All language subtitles for Boy Meets World s06e19

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

Feeny! You. Here.
Sit. Now.

Eric, don't use that...

Dean Bolander.

Okay, what you got?

How old are you now, Mr. Feeny?
What, 90, 100?

A hundred.
What do you want?

Not what I want,
it's what you want

but you're not
going after.

Eric, my relationship
with Dean Bolander

will proceed at
my pace, not yours.

You are such
a scaredy-cat. I mean,

here's a woman that you've
obviously got the hots for

and you're not gonna
do anything about it.

Mr. Matthews, don't
reduce my feelings

for the woman
to "the hots."

Unless, of course,
she used that term.

Mr. Feeny, you've been
good to me over the years.

You taught me everything I
never paid attention to.

It's payback time.

Oh, no, no, payback time.
I don't want it. Eric...

It's out of your
hands, Feeny. Sorry.

Out of your hands, Feeny.
I beg you...

Eric...

Dean Bolander is
the kind of woman

that you have to romance
slowly, carefully.

Like an orchid.

I'm a gardener.
I know these things.

Stop selling me, girls.

I like the man
very much.

But he needs to pick up
the pace of this dance.

Isn't there anything
to be said

for the old-fashioned
approach?

Yeah.

(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

Oh, I know. He needs
to do something.

He needs to express
his feelings.

Goodness knows I've been dropping
the man hints left and right.

Well, maybe you're
being too subtle.

I hiked up my skirt
at the seminar.

Damn!

Feeny, the time
is now.

Every second you wait is
another clogged artery.

You know, my cholesterol
level is high.

George, if not
now, when?

Now.
That's right!

You are the man,
you are the man!

Oh, will you
get lost!

I'm lost, I'm lost!
Just bring her home.

Excuse me.

Um, Dean Bolander.

Yes?

There's something that I have
been meaning to say to you...

There she is!
Lila Bolander,

the eighth wonder
of the world!

Curtis!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

He must know her.

Well, Curtis, what's
it been, 15 years?

All this time, I'm running
around the world,

digging up bones, and you're
here not aging a day.

Doesn't seem fair.

But I like it.

Relax, this guy's
got nothin'.

I want you to meet
someone. George?

This is my colleague
and friend George Feeny.

Curt Kincaid.
Put it there!

A pleasure,
Mr. Kincaid.

Oh, come on.
What's with the mister?

It's doctor.
Dr. Kincaid.

Curtis is in town to speak
at our science seminar.

He's made some top-secret
find in Africa.

Oh, just
a little something

that will change the course
of the new millennium.

(CHUCKLING)

So then you're
an archeologist?

George, please, that makes me feel
like a geezer with a compass.

I prefer fortune hunter, adventurer,
or my personal favorite,

Lila's ex-husband.

Ex, it's no problem.

But I'm here
to win her back.

You know what? You've
been alone this long.

How about, you know,
like, a puppy?

And the man stepped
in between them.

And the course of true
love for one of our own

may have forever been
altered by this schifosa.

Why do you
come to us now?

On this, the day
of our bake sale?

Well, 'cause this just happened,
like, five minutes ago.

Okay. What do you need?

I need for you to
do me this favor.

(SLURPING)

You need me to
do you this favor?

You never invited me
into your home.

You never invited me
for a cup of coffee.

Yes, I know. And
for this I am sorry.

But we must
help Feeny,

but he mustn't know
that it is us.

This is the biggest job we've
ever attempted to pull off.

I come to you with
my hat in my hand...

It's my hat.
It's my hand.

Are you in,
or are you out?

Eric, we're flattered
you've come to us.

But look around.
We're legitimate now.

We're in the bake
sale business.

Guys, it's Feeny.
He's family.

This may be his
one chance at true love.

Eric, I just spent 68 bucks
traveling around this country.

I learned a few
things about life.

Why don't you tell him
what you learned, Shawn.

(WHISPERING)
I love this part.

I learned to be
at peace with myself.

I like looking
over my shoulder

and not worrying about
who's coming after me.

These schemes and capers I used to
hatch, they only lead to despair.

That's what I learned.

I also learned never
to park a trailer

across a railroad track
when that thing is down.

Besides, Eric, I hit
a teacher, remember?

Yes.

The dean put me
on probation.

I do one thing wrong,
I'm outta here.

Don't you think that Feeny
can take care of himself?

I'm ashamed.

I am ashamed to call you
guys my brother and Shawn.

He ate the paper.

(EXHALES)

What's the matter?

Jack, you know,
I really love this.

But have you noticed
that this is all we do?

Yeah. Isn't it great?

Yeah, yeah, it is great, Jack.
But I want more.

Oh, thank you!

Well, more is
right this way.

Oh, Jack, no,
I mean,

I want us to be a couple.
We are a couple.

I want to go out, Jack.

We haven't gone out since
we've become a couple.

I mean, why don't
we ever go anywhere?

We go plenty of places.

First we went there,
then we went there,

and now we're gonna
go up there.

Jack, I wanna be with people.
I wanna go dancing.

Uh... Um, let's go
to the movies.

The movies are dark,
and no one will see us,

and I wanna show you off.

I wanna go dancing, Jack.

You can dance, right?
Yeah, I can dance.

Great, then we'll go
dancing tomorrow night.

Oh, Jack, this is going
to be so much fun!

I can't wait.

So, I jump off the cliff,

grab hold of
a big old branch,

jungle-gym to the river,

and never saw Chief Yakazo's
ugly mug again.

And the cursed ruby
of the Tzang-Kwai

now resides in the Turkish
Museum of Natural History

diagonally across from
the Hard Rock Cafe. The end!

(ALL APPLAUDING)

Wow.
Wow.

Hey, whose side
are you on?

Well, thank you, Dr. Kincaid,
for that, uh, vivid story,

which provides us with
a perfect transition

into today's assignment,

where on neighboring Crete

we will find
Sir Arthur Evans

excavating at Minoan Knossos,
beginning in 1899.

(COUGHS) You're dying.
Do something.

We will read what Evans was
most interested in excavating

and the effect it had on
archeology in the 20th century.

Ponderous, man,
ponderous.

George is a fine
educator, Curtis.

Sorry, but when you've had
these experiences firsthand,

it's a little hard to get
excited about reading a book.

But I suppose reading is a lot safer
than actually doing something.

I feel as though this gentleman
may require our attention.

Perhaps a lesson
in humility.

Something big.

Something spectacular.

But let's not get caught like
all the other times, okay?

Okay.

(LAUGHS) Shawnie, of all
the plans we've concocted,

this is the best one.

And we have concocted
some doozies.

And Feeny always
caught us.

Yeah, he always
had us figured out.

But we're in college now.
We're older, we're wiser.

You think he's up
to the challenge?

It's us against him,
living on the edge, babe.

I like when you
call me babe.

All right. So, Eric said this
guy Curtis stored all the stuff

from his last dig here
in the science lab.

Yeah, he's supposedly
got something

that's gonna alter the course
of the new millennium.

Are we ready to execute phase
one of our master plan?

Ready. Let's mess
this place up.

You know, Shawnie,
I honestly don't see

how anything could
be simpler.

This is child's play.

What's this, a brain?

That's gotta be
his discovery.

He's discovered the
world's first brain.

This gets out, Feeny'll
never get the dean.

You could get any woman with
the world's first brain.

Could I get Topanga?

Yeah, I think you could.

Whoo-hoo!

Whoa, whoa, hey.

That jar's been closed
for 5,000 years.

You know, this must be
the world's first jar.

How do I get
this thing open?

Well, here, here. Hand me
the rare Phoenician mallet.

No, no, no, no, that's an
early Egyptian dental tool.

There we go.

Phoenician piece
of crap.

Shawn, you broke it. That's
not part of the plan.

I'll replace it.
I see them all the time

at Bed, Bath
and Phoenician.

Here, hand me the Byzantine
statue of King Hafaratu.

Home Shopping Channel. There's
six billion of them left.

(GRUNTING)

Wow, the human brain.

The thing that separates
us from the animals.

'Cause they would
have an animal brain.

Yeah.

I hold in my hands the
pinnacle of God's creation.

Think fast!

You want personality
or motor skills?

Energy can be emitted
or absorbed by matter,

but only in small, discreet
units called quanta.

Feeny, stop hiding
behind your books!

Also fundamental to the
development of quantum physics

was the uncertainty
principle.

Oh, Feeny,
you're in pain.

Eric, you're not
even in this class.

But someone who
is perfectly fine

does not let some world-famous
super-duper explorer guy

who's five times the man you'll ever
be, swoop in and take your booty.

She is not my booty!

And if she was my booty,

I would prefer not
to talk about my booty

in front of
the entire class.

Look, come on, Feeny.
Everybody knows.

No one knows.

I have behaved in a manner
befitting a man of my station.

Word salad, Feeny.

Okay, who here knows
who Feeny loves?

ALL: The dean!

All right,
everybody out.

We're just rooting
for you, Mr. Feeny.

Why won't you
make your move?

Eric, in a world that
is not run by savages,

there is such
a thing as decorum.

Now, decorum would suggest

that a gentleman allow
a lady to resolve

an old relationship

before he engages her
in a new one.

Yes, but, see, you're already
in a new relationship!

You're in
a triangle, Feeny,

and take it from somebody who's
been in a triangle before,

he who hesitates
is lost.

(GASPS) Rachel!

I'm okay, I'm okay.

I'm fine.
I'm just like you.

Oh, dear, I don't
want to be like you.

(SOBBING)

Cory, look what
you did.

You had a perfectly good
world's first brain,

and now look at it.

I'm sorry.

Well, well, here. Just, like,
smoosh it back together

and put it back
in the jar.

I will.

You know what, I better
hide this because...

Uh-oh.

Oh, you broke
another jar.

Wonder what was
in that one?

(BEE BUZZING)

CORY: Whoa!
Whoa.

That is one angry bee.

All right, forget the bee.
On to phase two.

Yeah. How about we open
a window for some air?

Wait a minute, Shawn, won't opening
a window set off an alarm?

(ALARM RINGING)

Oh, man. We never
learn anything, do we?

No, and now the teacher from next
door's gonna hear that alarm.

And he's gonna come
in here all mad.

And I wonder who
that teacher's gonna be?

BOTH: Oh, no.
It's Feeny.

What's going on in here?

Nothing.

We didn't break
this stuff.

Well, who did?

You did!
And we're telling!

Hey!

Hmm! Come on out, Jack.

I wanna see
how good you look.

How ya doing?

Okay, something's different.

Yeah, and we're
going out.

Let's go. Hey, hey.

Oh, wait a second.
You're tall.

Yeah. So are you.
Let's go.

No, I mean, I'm looking
straight ahead,

and suddenly you're
in my field of vision.

What did you do?

Well, I'm
standing up straight.

You know me,
I'm a schlump.

I'm a real, uh,
down-looker.

Well, let's go.
Hey, hey.

What is on your feet?

My dancing shoes.

Oh, I can't believe this. Jack,
you bought elevator shoes.

They're not elevator shoes.

The guy never called
them elevator shoes.

Oh, what did
he call them?

"Manly step-ups."

Oh, Jack!
What?

I can't believe this. That's why
you didn't want to go out with me,

because you're too embarrassed
to be seen with me

'cause I'm so tall.

What are you
talking about?

My whole life I've been the
tall one, the bean pole.

I never thought that.

"Hey, stilts, how's
the weather up there?"

You know, you're crazy. You know why
I didn't want to go out with you?

'Cause I thought they'd say,

"Hey, look at the model
with that shrimp."

What are you
talking about?

You've never been
worried about this

before when
we've been out.

Yeah, but we've only
been out as friends.

I never really thought about
this until we got together.

You know what,
to be honest,

I never thought you'd
be interested in me.

(SIGHS) Well, I am
interested in you, Jack,

but not in those.

You know what? I would
love to go dancing.

Really? You mean,
in front of everybody?

Yes, in front of
the whole world.

All right,
let's dance.

Oh, Jack.

Come on.
Okay.

How you doing?

She's too
tall for you.

George!

What?

This? I didn't do this.

I didn't believe them
when they told me,

but it's hard to argue
with something

that's right in front
of your face.

Yeah, we're just as
shocked as you are, Dean.

Now, look,
this is insane.

Put the brain down!

What in heaven's name were you
thinking of when you did this?

I didn't do it!
They did it!

Oh!

Mr. Feeny,
we are insulted.

Shawn and I
have been upstairs

selling muffins for
the underprivileged.

They were down here with me.

Topanga, you wouldn't lie
for him. Where was he?

He's been selling
muffins all day.

So was Shawn.

We're legitimate now.

Why did you
do this, George?

Uh, you know
something, Dean,

this was simply
just an act of love

culminating in
an act of vandalism.

It actually happens
all the time.

An act of love?

Was this an act
of love, George?

(MOUTHING)

Yeah.

Yep.

All right,
nobody move.

Where's my bee?

Bee? What bee?

My bee,
it's my discovery.

Uh-oh.

It's an African killer bee. I've
been searching for it for years.

(LAUGHS) Curtis, you've been
out of town a little too long.

Those African killer bees are
swarming all over the country.

They're due in Philly
next Tuesday.

This bee has a reverse
migration pattern.

We mate that species with the
killer bees that are already here,

they start migrating back
where they originated from,

saving thousands of
lives. I could be rich!

(BEE BUZZING)

It's the bee!

Everybody relax!
I'll kill it.

No! Don't touch
that bee.

Oh, Curtis, no.

The statue of
King Hafaratu

you gave me for our
anniversary, it's broken.

The hell
with the statue.

This stuff is nothing but
junk compared to that bee.

This is junk?

Shh! Don't move.

The bee's on you.

Oh, Curtis, you know
I'm allergic to bees.

So you puff up
for a little while.

This is my Nobel Prize.

I don't
think so, Curtis.

Ooh!

Ow!

I think this
belongs to you.

I'll return the stinger as soon as
it works its way out of my flesh.

No, no, no, no.
Don't die. Don't die!

Quick! Where's
the zoology department?

Oh, God!

Ha! That guy's
a dope, man.

George, that's the most wonderful
thing anybody's ever done for me.

I wouldn't let anything
harm you, Lila.

I hope you feel
the same way about me.

(SIGHS) What took you
so long, George?

Kiss her, Feeny.

All right.

Yeah!
Whoo!

Now, this is
a beautiful moment.

What's even more beautiful,
it's the first time

we've ever gotten away with
anything in our lives.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

We've washed
734 windows so far.

How did this blow up
in our face?

I don't know. We
had Feeny scammed.

Yeah, Feeny
was nothing,

but his chick
is tough.

Ouch.
Ooh.

Oh, does it
still hurt?

A little.

You want me to...

Oh, please.

All better.

I want to thank you again
for going easy on the boys.

Oh. George, one of the reasons
I was attracted to you

was because I've never seen
a teacher whose students

were willing to go to such
lengths to see him happy.

You never actually thought
I was the perpetrator?

Oh, I have no doubt that you're capable
of acting with reckless abandon.

Oh, I am, I am.

Hey! Well, this is
great, isn't it?

I mean, you love him, he
loves you, I love you both.

We're a triangle.

Now, um, Dean, there's
something you should know.

Feeny and I like to
hang out quite a bit,

so, if I'm ever around and you guys are
getting (MURMURS SUGGESTIVELY) frisky,

or whatever it is
that you guys do,

I'm gonna need
some kind of a signal

to know that it's my
time... This'll work.

I don't know
what I was thinking.

We are perfect for each other.
Perfect.

Hi, Mrs. Bertelson.

She's too tall for you.

Jack, stop, stop!
Okay, okay, okay.

Jack, look, look,
look, look, look.

You said you weren't gonna
let this bother you, okay?

It's no problem.
I'm okay.

Okay, great.

I hope the cable breaks,
Mrs. Bertelson!

Jack, why don't we go
inside and make us snuggly.

Yes. I'm not
too short for that.

I know.

JACK: Hey. Hey!

Come any closer
and I'll club ya.

She's too tall
for you.

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