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1
00:00:01,453 --> 00:00:02,886
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
2
00:00:24,476 --> 00:00:27,378
All right, drink up.
We do not want to be late.
3
00:00:27,445 --> 00:00:28,945
Cory, don't worry.
We'll make it.
4
00:00:29,014 --> 00:00:31,315
Topanga, that's what
you said on Sunday,
5
00:00:31,383 --> 00:00:33,751
and we missed
most of 60 Minutes.
6
00:00:33,819 --> 00:00:36,887
Okay, it's not called
"15 minutes," Topanga.
7
00:00:38,389 --> 00:00:40,023
Where are Jack and Eric?
8
00:00:40,092 --> 00:00:41,392
You know,
we gotta get goin',
9
00:00:41,460 --> 00:00:42,960
'cause the place
is gonna be packed.
10
00:00:43,027 --> 00:00:44,295
I bet you anything
11
00:00:44,362 --> 00:00:47,264
we're waiting because
of Jack and his hair.
12
00:00:47,332 --> 00:00:48,432
Where are you guys going?
13
00:00:48,499 --> 00:00:51,368
The Blue Room.
Oh, I hate that place.
14
00:00:51,503 --> 00:00:54,905
Loud music, tight
clothing, wild dancing.
15
00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:58,342
Yeah, why would we ever
want to go there?
16
00:00:58,410 --> 00:01:00,911
I'm not goin', man.
It's fine!
17
00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:04,181
It's not fine,
it's a disaster.
18
00:01:04,248 --> 00:01:06,383
You don't understand.
It's just...
19
00:01:06,451 --> 00:01:08,652
It's not holding, all right?
It's not holding!
20
00:01:09,388 --> 00:01:10,621
I like dancing.
21
00:01:10,688 --> 00:01:11,755
So why don't you come
with us?
22
00:01:11,856 --> 00:01:13,991
Because we have
other plans tonight,
23
00:01:14,058 --> 00:01:17,895
or did we forget about watching
the Doyle quintuplets on 20/20?
24
00:01:18,930 --> 00:01:20,397
We can tape it.
25
00:01:20,465 --> 00:01:23,300
Of all the nights
to run out of hair gel.
26
00:01:23,335 --> 00:01:26,670
No, no, no, taping it is
just not the same, Topanga.
27
00:01:26,738 --> 00:01:27,938
You know something, Jack?
28
00:01:28,006 --> 00:01:30,774
If I were a woman,
I'd think you were swell.
29
00:01:35,881 --> 00:01:37,081
Really?
30
00:01:39,117 --> 00:01:41,686
Okay, fine. Then we can watch
it and go with them afterwards.
31
00:01:41,787 --> 00:01:43,220
At 11:00 PM?
32
00:01:45,489 --> 00:01:47,157
You guys go
and have fun.
33
00:01:47,225 --> 00:01:49,426
Okay. You wouldn't
really have fun anyway.
34
00:01:49,494 --> 00:01:51,261
It's not your scene.
35
00:01:56,234 --> 00:01:57,501
Not our scene?
36
00:01:57,569 --> 00:02:00,337
What do they mean
by "not our scene"?
37
00:02:00,339 --> 00:02:03,173
Those quintuplets are
as cute as the Dickens.
38
00:02:03,241 --> 00:02:06,043
What, they think just because we're
married, we're not fun anymore?
39
00:02:06,111 --> 00:02:08,379
I'll tell you who's fun,
Ricky.
40
00:02:09,915 --> 00:02:11,348
Who's Ricky?
41
00:02:11,350 --> 00:02:13,450
Oh, he's the one that no
one thought would make it.
42
00:02:13,518 --> 00:02:14,885
You get 'em, Ricky!
43
00:02:16,621 --> 00:02:17,821
What did you
do that for?
44
00:02:17,889 --> 00:02:19,456
We are boring.
45
00:02:19,523 --> 00:02:22,025
According to who, Topanga, the
"in" crowd at the Blue Room?
46
00:02:22,060 --> 00:02:24,328
Our friends didn't even invite
us to go along with them.
47
00:02:24,395 --> 00:02:25,862
Topanga, who cares,
all right?
48
00:02:25,930 --> 00:02:28,599
Now, turn on the humidifier
and come to bed. Let's go.
49
00:02:31,303 --> 00:02:32,603
(HUMIDIFIER BUZZING)
50
00:02:38,977 --> 00:02:41,212
We got everything we need
right here, don't we?
51
00:02:41,279 --> 00:02:42,813
I guess so.
52
00:02:42,881 --> 00:02:44,148
Spoons!
53
00:02:50,555 --> 00:02:52,422
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
54
00:02:52,490 --> 00:02:53,890
(SIGHS)
We're in a rut.
55
00:02:53,958 --> 00:02:56,293
Just because we're married
doesn't mean we have to be old.
56
00:02:56,361 --> 00:02:57,961
Old? Why, because
we choose to stay home
57
00:02:58,029 --> 00:03:01,265
and have a nice, quiet evening while
the others are out gallivanting around
58
00:03:01,333 --> 00:03:02,966
trolling for happiness?
59
00:03:05,103 --> 00:03:07,204
We have become
your parents.
60
00:03:11,042 --> 00:03:14,645
Never, never mention
my parents in bed.
61
00:03:14,712 --> 00:03:15,879
Never!
62
00:03:17,749 --> 00:03:19,883
Cory, we have to do
something drastic.
63
00:03:19,918 --> 00:03:21,318
Okay, okay, fine.
64
00:03:21,386 --> 00:03:23,387
Where are you going?
I am getting dressed,
65
00:03:23,455 --> 00:03:25,889
and we are going
to that blue fish room.
66
00:03:25,957 --> 00:03:28,726
No, no, no. Not like this. Not because
I'm forcing you to go with me.
67
00:03:29,528 --> 00:03:30,761
Okay, fine.
Back to bed.
68
00:03:32,063 --> 00:03:34,465
Cory, I just don't want
to be excluded anymore!
69
00:03:34,533 --> 00:03:36,233
I want to have fun.
70
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:37,634
All right.
Maybe you're right.
71
00:03:37,702 --> 00:03:39,804
Maybe I am becoming
a little set in my ways.
72
00:03:39,871 --> 00:03:41,638
You want to show everyone
we're fun?
73
00:03:41,706 --> 00:03:44,208
That's all I'm saying. Okay,
tomorrow night, you and your old man
74
00:03:44,275 --> 00:03:47,945
are going to go to the hippest, hottest,
ragingest party anyone has ever seen.
75
00:03:48,012 --> 00:03:49,512
Really? Where?
76
00:03:49,581 --> 00:03:50,413
Right here!
77
00:03:50,481 --> 00:03:51,681
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
78
00:03:52,617 --> 00:03:53,984
Now, let's get to sleep.
79
00:03:54,052 --> 00:03:55,619
There's a 6:00 a.m. sale
at the Linen Loft,
80
00:03:55,687 --> 00:03:57,788
and guess
who's got coupons.
81
00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:02,026
(LOUD BANGING)
82
00:04:02,093 --> 00:04:03,360
ERIC: Ow!
83
00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:12,703
Morning, Eric.
84
00:04:12,770 --> 00:04:15,405
Make it better, Jack.
85
00:04:15,473 --> 00:04:17,073
All right, you know what?
For the last time,
86
00:04:17,141 --> 00:04:19,510
kissing the boo-boo
doesn't make it go away.
87
00:04:19,577 --> 00:04:21,344
You'll be fine.
88
00:04:21,412 --> 00:04:22,679
You know what, Jack,
I don't know.
89
00:04:22,747 --> 00:04:26,015
This boo-boo feels different.
It feels special.
90
00:04:26,083 --> 00:04:29,219
I don't know. My nose is all
tickly, and I just feel like...
91
00:04:29,287 --> 00:04:30,954
(SNEEZES)
92
00:04:31,022 --> 00:04:33,924
You're gonna pour milk
into your cereal!
93
00:04:33,992 --> 00:04:36,060
Not that I'm gonna
eat it now.
94
00:04:36,127 --> 00:04:38,295
Jack, this is amazing!
95
00:04:38,363 --> 00:04:41,665
I sneezed, and I saw a vision of
you pouring milk onto your cereal!
96
00:04:42,834 --> 00:04:45,002
No, this is just more
background information
97
00:04:45,070 --> 00:04:47,203
for the nice people
at the asylum.
98
00:04:47,271 --> 00:04:49,073
You know,
they were nice.
99
00:04:51,109 --> 00:04:52,910
Jack, I'm telling you,
100
00:04:52,978 --> 00:04:56,213
smashing my head is what
gave me my special powers!
101
00:04:56,281 --> 00:04:58,648
When I sneeze,
I see the future!
102
00:04:58,716 --> 00:05:00,684
Wait a second,
I feel one coming on.
103
00:05:00,751 --> 00:05:03,687
(SNEEZES) There's a fire
at the Peterman warehouse!
104
00:05:03,754 --> 00:05:04,989
WOMAN ON TV:
This just in!
105
00:05:05,056 --> 00:05:07,558
There's a fireat the Peterman warehouse.
106
00:05:08,860 --> 00:05:12,029
No, no, no,
this can't be happening.
107
00:05:12,096 --> 00:05:15,266
Yes, Jack, we've been
down this road before.
108
00:05:15,333 --> 00:05:17,667
Something amazing happens
to me, you try to resist,
109
00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:20,103
and I pull you down
anyway.
110
00:05:20,105 --> 00:05:23,941
Fine. I'm gonna
die either way.
111
00:05:24,008 --> 00:05:26,676
All right, I believe in your
stupid, little powers, Eric.
112
00:05:26,778 --> 00:05:28,645
All right!
See, that was painless.
113
00:05:28,713 --> 00:05:30,214
Now, the first thing
I believe we have to do
114
00:05:30,281 --> 00:05:32,716
is determine why God
gave me this power. Mmm.
115
00:05:32,783 --> 00:05:34,451
I wonder
why he gave it to me,
116
00:05:34,519 --> 00:05:37,121
and not someone like, say,
oh, I don't know, you?
117
00:05:38,556 --> 00:05:39,823
(SNEEZES)
118
00:05:40,425 --> 00:05:43,160
21, 46, 53!
119
00:05:43,227 --> 00:05:45,462
You snotted on me.
120
00:05:45,530 --> 00:05:49,033
Dude, 21, 46, 53, those are my
Nana Boo Boo's measurements!
121
00:05:49,100 --> 00:05:50,467
She is hot!
122
00:05:53,838 --> 00:05:55,906
WOMAN ON TV: And hurry to
those lotto machines, folks.
123
00:05:55,973 --> 00:06:00,744
Tonight's Pennsylvania lottery
is nearly $4 million.
124
00:06:00,811 --> 00:06:04,681
Oh, no, no, those aren't Nana Boo Boo's
measurements, those are lottery numbers!
125
00:06:04,749 --> 00:06:07,518
No, the lottery's got
six numbers, Jack.
126
00:06:07,585 --> 00:06:10,253
You're right! That's right!
Come on, sneeze me the rest!
127
00:06:10,321 --> 00:06:11,888
I am not a carnival act.
128
00:06:11,956 --> 00:06:14,724
All right, I am a carnival act,
but my sneezing is a gift.
129
00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:16,793
It's a gift that
should not be abused.
130
00:06:16,861 --> 00:06:19,163
Unless, of course, we can
use it to get chicks.
131
00:06:20,498 --> 00:06:21,899
We get those
lottery numbers,
132
00:06:21,966 --> 00:06:23,834
you can buy all the
chicks you want, okay?
133
00:06:23,901 --> 00:06:26,503
So, come on,
sneeze me the rest.
134
00:06:26,571 --> 00:06:29,005
(SNEEZES) The King of
Norway's having a fish!
135
00:06:30,775 --> 00:06:33,109
Come to our party.
Come to our party.
136
00:06:33,911 --> 00:06:35,312
Come to our party.
137
00:06:36,547 --> 00:06:37,748
Come to our party.
138
00:06:38,416 --> 00:06:39,849
Come to our party.
139
00:06:39,917 --> 00:06:41,585
What party?
140
00:06:41,653 --> 00:06:45,055
"Cory and Topanga's we-are-out-of-our-rut-
rip-roaring-party party."
141
00:06:46,357 --> 00:06:47,991
Wow.
142
00:06:48,058 --> 00:06:50,827
"Cake, ice cream, games,
surprises."
143
00:06:50,895 --> 00:06:52,529
Look, Shawn, "surprises."
144
00:06:53,598 --> 00:06:56,066
Hey, Cor,
what's with the party?
145
00:06:56,134 --> 00:06:59,469
What, a couple of people like
us can't throw a hoedown?
146
00:07:02,373 --> 00:07:03,707
Read this.
147
00:07:04,642 --> 00:07:07,277
You are out of your rut.
148
00:07:07,345 --> 00:07:09,713
That sounds good.
Congratulations.
149
00:07:09,781 --> 00:07:11,115
(CHUCKLES) All right!
150
00:07:11,182 --> 00:07:13,516
I want all you kids
to wear your tassels
151
00:07:13,584 --> 00:07:15,819
and your leather
and your get-up and such,
152
00:07:15,887 --> 00:07:18,421
and I will see you all
tonight!
153
00:07:19,991 --> 00:07:23,560
Tonight? Yes, tonight,
Saturday night.
154
00:07:23,628 --> 00:07:25,429
I know I've been out of
the loop for a while,
155
00:07:25,496 --> 00:07:28,264
but isn't that the night
y'all rabble-rouse?
156
00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:31,801
Yes, it is, especially
this Saturday night.
157
00:07:31,869 --> 00:07:35,906
Cory, your party is the same
night as Jerry Dervin's.
158
00:07:35,974 --> 00:07:37,507
So?
159
00:07:37,575 --> 00:07:41,244
Jerry Dervin's party is the
best party of the year.
160
00:07:41,312 --> 00:07:43,881
Oh, really? All right, look.
No big deal.
161
00:07:45,183 --> 00:07:46,583
We'll go to
Cory and Topanga's party,
162
00:07:46,651 --> 00:07:49,219
and then we'll go to Dervin's
party and have some fun.
163
00:07:53,024 --> 00:07:54,958
Excuse me?
164
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,461
Don't worry, Cory, we won't
leave until your party's over.
165
00:07:57,529 --> 00:07:59,396
What, your thing will be
done by 10:00, right?
166
00:07:59,463 --> 00:08:02,765
Look carefully, Shawn.
What does this say?
167
00:08:02,833 --> 00:08:05,135
"No parents allowed."
Nice touch.
168
00:08:05,203 --> 00:08:07,036
Thank you, thank you.
Read on.
169
00:08:07,105 --> 00:08:09,839
8:00 to question mark.
170
00:08:09,908 --> 00:08:11,975
"Question mark," Shawnie.
Do you know what that means?
171
00:08:12,043 --> 00:08:14,978
It means that nobody knows
when this party's gonna end.
172
00:08:15,046 --> 00:08:16,846
Okay? Do you know?
No.
173
00:08:16,848 --> 00:08:17,948
Do I know?
No.
174
00:08:17,950 --> 00:08:20,750
It's totally impossible
to predict!
175
00:08:20,819 --> 00:08:23,553
Cory, don't worry. We're gonna spend
plenty of time at your party.
176
00:08:23,588 --> 00:08:27,190
No, it's fine. You go to Dervin's and
make nice-nice with the cool kids.
177
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:29,292
But you are making
a big mistake, missy,
178
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,895
by doubting the power of
a Cory and Topanga party.
179
00:08:31,963 --> 00:08:35,699
Oh, sure, we won't be in leather,
but that's because I'm allergic
180
00:08:35,767 --> 00:08:38,602
and Topanga is a sweater.
181
00:08:38,670 --> 00:08:40,537
Cory, calm down.
We're comin' to your party.
182
00:08:40,605 --> 00:08:42,072
Don't do me
any favors, okay?
183
00:08:42,140 --> 00:08:44,141
The whole campus has
these fliers, Shawnie,
184
00:08:44,209 --> 00:08:48,611
so there might not even be room for
you or this thing on your face.
185
00:08:48,747 --> 00:08:50,413
Come on,
you don't mean that.
186
00:08:50,481 --> 00:08:53,016
Don't come to our party.
187
00:08:53,018 --> 00:08:54,417
Don't come to our party.
188
00:08:54,485 --> 00:08:55,986
Don't come to our party.
189
00:08:56,053 --> 00:08:57,487
Don't come to our party.
190
00:08:57,554 --> 00:08:59,155
Don't come to our party.
191
00:08:59,224 --> 00:09:00,890
But we'll compare notes
on Monday
192
00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:03,493
about who went
to the better party.
193
00:09:04,495 --> 00:09:07,164
And I take notes
like a secretary.
194
00:09:17,942 --> 00:09:20,177
I still don't see why I have
to wear this stupid thing.
195
00:09:20,244 --> 00:09:22,545
Because you have
a propensity for...
196
00:09:24,949 --> 00:09:26,416
Head trauma.
197
00:09:30,154 --> 00:09:31,922
You don't care at all
about my head.
198
00:09:31,990 --> 00:09:33,590
You just care about your
stupid lottery numbers!
199
00:09:33,658 --> 00:09:35,792
I mean, sure,
the helmet looks good,
200
00:09:35,860 --> 00:09:38,128
but this wasn't a gift given out of
love, this was given out of greed.
201
00:09:38,196 --> 00:09:40,964
You know something, Jack? You
take all the fun out of sneezing.
202
00:09:41,031 --> 00:09:42,466
Okay, you know what?
203
00:09:43,267 --> 00:09:44,534
Sneeze, you baby!
204
00:09:44,602 --> 00:09:47,604
No, come on! No more pepper!
My nostrils hurt!
205
00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:48,705
Sneeze!
No!
206
00:09:48,773 --> 00:09:50,140
Jackass!
No!
207
00:09:51,542 --> 00:09:52,676
Come on, man.
208
00:09:52,743 --> 00:09:56,846
Look, I got 21, 46, 53,
and then I got nothin'.
209
00:09:56,914 --> 00:09:58,948
I got nothin' here.
I need you to help me out.
210
00:09:59,016 --> 00:10:01,251
All right? Come on. It's now or never.
Let's go.
211
00:10:02,119 --> 00:10:03,219
(SNEEZES)
212
00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:05,254
Oh, my gosh.
213
00:10:05,322 --> 00:10:06,690
The numbers?
214
00:10:06,692 --> 00:10:09,159
No, someone's in trouble, Jack.
That's what I just sneezed.
215
00:10:09,226 --> 00:10:10,493
We've got to
get out of here.
216
00:10:11,328 --> 00:10:12,695
That's ridiculous.
217
00:10:13,397 --> 00:10:14,831
Who's in trouble?
218
00:10:14,899 --> 00:10:17,500
I don't know.
219
00:10:17,568 --> 00:10:19,336
But I do know
that he needs my help.
220
00:10:19,403 --> 00:10:21,771
God gave me these powers
to help people,
221
00:10:21,839 --> 00:10:25,075
not to give
stupid lottery numbers.
222
00:10:25,142 --> 00:10:27,110
I'm people! I'm people! Help me!
223
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:32,382
(SNEEZES) He's cheating on you.
(GASPS)
224
00:10:32,450 --> 00:10:35,151
(SNEEZES) And he's
gonna rob this place.
225
00:10:35,220 --> 00:10:36,987
You know what?
You're just a bad guy!
226
00:10:42,093 --> 00:10:44,560
Topanga, could you come
in here for a moment?
227
00:10:44,996 --> 00:10:46,429
Oh, my!
228
00:10:46,497 --> 00:10:48,665
Honey, don't you think this
might be a little bit much?
229
00:10:48,733 --> 00:10:52,068
No, I think people appreciate
it when you go the extra mile.
230
00:10:52,136 --> 00:10:53,336
(OVEN DINGS)
231
00:10:53,404 --> 00:10:56,006
Oh, my quiches are done.
232
00:10:56,073 --> 00:10:58,842
You know, I thought people might
be a little tired of 20 questions,
233
00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:00,811
so I got a few other games.
234
00:11:00,878 --> 00:11:03,179
Oh, Cory, I think people might
be tired of... Oh! Clue!
235
00:11:03,248 --> 00:11:04,514
I haven't played that game
in years!
236
00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:05,582
Exactly.
237
00:11:05,649 --> 00:11:07,617
That guy Dervin
may have flash,
238
00:11:07,685 --> 00:11:09,219
but we've got substance.
239
00:11:09,287 --> 00:11:12,555
This party is gonna be quite satisfying.
Taste this.
240
00:11:13,924 --> 00:11:16,292
Mmm! Quiche-alicious!
241
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,361
Cory, you have to save some
for our guests.
242
00:11:18,429 --> 00:11:19,929
They're gonna be here
in two minutes.
243
00:11:19,997 --> 00:11:21,731
It's 7:58 already?
244
00:11:21,798 --> 00:11:23,633
I haven't even picked
the music yet!
245
00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:25,101
What should we start with?
246
00:11:25,169 --> 00:11:27,504
I don't know. Put on
something we can dance to.
247
00:11:27,506 --> 00:11:30,306
That's exactly
what I was thinking.
248
00:11:30,374 --> 00:11:32,208
(TRIBAL MUSIC PLAYING)
249
00:11:40,751 --> 00:11:43,786
Angela, if you tell me one more
time that we left Dervin's party
250
00:11:43,854 --> 00:11:46,022
right as you were about to
get your groove on, I'll...
251
00:11:46,090 --> 00:11:47,857
You'll what?
Nothing, dear.
252
00:11:49,159 --> 00:11:51,227
I was getting on my groove,
too, you know.
253
00:11:54,098 --> 00:11:57,033
What? It would've
happened eventually.
254
00:11:57,101 --> 00:12:00,269
Look, it's only 10:00. We'll
be back at Dervin's by 11:00.
255
00:12:00,337 --> 00:12:02,572
Cory does not
want us here, anyway.
256
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:03,973
That's what he said.
257
00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:07,376
What he meant was, "If you don't,
I'll nag you till you bleed."
258
00:12:07,444 --> 00:12:08,644
(SIGHS)
259
00:12:14,051 --> 00:12:14,951
Damn!
260
00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:17,654
(TRIBAL MUSIC PLAYING)
261
00:12:28,532 --> 00:12:30,566
Nobody came?
262
00:12:30,634 --> 00:12:31,901
I feel so bad.
263
00:12:31,969 --> 00:12:33,236
They look devastated.
264
00:12:33,304 --> 00:12:35,605
You know,
we should do something.
265
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:37,407
Where are you going?
266
00:12:37,475 --> 00:12:39,376
Back to Dervin's party.
267
00:12:44,315 --> 00:12:45,581
Cory?
268
00:12:45,649 --> 00:12:46,916
Yeah, honey?
269
00:12:47,751 --> 00:12:49,752
Nobody came to our party.
270
00:12:50,354 --> 00:12:51,554
I know.
271
00:12:52,123 --> 00:12:53,623
I almost left.
272
00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:57,627
That's it. We are a
boring married couple
273
00:12:57,695 --> 00:12:58,895
who doesn't know
how to have fun.
274
00:12:58,963 --> 00:13:00,396
No, we're not
a boring couple.
275
00:13:00,465 --> 00:13:03,299
We're a young, vibrant,
healthy, exciting couple
276
00:13:03,367 --> 00:13:05,869
who've been saddled
with superficial friends,
277
00:13:05,937 --> 00:13:08,705
who wouldn't know a good party
if it fell on their heads!
278
00:13:10,107 --> 00:13:11,507
Maybe.
279
00:13:15,779 --> 00:13:19,048
You know, maybe it's a good
thing that no one showed up.
280
00:13:19,116 --> 00:13:20,683
You know what I'm saying?
281
00:13:20,751 --> 00:13:23,486
I mean, those quiches
weren't your best.
282
00:13:26,357 --> 00:13:28,091
What?
283
00:13:28,159 --> 00:13:29,692
(STAMMERING) No. Don't get me wrong.
They were great.
284
00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:33,263
I'm just saying, you know,
you've made better.
285
00:13:33,331 --> 00:13:35,732
It's a compliment, really.
286
00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:38,067
Really?
287
00:13:38,135 --> 00:13:40,603
Well, do you want
a compliment from me?
288
00:13:41,972 --> 00:13:43,005
Bite me.
289
00:13:44,709 --> 00:13:46,542
Excuse me?
290
00:13:46,610 --> 00:13:48,378
Well, maybe nobody came to
the party to eat my quiches
291
00:13:48,446 --> 00:13:51,481
because they read your
great jokes on the fliers.
292
00:13:51,549 --> 00:13:54,117
"Come join our party,
it'll be party-rific!"
293
00:13:54,184 --> 00:13:56,085
"Buckle up for the ride
to funville!"
294
00:13:56,153 --> 00:13:57,520
What is that?
295
00:13:57,621 --> 00:13:59,655
Uh, it's called wit.
296
00:13:59,723 --> 00:14:02,192
And it wasn't the jokes
that kept people away...
297
00:14:02,260 --> 00:14:04,594
Was it the signs
on the doors?
298
00:14:04,661 --> 00:14:05,895
No.
299
00:14:05,963 --> 00:14:07,798
Because I guess
not as many people
300
00:14:07,865 --> 00:14:10,267
were "authorized for fun"
as you thought.
301
00:14:10,334 --> 00:14:12,502
Well, what about
your dumb dance music?
302
00:14:12,570 --> 00:14:14,370
I mean,
that really packed 'em in!
303
00:14:14,438 --> 00:14:16,105
Oh, my dumb music?
304
00:14:16,173 --> 00:14:18,341
Are you sure
you don't mean "dumb-tastic"?
305
00:14:18,409 --> 00:14:19,943
Or "super-duper-dumb-dumb"?
306
00:14:21,279 --> 00:14:22,779
You know what, Topanga?
307
00:14:22,846 --> 00:14:24,381
You were the one that
started this whole thing.
308
00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:26,416
(MIMICKING) "I want to
be hip, we're in a rut."
309
00:14:26,484 --> 00:14:29,352
I was perfectly happy staying
home on a Saturday night
310
00:14:29,420 --> 00:14:30,553
and doing nothing.
311
00:14:30,621 --> 00:14:32,922
Well, I'm not.
I want to go out, Cory.
312
00:14:32,990 --> 00:14:34,991
I want to have fun!
I want to be wild!
313
00:14:35,059 --> 00:14:36,526
Wild? Ha!
314
00:14:36,594 --> 00:14:39,796
You wouldn't last 10 minutes
in those nightclubs!
315
00:14:39,798 --> 00:14:41,297
Cram it, old man.
316
00:14:44,768 --> 00:14:46,602
That is it!
317
00:14:47,738 --> 00:14:49,405
(SQUEALS)
318
00:14:49,473 --> 00:14:51,607
Oh, my...
(LAUGHING)
319
00:14:54,645 --> 00:14:55,711
(SCREAMING)
320
00:14:55,779 --> 00:14:57,547
Topanga, you're goin' down!
321
00:14:57,615 --> 00:14:59,149
You want more,
Mr. Rogers?
322
00:14:59,216 --> 00:15:01,751
Oh, a shot at my sweater?
Very funny!
323
00:15:01,886 --> 00:15:03,819
What about your wild
little get-up, huh?
324
00:15:03,887 --> 00:15:05,455
When's the PTA meeting?
325
00:15:05,522 --> 00:15:07,590
Mr. Rogers!
326
00:15:07,658 --> 00:15:09,125
Soccer mom!
(SCREAMING)
327
00:15:09,193 --> 00:15:11,027
Cory, this was
a nice blouse!
328
00:15:11,095 --> 00:15:13,262
Yeah? And now it's a ripped one!
329
00:15:15,833 --> 00:15:18,101
It's off your shoulder
a little bit there.
330
00:15:19,036 --> 00:15:20,270
Yeah.
331
00:15:20,338 --> 00:15:22,272
I could say the same thing
about yours.
332
00:15:22,373 --> 00:15:23,873
(BOTH PANTING)
333
00:15:29,180 --> 00:15:31,081
We're in the middle
of nowhere, Eric.
334
00:15:31,148 --> 00:15:32,915
Something bad's gonna happen here, Jack.
I feel it.
335
00:15:32,983 --> 00:15:35,317
Wait a minute, something
bad is happening.
336
00:15:35,385 --> 00:15:38,988
You're costing me $4 million.
$4 million!
337
00:15:39,056 --> 00:15:41,391
Give me my numbers!
Hey, hey, hey!
338
00:15:41,459 --> 00:15:44,027
Obviously, Jack, you've never
had superpowers, okay?
339
00:15:44,094 --> 00:15:45,929
So you don't know
what's goin' on.
340
00:15:45,996 --> 00:15:48,465
Look, Jack,
don't you get it?
341
00:15:48,532 --> 00:15:51,134
There is no way that money
could be nearly as satisfying
342
00:15:51,202 --> 00:15:53,035
as what we were
brought here to do!
343
00:15:53,103 --> 00:15:55,438
Look around you, Eric!
There's no one here to save!
344
00:15:58,843 --> 00:16:01,011
(GRUNTS)
Now gimme my numbers!
345
00:16:01,078 --> 00:16:03,413
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ow! Ow! Ow!
346
00:16:03,481 --> 00:16:04,580
(SNEEZES)
347
00:16:04,648 --> 00:16:06,282
12! 22! 42!
348
00:16:06,350 --> 00:16:07,617
(SOBBING)
349
00:16:12,089 --> 00:16:13,356
What was that?
350
00:16:13,424 --> 00:16:15,758
(CRYING)
I said, "12, 22, 42."
351
00:16:15,826 --> 00:16:19,262
The numbers! Yes, all right.
Thank you, buddy.
352
00:16:19,330 --> 00:16:21,063
Yeah, that's right!
You know what?
353
00:16:21,131 --> 00:16:22,798
You take your numbers,
and you remember
354
00:16:22,866 --> 00:16:25,235
as you're sitting there with
your $4 million that to get it,
355
00:16:25,302 --> 00:16:28,138
you had to bash your best
friend's head against a dumpster.
356
00:16:31,274 --> 00:16:32,675
You had a helmet on.
357
00:16:34,978 --> 00:16:36,913
It was you!
358
00:16:36,980 --> 00:16:39,148
What was me? What are
you talking about?
359
00:16:39,216 --> 00:16:40,850
It was you all along!
360
00:16:43,887 --> 00:16:45,588
He's reachin' out
to you, Jack.
361
00:16:46,724 --> 00:16:48,224
He's tryin' to save you.
362
00:16:48,292 --> 00:16:51,160
(CHUCKLES) Save me?
363
00:16:51,228 --> 00:16:54,363
That's right.
Save you from your greed.
364
00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:56,266
My vision was about you.
365
00:16:58,669 --> 00:17:00,036
He's right.
366
00:17:01,371 --> 00:17:03,572
You're the one in danger.
367
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:07,677
Yeah. Yeah, Jack, I mean, look
what this lottery has done to you,
368
00:17:07,745 --> 00:17:09,979
and you haven't even
won it yet.
369
00:17:15,886 --> 00:17:18,254
(EXHALES)
You're right.
370
00:17:18,256 --> 00:17:21,190
You know,
I let greed take me over.
371
00:17:21,258 --> 00:17:22,492
(SIGHS)
372
00:17:22,559 --> 00:17:24,294
I didn't care
what happened to you,
373
00:17:24,361 --> 00:17:26,529
what happened
to our friendship.
374
00:17:27,431 --> 00:17:28,831
You know,
it's unbelievable,
375
00:17:28,899 --> 00:17:30,633
the things that people
will do for money.
376
00:17:33,504 --> 00:17:35,338
Oh, well.
Off to buy me a ticket.
377
00:17:41,912 --> 00:17:43,412
Hey, we tried.
378
00:17:45,883 --> 00:17:47,783
This party better
be good, Hunter.
379
00:17:47,852 --> 00:17:49,452
Dervin's party was awesome.
380
00:17:49,519 --> 00:17:51,187
Shut up, Dervin.
381
00:17:52,923 --> 00:17:55,558
All right, I'm gonna
go over this one more time.
382
00:17:55,625 --> 00:17:57,860
On the other side
of this door, it's ugly.
383
00:17:57,928 --> 00:18:02,665
These people are wonderful, but
they're incredibly square.
384
00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:04,767
And, remember, nobody
gets their 20 bucks
385
00:18:04,835 --> 00:18:07,470
unless they stay
the full hour.
386
00:18:07,538 --> 00:18:09,506
This was a really
sweet thing to do, Shawn.
387
00:18:09,573 --> 00:18:11,240
I just hope
we're not too late.
388
00:18:18,249 --> 00:18:20,216
This is the best party
I've ever been to.
389
00:18:21,084 --> 00:18:22,418
Topanga, I was wrong.
390
00:18:23,154 --> 00:18:25,221
I love your quiche.
391
00:18:25,289 --> 00:18:26,589
(LAUGHS)
392
00:18:26,657 --> 00:18:29,559
I love every boring bone
in your body.
393
00:18:29,627 --> 00:18:31,861
Really? Let's never
go anywhere again.
394
00:18:37,167 --> 00:18:39,202
You think they do that
every night?
395
00:18:39,270 --> 00:18:42,271
Well, gosh, that's probably
why they go home at 9:00.
396
00:18:42,339 --> 00:18:44,306
Whoa, hey!
Okay, party's over.
397
00:18:44,375 --> 00:18:46,409
There's no way we're
gonna save this one.
398
00:18:46,477 --> 00:18:48,411
I'm goin' back
to Dervin's.
399
00:18:48,479 --> 00:18:50,012
You are Dervin.
400
00:18:53,784 --> 00:18:58,054
I cannot believe that we felt
sorry for Cory and Topanga.
401
00:18:58,121 --> 00:19:01,624
I know. I mean,
I feel sorry for us.
402
00:19:01,691 --> 00:19:03,459
I wonder what their
food bill is a month.
403
00:19:04,962 --> 00:19:07,530
I don't know. You know, let's
just go back to Dervin's.
404
00:19:08,298 --> 00:19:09,933
Yeah.
405
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,336
You know what? Forget Dervin's.
Let's just go to a grocery store.
406
00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:21,911
Eric, quick, come out here! No!
407
00:19:23,881 --> 00:19:26,382
Come on.
I said I'm sorry.
408
00:19:26,450 --> 00:19:29,351
You're not sorry,
you're evil!
409
00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:31,754
Well, just sit down and
watch me get filthy rich.
410
00:19:31,822 --> 00:19:34,357
They're about to announce
the winning lottery numbers.
411
00:19:34,425 --> 00:19:35,392
That's blood money!
412
00:19:35,459 --> 00:19:38,227
I'll give you half.
Oh. Turn it up.
413
00:19:38,295 --> 00:19:40,763
WOMAN ON TV: And here are tonight's
winning lotto numbers...
414
00:19:40,831 --> 00:19:42,898
I'm gonna buy myself
a new helmet.
415
00:19:42,966 --> 00:19:48,104
...32, 6, 27, 18, 9, 2.
416
00:19:48,172 --> 00:19:49,572
We're rich!
417
00:19:52,176 --> 00:19:53,943
No, we're not.
418
00:19:53,945 --> 00:19:55,511
Those aren't the numbers
you gave me!
419
00:19:55,579 --> 00:19:58,148
This is worthless,
and you're worthless! Here!
420
00:19:58,215 --> 00:20:01,317
No, Jack, no! Eat it! Eat
it, you psychic snot liar!
421
00:20:01,385 --> 00:20:02,818
WOMAN ON TV: So much for
the New York Lottery.
422
00:20:02,887 --> 00:20:06,256
Now for the $4 millionPennsylvania lottery.
423
00:20:06,323 --> 00:20:08,491
Oh, my God.
424
00:20:08,558 --> 00:20:09,926
The winning numbers are,
425
00:20:09,994 --> 00:20:16,465
21, 46, 53, 12, 22, 42.
426
00:20:16,533 --> 00:20:17,934
And in other news...
427
00:20:18,002 --> 00:20:19,535
Well, that's a coincidence.
428
00:20:31,482 --> 00:20:32,515
(SNEEZES)
429
00:20:32,583 --> 00:20:34,551
Oh, what you're
gonna do to me!
430
00:20:40,324 --> 00:20:41,857
Cory, come quick!
431
00:20:41,925 --> 00:20:44,661
John Stossel is doing
an expose on tainted meat!
432
00:20:52,269 --> 00:20:56,506
Now, I ask you, would you rather be
spending the night at some glitzy club,
433
00:20:56,573 --> 00:20:59,008
or learning how to spot
a bad brisket?
434
00:20:59,076 --> 00:21:01,143
You're right, brisket.
435
00:21:01,278 --> 00:21:04,480
I mean, it's not like I don't enjoy
dancing or going out and having fun.
436
00:21:04,548 --> 00:21:07,450
It's just that the best time I
have is when I'm here with you.
437
00:21:10,788 --> 00:21:13,990
Oh, look,
bad flank steak.
438
00:21:18,528 --> 00:21:19,829
I love you.
439
00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:24,429
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