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1
00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,160
CAR HORN BLARES
You bloody idiot!
2
00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:20,160
Can you not see I've got a dog
with me?
3
00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:21,440
Right, are you all here?
4
00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:24,080
One, two, three...
It's nearly enough, come on.
5
00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:27,080
Come on, come on,
let's get down here.
6
00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:28,160
Stop pulling, you!
7
00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:29,760
DOG BARKS
Stop it!
8
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:31,120
What's going on here?
9
00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:32,640
DOG BARKS
10
00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:36,400
Oh! Come on,
we're going back up this way.
11
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,800
Get back on the pavement, come on!
12
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:41,720
Of course he's late,
he doesn't know what time is.
13
00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:44,360
I'm going to have to go.
It's a shame.
14
00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:46,520
I think you've had a lucky escape,
to be honest.
15
00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:48,480
Why you want any more of HIM
in the book...
16
00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:52,040
Michael, I hate to say this, but
every time he pops up in the book,
17
00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:54,080
it's wonderful.
He's a character.
18
00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:56,640
Yes...
19
00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:01,040
Yes, he is a character.
20
00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:02,840
The book just springs to life.
21
00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:07,840
It's suddenly so full of fun and
energetic. It crackles with life.
22
00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:10,800
Do people really want to read
a book like that?
23
00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:14,680
Yes. Yes, they do.
24
00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:16,880
Mmm...
25
00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:20,640
Just fill him in a bit more. You
said he was an actor at one point.
26
00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:22,000
That's what he told me.
27
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:25,240
I got him a job in a radio play -
the director will never work again.
28
00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:26,520
SHE CHUCKLES
29
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,760
It's not funny, Sheila.
30
00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:30,960
He brings chaos and misery
wherever he goes.
31
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,960
It's really beginning to get me down.
32
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:36,080
I think I've had quite
enough of Count Arthur Strong.
33
00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:38,720
Hello, Michael. Hi.
34
00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:41,000
Eggy.
35
00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:45,080
I'm late. Love you! See you.
36
00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:53,360
You are waiting for a woman!
37
00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:59,280
I met a woman. Just there.
38
00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:02,920
I was right.
I have the gift, you see.
39
00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:04,440
The second sight.
40
00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:05,640
Yes.
41
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:08,560
(Or just sight.)
42
00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:11,720
The shadow of death.
43
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,840
What?
44
00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:18,560
The shadow of death is here.
45
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:23,720
What do you mean?
You are in grave danger.
46
00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:25,360
Why am I in danger?
47
00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:26,480
BARKING
48
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,720
Come on, you bloody thing! Get in!
49
00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:31,040
Where have you been?
What's going on?!
50
00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,280
I've got my dog walking today,
you knew that.
51
00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:36,240
And I tell you what, they walked my
bloody legs off, this lot have,
52
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,160
and you have to pick up all
the mess.
53
00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:39,720
Arthur...
54
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:42,480
You can't bring
a bag of poo into a cafe.
55
00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:46,720
Why not?
Oh, don't tell me, bloody Brussels!
56
00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:51,440
No, it's not Brussels, Arthur, it's
everyone. Everyone agrees on that.
57
00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:54,600
Katya, my Polish princess,
I'll chat to you later.
58
00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:55,840
Something big has come up.
59
00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:59,400
Here, I need a favour,
I need you to hold onto these.
60
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:02,560
Where are you going? The owners
will be by to pick them up.
61
00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:06,600
I'll have your umbrella as well.
Arthur, don't do this! Don't do this to me!
62
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:12,360
I don't think Bulent will like
you bringing them dogs in. I haven't brought them in!
63
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:15,640
Unless they're guide dogs. HEY!
You can't bring those dogs in here!
64
00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:18,720
I didn't, I haven't.
I think they're guide dogs.
65
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:22,280
You can't bring dogs into a cafe! I
think you can if they're guide dogs.
66
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:26,120
They're not guide dogs!
Does this look like a guide dog?
67
00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:29,520
Take them out! Move, move, move!
68
00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:31,960
They're Arthur's.
I'm holding them for him.
69
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,920
No dogs allowed in the cafe!
It's a cafe! What's this?
70
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,440
That's not mine!
I have nothing to do with that!
71
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:43,240
Thank you very much, that was great.
Really, really good.
72
00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:44,720
(Very impressive.)
73
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,400
So it's a dog act? No.
74
00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:00,720
Well, it's not a dog act per se.
75
00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:04,520
I mean, there's two of us up here,
so it's a dog and a human act.
76
00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:08,520
Sorry, I pointed the wrong way
round then. Human, dog.
77
00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:10,600
Yes...
78
00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:13,400
But what I would make clear at this
moment is that the dog
79
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,960
is very much the junior
partner in what we're doing,
80
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:19,760
so I'd ask you to address any
future questions to me.
81
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:20,920
Right...
82
00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:24,400
He's not the brains
of the operation. No offence.
83
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:27,720
(I mean, dogs don't have
much of a brain, do they?)
84
00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:31,560
If they did, they'd be ruling
the world, riding round on horses
85
00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:34,920
with machine guns,
like the monkeys did that time.
86
00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:37,480
Glad all that's blown over.
87
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:44,600
Oh, sorry. I just started thinking
about monkeys' bottoms then.
88
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:46,840
You know, the red ones.
89
00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:48,760
Horrible!
90
00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,240
I won't be able to get that
out of my head now.
91
00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:55,240
Shall I start, then?
92
00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:59,920
Yes, I know I'm not the man.
I'm obviously a different man.
93
00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:01,280
He gave me the dogs.
94
00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:04,680
I don't know why you're all
taking it out on me.
95
00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:09,680
Anything you can do
I can do better
96
00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:12,440
I can do everything better
than you
97
00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:15,440
Yes, I can
98
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,560
Yes, I can
99
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:20,080
Yes, I can. Yes, I ca-a-a-an...
100
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:23,880
I don't drink from a bowl.
That's not how I roll.
101
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,920
HE BEATBOXES BADLY
102
00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:34,880
HE COUGHS VIOLENTLY
103
00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:40,480
LOUD COUGHING CONTINUES
104
00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:43,880
I don't know what to say. This is
the last dog. But that's not Bunty!
105
00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:46,600
I know, but it's the only dog I have!
106
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:50,400
Where is the bloke that
I paid to walk him? I don't know!
107
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:53,120
Well, that was a waste of bloody
time, wasn't it? Oh, thank God.
108
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,040
Your problem is you've no
ambition.
109
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:58,280
How hard can it be to hold me
by the hand
110
00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:00,880
and dance around like
a little gentleman?
111
00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:02,280
Eh?
112
00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:04,000
I don't know...
113
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,360
Bunty! Give him here!
114
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:08,880
I'm not using you again.
115
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:13,920
Where were you? I've been threatened
with legal action.
116
00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:15,600
Who's that, then?
117
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:17,320
What do you mean?
118
00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:22,080
That's not one of the dogs I had.
What? That's not one of my dogs.
119
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,920
Well, you gave him to me. Did I?
120
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:28,600
Must have picked an extra one up
at the park. Do you want to buy him?
121
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:32,240
No! You have to get it back
to its owner.
122
00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:34,680
Check the collar, see
if there's a number or something.
123
00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:36,080
There might be a reward!
124
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,200
DOG GROWLS
125
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:45,240
I don't think he wants me to. Hang
on, I'll do a bit of dog whispering.
126
00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:54,160
(Shut up.)
127
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:55,320
Now try.
128
00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:58,320
DOG BARKS
129
00:06:58,320 --> 00:06:59,600
Ow! Ow!
130
00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,680
It bit me!
131
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:03,600
It bit me!
132
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:09,320
Always looks uncomfortable to me.
It looks sore, doesn't it?
133
00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:15,880
What, my hand? No, monkeys' bottoms.
You know, the big red ones.
134
00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:20,360
The ones that look like a
parachute's started to come out.
135
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:22,840
I wouldn't like to sit on that
if I had one.
136
00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:26,280
What are you talking about?
137
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:30,000
Monkeys' bottoms!
138
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,320
How is the book coming on?
139
00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:34,320
I don't want to talk about the book.
140
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:38,480
I just want to concentrate
on getting to the hospital with my mutilated hand.
141
00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:41,720
Oh, go on. I don't know
why you don't let me have a look.
142
00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:45,280
Why are you coming with me anyway?
Katya asked me to come.
143
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,400
Why is she coming? I don't know.
144
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,320
God, I hate all this.
145
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:01,720
What? All this.
146
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:05,640
I hate hospitals, I hate doctors.
147
00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:07,160
I was a doctor once.
148
00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:11,760
What? Oh, yes,
a very good one too.
149
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:13,320
What sort of doctor?
150
00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,720
They never told me.
151
00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:17,520
What are you talking about now?
152
00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:21,520
I was in an episode of...
Emergency Ward...something.
153
00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:24,160
I was Dr Two.
154
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:25,760
I was supposed to be Dr Three,
155
00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:29,160
but they bumped me up
when the other one got irritable...
156
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,560
owl syndrome.
157
00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:34,960
I had a line in it and everything.
158
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:36,640
Go on.
159
00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:38,200
Well...
160
00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:40,480
Let's hear it. Let's hear the line.
161
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,240
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT DRAMATICALLY
162
00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:53,160
It's outside my area of expertise.
163
00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:55,080
I'm afraid!
164
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,720
Arthur...
165
00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:10,960
how did you come to
believe that you could act?
166
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:12,520
What?
167
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:14,560
This is how you say that -
168
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:17,200
"It's outside my area of expertise,
I'm afraid."
169
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:18,800
No, no, no.
170
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:22,800
It doesn't sound as if you're afraid
of anything if you say it like that!
171
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:26,600
He's NOT afraid of anything!
Then what he's saying it for, then?
172
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,600
It's a phrase!
173
00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:30,680
He's not saying he's afraid of things
174
00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:33,360
that are outside his area of
expertise.
175
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:34,960
That's not a frightening thing.
176
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:39,120
Oh, what would you know? I know more
than you do, I tell you that.
177
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:42,960
You playing a doctor? I'll tell you
what that is, that is miscasting.
178
00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:46,640
You're more of a crazy grave-digger.
179
00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:49,080
Or a village idiot.
180
00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:51,720
What you're not is anyone
that people might mistake
181
00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:54,120
for a person in authority,
like a doctor.
182
00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:56,160
You can't act, Arthur!
183
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:57,640
You can't act!
184
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:05,040
That is the dog that bit you
talking.
185
00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,160
You don't know what you're saying.
186
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:11,400
AAAARRRGGGGHHH!
187
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,000
That's a safety hazard!
188
00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:39,920
What is that?
189
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:43,640
Oh, of course.
190
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:48,520
Come on, I know you're in there!
191
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,040
HE GRUNTS
192
00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:53,080
I got you!
COINS FALL
193
00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:56,520
Where's that gone now?
Everybody up, come on.
194
00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:58,200
Oh, no, it's over there.
195
00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,760
AAAARRRGGGHHH!
196
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,520
ARTHUR BREAKS WIND
197
00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:18,120
HE SPITS
198
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:20,880
Wuuuurgh!
199
00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:13,920
What's going on with these, then?
200
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:20,520
WHY ARE YOU HERE?!
201
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:24,040
You can go home!
There's no reason for you to be here!
202
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:27,080
Katya wants me here.
Why is she here?!
203
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,480
I'm the one that needs to see
somebody!
204
00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:35,360
Oh, I've had enough of this.
I'm going to see what's what.
205
00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,600
No, don't, leave them alone! Ohhh...
206
00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:41,320
Do you know how long
she has been waiting?
207
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:43,920
You'll be seen as soon as possible.
208
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,160
Katya, why are you here?
209
00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:50,400
I would never pass up
a lift to the hospital.
210
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:53,800
Is there actually anything wrong
with you? No. Right.
211
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:57,400
I'm sure the doctor will find
something.
212
00:12:57,400 --> 00:13:00,280
I actually do have something wrong
with me. Yes.
213
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,680
My hand. Oh, that too.
214
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:04,320
Yes. Yes.
215
00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:06,520
What?
216
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:09,440
Katya Zaritska? Bingo!
Here we are. Come on, Katya.
217
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:13,600
I don't believe this.
She's only here recreationally!
218
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:17,080
Michael Baker?
Yes, here, thank you.
219
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,920
Right, then...
220
00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:29,200
I'll just sit in here by myself,
then, shall I?
221
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:31,360
Don't worry about me.
222
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,320
Yes, good idea.
223
00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,400
I'll have a look at a magazine.
224
00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:47,960
Cor, these bloody chairs.
They're a disgrace!
225
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:51,480
You're right to bring your own.
I wish I'd thought of that.
226
00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:56,240
Right,
let's see what rubbish is in here.
227
00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:59,880
Jordan. Oh, dear,
look at the state of her.
228
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:02,640
"Why I talk to my boobs."
229
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:05,440
Dear, oh, dear.
230
00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:08,520
And to think she's got the nerve
to call herself somewhere
231
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:09,680
out of the Bible!
232
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:14,400
Now, where do you find out
why she does it?
233
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,600
Hmm...
234
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:20,080
The bite's really quite deep.
What sort of dog was it?
235
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,840
Um, I don't know about the different
types of dogs.
236
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:27,600
What happened to the dog? It ran
off. Why, should I have brought it?
237
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,400
It's a good job you came in quickly.
238
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:34,760
You need a tetanus shot and
we may need to take a blood sample.
239
00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:35,840
What? Why?
240
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:39,920
Well, we don't know anything
about the dog that bit you, do we?
241
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,400
Better to be safe than sorry.
242
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:47,720
I'm not in any danger, am I?
No, it's...really just for my own curiosity.
243
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,360
Nothing to worry about.
244
00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:53,680
I'm following your finger. Yes.
I'm following your finger.
245
00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:57,520
Haven't you got any cushions?
No! It's scandalous!
246
00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:01,280
Suppose someone came in with
a bottom like one of those monkeys?
247
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:04,880
I wish I could stop
thinking about that.
248
00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:07,880
What would you do then
if one of them came in?
249
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:12,200
Chairs like this should be
against the Human League Convention.
250
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:16,720
There's no friction on them!
I keep sliding off.
251
00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:21,800
My thighs are killing me. I'm having
to support all my own G-force.
252
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:25,200
Look...you can
sit in the patients' waiting room.
253
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:28,520
How about that? Thank you,
um...Ghita.
254
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:31,840
Just behave yourself, all right?
I'll be as quiet as a mouse.
255
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:33,400
No-one will know I'm there.
256
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,480
AAAARRRGGHHH!
257
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,680
Will you please
get away from me?!
258
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:42,520
No, they're the same seats!
259
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:47,320
What's in here?
260
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:56,760
DOCTOR YAWNS
261
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,800
Ohhhh!
262
00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:20,560
HE SIGHS CONTENTEDLY
263
00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:26,560
It's more commonly known as rabies.
264
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:29,080
Rabies?! I have rabies?!
265
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:31,600
No, no. That's not what I said.
266
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:35,240
I just need to do a biopsy
to rule it out.
267
00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:38,400
Rabies! Rabies!
268
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:41,160
I thought you got
rid of that in the '70s!
269
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:42,840
Seriously... I don't believe it!
270
00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:46,320
Seriously, there is
nothing to worry about.
271
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:50,120
In the highly unlikely event that it
is...what I think it is, well,
272
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:52,880
if you catch it early,
it's rarely fatal.
273
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:56,920
Who's this?
The police sent a sketch artist.
274
00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:59,440
We may need to put out
a description of the dog.
275
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:03,480
He's going to kill me... He's not
going to stop until he's killed me!
276
00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:08,280
Lollipop?
277
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:12,640
VIOLENT SCRABBLING
278
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,200
INDISTINCT CONVERSATION
279
00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:36,320
Good afternoon, everyone. I see.
280
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:38,400
Yes, we have a few new
faces here today,
281
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:43,680
so I'd like our team to make the new
arrivals feel as welcome as possible.
282
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:45,960
ALL EXCHANGE GREETINGS
283
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,120
Hello, hello!
284
00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:50,640
Lovely to meet you. Hello.
285
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,960
Hello. Right, good.
286
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:54,080
Lots to do,
287
00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:57,120
so I suggest we take a two-heads-are-
better-than-one approach.
288
00:17:57,120 --> 00:18:01,480
If you pair up with someone and be as
helpful as we can to our...newbies.
289
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:06,800
We seemed to have a spare. Dr...?
290
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,320
Doctor Two. Hello.
291
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:12,960
Doctor Two?
292
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:16,360
Unusual name. Yes, it is, isn't it?
Are you a stray, then?
293
00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:18,320
You could say that.
294
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:22,840
HE SIGHS
295
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:30,760
Oh, God! God! Oh, Katya...
296
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:34,440
What are you doing here?
297
00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:38,560
The doctor found something wrong
with me, so it wasn't a wasted trip.
298
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:40,160
How are you?
299
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,320
I'm not great, to be honest.
300
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:44,760
It's two o'clock.
I've been here for hours.
301
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:50,040
Katya, you remember when you talked
about the shadow of death? Oh, yes.
302
00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:52,640
And then Arthur came into the cafe.
303
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:55,120
Is it Arthur?
304
00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:58,480
Is Arthur the shadow of death?
305
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:02,480
No, no, no!
I got it completely arse-ways.
306
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:06,680
Arthur is not the shadow of death,
quite the opposite.
307
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:11,480
You know, every day
I come to Bulent's cafe.
308
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:16,320
There are many cafes closer to where
I live, but I choose Bulent's.
309
00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:21,400
For the soup? The soup is good,
but it is not for the soup.
310
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:27,000
I come because every time Arthur
calls me his Polish princess,
311
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:31,520
I feel like I'm 20 years old again.
312
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:36,480
I know he's frustrating,
I know he's impossible.
313
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:41,320
But I feel... I wish everyone
could know him a bit.
314
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:45,120
Life seems too long
when there is no Arthur.
315
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,320
Katya, I think he's going
to kill me.
316
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:56,160
I have rabies, Katya. Rabies.
317
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:01,520
The shadow of death,
you said. You said!
318
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:04,120
Believe me,
I couldn't have been more wrong.
319
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:06,280
You have nothing to fear.
320
00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:11,600
I was eating that!
321
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,080
But you can have it.
322
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:20,480
DRAMATIC, SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC
323
00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:02,040
How about...that?
324
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:06,960
None of these are remotely
like the dog that bit me.
325
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:10,520
Oh, well,
I've never been very good at dogs.
326
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:17,400
If it is rabies, we're talking
about a potential national emergency.
327
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:20,600
I know that, that's why I need to do
the biopsy. I know it's very unlikely...
328
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:24,200
With respect, I think you may have
jumped the gun a little with your diagnosis.
329
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,000
ARTHUR: Hmmm...
330
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:32,440
You disagree?
Well... Yes... And no...
331
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:35,480
So do you agree
we need to rule it out? Well...
332
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:38,040
You could put it that way...
333
00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:40,400
You think we should continue
with the biopsy?
334
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,200
Oh... Well...
335
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:45,400
HE MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY
336
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:50,760
All right, all right.
Better safe than sorry, I suppose.
337
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:52,760
Carry on, Dr Freeman.
Thanks, everyone.
338
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:55,720
Hmmm... Yes... Oh...
339
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,720
HE CONTINUES MUMBLING
340
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:08,080
So, Michael,
we have an observer in today.
341
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:11,560
You have no objections,
do you? No, no...
342
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:18,160
So, this is Paul,
he's our anaesthesiologist.
343
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:19,720
He's going to get started
344
00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:21,960
and then I'll pop
back before you go under, OK?
345
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:24,240
Right...
And he's qualified, is he?
346
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:25,680
Hope so!
347
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:31,480
OK, so you should feel the effects
of that in a few seconds.
348
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,080
All right, Michael?
349
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:36,600
That's not so bad...
350
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,080
HE CHUCKLES WEAKLY
351
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:41,040
It's a bit like having
a bubble bath.
352
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:43,720
It's rather nice...
353
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:45,480
Thanks for your input earlier.
354
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:48,760
This is a needle biopsy,
so we will be administering
355
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:51,120
a general anaesthetic for
the patient's comfort. Yes.
356
00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:54,840
How is the patient's blood pressure?
Pretty good, pretty good.
357
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:56,960
Paul is one of our best.
358
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:07,040
OK, Michael, this is Dr Perle
and Dr Two. Hello, Michael.
359
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:13,200
INDISTINCT CRIES OF PROTEST
360
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:19,320
Dr Two will be observing,
if that's all right by you.
361
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:22,000
GARBLED: Eee no a o'or...!
362
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,120
Ee no a o'or!
363
00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:26,640
Ee...!
364
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:29,720
He no a octor!
365
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:31,920
He's...!
366
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:35,280
He no a octor!
367
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:39,160
HE RAVES INCOHERENTLY
368
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:43,120
Ee no a o'or.
369
00:23:43,120 --> 00:23:45,000
Michael, what are you doing?
370
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,480
HE RAVES
371
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,840
Just lie down, Michael.
372
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:53,560
Just lie down, please!
373
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:55,720
HE RAVES INCOHERENTLY
374
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:04,520
Michael... Michael, please...
Michael... Ee no a o'or!
375
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:07,480
He's not wearing any underpants!
376
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:08,600
Help! Help!
377
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:13,240
HE RAVES
378
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:18,360
HIS VOICE FADES
379
00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:21,480
I've never seen anything like that
in my life. What was he saying?
380
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:22,920
I don't know, nonsense phrases.
381
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:24,720
I'm not sure what it
actually means.
382
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:26,280
I've never seen anything like it!
383
00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:28,240
Have you, Doctor?
384
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:31,880
It's outside my area of expertise.
385
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:33,640
I'm afraid!
386
00:24:35,120 --> 00:24:38,880
There's no need to be afraid.
Look, he's just going under now. You're safe.
387
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:44,000
And then they put the needle
right into the hole!
388
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,440
I couldn't believe it!
Stop talking about that.
389
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,160
I don't want to think about it.
I know.
390
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:52,440
It's like me and those monkeys'
bottoms. Or YOUR bottom!
391
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:54,280
That's up there too now.
392
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:59,240
Arthur, what are we doing here? We
can go. I don't have rabies, Arthur.
393
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:01,440
No, I know, but I'm going
to wait for Katya.
394
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:04,080
Oh, yes, Katya. Well...
395
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:09,240
Do you mind if I leave? Of course
not, all you've been through.
396
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:18,200
They don't look very... There's
a knack to it. I'll be all right.
397
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:24,160
Can't let Katya go home alone.
All right, well... Bye...
398
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:28,920
I'm sorry, did you say Katya?
Has she left already?
399
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,360
Katya Zaritska?
Yes, that's her.
400
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:35,280
I'm so sorry... I'm afraid...
401
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:38,040
I'm afraid she's gone.
402
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:41,080
No, no,
she wouldn't have left without me.
403
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:42,640
No, I mean she passed.
404
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:51,040
I'm sorry, Ghita,
could you repeat that, love?
405
00:25:52,120 --> 00:25:54,040
She died. I'm so sorry.
406
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:58,080
No, no, I'm not having that.
407
00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:00,960
She only came in to see if anything
was wrong with her.
408
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:03,040
There was.
409
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:06,160
Apparently, she'd been
ill for quite some time.
410
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:07,800
Are you family?
411
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:12,200
Um... Er, no.
We're just...
412
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,040
We're just friends.
413
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:18,600
I'm so sorry.
414
00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:28,360
Are you all right, Arthur?
No, no, I'm not having that.
415
00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:32,040
They've made a mistake.
She was in the prime of life!
416
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:35,440
This is a terrible hospital!
Look how far I got!
417
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:38,840
I'd have made director-general
if I'd been in earlier.
418
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:43,680
No, no... I'm not having it.
What's happened here is...
419
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:45,080
Someone's...
420
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:47,480
HE MUMBLES
421
00:26:53,360 --> 00:26:55,680
I was supposed to take her home!
422
00:26:57,760 --> 00:26:59,160
What am I going to do now?
423
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,440
WRAPPERS RUSTLE
424
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:43,840
They're good, these.
425
00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:47,920
They're not bad, are they?
426
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:07,920
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427
00:28:07,970 --> 00:28:12,520
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