All language subtitles for Bored To Death s02e08 Super Ray Is Mortal.eng

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

So what do you have to do today?

You want to spend it in bed?

I'd love to, but I can't.

I've got my Midwood College interview.

- I'm nervous about it.
- I'd hire you.

I think you were a great teacher.

I've got to say, Nina,
last night was incredible.

- It was an amazing first date.
- I know.

When I get going
I'm like a bee's nest.

- So you think I should move in?
- What?

Well, I'm going to be kicked out of my room
in Bushwick in a few days

and, um, I lost my job.

I might have to move back to Portland
to be with my parents.

You'd leave New York?

But we just met.
We had such a great night.

I know.
That's why I think I should move in.

I already know I want to be with you
every night.

Also, I'm going to be homeless.

God, Nina, this is so sudden.
Um...

do I have a little time to think about this--
your moving in?

Sure.

Is two days enough time?

I guess.

I'm sorry. One second.

- Hello?
- You gotta get over here right now.

I'm having a crisis and an emergency.

Right now? I'm sort of in the middle
of someone-- uh, something.

Yes, right now.
I need you, okay?

I'll be over there in five minutes,
10, 15...

Hello? God damn it.
He always hangs up on me.

As you know, George, we're all very happy
you don't have cancer.

It's just wonderful.
I'm so relieved.

- Thank you.
- But since it was a false alarm,

we do need to do something
about that failed drug test.

But that marijuana
was for my cancer.

Cancer
that you didn't have, George.

Yes, but I didn't know that
at the time.

George, please.

We're going to have you evaluated

by our substance abuse expert.

- Oh!
- He will determine a course of treatment.

It'll either be rehab in Arizona

or an outpatient treatment
here in New York.

Kathryn, this is ridiculous.

Rehab?
What about a-- a-- a sanitarium?

I would do that.
You know, it's more romantic.

It's more Zelda Fitzgerald.
But rehab?

Going to rehab
is company protocol.

We can't make exceptions.

All right, all right, all right.

What if I promised that
I would just quit, go cold turkey?

I wouldn't believe you.

My stalker sent me 12 e-mails
last night, all of them rude.

And this was left downstairs
in the vestibule this morning!

Oh man, this is really creepy.

There's some sort of a blade
sticking out of your shoulder.

It is a nib of an X-Acto knife.

A nib?
I like that word.

- Nib. Nib. Nib.
- Jonathan!

This is serious!
This is some kind of sick voodoo doll.

We gotta confront this guy.
He was right here in my building.

- Oh shit.
- What?

He gave Super Ray
a beautiful vagina.

Your stalker is a really
talented seamstress-- but no anus.

Give me this!

I'm really sorry about this, Ray.

Who do you think it could be?

I don't know.
Kevin Bacon?

He was weird when I met him.

No, I don't think a celebrity
would do such a thing.

Maybe there's a clue
in the e-mails.

- What's this?
- That's my Super Ray outfit.

I was going to wear it tonight
at the Brooklyn Comic Con.

- I thought my fans would like it.
- God, it's strange

that you should make
a Super Ray outfit

and your stalker
should make a Super Ray doll.

It's like when there were
two Truman Capote movies.

This is nothing like that!

We have to find this guy.
Will you concentrate on that, please?

I think we need outside help.

I have a source who owes me.

It's time I collected.

So...

this was left on your door
at your house?

Yes. And there was a nib
of an X-Acto knife in the shoulder,

but it fell out
when I threw the thing.

- A nib?
- You can see why we're concerned.

Yes yes.

Do you think that this guy
could make me one?

Okay, it's a doll
with a police uniform--

one of these underneath,

you know, all secret?

This isn't some friend of ours
that custom-makes voodoo dolls!

This is a deranged stalker!

Officer Drake, please!
We need you to focus.

I'm so sorry, fellas.
I really am.

You know I have issues.
I just-- sorry.

Is there any way you can track down
who sent these e-mails?

Well, I mean, anybody can open up
a Hotmail account. It's very easy.

But there is, uh, the same unique
IP address on all of these.

You could run a trace

and then you can get a location
on the computer.

Great. That's what we need.
Thank you!

Whoa! Hey!
I-- I can't help you, Jonathan.

I would love to,
but I could lose my job.

- I can't do that.
- Office Drake, there were complications

involved in your case
that I never told you about.

But I went to great lengths for you,
as did Ray.

Yeah, it's because of you
I got shot in the head,

then I had to go New Jersey
and have breakfast with Jonathan's parents.

- Oh God. That's awful.
- There's also the matter of my fee.

Oh, I really-- I keep meaning to pay you.
It's just that every time I--

Do this for me,
and your debt will be canceled.

And you can keep the doll.

- Really?
- Yes.

All right.

Wait here.
I'll be right back.

Cops.
Unbelievable.

If he sticks a pencil up my twat

and I feel it,
I'm gonna regret this.

I knew Officer Drake
would come through for us.

This must be it.

Great, it's a public computer.
Anybody could have used it.

I don't think so.
Look-- "For patrons only."

- He must be a patron.
- Oh yeah, you're right.

Nobody disobeys
a handwritten sign.

How much money
do you have on you?

A lot. The comic book's
selling like crazy.

Good.

We just need to rewind this tape
to the time the last e-mail was sent

and we should be able to get
a good look at our guy.

1:12 a.m.
And look, there he is!

Damn.
We can't see his face.

- Do you recognize this guy?
- I recognize his hat.

He wears it all the time.
He's a guest here.

What's his name
and what room is he in?

- Make it 40?
- Don't push it, clerk.

John Doe-Smith,
are you in there?

I can't believe
he has such a weak alias.

I know. The voodoo puppet
showed a lot of creativity,

but his fake name
is definitely lacking.

Though hyphenating Doe-Smith
is sort of interesting.

Anybody home?

Any stalkers?

Oh my God.

He's practically wallpapered this place
with "Super Ray" comics.

He must have bought
10 copies.

It's like you have
your own serial killer.

At least he helped the sales.

You know, Ray, I do have
my Midwood College interview at 5:00,

but we could probably
stake this place out for a little while,

wait and see if he shows up
and then confront him.

Okay.

Do you think it's safe
to eat my stalker's food?

Is it open? If it's open I don't think
we want contact with his germs.

It's not open.
And it's organic.

Then it's probably safe.

So before I begin the evaluation,
Mr. Christopher,

I just want you to know
I'm a big fan.

I read your "By George"
column for years.

Really?
Well, thank you.

Anyway, um,

from your test results,
Mr. Christopher,

it appears your drug of choice
is marijuana.

- Is that correct?
- It's my first choice, yes.

So what does
marijuana give you?

Well, I become more aware
of how beautiful everything is.

And what does marijuana
take away from you, Mr. Christopher?

Off the top of my head,
I'd say boredom, loneliness, pain.

And are you in pain
because you feel unlovable,

unknowable
and shrouded in secrets?

Yes.

I do feel that way, actually.

I-- I mean I put on
a brave front and all that,

but you know, inside
I tear at myself with claws.

How do you feel here
at the workplace?

Like Moby Dick.

I mean, they stick me
with dozens of harpoons.

So you're clawed
on the inside

and harpooned
on the outside.

- Yeah.
- That's how I feel.

I suppress a lot of anger.

Secretly,
I'm like a tea kettle,

always ready
to scream out in agony.

What do you do about it?

I pray,
and I try to help others,

and I wear a mouth guard
at night.

Oh right, okay.

Well, I've made my diagnosis.

You are a marijuana addict

with narcissistic
personality disorder.

Whoa whoa
whoa whoa whoa.

Why the narcissistic part?

Oh, no no.

No, that was a gift.

So I'm recommending
to your superior

that you do two months
of rehab in Arizona.

What? Two months!
Oh no.

That's not possible!

You said you were a fan!
Come on, cut me a deal!

- A deal?
- Well...

Mr. Christopher,
I'm making my prescription

because I'm a fan.

I don't want you to be
in pain anymore.

Excuse me, Mr. Christopher,

there's something
I really need to show you.

I don't tolerate interruptions
during therapeutic evaluations!

- What is your name?
- Er, what is your name?

It's Steven,
Mr. Christopher.

- With a "V" or a "PH"?
- A "V."

Close your mouth.

Do you think it's crazy
to let Nina move in?

- Yes.
- But the sex was incredible.

It actually felt meaningful.

Then definitely
don't let her move in.

I had meaningful sex
with Leah once a month,

- look what happened to me.
- Right.

- Oh shit, I better leave soon for my interview.
- Shh shh.

Oh, he's making a run for it!

- He's heading for the roof!
- Get him!

He killed himself.

Holy shit.
He knows Parkour.

That's right. Run, you asshole!
I can find you now!

You hear me, you seamstress?
Seamstress.

- What are you doing?
- Anything your stalker can do, I can do!

Stop! No no no no no.
Oh God God.

Ahh!

Jonathan, are you all right?

I twisted my ankle!
He got away.

I'm sorry I let you down!

You're an idiot.

Thanks for understanding.

Ow!

I can't believe this.

I feel a profound revulsion

in my spine,

in my-- in my liver,
in my kidneys,

my gallbladder, in my... uh--

what are some other organs?
I'm so upset, I'm blanking.

- Is-- is the stomach an organ?
- I-I think so.

Right, of course,
of course it is.

I'm-- I'm horrified.

I feel the same way,
Mr. Christopher.

Good boy, good boy.
You know something?

They've been neutering me
for months around here

and I'm not going to take it anymore.
I'm gonna fight back.

Do I, uh--
do I look okay?

Trim and elegant.

Thank you, Walter.
Thank you.

Hello.
I'm Jonathan Ames.

I have an appointment
with Dean Saunders.

You're late.
Have a seat.

- Hello, Jonathan.
- Oh no.

You saw my winning story
in "The New Yorker"?

Oh, you're limping.
That makes me happy.

I'm glad something
makes you happy.

You're not interviewing
for the creative writing job, are you?

Of course I am.
Dean Saunders is a friend.

It seems impossible to fathom,
but is that why you're here?

Yes, Louis,
I'm also applying.

Your proclivity for self-destruction
is morbidly fascinating,

but why do you set yourself up
for failure time and time again?

Shut up, Louis.
Don't talk to me.

Ooh, such anger!
You know, for people like yourself,

there have been amazing
advancements in brain surgery.

A lobotomy is not the mark of shame
it once was.

Snip snip.

- How dare you? Pick it up.
- No, you pick it up.

I will not pick it up, for you
will be the one picking it up.

- No I won't.
- Yes you will.

- No I won't.
- Ow!

I can't believe
you pinched me!

Ugh! Your breath smells
like cat food again.

It's pate,
you stoner Philistine.

We'll be in touch.

Gentlemen.

- Dean Saunders.
- Dean Saunders.

Louis Greene is next, Dean.
He was on time.

- Come in, Louis.
- Sure. Good to see you.

Thank you.
Snip snip.

Oh, this is wonderful.

Kathryn...

I've reached my limit.
This is too much.

It's the final harpoon!

- What? Harpoon?
- Never mind. It doesn't matter.

Look, I just want you
to get on the phone,

call your bosses in Dallas,

and tell them to retract
this garbage immediately!

I can't do that, George.

This-- this cover
is important to them.

They won't bend.
I know it.

They want the magazine
to be more on the Right.

The Right?
But the Right doesn't know what to do!

Nobody in American politics
knows what to do.

Well, that's a very pessimistic
viewpoint, George.

No, it's an intelligent viewpoint--

we're all idiots.

Now let's just stick
with the opera issue as planned

and just drop
this political bullshit, please.

The cover is staying, George.

Fine.
I will call Dallas myself.

Fine. You can if you want to,
but they'll ignore you.

Wow. Um...

then I quit.

The magazine doesn't
need me anymore

and frankly I don't need it.

It's a love affair
that's come to an end.

And I'm going to drink
as much booze

and smoke as much pot
as I want.

Thank you very much!

- George--
- No, Kathryn.

There's no changing my mind.
I am sorry.

No no no, I don't want you to.

I think you're doing
the right thing.

You're not happy here
and I don't blame you.

Right.

So if you'd like,

maybe we could have
dinner sometime.

Now that you're
not working here,

I'd love to get to know you

outside of the office.

There, that's his
illegal ad on craigslist

offering his services
as a private detective.

You know, it wouldn't surprise me
if he was also on there as a prostitute.

This is very unusual, Louis.

It's just the tip
of the iceberg.

I once saw him inhale
an entire bag of cocaine.

- Really?
- That's not true.

Also, if you look at him closely
his forehead is very narrow.

Phrenology-- skull assessment--
has long been a hobby of mine.

In fact, Dean, your skull has
perfect symmetry. Did you know that?

- What are you doing here?
- You shouldn't listen to Greene!

- He hates me!
- This is what I'm talking about. He's unstable.

- I'm not unstable.
- Obviously there was some kind of birth trauma.

Oh, and his novel
was full of typos.

I'm going to kill you, Louis!

- Stay away from me, you subnormal.
- Security.

- Stop!
- Don't point your pointy head at me.

My head is normal, you jerk.

Look at yourself!
You're a carnival freak.

Stay away.

Well, I didn't get the job,
but it was one of the best interviews I ever had.

One of the security guards
slapped Greene

and I felt joy.

I'm happy for you.

Besides, as a writer and detective,
I'm my own boss.

No one can tell me what to do,
like some dean.

We're both our own bosses now.

You know, without "Edition,"
I can do anything I want.

I can open a restaurant.
I can start an internet magazine.

I mean, hell, I could finally
go to Tangiers and smoke hashish.

You can come too
if you like.

I'd love to.

Am I overdressed?

I am so proud of our Ray.

Yeah, it's incredible.

I think people are responding
so strongly to the comic

because it's all about his love for Leah
and wanting to win her back.

I agree.
It has a beautiful message.

I just want you to know
that your comic really helped me.

So thank you.

You're welcome.

George, you remember
that girl from my class, Nina?

Yes, the cute blonde.

Yeah well, we've started dating
and she already wants to live with me.

Have you ever let someone move in
right after sleeping with them?

Yes, three times.
Always disastrous.

- So I shouldn't do it?
- Oh no, you should definitely do it.

It could be fun--
until it, you know, falls apart.

There's always a slight chance
it could work, so you know, why not?

Oh my God, look at her.

Whoa.
What a costume.

Yeah, I-I have
to go talk to her.

I've always had this thing
for Wonder Woman.

But I thought you were
into vampires and armpits.

Did you really put your cock on the third rail
to get your superpowers?

Of course I did.

Should I try it?

Yes, but, uh,
wait until you're 21.

All right.
Thank you.

Oh no!
An X-Acto knife.

- Excuse me, excuse me.
- Hey, watch it!

Hey!

Ray! Ray!

Ray!
The X-Acto knife!

George! George!
The X-Acto knife!

Stop talking
to Wonder Woman!

Ray, I'm coming!
Excuse me. I'm coming, Ray!

It's an X-Acto knife!
It's an X-Acto knife!

Ow!

Shit!

Nice job, man!

- Good job.
- Thank you.

I'll apply pressure
with my handkerchief!

Irwin?
Why did you do that?

Because of you,
I spent two months at Rikers

and I lost my
rent-controlled apartment!

- How bad is that wound?
- Well, it's a--

oh, Ray,
that's a lot of blood.

Oh, boy.

Call an ambulance!

I was going to tell you guys,
but it was too embarrassing.

I found Irwin

in bed with Leah.

I chased him
out of the house,

but I don't know
how he ended up at Rikers.

Well, the guy
must have cracked.

Rent-controlled apartments
are hard to come by.

I had a beautiful one
in the West Village

on Jane Street for years--
it was like $300 a month.

Nobody gives a shit about your
rent-controlled apartment right now, George.

Sorry.
I'm sorry.

Jonathan.

I want to thank you.

If that guy had stabbed me again,
I wouldn't be here.

Oh my God!
Ray!

Are you all right?

I'm okay.

I've lost a lot of blood.
I got two stitches, but it's nothing.

No no,
it was a lot of blood.

God!
This is all my fault!

Irwin was arrested that night in Park Slope
for indecent exposure.

I never should have
slept with him.

I'm so sorry, Ray.

It's okay.

I can forgive you
anything, Leah.

- Ow! Ow ow ow.
- Sorry sorry!

Let's go.

I love you, Ray.

I love you.

George, do you really
want to go Tangiers together?

Yes, I'd like to.

Or we could go to Brazil,
go up the Amazon.

They have plants you can eat there
that give you visions.

- I'd like a vision.
- Yeah, me too.

I'd like a really good vision.

But what do you
wanna do tonight?

Well, let's get stoned

and get something to eat
in Brooklyn.

It's not the Amazon,
but we can make it lively.

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0