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1
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2
00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:09,400
A hideous monster burst from the
shadows and sat on my face.
3
00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,840
BTW, this black pudding is lush!
4
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:17,640
You must give me the recipe, garcon.
5
00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:20,000
Well, I mix some ash with a pint of
my own blood.
6
00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:21,280
(Coughs)
7
00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:23,440
Come on, everyone cooks with their
">own fluids.
8
00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:25,680
She's been recycling asparagus for
>years.
9
00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:27,520
God bless that persistent vegetable.
10
00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:29,560
(Coughs)
11
00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:36,080
">Hold him, hold him!
12
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,120
">Bite, bite!
13
00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:42,240
(Screaming)
14
00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:54,400
Those children have literally no
concept of special effects.
15
00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:56,200
Why did you terrify them?
16
00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:57,840
<">Because Alien's got a moral.
17
00:00:57,880 --> 00:00:59,120
Which is?
18
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,080
19
00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:03,120
">Look at Laura. She's in shock.
20
00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:06,560
That was the coolest thing ever.
Hell, yeah!
21
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,560
What's the problem? At her age, I
was watching terrifying films.
22
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:12,600
Alien, Scream, Nutty Professor II:
The Klumps.
23
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,160
Eddie Murphy... What happened?
24
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,400
But Laura's already living in a
horror film.
25
00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:19,720
I mean, her favourite food is your
black pudding.
26
00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:22,720
Anyway, shouldn't you be organising
a trip to the supermarket?
27
00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:26,120
Our food's going to run out in three
days. I've been extre
28
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:28,480
The kids weren't going to scar
themselves for life.
29
00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:31,520
So when are you leaving, then?
Me leave?
30
00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:33,360
The supermarket's in cannibal
country.
31
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:35,040
I don't want to be turned into a
kebab.
32
00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:40,400
Plus, with all due respect, there's
only one man I'd trust leading a 00:01:43,560
And who's that?
The only man who knows where it is.
34
00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:47,960
Looks like I'm back in the game.
35
00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:26,480
Gentlemen.
36
00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:29,200
Sweep.
37
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,920
Does that make you Dale Winton?
38
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,120
Yes, and I'm liberated by that.
39
00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:38,880
You and this dipshit will be
travelling to the most dangerous, 00:02:40,800
And I will be right behind you...
41
00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:43,440
Well, here, at home, in the old
eagle's nest.
42
00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:46,680
So let's start by establishing what
each of you bring.
43
00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:48,160
44
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,000
I'm Banksy.
45
00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:52,160
I'm slightly surprisingly good at
jumping.
46
00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:57,240
Like, if you looked at me and then
you saw me jump, you'd be like, oh, 00:02:59,520
You know the word "merk"? I invented
it.
48
00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:02,240
In the land of the blind, the
one-eyed man is king.
49
00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:06,400
That means literally nothing but
it's the kind of shit they say in 00:03:10,000
You're my deputy. Keep your eye and
ears on this one.
51
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:11,360
Are you sure, boss?
52
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:14,000
He's a shifty old bugger, is Tracy.
53
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:15,600
Well, he talks the talk.
54
00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:17,240
But I can burp half the alphabet.
55
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:20,040
Why only half?
I can't remember the rest.
56
00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:21,360
God, you're weird.
57
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,400
Right, any other skills?
58
00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:27,440
I'm really, really quiet.
O...K.
59
00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,960
Next on the agenda: what's the
biggest danger you guys face?
60
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,000
Wandering hands.
61
00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:35,760
Guilty. My hands.
62
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,720
Now, let's stir in the mushrooms.
63
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,720
Take a five-minute break, everyone.
64
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,000
Go on.
65
00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:51,680
Hi!
66
00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:53,040
Grazie.
67
00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:55,720
Goss. Me, Me, Me.
68
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:59,400
Yeah, I forgot how much I enjoy
being made to feel inadequate.
69
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,280
Because, what, the perfect woman
fellates utensils?
70
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:07,080
Any luck with the food? I'm down to
my last handful of woodlice.
71
00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:10,120
Well, Felix caught some rabbits.
Brilliant.
72
00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:12,880
Um, is there a recipe?
I usually boil them.
73
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:16,680
Oh, you boil rabbits?
Yep.
74
00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:18,720
You're a bunny boiler?
75
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:21,040
Yes.
76
00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:25,800
Oh, wow!
77
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:27,760
The radiation's gone to town on
those guys.
78
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,280
The mandibles are poisonous
79
00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:32,520
but there are some people that
consider the third eye a delicacy.
80
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:33,960
Right, that's it.
81
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,000
I'm going to the supermarket.
82
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,840
You are such a cliche.
83
00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:45,840
Oooh, why are they making hats?
84
00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:47,920
Gives them pride in their uniform.
85
00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:50,320
OK, boss, I think we're about done.
86
00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:52,360
OK, boys. Let's see 'em.
87
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,680
Now, the thinking is, we're dressed
">as ghosts.
88
00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:00,440
">So we can scare our enemies.
Oooh...
89
00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:02,760
">Why don't you just carry a burning
">cross?
90
00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:04,880
">Burning...cross.
91
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,080
Are you all morons?
92
00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:09,040
Just take your helmets off.
93
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,480
And just to clarify, is that a yes
or no to the burning cross?
94
00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:15,640
No. I think it's a no.
95
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:18,920
Come on.
96
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:27,640
Aftershave? No spray, no lay.
97
00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:29,320
No splash, no gash.
98
00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:33,000
No scent, no...quent.
99
00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:36,240
Medieval for pussy.
100
00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:39,480
Haven't you a toilet to dig? I ain't
going to be on bog watch for ever.
101
00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:42,920
But in the meantime, hope you like
sucking up the smell of my bum
102
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:44,960
103
00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:53,520
Let's get in the shower, Laura.
I don't want to shower with you.
104
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:56,320
Why are you behaving like this?
I want my independence.
105
00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,840
You can't even spell independence.
Yes, I can.
106
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,480
It's spelt Me, Me, Me.
107
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:04,360
And I am a fun, fearless female.
108
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,000
Shrieks) It's freezing!
109
00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:11,680
Oh, come on, it's not that cold.
110
00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:14,960
Not that cold? Don't take this the
wrong way but I haven't even got
111
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,120
Yeah, I know, it's not really doing
you any favours.
112
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,440
113
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,720
So when are you going to the
supermarket?
114
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:24,680
What, me personally? Never. It's
">dangerous, boring
115
00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:27,760
and there's still a chance I'd have
to use a self-checkout machine.
116
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,840
Fine. If you won't go, I will.
117
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,320
No way are you going with Oscar.
118
00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:34,160
Well, someone's got to supervise
him.
119
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,280
I've got an amazing team lined up.
120
00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:39,280
Seriously, one of them can jump
relatively far.
121
00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:42,360
You trust those morons and perverts
with such an important job?
122
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:45,080
Er, I'll have you know that those
perverts"
123
00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:48,120
are some of the most trustworthy
people I've ever met.
124
00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:50,040
Both shriek)
125
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:52,880
Get out of here, man.
126
00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,200
My bad.
127
00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:59,040
Well, credit where credit's due.
128
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:01,080
That guy is really quiet.
129
00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:06,320
Lolly?
130
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:07,800
Ambassador.
131
00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:10,800
No, suck on it, don't chew.
132
00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:12,840
That's what I told her.
133
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:16,280
Right! That's it, I'm coming to that
supermarket.
134
00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:17,680
(Laughs)
135
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:24,480
Can I have a hug?
No, because I'm a daddy's girl.
136
00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:25,880
">Can I have some money, please?
137
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:30,400
I think you've had enough of these.
OMG, this is a total mare.
138
00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:32,400
I need these to look fabulous!
139
00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:35,160
If I go to the supermarket, can you
keep an eye on her?
140
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:36,480
Oh, both eyes.
141
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:38,040
And talking of eyes...
142
00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:39,720
Beware of Tracy.
143
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,160
She's a heartbreaker.
144
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:43,360
Road trip, motherfuckers!
145
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,000
Cheering)
146
00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:50,240
See, I think it should be us keeping
an eye on them, m'lady.
147
00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:53,320
How d'you fancy a little adventure?
148
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,720
(Rapping) My only regret in life
is I can't be my own wife
149
00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:01,160
To feel what it's like to make love
to me
150
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:03,160
Ah, yeah!
Here's an idea.
151
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:08,240
Can you sing something really,
really quiet, like quiet
152
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:09,920
I don't listen to white people.
153
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,720
Other than Robin Thicke.
154
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,440
Blurred Lines - we've all been
there!
155
00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:18,480
I'm going to rip your bottom in
half
156
00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:20,800
Wow. You've got a great voice.
157
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:22,520
Don't you recognise this face?
158
00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:27,600
Spiteful factory woman in the Les
Mis Plymouth Theatre Royal ensemble
159
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:28,880
I don't like...
160
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:33,320
The prostitutes have no bread,
because they have no work.
161
00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:37,200
Gentlemen do not like their gums
162
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:41,040
I don't like musicals.
163
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,760
Fight on, fight on
164
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:46,840
Fight for the barricades
165
00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:49,120
Fight on, fight on
166
00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:51,160
Where did she even find a flag?
167
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:55,120
Do you remember at school when we
did that musical Cats?
168
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,440
Laughs)
169
00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:59,800
Yes, I played Macavity the Mystery
Cat and, yes, I wore leggings.
170
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,840
Get over it. My dad did. Eventually.
171
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:04,360
Oh, my gosh, you were moist.
172
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:07,040
Well, I didn't see you out there,
wowing the crowds.
173
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,960
That's cos I was backstage, wowing
Suze.
174
00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:11,960
">OK.
175
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,280
Cats.
176
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:16,120
I'm trying to think of something
funny to say about your pussy.
177
00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:18,040
Yeah, I know you are.
178
00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,000
You know what I do remember?
179
00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:21,880
Our first date.
180
00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:24,720
Went to the arcade,
played Night Of The Living Dead.
181
00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,160
Which one?
Three.
182
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:27,920
Yeah, with the pump-action shotguns.
183
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:29,320
That's a pretty good date.
184
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:32,360
Then I fingered you
round the back of Time Crisis II.
185
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:35,680
Kill me.
Happy days.
186
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,400
JACK JOHNSON: Better Together
187
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:46,560
Imitates animal cry)
188
00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:49,440
Giggling)
189
00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:50,880
Or places we got to be
190
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:53,840
We'll sit beneath the mango tree
now
191
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:58,120
Well, it's always better
when we're together
192
00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:01,800
Yeah, it's always better when
we're together
193
00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,840
Both laugh)
194
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,360
My very own fur coat!
195
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:09,360
Do you think the bunnies minded?
196
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:15,520
No! Flopsie and Mopsie told me
fashion comes first, just before
197
00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:18,080
Can I accessorise it
with some crocodile-skin boots?
198
00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:20,840
Could we compromise on some socks
made out of adder?
199
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:31,520
Shrieks)
200
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:33,760
It's all right, I've got your back,
boo.
201
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:37,200
See those building and shit?
Them's the cannibals' ends.
202
00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:38,520
What do we do?
203
00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:39,960
There's a route round back.
204
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:43,040
But we're going to have to be quiet
as a Rastamouse.
205
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:44,320
Oh, my God!
206
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:47,360
Irie, bruv. Irie.
207
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:53,480
Jesus.
208
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,360
Chaka Demus and Pliers.
209
00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,080
Reminds me of that party
210
00:10:57,120 --> 00:11:00,160
when I couldn't figure out the
privacy settings on Facebook.
211
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,480
When someone crapped in your
parents' bath?
212
00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:05,800
Classic. They never did catch the
Brown Pimpernel.
213
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,000
OK, let's spread out.
214
00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:11,560
Whoa, wait. Let's get out of here.
215
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:14,920
Look for food, clothes and water.
216
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:16,960
Move in twos.
Move in threes.
217
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:35,600
">Oh, my fucking God!
218
00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:37,760
Hello, boys and toys.
219
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,000
Please don't kill me.
220
00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:40,560
Who are you?
221
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,000
Stevie Giggle!
What?
222
00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:43,920
Kids' TV show. The Giggle Twins!
223
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:45,480
No kids, you're not seeing double!
224
00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:48,040
I'm Stevie, he's Sammy, and we're
here to cause...
225
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:49,320
BOTH: Trouble.
226
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:53,360
Whatever sticky-icky it is that
you're smoking, please can I have a puff?
227
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:56,360
How do you not recognise Stevie
Giggle?
228
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,800
If our mother could see us now!
That's the one.
229
00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:00,520
Speaks gibberish as tries to
repeat)
230
00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:03,160
What did you do as a kid?
Not watch every TV show ever made.
231
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,880
Too busy fingering?
I didn't finger anyone.
232
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:08,360
Incorrect. Fabric. 2008.
233
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,400
You. Me. Poppers.
234
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:12,400
Oh, yeah.
Spare me.
235
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,320
(Makes popping sound)
Mate, this is an honour.
236
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:19,000
Me and my sister used to play Giggle
Twins, like argue who gets to be=
237
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:21,680
Sammy? But I had the balloon tricks!
238
00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:23,760
Yeah, and they were kind of racist.
239
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:26,640
Black balloons, yellow balloons...
240
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:28,200
Oh, my God.
241
00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:30,640
It was the '80s. It was a different
time.
242
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:32,840
Where is your brother?
He wasn't my brother.
243
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:34,480
We were lovers.
244
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,040
Non-exclusive.
245
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:38,040
OK, you've just blown my mind.
246
00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:40,080
">Can I meet him?
He's over there.
247
00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:45,000
You ate him?
Rock, paper, scissors.
248
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:46,440
Sammy was a gentleman.
249
00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:49,000
Didn't try to Jew his way out of
it...
250
00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:50,400
No, not Jew.
251
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:53,440
A Jew is a person, not a verb.
252
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:56,400
That was a different time.
253
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:11,080
Really? I've heard of dead man's
shoes, but dead man's boxers?
254
00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,240
You've been going commando for a
year.
255
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,040
Don't act like it's not more
comfortable.
256
00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,240
What happened here, man?
257
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:19,560
This is some gangsta shit.
258
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,160
They came...
259
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,200
Who?
260
00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:25,360
Them.
261
00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:30,640
The gays?
262
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:32,440
These weren't gays, la.
263
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:34,680
They're called The Spectrum.
264
00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:38,200
Good with numbers, bad with people,
like Rain Man?
265
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:41,080
Nah, these weren't men. They're
birds.
266
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:45,840
Google Translate Scouse-to-Bredren:
you mean to say: yats did this?
267
00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:49,040
That's right. Lots of murderous
women.
268
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,520
Were they fit?
Fit? They were terrifying.
269
00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:53,680
A savage stampede of women.
270
00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:58,520
Hoarse, greedy animal cries escaping
from their blood-stained lips.
271
00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:00,240
Sounds like Boxing Day in Primark.
272
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:04,280
Well, obviously it wasn't that bad,
but it was still pretty scary.
273
00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:09,040
Listen, if I wanted to, like, swerve
em, could I come with you lads?
274
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,120
Definitely...
Definitely not.
275
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:13,680
I've still got my magical goody bag.
276
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,480
Come here, boys and toys!
277
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,560
Who wants to wear a Chinaman's hat?
278
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,000
You'll have to do better than that.
279
00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:27,680
This is our communications centre.
280
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,320
Me and Sammy were qualified
electricians.
281
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:32,360
The TV career had its ups and downs.
282
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:34,000
Mostly downs.
283
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,040
This is insane.
284
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,680
We used this transmitter to search
for other settlements.
285
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:41,480
That's how the Spectrum found us.
286
00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:43,440
These yats? What was their beef?
287
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:45,280
They wanted us to take their drugs.
288
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:46,840
They've got drugs?
289
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:48,160
Swagnificent.
290
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,520
Will they come back?
Why do you think I was hiding?
291
00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:52,960
Oh, let's get out of here, Tom.
292
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,320
Right after you've tried on these
boxers.
293
00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:00,280
Girls' night!
Oh, yeah!
294
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:02,400
Hot water bottle, madam?
295
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:03,680
These have come out a treat.
296
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:06,080
OK. So, erm...
297
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:09,480
It says we should talk about boys we
fancy.
298
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:13,520
Fancy boys? Not me. I'm as straight
as a die.
299
00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:17,360
Never find me going for a night-time
stroll down the "badger sets" of 00:15:19,600
No-one ever called me the Jolly Pink
Giant.
301
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:21,240
Then we tell each other secrets.
302
00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:22,720
OK, I'm gay.
303
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:24,720
There, I said it!
304
00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:26,480
God, that's a weight off my
shoulders.
305
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:28,760
Don't worry. Your secret's safe with
me.
306
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:31,400
Until Twitter turns us into
frenemies.
307
00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:34,320
You are my best friend.
You're my best friend too.
308
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:37,640
Breaks my heart that you'll never
see Ronan Keating sing.
309
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,480
">Oscar!
310
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:41,840
Quietly) Oscar...
311
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:43,880
Louder, Randal.
312
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:49,000
Oscar. Come on, man. We're all,
we're all waiting for you, dude.
313
00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:51,040
You're holding us up.
314
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,280
Don't bother.
315
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:59,680
Tell The Spectrum...we'll be wearing
red.
316
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,440
Impressive Morse Code, Tracy.
317
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,960
Can we slow down, Felix?
No can do.
318
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:14,000
Oscar's taken your folks on a
different road. We've lost 'em.
319
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:17,520
Oh, this shit just got real.
320
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:21,520
(Engine starts)
321
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,800
Look at that. Jackpot.
322
00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:25,280
How did you make it start?
323
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,840
Oh, I used to be a very bad man.
324
00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:30,240
Now, would you like a driving
lesson?
325
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:40,680
Buttercups.
326
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:42,800
I'm just going to pick some for
Laura.
327
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:47,280
How is this hedgerow still full of
porn?
328
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:50,720
Cos come the internet, nuclear
apocalypse,
329
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:55,640
hell or high water, there will
always be one man who prefers wanking alfresco.
330
00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:58,760
And I think that's kind of
beautiful.
331
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,400
Look! The supermarket.
332
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:04,640
Now dat is a buttercup.
333
00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,080
Hazza singing)
334
00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:17,560
Oi, Macavity, come and lend us a
paw.
335
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,840
I've strawberries aplenty
336
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,520
Whoops-a-Jay-Z.
337
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:29,960
Here, take this.
338
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,280
You'll need it more than me.
339
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:33,800
Why?
When I'm busy chirpsing Suze.
340
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:36,280
Screams)
341
00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:39,240
That's the wrong guy! It's this one!
342
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:41,200
What the fuck's going on?
343
00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:42,720
Tracy! Get off!
344
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:44,000
Oscar!
345
00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:46,920
Stop it! Ow!
346
00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:49,360
Coming home, mother
347
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,640
Get off me! No!
348
00:17:57,880 --> 00:17:59,880
Where did he take her?
In there.
349
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,840
I'm coming home...
350
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:10,920
The Spectrum?
Aye.
351
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:12,200
Have you got a weapon?
352
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:23,400
How's about this, boys and toys?
353
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:25,720
A balloon sword.
354
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:27,800
Why did you give it a bell-end?
355
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,200
">Old habits die hard.
356
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:32,040
">Die Hard! Stevie, you're brilliant.
357
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:34,200
Know how to commando roll?
No.
358
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:35,760
Watch and learn, my friend.
359
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,560
BEETHOVEN:
Symphony No.9 in D Minor
360
00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:50,760
Tracy, you wait outside.
361
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,640
Me and Suze need a parlay.
362
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:54,680
And possibly some make-up sex.
363
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,240
">Help me with this.
364
00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:58,920
Why don't we just break down the
door?
365
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:01,760
Because Bruce Willis always travels
by air vent.
366
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:06,280
Textbook.
367
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:09,120
You first. But you've got an arrow
in your shoulder.
368
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:10,720
What?
369
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:12,760
Yells)
370
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,920
Shrieks)
371
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:23,040
You can't hate me for loving you,
Suze. You're my perfect woman.
372
00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:25,840
Your perfect woman...?
373
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:29,960
Oh, God, oh, God, why I do I always
fall for the bad boy?
374
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:33,040
Oh, Susie, I...
375
00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:36,560
Screams)
376
00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:47,480
Hey! Tracy.
377
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,600
Listen, we can work this out.
378
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,920
What's Oscar promised you?
Women.
379
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:55,360
OK, but what about our community?
380
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:58,760
The self-sufficiency, the
friendship, the humble toil?
381
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:00,200
Women.
382
00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:02,760
Stop!
383
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,080
Tina can't beat Ike.
384
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,360
That just ain't hip-hop.
385
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:08,760
Shut up, you complete and utter
386
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,360
poppers-guzzling
387
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,400
quent!
388
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,400
God, you're quiet.
389
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:25,520
It's time I started using these
powers for good.
390
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:27,560
Cue Nickelback song.
391
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:30,040
hums)
392
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:33,600
Tom!
393
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,320
I thought you were dead.
No. It's OK.
394
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,000
It's all OK.
395
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:41,280
Er, I'm not so sure about that.
396
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:49,160
What's that?
Don't ask.
397
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:55,960
All right, grab all the food you
can, ladies.
398
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,680
We're busting you out of here.
399
00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:59,720
">Felix, you beautiful man!
400
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:03,800
Oi, big bear's mine, Goldilocks.
401
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,240
">Hope you don't burn your tongue on
">my porridge.
402
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:11,360
(Laughs)
Felix? What about the archers?
403
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:16,960
Oh, we're leading them a merry
little dance.
404
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,400
She's going to crash!
You say crash.
405
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,200
I say parking in style.
406
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,720
Nice driving, munchkin. I'll take it
from here.
407
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,760
Mummy!
408
00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:39,440
Let me in!
409
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:42,160
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
Wind up that window!
410
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:45,280
Please don't leave me there with
them. They ain't even peng!
411
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:47,000
Let go, you bastard.
412
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,040
(Screams)
413
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,000
Again? Seriously?
414
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,400
Oh, mate. You've changed.
415
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:01,960
(Engine starts)
416
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,160
Do you believe in life...
417
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:12,160
You all right, yats?
418
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,040
I like your dressing gowns.
419
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:16,080
I really don't think you're strong
enough
420
00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:17,480
Thanks, mate.
421
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,320
No worries, mate.
422
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:22,520
Mummy, did I tell you that I ran a
man over today?
423
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:25,360
No.
Yeah. He went splat.
424
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,360
I'm a bad man!
425
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:31,640
I really don't think you're strong
enough Everybody...
426
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:35,720
Do you believe in life after love?
427
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:42,200
I can feel something inside me say
428
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:45,280
I really don't think you're strong
enough
429
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:46,680
No
430
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:50,120
Do you believe in life after
love...
431
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:53,680
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432
00:22:53,730 --> 00:22:58,280
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