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1
00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:12,750
Brilliant! Found you! Sergeant
Morrision, is it?
2
00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:14,390
~ Yes, ma'am.
~ Captain Ellen Best.
3
00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:17,640
I'm the new ATO with
Bluestone 42 who are...
4
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:19,190
Oh.
5
00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:21,510
THEY PANT
6
00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:23,630
Come on, Mac!
7
00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:26,880
We tabbed it over. Which
was... informative.
8
00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:32,110
Thirsty!
9
00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:36,310
They're a work in progress,
but excellence takes time.
10
00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:38,470
As does fitness...
11
00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:39,990
trust...
12
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,630
and everything else.
13
00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:45,680
~ So, you found a stash
of home-made explosive? ~ Just over here.
14
00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:50,510
You lot are slower than my nipper,
and she shuffles on her arse.
15
00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:52,310
You got here last!
16
00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:55,910
I was bringing up the rear!
The fastest goes at the back.
17
00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:58,630
The fastest gets there first.
18
00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:01,190
I don't think you understand
what a race is, Towerblock.
19
00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:03,990
~ It wasn't a race.
~ You're just saying that cos I won.
20
00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:07,430
You didn't win. The fittest
brings up the rear!
21
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:09,670
~ Back me up here, Bird.
~ Oh, whatever.
22
00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:11,470
Fight your own battles.
23
00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:14,230
Not really how the army
works, but thanks, Bird.
24
00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:15,830
OK, team!
25
00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:19,430
Let's see some fives and twenties,
set up an ICP and...
26
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,230
HE PANTS AND GROANS
27
00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:25,280
~ Simon, are you OK?
~ Totally ready, ma'am.
28
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:29,120
Good.
29
00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:57,910
Can't believe she made us
tab it all the way back.
30
00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:00,310
~ It's called leadership, Mac.
~ Is it?
31
00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:03,160
Nick would've sorted out transport...
32
00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:05,190
.. somehow.
33
00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:06,550
Or got us to carry him.
34
00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:10,350
Oh, I think she's the kind of leader
we've been crying out for.
35
00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:12,830
~ You fancy her.
~ What? No.
36
00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:15,430
It's called the chain of command.
37
00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:16,990
Ah, got you!
38
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:20,510
"Oh, Captain, tie me up with
your chain of command.
39
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:23,030
"Oh, ma'am! Oh!"
40
00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:26,160
OK, guys. Take a seat, take a seat.
41
00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:29,630
Right.
42
00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:33,160
Why did we join the Army? Go!
43
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:36,750
Don't think about it. Go.
44
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:39,000
~ Shoot people.
~ Free food!
45
00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:42,080
~ Blow shit up.
~ Annoy my parents.
46
00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:45,830
Do you want to know
why I joined the army?
47
00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,710
I joined the army because
I wanted to...
48
00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:51,510
~ Er, boss?
~ Oh, sorry. Yes, Simon. Go ahead.
49
00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:53,710
I wanted to be the best.
50
00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:56,510
Great, yes! Me too!
51
00:02:56,560 --> 00:03:00,310
I wanted to be the best.
52
00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:02,870
And I want you to
want to be the best.
53
00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:08,470
So that's why, after Ops, my teams
always have coldies and PMA.
54
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:09,990
Great!
55
00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:11,550
What is that?
56
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:15,750
Cold drinks and a Post Match
Analysis of the last operation.
57
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:20,750
A totally non-judgemental chat about
all the mistakes that were made.
58
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,950
What? But we found the
HME and blew it up.
59
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,350
~ SHE GASPS
~ Oh, was that wrong?
60
00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:29,070
No. But I've seen
the way you operate.
61
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:32,110
Or the way you've been
allowed to operate.
62
00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:34,030
"Allowed to operate"?
63
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:37,150
Look at this. This is
six months out of date.
64
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:39,590
This hasn't been current
since Herrick 14.
65
00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:44,640
And this is smeared with what I
can only hope is chocolate spread.
66
00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:47,470
Are we really being the best?
67
00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:50,110
At putting up posters? Probs not.
68
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,870
Ma'am, let me volunteer to
sort out the notice board.
69
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:54,070
There it is.
70
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:57,990
And the storage system in the team
ISO needs to be rationalising.
71
00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:00,390
He wants to sort out your box, ma'am.
72
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,990
OK. Thank you. So, I put some cans
in the evidence fridge before we left.
73
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,910
~ I'll get them!
~ Mint. ~ Gleaming!
74
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,750
Cold drinks help with alertness.
75
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,710
Alertness leads to
a positive attitude.
76
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:14,150
I call it alertitude.
77
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:16,310
The fridge... It's gone!
78
00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:18,400
ALL: What?
79
00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:21,620
See? No fridge!
80
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:25,230
My cheese was in that fridge!
81
00:04:25,280 --> 00:04:26,950
BOTH: No, it wasn't.
82
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,710
Bloody hell.
83
00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:30,830
OK, guys. Very funny.
84
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,880
This is the Bluestone
42 I've heard about!
85
00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:37,670
~ So where's the fridge?
~ Fuck knows.
86
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:38,790
Ma'am.
87
00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:41,270
OK. Great!
88
00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:42,470
Humour!
89
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:44,510
Wind up the new ATO.
90
00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:46,910
But humour can get in
the way of best practice
91
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:48,830
and that is what's
happened here. So...
92
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:51,350
Boss, we didn't nick it!
Everyone wants a cold drink.
93
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,550
So where's the fridge?
94
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,540
Or will I have to
check your quarters?
95
00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,470
OK, then.
96
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,350
Right. So where is it?
97
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,710
Am I really going to have to tell
the colonel there's a thief on base?
98
00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:17,310
Oh! Is there?
99
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,950
Humour again. Good.
100
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,030
We didn't nick it.
101
00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:25,280
OK, if none of you are
going to admit it...
102
00:05:25,350 --> 00:05:26,350
No?
103
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:28,940
.. I'll go and see the colonel.
104
00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,020
No?
105
00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,360
OK, I'll go.
106
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:40,390
Nice! She thinks we're a
bunch of thieving bastards
107
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,430
and she basically just
called Nick a dick.
108
00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:44,990
How we've been "allowed to operate"?
109
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:48,110
In all fairness, Nick
was a bit of a dick.
110
00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:49,870
Mmm, Nick was the best.
111
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:53,990
To me, all the Ruperts just
meld into one massive Rupert.
112
00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:57,240
Yeah! There's a new
broom in town, Bird.
113
00:05:58,360 --> 00:05:59,990
She's cleaning up.
114
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:02,910
She's cleaning us. She's...
115
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:04,640
Never mind!
116
00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,550
~ Fancies her!
~ Too right!
117
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,950
~ Come on, let's go and get a brew.
~ Oh! Race you to the cookhouse.
118
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:15,150
First one to get there wins,
just in case you'd forgotten.
119
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,270
For fuck's sake!
120
00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:19,390
I'm as fit as a butcher's dog, me.
121
00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:21,390
A butcher's dog on steroids.
122
00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:25,040
The kind of steroids that
make you weak and slow?
123
00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:29,070
Beep test. Jerrycan test.
124
00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:31,070
I'll beat Rocket at anything!
125
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:34,830
Do both! In Catterick our sergeant
made us do a beep test
126
00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:39,070
carrying jerrycans after we put
a Thunderflash down a toilet.
127
00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:40,950
Rocket still got an 11.
128
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,440
Aye. And covered in shit.
129
00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:47,750
Come on, then.
130
00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:55,470
Ah, Captain Best.
131
00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:57,870
Putting your team through
their paces, I see.
132
00:06:57,920 --> 00:06:59,240
Oh!
133
00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:04,030
Great! Always good to focus
on fitness and appearance.
134
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,790
Look smart, think smart, fight smart.
135
00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:10,190
Hm. I had no idea those three
separate things were linked.
136
00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:13,790
~ Illuminating.
~ Well, got to raise the standards after...
137
00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:16,670
~ You know.
~ Do go on.
138
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:18,520
Nick Medhurst...
139
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:23,430
.. is a great ATO, but
I do things my way.
140
00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,950
Which, you'll be pleased
to hear, is the Army way.
141
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,870
Oh. Is it?
142
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:30,830
Yes, sir. He gave them
a lot of leeway.
143
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:32,950
Practical jokes. Humour.
144
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,110
Oh, no...
145
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:35,870
Is that your fridge, sir?
146
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:38,430
Yes, got to keep the gazpacho cold.
147
00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:42,510
It's just that it says
Bluestone 42 on it.
148
00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:43,960
Does it?
149
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:46,950
Well, I never!
150
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,830
I suppose you'd better
have this back.
151
00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:51,990
Thank you, sir! The team will...
152
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:54,430
I'm sure it'll be just as
effective on another fridge...
153
00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:56,510
~ Oh.
~ .. should you need one.
154
00:07:56,560 --> 00:08:00,270
You're not really collecting DNA evidence
any more, are you? With the drawdown.
155
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:02,510
~ No, sir, but...
~ What's the first rule?
156
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:05,270
Finders keepers. What's the
second rule? Losers weepers.
157
00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:07,600
~ Carry on.
~ Yes, sir.
158
00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:11,240
~ Beep!
~ Beep!
159
00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:15,870
~ Beep!
~ Beep!
160
00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:18,120
What are you? Roadrunner?
161
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:21,320
~ Beep!
~ Beep!
162
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:23,910
Erm, hi.
163
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,630
Turns out the colonel has the fridge.
164
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:29,150
So, good news - you
guys didn't steal it.
165
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,590
Apologies in order. Issued.
Tick. We all move on.
166
00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:33,070
Er, do we, boss?
167
00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:35,710
I mean, you falsely accused
your team of stealing,
168
00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:38,470
but I'm sure they'll learn
to trust you again.
169
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,910
~ Eventually.
~ Bird, it's only a fridge.
170
00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:44,630
A fridge that Nick got them.
And that was not easy.
171
00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:46,630
Oh, he was brilliant.
172
00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:49,270
Well, it's standard issue, isn't it?
173
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,630
DNA evidence? I'll just
requisition a new one.
174
00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:55,390
Good idea, ma'am. That'll
definitely work. Mm.
175
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:56,790
One more thing.
176
00:08:56,840 --> 00:09:00,830
I've been looking at what Nick probably
thought of as his paperwork
177
00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:03,110
and there's no record
of refresher training
178
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:05,910
on Battlefield Life-saving
Skills, Health and Safety...
179
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:09,120
Oh, we didn't have time for
that. What with this, erm...
180
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:11,390
.. war.
181
00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:14,950
Sure. But you didn't do any
Rapid Response training?
182
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,630
~ Situational Awareness?
~ Oh, we did Situational Awareness.
183
00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:21,070
Yeah, Rocket got confused. Thought
we were playing hide and seek.
184
00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:23,470
So we played hide and
seek. Which was awesome.
185
00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:24,590
See you later!
186
00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:26,240
~ Beep!
~ Beep!
187
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:30,860
~ Beep!
~ For fuck's sake!
188
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:38,150
~ Scotland, the fittest nation on earth!
~ Beep!
189
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,230
I don't fucking believe it.
190
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,990
Great work, guys!
191
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,710
Hands in the air. I've let
you down on the fridge.
192
00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:47,550
Nick's fridge. The team fridge.
So I will get you a new one.
193
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,750
~ Promise.
~ Beep! ~ Is he all right?
194
00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:51,630
~ He's fine.
~ Beep!
195
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:54,080
Probably needs new batteries.
196
00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:57,990
Beep!
197
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:14,470
Ah, ma'am. Would you like to
inspect your new, tidy Iso?
198
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:16,880
Sure. And do call me Ellen.
199
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:21,750
I've been wanting to do this
for ages, but Nick was all,
200
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:24,960
"Don't bother, Medal."
201
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:28,590
Ah, sorry, I should explain.
202
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:31,790
Sometimes the guys
like to call me Medal.
203
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,870
~ Oh, have you got a...
~ No, not yet.
204
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:37,150
Nick wrote me up for one, but the
committee's probably deciding
205
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:42,520
what "no regard for his own
safety" means in medal terms.
206
00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:45,760
Anyway... er...
207
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,350
Wow!
208
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:53,430
That is, er, a bit tidier
than it was before.
209
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:54,790
Thank you, Simon.
210
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:57,190
I've left space for the fridge,
211
00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,950
if some bloody clown
owns up to stealing it.
212
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:03,350
Well, actually the Colonel has
it. But we're getting a new one.
213
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:04,950
~ No, you're not!
~ What?
214
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,870
I can't possibly allow
this requisition.
215
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,790
By the time a new fridge gets here,
the Afghans will be in charge.
216
00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:14,150
As I think I've shown, the only way
to get a fridge is to steal one.
217
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:17,000
~ Sir, I hope that's not...
~ Carry on!
218
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,630
That's fine. I will
get a fridge somehow.
219
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:24,310
That is a Captain Best promise.
220
00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:26,230
Oh, yes, ma'am...
221
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,990
Ellen.
222
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:30,390
Are you OK?
223
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,550
Oh! Yes! It's just the sun.
224
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:36,070
This tent's actually
been set up all wrong.
225
00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:39,830
It should actually have been
oriented ten degrees that way.
226
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:42,110
You want me to move the
Det by ten degrees?
227
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,350
Could you?
228
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:44,870
~ THEY LAUGH
~ Sure.
229
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:48,000
~ Great!
~ OK! ~ And I will check!
230
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:53,390
Jasmine!
231
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:56,110
Where the fuck did you come
from? Are you stalking me?
232
00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:57,430
I need help beating Rocket
233
00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:59,870
and you've got something other
people just don't have.
234
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,470
Drugs? I'll get the price list.
235
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:03,110
No. Not that. Come here.
236
00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:06,260
Touch me again and I'll
cut your nuts off!
237
00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:12,950
Beep! Faster, you piece of meat!
238
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,230
~ Is this the sort of level you're after?
~ Yeah...
239
00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:17,430
Beep!
240
00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:20,350
I will take a razorblade
to your fucking perineum!
241
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,150
~ Aaargh!
~ This is fun!
242
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:25,080
Fuck your enemy! Fuck him in the eye!
243
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,110
Right, better make this the
last hand of the night.
244
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:35,150
We have got work to do.
245
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:36,830
C'mon, Rocket. Bling!
246
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:40,470
~ Hmm? Oh!
~ I still think we should have invited Ellen to play.
247
00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:42,230
Oooh, Ellen!
248
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:45,430
What? She said I could.
It's her name.
249
00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:46,870
Ellen and Medal up a tree
250
00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:51,080
W-A-N-K-I-N-G H-I-M O-F-F.
251
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:53,520
W-A...
252
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,150
"Waking him up"?
253
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,630
Hi, guys. Ooh, cards.
254
00:12:58,680 --> 00:12:59,830
Yep.
255
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:03,750
Kicking back with a bit of poker
and some nice warm drinks.
256
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:07,710
When life doesn't give you a fridge,
drink warm lemonade. Mmm!
257
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:10,030
Bird, can I have a word?
258
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,120
Yep. I fold anyway.
259
00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:15,080
OK, a-hem...
260
00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:17,710
The Colonel.
261
00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:19,960
Is he always so, erm...
262
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,320
I...
263
00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:25,270
He's nuts, isn't he?
264
00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:26,830
Yeah. Pretty much.
265
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:30,470
He said the only way to get
a fridge is to steal one.
266
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:31,830
Interesting.
267
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:35,830
Do you think he wants me
to steal the fridge back?
268
00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:38,230
Erm...
269
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:39,950
Probably.
270
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,230
Yeah, yes.
271
00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:43,830
You should totally do that.
272
00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:46,750
~ I could get into so much trouble.
~ Mm.
273
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:50,040
Still, you did promise.
274
00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:56,510
Guys, I am going to
steal the fridge back.
275
00:13:56,560 --> 00:14:00,230
From a Lieutenant Colonel.
For you. My team.
276
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:02,870
~ All right.
~ Ma'am, I volunteer to be lookout.
277
00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:06,320
No. I think this is something
I have to do on my own.
278
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:11,830
Got it!
279
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,800
"Wanking him off"!
280
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,470
But why up a tree?
281
00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:20,200
TENSE MUSIC
282
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,360
DOOR CREAKS
283
00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:48,160
Oh, shit it!
284
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,270
You want fridge?
285
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:58,230
Yes. No. Yes... if you can
get one by tomorrow morning.
286
00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:00,310
50 dollars. It is agreed.
287
00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:03,630
~ Wait, 50?
~ 30. Half off for first order.
288
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:06,470
Well, I haven't seen
the... Half off is 25.
289
00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:09,120
Five dollar booking fee. Bye-bye!
290
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:19,910
Towerblock, are you OK?
291
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,270
You look like my mum after
my Uncle Rab's been round
292
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:24,990
~ for his afternoon lie-down.
~ We are having a Beep Test rematch.
293
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:29,950
1600 hours. Out there.
And I'm going to beat you!
294
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,790
Are you? OK.
295
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:34,640
Notice anything?
296
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,920
Yeah, your chin is on my shoulder.
297
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,120
The Det.
298
00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:46,710
No?
299
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:48,960
We moved it. Ten degrees.
300
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,110
Why?
301
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:54,350
Captain Best didn't like the
way the sun was coming in.
302
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:55,790
Typical Rupert!
303
00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:58,030
Surprised she didn't get
you to move the sun instead!
304
00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,590
Oh, don't be ridiculous,
Towerblock. She's not insane!
305
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:03,670
Oh, is this about Simon moving
the Det because he fancies Ellen?
306
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:08,190
~ THEY LAUGH MOCKINGLY
~ No. She gave me orders, so I obey them.
307
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,630
That's why ye fancy her.
Ye like being ordered about.
308
00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:13,390
Your old fiancee used to order
you about and you liked that.
309
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,430
~ No...
~ Aye. Captain Best, the new Charlotte.
310
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:17,870
Ha-ha-ha!
311
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,320
She is not the new Charlotte.
312
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:22,870
Morning, Boss.
313
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:24,270
Morning!
314
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:26,120
Notice anything?
315
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:30,200
The Det, we moved it as ordered.
316
00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:33,870
Simon, I was joking!
317
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:35,150
Yes.
318
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,470
I knew that...
319
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:40,910
and we moved it as part of the joke!
320
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:43,110
~ For fuck's sake!
~ Eh?
321
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,270
Erm... funny!
322
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:47,390
And we'll be moving it back.
323
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:48,710
So...
324
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:51,990
.. the joke's on you!
325
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:53,760
Or us...
326
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,380
Or someone.
327
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,870
Ah-ha! One Captain Best
promise delivered.
328
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:08,510
Faster than requisition!
Cheaper than Dixons!
329
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,750
Faruq, that's a wooden
box, painted white.
330
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,670
Yes. You put a block
of ice in the top,
331
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:14,990
will keep the contents
cold two, three hours.
332
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:16,790
Where am I going to get
a block of ice from?
333
00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:18,790
~ You want freezer?
~ Oh, you've got a freezer?
334
00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:20,750
No, it's just another box, isn't it?
335
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,390
Well...
336
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:23,980
No, just...
337
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,550
OK. Hands in the air. I'm sorry.
338
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:31,070
I have failed on the fridge front.
339
00:17:31,120 --> 00:17:33,750
But can we just get on with
analysing yesterday's operation?
340
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,150
~ But we need coldies.
~ You did promise, Boss.
341
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:38,950
This is pathetic! We're soldiers.
342
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:42,040
We should want to be the best
with or without coldies.
343
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:46,190
I'm trying to create a different
mind-set here but you know what?
344
00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:47,390
Just fuck it!
345
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:50,270
Let's just muddle along until
someone else gets blown up!
346
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,750
Er, Boss, you know Nick's
injury wasn't his fault?
347
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,510
~ You've read the report.
~ I know, I know. ~ No respect.
348
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:58,750
Fine, Bird, I'll say it. I
don't respect Nick Medhurst.
349
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:02,750
Why? Because he didn't
respect you. Any of you.
350
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:04,590
Because he didn't push you.
351
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:07,030
I extended my tour for you,
352
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:09,790
because I heard that you could
be the best team in Afghan.
353
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:13,190
Potential operator.
Potential chief bleep.
354
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:14,670
Potential Army 100.
355
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,460
Special Forces.
356
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:18,510
Very tidy.
357
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,590
But in order to do that, you
have to work at it, hard.
358
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:25,800
So can we forget about
the stupid fridge?
359
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,830
Nick would've got it back.
360
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,510
No, he wouldn't! How?
361
00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:34,670
I don't know, Boss. Maybe
he'd have just asked.
362
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,260
Ask? Genius! I have actually...
363
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,510
I haven't specifically...
364
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:43,030
I will ask. Meeting postponed.
365
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:51,550
Follow me, bitch.
366
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:54,340
~ Oh, not again.
~ It's beast o'clock.
367
00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:57,550
Sir.
368
00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:59,710
Ah, Captain! Like the new Det.
369
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:01,190
Jaunty.
370
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,030
Er, yeah, thanks. Can I ask...
371
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:06,150
It's not really orthodox,
using basil in gazpacho,
372
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,590
but I find it just works.
373
00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:10,270
What's the first rule?
374
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:12,670
Do what works.
375
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,310
I'm not really a recipe
kind of a girl, sir.
376
00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:17,950
I just eat what's in
the tin. Anyway...
377
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:22,400
Yes, but sometimes, you have
to think outside the tin.
378
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:27,190
Fresh fruit and things like that?
379
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:30,830
I mean let go of the tin.
You don't need the tin.
380
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:33,630
Approach the problem
in a less tinny way.
381
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:37,150
Sir, about the fridge. Should
I talk to the CQMS or...
382
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:38,870
No.
383
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,260
All the fridges you need...
384
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,640
.. are already here.
385
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,470
~ Sir, can I have the fridge back?
~ No.
386
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:49,990
Right. OK.
387
00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:54,260
Sir. Sorry, Boss, shout
on. Transport in ten.
388
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:55,840
Sir.
389
00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,030
Ooh, gazpacho.
390
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:00,520
Mmm!
391
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,960
PEOPLE CHATTER
392
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:21,880
Faruq.
393
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,470
Do you want to come and take a
look once I've rendered it safe?
394
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,470
You'll need experience
at the business end
395
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,830
~ if you're going to be an operator.
~ Oh, mint. Cheers, Boss!
396
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:36,230
Bumlick!
397
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:39,870
We've got a new Ato, Bird. Get
over it. Everyone else has.
398
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:42,920
Yeah, at the exact moment
she blew smoke up our arses.
399
00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:47,070
So, standard procedure. I
want you 30 yards back, OK?
400
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:49,000
Yes, ma'am.
401
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:55,390
MIMICKING HIM: Yes, ma'am!
Have you got a hard-on?
402
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:59,230
No, it's the constriction of
the blood flow with the bla...
403
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:01,550
I haven't anyway! Eyes on!
404
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:06,160
Actually, Bird, can we widen
the cordon to 150 metres?
405
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,190
Really, Boss? Why?
406
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,030
I don't like the atmospherics.
407
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:13,390
Because the device feels
rushed, like it's a come-on.
408
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,030
And because, Corporal, I'm a captain
409
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:18,590
and a highly-trained Ato
on my second fucking tour!
410
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:19,950
Yes, Boss.
411
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,750
Charlie Charlie One, this is
Bluestone 42. We are extending
412
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,230
the cordon to one five zero metres.
413
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:27,510
Diamond 21, acknowledge. Over.
414
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,840
Diamond 21. Roger. Out.
415
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,670
Check this guy out.
He looks about 160.
416
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,750
Keep your eyes on him.
He could be a threat.
417
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:48,590
Ha! Him? What's he going to do?
418
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:51,640
Come up close and piss
hisself? Ha-ha-ha!
419
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:56,870
OK. Cordon secure, Boss.
420
00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:58,350
Thank you, Bird.
421
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:01,140
Observation, anticipation, control.
422
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:07,270
Boss on the move!
423
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:11,710
That guy's really lost it.
424
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:14,270
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Get back!
425
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:16,590
Boss, get back!
426
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:18,030
Cover!
427
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:20,480
FARUQ SHOUTS IN OWN LANGUAGE
428
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:23,840
Wadrega!
429
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:26,710
Hands in the air!
430
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:28,190
Hands in the air!
431
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,310
SHOUTS IN OWN LANGUAGE
432
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:33,070
Everyone down!
433
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:35,800
EXPLOSION
434
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:38,630
Fuckin' hell!
435
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:39,910
Fuck me!
436
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:41,590
Everyone OK?
437
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:45,070
Skip? Skip? Are you all right?
438
00:22:45,120 --> 00:22:47,150
Yes.
439
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:50,350
You all right, Towerblock?
You all right, Bird?
440
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:51,760
Yeah!
441
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:58,190
Diamond 21, this is Bluestone
42. Contact, suicide bomber.
442
00:22:58,240 --> 00:22:59,590
Sitrep to follow. Wait out.
443
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,350
His fuckin' head came
off! Did you see it?
444
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:02,950
That was fuckin' mingin'!
445
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,070
I thought he was just
some old stoned guy.
446
00:23:05,120 --> 00:23:07,710
He was. They get guys that are
about to die, they drug them
447
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:09,230
and they talk them into it.
448
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:10,550
That is fucked up!
449
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,990
Yeah, well, that's the Taliban.
450
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:14,750
First suicide bomber?
451
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:16,230
~ Yeah.
~ I think so.
452
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,150
We had a couple in Kandahar.
453
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:21,110
You always get traumatic
amputation of the head.
454
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,150
SHE MAKES BURSTING SOUND
455
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:25,070
No, it's not nice.
456
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:28,790
Sorry, Nick Medhurst would probably
say something humorous now
457
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,190
to get you all laughing but, er...
458
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:34,870
Well, I'm just going to get the job
done and get you home ASAP, yeah?
459
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:36,870
It's a shame we're not
collecting forensics.
460
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:38,110
There's a bit on Mac's face.
461
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:39,400
Eh?
462
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:42,430
Urgh! Fuck!
463
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:43,790
HE RETCHES
464
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,070
I think I'm going tae boak!
465
00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:50,040
DNA evidence! Bird, that is genius!
466
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:02,320
Bloody hell.
467
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:05,020
Yep, that'll do it.
468
00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:10,420
~ Could you find Captain Best for me?
~ Yes, sir.
469
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:14,350
Where's your head at?
470
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,830
Where's your head at?
Where's your head at?
471
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,510
The race is ready to begin.
472
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,950
Will the players take
their jerrycans!
473
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:27,950
If you lose, I will catheterise
you with a bendy straw!
474
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,870
What have I done?
475
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:32,110
Here's yours, Towerblock.
476
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,710
~ No!
~ I don't fancy running with these English cans.
477
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:37,300
~ They're way heavier.
~ You what?
478
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:39,720
THUD
479
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:42,510
LIGHT ECHO
480
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:47,350
You cheating bastard! That's
how he beat me the first time.
481
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:48,870
So I am the fittest.
482
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:50,790
Oh, forget it. Test's off.
483
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:53,950
Oh, test's off? I thought
we could all do it together.
484
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:55,070
Team bonding.
485
00:24:55,120 --> 00:24:57,790
Bonding? With that cheating bastard?
486
00:24:57,840 --> 00:24:59,310
Chill out, Towerblock.
487
00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:01,270
Literally... with a cold drink.
488
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,710
~ Fuck me, it's the fridge!
~ Ooh, is there ice cream?
489
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:05,390
How did you get it back?
490
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:06,780
Well...
491
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:10,150
~ That is mingin'!
~ Jesus, Boss!
492
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:12,270
I double-bagged it!
Basic food hygiene!
493
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:13,950
Had to get the fridge back somehow.
494
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,310
And I thought, what would
Nick Medhurst have done?
495
00:25:16,360 --> 00:25:18,510
Not that! He wasn't a psychopath!
496
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,830
Not sure he'd have bothered
to get it back at all.
497
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:23,150
Or he'd have got it and just
stuck it in his quarters.
498
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:26,390
Yeah, thinking about it, he'd have
probably just told us to fuck off.
499
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:28,910
~ Aye.
~ Yeah. ~ Well, I'm sure he wouldn't.
500
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,630
Anyway, why don't we all do
the test and work up a thirst?
501
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:34,870
Work up a thirst? It's
36 degrees in the shade!
502
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:36,430
Tell me about it.
503
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:38,390
I just finished moving
the bloody Det back.
504
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:40,840
Simon, you didn't have to...
505
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:43,430
Good! Great work!
506
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:44,950
HE BABBLES
507
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:49,630
OK, is everyone doing the test?
508
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:51,310
THEY AGREE
509
00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:53,950
Bit tired, but I suppose
so, Charlotte.
510
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,790
THEY LAUGH MOCKINGLY
511
00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:58,710
~ Captain.
~ Charlotte?
512
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:01,160
I said Captain, Boss, ma'am.
513
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:04,560
OK... Grab those jerrycans, everyone.
514
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:08,110
Um, Jasmine, will you do the honours?
515
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:10,560
I would be fucking delighted.
516
00:26:12,120 --> 00:26:13,590
Beep!
517
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,440
MUSIC: The Final Countdown by Europe
518
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:47,750
Ha-ha! Yes!
519
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:50,230
Hey, Mac, now who's the fittest, eh?
520
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:51,550
Who's the fittest?
521
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:54,680
Uh, fucking hell. That
woman is a machine.
522
00:26:56,360 --> 00:26:57,720
Beep!
523
00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:00,710
Beep!
524
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:02,230
APPLAUSE
525
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:04,870
Great work, everyone! Coldies!
526
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:08,390
~ Nice one, Boss!
~ Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am.
527
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:09,950
PMA first thing tomorrow morning.
528
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,990
Now though, we need to return the...
529
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:15,670
DNA evidence, so they can
have a proper burial.
530
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,750
~ Towerblock, can you run it
back to the village for me? ~ What, now, Boss?
531
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:20,790
Ma'am, I've got this.
532
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:24,190
Pick it up... and fucking
run, you tapeworm!
533
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:26,590
Pick it up, pick...
Run, fucking run...
534
00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:28,430
Run, you fuckwit, fucking run!
535
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:32,030
Everyone else, situational awareness
training in 15 minutes.
536
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:34,710
Situational awareness! Brilliant!
537
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:37,790
I'll count to 100 and
you all go and hide.
538
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:40,440
Best team in Afghan. You know it.
539
00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:43,670
Three... four... five...
540
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:47,150
six... seven... eight...
541
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,750
er, nine...
542
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,160
ten... 11?
543
00:27:53,360 --> 00:27:54,520
Uh...
544
00:27:54,570 --> 00:27:59,120
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