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Meanwhile, on "Con Man"...
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Get down on your knees.
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You have 5 seconds to comply.
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Seriously?
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Gotcha! I'm Faith.
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Jack wants to make a movie of Spectrum.
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I hate Spectrum.
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Okay, calm down. You're being a little childish.
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I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!
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When people say
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that you've been stuffed into a pigeon hole,
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it is not the hole that pigeons live in.
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- It's the butthole. - Yeah, no, I got that.
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Yeah, I gotta go...
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To a comic book store opening.
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Because that's the kind of thing...
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That I do.
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Con Man - Episode 10 - "Thank You for Your Service"
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sync and corrections by sadako415 www.addic7ed.com
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Excuse me, I think I found it...
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- How you guys doing? - Oh, my god!
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About time, I'm sorry.
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I'm about to come a little late.
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How you doing? How you doing?
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I think that's me in a photo.
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Listen... Hey, can I get...
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Hey, does anyone know "My Sharona"?
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Do you know "My Sharona"?
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Oh, great, you're here!
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- Everybody give him some room! - "My Sharona"...
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Hi, Casey Wingwall, I'm the owner of the store.
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Thank you so much for coming.
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Where were you?
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I've been texting you for like an hour...
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- You did? I was... Oh, this is off. - Yeah...
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I was in a bar two doors down...
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Well, that's fine.
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It's not like I'm irked or anything.
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I don't want to imply that my hackles are up.
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Because my hackles are actually way down.
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I just want to get you into the back.
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There's a long line of people. Everyone's paid.
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I'm gonna get you signing in the back table.
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-
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- Damn, Bobbie. - Casey.
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Damn me?
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Damn you, Wray!
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You have been avoiding me.
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What, look, I turned off my phone.
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You need me.
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No, look...
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You didn't book this thing.
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You still need me.
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I'm only here for the cash.
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You need to shut up.
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Excuse me... Hi!
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- Hi... - Hi! I need to get Wray into the back.
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We're gonna start signing.
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Ladies and gentlemen, we will be signing...
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In ten minutes!
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Okay, alright. You know what?
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That was wonderful, but I am the booker
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and I will be making that announcement.
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Everyone, we will be signing...
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In ten minutes!
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- Thank you. - That's the way it's done.
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Really appreciate the help.
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- Absolutely, my pleasure. - Listen, we've got
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a long line of people here,
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so if we could just grab Wray...
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- And... We could... - What? Where...
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Where did he go?
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Comic book fight!
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Everyone pick a comic book
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and start throwing them around.
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Excuse me, I'm sorry, please don't touch those...
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Wray! No, I got it. I know how to do this.
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Michael Dorn is here.
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Wray, Michael Dorn is here.
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Yes, he's talking about his voiceover work
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in "Verger", and also Kevin Grevioux is here.
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I also fixed the banner for you,
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in the back there.
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See? You need me.
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I'm so sorry,
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all we could find was the Spectrum art.
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We couldn't find any of the art from...
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"What's up, bitch?".
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I hate this picture.
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You know what, I do need you.
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I need you to find that other art.
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Okay, I will.
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There wasn't anything available online.
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She's not gonna be able to find anything.
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You're not.
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It was only released on VHS
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and even then, I think it was just
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an extras feature on the back of...
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Truck and Tractor Pull bloopers.
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Okay, okay...
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Hi!
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Who here is good
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with computers?
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Of course, okay, whatever.
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How about, really good...
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With computers?
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Oh, good. What's your name?
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- Landon. - Landon, follow me.
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But, I wanted an autograph...
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I'll get you one of mine.
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Oh, do you hear that?
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Mr. Dorn has been nice enough
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to read excerpts from
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Shakespeare's "The Merchant of Venice"
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for his fans.
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Maybe it should be "The Merchant of Venus".
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Right?
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Right? It's gotta be sci-fi!
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Of course...
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Trying to get my hackles up, aren't you?
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I don't know...
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You are.
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Don't do that.
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Listen, if you need anything,
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this gentleman over here will help you
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but keep your hands off his hackles...
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He's a marine.
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Have fun. Thanks, guys.
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You're a soldier...
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A marine.
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Just got back from Kabul.
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Thank you for your service.
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How did it serve you?
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Yeah, I was a soldier
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on my video game this morning,
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so thank you for your service...
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And thank you for my service.
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I gotta say... I loved you in Spectrum!
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Are you ever gonna make a movie?
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Never.
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Never.
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Thank you.
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So, what's your name?
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Marion, sir.
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No, shit!
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My character in the video game's
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name was Marion this morning.
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You weren't shot in the rectum, were you?
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I was... I'm sorry, it's an inside...
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Video game joke...
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War's not a game.
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I know it's not a game.
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I mean that there are similarities.
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What similarities?
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First person shoot 'em ups.
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I mean, I don't get PTSD, but you know...
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Actually, if you play long enough,
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you will dream about it.
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So...
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I can see that I'm upsetting you.
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I'm sorry.
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I just want to say...
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Thank you for your service.
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Yeah, what service are you thanking me for?
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Your service...
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It's empty if
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you don't know what you're talking about.
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You went to Kabul, right?
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- Yes, I did. - That service, then.
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I thank you...
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For that.
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Iraq thanks you.
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Kabul's not in Iraq.
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Shit.
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The other one...
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Longest war in American history?
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Yeah, I know... Is it?
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Talibanistan... Ghanistan.
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- Ghanistan? - Afghanistan.
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Thirteen years of combat.
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I'm sure it's a common mistake.
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Hey...
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Do you know what the longest war
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in American history is?
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Afghanistan?
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You overheard me. She overheard me.
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Well, we're not technically still at war...
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Major combat operations have ended...
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And it was officially an operation.
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Operation Enduring Freedom.
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We still have like 2000 troops
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stationed over there, so...
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Wolf Blitzer over here.
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Just take your picture...
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This is a picture of Milo Ventimiglia!
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Celebrities, please, to the staging area.
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If we can get all celebrities
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to the staged area, please.
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Alright! Everybody, welcome to Jammer Comics.
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I'm very privileged to be hosting
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this panel today,
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on overcoming the bigotry
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of racist stereotypes in hate art.
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And here are our panelists,
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Mr. Michael Dorn,
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Mr. Kevin Grevioux, and
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someone who is very nearly Milo Ventimiglia...
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Wray Nerely.
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I love you, Milo!
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Got it.
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Mr. Dorn,
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you're no stranger to sci-fi, of course,
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and he can currently be seen
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in "The Merchant of Venice"
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at the Cerritos playhouse. Just tremendous,
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- by the way. - Thank you, thank you.
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Let's talk about the forest god,
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Tartanos, in "Verger".
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Certainly.
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Tartanos is a great role, and role model.
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I am pretty sure that 50 years ago
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he wouldn't even exist in animation,
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or even popular entertainment.
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Well if he did, he would no doubt be
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voiced by a white actor
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even though Tartanos is black.
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That just...
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That just rankles me. It's like vocal blackface.
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- Vocal blackface? - Oh, just...
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Just talking about it my hackles are halfway up.
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Uh, mine are straight up.
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I mean, I get a violent urge
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every time I think about it.
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Could we maybe hear a sample of Tartanos,
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the warrior king?
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Sure.
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The squares in that die, dilly dell
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choppity chair for the keggily king!
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Kegel king?
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Powerful.
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And... And a hero too.
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Not some cartoonish outsized punchline
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predicating on a stereotype.
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Wray, let's talk about "What's up, bitch?".
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Milo mentioned your character, Rigamarole.
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Would you, do the voice for us?
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Skip me.
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Okay...
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We're gonna... I'm gonna go last...
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Skip me.
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What's... What's up with you, Kevin?
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We love you, Milo!
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Okay... Uh... Kevin,
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you are voicing Sparkle,
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in "The Finicky Dragon".
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I will drink your blood,
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from the husk of your rank
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and ruined soul.
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She's an amazing character.
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You know, she really speaks
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to the damage done by the
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stereotypical shuck and jive
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hijinks for cheap laughs.
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What it is, is an extended metaphor
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that actually outlines the...
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I guess you would call it the
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effects of institutional racism.
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Oh, racism pisses me off.
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It rankles my hackles.
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Mine too.
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I mean I see red.
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Uh, sometimes I black out,
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and when I come to some place else hours later,
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I wake up with a blunt object
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covered in some poor guy's blood.
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00:09:19,939 --> 00:09:21,262
I do the same thing.
277
00:09:21,703 --> 00:09:22,703
I mean I have to...
278
00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:25,896
Watch the news to see who I've killed.
279
00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:28,799
Yeah, I...
280
00:09:28,809 --> 00:09:31,644
Follow the peaceful teachings of MLK.
281
00:09:32,658 --> 00:09:33,658
J...
282
00:09:35,024 --> 00:09:36,728
And lower case R...
283
00:09:37,116 --> 00:09:38,060
Well, uh...
284
00:09:38,070 --> 00:09:39,364
Wray, let's talk about
285
00:09:39,374 --> 00:09:40,548
"What's up, bitch?".
286
00:09:40,558 --> 00:09:41,667
What's up, b...
287
00:09:41,677 --> 00:09:44,977
No, no... He's saying it wrong, it's super...
288
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,611
What? Super bitch?
289
00:09:48,018 --> 00:09:50,236
Well the W's silent, so just "Super bitch".
290
00:09:50,246 --> 00:09:52,627
- "Sup... Suppa bitch". - "Super bitch".
291
00:09:52,953 --> 00:09:54,514
It's about uh...
292
00:09:54,524 --> 00:09:55,596
A super...
293
00:09:56,619 --> 00:09:57,962
Female dog...
294
00:09:57,972 --> 00:09:59,000
We miss you, Milo!
295
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,090
And I voice it, it's a lot of fun.
296
00:10:01,966 --> 00:10:03,300
Well I'm sorry everybody, we actually
297
00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:04,900
don't have any art from the show, but...
298
00:10:04,911 --> 00:10:06,100
Maybe you can tell us a little bit about it?
299
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:07,100
No.
300
00:10:07,931 --> 00:10:09,973
- No, no... - Yes, yes he can!
301
00:10:09,983 --> 00:10:12,082
Yes he can! Hi, excuse me. Excuse me.
302
00:10:12,092 --> 00:10:14,317
- Thank you, thank you so much. - Sure.
303
00:10:14,441 --> 00:10:15,441
Your booker.
304
00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:16,500
I told you, you needed me.
305
00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:18,540
No, I don't. I need you to stop.
306
00:10:18,550 --> 00:10:19,835
Ladies and gentlemen...
307
00:10:20,226 --> 00:10:21,525
I am proud...
308
00:10:21,535 --> 00:10:22,765
To announce...
309
00:10:22,775 --> 00:10:24,432
- That we have four... - No.
310
00:10:24,442 --> 00:10:26,601
- Character voices... - Zero characters.
311
00:10:26,611 --> 00:10:28,000
- Zero characters! - From this one right here.
312
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:28,500
Bobbie!
313
00:10:28,566 --> 00:10:29,801
This one is...
314
00:10:29,811 --> 00:10:31,192
Taj.
315
00:10:31,202 --> 00:10:33,699
The suicide bomber with Tourette's.
316
00:10:33,709 --> 00:10:34,767
He was tick,
317
00:10:34,777 --> 00:10:36,699
tick, tick... Boom!
318
00:10:39,898 --> 00:10:41,471
Okay, what's next?
319
00:10:42,518 --> 00:10:46,067
- Chong! - My cleaner clean any type of clothes!
320
00:10:46,462 --> 00:10:48,067
In my restaurant
321
00:10:48,077 --> 00:10:50,527
we'll cook any type of animal.
322
00:10:50,870 --> 00:10:52,532
Okay, and...
323
00:10:52,542 --> 00:10:55,574
- Fey Fey. - Oh, my god! This is so hard!
324
00:10:55,584 --> 00:10:57,125
Get your mind out of the gutter!
325
00:10:57,135 --> 00:10:58,842
I'm talking about my penis.
326
00:11:01,206 --> 00:11:02,951
And, of course...
327
00:11:02,961 --> 00:11:05,339
- Rigamarole. - Bobbie!
328
00:11:06,902 --> 00:11:09,300
Which I did not get a voice for, so...
329
00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:10,400
Oh, thank god.
330
00:11:10,705 --> 00:11:11,705
Let's hear it.
331
00:11:13,135 --> 00:11:14,300
Yeah, I would but I don't know the words...
332
00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:15,800
Get... up.
333
00:11:16,611 --> 00:11:17,867
Okay, I'm up.
334
00:11:17,877 --> 00:11:19,090
- Here. - Oh...
335
00:11:20,118 --> 00:11:21,259
I'll just read this...
336
00:11:24,302 --> 00:11:25,302
Rigamarole...
337
00:11:29,721 --> 00:11:32,566
"If you prick us, do we not bleed?"
338
00:11:33,510 --> 00:11:36,101
"If you tickle us, do we not laugh?"
339
00:11:37,066 --> 00:11:39,714
"If you poison us, do we not die?"
340
00:11:43,122 --> 00:11:44,742
"If you wrong us..."
341
00:11:46,531 --> 00:11:48,064
"Shall we not..."
342
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:49,314
"Revenge?"
343
00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:54,990
Uh, everyone, stay calm please.
344
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,647
Just a minor blackout.
345
00:11:56,657 --> 00:11:57,765
Where did he go?
346
00:11:58,143 --> 00:11:59,232
Where's...
347
00:11:59,242 --> 00:12:00,242
Where's Wray?
348
00:12:01,258 --> 00:12:02,400
Oh, god. Please, please, please.
349
00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:03,550
I'm not a racist, I'm not.
350
00:12:03,550 --> 00:12:06,582
I dated a black girl. She... She was half black.
351
00:12:06,592 --> 00:12:07,500
I don't know what the other half was.
352
00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:08,549
Will you shut up?
353
00:12:08,549 --> 00:12:09,751
One of the Chinas...
354
00:12:10,289 --> 00:12:11,300
But, please. You know what?
355
00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:12,500
She was a racist and that's why
356
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:14,100
- I bucked off that screw! - Stop talking!
357
00:12:14,185 --> 00:12:15,649
Shut up! This knife is sharp.
358
00:12:15,659 --> 00:12:18,593
Sweet god! Don't kill me! Don't kill me!
359
00:12:19,818 --> 00:12:21,400
Fuck! That was some dangerous shit, man.
360
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:22,400
Marion!
361
00:12:23,281 --> 00:12:24,746
Was that a zip tie?
362
00:12:25,673 --> 00:12:26,901
Oh, my god...
363
00:12:28,768 --> 00:12:30,817
Thank you. You saved my life!
364
00:12:30,827 --> 00:12:31,901
- Yeah. - You...
365
00:12:32,299 --> 00:12:33,300
Thank you for your service.
366
00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:35,100
Thank you for your service.
367
00:12:35,863 --> 00:12:37,243
Now see, you meant it that time.
368
00:12:38,809 --> 00:12:39,809
Fuck...
369
00:12:40,299 --> 00:12:42,130
Rigamarole was a white guy...
370
00:12:42,140 --> 00:12:43,140
Wow.
371
00:12:44,372 --> 00:12:46,274
You know "What's up, bitch?"?
372
00:12:46,284 --> 00:12:47,284
Yeah.
373
00:12:48,753 --> 00:12:49,500
Remember when the Taliban
374
00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:51,300
breached the Kabul airport?
375
00:12:52,122 --> 00:12:53,122
Yeah...
376
00:12:54,171 --> 00:12:55,900
It was like the mun... It was the municipal...
377
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:56,900
Ah, shit, stop.
378
00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:58,199
You don't remember shit.
379
00:13:00,869 --> 00:13:02,333
When we got back to base...
380
00:13:02,826 --> 00:13:04,798
And after the attack, we were fucked up.
381
00:13:05,935 --> 00:13:08,000
Then I found a VHS tape of Truck and Tractor
382
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,364
Pull bloopers on the Pakistan border,
383
00:13:10,851 --> 00:13:13,414
at a safehouse next to an Amish gas station.
384
00:13:14,504 --> 00:13:15,912
It was "What's up, bitch?".
385
00:13:16,222 --> 00:13:17,419
And we...
386
00:13:17,429 --> 00:13:18,985
We laughed...
387
00:13:18,995 --> 00:13:20,137
And laughed.
388
00:13:20,771 --> 00:13:22,200
And we watched it every night
389
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:23,600
til the end of our deployment.
390
00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:27,621
Thank you for your service.
391
00:13:31,915 --> 00:13:32,900
It was like I was in Kabul.
392
00:13:32,900 --> 00:13:34,900
No, it wasn't like you were in Kabul.
393
00:13:34,925 --> 00:13:35,985
No, but...
394
00:13:37,256 --> 00:13:39,577
But you don't find... the voices racist?
395
00:13:39,587 --> 00:13:41,382
Nah, it's funny.
396
00:13:41,392 --> 00:13:42,800
I mean, if it was, I'd have to kick your ass.
397
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,055
It's a personal rule.
398
00:13:44,425 --> 00:13:46,023
Doesn't matter how much I like you,
399
00:13:46,241 --> 00:13:47,700
I'd be obligated to kick your ass.
400
00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:48,700
Roger that.
401
00:13:50,346 --> 00:13:51,989
Can you break it down one more time?
402
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:54,151
- Rigamarole was my favorite. - Yeah?
403
00:13:55,017 --> 00:13:57,229
Oh, shit.
404
00:13:57,239 --> 00:13:58,764
My name is Rigamarole.
405
00:14:00,341 --> 00:14:02,482
Let me break it down for you...
406
00:14:03,330 --> 00:14:04,342
Girl...
407
00:14:04,855 --> 00:14:06,390
The human body is...
408
00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:07,822
Sixty percent water...
409
00:14:07,832 --> 00:14:09,994
And I'm about to use every drop of your ass.
410
00:14:10,004 --> 00:14:11,314
Broke it down!
411
00:14:11,897 --> 00:14:14,609
- Open the door! - Oh, Jesus, shit!
412
00:14:14,619 --> 00:14:16,000
Hey man, you gotta go. Go! Just go!
413
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:16,788
We know you're out there!
414
00:14:16,788 --> 00:14:18,214
My name Rigamarole,
415
00:14:18,224 --> 00:14:20,759
I got a four alarm fire in my pants,
416
00:14:21,168 --> 00:14:22,337
it's arson...
417
00:14:22,759 --> 00:14:25,140
Girl, you the only suspect!
418
00:14:25,150 --> 00:14:26,295
Broke it down!
419
00:14:27,180 --> 00:14:29,297
Oh, girl, that mocha skin...
420
00:14:29,804 --> 00:14:31,730
It has got me fighting a rigid limp.
421
00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:34,887
It is your brown versus my board of erection.
422
00:14:34,897 --> 00:14:36,156
Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...
423
00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:37,879
That was borderline.
424
00:14:37,889 --> 00:14:39,043
- It is? - Yeah.
425
00:14:39,498 --> 00:14:40,400
You know what, I'm gonna ask Kevin.
426
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:40,870
See what he thinks.
427
00:14:40,870 --> 00:14:41,400
I'm coming to get you!
428
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:43,894
No! But we were in Kabul together!
429
00:14:43,894 --> 00:14:45,321
No, we weren't.
430
00:14:46,771 --> 00:14:49,377
Get in! I told you, you would need me!
431
00:14:49,387 --> 00:14:51,264
- Did you hotwire my car? - No.
432
00:14:51,745 --> 00:14:53,200
Maybe...
433
00:14:53,210 --> 00:14:54,260
Yes.
434
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:58,860
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