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1
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Meanwhile, on "Con Man"...
2
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Are you Wray Nerely?
3
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Eh, no. I am not...
4
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Jack Moore. You guys, you're like best friends, right?
5
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Retard.
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To impede or hinder.
7
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Those fans are retarding me.
8
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Be who they think you are.
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Sean Astin? Is that your seat?
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- Yeah. - I am not moving.
11
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What the hell, man.
12
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- Sir, I need you to take your seat, please.
- Yes?
13
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Excuse me, sir. You wouldn't happen to be a sci-fi fan, would you?
14
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Fuck off.
15
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I think this man needs some warm nuts and maybe a towel.
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- Hot, hot, hot towels. - Sir...
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Con Man - Episode 2 - "Cash Poor"
18
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sync and corrections by sadako415 www.addic7ed.com
19
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Nerely!
20
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Don't eat them.
21
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Bobbie!
22
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What are you doing in my room?
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I wanted to make sure you got in okay.
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I'm not okay. I'm not okay. Look!
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I'm broken.
26
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Here.
27
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Why don't I get you something from the medicine chest.
28
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- Oh, god... - Promoters say they're very, very sorry.
29
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This is the cost difference between first class
30
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and coach, minus my 15%. Here.
31
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Could you just put it on the table? I wanna let it cool off a little bit.
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Okay. Oh...
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There's a script for you.
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- It's just a non-disclosure agreement... - No, no...
35
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- I have the script! - Bobbie...
36
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- It's a western! With Clint Eastwood! - Hush it down!
37
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Hush it down, no one...
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Is supposed to know about this.
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Well, I can know! I'm like your agent.
40
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No, no you're not.
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- My agent is like my agent. - I'm like your manager.
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No, you're like my science fiction convention booker
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because that's what you do. You book me at science fiction conventions.
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This has nothing to do with you.
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I happen...
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To have almost been in a little Clint Eastwood movie
47
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called "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly".
48
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- Really? - Yeah, I auditioned for the ugly.
49
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He even had a nickname for me...
50
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"Dirty, hairy...
51
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and mouthy".
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Hey... Wray...
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- Come on, I know I can help you with this. Here... - No.
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Have a little bit of wine, I think it's very expensive...
55
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Alcohol makes my face bloat,
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I have to play 30 for this role.
57
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Oh, boy. That's a stretch...
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- Hey, move over. Come on, let's go over the script together. - No.
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- No, Bobbie. - No, really,
60
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I think there's a part in there for me.
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- No! - Why? Come on, what are you, in pain?
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Why are you watching Spectrum?
63
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Oh, the hotel channel
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they're doing a whole marathon,
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- in your honor. They are big fans. - You know...
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science fiction is supposed to be about the future.
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Why are the fans so obsessed with the past?
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I'm almost out!
69
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- Who's that? - Oh, the convention sent over a personal assistant.
70
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How long has she been in there?
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She's sick.
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- Poopy sick. - Poopy sick?
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Is she a volunteer?
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Volunteers are all fans.
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Well, everybody is a fan, Wray!
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- Don't do that. - What?
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Your flattery retards my art.
78
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Okay? It retards it right up.
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Hello, Mr. Nerely.
80
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I'm Karen.
81
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You're dressed just like me... She's dressed...
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Just like me.
83
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Well...
84
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The shoes are off.
85
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How is that possible?
86
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Someone posted a picture of you online from the airport.
87
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And this way if stalkers are following you...
88
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I can draw them away because they'll think I am you. Plus...
89
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We're a team, right?
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Yeah, there's... there's no reason for this...
91
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There'll never ever be a reason...
92
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For a decoy...
93
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Is that smell you?
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I'm sorry.
95
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I think it was the Belaran bourbon balls someone brought to the party last night.
96
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I do need a fan, now, Bobbie, I need one
97
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that spins and moves the air around.
98
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Oh, come on, Wray, it's not that bad.
99
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Let's go.
100
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Such a little girl...
101
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-
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Karen?
103
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- Karen? - Karen had to crap a bunch more.
104
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Wray! Look at that line!
105
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I'm right over there.
106
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I'm signing autographs just a couple of tables down from you.
107
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- You're signing? - Yes!
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You know, I haven't always been a talent booker.
109
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I was in 12 sci-fi films.
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Okay... 6.
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3.
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2...
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One.
114
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Look...
115
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I'm still getting back spasms.
116
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Hey...
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Is Spastic...
118
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Seasonal Pem(mumbles)...
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- (continues mumbling) a thing? - Yeah, it's a thing.
120
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I had an aunt once was lousy with that stuff.
121
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Hi, sorry, I'm good.
122
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Good. Alright?
123
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Okay, are we ready, team?
124
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Let's go!
125
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Oh, yeah, I'm on my own.
126
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Okay, look, I've got an audition soon.
127
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I want to rehearse, so we need to get through this line fast.
128
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Let's see what you got.
129
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I love you, Wray!
130
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-
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Is that you?
132
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Yes, it is.
133
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Did they not have photography back then?
134
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Oh...
135
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Hey.
136
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You again. You want me to finish signing your shirt?
137
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You know, no... I'm alright... with that.
138
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I just came to get my lucky pen back... from ya.
139
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Sir, would you like an autograph?
140
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No, I have so many, they're actually... very heavy... in this...
141
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Tote.
142
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That... was given to me by Jason Momoa,
143
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the good Conan, so... if you could just give it back...
144
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That is why I am here.
145
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Is that his pen?
146
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No, it is not.
147
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You know? Cash... would return the pen.
148
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Really?
149
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Oh...
150
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My name is Wray.
151
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This is my pen.
152
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- No, it's not. - Yes, it is.
153
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- No it isn't. No, it's not.
- Is. Is too!
154
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Sir, you are insinuating that Mr. Nerely is a liar,
155
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a petty thief, and an arrogant asshole.
156
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Leave the line now!
157
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Damn!
158
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Next.
159
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Hi.
160
00:07:19,471 --> 00:07:20,499
Oh, my god...
161
00:07:21,234 --> 00:07:22,363
How ya doing?
162
00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:25,683
I'm a hugger, come on up here.
163
00:07:28,268 --> 00:07:29,036
Sir?
164
00:07:29,046 --> 00:07:30,336
- I need you to let go. - Okay.
165
00:07:33,550 --> 00:07:34,897
I'm so sorry.
166
00:07:34,907 --> 00:07:36,997
- I'll bring my taser next time. - Okay.
167
00:07:37,568 --> 00:07:38,766
Next.
168
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Hello.
169
00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:52,849
Can you make it out to Kevin?
170
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Okay.
171
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To Kevin...
172
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Here we go.
173
00:08:09,424 --> 00:08:11,342
- Can you just hand it to me? - Yes, there you go.
174
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Thank you very much.
175
00:08:14,233 --> 00:08:15,240
Next.
176
00:08:25,225 --> 00:08:27,144
You write something for me?
177
00:08:28,708 --> 00:08:31,144
I think... I know what you want me to write.
178
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I...
179
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Will...
180
00:08:36,956 --> 00:08:42,344
Willlllll...
181
00:08:42,354 --> 00:08:46,357
Seeeeeeee...
182
00:08:46,367 --> 00:08:48,170
Youuuu...
183
00:08:48,180 --> 00:08:52,533
In helllllllllllll!
184
00:08:55,222 --> 00:08:56,392
Your show...
185
00:08:56,715 --> 00:08:58,555
helped me to forget
186
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what happened to my village.
187
00:09:03,099 --> 00:09:04,718
I burn it down.
188
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Thank you.
189
00:09:09,331 --> 00:09:10,474
You are an angel...
190
00:09:10,787 --> 00:09:12,053
from the hell.
191
00:09:16,194 --> 00:09:17,228
Let's go.
192
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Oh my god, that was amazing. You are a machine!
193
00:09:23,228 --> 00:09:25,001
- Thank you, thank you. - You're a machine!
194
00:09:25,011 --> 00:09:26,317
I just...
195
00:09:32,336 --> 00:09:33,983
A soft serve machine.
196
00:09:35,248 --> 00:09:38,227
Remind me not to have any of those bourbon balls while I'm here.
197
00:09:38,237 --> 00:09:39,564
Is that my script?
198
00:09:39,574 --> 00:09:41,778
- That was in my pocket. - Yeah, so was your wallet.
199
00:09:42,729 --> 00:09:46,106
I needed to get some cash so I could make extra copies.
200
00:09:46,116 --> 00:09:48,297
- It's Clint Eastwood!
- Hush.
201
00:09:48,307 --> 00:09:49,735
Hush it down.
202
00:09:51,199 --> 00:09:53,104
No one is supposed to know about this.
203
00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:54,560
Well I think Clint...
204
00:09:54,570 --> 00:09:56,600
Wouldn't mind if I rehearsed with you.
205
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Okay, hush.
206
00:09:57,957 --> 00:09:59,525
Hush, please.
207
00:09:59,535 --> 00:10:00,736
Please.
208
00:10:00,746 --> 00:10:02,002
Keep your voice down.
209
00:10:03,818 --> 00:10:06,743
I am a professional actress.
210
00:10:07,028 --> 00:10:09,205
I have been in films,
211
00:10:09,215 --> 00:10:10,505
television,
212
00:10:10,515 --> 00:10:11,471
plays,
213
00:10:11,481 --> 00:10:12,899
circuses,
214
00:10:13,171 --> 00:10:14,496
training videos,
215
00:10:14,506 --> 00:10:16,874
commercials and snuff films.
216
00:10:16,884 --> 00:10:18,874
So, I think I can be trusted
217
00:10:18,884 --> 00:10:20,602
to run an audition with you.
218
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:22,874
Did you say snuff films?
219
00:10:22,884 --> 00:10:25,069
Yes, we botched the ending though...
220
00:10:26,038 --> 00:10:27,058
Okay...
221
00:10:27,555 --> 00:10:30,409
I will leave this with you if you keep quiet.
222
00:10:30,419 --> 00:10:32,106
- Yes! Okay. - Hush. Let's go.
223
00:10:32,156 --> 00:10:36,706
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