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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Previously on Call Me Fitz...
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We're goin' home.
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00:00:20,486 --> 00:00:21,987
Not until you tell me what you want.
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To know my daughter is happy
and healthy
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and free to sign a lease
on a new dealership.
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If you were permanently whacked out,
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00:00:28,326 --> 00:00:30,727
Daddy could get custodialcontrol of your life.
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This asshole isn't a doctor!
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She's hallucinating.
He's my father! He's trying to -
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Mr. Fitzpatrick.
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Are you okay?
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Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.
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You just sounded so sad.
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Iris.
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00:00:44,141 --> 00:00:45,975
Oh... Larry.
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No one knows the swarthy
savior's secret origin,
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00:00:48,879 --> 00:00:50,079
but one thing is certain...
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00:00:50,147 --> 00:00:52,348
The costumed vigilante "Ethnic Man"
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is quickly becoming a local legend.
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It's not Ethnic Man, it's Every Man.
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And Ethnic Man is voting
for Richard Fitzpatrick.
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Every Man.
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00:01:01,490 --> 00:01:03,692
No, he's voting for Chester Vince.
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00:01:03,759 --> 00:01:05,694
Can't we all just get along?
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That answer your question,
cracker ass?
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Everyone tells you to be yourself.
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For most people, that'sa shit piece of advice.
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Because they're losers.
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You want my advice?
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Be like Fitz.
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Mornin', sweet knees.
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Richard Fitzpatrick for City Council.
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Number one car salesman in Coverton...
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Most desirable bachelor in town...
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When do you turn eighteen?
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After all, I'm charming, handsome...
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...And irresistibleto the ladies.
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Hey, Babe.
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The name's Richard Fitzpatrick.
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You're that sleaze merchant
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00:01:50,636 --> 00:01:52,271
with the Vegas
knock-off lounge?
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That's another Richard Fitzpatrick.
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00:01:58,345 --> 00:02:00,478
Fuck.
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00:02:04,183 --> 00:02:07,252
What's it going to take
to get rid of you, Son?
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I could feed you some crap
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about rezoning bla
bla fucking bullshit.
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00:02:10,956 --> 00:02:13,124
But what I really want is a scotch,
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a T-bone and eggs,
and to get my nut off.
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Ribeye all right?
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Giddy-up.
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Come on, fuck me, Grandma!
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So fuck what people say.
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I'm in it to win it.
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You've got my vote, Fitz.
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And nobody can press the flesh
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like good old Fitzy.
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This election is all mine.
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Fuck.
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Tough day on the campaign trail?
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Yes, actually.
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I'm being facetious, idiot.
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Four angry husbands
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00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,541
and sixteen sexual
harassment complaints?
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00:03:42,609 --> 00:03:44,944
Did you really have to sleep
with a seventy-six year old?
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Not my fault her husband
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couldn't get the job done downtown.
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00:03:48,615 --> 00:03:51,950
Rabbi Kinkman has been
in a coma since '89.
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00:03:52,017 --> 00:03:54,452
Now, thanks to you, Edith Kinkman,
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00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:56,253
the President of the
Coverton Ladies Auxiliary,
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the most powerful women's
group in town, is dead.
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No one knows I banged her.
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00:04:00,392 --> 00:04:02,826
And I slipped a few bills
to the coroner for insurance.
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00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:05,029
Relax, Foxley.
I got this.
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00:04:05,097 --> 00:04:06,230
Got what?
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00:04:06,298 --> 00:04:07,698
A campaign that has zero focus,
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00:04:07,765 --> 00:04:10,368
no platform and not a
single female supporter?
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00:04:10,435 --> 00:04:12,069
This is serious, Fitz.
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00:04:12,137 --> 00:04:14,405
When it comes to the ladies,
Fitzy is always serious.
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00:04:14,473 --> 00:04:17,807
And that is a seriously hot dress.
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00:04:17,875 --> 00:04:20,410
First the rich, then
the ethnics, now women.
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00:04:20,478 --> 00:04:22,645
Is there anyone you
can get along with?
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00:04:22,713 --> 00:04:25,148
Fear not!
Larry has a plan.
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00:04:25,216 --> 00:04:26,983
A plan?
How cute.
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00:04:27,051 --> 00:04:28,818
What we need to do
is reset-
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00:04:28,886 --> 00:04:30,987
No.
What we need to do is reset.
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00:04:31,055 --> 00:04:33,989
Get some kind of female
organization to endorse you.
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The Ladies Auxiliary.
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00:04:35,791 --> 00:04:37,326
If Edith's cronies back you,
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00:04:37,394 --> 00:04:39,161
people will believe your
little "natural causes" story.
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00:04:40,263 --> 00:04:41,730
Nah.
That sounds like work.
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00:04:41,797 --> 00:04:43,198
What I was going
to suggest -
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00:04:43,266 --> 00:04:45,200
I'm sorry, did I forget
to tell you to shut up?
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00:04:45,268 --> 00:04:48,970
...was that we arrange an
interview with Melody Gray.
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00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:51,005
That Ann Coulter wannabe?
She'll decimate him.
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00:04:51,073 --> 00:04:52,806
Look whose little high school feud
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00:04:52,874 --> 00:04:55,109
is getting in the way
of Richard's campaign.
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00:04:55,177 --> 00:04:57,345
Every woman and homosexual in Coverton
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00:04:57,413 --> 00:04:58,812
follows Melody Gray.
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00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:02,183
If anyone can reset his
reputation, it's her.
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Bar's open.
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00:05:05,553 --> 00:05:07,354
I'll leave you ladies to duke it out.
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00:05:11,759 --> 00:05:14,161
Your attempts to
annoy me are pathetic.
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00:05:14,228 --> 00:05:17,997
And yet you look quite annoyed.
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00:05:28,775 --> 00:05:30,776
Any comment on Richard
Fitzpatrick's role
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00:05:30,843 --> 00:05:33,011
in the untimely - and some
might say, homicidal -
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00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:34,413
death of Edith Kinkman?
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00:05:34,481 --> 00:05:35,747
No story there, honey.
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00:05:35,815 --> 00:05:36,915
She was alive when he left that house.
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I'd like to hear it from the horse.
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00:05:38,451 --> 00:05:40,685
He's at the trough.
And has no comment either.
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00:05:40,686 --> 00:05:42,587
Then why did Larry call
to set up a one-on-one??
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00:05:42,654 --> 00:05:44,055
Larry did what?
He asked for a favor.
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00:05:45,624 --> 00:05:48,126
A chance for Richard
to clear his name.
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Poor Dot.
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00:05:50,062 --> 00:05:51,662
You've lost control of Richard,
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and now you're losing control
of that limp string bean.
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I told Larry to call you.
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The interview was my idea.
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00:06:00,238 --> 00:06:02,639
Fine, then it's settled.
Tomorrow at noon.
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00:06:02,707 --> 00:06:04,774
And you have something in your teeth.
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00:06:17,654 --> 00:06:19,222
No, Mr. Fitzpatrick.
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00:06:19,289 --> 00:06:23,025
I cannot just
"motherfucking let you go."
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00:06:23,093 --> 00:06:25,494
I'm giving you a golden
opportunity here:
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00:06:25,561 --> 00:06:27,795
submit to a psychiatric evaluation
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00:06:27,863 --> 00:06:30,732
and the hospital won't take
legal action against you.
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00:06:32,901 --> 00:06:35,570
At least give me a drink.
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00:06:35,638 --> 00:06:39,341
Good.
We'll start tomorrow.
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00:06:39,408 --> 00:06:41,742
The effects of detox
should settle by then.
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00:06:50,652 --> 00:06:52,853
Fuck banana party time.
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00:06:54,523 --> 00:06:56,857
Come on baby,
you know what I'm saying.
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00:06:56,924 --> 00:06:58,391
Just had to come here
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00:06:58,459 --> 00:07:00,926
to rub it in my face, didn't you?
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00:07:00,994 --> 00:07:02,462
Get out.
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00:07:02,530 --> 00:07:04,864
Punch carpool to the pussycat.
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00:07:04,931 --> 00:07:06,332
Capiche?
137
00:07:33,425 --> 00:07:35,826
"The new abstinent
Richard Fitzpatrick"?
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00:07:35,894 --> 00:07:38,162
What kind of Duchovny
bullshit is this?
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00:07:38,230 --> 00:07:39,897
It's a press release
informing the public
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00:07:39,964 --> 00:07:41,299
that as of now,
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00:07:41,366 --> 00:07:42,600
you won't be trolling for
votes with your penis.
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00:07:42,668 --> 00:07:44,268
This is the new Richard Fitzpatrick,
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00:07:44,336 --> 00:07:46,002
the one who plays by my rules.
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00:07:46,070 --> 00:07:47,637
I don't do rules.
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00:07:47,705 --> 00:07:48,871
One.
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00:07:48,939 --> 00:07:50,006
You keep your little
friend in your pants
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00:07:50,074 --> 00:07:52,242
till after the election or I'm out.
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00:07:52,310 --> 00:07:53,810
No sex.
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00:07:53,877 --> 00:07:55,144
Especially not with that
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00:07:55,213 --> 00:07:56,680
soul sucking media whore Melody Gray.
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00:07:56,747 --> 00:07:58,114
But sex is my thing!
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00:07:58,182 --> 00:08:00,116
Do you want your precious bar back?
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00:08:00,184 --> 00:08:02,318
Then park the pecker and man up.
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00:08:02,385 --> 00:08:03,785
Two.
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00:08:03,853 --> 00:08:05,454
You win the election,
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00:08:05,522 --> 00:08:07,323
you make me City Manager.
157
00:08:07,390 --> 00:08:09,458
That's the job those drones
give to old war buddies.
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00:08:09,526 --> 00:08:10,726
Their friends.
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00:08:10,793 --> 00:08:12,160
Well, that makes rule
number one easier.
160
00:08:12,229 --> 00:08:13,729
Because friends don't sleep
with friends' friends.
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00:08:13,796 --> 00:08:15,264
Or their enemies.
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00:08:15,332 --> 00:08:17,565
Or in your case -
anyone at all.
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00:08:17,633 --> 00:08:19,200
So now we're friends?
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00:08:19,268 --> 00:08:21,236
Look at us, standing here,
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00:08:21,303 --> 00:08:24,505
your penis out and me not fucking it.
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00:08:24,573 --> 00:08:26,307
I guess we are.
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00:08:27,776 --> 00:08:30,445
I've never been friends
with a broad before.
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00:08:30,512 --> 00:08:33,480
Funny, me neither.
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00:08:38,353 --> 00:08:39,753
I do not understand.
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00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:42,489
We sell more cars than Ken
Fitzpatrick ever could,
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00:08:42,557 --> 00:08:43,923
and yet we make no profit.
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00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:46,926
Then how did that white
devil succeed for so long?
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00:08:48,663 --> 00:08:49,828
What's up -
here's Ken's cut.
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00:08:49,896 --> 00:08:51,297
I guess it's yours now.
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00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,000
From Joey.
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For the scrap metal.
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00:08:56,570 --> 00:08:58,671
Fitzpatrick sells scrap metal?
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00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:00,973
Yeah.
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00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:02,541
Car sales is a loss leader, dude.
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00:09:02,609 --> 00:09:05,244
At least that's what Fitzy says.
181
00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:07,746
We send our shitboxes to
Joey at the junkyard.
182
00:09:07,846 --> 00:09:09,748
He crushes them and
sells them for scrap.
183
00:09:09,815 --> 00:09:11,483
We take 80 percent of the sale,
184
00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:12,717
and make our money back...
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00:09:12,785 --> 00:09:15,353
Trip-ular-ily.
186
00:09:15,421 --> 00:09:17,289
No, that's not a word.
187
00:09:19,425 --> 00:09:21,425
What else does the heathen say?
188
00:09:31,436 --> 00:09:33,937
Larry!
I was hoping you'd come.
189
00:09:35,540 --> 00:09:38,941
I'm happy to see you too Iris,
190
00:09:39,009 --> 00:09:41,210
since you seem to be my
only female friend and -
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00:09:41,278 --> 00:09:42,912
I can call you that, right?
192
00:09:42,979 --> 00:09:44,747
The icing on my man cake?
193
00:09:44,815 --> 00:09:46,349
The icing?
194
00:09:46,417 --> 00:09:47,917
Can't I be the cake?
195
00:09:47,984 --> 00:09:49,819
Of course.
And I'm the icing!
196
00:09:49,886 --> 00:09:51,554
You can be the cake.
197
00:09:51,622 --> 00:09:52,855
Do you want to be the cake?
198
00:09:52,923 --> 00:09:54,289
Because women can be
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00:09:54,357 --> 00:09:56,558
any confection they desire!
200
00:09:56,626 --> 00:09:57,726
Never mind.
201
00:09:57,794 --> 00:09:59,861
Tell me about your day.
202
00:09:59,929 --> 00:10:01,896
Okay, well...
203
00:10:01,964 --> 00:10:03,732
Today was the day I showed Dot Foxley
204
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:06,234
that I too am a person of action.
205
00:10:06,302 --> 00:10:07,436
Ooh!
206
00:10:07,503 --> 00:10:08,837
Yeah, I know.
207
00:10:08,904 --> 00:10:10,003
Melody Gray is going
to interview Richard,
208
00:10:10,071 --> 00:10:11,505
and once he tells his
side of the story,
209
00:10:11,573 --> 00:10:12,940
his name will be cleared -
210
00:10:13,007 --> 00:10:14,875
kinda thanks to me.
211
00:10:14,943 --> 00:10:16,310
And my understanding
212
00:10:16,378 --> 00:10:18,379
of how the overly complicated
female mind works.
213
00:10:18,447 --> 00:10:20,748
No offense.
214
00:10:20,816 --> 00:10:22,350
There's just something
about a man of action -
215
00:10:22,417 --> 00:10:24,385
he exudes confidence.
216
00:10:24,453 --> 00:10:25,485
Yes!
217
00:10:25,553 --> 00:10:26,853
And that's why I think
218
00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:28,722
a guy like you could
have any woman you want.
219
00:10:28,789 --> 00:10:30,957
You're like a magnet.
220
00:10:31,024 --> 00:10:32,792
You're right...
I know...
221
00:10:32,860 --> 00:10:35,562
Richard is a magnet for women.
222
00:10:35,629 --> 00:10:36,863
No doubt Melody Gray
223
00:10:36,930 --> 00:10:38,598
will succumb to his animal magnetism.
224
00:10:38,666 --> 00:10:40,199
And I yours.
225
00:10:40,267 --> 00:10:41,533
If anything were to happen
between Richard and Melody,
226
00:10:41,601 --> 00:10:43,736
it would ruin the
point of the interview.
227
00:10:43,803 --> 00:10:45,371
Larry, I want you.
228
00:10:45,438 --> 00:10:48,073
Richard has never gone this
long without carnal relations.
229
00:10:48,140 --> 00:10:49,541
Now you're just teasing me.
230
00:10:49,609 --> 00:10:50,843
Oh god, Iris!
231
00:10:50,910 --> 00:10:53,311
What if Richard does that to Melody?
232
00:10:53,380 --> 00:10:55,213
Oh no!
233
00:10:55,281 --> 00:10:57,849
Thank you, Iris, for
your words of wisdom.
234
00:10:59,251 --> 00:11:01,686
We really have something in common.
235
00:11:01,754 --> 00:11:03,488
Somehow, I doubt that.
236
00:11:05,491 --> 00:11:07,358
I gotta go!
237
00:11:14,899 --> 00:11:16,366
Leave a message.
238
00:11:16,434 --> 00:11:18,402
Look, sir, I know we had a deal,
239
00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:20,370
but things have gotten...
240
00:11:20,438 --> 00:11:22,138
complicated.
241
00:11:22,206 --> 00:11:24,674
This is going to cost you
a lot more than minimum wage.
242
00:11:34,851 --> 00:11:36,552
Fucking calluses.
243
00:11:36,620 --> 00:11:39,154
Lefty's been working overtime,
if you know what I'm saying.
244
00:11:39,222 --> 00:11:40,523
How about you pretend to not be
245
00:11:40,590 --> 00:11:42,691
a degenerate sex addict
for five minutes?
246
00:11:42,759 --> 00:11:44,527
Well I think Richard
has an enormous capacity
247
00:11:44,594 --> 00:11:48,029
for penetrating the
female demographic.
248
00:11:50,766 --> 00:11:52,333
Do you want me to eat your face off?
249
00:11:52,401 --> 00:11:53,367
I do not.
250
00:11:53,436 --> 00:11:56,538
Use my cards.
Nothing else.
251
00:11:56,605 --> 00:11:57,705
She asks a question,
252
00:11:57,773 --> 00:11:59,140
all the answers are color coded.
253
00:11:59,207 --> 00:12:00,742
And just be your best self, Richard.
254
00:12:00,810 --> 00:12:01,975
But different.
255
00:12:02,043 --> 00:12:04,210
Much, much different.
256
00:12:06,380 --> 00:12:07,714
Uh-uh.
257
00:12:07,782 --> 00:12:10,183
I told you I'd only do
this one-on-one, Foxley.
258
00:12:10,251 --> 00:12:11,919
No spin doctors, skinny retards,
259
00:12:11,986 --> 00:12:13,787
or once-fat redheads.
260
00:12:16,357 --> 00:12:17,990
Relax, I got this.
261
00:12:18,058 --> 00:12:19,325
Of course you do.
262
00:12:19,392 --> 00:12:20,560
Do you?
263
00:12:20,627 --> 00:12:21,828
Yeah.
264
00:12:23,797 --> 00:12:25,832
He fucks this up, you die first.
265
00:12:28,068 --> 00:12:29,435
Hi.
266
00:12:42,348 --> 00:12:44,816
To relax you.
267
00:12:44,884 --> 00:12:46,618
Bottoms up.
268
00:12:46,686 --> 00:12:48,353
So, Fitz.
269
00:12:48,420 --> 00:12:49,787
I'd love to hear your take
270
00:12:49,855 --> 00:12:51,321
on those pesky little rumors
271
00:12:51,389 --> 00:12:53,991
that you killed the President
of the Ladies Auxiliary.
272
00:12:54,058 --> 00:12:55,693
Uh, what happened to Edith Kinkman
273
00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:57,995
was a tragedy.
274
00:12:58,062 --> 00:12:59,497
And an accident
275
00:12:59,564 --> 00:13:01,899
that I was not involved in whatsoever.
276
00:13:01,967 --> 00:13:03,667
You've got to give me something more
277
00:13:03,735 --> 00:13:06,102
than clich�d sound bites
and talking points.
278
00:13:06,169 --> 00:13:07,871
Come on, Toots.
Don't get your panties...
279
00:13:10,841 --> 00:13:12,241
No comment.
280
00:13:13,544 --> 00:13:15,678
I would like to talk to you, however,
281
00:13:15,746 --> 00:13:19,081
about my gender equality policies.
282
00:13:19,149 --> 00:13:21,317
Oh, go on...
283
00:13:23,953 --> 00:13:27,556
Um...uh...
284
00:13:27,624 --> 00:13:30,225
I'll show Foxley.I can do this.
285
00:13:30,292 --> 00:13:33,461
I do believe that women are...
286
00:13:33,530 --> 00:13:38,566
...entitled to a full
year of maternity leave.
287
00:13:40,002 --> 00:13:41,869
You know what I think I'm entitled to?
288
00:13:43,939 --> 00:13:45,907
Uh...
289
00:13:45,974 --> 00:13:48,142
A quote on how
Ms. Kinkman died.
290
00:13:48,209 --> 00:13:50,110
But if you're reluctant,
291
00:13:50,178 --> 00:13:52,613
you could make it up
to me in another way.
292
00:13:52,681 --> 00:13:53,947
What did you have in mind?
293
00:13:54,015 --> 00:13:55,815
I really like to...
294
00:13:55,883 --> 00:13:58,752
...immerse myself
in my stories.
295
00:13:58,819 --> 00:14:01,220
I like to get to know my subjects...
296
00:14:01,288 --> 00:14:03,422
intimately.
297
00:14:03,489 --> 00:14:05,457
And now that you're a politician...
298
00:14:05,525 --> 00:14:07,059
you would be surprised
299
00:14:07,126 --> 00:14:09,361
how willing people are to open up
300
00:14:09,429 --> 00:14:12,330
given the right circumstances...
301
00:14:12,398 --> 00:14:13,799
...Fitz.
302
00:14:14,834 --> 00:14:16,234
Oh, Fitzy.
303
00:14:18,503 --> 00:14:19,737
Fitzy!
304
00:14:20,773 --> 00:14:23,775
Come here, Fitzy...
305
00:14:24,977 --> 00:14:26,110
I can do this.
I can do this.
306
00:14:26,178 --> 00:14:27,311
Get it together, Fitz.
307
00:14:27,379 --> 00:14:29,647
Fitz!
Fitzy!
308
00:14:29,715 --> 00:14:31,015
Dead baby kittens.
Bunnies dead on the road.
309
00:14:31,083 --> 00:14:32,550
Think pink.
310
00:14:32,618 --> 00:14:33,984
No...
311
00:14:34,052 --> 00:14:36,453
Nobody refuses Melody Gray!
312
00:14:38,957 --> 00:14:40,891
Uh, Miss Gray!
313
00:14:40,959 --> 00:14:42,826
Miss Gray, please wait!
314
00:14:42,894 --> 00:14:44,394
I don't know what happened in there,
315
00:14:44,462 --> 00:14:46,162
but before you assassinate
Richard's character...
316
00:14:46,230 --> 00:14:47,831
please understand he's the product
317
00:14:47,899 --> 00:14:50,666
of years of emotional neglect
and conditional love.
318
00:14:50,734 --> 00:14:53,002
Fitzpatrick has psychological issues.
319
00:14:53,070 --> 00:14:54,303
Bla bla blah.
320
00:14:54,370 --> 00:14:55,938
I don't know if I'd
call a mommy fetish
321
00:14:56,006 --> 00:14:57,740
a psychological issue.
322
00:14:57,808 --> 00:14:59,575
He's hired someone to help
him work through that.
323
00:14:59,643 --> 00:15:00,977
Prostitutes are old news.
324
00:15:01,044 --> 00:15:02,411
No, she's a dominatrix!
325
00:15:02,479 --> 00:15:04,046
But geriatric sex killer?
326
00:15:04,114 --> 00:15:05,981
Now that's front page.
327
00:15:06,048 --> 00:15:08,116
Richard did not kill Edith Kinkman!
328
00:15:08,183 --> 00:15:09,985
Richard is a friend to women!
329
00:15:10,052 --> 00:15:12,386
And all genders!
330
00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:16,324
Of course.
You and Richard are lovers.
331
00:15:16,391 --> 00:15:19,694
Geriatric sex killer
hides behind gay lover.
332
00:15:19,762 --> 00:15:21,329
You know what?
That could work.
333
00:15:21,396 --> 00:15:23,030
Thanks Larry!
334
00:15:23,098 --> 00:15:24,364
No, no.
No, no, no.
335
00:15:29,504 --> 00:15:30,704
Richard!
336
00:15:30,772 --> 00:15:33,073
Not now, fuck sauce.
I'm not in the mood.
337
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:34,474
Um, you know how I'm
always telling you
338
00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:37,410
not to take people hostage?
339
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,214
I know you're out there,you moronic beanpole!
340
00:15:42,282 --> 00:15:43,582
Let me out!
341
00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:45,518
What the fuck?
Richard, please don't be mad.
342
00:15:45,585 --> 00:15:47,120
I didn't know what else to do.
343
00:15:47,187 --> 00:15:48,487
She tried to make me confess
344
00:15:48,555 --> 00:15:50,056
that you killed Ms. Kinkman
with your penis,
345
00:15:50,124 --> 00:15:51,390
so I grabbed for her camera
346
00:15:51,458 --> 00:15:52,892
and one thing led to another and...
347
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:53,992
...And you locked Coverton's
most prominent journalist
348
00:15:54,060 --> 00:15:55,560
in the trunk of a car?
349
00:15:55,628 --> 00:15:57,395
How the fuck is that going
to help me with the dame vote?
350
00:15:57,463 --> 00:15:59,197
The correct term is "female vote"
351
00:15:59,265 --> 00:16:00,431
and I didn't want you to get caught
352
00:16:00,499 --> 00:16:01,767
in her evil clutches.
353
00:16:01,834 --> 00:16:03,101
When I tell the world
what you've done,
354
00:16:03,169 --> 00:16:04,369
you're both going to fry!
355
00:16:04,436 --> 00:16:05,871
I should have just fucked her!
356
00:16:05,938 --> 00:16:07,338
You got her phone, right?
357
00:16:07,406 --> 00:16:09,407
It all happened so fast...
358
00:16:09,475 --> 00:16:10,641
Jesus, Larry,
359
00:16:10,709 --> 00:16:11,976
have you never taken a hostage before?
360
00:16:12,044 --> 00:16:13,443
I've watched while you have.
361
00:16:13,511 --> 00:16:15,012
Using that!
362
00:16:18,316 --> 00:16:19,583
Fuck, it's Dot.
363
00:16:19,651 --> 00:16:20,918
Please don't tell her!
She'll kill me.
364
00:16:20,986 --> 00:16:22,319
Oh, I won't.
365
00:16:22,387 --> 00:16:24,321
Because I want to be
able to kill you first.
366
00:16:24,389 --> 00:16:25,589
Yeah.
367
00:16:25,657 --> 00:16:27,057
How'd it go with Melody?
368
00:16:27,124 --> 00:16:28,424
Fan-fucking-tastic.
369
00:16:28,492 --> 00:16:29,559
Keys!
370
00:16:29,626 --> 00:16:31,027
That's great!
I have good news too.
371
00:16:31,095 --> 00:16:33,462
The Ladies Auxilary is hosting
a 24 hour hula-thon.
372
00:16:33,530 --> 00:16:35,999
24 hour
what-the-fuck-a-thon?
373
00:16:36,067 --> 00:16:37,366
They hula hoop for 24 hours.
374
00:16:37,434 --> 00:16:38,868
Raise money for the woman's shelter.
375
00:16:38,936 --> 00:16:40,536
You're taking Edith's spot.
376
00:16:40,604 --> 00:16:42,370
Can't I just write a cheque?
377
00:16:42,438 --> 00:16:43,872
You want to save your
political career?
378
00:16:43,940 --> 00:16:45,674
Photo Op.
Twenty minutes.
379
00:16:45,742 --> 00:16:47,109
Fuck!
380
00:16:50,013 --> 00:16:53,348
First murder, now kidnapping?
You just got me my own show!
381
00:16:53,416 --> 00:16:55,617
Ms. Gray, this
was an unfortunate accident.
382
00:16:55,685 --> 00:16:57,552
A friend helping out a friend.
383
00:16:57,620 --> 00:16:59,053
Really,
Larry-nothing-comes-up-
384
00:16:59,121 --> 00:17:00,354
with a-background-check?
385
00:17:00,422 --> 00:17:01,589
What other evil lurks
386
00:17:01,656 --> 00:17:03,091
beneath the unfortunate sweater vest?
387
00:17:03,158 --> 00:17:05,126
I am not a deviant!
388
00:17:05,194 --> 00:17:08,129
Yeah? You are now!
389
00:17:08,197 --> 00:17:11,665
Breaking news! Geriatricsex killer running for office!
390
00:17:11,734 --> 00:17:13,167
When the police find me here,
391
00:17:13,235 --> 00:17:15,669
trapped and terrified,
392
00:17:15,737 --> 00:17:18,805
but determined to see a
murderer brought to justice -
393
00:17:18,873 --> 00:17:21,007
a star will be born.
394
00:17:21,075 --> 00:17:22,809
Fuck!
This is not how this works!
395
00:17:22,877 --> 00:17:24,911
Find Josh and get this trunk open.
396
00:17:24,979 --> 00:17:26,880
I'll be back in half an hour.
397
00:17:26,948 --> 00:17:28,282
Don't worry, buddy.
398
00:17:28,350 --> 00:17:30,483
I will restore the female
population's faith in you
399
00:17:30,551 --> 00:17:32,285
if it is the last thing that I do!
400
00:17:32,353 --> 00:17:34,354
You really are the world's
biggest douchebag.
401
00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:36,822
I was not talking to you.
402
00:17:39,293 --> 00:17:40,993
Doc...
403
00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:42,662
Doc!
404
00:17:42,730 --> 00:17:44,497
I don't even know why I'm here.
405
00:17:44,565 --> 00:17:46,165
I'd argue that a lifetime
406
00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:48,400
of alcohol dependency
is why you're here.
407
00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:50,769
You gotta give me something
to take the edge off.
408
00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:53,004
I can't stand the sight of her.
409
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,140
The sight of who,
Mr. Fitzpatrick?
410
00:17:55,207 --> 00:17:57,008
Who the fuck do you think, you quack?
411
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,210
Doctor, garbage book tooth impaction.
412
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:00,712
Got it?
413
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:03,347
Stay the fuck away from me,
you gnarled penis clamp.
414
00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:05,082
Ken...
415
00:18:05,150 --> 00:18:07,117
Can I call you Ken?
416
00:18:07,185 --> 00:18:08,619
You're safe here.
417
00:18:08,687 --> 00:18:10,988
We'll talk about this in session, Ken.
418
00:18:15,860 --> 00:18:19,162
Ah, ladies, hey, all right!
419
00:18:19,229 --> 00:18:20,630
I'm Richard Fitzpatrick
420
00:18:20,698 --> 00:18:22,332
I'm running for city council,
how you doing?
421
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:23,866
Say cheese!
422
00:18:23,934 --> 00:18:27,404
Okay, great.
That was great.
423
00:18:27,471 --> 00:18:29,906
Okay, excuse us just a second.
424
00:18:29,973 --> 00:18:31,107
What happened in the interview?
425
00:18:31,175 --> 00:18:32,475
Why?
What did you hear?
426
00:18:35,745 --> 00:18:37,446
Fitz, what the fuck is going on?
427
00:18:37,514 --> 00:18:39,047
Jesus!
Trust much?
428
00:18:39,115 --> 00:18:40,616
I thought we were friends.
429
00:18:51,427 --> 00:18:54,362
You sent that car
to the motherfucking crusher?
430
00:18:54,430 --> 00:18:55,797
Don't worry, dude -
431
00:18:55,864 --> 00:18:57,164
you'll get your cut
after the Ruptals cash in.
432
00:18:57,232 --> 00:19:00,535
You sent Melody's car to the crusher.
433
00:19:00,602 --> 00:19:02,002
Really, Josh?
434
00:19:02,070 --> 00:19:03,671
Why, what's your problem?
435
00:19:03,739 --> 00:19:04,872
It's not like there was
a woman in the trunk.
436
00:19:04,940 --> 00:19:07,941
There was a woman in the trunk!
437
00:19:08,008 --> 00:19:09,343
Gotta save her!
438
00:19:09,410 --> 00:19:10,644
All right, fine.
439
00:19:10,712 --> 00:19:12,045
Would you--!
440
00:19:17,485 --> 00:19:18,752
Nice try, Fitz.
441
00:19:18,820 --> 00:19:20,587
You barely managed to slow me down!
442
00:19:20,655 --> 00:19:22,389
My article is finished
443
00:19:22,457 --> 00:19:24,690
and so is your political career.
444
00:19:28,195 --> 00:19:29,562
Ho ho ho!
445
00:19:29,629 --> 00:19:31,364
Driving me out of cell range?
446
00:19:31,431 --> 00:19:33,032
Well played!
447
00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:34,868
Ow! Hey!
448
00:19:34,935 --> 00:19:38,004
Okay, know what - now we're
in TV movie territory!
449
00:19:38,072 --> 00:19:41,373
Hostage in Heels -
The Melody Gray Story.
450
00:19:44,710 --> 00:19:46,945
Hello?
451
00:19:47,013 --> 00:19:48,646
Hello!
452
00:19:48,714 --> 00:19:50,048
Okay...
453
00:19:55,220 --> 00:19:57,221
What the hell?
454
00:19:59,491 --> 00:20:01,359
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
455
00:20:01,426 --> 00:20:03,594
Excuse me, sir!
Hold on!
456
00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:05,696
Joey!
Joey!
457
00:20:07,299 --> 00:20:09,500
Joey! Joey!
458
00:20:09,567 --> 00:20:12,335
Joey!
There's a woman in the trunk!
459
00:20:12,403 --> 00:20:13,569
Gotcha.
460
00:20:13,637 --> 00:20:15,171
No!
We need to get her out!
461
00:20:15,239 --> 00:20:16,839
That's double.
462
00:20:16,908 --> 00:20:18,074
Fuck!
Larry!
463
00:20:18,142 --> 00:20:20,110
Okay, we've got...
twenty...
464
00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:22,512
Give me the fucking money!
Jesus!
465
00:20:26,550 --> 00:20:28,951
Joey...!
466
00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:31,153
Joey!For fuck sake, put her down!
467
00:20:42,466 --> 00:20:43,965
Get me out of here!
468
00:20:45,902 --> 00:20:47,903
Oh my God, I could have been killed!
469
00:20:49,605 --> 00:20:51,840
Oh my God, I could have been killed.
470
00:20:51,908 --> 00:20:53,141
But you weren't
471
00:20:53,208 --> 00:20:55,009
and you have Richard
to thank for that.
472
00:20:55,077 --> 00:20:57,178
Oh, you saved my life,
I don't know what to say.
473
00:20:57,279 --> 00:20:58,647
Don't say anything.
474
00:20:58,714 --> 00:21:00,881
And for God's sake,
don't publish anything.
475
00:21:00,949 --> 00:21:02,716
Oops, got a signal!
476
00:21:02,784 --> 00:21:04,151
No!
477
00:21:04,218 --> 00:21:05,619
Fuck!
478
00:21:05,687 --> 00:21:07,187
Hello Pulitzer.
479
00:21:10,058 --> 00:21:11,091
No love.
480
00:21:11,159 --> 00:21:12,460
Can't thank you.
481
00:21:21,101 --> 00:21:24,236
Can't sorry, alone.
482
00:21:24,304 --> 00:21:26,906
What do you want from me?
What do you want?
483
00:21:31,979 --> 00:21:33,879
Understand yet?
484
00:21:36,749 --> 00:21:38,084
No.
485
00:21:38,151 --> 00:21:40,186
I don't understand.
486
00:21:40,253 --> 00:21:43,489
I never fucking did.
487
00:21:43,556 --> 00:21:45,891
All the years we were together.
488
00:21:45,959 --> 00:21:47,593
You never once said a single thing
489
00:21:47,660 --> 00:21:49,227
that made sense to me.
490
00:21:49,295 --> 00:21:51,529
For once in your fucking life,
491
00:21:51,597 --> 00:21:53,831
will you just talk straight to me?
492
00:21:53,899 --> 00:21:57,235
How am I supposed to talk to you,
493
00:21:57,303 --> 00:21:58,936
you dumb mook?
494
00:21:59,005 --> 00:22:00,838
First thing my mom taught me
495
00:22:00,906 --> 00:22:02,273
after how to boost a car -
496
00:22:02,341 --> 00:22:06,076
was never talk to a man
who doesn't respect women.
497
00:22:06,144 --> 00:22:07,879
The fuck are you talking about?
498
00:22:11,349 --> 00:22:13,117
The dealership.
499
00:22:13,184 --> 00:22:14,886
Took some dream you had
500
00:22:14,953 --> 00:22:17,087
in the back room of a bar
501
00:22:17,155 --> 00:22:18,789
and helped you build it.
502
00:22:18,857 --> 00:22:21,257
Brick by brick, car by car,
503
00:22:21,325 --> 00:22:23,359
every fucking day.
504
00:22:23,427 --> 00:22:26,696
And you never thanked me.
505
00:22:26,764 --> 00:22:29,298
Do I really have to fucking say it?
506
00:22:32,904 --> 00:22:36,539
You were the best thing
that ever happened to me.
507
00:22:39,976 --> 00:22:42,177
Oh, Daddy.
508
00:22:44,981 --> 00:22:47,049
I love it when you call me daddy.
509
00:22:48,752 --> 00:22:50,719
I always call you daddy.
510
00:22:50,787 --> 00:22:54,022
I think I've made some
remarkable progress here.
511
00:22:54,089 --> 00:22:56,558
It's time we get those
discharge papers ready.
512
00:22:56,625 --> 00:22:59,060
And now we get to go home together!
513
00:22:59,127 --> 00:23:00,428
Fuck.
514
00:23:00,495 --> 00:23:02,764
Get it off!
Get if off!
515
00:23:02,831 --> 00:23:04,899
Get it off me!
516
00:23:08,336 --> 00:23:10,037
You kidnapped the woman who
was supposed to be saving you?
517
00:23:10,104 --> 00:23:11,337
Don't look at me.
518
00:23:11,405 --> 00:23:14,340
Kidnapping is such a strong word.
519
00:23:14,408 --> 00:23:16,610
Melody's report claims that
you were "with" Edith
520
00:23:16,678 --> 00:23:18,045
when she passed!
521
00:23:18,112 --> 00:23:20,013
And I've been trying to tell them
522
00:23:20,081 --> 00:23:23,917
that this report is a pack of lies.
523
00:23:23,985 --> 00:23:27,019
Do you want to tell them
what really happened, Richard?
524
00:23:27,087 --> 00:23:28,187
Or should I?
525
00:23:28,254 --> 00:23:29,889
This is not Richard's fault.
526
00:23:29,957 --> 00:23:33,125
I, Larry, fully acknowledge my role
527
00:23:33,193 --> 00:23:38,664
in this awful and terrible
and not very good situation.
528
00:23:38,732 --> 00:23:43,935
Murder, kidnapping
sexual addiction-
529
00:23:44,003 --> 00:23:46,337
it's the trifecta of awesome.
530
00:23:48,140 --> 00:23:50,208
If you have any chance of
winning this election,
531
00:23:50,275 --> 00:23:52,911
it's the same way that got
you here in the first place.
532
00:23:52,979 --> 00:23:54,212
Being yourself.
533
00:23:54,279 --> 00:23:55,346
Because the truth is,
534
00:23:55,414 --> 00:23:56,680
you are incapable of anything else.
535
00:23:56,748 --> 00:23:57,815
And so am I.
536
00:23:57,882 --> 00:24:00,651
Tell them the truth about Edith.
537
00:24:06,324 --> 00:24:08,791
You want to know the truth
about Edith Kinkman?
538
00:24:08,859 --> 00:24:11,394
I'll tell you.
539
00:24:11,462 --> 00:24:14,964
I was down on my luck,
and she took me in.
540
00:24:15,032 --> 00:24:17,267
So I went for a dive.
541
00:24:17,335 --> 00:24:20,802
It took a while, but I found treasure.
542
00:24:20,870 --> 00:24:23,305
And so did she.
543
00:24:23,373 --> 00:24:25,941
She was smiling when they found her.
544
00:24:26,009 --> 00:24:27,476
You bet your ass she was.
545
00:24:27,544 --> 00:24:29,178
And you know why?
546
00:24:29,246 --> 00:24:30,879
Because I love women.
547
00:24:30,947 --> 00:24:32,414
All women.
548
00:24:32,482 --> 00:24:37,285
Young, old, thin, fat, tall, short...
549
00:24:37,353 --> 00:24:39,120
I fucked a midget once.
550
00:24:39,188 --> 00:24:40,955
And then you know what I did?
551
00:24:41,023 --> 00:24:42,957
I fucked her again.
552
00:24:43,025 --> 00:24:45,326
'Cuz that's the kind of guy I am.
553
00:24:45,394 --> 00:24:47,362
I give until it hurts.
554
00:24:47,429 --> 00:24:49,063
And, if elected,
555
00:24:49,131 --> 00:24:51,731
I will make sure all
the ladies of Coverton
556
00:24:51,799 --> 00:24:54,934
get their fair share.
557
00:25:06,513 --> 00:25:07,913
Yeah.
558
00:25:07,981 --> 00:25:10,149
Stuff your ballot box
with that, ladies.
559
00:25:10,217 --> 00:25:12,985
Vote for Fitz!
Because - oh...
560
00:25:18,225 --> 00:25:20,826
Know what?
You still kidnapped me.
561
00:25:20,894 --> 00:25:22,827
And I have these Old Bags
to back me up.
562
00:25:22,895 --> 00:25:24,596
It's your word against ours.
563
00:25:24,664 --> 00:25:27,299
And I didn't see a thing.
564
00:25:27,366 --> 00:25:30,034
Neither did the Old Bags.
565
00:25:30,102 --> 00:25:31,336
You know what, Richard?
566
00:25:31,404 --> 00:25:33,738
There you go:
The truth has set you free.
567
00:25:33,806 --> 00:25:36,408
How's that for a fucking platform?
568
00:25:36,475 --> 00:25:37,809
Town gigolo?
569
00:25:37,876 --> 00:25:42,846
I'm gonna give the
people what they deserve.
570
00:25:42,914 --> 00:25:44,315
No apologies.
571
00:25:44,382 --> 00:25:46,049
No excuses.
572
00:25:46,117 --> 00:25:49,386
I'm gonna own up to every scandal,
573
00:25:49,454 --> 00:25:52,389
every bad thing I've ever done.
574
00:25:52,457 --> 00:25:54,990
Because I'm Richard Fitzpatrick.
575
00:25:55,058 --> 00:25:57,327
The last honest man.
576
00:25:59,230 --> 00:26:01,097
Yeah.
577
00:26:01,164 --> 00:26:03,799
Now, I can do whatever
the hell I want.
578
00:26:09,466 --> 00:26:20,045
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
579
00:26:20,095 --> 00:26:24,645
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
40128
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