All language subtitles for Boy Meets World s06e03 Aint College Great.eng

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

Hey, hey, you in college?
I'm in college. Woo-hoo!

College!

College!

Cor, Cor, Cor,
calm down, okay?

Nobody knows us yet.

I don't want to be immediately
established as the "woo-hoo" boys.

Okay, okay.

This is us.

Wait, Shawn. We can't
just go in this room.

I mean, this is big. You
can't just open this door.

Cor, we're not in high school anymore.
That crap just has to stop.

(EXCLAIMS IN AWE)

It's so beautiful.

No. No. "Beautiful" is not
a strong enough word.

A better word is,
like, sucks.

Give me a spoon. I'm digging
a tunnel right now.

Wow.

What's the matter?

You brought pudding
to college!

Hey, I got one for you.

No. Shh. Shh. Shh.
Listen to me.

No pudding.
No woo-hooing. Okay?

You're right. You're right.
We're in college now, fellow.

This is a chance to
reinvent ourselves, right?

We can be
anything we want.

No. No reinvention, okay? You can be
yourself, just without the pudding.

Because I swear
on my mother,

wherever the hell
she is,

if I get to be known as
pudding boy's best friend,

I will kill you.

You can't ruin
my mood, Shawn.

Hey, Cory.

I think when you bolted from the
car yelling, "College, college,"

I think you
forgot something.

My pudding trunk.

This is exciting,
isn't it, Cor?

My little boy
in college.

Gone for four years.

Boy!

Well...

(CLEARS THROAT)

Well, hey, thanks for
raising me. See you.

Yeah, come on, guys,
let's go. Time is money.

See you
in four years.

I'll miss you, Morgan.

That's not fair.

Oh.

Oh...

Come here.

Shawn?

Ah, sure. Why not?

ALAN: Oh, yeah.

Oh, Alan, I'm gonna
miss my baby boy.

Mom, you didn't get
like this for Eric.

He doesn't know
we're here, does he?

Uh, let's get out of here.

Shawnie, we're here.
We're in college.

Yeah. Yeah,
it is pretty cool.

Hey, look, Angela, I found
us some college guys.

She means us.
Ah!

Well, the four of us
are here at Pennbrook.

Well, let's check it out.

(SIGHS)

(SOFTLY) Cory, remember,
we're in college now.

Nobody knows us.
Be cool.

Right, yeah.

Okay, look, we got
hallways, rooms,

and co-ed bathroom.

Oh, see, Shawny?

In college, girls
are not called girls.

They are called "Co-eds."

Boy, is she butch.

Cory, the bathroom
is for men and women.

Both?
At the same time.

Just like on
Ally McBeal.

(MOCKINGLY) "Just
like on Ally McBeal."

Let her go
in there!

Cory, it's no big deal.

I'm going in.

Aw, come on.

I just got comfortable
going in front of guys!

Registration.

Here is where we
make the decisions

that will determine
who we are

and what we know

for the rest
of our lives.

Oh, shut up.
Cory, we're freshman.

There's really no big
decision to make here.

It's anything that says
"101" or "Intro to."

Sure, if you wanna
go the safe way.

Here we go.
You see...

I was studying my course
guide last night.

Now, the old Cory would've gone down
that road of safe and easy courses,

but I refuse to be
trampled by the masses

registering for a little
course I like to call

"Introduction
to mediocrity."

You done?
Yeah.

Good.
Okay.

Cattle.

This looks good.

Hey, come on,
we gotta get going.

Yeah, let's
get going, Rachel.

(SOBBING)

Idiot!
You made her cry.

"Rachel." That's what my
boyfriend used to call me.

What?

Hey, come on, there's
gonna be plenty of time

for that stroll-down-
memory-lane later there, babe.

I got to get there before Hooked
on Phonics gets filled up.

Eric, come on, man.
Can't you see she's upset?

Obviously, I don't have
your power of perception.

What?

Everything!

Okay. That's good. It's out.
Everything's out.

Move, move, move.
Let's go.

I just don't know
what I'm doing here.

I mean, we had plans. We
were gonna live together.

We were gonna go
to college together.

We were gonna
get a doggy.

I know. Feels like your whole world
is turned upside down, right?

School's about
to start.

You're living with two guys you don't
really even know in some strange town.

Everything's just kind of
hitting you at once, right?

You know, Jack, that
is exactly how I feel.

Oh, you are
so sensitive.

Oh, thanks.

I just wish
I had some way

to pull myself
out of this, you know?

I've got the perfect thing.

Eric, this is
not the time.

Nonsense, Jack. It's
always the time for...

(GASPS)

(SINGING
LITTLE CABIN IN THE WOODS)

Eric!

(BOTH SINGING)

Come on, Jack!

No!

(BOTH CONTINUE SINGING)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Oh, you are
so much fun.

Yay, me.

And you are so caring.

Boy, you know what?

If you two were one guy, I
would be in real trouble.

(LAUGHS)

Huh!

"One guy."

No.

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

You're already
done registering?

Yeah. I registered,

I got my books,

and I bought each of us
a Pennbrook sweatshirt.

Huh?

Go, penguins!

Don't ever do that.

"Quantum physics,

"Theoretical calculus,

"Inorganic chemistry,

"Forensic pathology?"

Is this your son,
Mr. Johnson?

Oh, Cory, Cory, Cory,
how do I put this delicately?

Could you be
a bigger moron?

Why would you
ask me that? Why?

Because your college career
is over before it starts.

(LAUGHS) Somebody's jealous.

Cory, you've taken on
an impossible load

that will eventually
crush you to death.

I know, but I figure we'll have ten
or 12 good years together first.

(LAUGHS)
That's a good...

All I wanted you to do
is stop with the pudding.

What is this? Do you even
know what quantum physics is?

Um, hi. That's what
they're gonna teach me.

If I knew what
quantum physics was,

I would've tooken quantum
physics 2, now, wouldn't I?

Have you looked at this?
It's gibberish.

It's not gibberish.
You're gibberish.

It's new and exciting,
just like me.

So nuts to you, you jerks.

Uh, excuse me there,
Professor.

Um, my friends
seem to think

that I've taken on an impossible
load with quantum physics

and that I'm gonna have some trouble
understanding the course material.

Well, I could give you
a brief synopsis,

and you can decide
for yourself.

On the first day,
we start off with...

(TALKING GIBBERISH)

And then we focus on...

(CONTINUES TALKING GIBBERISH)

(BOTH TALKING GIBBERISH)

Excuse me.
We have a staff meeting.

Everything's fine.
(CHUCKLES)

And I know that this is not
about quantum physics.

It was just
my nervous psyche

that heard
the professor say...

(TALKING GIBBERISH)

And that doesn't scare
me for two seconds,

but is there any way
that you could possibly

get me out of every course that
I signed up for this year?

You're feeling
overwhelmed?

Yes.

Well, you are not alone
in feeling that, son.

Yeah, I'm...

I'm just worried that I
can't drop these courses

and that, you know, I've ruined
my entire life in one day.

Nonsense. You can drop
any course you want,

and you can pick up
any course that's open.

(SIGHS)

Good. I want
everything 101

or anything that starts
with "Introduction to."

Oh. Those are gone.

Yes, um, I know
that they're gone,

but I told you,
I made a terrible mistake.

Now, will you
please fix it?

Oh, you want me to fix this?

Well, I can't do that.

What do you mean?

I mean those
courses are closed.

I know that they're closed,
but I told you,

I made a terrible mistake. I accept
full responsibility for that.

Now, will you
please help me?

Son, did you know that one
in three new students

won't make it through
their freshman year?

Why are you
telling me that?

Because college isn't
for everyone, son.

And if you find just simple
course selection so overwhelming,

well, perhaps you need to
consider if it's for you.

Look, you're
my guidance counselor.

I get into trouble,
and you guide me out.

That's gonna be
our relationship, yes?

This is college.
The real world.

The relationship you're talking about?
It doesn't exist here.

I'm sorry.

Buh-bye.

You lied to me.

You filled me with
all this education.

But you never
prepared me for life.

I'm sorry.
Have we met?

You failed me, Mr. Feeny.

Several times,
I believe.

You didn't prepare me
for college.

You didn't prepare me
for life.

I'm in way over my head, and I
have no idea how I got there.

It's good to see you,
Mr. Matthews.

It's good to see you, Mr. Feeny.
That's a nice hat.

Anybody know
you're here?

You mean does anyone know I screwed
up college on my first day

and flew to Wyoming
on my air miles?

Air miles? Where
did you get those?

Pudding labels, baby.
Got me to Omaha.

Bused in from there.

I met a Native American
and a militia guy.

"Casinos good.
Government bad."

So. How's, uh...
How's retirement going?

Oh, well, I'm having
a wonderful time.

Yeah? Well, what's so great?
Tell me about your day.

Well, after spending 40
years as a schoolteacher

setting my alarm
to wake up with the sun,

I now wake up
whenever I want to.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

And then I have a big breakfast
with some of the boys.

You got boys?

I do.

And then we do whatever
our hearts desire.

For example, today,
we decided to go fishing.

Fishing?
Mmm-hmm.

All day. This is all... That's all
you do all day, is just fish?

Well, there's more
to it than just fish.

I mean,
we swap stories,

enjoy the outdoors,

and more importantly,
each other's company.

I had a company once,
until my son-in-law stole it.

Easy, Ned. You'll blow
your pacemaker.

So, basically,
Mr. Feeny,

if I'm understanding
this correctly,

you guys, you do
absolutely nothing.

I wouldn't
characterize it...

No, he's got it.

No pressures,
no commitments,

no decisions, and no way to
screw up anything at all.

Cory, perhaps you'd be good
enough to explain to me

why you traveled
all this distance

just to insult me.

Insult you?
George, I envy you!

I mean, this is the next best
thing to being in a coma!

Huh?

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(DOOR CLOSES)

Oh, it's you. Get lost.

What are you doing?

Hey, shut your cake hole, Irene.
I'm sensitive, all right?

Rachel's gonna
come back here.

She's gonna see how sensitive
I am, know that I'm all man

and not half-man
like your sorry tushy.

Congratulations, man. You're
officially in the Idiot Hall of Fame.

That hurts me,
but I understand

where it's coming from,
and it's okay.

Eric, you're trying to change who you
are just to get her to like you.

She's gonna see right
through that, man.

No, she's not. She's gonna
come back and fall for me

and fall deep into my
trap of sensitivity.

All right.
As your friend,

I'm begging you not to make
a fool out of yourself.

All right.
As a friend,

I'm begging you not to make
a fool out of yourself.

Huh? How was that, man?

It's like looking
in a mirror, huh?

It's Face Off!

(IMITATES LASER WHIRRING)

Eric, Jack. Jack, Eric. You don't
even know who you are anymore.

Hey, guys.

(MIMICS SOBBING)
Hello, Rachel.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS)

Eric, what's the matter?

It's the children.
It's the children.

The children?
What children?

All of them. They're so little.
You just...

Please don't
make me go on.

'Cause the world is
a melancholy place

where human
relationships

must rise
to the forefront

of our too brief
experience

on this insignificant
swirling blue orb,

until we're extinguished
like a flickering flame.

Ow! That hot.

(SCOFFING)

Oh, Eric, that is the most
sensitive thing I've ever heard.

Would you go with me
to do laundry?

What?

I'm sorry, Jack. I need
to be alone with Eric.

You do?
She do!

I feel your pain, buddy, I
do, but get outta my way.

We've got to attend
to the delicates.

Yes, we do.

She's gonna see right through
me, though, isn't she?

(LAUGHS) Dude,
this is her bra!

Get...

Nice day,
huh, Walter?

Yep.

Who's up
for a movie?

Hmm?

That's a pretty
good idea, George.

Uh-huh!

Why don't we wait
till it rains?

Why can't we
do it now?

Well, we're fishing now.

Fish are really jumping.

No, they're not. I haven't seen
a fish since I've been here.

Take it easy, George.

We've got the rest of our
lives to catch a fish.

Walter makes an awful
lot of sense, George.

No, he doesn't. And his
name is not Walter.

It's Cory.

Cory is too young
a name to be here.

Cory's too young
to be here.

I'm too young
to be here.

(LAUGHS)
Good one, George.

Look, Mr. Matthews, I have
indulged your little fantasy

for a weekend hoping that you
would come to your senses,

but obviously, no one here
comes to their senses.

Now, don't insult
our way of life, George.

I'm sorry, Ned. I'm just not
ready for your way of life.

We'll miss you, George.

Back to school, Walter.

You know, Rachel, I'm glad you
noticed the sensitive side of me

as well as the
devil-may-care side.

You have it all, Eric.
Everything a girl could want.

(STUTTERS) Thank you.

Uh, why'd you
lock the door?

Well, if it was open, then somebody
could come in, couldn't they?

And then they'd take
all the best machines.

That's good thinking
there, Rach.

(LAUGHING) No, no, no, silly.
See, I brought you here

because I've never found you more
attractive than I do right now.

(GRUNTS)
Whee!

I am so hot.

Are you?

Yeah. I'm hot.
This dryer's on fluff.

So am I.

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Rachel, what are you doing?
This shirt's clean.

I know. I just wanted it
smushed up a little bit.

Oh, smushing's good. I like smushing.
I think...

No. No. No, no, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Rachel, this is wrong.

Oh, come on. What's the matter, Eric?
Don't you want me?

Yeah, yeah.

But not in the laundry room.

I mean, I always figured
that if we ever did do this,

it would be in some
romantic fleabag motel.

Hey, if you went to all the trouble
to be the perfect man for me,

then the least I could do is
be the perfect woman for you.

This isn't you.

I don't like this you.

You don't?

Then what do you
want me to be?

Sensitive? Funny? A brunette?

I just want you
to be yourself!

I mean, if you're not
yourself, then what are you?

Somebody else.

Right. And if you want to be
in a relationship with me,

then I want you to be
there, not somebody...

Oh, I get it.

And I want you to be the funny,
wonderful person you are.

'Cause that's
how I like you.

Promise me you're
not gonna change, okay?

(SCOFFS)

'Kay.

One condition.

Okay, anything.

Put me back
on the dryer.

Okay.
Whoo!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

I understand you've dedicated
your life to teaching, Mr. Feeny.

But that was at the high school level.
This is college.

As I understand it,
high school serves

to prepare you for college.
Am I correct?

Well, there are
5,000 incoming freshmen

who were able to register correctly.
He wasn't.

Perhaps he wasn't
adequately prepared.

You know something, Myron?

Out of all my nephews,
I hate you the most.

Come on, Cory.

There's nothing
to be done here.

Mother will be calling you.

Mr. Feeny, I'm sorry.

I feel like I failed you.

I guess I didn't prepare
you as well as I should.

Maybe it's just
as well I retired.

No. No. No.
Mr. Feeny. The things...

The most important things
that I learned from you

have nothing to do
with the courses

that I'm taking here
in college, anyway.

Really?

Yeah. I mean...
What I learned from you

was mostly about life
and how to make friends

and how to help and support
the people you care about.

That's what you
taught all of us.

How you doing,
Mr. Feeny?

Howdy.

Thank you for bringing
my Walter home.

Hi.

Listen, I'd love to chat,
but Mr. Feeny and I,

we gotta start
studying for quantum...

Whatever it is
I signed up for.

Here.

What's this?

It's your schedule. You
have two classes with me

and three with Shawn.

I figured you'd
want it that way.

I don't get it.
How'd you do this?

Well, we each signed up
for an extra class...

And then
we dropped one...

And signed
you up instead.

And then we got your books and
returned them for the right ones.

You did? How'd you
know to do this?

Hey. We had the
same teacher you did.

So I'm ready to
start college now?

I think you are,
Mr. Matthews.

I think you all are.

Now, you promise me you're not
gonna change who you are?

You like me
like I am?

Very much.

I do have a sensitive
side, you know.

I know. Can I have
my bra back, please?

Nope.

You see?
You are funny.

And nobody should
change the way they are.

(SQUEAKING)

(HONKING HORN)

Laundry room?
Yeah, laundry room.

Come on, Jack.

I'm going to
the laundry room.

Next time, ask before
you borrow my bike!

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