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1
00:00:01,183 --> 00:00:02,617
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
2
00:00:31,513 --> 00:00:33,581
Hey! How come you guys
aren't goin' at it?
3
00:00:33,649 --> 00:00:35,950
Shawnie, you don't
understand what I got here.
4
00:00:36,018 --> 00:00:38,019
I mean, once you
start up this engine,
5
00:00:38,086 --> 00:00:39,954
it's nonstop
to Puerto Rico.
6
00:00:41,123 --> 00:00:42,623
Well, isn't he romantic?
7
00:00:42,691 --> 00:00:44,425
I don't even know
what he's talking about.
8
00:00:44,493 --> 00:00:47,261
That's right.
Papa don't make sense.
9
00:00:48,397 --> 00:00:49,497
(SIGHS)
10
00:00:50,499 --> 00:00:52,099
I hate this job!
11
00:00:52,167 --> 00:00:53,968
"Rachel, the shower drain's
clogged!"
12
00:00:54,036 --> 00:00:56,170
"Rachel, somebody puked in the hall!
Go clean it up."
13
00:00:56,238 --> 00:00:58,506
"Rachel, the candy machine's
out of corn nuts!"
14
00:00:58,573 --> 00:01:01,476
It is? Well, fix it!
15
00:01:01,543 --> 00:01:04,412
I am a resident adviser, I'm
not a vending-machine stuffer!
16
00:01:04,479 --> 00:01:08,048
I took this job for the one stinking perk
they give you. Do you know what that is?
17
00:01:08,116 --> 00:01:09,950
Great roommate?
A parking spot!
18
00:01:10,018 --> 00:01:11,586
That's what I get.
19
00:01:11,653 --> 00:01:14,321
A place to park my little
Beetle near my room.
20
00:01:14,389 --> 00:01:17,024
I've never seen our
favorite redhead so fiery.
21
00:01:17,092 --> 00:01:18,092
I like it!
22
00:01:19,061 --> 00:01:20,461
I had to walk
a mile and a half
23
00:01:20,529 --> 00:01:23,531
because of some stupid,
selfish, spot-grubbing moron!
24
00:01:23,599 --> 00:01:25,699
Maybe the moron
didn't know it was yours.
25
00:01:27,402 --> 00:01:28,569
You!
26
00:01:29,804 --> 00:01:31,806
You parked in my spot?
27
00:01:31,873 --> 00:01:33,174
Don't have a hissy fit.
28
00:01:34,810 --> 00:01:36,311
If you don't move your car
right now,
29
00:01:36,313 --> 00:01:39,280
I will use my power as RA
to see that you do so!
30
00:01:39,348 --> 00:01:41,782
Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho-ho!
31
00:01:41,850 --> 00:01:45,653
What are you gonna do,
ban me from the soda machine?
32
00:01:45,721 --> 00:01:47,855
Revoke my
corn nut privileges?
33
00:01:47,923 --> 00:01:49,991
Oh! She can't do that!
34
00:01:50,058 --> 00:01:51,593
Because there aren't any!
35
00:01:51,660 --> 00:01:53,962
(BOTH LAUGHING)
36
00:01:54,029 --> 00:01:55,963
Okay! That's it! You're
breaking rules right now
37
00:01:56,031 --> 00:01:57,464
because you're
in the dorms after hours!
38
00:01:57,532 --> 00:02:00,168
I'm banning you from the dorm.
Get out!
39
00:02:00,236 --> 00:02:01,935
(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)
40
00:02:03,639 --> 00:02:05,739
Can she do that?
I just did!
41
00:02:06,241 --> 00:02:07,841
Goodbye.
42
00:02:07,909 --> 00:02:10,077
I am shocked
and dismayed.
43
00:02:10,145 --> 00:02:11,245
Well, now,
you can't be both.
44
00:02:11,313 --> 00:02:12,947
You be shocked,
I'll be dismayed.
45
00:02:14,182 --> 00:02:17,218
Wifey, we're leaving!
Walk behind me!
46
00:02:17,285 --> 00:02:18,686
I'm staying!
47
00:02:21,090 --> 00:02:22,790
You hear that, shocked?
48
00:02:22,857 --> 00:02:24,358
She's stayin'.
49
00:02:29,098 --> 00:02:31,065
You are gonna be sorry,
homewrecker.
50
00:02:33,635 --> 00:02:34,902
Oh, yeah.
51
00:02:40,075 --> 00:02:42,109
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh, what?
52
00:02:42,177 --> 00:02:44,946
Trust me. Rachel, I've known Cory
and Shawn longer than you have.
53
00:02:45,013 --> 00:02:46,781
You do not want
to make them upset.
54
00:02:46,849 --> 00:02:48,149
Oh, I'm not scared of them.
55
00:02:48,216 --> 00:02:50,318
Well, maybe you should be.
They're maniacs.
56
00:02:52,754 --> 00:02:54,488
(CAR ALARM BLARING)
57
00:02:54,556 --> 00:02:56,257
(CAR HORN HONKING)
58
00:03:01,096 --> 00:03:02,830
ANGELA: Uh, Rachel!
59
00:03:08,637 --> 00:03:10,805
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Step away from the car.
60
00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:13,808
(SCREAMING)
61
00:03:14,877 --> 00:03:16,077
(ECHOING)
62
00:03:18,380 --> 00:03:19,747
(CHUCKLING)
63
00:03:22,784 --> 00:03:23,951
There they are!
64
00:03:24,019 --> 00:03:26,154
Hey, hey, hey!
Mr. Feeny!
65
00:03:26,221 --> 00:03:27,555
Angela!
66
00:03:27,623 --> 00:03:29,991
Resident Adviser McGuire.
67
00:03:30,058 --> 00:03:31,960
Good morning, Angela.
My Angela.
68
00:03:32,027 --> 00:03:33,294
Shut it!
69
00:03:33,362 --> 00:03:34,428
Are you mad at me?
70
00:03:34,496 --> 00:03:35,930
I nearly broke my toe
71
00:03:35,998 --> 00:03:38,866
trying to get over a car
on the way to the closet!
72
00:03:38,967 --> 00:03:40,067
A car?
73
00:03:40,135 --> 00:03:41,869
BOTH: In your room?
74
00:03:43,071 --> 00:03:45,173
Isn't that a violation
of dorm rules?
75
00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:46,774
We should report her
to the authorities.
76
00:03:46,842 --> 00:03:49,210
But she is
the authorities.
77
00:03:49,278 --> 00:03:51,345
BOTH: There's a car
in your room, lady!
78
00:03:53,548 --> 00:03:55,883
Oh, you both think you're
so clever, don't you?
79
00:03:55,918 --> 00:03:57,117
BOTH: Yeah, pretty much.
80
00:03:57,185 --> 00:03:59,720
But you're clever.
But you're clever.
81
00:03:59,788 --> 00:04:00,788
Get 'em, Feeny!
82
00:04:02,191 --> 00:04:04,826
Gentlemen, this kind of
behavior is juvenile
83
00:04:04,893 --> 00:04:08,462
and unbefitting
of college sophomores.
84
00:04:08,530 --> 00:04:10,164
Did you really put
a car in her room?
85
00:04:10,832 --> 00:04:11,999
That's great!
86
00:04:15,069 --> 00:04:18,672
However, these kinds of
antics will not be tolerated.
87
00:04:19,974 --> 00:04:22,443
How did you do it?
(CHUCKLES)
88
00:04:22,511 --> 00:04:25,046
Feeny, Feeny, looky, looky!
Looky, looky!
89
00:04:25,113 --> 00:04:26,347
Mr. Feeny!
90
00:04:26,414 --> 00:04:27,581
I'm sorry, Miss McGuire,
91
00:04:27,650 --> 00:04:29,183
but there are no rules
on the books
92
00:04:29,251 --> 00:04:30,952
about putting cars
in rooms.
93
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:33,521
Was there loud music
emanating from the car?
94
00:04:34,123 --> 00:04:35,256
No.
95
00:04:35,324 --> 00:04:36,824
Then you got nothin'.
96
00:04:36,892 --> 00:04:38,893
They set off my alarm
to wake me up!
97
00:04:40,695 --> 00:04:42,630
Well, now, that's
just plain brilliant!
98
00:04:42,697 --> 00:04:44,965
(ALL LAUGH)
99
00:04:45,033 --> 00:04:47,134
You're not going to
teach them a lesson?
100
00:04:47,202 --> 00:04:50,304
No. And you
can't make me.
101
00:04:50,372 --> 00:04:53,207
Okay. For the past two years, I've
had to endure all these stories
102
00:04:53,274 --> 00:04:55,810
about the great Mr. Feeny
and his amazing lessons,
103
00:04:55,878 --> 00:04:57,879
and now, they put
a Volkswagen in my room,
104
00:04:57,946 --> 00:05:00,147
and you have not
one lousy lesson?
105
00:05:00,215 --> 00:05:01,382
All right,
here's a lesson.
106
00:05:01,450 --> 00:05:03,417
Relax. Take a nice drive
107
00:05:04,286 --> 00:05:05,586
into your closet!
108
00:05:05,687 --> 00:05:07,788
(ALL LAUGHING)
Feeny!
109
00:05:07,856 --> 00:05:09,991
That's my boy!
Let me have it!
110
00:05:10,058 --> 00:05:12,193
You all disgust me!
111
00:05:12,260 --> 00:05:15,663
Oh, can it, McGuire,
they got you. Ha-ha!
112
00:05:16,264 --> 00:05:17,498
That's great.
113
00:05:17,966 --> 00:05:19,133
(SIGHS)
114
00:05:19,201 --> 00:05:22,736
Well, I hope you know
this means war.
115
00:05:22,804 --> 00:05:24,105
War?
With us?
116
00:05:24,173 --> 00:05:26,941
Trust me, babe, you
don't want to go there.
117
00:05:27,008 --> 00:05:30,244
Cory and Shawn are undefeated
in matters such as these.
118
00:05:30,312 --> 00:05:32,646
Did you see how I referred to myself
in the third person for emphasis?
119
00:05:32,714 --> 00:05:34,582
I thought that was a nice touch.
Cory did, too.
120
00:05:34,649 --> 00:05:36,417
Don't be so sure
of yourselves.
121
00:05:36,485 --> 00:05:39,620
You've never tangled
with Rachel McGuire before.
122
00:05:39,687 --> 00:05:41,355
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
123
00:05:46,695 --> 00:05:47,662
Okay.
124
00:05:47,729 --> 00:05:49,563
(MIMICKING) Okay.
125
00:05:49,631 --> 00:05:51,632
Let's just consider this a little
preview of things to come.
126
00:05:51,700 --> 00:05:53,601
Okay. Come... Oh.
127
00:05:55,003 --> 00:05:56,637
All right!
128
00:05:56,705 --> 00:05:58,039
All right!
129
00:06:00,342 --> 00:06:03,177
You know what, Shawn? I...
I think I'm melting.
130
00:06:05,713 --> 00:06:08,482
Oh, honey, please, please. Do
something at least a little clever.
131
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:25,499
Your loss.
132
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,368
Guys, what is
going on here?
133
00:06:28,437 --> 00:06:30,238
They parked my car
in our room.
134
00:06:30,305 --> 00:06:31,405
Nice one!
135
00:06:31,473 --> 00:06:32,573
Yeah!
Yeah!
136
00:06:34,242 --> 00:06:36,009
We dedicate it to you.
Aw.
137
00:06:36,078 --> 00:06:37,478
BOTH: Topanga!
138
00:06:37,546 --> 00:06:38,812
I warned you.
139
00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:42,149
Topanga, join our side and
teach these guys a lesson!
140
00:06:42,217 --> 00:06:43,984
Sorry, guys,
I have to go with them.
141
00:06:44,052 --> 00:06:45,486
Good move.
Go with the experience.
142
00:06:45,554 --> 00:06:47,388
They need me more.
They're just not as smart.
143
00:06:47,455 --> 00:06:48,556
BOTH: Yeah.
144
00:06:48,623 --> 00:06:50,157
Hey!
145
00:06:50,225 --> 00:06:52,926
(CHUCKLES) Just kidding. I would never
want to bet against you and Shawn.
146
00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:55,129
Wait a minute. This isn't fair.
Two against three.
147
00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:56,864
We need more troops!
You're right.
148
00:06:56,932 --> 00:06:59,366
We need someone
highly intelligent.
149
00:06:59,434 --> 00:07:00,968
Cagey with a crafty mind.
150
00:07:01,503 --> 00:07:02,903
(GRUNTING)
151
00:07:05,674 --> 00:07:08,542
You know what, Jack, I'm having
trouble opening this jar.
152
00:07:09,811 --> 00:07:11,345
That's because
it's a can.
153
00:07:13,615 --> 00:07:15,349
We choose you!
154
00:07:15,416 --> 00:07:16,884
No, choose me!
155
00:07:16,952 --> 00:07:19,153
You have to be on our side.
We're outnumbered.
156
00:07:19,221 --> 00:07:20,721
I'll be on your side!
157
00:07:20,788 --> 00:07:22,790
Jack, you're my brother.
158
00:07:22,858 --> 00:07:24,992
Brothers can't be on
opposite sides of a war.
159
00:07:25,060 --> 00:07:26,727
Sorry, ladies,
160
00:07:26,794 --> 00:07:30,030
but that's the way it is, and there's
nothing you can do to change that.
161
00:07:30,098 --> 00:07:32,366
It could be really fun
to be on the same side.
162
00:07:32,434 --> 00:07:33,667
I'm fun.
163
00:07:35,670 --> 00:07:36,837
(STUTTERING) You think?
164
00:07:36,905 --> 00:07:39,073
Jack, you know how good
Cory and Shawn are at this.
165
00:07:39,141 --> 00:07:41,041
You don't want to
go against them.
166
00:07:41,109 --> 00:07:43,310
You know, Jack,
we were close once.
167
00:07:43,378 --> 00:07:46,914
Who knows what can happen when two people
are caught up in the heat of battle.
168
00:07:46,981 --> 00:07:48,415
Hold on!
169
00:07:48,483 --> 00:07:51,852
That's a foul.
No fair offering cookies.
170
00:07:51,919 --> 00:07:54,721
Did Jack forget
how good my cookies were?
171
00:07:55,357 --> 00:07:56,290
Whoa!
172
00:07:59,361 --> 00:08:00,962
Let me remind you.
173
00:08:02,797 --> 00:08:05,566
I'm with her, guys.
Sorry.
174
00:08:05,633 --> 00:08:07,067
Yeah, so am I.
175
00:08:07,135 --> 00:08:09,937
Honey, would it be okay if I went...
No? Okay. No.
176
00:08:10,004 --> 00:08:11,872
All right, look.
177
00:08:11,939 --> 00:08:13,641
I know both sides want me, but
I'm gonna reserve my decision
178
00:08:13,708 --> 00:08:15,709
until I hear
all the pitches, okay?
179
00:08:15,744 --> 00:08:17,611
Uh, no, see,
you're Cory's brother.
180
00:08:17,679 --> 00:08:19,546
You need to go over
to his side.
181
00:08:19,614 --> 00:08:22,016
No, he's Jack's best friend!
He should be on their side!
182
00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:24,118
Yeah, but it would be
a really unfair advantage...
183
00:08:24,186 --> 00:08:25,852
Hey, hey, ho!
Come on!
184
00:08:25,921 --> 00:08:28,688
Stop fighting over me, guys!
Stop fighting over me!
185
00:08:28,756 --> 00:08:31,558
No, no, no, I've already
made my decision, all right?
186
00:08:31,626 --> 00:08:33,794
Do I get cookies?
No.
187
00:08:33,861 --> 00:08:35,996
How about a cracker?
Nothin'.
188
00:08:36,064 --> 00:08:37,097
Mutton?
189
00:08:38,199 --> 00:08:41,435
Fine! Fine!
You'll regret this one day.
190
00:08:41,503 --> 00:08:44,171
I've already decided to be
on the side of, um...
191
00:08:44,238 --> 00:08:45,339
Um...
192
00:08:48,376 --> 00:08:50,110
Hey! Okay, okay.
193
00:08:50,178 --> 00:08:51,745
(SHUSHING)
194
00:08:51,813 --> 00:08:55,282
(WHISPERING) I'm not really on your team.
I'm a spy.
195
00:08:57,319 --> 00:08:58,519
(YELLS)
196
00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:02,924
Hey, wait. No. I'm not
really on your team.
197
00:09:02,991 --> 00:09:04,491
I'm a spy.
198
00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:07,327
The Civil War was
one of the darkest moments
199
00:09:07,395 --> 00:09:09,597
in the history
of our nation.
200
00:09:09,665 --> 00:09:12,900
Once united, we were now
on the precipice
201
00:09:12,968 --> 00:09:15,536
of a terrible
conflagration
202
00:09:15,603 --> 00:09:18,305
which would cast
friend against friend,
203
00:09:18,372 --> 00:09:20,074
and brother against brother.
204
00:09:20,141 --> 00:09:22,209
Mr. Feeny,
this war must be stopped!
205
00:09:23,911 --> 00:09:27,181
Your passion for the material
is admirable, Mr. Matthews,
206
00:09:27,248 --> 00:09:31,084
but not to worry. The Civil War was
fought over a hundred years ago.
207
00:09:31,152 --> 00:09:34,154
Oh, no one cares about that crap.
I'm talking about now!
208
00:09:34,222 --> 00:09:35,255
Come on,
make 'em call it off.
209
00:09:35,323 --> 00:09:37,358
I just don't want to
see anybody get hurt!
210
00:09:37,426 --> 00:09:40,527
Mr. Matthews, I have no idea
what you're talking about,
211
00:09:40,595 --> 00:09:43,998
and "that's the way,
uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it."
212
00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:50,704
Tomorrow, we'll begin with the
first shots fired on Fort Sumter.
213
00:09:56,011 --> 00:09:58,278
Hey, come on. I was just
looking for a little kiss.
214
00:09:58,347 --> 00:09:59,680
Don't do it.
He's on the other side.
215
00:09:59,748 --> 00:10:01,181
Angela, it's still me.
216
00:10:02,183 --> 00:10:05,519
All right, but put your
hands where I can see 'em.
217
00:10:05,587 --> 00:10:07,288
Hey, that goes both ways.
Hands up.
218
00:10:09,724 --> 00:10:11,024
(BOOING)
219
00:10:11,026 --> 00:10:13,260
Come on! Come on!
Stop! Stop!
220
00:10:13,327 --> 00:10:15,128
I can't take
this anymore!
221
00:10:15,196 --> 00:10:16,697
Friend against friend,
brother against brother.
222
00:10:16,765 --> 00:10:18,866
Don't you realize that nothing
good can come from this?
223
00:10:20,669 --> 00:10:22,235
We surrender!
No, we don't!
224
00:10:23,672 --> 00:10:25,472
Then we surrender!
Get away from me!
225
00:10:25,540 --> 00:10:27,041
(WHISPERING) Come on, no.
I'm a spy!
226
00:10:27,108 --> 00:10:29,276
I'm on both sides, remember,
because we did... Shh!
227
00:10:29,343 --> 00:10:30,678
Come on...
228
00:10:31,546 --> 00:10:32,613
Hey.
229
00:10:33,347 --> 00:10:34,615
Hey!
What?
230
00:10:35,283 --> 00:10:36,784
I'm stuck!
231
00:10:36,851 --> 00:10:38,819
Super glue
on the chairs!
232
00:10:38,887 --> 00:10:40,287
My skirt is ruined!
233
00:10:40,355 --> 00:10:42,956
Oh, no, no!
Friend against friend!
234
00:10:43,024 --> 00:10:45,726
(LAUGHS) The old
super glue trick.
235
00:10:45,794 --> 00:10:47,795
Amateurs.
236
00:10:47,863 --> 00:10:48,895
Wait. You're not mad?
237
00:10:48,964 --> 00:10:51,765
Eric, this is nothing!
It's not even clever.
238
00:10:51,833 --> 00:10:54,101
You don't think so?
Not worthy of comment.
239
00:10:54,135 --> 00:10:56,503
Well, what if
it isn't over?
240
00:10:56,571 --> 00:10:57,604
Huh?
241
00:11:06,481 --> 00:11:07,515
Ew!
242
00:11:12,988 --> 00:11:14,454
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
243
00:11:15,557 --> 00:11:16,623
Oh, God!
244
00:11:18,660 --> 00:11:20,027
(SPUTTERS)
245
00:11:21,496 --> 00:11:22,763
Honey!
246
00:11:22,831 --> 00:11:23,998
What?
247
00:11:24,099 --> 00:11:25,332
No. Honey!
248
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:27,867
What?
It's honey, idiot!
249
00:11:27,935 --> 00:11:29,569
Ooh, I love honey!
Come here!
250
00:11:31,072 --> 00:11:32,506
Okay, okay.
251
00:11:32,573 --> 00:11:36,277
So, we're glued to the
seats and we're sticky.
252
00:11:36,344 --> 00:11:38,913
Eh, it's pretty good.
It's not great.
253
00:11:38,980 --> 00:11:40,381
(LOUD GROWLING)
254
00:11:42,918 --> 00:11:44,051
Now it's great.
255
00:11:47,255 --> 00:11:48,322
(YELPS)
256
00:11:50,858 --> 00:11:52,459
A bear?
257
00:11:52,526 --> 00:11:55,762
A ferocious predator
mauling about my classroom?
258
00:11:55,830 --> 00:11:58,966
Well, you must have been
glued to your seats!
259
00:11:59,033 --> 00:12:00,401
(CHUCKLING)
260
00:12:02,671 --> 00:12:04,037
We could have died!
261
00:12:05,073 --> 00:12:06,173
Yeah.
262
00:12:09,010 --> 00:12:10,177
What are we gonna do
to retaliate?
263
00:12:10,245 --> 00:12:11,412
What are we gonna do
to get 'em back?
264
00:12:11,479 --> 00:12:12,712
We're gonna
get 'em back, right?
265
00:12:12,780 --> 00:12:14,148
Down, catwoman. Down.
266
00:12:14,215 --> 00:12:15,482
We'll get them.
Don't worry.
267
00:12:15,550 --> 00:12:16,917
Tell me, tell me.
What are we gonna do?
268
00:12:18,853 --> 00:12:21,221
ALL: Hey.
269
00:12:21,256 --> 00:12:23,591
You had enough now that you
know who you're dealing with?
270
00:12:23,658 --> 00:12:25,526
Ready to discuss
terms of surrender?
271
00:12:25,594 --> 00:12:28,362
Can you "bear"
to continue?
272
00:12:28,429 --> 00:12:32,065
Come on. Somebody surrender already.
Let's just be done with this!
273
00:12:32,133 --> 00:12:33,800
No. No surrender.
274
00:12:33,868 --> 00:12:35,769
And speaking of bear...
275
00:12:39,607 --> 00:12:40,975
What's that all about?
276
00:12:41,576 --> 00:12:42,743
We don't know.
277
00:12:42,811 --> 00:12:43,978
(CHUCKLES)
278
00:12:53,955 --> 00:12:55,622
(EXAGGERATED LAUGHTER)
279
00:13:02,297 --> 00:13:03,797
How could you?
280
00:13:07,702 --> 00:13:08,936
(CRYING)
281
00:13:24,085 --> 00:13:26,686
You know, I knew it. I knew
this was gonna happen.
282
00:13:34,996 --> 00:13:37,230
You only have yourselves
to blame for this.
283
00:13:38,132 --> 00:13:39,332
Hope you feel really bad.
284
00:13:41,135 --> 00:13:42,603
Look, Rachel,
I'm really sorry.
285
00:13:42,671 --> 00:13:46,407
We were just picking it up
a step, that's all.
286
00:13:46,474 --> 00:13:48,609
You know, you look
really good in the picture.
287
00:13:48,677 --> 00:13:50,344
Right, Shawn?
Yeah, really good.
288
00:13:50,412 --> 00:13:53,179
I even made a wallet size
for myself here.
289
00:13:53,247 --> 00:13:55,449
Rip it up!
Okay.
290
00:13:55,516 --> 00:13:57,985
You went too far, Shawn.
This was bad.
291
00:13:58,053 --> 00:14:00,353
Oh, Angela. Like I don't know
whose side you're really on!
292
00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:02,489
What are you talking about?
I'm on your side.
293
00:14:02,557 --> 00:14:04,291
I had that picture made
when Jack and I were dating,
294
00:14:04,358 --> 00:14:07,027
and I've had it
under my bed ever since!
295
00:14:07,095 --> 00:14:09,229
I've missed it
like crazy.
296
00:14:09,297 --> 00:14:11,631
You were the only one
who had access to it!
297
00:14:11,699 --> 00:14:13,533
Uh-oh.
Rachel, I would never!
298
00:14:13,601 --> 00:14:15,168
Sure, you would.
He's your boyfriend.
299
00:14:15,236 --> 00:14:17,304
But you're my roommate. I can't
believe you're accusing me.
300
00:14:17,372 --> 00:14:19,239
You never let Shawn
into our room?
301
00:14:21,109 --> 00:14:23,444
You said you left
a book in my room.
302
00:14:23,511 --> 00:14:24,878
Uh-oh!
I knew it!
303
00:14:26,114 --> 00:14:27,914
I can't believe
you lied to me.
304
00:14:27,982 --> 00:14:30,417
War, Angela.
The thing all's fair in?
305
00:14:30,484 --> 00:14:33,587
Oh, no, you betrayed
my trust for a sick joke?
306
00:14:33,688 --> 00:14:35,189
Uh-oh!
307
00:14:35,256 --> 00:14:37,691
Wait a minute. How did you
even know about the picture?
308
00:14:42,063 --> 00:14:43,129
(LOUDLY) Uh-oh!
309
00:14:44,966 --> 00:14:47,467
You showed it to Shawn?
310
00:14:47,535 --> 00:14:50,404
Once, all right? When we were
still dating a long time ago!
311
00:14:50,472 --> 00:14:52,038
Only because he showed me
a picture of Angela.
312
00:14:52,106 --> 00:14:54,541
Hey! You showed him that?
313
00:14:55,143 --> 00:14:56,043
Hey!
314
00:14:56,110 --> 00:14:57,977
How come I never get
to see nothing?
315
00:14:59,380 --> 00:15:01,582
That was a private gift
from me to you!
316
00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:04,050
I know. I know.
I'm sorry, all right?
317
00:15:04,118 --> 00:15:05,452
I can't believe you, man.
318
00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:06,987
Come on, Rachel,
we're brothers.
319
00:15:07,055 --> 00:15:08,888
Brothers tell each other
everything.
320
00:15:08,956 --> 00:15:11,592
We're only half brothers, all right?
I only have to tell you half.
321
00:15:11,659 --> 00:15:13,460
But you weren't loyal to me, Jack!
No one was!
322
00:15:13,528 --> 00:15:16,029
Hey, wait a minute. I took your side!
That's not fair!
323
00:15:16,097 --> 00:15:17,264
Hey, I'm on your side, too.
324
00:15:17,332 --> 00:15:19,399
It's Cory and Shawn
that we're mad at.
325
00:15:21,602 --> 00:15:24,338
I still can't get this
honey out of my hair.
326
00:15:24,405 --> 00:15:25,539
What's going on?
327
00:15:25,607 --> 00:15:27,341
Oh, as if
you didn't know!
328
00:15:27,409 --> 00:15:30,077
Our team just got even. Their
team's being a bad sport.
329
00:15:30,145 --> 00:15:32,412
You're gonna pretend that you
don't know what they did to me?
330
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:34,648
They blew this up for the
whole wide world to see!
331
00:15:34,715 --> 00:15:36,250
Fun, huh?
332
00:15:36,317 --> 00:15:37,317
(SNICKERING)
333
00:15:37,385 --> 00:15:38,618
Funny, huh?
334
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:41,221
The legend continues.
335
00:15:42,791 --> 00:15:46,793
Rachel, I am so sorry. I had
nothing to do with this.
336
00:15:46,861 --> 00:15:49,295
Why did I have
nothing to do with this?
337
00:15:49,364 --> 00:15:50,530
Uh-oh.
338
00:15:50,598 --> 00:15:52,866
I am on your team, remember?
Uh-oh.
339
00:15:52,933 --> 00:15:55,869
We make decisions together!
Remember?
340
00:15:55,937 --> 00:15:57,137
It was Shawn's idea.
341
00:15:58,072 --> 00:15:59,172
Uh-oh!
342
00:16:00,341 --> 00:16:01,742
But of course.
343
00:16:01,810 --> 00:16:05,179
Whenever there's trouble,
Shawn can't be too far behind.
344
00:16:05,246 --> 00:16:06,647
It was a nice toast
at the wedding, Shawn.
345
00:16:06,714 --> 00:16:08,548
It's Cory and Topanga now.
346
00:16:08,616 --> 00:16:11,685
Cory and Topanga are best
friends, not Cory and Shawn.
347
00:16:11,753 --> 00:16:13,153
I thought
we were a team.
348
00:16:13,220 --> 00:16:14,454
Hey, look, we're all
in this together.
349
00:16:14,522 --> 00:16:16,457
Yeah, for once,
I thought we were!
350
00:16:16,524 --> 00:16:19,426
For once, I thought it
could be the three of us!
351
00:16:19,494 --> 00:16:22,095
That's why I wanted to be
on your guys' team.
352
00:16:22,163 --> 00:16:24,965
To be part of the legendary
team, but I guess I'm not.
353
00:16:26,834 --> 00:16:28,568
Rachel, I'm sorry.
354
00:16:28,636 --> 00:16:31,171
Why are you all
taking Rachel's side?
355
00:16:31,239 --> 00:16:32,840
You've known me and Shawn
all your life.
356
00:16:32,907 --> 00:16:34,675
You've known Rachel, what,
a couple of years?
357
00:16:38,112 --> 00:16:39,513
Oh, Rachel,
I'm really sorry.
358
00:16:39,580 --> 00:16:41,314
That's not how we think
of you or anything.
359
00:16:41,382 --> 00:16:43,783
No, it's not.
360
00:16:43,851 --> 00:16:46,553
How stupid am I? I actually thought
that you guys were my friends.
361
00:16:46,620 --> 00:16:47,921
Of course we are!
362
00:16:47,989 --> 00:16:49,723
Rachel, you were
in our wedding!
363
00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:52,458
I really thought that you guys
let me into your special world.
364
00:16:55,529 --> 00:16:57,397
I guess the joke
really is on me.
365
00:17:01,669 --> 00:17:03,170
And I guess
it's no accident
366
00:17:03,238 --> 00:17:05,205
the way the teams
are picked around here.
367
00:17:05,273 --> 00:17:07,641
Yeah,
what a coincidence, huh?
368
00:17:07,708 --> 00:17:10,344
Lifelongers versus...
369
00:17:10,411 --> 00:17:12,513
I guess I really don't know
what we are.
370
00:17:13,981 --> 00:17:15,715
Come on. Angela...
371
00:17:16,350 --> 00:17:17,351
Jack!
372
00:17:17,418 --> 00:17:19,553
It's okay.
It's okay, all right?
373
00:17:19,621 --> 00:17:21,154
It's you and you
and me now.
374
00:17:27,228 --> 00:17:29,563
All right.
It's you and me now.
375
00:17:33,901 --> 00:17:35,602
Okay, it's just me now.
376
00:17:39,306 --> 00:17:42,442
I cannot believe that you would
take Rachel's side over mine!
377
00:17:42,510 --> 00:17:44,044
I took your side!
378
00:17:44,112 --> 00:17:46,647
I wanted to be
on Cory and Shawn's team!
379
00:17:46,714 --> 00:17:49,582
I was excited to be part
of that immortal friendship!
380
00:17:49,651 --> 00:17:51,652
You left me out, Cory!
381
00:17:51,719 --> 00:17:55,388
Topanga, you were in the shower washing
your hair for, like, 11 hours!
382
00:17:55,456 --> 00:17:57,090
Do you know why a husband
is supposed to tell his wife
383
00:17:57,158 --> 00:17:58,858
when he's gonna
do something?
384
00:17:58,926 --> 00:18:02,295
So she can tell him what a stupid
idea it is before he does it!
385
00:18:02,363 --> 00:18:03,964
Look,
386
00:18:04,031 --> 00:18:06,066
I don't want you to think that
you're not my best friend. Okay?
387
00:18:06,134 --> 00:18:08,969
And I do not want you to think
that I would ever hurt you.
388
00:18:12,139 --> 00:18:13,507
Why was it
a stupid idea?
389
00:18:13,575 --> 00:18:15,175
Because you hurt
someone's feelings!
390
00:18:15,242 --> 00:18:16,943
Rachel's.
And mine.
391
00:18:19,780 --> 00:18:21,548
Oh, great, the butt!
392
00:18:29,390 --> 00:18:31,958
All right, look. I'm glad you're both here.
Listen to me.
393
00:18:32,026 --> 00:18:34,293
I've been reading a lot about
this guy named Gandhi.
394
00:18:34,361 --> 00:18:35,929
Gandhi's an Indian.
395
00:18:35,997 --> 00:18:37,964
He's a Cherokee, I think, but
it's not really what's important.
396
00:18:38,032 --> 00:18:41,067
Gandhi is a master at solving
all conflicts peacefully.
397
00:18:41,135 --> 00:18:44,571
Now, the first thing we need
to do is start a dialogue.
398
00:18:48,108 --> 00:18:50,677
Okay, see, to have a dialogue,
somebody has to talk.
399
00:18:54,515 --> 00:18:56,783
"Somebody has to talk."
Yeah.
400
00:18:56,851 --> 00:18:58,552
So, who's gonna go first?
401
00:19:00,154 --> 00:19:01,421
Oh, to hell
with you, man.
402
00:19:01,489 --> 00:19:03,190
Now, see, that's good.
Let's build from that.
403
00:19:03,257 --> 00:19:04,457
To hell with you, too.
404
00:19:04,525 --> 00:19:05,792
I don't think you guys
are getting it,
405
00:19:05,860 --> 00:19:07,794
so I'm gonna skip right
ahead to the next chapter,
406
00:19:07,862 --> 00:19:09,963
which is, of course,
"The Hunger Strike."
407
00:19:11,466 --> 00:19:13,733
I will not eat or drink
until the two of you make up.
408
00:19:13,801 --> 00:19:15,769
Okay, go! Om.
409
00:19:20,140 --> 00:19:21,207
Looks good.
410
00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:24,477
You got
a cheeseburger there?
411
00:19:26,247 --> 00:19:27,647
Have a little bit of pie?
412
00:19:29,783 --> 00:19:31,251
It's fine, it's fine.
413
00:19:33,354 --> 00:19:34,887
(CHANTING) Yum.
414
00:19:37,124 --> 00:19:38,692
Oh, I'm so freaking hungry!
415
00:19:39,293 --> 00:19:41,194
Eric, butt out!
416
00:19:41,262 --> 00:19:43,463
I can't butt out.
I'm the peacemaker.
417
00:19:43,531 --> 00:19:46,032
That's why I was on both sides.
Remember? Shh.
418
00:19:47,034 --> 00:19:48,735
You weren't on
anybody's side.
419
00:19:48,803 --> 00:19:50,303
What are you talking about?
Everybody wanted me!
420
00:19:50,371 --> 00:19:51,705
No. Nobody wanted you!
421
00:19:53,107 --> 00:19:54,407
What?
422
00:19:54,475 --> 00:19:55,608
Nobody wanted you
on their team!
423
00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:06,520
What did you do that for?
424
00:20:06,588 --> 00:20:08,354
Don't tell me
what to do, moron!
425
00:20:15,863 --> 00:20:18,598
Look, I know I do
crazy things sometimes.
426
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:21,368
I hope you still love me.
427
00:20:21,436 --> 00:20:23,103
I'm not talking to you.
428
00:20:26,974 --> 00:20:28,541
I'm not talking
to you, either.
429
00:20:28,609 --> 00:20:31,244
What? Come on, Topanga, you
and I are on the same team.
430
00:20:31,312 --> 00:20:32,712
Oh, sure we are. Right.
431
00:20:32,780 --> 00:20:34,915
Well, here.
Here's my coffee.
432
00:20:34,982 --> 00:20:36,682
Why don't you make a toast?
433
00:20:39,687 --> 00:20:41,588
Hey, Angela.
I'm not talking to you.
434
00:20:41,655 --> 00:20:42,822
I'm not talking to you,
either!
435
00:20:42,890 --> 00:20:44,057
And I'm not
talking to you!
436
00:20:44,124 --> 00:20:45,692
And I'm not
talking to you!
437
00:20:59,707 --> 00:21:01,041
Are you talking to me?
Shut up!
438
00:21:01,108 --> 00:21:02,075
Okay.
439
00:21:02,125 --> 00:21:06,675
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