It's been--

Next month will be
five years since I left.

Wow. It's such a short
amount of time, really.

Oh, man, it seems like forever.

Like, I can't believe it's been
that long since I've seen,

you know, my...

Okay, I'm not gonna cry.

Um, the...

I've spent a lot of time
the past five years, you know,

with these communities that
I used to target at the church

and really trying
to find a way

to sort of repair some
of the damage that I did

while I was there,
so I...I don't know.

I've been working with schools,
middle schools and high schools

on anti-bullying campaigns

and with law enforcement
on, like, hate crimes

and counter-terrorism
and extremism

and just really trying
to find a way

to use these experiences

to do good.

So, for instance,
like, I was staying with

Rabbi Yonah Bookstein
here in Los Angeles,

who I had picketed
three years earlier

with a sign that said,
"Your rabbi is a whore."

So, like, spending time now
with this rabbi--

That rabbi's a whore?

You should meet
my sister the rabbi.

[laughter]

I tried.

You are one of the most
positive people I've ever met.

What gives you hope?

Well, I think a big part of it

is that at Westboro,
like, we had a sign

and a matching website,

literally:
TheWorldIsDoomed.com.

And there's, like, this
incredibly depressing view

of other people.
We basically saw

everybody outside the church
as inherently evil

and, you know,
deliberately doing

what they knew was wrong

and... and going to hell.

And when I left and I was
meeting all these people

and realizing
they're not monsters.

They're just people
trying to live their lives

in the best way
that they know how.

And I find so much hope
in that.

Megan, thank you so much
for coming.

Megan, I have a question.

I understand you took
a vacation recently

and things got a little wacky?

Mather, it's not
that kind of show.

Go get the bed ready.
- [laughs]

Megan, I'm so happy you came.

Let's hug heart to heart
like my therapist tells me to.

I love you to pieces.
- I love you too.

Can you believe it?

That is basically the show.
We did it.

It's fucking crazy.
I was like,

"I wanna make a show,"
and we made a show.

[lullaby music]

Oh.

Spoon me.

Spoon me!

Mm.
- Mm.

Oh, this is good.
Nighttime is the right time.

Tune in next week
when we'll have

Tom Berenger,
Morgan Fairchild,

musical guests The Judds,

and audience favorite
Hardly Headlines.

Oh, that's not true,
but it sounds nice.

Good night, America.

I "lerve" you.
[click]

MAN: In the criminal
justice system,

the people are represented
by two separate

yet equally important groups:

the police
who investigate crime

and the district attorneys
who prosecute the offenders.

These are their stories.

["Law & Order" dramatic sting]

[whimsical music]

? ?

MAN: ? Shave it off,
stay alive, open wide ?

? Show us how to conquer first
and then divide ?

CHORUS: ? Don't know if we're
stayin' long, stayin' long ?

? Used to staying weak ?

? And now we're
staying strong ?

? We don't wanna go
where we do not belong ?

? Lonely as the day is long,
day is long ?

? ?

MAN: ? Shave it off,
stay alive, open wide ?

? Show us how to conquer first
and then divide ?

CHORUS: ? Don't know if we're
stayin' long, stayin' long ?

? Used to staying weak ?

? And now we're
staying strong ?

? We don't wanna go
where we do not belong ?

? Lonely as the day is long,
day is long ?

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