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1
00:00:59,646 --> 00:01:01,565
Sorry to keep you waiting,
Mr. Ames.
2
00:01:01,731 --> 00:01:04,985
I was lancing a neck boil.
The patient was fidgety.
3
00:01:05,152 --> 00:01:07,070
Oh, I understand.
4
00:01:07,237 --> 00:01:12,076
So I've never used
a private detective before.
5
00:01:12,242 --> 00:01:13,702
That's all right.
Most of my clients are virgins.
6
00:01:13,869 --> 00:01:17,164
But I didn't tell you I was a virgin.
You're a very good detective.
7
00:01:17,331 --> 00:01:20,126
Oh, thank you, but I meant that
metaphorically, Dr. O'Connor.
8
00:01:20,292 --> 00:01:23,004
Oh. Well...
9
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:25,631
part of the reason
I need your help
10
00:01:25,798 --> 00:01:27,300
is my virginity.
11
00:01:27,467 --> 00:01:29,385
What exactly
do you need done, Doctor?
12
00:01:29,552 --> 00:01:32,472
I advertise on craigslist,
13
00:01:32,639 --> 00:01:33,640
but I am not involved
in the sex trade.
14
00:01:33,807 --> 00:01:35,809
Sorry, that's not what I meant.
15
00:01:35,975 --> 00:01:39,980
Um, you see I've saved
myself for marriage.
16
00:01:40,146 --> 00:01:42,899
But my fiancee's family is against me.
They block all communication
17
00:01:43,066 --> 00:01:45,819
- so I need you to take a letter to her.
- Why are they against you?
18
00:01:45,986 --> 00:01:49,072
It's complicated, but one
of the reasons is because I'm Irish.
19
00:01:49,239 --> 00:01:52,034
Hmm, that's strange.
The Irish are usually very popular.
20
00:01:52,201 --> 00:01:54,662
I know. It's odd.
21
00:01:54,828 --> 00:01:58,290
Anyway, please deliver
this letter to her
22
00:01:58,457 --> 00:02:00,543
at the Korean spa in Queens--
the Castle, do you know it?
23
00:02:00,710 --> 00:02:03,087
Yes, I've heard it's very good
for birthday parties.
24
00:02:03,254 --> 00:02:05,757
So your fiancee's name is Hee?
25
00:02:05,923 --> 00:02:07,884
Yes, it's a common Korean name.
26
00:02:08,051 --> 00:02:11,429
Her father actually owns the Castle,
but it's our best chance to reach her.
27
00:02:12,972 --> 00:02:14,808
I love her very much.
28
00:02:16,267 --> 00:02:19,062
Okay.
Your letter will be delivered.
29
00:02:19,229 --> 00:02:21,273
Thank you. It's very important.
30
00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:24,693
A ship leaving tomorrow night
needs a doctor and I've taken the position.
31
00:02:24,860 --> 00:02:27,112
- Where is the boat going?
- Argentina.
32
00:02:27,279 --> 00:02:29,615
We'll start a new life there.
33
00:02:29,782 --> 00:02:32,034
Argentina has a high rate
of skin cancer.
34
00:02:32,201 --> 00:02:34,161
It's very good for dermatologists.
35
00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:36,747
- Hmmm.
- Speaking of cancer...
36
00:02:38,082 --> 00:02:40,376
that is a very big mole.
37
00:02:40,543 --> 00:02:42,837
I think we should do a quick biopsy.
38
00:02:43,004 --> 00:02:45,173
I won't remove the whole thing.
Just a sliver.
39
00:02:45,339 --> 00:02:47,341
What? I'm very attached to this mole.
40
00:02:49,010 --> 00:02:50,136
Ow ow.
41
00:02:53,848 --> 00:02:56,768
I appreciate all of you writing
these sealed testimonials.
42
00:02:56,935 --> 00:03:00,438
If I get the Midwood College job,
I've got you guys to thank.
43
00:03:00,605 --> 00:03:02,315
You're welcome, Professor Ames.
44
00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:06,278
Okay. So I thought we'd start tonight
with an exercise--
45
00:03:06,445 --> 00:03:08,822
Wait. Did you read this week's
"New Yorker"?
46
00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:11,367
They announced the winner
for the contest.
47
00:03:11,533 --> 00:03:13,994
What? Already?
Did I-- who-- who won?
48
00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:15,871
Nobody from our great class won.
49
00:03:16,038 --> 00:03:17,706
Someone named Louis Greene won.
50
00:03:17,873 --> 00:03:20,501
Oh no, not Greene.
51
00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:22,295
Can I see that?
I know him.
52
00:03:22,461 --> 00:03:25,089
It's an amazing story.
53
00:03:25,256 --> 00:03:26,799
I read it on the subway.
54
00:03:26,966 --> 00:03:28,885
It's really funny and sexy.
55
00:03:29,052 --> 00:03:30,428
Don't-- don't say that, Nina.
56
00:03:33,223 --> 00:03:34,724
"I knew a failed writer
57
00:03:34,891 --> 00:03:37,185
who was mentally
and emotionally unstable.
58
00:03:37,352 --> 00:03:39,020
He believed that he was a...
59
00:03:39,187 --> 00:03:42,023
private detective.
60
00:03:42,190 --> 00:03:44,818
His skull was oddly pinched
at the top."
61
00:03:44,985 --> 00:03:47,321
Oh my God.
62
00:03:49,198 --> 00:03:51,492
His story is about me.
63
00:03:57,248 --> 00:03:58,958
Jonathan.
64
00:03:59,125 --> 00:04:02,378
You seemed so upset about the story,
I thought I'd come check on you.
65
00:04:02,545 --> 00:04:04,881
Yeah.
66
00:04:05,047 --> 00:04:07,216
What's weird is
he wrote about me
67
00:04:07,383 --> 00:04:09,135
and I wrote about him,
68
00:04:09,302 --> 00:04:12,013
except in my story
I turned him into a femme fatale.
69
00:04:12,180 --> 00:04:13,515
A blonde.
70
00:04:13,681 --> 00:04:17,435
I'd like to be a blonde femme fatale
in one of your stories.
71
00:04:31,033 --> 00:04:32,951
I know we just had
our first kiss and all,
72
00:04:33,118 --> 00:04:35,037
um, but, um...
73
00:04:36,038 --> 00:04:37,748
could we do some role-play?
74
00:04:37,915 --> 00:04:39,917
Role-playing?
75
00:04:40,084 --> 00:04:41,919
Well, I guess.
76
00:04:42,086 --> 00:04:46,132
Well, ever since I read
"The Story of O" when I was 13,
77
00:04:46,299 --> 00:04:49,552
I've really wanted to be spanked
and chastised
78
00:04:49,719 --> 00:04:51,596
by a teacher in a classroom.
79
00:04:53,306 --> 00:04:55,433
- By a teacher like me?
- Yes.
80
00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:58,562
Get behind your desk.
Make it authentic.
81
00:04:59,813 --> 00:05:01,565
Okay.
82
00:05:01,731 --> 00:05:03,942
I do have some experience
with spanking, you know.
83
00:05:04,109 --> 00:05:06,111
Do you want a safety word or--
84
00:05:06,278 --> 00:05:07,946
I won't need one.
85
00:05:13,994 --> 00:05:17,414
Um, you wanted to see me,
Mr. Ames?
86
00:05:17,581 --> 00:05:20,251
Yes, my student.
87
00:05:20,418 --> 00:05:23,421
I notice that you're always
drifting off in class. I--
88
00:05:26,090 --> 00:05:27,967
So now you want me to spank you?
89
00:05:28,134 --> 00:05:30,595
- Don't break character!
- All right, sorry.
90
00:05:33,348 --> 00:05:35,475
Harder. Harder.
91
00:05:37,936 --> 00:05:39,729
Harder! Harder.
92
00:05:39,896 --> 00:05:41,440
- Like that?
- Yes!
93
00:05:41,606 --> 00:05:44,067
- You're very bad at math.
Your homework is late.
94
00:05:44,234 --> 00:05:45,944
Your spelling is awful.
95
00:05:46,111 --> 00:05:48,864
You're a bad girl.
A bad girl, a bad--
96
00:05:49,907 --> 00:05:51,492
I got to lock the school up.
97
00:05:51,658 --> 00:05:53,619
Right, um...
98
00:05:53,786 --> 00:05:56,497
well, we're almost done in here
and we'll be right out.
99
00:06:00,876 --> 00:06:02,295
Oh my God.
100
00:06:02,461 --> 00:06:04,839
- How embarrassing.
- That wasn't embarrassing.
101
00:06:05,006 --> 00:06:07,633
It was just, you know--
too bad he came in.
102
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:11,262
Well, would you like to go back
to my place and keep going?
103
00:06:11,429 --> 00:06:15,058
Oh no.
I don't feel ready.
104
00:06:15,225 --> 00:06:16,977
Let's take it slow.
105
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:21,273
I'll see you next week.
106
00:06:31,033 --> 00:06:33,285
This is a disaster.
I cannot use these letters.
107
00:06:33,452 --> 00:06:35,996
The writing is horrible.
I'll seem like a lousy teacher.
108
00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:37,456
This one is well written,
109
00:06:37,623 --> 00:06:39,834
but it says you make
all the girls in class wet.
110
00:06:40,001 --> 00:06:41,961
Oh yeah, that must be
from Nina.
111
00:06:42,128 --> 00:06:45,173
You know, something started up
with her last night.
112
00:06:45,339 --> 00:06:47,675
She has a teacher fantasy
and so I spanked her.
113
00:06:47,842 --> 00:06:50,845
Good, good for you.
Is that that little blonde minx?
114
00:06:51,012 --> 00:06:53,556
Yeah. She helped me forget
about "The New Yorker" contest.
115
00:06:53,723 --> 00:06:55,725
I'm sorry that jerkoff Greene
beat you out.
116
00:06:55,892 --> 00:06:59,104
Aw, that's all right. I'll just keep writing
my Harry Parker mysteries.
117
00:06:59,271 --> 00:07:01,731
I'm not going to let some sociopath
like Greene get me down.
118
00:07:01,898 --> 00:07:03,692
We have got to watch out
for nuts like that.
119
00:07:03,859 --> 00:07:05,986
A sociopath sent me
three hate letters this week.
120
00:07:06,153 --> 00:07:08,947
Oh, must be George.
121
00:07:09,114 --> 00:07:11,825
Let's go to the Castle,
birthday boy.
122
00:07:12,868 --> 00:07:15,120
So who do you think
sent you these letters?
123
00:07:15,287 --> 00:07:18,249
Uh, some anonymous jerk
who's jealous of my success.
124
00:07:18,416 --> 00:07:20,084
It might be my dad.
125
00:07:20,251 --> 00:07:21,961
Or it could be my sister,
126
00:07:22,128 --> 00:07:24,005
my little cousin Douglas...
127
00:07:26,132 --> 00:07:27,925
Ah, Ray, happy birthday.
128
00:07:28,092 --> 00:07:30,762
Oh, you shouldn't have,
but I'm glad you did.
129
00:07:30,929 --> 00:07:33,848
Well, shall we go to the spa
and get healthy?
130
00:07:34,015 --> 00:07:35,725
We can drink that afterward
131
00:07:35,892 --> 00:07:38,687
and undo everything--
detox and then retox.
132
00:07:38,853 --> 00:07:40,939
- You guys know each other, right?
- Hello, Vikram.
133
00:07:41,106 --> 00:07:42,941
- Hello, Mr. Jonathan.
- Vikram, this is my friend Ray.
134
00:07:43,108 --> 00:07:45,777
- Ray, this is Vikram.
- Hello, Mr. Ray. I read your comic.
135
00:07:45,944 --> 00:07:47,905
- I loved it.
- Oh, thank you.
136
00:07:48,071 --> 00:07:51,742
I nearly lost my wife, so I identified
with the book quite strongly.
137
00:07:51,909 --> 00:07:54,912
I think you drew too many penises,
but I still enjoyed it.
138
00:07:55,079 --> 00:07:56,622
Yeah, come on, come on,
come on.
139
00:07:56,789 --> 00:08:00,960
- Not that many penises.
- Hey, I'm very excited about this Castle place.
140
00:08:01,127 --> 00:08:04,797
I read on the internet
that they have wasabi bodyrubs.
141
00:08:04,964 --> 00:08:08,009
I love sushi. What's the matter?
142
00:08:08,176 --> 00:08:10,219
I told you the car needed a tune-up,
Mr. Christopher,
143
00:08:10,386 --> 00:08:13,306
- but you always procrastinate.
- Why are you always picking on me?
144
00:08:13,473 --> 00:08:15,975
I don't procrastinate.
I just like to do things later.
145
00:08:16,142 --> 00:08:18,770
- George, when did you get a driver?
- I started a few weeks ago.
146
00:08:18,937 --> 00:08:21,106
It's a wonderful job,
but I still want health insurance.
147
00:08:21,273 --> 00:08:23,984
One thing at a time.
148
00:08:24,151 --> 00:08:26,778
- Oh, well done, Vikram.
- Thank you, boss.
149
00:08:44,338 --> 00:08:46,340
You know, I'm not really shy,
150
00:08:46,507 --> 00:08:48,593
but I am glad
there's a robe option.
151
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,179
Yeah, I didn't know this place
was divided by gender.
152
00:08:51,346 --> 00:08:53,473
At the Russian baths
in Manhattan it's coed.
153
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:55,892
Yeah, this is a real
Asian sausage factory.
154
00:08:56,059 --> 00:08:57,769
Really?
It's not just a spa?
155
00:08:57,936 --> 00:09:00,564
You know something?
I've never had an Asian sausage.
156
00:09:00,730 --> 00:09:02,733
I bet they're spicy.
I'd like to try one.
157
00:09:02,899 --> 00:09:04,943
Are you sure you're the editor
of a magazine?
158
00:09:05,110 --> 00:09:07,404
- Yeah.
- So listen, guys,
159
00:09:07,571 --> 00:09:10,991
I have us scheduled
for a massage at 5:30.
160
00:09:11,158 --> 00:09:14,620
but first I have to deliver
a letter for a client.
161
00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:16,789
Wait, you're on a case
on my birthday?
162
00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:19,542
No, it's just a simple delivery of a letter, Ray.
Nothing big.
163
00:09:19,709 --> 00:09:22,169
- So that's why you wanted to come here?
- No, I--
164
00:09:22,336 --> 00:09:24,255
I heard this place
was good for birthdays
165
00:09:24,422 --> 00:09:26,841
and I thought I'd kill two birds
with one stone.
166
00:09:28,509 --> 00:09:30,803
You know, that wasn't
very sensitive, Jonathan.
167
00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:34,057
That's the kind of thing I used to do
to Priscilla all the time
168
00:09:34,224 --> 00:09:37,185
and it would infuriate her--
hidden motives and all that.
169
00:09:37,352 --> 00:09:39,896
- I'm not Priscilla!
- I know, I know.
170
00:09:40,063 --> 00:09:42,274
I'm sorry, Ray.
To be honest,
171
00:09:42,441 --> 00:09:45,819
I forgot about your birthday and I thought
this was a good compromise.
172
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:49,573
It'll just take me two minutes
and I'll be right back with you guys, okay?
173
00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:52,534
Okay.
174
00:09:52,701 --> 00:09:55,204
He said okay.
175
00:09:57,915 --> 00:10:01,794
Hey, you want to get stoned
before the massage?
176
00:10:03,004 --> 00:10:04,922
That would make me feel
a little bit better, yeah.
177
00:10:05,089 --> 00:10:06,758
Of course I do.
178
00:10:13,556 --> 00:10:15,266
Oh!
179
00:10:15,433 --> 00:10:16,601
Excuse me, hi.
180
00:10:16,768 --> 00:10:19,271
- Do you know Hee Cho?
- No.
181
00:10:19,437 --> 00:10:21,273
Well--
182
00:10:22,441 --> 00:10:23,942
Oh.
183
00:11:02,941 --> 00:11:04,151
Excuse me.
184
00:11:04,318 --> 00:11:06,153
Oh hi.
185
00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:08,780
Do you know someone
named Hee Cho?
186
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:11,992
Bye.
187
00:11:25,089 --> 00:11:27,759
This is for women only!
188
00:11:27,925 --> 00:11:30,178
I'm so sorry. I don't know
what I was thinking.
189
00:11:30,345 --> 00:11:33,640
You know, I was pretending
that I was Tony Curtis.
190
00:11:33,807 --> 00:11:36,309
Listen, do you know
someone named Hee Cho?
191
00:11:36,476 --> 00:11:39,229
I have a letter for her.
It's very important.
192
00:11:39,396 --> 00:11:43,400
You!
You wait here, stupid boy.
193
00:11:55,871 --> 00:11:58,374
Oh boy, look at her.
194
00:11:58,541 --> 00:12:00,501
I'm so glad
the sun deck is coed.
195
00:12:00,710 --> 00:12:02,545
Hello.
196
00:12:02,712 --> 00:12:04,797
And goodbye.
Never see you again.
197
00:12:04,964 --> 00:12:08,134
Hey, Jonathan told me you're
quite the ladies' man nowadays.
198
00:12:08,301 --> 00:12:09,719
That's right.
199
00:12:09,886 --> 00:12:12,597
I've been with two women
since Leah broke up with me--
200
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:16,559
a drunk and an elf--
both excellent in bed.
201
00:12:16,726 --> 00:12:19,062
An elf?
You mean a dwarf?
202
00:12:19,229 --> 00:12:22,691
No, an elf.
Every day she glued on elf ears.
203
00:12:22,858 --> 00:12:25,569
Nice-- nice kid,
but she just kind of left
204
00:12:25,736 --> 00:12:28,071
and went back to Providence
to live with her parents.
205
00:12:28,238 --> 00:12:30,407
- Aw, that's a shame.
- No, it's okay.
206
00:12:30,574 --> 00:12:33,035
I'm trying to win Leah back.
207
00:12:33,202 --> 00:12:36,163
I saved her dog Little Ray,
so I think that's a good first step.
208
00:12:36,330 --> 00:12:38,791
Oh my God, look at her.
209
00:12:41,836 --> 00:12:44,505
Ugh.
210
00:12:44,672 --> 00:12:46,382
Yeah.
211
00:12:46,591 --> 00:12:48,551
George, how many women
have you been with?
212
00:12:51,095 --> 00:12:53,932
Well, too many to count really.
213
00:12:55,767 --> 00:12:59,187
But it's been wonderful
in its own way.
214
00:12:59,354 --> 00:13:02,274
I've been like
Blanche DuBois really.
215
00:13:02,441 --> 00:13:05,152
I've relied on
"the kindness of strangers."
216
00:13:07,404 --> 00:13:09,364
Hello.
217
00:13:10,449 --> 00:13:12,910
And goodbye.
218
00:13:18,332 --> 00:13:21,919
Excuse me, I was told you have
a letter for Hee Cho.
219
00:13:22,086 --> 00:13:23,254
Why are you dressed like that?
220
00:13:23,421 --> 00:13:26,257
It's complicated.
Can you bring me to her?
221
00:13:26,424 --> 00:13:28,843
No, but I can deliver
the letter for you.
222
00:13:29,010 --> 00:13:31,471
I'm the only person at the spa
who really knows her.
223
00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:33,890
The note is from Dr. O'Connor?
224
00:13:34,099 --> 00:13:36,726
Maybe.
Maybe not.
225
00:13:36,935 --> 00:13:39,688
Well, if it's from Dr. O'Connor,
she'll want the letter.
226
00:13:39,896 --> 00:13:42,149
I'm her friend.
227
00:13:45,485 --> 00:13:48,113
Okay, but it's really important
that she get this.
228
00:13:48,322 --> 00:13:50,949
I understand.
229
00:13:51,158 --> 00:13:53,118
It's a matter of the heart.
230
00:13:58,666 --> 00:13:59,792
Oh God.
231
00:14:00,001 --> 00:14:01,627
Oh, I love this.
232
00:14:01,836 --> 00:14:03,671
You know, being cancer-free
233
00:14:03,838 --> 00:14:06,674
has me craving all sorts
of new experiences.
234
00:14:06,841 --> 00:14:09,969
- It's always like that.
- I guess it's heightened now.
235
00:14:10,178 --> 00:14:14,015
I want to try everything.
I want to be insane like Klaus Kinski.
236
00:14:14,224 --> 00:14:17,727
I wanna-- I wanna live in Stockholm
in the winter
237
00:14:17,936 --> 00:14:19,437
because I've fallen in love.
238
00:14:19,646 --> 00:14:21,231
I wanna be a eunuch
239
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:24,026
in the harem
of an Arab prince.
240
00:14:24,192 --> 00:14:27,029
- George, what are you talking about?
- We smoked pot on the roof.
241
00:14:27,196 --> 00:14:30,157
- Yeah.
- Oh. I want to go to Stockholm.
242
00:14:30,365 --> 00:14:32,826
Oh! Oh yeah.
243
00:14:32,993 --> 00:14:36,205
Oh, that's the stuff! Can you knead
my buttocks with your toes?
244
00:14:36,372 --> 00:14:39,083
- That's where I hold a lot of tension.
- Yes sir.
245
00:14:41,544 --> 00:14:44,755
- I need to speak with you.
- Hee?
246
00:14:44,964 --> 00:14:47,216
- You're the boy I gave the letter to?
- Yes.
247
00:14:47,425 --> 00:14:49,010
- What?
- I need your help.
248
00:14:49,177 --> 00:14:51,012
My father's security guards
are after me.
249
00:14:51,221 --> 00:14:54,349
- Why, what happened?
- I took $10,000 from the safe for my dowry.
250
00:14:54,557 --> 00:14:56,518
I love to shop.
251
00:14:56,726 --> 00:14:58,812
That's them. It's too late.
252
00:14:59,020 --> 00:15:00,939
Quick, hide under the table!
253
00:15:01,148 --> 00:15:02,524
Guys, guys, guys,
hide her, hide her.
254
00:15:02,733 --> 00:15:04,776
Cover her with your legs.
Cover her with your legs.
255
00:15:04,985 --> 00:15:06,862
Come on, come on.
Sonny, don't say anything.
256
00:15:07,070 --> 00:15:08,822
Okay.
257
00:15:10,157 --> 00:15:11,325
We're looking for the boss's son.
258
00:15:11,533 --> 00:15:12,660
He's dressed as a woman again.
259
00:15:12,868 --> 00:15:14,245
So what? I'm working.
260
00:15:15,412 --> 00:15:16,831
Okay okay.
261
00:15:21,335 --> 00:15:23,880
What the hell is going on?
This is my birthday.
262
00:15:26,257 --> 00:15:29,969
Oh, wait a minute.
Is she for me?
263
00:15:32,597 --> 00:15:35,809
I can't believe this. I was really enjoying
having that woman walk on my ass.
264
00:15:36,017 --> 00:15:38,228
Sorry, Ray, but we have to help Hee.
She's all alone.
265
00:15:38,436 --> 00:15:42,232
This is fun too, right?
It'll make a great Harry Parker mystery.
266
00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:44,067
You could make things up.
It's called fiction.
267
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:46,987
Now who exactly is Hee?
268
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:50,324
My client's fiancee who is a man,
but also a beautiful woman.
269
00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:53,452
- So Hee is a he, but also a she?
- Yes.
270
00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:54,828
Got it.
Oh, I like this.
271
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:57,248
It's very helpful for my mind.
272
00:15:57,456 --> 00:16:01,043
These sorts of things are supposed to be
very good for preventing Alzheimer's.
273
00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:03,087
You went down the wrong hallway.
274
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,839
The laundry room is back that way.
275
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:07,425
Oh!
276
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,510
- Oh shit.
- Go go go!
277
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:11,262
- Go go go go go!
- This way, this way.
278
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:12,847
Here here.
279
00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:15,600
There's an emergency exit
we can use.
280
00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:17,936
Here here,
jump jump jump.
281
00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:31,283
Oh, this is wonderful.
282
00:16:32,743 --> 00:16:34,578
Go go go go go go go!
283
00:16:34,745 --> 00:16:36,455
Vikram,
Vikram, start the car.
284
00:16:36,622 --> 00:16:39,458
Get in the car.
Get in the car.
285
00:16:39,625 --> 00:16:41,252
Get in, go go go.
286
00:17:17,257 --> 00:17:19,259
I told you the car needed a tune-up,
Mr. Christopher.
287
00:17:19,426 --> 00:17:22,387
- Oh, stop nagging me!
- I agree with Vikram. This car sucks.
288
00:17:22,554 --> 00:17:24,973
Everyone shut up.
We'll wait till the car cools down.
289
00:17:25,140 --> 00:17:27,267
I'll just let them have me.
290
00:17:27,434 --> 00:17:29,019
Oh no, there they are.
291
00:17:31,521 --> 00:17:33,941
Shit, let's go!
292
00:17:51,209 --> 00:17:52,919
Wait wait wait for me.
293
00:17:53,086 --> 00:17:55,463
- Here here.
- Wait-- oh Jeez.
294
00:17:55,630 --> 00:17:57,882
Ow ow ow ow.
God, I can't go any further.
295
00:17:58,049 --> 00:18:00,301
- Shh.
- My knees are like frozen with arthritis.
296
00:18:00,468 --> 00:18:02,637
Down down.
297
00:18:04,097 --> 00:18:06,975
Hey, Vikram,
you know martial arts.
298
00:18:07,142 --> 00:18:10,520
- Can you take these guys out?
- Mr. Christopher, I'm Indian, not Chinese.
299
00:18:10,687 --> 00:18:13,106
I can lower my body temperature,
but I don't know how to fight.
300
00:18:13,273 --> 00:18:16,485
That's not going to do us any good.
What about Indian wrestling?
301
00:18:16,652 --> 00:18:18,904
Mr. Christopher, you keep this up,
I'm going to resign my position.
302
00:18:19,071 --> 00:18:20,406
Oh lighten up.
Take a joke.
303
00:18:22,491 --> 00:18:24,452
Guys, I've got an idea.
304
00:18:24,618 --> 00:18:27,496
I don't know what's happening.
305
00:18:28,497 --> 00:18:30,333
What exactly is your family's
problem with you?
306
00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:33,586
They love me,
but they're ashamed of me.
307
00:18:33,753 --> 00:18:35,672
They're very traditional
and want me to be a boy.
308
00:18:35,838 --> 00:18:38,675
- That does sound traditional.
- So I'm eloping.
309
00:18:38,842 --> 00:18:41,553
I landed a doctor.
310
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,347
- Are you married?
- No, I'm a cartoonist.
311
00:18:44,514 --> 00:18:46,933
You're very handsome.
I like your beard.
312
00:18:47,100 --> 00:18:49,227
- Do you have a girlfriend?
- Thank you.
313
00:18:49,394 --> 00:18:51,063
I did,
but she broke up with me.
314
00:18:51,229 --> 00:18:53,982
But I still love her.
I regard her as my best friend.
315
00:18:55,692 --> 00:18:58,320
You know, I never thought I'd be
in a graveyard in a spa robe
316
00:18:58,487 --> 00:19:00,948
talking to a beautiful transvestite
in the moonlight.
317
00:19:01,115 --> 00:19:03,284
That's romantic.
318
00:19:05,870 --> 00:19:09,373
Hey, I'm over here!
I have the money!
319
00:19:09,540 --> 00:19:11,501
- Whoo!
- Oh my God,
320
00:19:11,667 --> 00:19:13,294
I can't believe he's trying
to be a hero again.
321
00:19:13,461 --> 00:19:16,297
I got the money, whoo!
322
00:19:17,715 --> 00:19:19,342
Jonathan, he's got a gun!
323
00:19:19,509 --> 00:19:21,344
Look out.
324
00:19:27,726 --> 00:19:29,853
Oh for God's sake,
put your back into it, man.
325
00:19:30,020 --> 00:19:32,564
Don't be so condescending,
Mr. Christopher.
326
00:19:32,731 --> 00:19:35,317
Ray, are you all right?!
327
00:19:38,237 --> 00:19:40,072
Is Hee Cho okay?
328
00:19:53,544 --> 00:19:56,172
- I love you.
- I love you, my dear.
329
00:19:58,758 --> 00:20:02,053
- I'm feeling very emotional.
- Me too, Vikram.
330
00:20:02,220 --> 00:20:05,849
- I'm hungry. Is that an emotion?
- Sometimes.
331
00:20:07,893 --> 00:20:09,561
Thank you for everything.
332
00:20:09,728 --> 00:20:12,564
You're welcome, but there's
one more thing, Dr. O'Connor.
333
00:20:12,731 --> 00:20:16,026
As your private detective
I should tell you in case you don't know,
334
00:20:16,193 --> 00:20:18,237
- that Hee is--
- I know.
335
00:20:18,404 --> 00:20:19,947
She's perfect.
336
00:20:21,490 --> 00:20:23,492
Huh.
337
00:20:33,044 --> 00:20:35,964
Oh shit. Wait wait!
What about my biopsy?
338
00:20:36,130 --> 00:20:38,883
Oh, I forgot to tell you.
Your biopsy was--
339
00:20:39,050 --> 00:20:41,928
What?
340
00:20:42,095 --> 00:20:44,264
- I--
- Don't worry.
341
00:20:44,431 --> 00:20:46,475
I know a very good
dermatologist.
342
00:20:46,641 --> 00:20:49,144
Much better
than my urologist.
343
00:20:49,311 --> 00:20:51,480
What now, gentlemen?
344
00:20:52,522 --> 00:20:55,651
Well, we could go back to my hotel
and order room service.
345
00:20:55,818 --> 00:20:58,445
- It's still your birthday.
- What about that bottle of whiskey?
346
00:20:58,612 --> 00:21:01,240
- Maybe smoke a little birthday pot?
- Oooh.
347
00:21:01,407 --> 00:21:02,867
Is it presumptuous of me to wish
348
00:21:03,033 --> 00:21:05,077
to join all of you
after our shared adventure?
349
00:21:05,244 --> 00:21:06,746
Not at all, Vikram.
350
00:21:06,912 --> 00:21:09,081
In the end you did very nicely
with that shovel.
351
00:21:09,248 --> 00:21:10,416
Thank you, boss.
352
00:22:07,234 --> 00:22:11,784
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