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1
00:00:01,253 --> 00:00:02,653
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
2
00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:25,075
So, honey,
how was your day?
3
00:00:25,142 --> 00:00:26,810
Oh, just great, dear.
4
00:00:26,912 --> 00:00:28,612
Mmm. Are the kids tucked in?
5
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:29,880
All tucked in.
6
00:00:29,948 --> 00:00:32,482
Mommy and Daddy can have
some together time.
7
00:00:32,551 --> 00:00:34,585
Ooh!
8
00:00:34,653 --> 00:00:37,354
Well, when was the last time
we had a moment alone?
9
00:00:37,422 --> 00:00:38,689
Certainly before
the kids came.
10
00:00:38,757 --> 00:00:40,957
Yeah. Life was
better then.
11
00:00:43,195 --> 00:00:45,028
Honey, I hate the kids.
12
00:00:46,031 --> 00:00:47,163
We're still hungry.
13
00:00:47,299 --> 00:00:49,300
Spaghetti!
14
00:00:49,367 --> 00:00:52,369
Don't you guys have any
baked goods or frozen treats?
15
00:00:52,471 --> 00:00:55,205
Uh, guys, you are
our closest friends,
16
00:00:55,273 --> 00:00:57,774
but we are sick
and tired of you.
17
00:00:57,876 --> 00:01:00,010
Please get out and
don't ever come back.
18
00:01:00,045 --> 00:01:02,880
(LAUGHING) They crack
me up, these two.
19
00:01:02,948 --> 00:01:05,415
Cory, maybe we should
go back to our... Hole?
20
00:01:05,483 --> 00:01:07,117
Our... Our...
Dump? Sewer?
21
00:01:10,054 --> 00:01:12,589
Look, we'd love to hang out
with you guys forever,
22
00:01:12,657 --> 00:01:15,993
but right now, you're
on this new marriage thing
23
00:01:16,061 --> 00:01:18,094
and we're on this new
living-together thing.
24
00:01:18,162 --> 00:01:20,064
Yeah. So it's like you're
a couple and we're a couple,
25
00:01:20,131 --> 00:01:22,299
and we're exactly
the same except that...
26
00:01:22,366 --> 00:01:24,367
You're married
and we're happy.
27
00:01:25,369 --> 00:01:26,570
So get out.
28
00:01:27,204 --> 00:01:28,472
We're serious.
29
00:01:29,573 --> 00:01:30,740
We understand.
30
00:01:31,943 --> 00:01:33,743
We really do.
31
00:01:33,812 --> 00:01:36,713
We'd never want to impose
on your little life of sin.
32
00:01:37,748 --> 00:01:39,382
You make me sick!
33
00:01:40,484 --> 00:01:41,551
Sluts.
34
00:01:43,721 --> 00:01:45,756
We're just gonna go and hang
out with our other friends.
35
00:01:45,823 --> 00:01:47,758
Yeah! You think you're our
only friends in the world?
36
00:01:47,825 --> 00:01:49,058
Well, you're not!
37
00:01:49,126 --> 00:01:51,361
Because we are
a beloved couple!
38
00:01:53,698 --> 00:01:55,365
You got other friends?
No. You?
39
00:01:55,433 --> 00:01:56,934
No. Why'd we do that?
I don't know.
40
00:01:57,001 --> 00:01:59,269
Well, what are we gonna do now?
I don't know.
41
00:02:06,544 --> 00:02:08,111
(WHISPERING)
42
00:02:10,582 --> 00:02:12,549
Angela, I have never
seen you so happy.
43
00:02:12,617 --> 00:02:14,919
Oh, that's because
I haven't been.
44
00:02:14,986 --> 00:02:17,254
That's why I'm not gonna get
in the way of you and Shawn.
45
00:02:17,322 --> 00:02:18,655
So I'm gonna move out.
46
00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,357
Why? You're
not in the way.
47
00:02:20,424 --> 00:02:21,891
No, I know I'm not,
but I got this offer
48
00:02:21,959 --> 00:02:23,827
to be a resident advisor
at Brittany Hall,
49
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:25,595
and I thought
it might be fun.
50
00:02:25,697 --> 00:02:28,365
Oh, Rachel, you don't
have to move out.
51
00:02:28,433 --> 00:02:30,734
It's not like me and Shawn are a family.
(DOG BARKS)
52
00:02:30,801 --> 00:02:35,406
(LAUGHING) Look, honey.
I got us a baby!
53
00:02:35,473 --> 00:02:37,974
Oh, big dog! Big dog!
He's so cute!
54
00:02:38,042 --> 00:02:40,176
Yeah. Now it's like
we got our own family.
55
00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:41,512
I'm gonna be an RA.
56
00:02:42,414 --> 00:02:43,880
Good for you.
57
00:02:43,948 --> 00:02:46,249
(DOG BARKS) And the dog's
decided to go to the park.
58
00:02:49,687 --> 00:02:52,322
Pretty girl.
Pretty girl!
59
00:02:52,390 --> 00:02:53,290
Pretty girl!
60
00:02:53,358 --> 00:02:54,958
Uh, who's in charge here?
61
00:02:55,025 --> 00:02:57,827
You are.
Now do things to me.
62
00:02:57,896 --> 00:03:01,365
Hi. Uh, Jack Hunter,
manager of the Student Union.
63
00:03:01,432 --> 00:03:02,832
Everything you see
here, I manage it,
64
00:03:02,901 --> 00:03:04,334
because I'm Jack Hunter...
65
00:03:04,402 --> 00:03:05,668
Bed-wetter.
66
00:03:05,736 --> 00:03:07,771
You can tell her, Jack.
She's gonna find out anyway.
67
00:03:07,838 --> 00:03:09,706
And who might you be,
pretty lady?
68
00:03:09,808 --> 00:03:10,974
I'm your new boss.
69
00:03:11,009 --> 00:03:13,209
Name? Name, name. Name?
70
00:03:13,245 --> 00:03:14,177
Name.
71
00:03:15,046 --> 00:03:16,947
Name is Bridget Murphy.
72
00:03:18,016 --> 00:03:19,383
Murphy?
73
00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:21,150
Like the bed?
Vomit!
74
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,388
If I may be so bold,
75
00:03:25,256 --> 00:03:26,423
how did somebody as
76
00:03:26,491 --> 00:03:27,724
(STAMMERING INCOHERENTLY)
77
00:03:27,792 --> 00:03:30,694
as you get to be the manager
of our Student Union?
78
00:03:30,795 --> 00:03:32,495
Oh, I know a guy.
79
00:03:32,530 --> 00:03:33,797
Mmm.
What guy?
80
00:03:33,832 --> 00:03:35,065
Well, some would
like to call him
81
00:03:35,133 --> 00:03:37,668
the chancellor
of this university.
82
00:03:37,736 --> 00:03:40,471
I, however, like
to call him daddy.
83
00:03:40,538 --> 00:03:42,940
I like to call
him daddy, too.
84
00:03:43,007 --> 00:03:45,142
Her father is
Chancellor Murphy.
85
00:03:45,210 --> 00:03:48,479
(LAUGHS) That's right, boys.
Nepotism rears its ugly head.
86
00:03:48,546 --> 00:03:50,213
Nepotism!
It's nepotism!
87
00:03:50,248 --> 00:03:52,049
You have no idea what that means.
Why should I?
88
00:03:53,951 --> 00:03:55,919
Well, then let me
explain it to you.
89
00:03:56,988 --> 00:03:59,256
I own you.
90
00:03:59,324 --> 00:04:01,658
I can do anything
I want with you,
91
00:04:01,726 --> 00:04:03,093
and I probably
will because
92
00:04:03,161 --> 00:04:05,395
I'm a spoiled little brat
who always gets her way.
93
00:04:14,772 --> 00:04:17,107
So far, I don't hear
anything I don't like.
94
00:04:17,709 --> 00:04:20,310
Good. Go clean
the toilets.
95
00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:23,013
Thank you.
(GIGGLING)
96
00:04:28,153 --> 00:04:30,654
You know, I understand
97
00:04:30,721 --> 00:04:33,290
that it must be somewhat
embarrassing for you,
98
00:04:33,358 --> 00:04:35,592
having once held
this position.
99
00:04:37,094 --> 00:04:39,663
No, I'm okay.
100
00:04:39,730 --> 00:04:41,097
What, uh, would be
embarrassing, though,
101
00:04:41,166 --> 00:04:43,700
is if I let some
obviously spoiled
102
00:04:43,768 --> 00:04:45,935
and surgically-augmented
little daddy's girl
103
00:04:46,003 --> 00:04:47,771
ruffle my feathers.
104
00:04:47,839 --> 00:04:50,073
Are you gonna
kiss me now?
105
00:04:50,141 --> 00:04:52,442
I'm gonna kiss you never.
106
00:04:52,510 --> 00:04:55,546
Do you think I don't understand
good looks and a rich daddy?
107
00:04:55,613 --> 00:04:59,449
Yeah, you and I are cut from the
same velvet cloth, Miss Bridget.
108
00:04:59,517 --> 00:05:02,519
So I know how to protect
myself from you.
109
00:05:02,587 --> 00:05:04,755
And I know how to protect
my friends, too.
110
00:05:05,790 --> 00:05:08,224
Toilets are clean, boss.
Oh, hey, look.
111
00:05:08,292 --> 00:05:09,726
I'm a Teletubby.
112
00:05:14,732 --> 00:05:16,266
He's not my friend.
113
00:05:17,201 --> 00:05:18,535
Not the purple one, though.
114
00:05:20,104 --> 00:05:22,039
Hoo! Hoo!
(LAUGHING)
115
00:05:23,340 --> 00:05:26,176
Behold! Our future, okay?
116
00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:29,680
Two bedrooms, two
bathrooms, a kitchen,
117
00:05:29,747 --> 00:05:31,481
and some kind of nook!
118
00:05:32,316 --> 00:05:34,150
Why would you take us here?
119
00:05:34,218 --> 00:05:36,786
Why would you take us to this house
which we could never afford?
120
00:05:36,854 --> 00:05:39,055
If we could afford it,
do you like it?
121
00:05:39,123 --> 00:05:40,791
We can't afford it.
122
00:05:40,858 --> 00:05:43,260
Don't do that, okay? Because you're
becoming like a negative little missy.
123
00:05:44,262 --> 00:05:46,496
Cory, it is just
cruel to take a person
124
00:05:46,564 --> 00:05:49,666
who is this close to
losing it, this close!
125
00:05:49,734 --> 00:05:52,803
And taunt her with this cute,
little, adorable house
126
00:05:52,870 --> 00:05:55,472
which she'll never,
ever live in!
127
00:05:55,539 --> 00:05:57,373
So, you like the house?
128
00:05:57,441 --> 00:05:59,777
I love this house! Why
would you do this to me?
129
00:05:59,844 --> 00:06:02,946
(IN SINGSONG VOICE) Hello!
130
00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:06,149
You must be my happy,
happy newlyweds!
131
00:06:06,217 --> 00:06:07,417
Are you the real
estate agent?
132
00:06:07,484 --> 00:06:10,087
(LAUGHING) Why,
yes, I am. Whee!
133
00:06:12,190 --> 00:06:14,124
Edith Stevens,
at your service.
134
00:06:14,192 --> 00:06:17,227
Oh, how much do you love
135
00:06:17,295 --> 00:06:20,297
this breathtaking starter
cottage with nook?
136
00:06:20,365 --> 00:06:23,167
I'm reporting you to the Better
Business Bureau immediately.
137
00:06:23,234 --> 00:06:25,402
Oh! Why, whatever for, my dear?
This man is a dope.
138
00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:27,337
You knew that after three
minutes of talking with him,
139
00:06:27,404 --> 00:06:29,539
and then you led him to believe
we could afford this house
140
00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:32,142
when the truth is he can
barely afford a sandwich.
141
00:06:32,210 --> 00:06:33,610
(CHUCKLING)
142
00:06:35,613 --> 00:06:37,346
My dear Mrs. Matthews,
143
00:06:37,414 --> 00:06:39,315
it is my joy
144
00:06:39,383 --> 00:06:43,486
to place young couples in cozy
surroundings such as these,
145
00:06:43,554 --> 00:06:47,857
and, like most other couples,
you think, "I can't afford it."
146
00:06:47,925 --> 00:06:49,092
(CHUCKLES)
147
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,260
But you can!
148
00:06:51,896 --> 00:06:52,963
How?
149
00:06:53,031 --> 00:06:55,999
How can we afford
an $80,000 house?
150
00:06:56,067 --> 00:06:58,201
Very simple.
Over 30 years.
151
00:06:58,269 --> 00:07:00,637
I've already explained
it to your husband.
152
00:07:00,705 --> 00:07:02,105
I told you not
to talk to him.
153
00:07:02,173 --> 00:07:04,641
She can talk to me.
Yeah, I can talk to him.
154
00:07:04,709 --> 00:07:05,776
(LAUGHING)
155
00:07:05,843 --> 00:07:08,311
Remember, just a
trifle down payment
156
00:07:08,379 --> 00:07:10,046
and a pittance
of a mortgage
157
00:07:10,114 --> 00:07:13,517
and two living parents
with a pen who can sign.
158
00:07:14,785 --> 00:07:16,520
You guys are gonna
be so proud of us
159
00:07:16,587 --> 00:07:19,288
because I went into the
world, I did my homework,
160
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:20,757
and I made it happen.
161
00:07:20,825 --> 00:07:21,958
I made it happen.
162
00:07:22,026 --> 00:07:23,827
What'd you do?
163
00:07:23,895 --> 00:07:25,495
No, it's good.
Really, it's good.
164
00:07:25,562 --> 00:07:27,530
I didn't think it was
good at first, but it is.
165
00:07:27,598 --> 00:07:28,865
Show them, honey.
166
00:07:28,933 --> 00:07:30,767
All we need are
your two signatures,
167
00:07:30,835 --> 00:07:33,603
and we will have our very own dream home.
With nook!
168
00:07:33,671 --> 00:07:35,872
Okay, as soon
as you sign this,
169
00:07:35,940 --> 00:07:38,107
we are completely
on our own.
170
00:07:38,175 --> 00:07:39,376
What is this?
171
00:07:39,444 --> 00:07:44,381
Well, it's a loan application
for an $80,000 house, Amy.
172
00:07:44,449 --> 00:07:46,183
I don't like when you
call him "idiot," Alan.
173
00:07:46,251 --> 00:07:47,417
I didn't call
him anything.
174
00:07:47,485 --> 00:07:49,652
Oh, I guess I must have
thought it in my head.
175
00:07:50,788 --> 00:07:51,988
(STAMMERING)
What's going on here?
176
00:07:52,056 --> 00:07:53,890
What's going on here
is you want us
177
00:07:53,958 --> 00:07:56,526
to sign your
$80,000 mortgage
178
00:07:56,594 --> 00:07:58,427
so that when you don't pay it...
We're gonna pay it.
179
00:07:58,495 --> 00:08:00,297
...they can come
and take our house.
180
00:08:00,365 --> 00:08:01,931
Is that what you
want me to sign, Cory?
181
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,767
Do you realize how
ridiculous you are?
182
00:08:04,835 --> 00:08:06,103
Why? Why is that
ridiculous?
183
00:08:06,170 --> 00:08:09,272
Because you can't buy a house
before you have a job!
184
00:08:09,339 --> 00:08:11,407
You get a job, you save
for a down payment,
185
00:08:11,475 --> 00:08:12,608
then you buy the house!
186
00:08:12,677 --> 00:08:14,210
No. No, Dad.
Because you know
187
00:08:14,278 --> 00:08:16,512
it's gonna take us forever
to raise that kind of money.
188
00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:18,882
Dad? I'm calling you Dad.
189
00:08:18,949 --> 00:08:20,951
I heard that.
190
00:08:20,953 --> 00:08:23,320
The house that we're in
right now is very bad.
191
00:08:23,388 --> 00:08:26,055
We would have invited you
there except it's very bad.
192
00:08:26,123 --> 00:08:29,192
I'm sorry, Topanga. I'm
sorry that it's very bad.
193
00:08:29,260 --> 00:08:31,728
Look, we know this
isn't easy for you.
194
00:08:31,762 --> 00:08:33,797
Look, we're dying
in that place!
195
00:08:33,864 --> 00:08:36,332
All right? Why do you
keep shutting us down?
196
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:39,035
Cory, my son,
whom I love,
197
00:08:39,970 --> 00:08:41,571
figure it out.
198
00:08:41,639 --> 00:08:43,006
You think I'm gonna figure
out what kind of father
199
00:08:43,074 --> 00:08:44,641
wants his kids
to have a bad time?
200
00:08:44,709 --> 00:08:46,542
I'm never gonna figure that out.
Never!
201
00:08:47,912 --> 00:08:49,546
I don't even know
why we came here.
202
00:08:53,584 --> 00:08:55,218
I don't understand
this either.
203
00:09:02,126 --> 00:09:03,426
I hate this, Alan.
204
00:09:03,493 --> 00:09:04,494
I know.
205
00:09:15,940 --> 00:09:17,007
It's nice.
206
00:09:17,074 --> 00:09:18,241
Liar!
207
00:09:18,842 --> 00:09:20,444
Well, when you
said, "stink hole,"
208
00:09:20,511 --> 00:09:22,946
I really didn't think it was
a stink hole, but it is.
209
00:09:23,013 --> 00:09:25,315
It is a stink hole,
isn't it? Oh...
210
00:09:25,383 --> 00:09:27,917
I think this place
has possibilities.
211
00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:32,155
What possibilities?
Grease fire? Wrecking ball?
212
00:09:32,223 --> 00:09:33,723
Or the place just
falls apart on its own
213
00:09:33,791 --> 00:09:36,093
because it
knows it should?
214
00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:38,595
Cory, come on. This is
exactly the type of place
215
00:09:38,663 --> 00:09:40,530
we always said we wanted
to live in, right?
216
00:09:40,598 --> 00:09:41,765
I'm married now.
217
00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:44,600
Oh, hey! If you two want to live
here, you can go right ahead.
218
00:09:45,569 --> 00:09:46,769
Come on.
You could...
219
00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:49,272
You could put a nice little
bookshelf in right here.
220
00:09:49,340 --> 00:09:51,207
Yeah, or get that
romantic photograph
221
00:09:51,275 --> 00:09:53,877
of the French couple
kissing by the lamppost.
222
00:09:53,944 --> 00:09:57,147
No, guys, guys, we're not gonna
fix this place up, okay?
223
00:09:57,214 --> 00:09:59,483
It's not like we're
gonna live here.
224
00:09:59,550 --> 00:10:01,217
Where are you gonna live?
225
00:10:01,285 --> 00:10:03,920
Oh, we found this great little
starter house with a nook.
226
00:10:03,955 --> 00:10:05,688
I don't get it.
227
00:10:05,756 --> 00:10:07,257
What's to get?
228
00:10:07,324 --> 00:10:09,926
We hate this house, and I'm gonna
get us into that other house
229
00:10:09,994 --> 00:10:12,762
with or without
my cheapskate dad.
230
00:10:12,830 --> 00:10:15,866
Cory, you got a great place
to start right here.
231
00:10:15,933 --> 00:10:17,701
Why don't you slow
down for a second
232
00:10:17,769 --> 00:10:19,402
and take a look
around you?
233
00:10:19,470 --> 00:10:21,972
You know, this is
your place, man.
234
00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:23,073
Fix it up.
235
00:10:23,141 --> 00:10:24,440
Have an imagination.
236
00:10:24,508 --> 00:10:26,676
You have an imagination.
237
00:10:26,744 --> 00:10:28,044
Okay, look what we
got here, Shawn.
238
00:10:28,112 --> 00:10:29,913
Imagine this is
the water you drink.
239
00:10:29,980 --> 00:10:31,247
Look at this.
240
00:10:34,118 --> 00:10:35,985
Okay? Look at that.
241
00:10:36,054 --> 00:10:38,388
Go ahead.
Drink the mud.
242
00:10:38,423 --> 00:10:42,525
Cory, imagine you have some pride in
the place and fix the rusty pipes!
243
00:10:42,593 --> 00:10:45,762
You want to live in a nice place,
you're gonna have to work at it,
244
00:10:45,830 --> 00:10:47,330
and then, someday,
245
00:10:47,398 --> 00:10:49,900
maybe you'll be lying next
to each other on the floor
246
00:10:49,967 --> 00:10:52,102
with the sun streaming
in the window,
247
00:10:52,170 --> 00:10:54,470
drinking coffee and
reading the newspaper.
248
00:10:54,538 --> 00:10:56,339
Well, you know, that's
easy for you to say,
249
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,207
Mr. I Live With
My Girlfriend
250
00:10:58,275 --> 00:11:00,677
In A Great Apartment
That I Lucked Into.
251
00:11:02,179 --> 00:11:04,814
And you know what? You
guys aren't even married!
252
00:11:04,882 --> 00:11:06,249
How fair is that?
253
00:11:08,186 --> 00:11:09,186
I don't know.
254
00:11:12,457 --> 00:11:13,457
Thanks for having us.
255
00:11:17,628 --> 00:11:19,429
We had a very nice time.
256
00:11:19,497 --> 00:11:20,630
Liar!
257
00:11:29,740 --> 00:11:31,341
ERIC: I can't keep
my eyes off her tushie.
258
00:11:31,442 --> 00:11:34,444
You must. Don't let
that tushie control you.
259
00:11:34,512 --> 00:11:35,779
Bad tushie.
Evil.
260
00:11:35,847 --> 00:11:38,081
I want it.
She knows you want it.
261
00:11:38,148 --> 00:11:40,683
She knows you'd be her
pathetic little love slave.
262
00:11:42,220 --> 00:11:43,353
(WHISPERING)
Did she say that?
263
00:11:43,420 --> 00:11:44,654
She's a sadist, Eric.
264
00:11:44,722 --> 00:11:46,156
And she's looking
for a masochist.
265
00:11:47,091 --> 00:11:47,958
Did she say that?
266
00:11:48,392 --> 00:11:49,459
No!
267
00:11:50,727 --> 00:11:51,928
Here's what she'll say,
268
00:11:51,996 --> 00:11:54,397
she'll say,
"Clean the toilets,
269
00:11:54,465 --> 00:11:56,266
"ground the espresso,
count the cups."
270
00:11:56,334 --> 00:11:58,001
And then here's
what you'll say,
271
00:11:58,069 --> 00:12:01,338
you'll say, "I will get to
it when I am good and ready,
272
00:12:01,439 --> 00:12:04,241
"so shut your cake
hole, Irene."
273
00:12:04,308 --> 00:12:06,743
Her name is Bridget,
and I wrote her this poem.
274
00:12:09,446 --> 00:12:11,648
"Bridget, you
make me fidget."
275
00:12:15,752 --> 00:12:18,021
Hello, pretty boys.
276
00:12:18,088 --> 00:12:20,190
So, have you, um,
cleaned the toilets,
277
00:12:20,258 --> 00:12:23,092
ground the espresso,
counted the cups?
278
00:12:23,227 --> 00:12:26,162
I will get to it when
I am good and ready,
279
00:12:26,230 --> 00:12:27,931
so shut your
cake hole, Irene.
280
00:12:28,866 --> 00:12:30,400
How about you,
bonehead?
281
00:12:32,236 --> 00:12:33,002
Cake hole.
282
00:12:33,070 --> 00:12:34,236
Cake hole.
283
00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:37,340
Well?
284
00:12:39,376 --> 00:12:40,443
Jack thinks
you're a bad girl
285
00:12:40,511 --> 00:12:41,945
and I'll fall prey
to your tushie.
286
00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:45,315
But I think you're
a sweet little farm girl
287
00:12:45,382 --> 00:12:47,951
who likes to hold
hands on the porch.
288
00:12:48,019 --> 00:12:49,886
Take my shoe off
and suck my third toe.
289
00:12:53,357 --> 00:12:56,993
By the way, Jack,
you're fired.
290
00:12:57,061 --> 00:12:59,529
ERIC: And I'm in a brand-new,
healthy relationship.
291
00:13:01,799 --> 00:13:03,867
"You have to have
an imagination, Cory."
292
00:13:03,934 --> 00:13:05,602
That's easy for
Shawn to say.
293
00:13:05,669 --> 00:13:08,004
He's in that cushy apartment,
living the good life,
294
00:13:08,072 --> 00:13:10,639
eating bonbons!
295
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:12,808
Maybe a bookshelf would
look cute over there.
296
00:13:12,910 --> 00:13:15,145
No. You know where a bookshelf
would look good, Topanga?
297
00:13:15,212 --> 00:13:16,880
In the nook!
298
00:13:16,948 --> 00:13:18,815
Cory?
What?
299
00:13:18,883 --> 00:13:20,717
We are not gonna have
a nook right now.
300
00:13:21,752 --> 00:13:22,852
We're not?
301
00:13:23,287 --> 00:13:24,554
No.
302
00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:29,759
So, we live here now.
303
00:13:30,861 --> 00:13:32,995
Yeah.
304
00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:36,032
(EXHALES) What if
I built us a nook?
305
00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:37,800
There isn't any room.
306
00:13:37,868 --> 00:13:39,602
Well, what if
I fixed the sink?
307
00:13:39,669 --> 00:13:41,437
Do you know how
to fix a sink?
308
00:13:41,505 --> 00:13:44,340
No. You never thought you'd ever
have to fix a sink, did you?
309
00:13:44,408 --> 00:13:46,142
No.
310
00:13:46,210 --> 00:13:47,643
What if I helped?
(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)
311
00:13:48,879 --> 00:13:50,113
You know how
to fix a sink?
312
00:13:50,180 --> 00:13:51,580
No.
313
00:13:51,648 --> 00:13:54,116
So neither one of us
knows how to fix a sink.
314
00:13:54,184 --> 00:13:55,318
Together.
315
00:13:55,385 --> 00:13:56,486
Okay.
316
00:13:57,988 --> 00:14:00,256
All right. Now, before I go
under there, I gotta tell you,
317
00:14:00,324 --> 00:14:02,358
whatever you do,
it's very important
318
00:14:02,426 --> 00:14:04,160
that you remember
that you do not
319
00:14:04,228 --> 00:14:05,428
turn on the water!
320
00:14:05,496 --> 00:14:07,998
Oh, sorry! Did
something bad happen?
321
00:14:11,835 --> 00:14:13,469
You tell me!
322
00:14:13,537 --> 00:14:14,837
Cory, I am so sorry.
323
00:14:14,905 --> 00:14:16,906
Okay, you gotta hug me.
324
00:14:16,974 --> 00:14:17,974
No!
325
00:14:18,042 --> 00:14:19,508
Hug me!
326
00:14:19,576 --> 00:14:21,077
No! Get away from me, Swamp Thing!
(LAUGHING)
327
00:14:21,144 --> 00:14:23,746
Swamp Thing wants the booty!
(EXCLAIMS)
328
00:14:23,848 --> 00:14:25,514
It's after me! I must
warn the village!
329
00:14:25,582 --> 00:14:29,352
No, no, I'm taking you back
to the swamp to do things!
330
00:14:29,420 --> 00:14:30,787
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
331
00:14:30,854 --> 00:14:33,323
Aw, wouldn't you know it?
332
00:14:34,524 --> 00:14:35,692
Swamp Thing very frustrated.
333
00:14:38,429 --> 00:14:39,795
(CORY SIGHS)
334
00:14:39,863 --> 00:14:41,263
(CRYING)
She won't go to sleep.
335
00:14:41,331 --> 00:14:43,232
She hasn't slept in three
weeks, and neither have I.
336
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:45,201
Can I just lean
against your wall?
337
00:14:45,268 --> 00:14:47,270
Cory, Kelly and
the baby are here.
338
00:14:47,338 --> 00:14:49,572
Yeah, you guys got a 5/8
crescent wrench?
339
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:50,873
Oh, you figured out
how to fix it?
340
00:14:50,941 --> 00:14:53,676
No, I just want to hit
myself over the head.
341
00:14:53,778 --> 00:14:55,979
(LAUGHS) I'm sorry.
Was I interrupting something?
342
00:14:56,046 --> 00:14:59,849
Well, we were playing a nice
little game of Swamp Thing.
343
00:14:59,851 --> 00:15:01,517
Oh, Swamp Thing.
Oh, yeah.
344
00:15:01,585 --> 00:15:04,320
(LAUGHS) I remember playing
Swamp Thing with my husband.
345
00:15:04,387 --> 00:15:05,955
You know what you get
at the end of the game?
346
00:15:06,023 --> 00:15:06,790
What's that?
(BABY CRYING)
347
00:15:06,924 --> 00:15:08,291
Hello!
348
00:15:09,860 --> 00:15:12,696
I don't want
to play anymore.
349
00:15:12,763 --> 00:15:15,431
Well, why don't Cory and I watch the
baby and you can go see a movie?
350
00:15:15,533 --> 00:15:17,701
Oh, no, I could
never do that.
351
00:15:17,735 --> 00:15:19,202
Why? You deserve
some time to yourself,
352
00:15:19,270 --> 00:15:21,471
and Cory and I have everything
under control. Right, honey?
353
00:15:21,539 --> 00:15:23,639
Uh, there's something
staring at me in here.
354
00:15:23,708 --> 00:15:25,308
Go see a movie.
355
00:15:25,409 --> 00:15:26,709
Really?
356
00:15:26,744 --> 00:15:29,245
It's licking me!
357
00:15:29,313 --> 00:15:31,948
I'm a really good
babysitter, I promise.
358
00:15:32,016 --> 00:15:33,950
Could I sleep for
an hour instead?
359
00:15:34,018 --> 00:15:36,219
Sleep as long as
you need, darling.
360
00:15:36,287 --> 00:15:38,988
Okay. She just ate, so you
might need to burp her,
361
00:15:39,056 --> 00:15:42,558
and if she gets fussy, she likes
Itsy Bitsy Spider the best.
362
00:15:42,626 --> 00:15:44,227
Okay, go to sleep.
Okay.
363
00:15:45,129 --> 00:15:46,762
(CRYING)
(SHUSHING)
364
00:15:48,199 --> 00:15:49,298
Yeah.
365
00:15:49,367 --> 00:15:50,700
Thank you.
366
00:15:51,235 --> 00:15:52,502
(SIGHS)
367
00:15:53,503 --> 00:15:55,305
You're a good neighbor.
368
00:15:55,373 --> 00:15:56,439
I'm glad you're here.
369
00:15:57,141 --> 00:15:58,408
Thanks.
370
00:15:58,476 --> 00:15:59,642
Okay.
371
00:15:59,710 --> 00:16:00,710
Hey.
372
00:16:01,978 --> 00:16:07,116
(SINGING ITSY BITSY SPIDER)
373
00:16:07,184 --> 00:16:09,085
How's that
waterspout, sport?
374
00:16:09,152 --> 00:16:11,854
Well, I don't know how the water
spout is, but the itsy bitsy spider
375
00:16:11,922 --> 00:16:14,557
just laid about five
million eggs up my nose.
376
00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:15,892
You fix it yet,
Mr. Plumber?
377
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:17,760
Oh, how could
I have fixed it?
378
00:16:17,828 --> 00:16:20,430
How could anybody do
anything good around here?
379
00:16:28,138 --> 00:16:30,507
Oh, my gosh. Look.
380
00:16:30,574 --> 00:16:32,408
Topanga, look at this!
It's clear!
381
00:16:32,476 --> 00:16:33,543
We have clear water!
382
00:16:33,610 --> 00:16:34,744
And you fixed it!
383
00:16:34,811 --> 00:16:36,345
I fixed it!
384
00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:38,148
I fixed...
We did it!
385
00:16:38,215 --> 00:16:40,884
We did this!
I feel incredible!
386
00:16:40,951 --> 00:16:42,952
What a great
day for me.
387
00:16:43,020 --> 00:16:44,653
Isn't that incredible?
388
00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:48,891
Cory, look.
She went to sleep.
389
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:51,460
She went to sleep for me.
390
00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:54,830
She's comfortable here.
391
00:16:59,570 --> 00:17:01,136
Well, here we are.
(SIGHS)
392
00:17:01,205 --> 00:17:02,938
Mmm-hmm.
393
00:17:03,006 --> 00:17:05,908
Lying on the floor, reading the
newspaper together and drinking coffee.
394
00:17:06,810 --> 00:17:07,910
It's perfect.
395
00:17:07,977 --> 00:17:09,345
It's what I've
always wanted.
396
00:17:10,447 --> 00:17:12,481
You happy?
397
00:17:12,549 --> 00:17:14,750
I'm as happy
as I'm gonna get.
398
00:17:15,586 --> 00:17:17,786
What does that mean?
399
00:17:17,854 --> 00:17:20,223
We don't deserve this,
Angela, not yet.
400
00:17:21,592 --> 00:17:24,260
This came easy for us.
We didn't work at it.
401
00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:28,497
It's easy to be
happy about all of this,
402
00:17:28,565 --> 00:17:30,199
but what if we
were on our own
403
00:17:30,267 --> 00:17:32,702
and other people weren't
helping us pay the rent?
404
00:17:34,404 --> 00:17:37,440
You're jealous of
Cory and Topanga.
405
00:17:37,507 --> 00:17:40,843
You're jealous of
their stink hole.
406
00:17:40,910 --> 00:17:44,447
I haven't had a lot of good things in
my life that really belonged to me,
407
00:17:44,514 --> 00:17:46,215
so when they come along,
408
00:17:46,283 --> 00:17:49,952
I want to do my best to protect
them and hold on to them.
409
00:17:50,019 --> 00:17:52,921
I'm not gonna let anything bad
happen to this relationship.
410
00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:55,258
You're such a sap.
411
00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:57,025
Why can't you
just be happy?
412
00:17:57,093 --> 00:18:01,264
Because this is not real.
413
00:18:01,331 --> 00:18:02,965
I mean, it's not like
Cory and Topanga.
414
00:18:03,033 --> 00:18:05,301
You and I, we're
just playing house.
415
00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:08,637
You want what Cory
and Topanga have?
416
00:18:10,274 --> 00:18:11,607
Do you want
to get married?
417
00:18:12,709 --> 00:18:15,144
(CHUCKLES)
Are you proposing?
418
00:18:17,381 --> 00:18:19,215
I'm just asking.
419
00:18:22,152 --> 00:18:23,152
Not yet.
Not yet.
420
00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:24,286
(BOTH LAUGH)
421
00:18:25,322 --> 00:18:27,690
But someday,
422
00:18:27,758 --> 00:18:29,192
if and when we do,
423
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,027
I promise,
424
00:18:31,095 --> 00:18:33,363
we'll have a stink hole
just like Cory and Topanga.
425
00:18:34,631 --> 00:18:37,333
You promise?
Yeah.
426
00:18:37,401 --> 00:18:39,168
(SIGHING) Ooh, I'm
looking forward to it.
427
00:18:40,237 --> 00:18:41,437
Me, too.
428
00:18:44,875 --> 00:18:46,742
Who's gonna
break it to him?
429
00:18:51,949 --> 00:18:54,750
Drink this, you no-signing,
no-money-giving-us,
430
00:18:54,818 --> 00:18:57,820
no-letting-us- stay-in-your-house
little wisp of a man.
431
00:18:57,888 --> 00:18:59,088
Drink it!
432
00:19:00,290 --> 00:19:01,490
Is it poison?
433
00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:03,826
It was before
Cory fixed it.
434
00:19:03,828 --> 00:19:05,027
You fixed pipes?
435
00:19:05,095 --> 00:19:07,163
He fixed pipes, dear.
436
00:19:07,264 --> 00:19:09,398
While I was playing
with the baby.
437
00:19:09,466 --> 00:19:12,101
They had a baby, dear.
438
00:19:12,169 --> 00:19:13,869
You know, I was gonna
call you to come over
439
00:19:13,937 --> 00:19:15,704
and help me fix the
pipes, but I didn't.
440
00:19:15,772 --> 00:19:18,474
You wanna know why? 'Cause I
didn't think you'd help me.
441
00:19:18,542 --> 00:19:20,176
Would you have helped me?
442
00:19:20,244 --> 00:19:22,111
No.
Well, I knew it.
443
00:19:22,179 --> 00:19:24,413
Well, we fixed
the pipes ourselves.
444
00:19:26,183 --> 00:19:27,683
And how do you
feel about that?
445
00:19:27,718 --> 00:19:30,486
Proud. Very proud
of us, okay?
446
00:19:30,554 --> 00:19:32,388
Topanga and I are
gonna paint our place,
447
00:19:32,455 --> 00:19:34,891
we're gonna put up a bookshelf, and
someday, when we can afford it,
448
00:19:34,958 --> 00:19:36,559
we are gonna buy that
house with a nook.
449
00:19:36,627 --> 00:19:37,960
Without your help.
450
00:19:38,028 --> 00:19:39,695
Now what do you
have to say to that?
451
00:19:41,265 --> 00:19:45,334
I'd say you finally
figured it out.
452
00:19:45,402 --> 00:19:47,436
Welcome to being an adult.
453
00:19:48,205 --> 00:19:49,605
(ALAN LAUGHS)
454
00:19:49,673 --> 00:19:52,541
When your mother and I got
married, we had nothing.
455
00:19:52,610 --> 00:19:54,978
Nobody would help us.
We did fine.
456
00:19:55,045 --> 00:19:56,412
We didn't know it then,
457
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,581
but it was the sweetest
time in our lives.
458
00:19:58,649 --> 00:20:00,516
We bonded together forever.
459
00:20:00,584 --> 00:20:02,451
We fell completely in love
because we knew
460
00:20:02,519 --> 00:20:04,020
we made a life
for ourselves
461
00:20:04,088 --> 00:20:06,288
with nobody's
help but our own.
462
00:20:06,356 --> 00:20:07,991
Yeah.
463
00:20:08,058 --> 00:20:10,192
I would never take that
away from you, Son.
464
00:20:17,001 --> 00:20:18,701
(CHUCKLING)
465
00:20:18,736 --> 00:20:20,602
I'm sorry, Dad.
(GRUNTS APPROVINGLY)
466
00:20:22,572 --> 00:20:24,974
Thanks, Dad. I'm
calling you Dad.
467
00:20:25,042 --> 00:20:26,409
I heard that.
468
00:20:26,476 --> 00:20:27,876
(CHUCKLING)
469
00:20:38,188 --> 00:20:41,957
So, basically what you're telling me is
that your butt is out on the street?
470
00:20:42,025 --> 00:20:44,727
Well, Shawn, Jack, and Eric are
gonna take over the apartment
471
00:20:44,794 --> 00:20:48,163
because there's three bedrooms and
that's what makes sense, and...
472
00:20:48,231 --> 00:20:49,832
But your butt's
out on the street.
473
00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:51,133
Right.
474
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:53,602
But if you talk
to my last roommate,
475
00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:56,739
I bet she'll give you
some good references.
476
00:20:56,807 --> 00:20:57,973
You know what?
I know her,
477
00:20:58,041 --> 00:20:59,842
and she is a really
beautiful woman.
478
00:21:01,312 --> 00:21:03,979
Well, that she is.
479
00:21:04,047 --> 00:21:06,081
And she would love to
have you as her roommate.
480
00:21:06,149 --> 00:21:07,216
Really?
481
00:21:08,185 --> 00:21:09,285
Yeah.
482
00:21:10,654 --> 00:21:12,221
Ooh!
483
00:21:12,256 --> 00:21:14,023
But who gets the dog?
484
00:21:15,792 --> 00:21:17,693
Oh, Bridget.
485
00:21:17,761 --> 00:21:19,796
Your breath's so warm.
486
00:21:19,863 --> 00:21:20,763
(PANTING)
487
00:21:22,433 --> 00:21:23,932
So, should we
wake him up?
488
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,935
No.
489
00:21:26,002 --> 00:21:28,570
Actually, they make
kind of a cute couple.
490
00:21:29,773 --> 00:21:33,642
Bridget, I got two
words for you.
491
00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:35,344
Tic Tac.
492
00:21:35,394 --> 00:21:39,944
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