Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:24,817 --> 00:00:26,577
What the hell do you want?
2
00:00:28,457 --> 00:00:32,297
I can't concentrate if you're
watching me. Go on. Go on. Piss off.
3
00:00:35,411 --> 00:00:36,490
Piss off!
4
00:00:36,491 --> 00:00:39,131
Everything all right there,
boss? Yeah, it's fine!
5
00:00:39,132 --> 00:00:40,971
Just talking to a lizard!
6
00:00:42,371 --> 00:00:43,851
Um... what did you say, boss?
7
00:00:43,852 --> 00:00:45,770
I said I was just...
8
00:00:45,771 --> 00:00:46,929
It doesn't matter.
9
00:00:46,930 --> 00:00:49,571
OK. Er... do you need me
to prepare the hook and line?
10
00:00:49,572 --> 00:00:51,330
Or... anything else?
11
00:00:51,331 --> 00:00:54,611
Ah. Could you prepare
a Caesar salad?
12
00:00:56,651 --> 00:00:59,129
Um... Actually, just radio
the cookhouse
13
00:00:59,130 --> 00:01:01,609
and tell them that, if they're
planning tomato pasta bake
14
00:01:01,610 --> 00:01:04,769
for a fifth day running, I'm bringing
this bomb home for lunch.
15
00:01:04,770 --> 00:01:06,489
Yeah. Er, to be fair, boss,
16
00:01:06,490 --> 00:01:09,569
yesterday was spicy tomato pasta,
which isn't technically...
17
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:12,289
And my will to live
is further reduced.
18
00:01:12,290 --> 00:01:15,171
Good job I'm not in
a life-threatening situation.
19
00:01:18,251 --> 00:01:19,731
Oh, hang on.
20
00:01:40,991 --> 00:01:46,695
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
21
00:01:48,731 --> 00:01:51,050
Wait. Who's that? What?
22
00:01:51,051 --> 00:01:53,971
There's someone by the compound,
inside the cordon there.
23
00:01:53,972 --> 00:01:56,090
Skip, the line. Yeah, hang on.
24
00:01:56,091 --> 00:01:57,649
Watch out, Skip. Yeah, in a minute.
25
00:01:57,650 --> 00:01:59,851
Step back! Yeah, all right,
he's just... Uh!
26
00:01:59,852 --> 00:02:01,451
Get down!
27
00:02:07,811 --> 00:02:10,250
All right, Rocket? Just a plant.
28
00:02:10,251 --> 00:02:12,009
You sure it wasnae a tripwire?
29
00:02:12,010 --> 00:02:16,771
If it had been a tripwire,
we wouldn't be having this conversation right now.
30
00:02:16,772 --> 00:02:18,090
Oh.
31
00:02:18,091 --> 00:02:20,330
Right.
32
00:02:20,331 --> 00:02:21,610
Why not?
33
00:02:21,611 --> 00:02:25,890
Because he'd be flying towards ye
like flesh confetti.
34
00:02:25,891 --> 00:02:29,210
Like flesh and bone confetti.
Like flesh and...
35
00:02:29,211 --> 00:02:31,410
Yes, all right, Mac. Got you.
36
00:02:31,411 --> 00:02:33,371
Too much, aye?
37
00:02:36,931 --> 00:02:39,369
Right, let's give it ten
and I'll go back.
38
00:02:39,370 --> 00:02:41,449
So, Rocket, what was all that
shouting about?
39
00:02:41,450 --> 00:02:44,771
You dropped faster than your
testicles will in a year or two.
40
00:02:44,772 --> 00:02:46,290
It was nothing, boss.
41
00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:48,691
Nothing? He thought I'd found
a tripwire.
42
00:02:50,291 --> 00:02:53,089
A tripwire?
Yeah, but it was just a plant.
43
00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:55,091
A plant?
Yeah, so it was all OK.
44
00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:57,890
So, it was all OK?
This is entertaining.
45
00:02:57,891 --> 00:03:00,691
And where was this plant
that was all OK?
46
00:03:01,731 --> 00:03:03,451
Just in there.
47
00:03:05,051 --> 00:03:06,411
There.
48
00:03:07,411 --> 00:03:10,531
Are you sure, Lance Corporal?
Cos that's off the path.
49
00:03:10,532 --> 00:03:14,090
And stepping off the path
would be the act of a...
50
00:03:14,091 --> 00:03:15,450
colossal bell-end.
51
00:03:15,451 --> 00:03:18,331
I thought I spotted movement
in the compound over there.
52
00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:22,810
Oh, so you tried to get a closer
look by wandering off the path
53
00:03:22,811 --> 00:03:24,769
like a dozy fucking pensioner.
54
00:03:24,770 --> 00:03:26,689
But, like I said,
it was just a plant, so...
55
00:03:26,690 --> 00:03:28,649
Oh, and you discovered
it wasn't a booby trap,
56
00:03:28,650 --> 00:03:30,689
because an IED didn't blow
both your legs off
57
00:03:30,690 --> 00:03:33,489
and rip great fucking chunks
out of the rest of the team!
58
00:03:33,490 --> 00:03:36,491
Sir. You know why they're called
booby traps, Simon?
59
00:03:36,492 --> 00:03:38,610
Is it because...
Shut up!
60
00:03:38,611 --> 00:03:41,731
They're called booby traps because
they get trodden on by tits
61
00:03:41,732 --> 00:03:42,970
like you!
62
00:03:42,971 --> 00:03:44,690
Really?
63
00:03:44,691 --> 00:03:46,729
If you do not stay on the path,
64
00:03:46,730 --> 00:03:48,689
you will get blown
to shittington come!
65
00:03:48,690 --> 00:03:51,769
And we will need two dozen body bags
to ship you back to a fiancee
66
00:03:51,770 --> 00:03:55,809
who is, bafflingly, in love
with someone with fewer brain cells than bollocks!
67
00:03:55,810 --> 00:03:58,849
Protocol would be
a retraining exercise, boss.
68
00:03:58,850 --> 00:04:01,329
Get your shit together,
Lance Corporal,
69
00:04:01,330 --> 00:04:03,529
and stop acting like a useless
fucking geriatric!
70
00:04:03,530 --> 00:04:04,809
Another mistake like this
71
00:04:04,810 --> 00:04:07,449
could invoke considerably more
than a gigantic bollocking!
72
00:04:07,450 --> 00:04:09,529
Could it invoke a retraining
exercise? Millsy.
73
00:04:09,530 --> 00:04:12,529
We have the training opportunities
we need. We refer to them as "war".
74
00:04:12,530 --> 00:04:14,209
Boss, I'd really love it
if we could...
75
00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:15,569
Millsy, I would really love it
76
00:04:15,570 --> 00:04:17,489
if I got to eat foie gras
and drink Sauternes
77
00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:18,929
whilst shagging Mary the Padre.
78
00:04:18,930 --> 00:04:20,609
If you don't mind... Technically...
79
00:04:20,610 --> 00:04:23,009
Technically, Millsy, we spend
80 hours a week
80
00:04:23,010 --> 00:04:25,129
in close proximity to yellow lines.
81
00:04:25,130 --> 00:04:28,251
I think the last fucking thing we
need is a retraining exercise,
82
00:04:28,252 --> 00:04:31,290
with you pointing at them
like a knob-end.
83
00:04:31,291 --> 00:04:32,890
OK?
84
00:04:32,891 --> 00:04:34,171
Boss.
85
00:04:36,051 --> 00:04:37,730
Right. Eyes peeled.
86
00:04:37,731 --> 00:04:40,609
I'll be in the van.
Bird, have we got any coffee?
87
00:04:40,610 --> 00:04:43,329
Er, something very similar, boss.
What have we got, Bird?
88
00:04:43,330 --> 00:04:44,769
If you use "chai" in the answer,
89
00:04:44,770 --> 00:04:47,091
I'm going to go down there
and blow myself up.
90
00:04:47,092 --> 00:04:49,611
Um... well...
91
00:04:59,051 --> 00:05:02,090
Beef bolognese with
tomato pasta.
92
00:05:02,091 --> 00:05:04,809
Nice variation.
Well, at least it's hot.
93
00:05:04,810 --> 00:05:07,249
Reminds me of the time Rocket
had the shits. That was hot.
94
00:05:07,250 --> 00:05:09,409
I wouldn't have eaten that either!
95
00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:10,531
Nick, I'm eating.
96
00:05:10,532 --> 00:05:14,730
You know what I miss? Fruitcake.
Proper British fruitcake.
97
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:17,970
That is a fucking
boring food tae miss.
98
00:05:17,971 --> 00:05:21,331
And do you eat it with a tartan rug
over your knees, Grandad?
99
00:05:21,332 --> 00:05:25,170
Fucking funny, everyone. I know.
100
00:05:25,171 --> 00:05:27,930
Well, we've got the next best
thing.
101
00:05:27,931 --> 00:05:31,650
You say fruitcake,
I say tropical fruit mix.
102
00:05:31,651 --> 00:05:35,209
Tropical fruit mix? This is just
peaches. That's not tropical and it's not a mix.
103
00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:37,689
Have my golden-oats snack bar
if you're desperate, boss.
104
00:05:37,690 --> 00:05:40,529
As generous and unwelcome
as that offer is, Millsy,
105
00:05:40,530 --> 00:05:42,731
I just want a decent bloody
meal for once, not...
106
00:05:42,732 --> 00:05:45,210
Operational Ration Pack number 17.
107
00:05:45,211 --> 00:05:49,170
19, boss. 19.
17 is sweet-and-sour chicken.
108
00:05:49,171 --> 00:05:50,771
Thank you for your input.
109
00:05:53,091 --> 00:05:55,931
Oh, I just... I can't do it.
Can I have yours?
110
00:05:55,932 --> 00:05:57,330
Really? Serious.
111
00:05:57,331 --> 00:05:59,209
Rocket joined for the food. Aye.
112
00:05:59,210 --> 00:06:00,969
And the free uniform. And the gun.
113
00:06:00,970 --> 00:06:02,971
They don't let you keep
the gun afterwards.
114
00:06:02,972 --> 00:06:05,610
Eh? Shite!
115
00:06:05,611 --> 00:06:08,450
You lying bastard.
Ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha!
116
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:10,689
Come on, Mary, admit it.
That is horrible.
117
00:06:10,690 --> 00:06:13,729
Well, we're hardly feasting
on oysters and champagne,
118
00:06:13,730 --> 00:06:15,049
at least there's plenty of it.
119
00:06:15,050 --> 00:06:17,291
Again, when Rocket had the
shits there was plenty...
120
00:06:17,292 --> 00:06:18,730
Nick. Sorry.
121
00:06:18,731 --> 00:06:21,531
Bird, you're still eating it.
Why? Reminds me of home.
122
00:06:21,532 --> 00:06:22,970
Aw, really? Yeah.
123
00:06:22,971 --> 00:06:25,809
My mum's a fucking awful
cook. Why do you think I'm here?
124
00:06:25,810 --> 00:06:26,969
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
125
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,849
Nah, it's nothing that can't be
unfucked with a bit of ketchup.
126
00:06:29,850 --> 00:06:32,209
She's sending me some in the post.
If it ever gets here.
127
00:06:32,210 --> 00:06:33,689
When does it get here? Fuck knows.
128
00:06:33,690 --> 00:06:35,889
My big brother says he's
sending me some Mars bars.
129
00:06:35,890 --> 00:06:38,529
I've got to find decent food.
Faruq keeps offering me quroot.
130
00:06:38,530 --> 00:06:39,889
You too, huh? You want quroot?
131
00:06:39,890 --> 00:06:41,409
No, Faruq, because it tastes like
132
00:06:41,410 --> 00:06:44,209
cottage cheese that's been pissed on.
Do you have anything else?
133
00:06:44,210 --> 00:06:46,411
You want good scoff, I get you
good scoff.
134
00:06:46,412 --> 00:06:50,530
You like fresh, juicy, ripe mangoes?
135
00:06:50,531 --> 00:06:52,570
Yes. Me too.
136
00:06:52,571 --> 00:06:55,530
Sadly, they would be
impossible to obtain.
137
00:06:55,531 --> 00:06:57,611
But I see what I can do!
Bye-bye!
138
00:06:58,971 --> 00:07:00,051
Good.
139
00:07:01,091 --> 00:07:02,331
Sir?
140
00:07:03,771 --> 00:07:07,090
Sir, could I have a word?
Is it about the food?
141
00:07:07,091 --> 00:07:10,730
Dreadful, isn't it?
Still, what's the first rule?
142
00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:13,329
If you want good food,
don't join the Army.
143
00:07:13,330 --> 00:07:15,569
Should've stuck to what we know
and invaded France.
144
00:07:15,570 --> 00:07:18,249
I bet Wellington had foie gras
every bloody night.
145
00:07:18,250 --> 00:07:19,649
We should invade France?
146
00:07:19,650 --> 00:07:22,169
Napoleon's men lived off
the land, of course.
147
00:07:22,170 --> 00:07:25,051
Annoys the locals, but you do
discover regional delicacies.
148
00:07:25,052 --> 00:07:28,010
Like the Afghan tiger gecko.
149
00:07:28,011 --> 00:07:30,450
Come again?
Lizards. Keep up.
150
00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:31,849
The Afghan tiger gecko.
151
00:07:31,850 --> 00:07:34,811
Highly endangered, on account
of being absolutely delicious.
152
00:07:34,812 --> 00:07:36,290
Really? Mm.
153
00:07:36,291 --> 00:07:38,290
Fresh. Creamy. Like oysters.
154
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,451
These days there's so few of them,
155
00:07:40,452 --> 00:07:43,330
they're confined to just two valleys
156
00:07:43,331 --> 00:07:46,090
about four miles east of Malgir.
157
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:48,291
Where we were this morning, sir.
158
00:07:52,891 --> 00:07:54,409
Black. Yellowy stripes.
159
00:07:54,410 --> 00:07:56,411
You haven't seen one, have you?
160
00:07:56,412 --> 00:07:57,730
No, sir.
161
00:07:57,731 --> 00:07:59,490
Not even a tiny one?
162
00:07:59,491 --> 00:08:03,569
Probably just as well. They're on
some UN list of protected yumminess.
163
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:06,009
Very bad form to catch them.
Kill them.
164
00:08:06,010 --> 00:08:08,611
Poach them gently in a good
chenin blanc.
165
00:08:09,651 --> 00:08:10,890
Sir.
166
00:08:10,891 --> 00:08:12,371
You slept with that Padre yet?
167
00:08:12,372 --> 00:08:15,131
What?
I'll take that as a no. Carry on.
168
00:08:21,611 --> 00:08:24,050
See yous later.
169
00:08:24,051 --> 00:08:26,531
Bye, Rocket. Everything all
right, Millsy?
170
00:08:26,532 --> 00:08:29,850
Fine, Padre, yeah. Just fine.
171
00:08:29,851 --> 00:08:31,411
Is Nick not keeping you busy?
172
00:08:31,412 --> 00:08:34,410
No, no. Not today.
173
00:08:34,411 --> 00:08:37,371
But it's OK. Just the way he is
sometimes, you know?
174
00:08:37,372 --> 00:08:38,770
How is that, then?
175
00:08:38,771 --> 00:08:40,689
Oh, no, no, no. I'm not having a go.
176
00:08:40,690 --> 00:08:43,731
Just saying I know we can all get a
bit pointy when we're stressed.
177
00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:45,730
But it's fine, it's fine.
178
00:08:45,731 --> 00:08:47,489
Do you want me to talk to him?
179
00:08:47,490 --> 00:08:49,729
I would love that. I would really,
really love that.
180
00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:51,731
What would be the best thing
for me to say?
181
00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:53,370
You...
182
00:08:53,371 --> 00:08:54,810
Nothing.
183
00:08:54,811 --> 00:08:55,930
No.
184
00:08:55,931 --> 00:08:57,970
No, no, no, nothing. Nothing.
185
00:08:57,971 --> 00:08:59,770
It's fine.
186
00:08:59,771 --> 00:09:04,009
It's just sometimes I feel
I could do a much better job if he just let me in on stuff.
187
00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:08,729
I've had all this training, I know
I could do my job a lot better if I could just use all of it and it's...
188
00:09:08,730 --> 00:09:12,209
Actually, do you know what?
Don't worry about it. It's fine.
189
00:09:12,210 --> 00:09:13,769
I should, er... Millsy.
190
00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:15,409
I haven't known Nick for very long,
191
00:09:15,410 --> 00:09:17,369
although I think
I've kind of worked him out.
192
00:09:17,370 --> 00:09:19,489
But he can be quite spiky,
and actually...
193
00:09:19,490 --> 00:09:21,729
No. No, no, no, no.
Nick's amazing.
194
00:09:21,730 --> 00:09:25,369
Really. Yeah, and he... and he likes
you, he really likes you.
195
00:09:25,370 --> 00:09:28,011
I mean, he said...
Millsy, can I stop you there?
196
00:09:28,012 --> 00:09:30,930
Because we are here
to do a job, so...
197
00:09:30,931 --> 00:09:33,611
Nick and I will be keeping
things strictly professional.
198
00:09:33,612 --> 00:09:35,210
Of course.
199
00:09:35,211 --> 00:09:36,490
Sorry.
200
00:09:36,491 --> 00:09:37,731
It's OK.
201
00:09:39,011 --> 00:09:41,091
Actually, what did he say? Well...
202
00:09:41,092 --> 00:09:44,370
No, forget it. Um... see you
later, Millsy.
203
00:09:44,371 --> 00:09:45,491
Yeah.
204
00:10:04,851 --> 00:10:09,130
This is the most boring fucking film
I've ever fucking seen.
205
00:10:09,131 --> 00:10:11,689
- You're joking, right?
- Thin Red Line?
206
00:10:11,690 --> 00:10:13,249
Thin Red Shite, more like.
207
00:10:13,250 --> 00:10:15,609
Does anyone care if I turn it
off? Sooner the better.
208
00:10:15,610 --> 00:10:17,689
What?! There's only an hour left!
209
00:10:17,690 --> 00:10:20,129
You've got to be fucking
kidding me. Another hour?!
210
00:10:20,130 --> 00:10:22,009
What is wrong with you people?
211
00:10:22,010 --> 00:10:25,331
The Daily Telegraph said...
What a steaming pile of crap.
212
00:10:25,332 --> 00:10:27,170
Aye, crap. No.
213
00:10:27,171 --> 00:10:30,691
No, The Thin Red Line is one of the
greatest war films of all time.
214
00:10:30,692 --> 00:10:33,370
Back me up here, boss.
What's that?
215
00:10:33,371 --> 00:10:35,489
The Thin Red Line.
A significant film.
216
00:10:35,490 --> 00:10:37,089
It was certainly significant for me.
217
00:10:37,090 --> 00:10:39,329
Whole bunch of us went to
see it when we turned 18...
218
00:10:39,330 --> 00:10:42,531
Thank you... and I have never
been more bored.
219
00:10:42,532 --> 00:10:48,171
I was so bored, I thought I'd died,
gone to hell, and got bored.
220
00:10:49,211 --> 00:10:51,529
Least you were lucky enough
to see it on the big screen.
221
00:10:51,530 --> 00:10:54,889
Not really. Mm. I was too young
to go and see it at the cinema.
222
00:10:54,890 --> 00:10:56,651
Eh? You're older than him.
No, I'm not.
223
00:10:56,652 --> 00:10:58,370
Ah, ye are! No, I'm not.
224
00:10:58,371 --> 00:11:00,730
How old do you think I am?
36?
225
00:11:00,731 --> 00:11:02,731
I was going to say about 42.
Oh, aye.
226
00:11:02,732 --> 00:11:04,450
I'm 28!
227
00:11:04,451 --> 00:11:06,771
28!
228
00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:10,890
What, seriously?
229
00:11:10,891 --> 00:11:12,891
You make it sound like I'm past it.
230
00:11:13,891 --> 00:11:17,049
You lot think I'm past it. Nobody
thinks you're past it, Simon.
231
00:11:17,050 --> 00:11:19,491
You called me a dozy
fucking pensioner.
232
00:11:19,492 --> 00:11:21,410
Did I? Yeah, I probably did.
233
00:11:21,411 --> 00:11:23,291
GUFFAWING
You called me Grandad.
234
00:11:23,292 --> 00:11:27,890
You were having a wet dream
about fruitcake. I like... cake!
235
00:11:27,891 --> 00:11:31,010
OK? Somebody say something
about cake?
236
00:11:31,011 --> 00:11:32,851
You do make that noise
when ye sit down.
237
00:11:32,852 --> 00:11:33,971
What noise?
238
00:11:35,691 --> 00:11:37,970
Oh!
239
00:11:37,971 --> 00:11:40,209
Pfff! I don't make that noise.
Pfff!
240
00:11:40,210 --> 00:11:43,211
And you go "Pfff!"
when you're annoyed. Pfff!
241
00:11:43,212 --> 00:11:44,290
Pfff! Pfff!
242
00:11:44,291 --> 00:11:47,210
Pfff! Pfff! Pfff! Pfff!
243
00:11:47,211 --> 00:11:48,811
Fuck off!
244
00:11:50,011 --> 00:11:52,289
Can we just please watch
the rest of the film?
245
00:11:52,290 --> 00:11:55,489
Nah. Let's watch Heartbreak Ridge.
Aye! The Ridge!
246
00:11:55,490 --> 00:11:57,771
Oh, no, no! It's too late
to start another film!
247
00:11:57,772 --> 00:12:00,090
"Oh, it's too late!"
248
00:12:00,091 --> 00:12:03,291
Oh, is it getting late, Grandad?
May I remind you,
249
00:12:03,292 --> 00:12:05,690
we all have to be up at 0630?
250
00:12:05,691 --> 00:12:08,290
You are so old!
251
00:12:08,291 --> 00:12:09,690
Quack, quack!
252
00:12:09,691 --> 00:12:11,730
Sod off. I'm going to bed.
253
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,930
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
254
00:12:13,931 --> 00:12:15,611
Millsy will bring you some hot milk.
255
00:12:15,612 --> 00:12:19,730
Actually, we're out of milk.
Millsy, I was... Forget it.
256
00:12:19,731 --> 00:12:21,251
I think I'll turn in as well.
257
00:12:21,252 --> 00:12:23,970
Good night, guys.
Nick?
258
00:12:23,971 --> 00:12:27,090
Can I have a word? In private?
At this hour?
259
00:12:27,091 --> 00:12:28,971
Intriguing. Yes, please.
260
00:12:30,971 --> 00:12:33,530
Ah, biscuits, brown.
261
00:12:33,531 --> 00:12:35,170
My favourite.
262
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:37,651
In the absence of all other
biscuits. Hm.
263
00:12:37,652 --> 00:12:40,730
Yeah, I'm out of wafers, pink.
264
00:12:40,731 --> 00:12:43,651
So... So, I wanted to talk to you
about Millsy.
265
00:12:43,652 --> 00:12:45,410
Oh. Look...
266
00:12:45,411 --> 00:12:49,009
When I was in training, I got used
as target practice for golf balls,
267
00:12:49,010 --> 00:12:51,649
so the occasional game of dartboard
runaround is really...
268
00:12:51,650 --> 00:12:53,729
And this isn't about that, is it?
269
00:12:53,730 --> 00:12:56,369
I think he feels like a spare
part. Yeah.
270
00:12:56,370 --> 00:12:59,409
A spare part who doesn't spend his
time inches away from something
271
00:12:59,410 --> 00:13:01,929
that will probably, at some
point, blow him to pieces.
272
00:13:01,930 --> 00:13:05,771
I'm not sure if I've told you
this, but my job is almost unimaginably dangerous.
273
00:13:05,772 --> 00:13:08,170
It has come up once or twice, yes,
274
00:13:08,171 --> 00:13:12,810
but all I'm saying is,
why don't you... let him in?
275
00:13:12,811 --> 00:13:14,850
Ah, yes. Let him in.
276
00:13:14,851 --> 00:13:17,769
I forgot chapter 76
of the ATO training manual,
277
00:13:17,770 --> 00:13:21,449
"When relating to your number two,
always ensure that you... let him in."
278
00:13:21,450 --> 00:13:24,171
He's a young man who wants to do
a good job. So, give him...
279
00:13:24,172 --> 00:13:25,210
His... his head?
280
00:13:25,211 --> 00:13:28,651
Actually, that is what bomb disposal
experts need. Head.
281
00:13:28,652 --> 00:13:30,770
Oh, yes. Clever.
282
00:13:30,771 --> 00:13:33,411
Millsy mentioned something
about a retraining exercise.
283
00:13:33,412 --> 00:13:36,011
Why don't you talk to him about it?
284
00:13:37,451 --> 00:13:38,890
For me?
285
00:13:38,891 --> 00:13:41,211
So, team, time for a retraining
exercise.
286
00:13:41,212 --> 00:13:42,370
Aw...! Bollocks.
287
00:13:42,371 --> 00:13:45,609
I thought you got us here to dish
out post. Hasn't arrived. Shite.
288
00:13:45,610 --> 00:13:48,649
I was expecting my Mars bars
so I only had the one breakfast.
289
00:13:48,650 --> 00:13:52,849
Millsy will help us understand
the importance of staying in the marked areas,
290
00:13:52,850 --> 00:13:55,049
by going through
yesterday's incident.
291
00:13:55,050 --> 00:13:56,169
Really? Do we have to?
292
00:13:56,170 --> 00:13:57,731
Let's get it over with.
293
00:13:57,732 --> 00:13:59,970
Millsy. Thanks, boss.
294
00:13:59,971 --> 00:14:01,291
OK.
295
00:14:03,451 --> 00:14:05,570
It was nearly 0900.
296
00:14:05,571 --> 00:14:07,090
The mist had cleared,
297
00:14:07,091 --> 00:14:10,731
and a light wind from the south
stirred the leaves in the trees.
298
00:14:10,732 --> 00:14:13,970
Cautiously, a small brave
detachment...
299
00:14:13,971 --> 00:14:15,571
Millsy, what are you doing?
300
00:14:15,572 --> 00:14:16,730
Boss?
301
00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:21,371
Either I've stumbled into
Poetry Corner or you, Millsy, are talking like a cunt.
302
00:14:23,251 --> 00:14:24,851
Which is it?
Poetry Corner, boss?
303
00:14:24,852 --> 00:14:26,130
No.
304
00:14:26,131 --> 00:14:27,930
Oh. Sorry.
305
00:14:27,931 --> 00:14:30,649
So, I've recreated
where everyone was standing
306
00:14:30,650 --> 00:14:33,209
when the suspected
secondary was spotted.
307
00:14:33,210 --> 00:14:34,571
If you'd like to follow me.
308
00:14:36,971 --> 00:14:38,010
Oh, dear.
309
00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:40,810
You've drawn pictures of us. Sweet!
310
00:14:40,811 --> 00:14:43,211
What the fuck is that?
311
00:14:45,211 --> 00:14:46,850
I don't smoke a pipe!
312
00:14:46,851 --> 00:14:49,171
All right. Just a bit
of artistic license.
313
00:14:49,172 --> 00:14:51,210
I'm 28!
314
00:14:51,211 --> 00:14:53,050
Sorry. OK.
315
00:14:53,051 --> 00:14:55,730
So, Simon was standing here.
316
00:14:55,731 --> 00:14:57,650
The yellow line was here,
317
00:14:57,651 --> 00:14:59,851
and in trying to see an enemy
over there,
318
00:14:59,852 --> 00:15:02,090
he overstepped the line... here.
319
00:15:02,091 --> 00:15:05,170
This is excellent, Millsy.
Do go on.
320
00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:06,770
Really?
321
00:15:06,771 --> 00:15:07,970
Yeah.
322
00:15:07,971 --> 00:15:09,570
OK. Thanks, boss.
323
00:15:09,571 --> 00:15:11,851
So, I'd like everyone
to break up into pairs.
324
00:15:11,852 --> 00:15:14,730
Ask 'em when the post
is getting here.
325
00:15:14,731 --> 00:15:17,851
Everyone, break up into pairs and
make a list of potential hazards.
326
00:15:17,852 --> 00:15:21,450
Thank you. Pairs, gay. Lists... gay.
327
00:15:21,451 --> 00:15:23,729
I cannae make a list.
I've no' got a pen.
328
00:15:23,730 --> 00:15:26,769
Sorry, Millsy. No time for getting
into pairs. We've got to go.
329
00:15:26,770 --> 00:15:28,209
Are you serious? What is it?
330
00:15:28,210 --> 00:15:30,169
Well, something's holding up
the post truck
331
00:15:30,170 --> 00:15:33,531
and I don't want to lapse into
jargon here, but I think it's what we call a bomb.
332
00:15:33,532 --> 00:15:36,171
Hey! We do those, don't we?
Let's go.
333
00:15:49,611 --> 00:15:52,371
It says here you find them
in rocky areas.
334
00:15:52,372 --> 00:15:54,890
Rocky areas, marshy areas...
335
00:15:54,891 --> 00:15:57,049
other areas, all over the shop!
336
00:15:57,050 --> 00:15:59,609
Well, thank you very much,
David Attenborough.
337
00:15:59,610 --> 00:16:01,131
You like David Attenborough?
338
00:16:01,132 --> 00:16:03,850
I can get DVD of Frozen Planet.
339
00:16:03,851 --> 00:16:06,411
20 dollars. It is agreed.
No, Faruq, I...
340
00:16:08,011 --> 00:16:09,769
What? The kit's ready, boss.
341
00:16:09,770 --> 00:16:12,251
Is there anything else here
you'd like me to do?
342
00:16:12,252 --> 00:16:13,530
Not really.
343
00:16:13,531 --> 00:16:16,851
We've got to wait 20 minutes for the
search team to finish anyway.
344
00:16:16,852 --> 00:16:19,250
Why don't you go over there
345
00:16:19,251 --> 00:16:22,011
and run through that
retraining exercise again?
346
00:16:22,012 --> 00:16:23,690
Again, boss? Mm.
347
00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:26,050
You mean finish it? Yeah.
348
00:16:26,051 --> 00:16:27,810
Crack on.
349
00:16:27,811 --> 00:16:31,090
Faruq and I will be... here...
350
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:32,330
talking.
351
00:16:32,331 --> 00:16:36,011
Right. Um... this exercise ideally
should involve you, boss.
352
00:16:36,012 --> 00:16:38,850
Mm-hm. It could.
It... doesn't have to.
353
00:16:38,851 --> 00:16:42,571
You... You won't be needed for this,
boss. I'll take it from here.
354
00:16:43,651 --> 00:16:45,851
Bluestone 42, back in your pairs.
355
00:16:45,852 --> 00:16:47,130
Oh, no! Really?
356
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:49,810
Did something move? Down there?
357
00:16:49,811 --> 00:16:51,571
I don't know. I can't see anything.
358
00:16:51,572 --> 00:16:54,490
Does it really taste that good?
Oh, yes.
359
00:16:54,491 --> 00:16:56,169
Especially with some quroot.
360
00:16:56,170 --> 00:16:59,811
Yeah, because you know how much
I love that salty, salty yoghurt.
361
00:16:59,812 --> 00:17:03,410
Ah, but with the lizard...
Ooh, it is amazing.
362
00:17:03,411 --> 00:17:06,371
The salt, it brings out
the flavour of the meat.
363
00:17:06,372 --> 00:17:08,210
It tastes like... panda.
364
00:17:08,211 --> 00:17:11,609
I thought it tasted more like
oysters. Sorry, you've eaten panda?
365
00:17:11,610 --> 00:17:13,651
Sure you don't want
to make up a three, boss?
366
00:17:13,652 --> 00:17:14,771
Ah, Bird.
367
00:17:16,091 --> 00:17:17,931
Cordon secure?
It is, boss.
368
00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:21,409
We've considered the risk of
RCs? We have.
369
00:17:21,410 --> 00:17:25,169
We've also considered the risk
of you not clearing the road for the post truck,
370
00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:27,291
cos you're too busy
searching for lizards.
371
00:17:27,292 --> 00:17:29,210
Lizards? Huh!
372
00:17:29,211 --> 00:17:31,531
We're not searching for
lizards. Ooh, there's one.
373
00:17:31,532 --> 00:17:33,690
Is there? Where?
374
00:17:33,691 --> 00:17:36,130
Ah, she is smart lady.
375
00:17:36,131 --> 00:17:38,891
But that is why
we don't teach them to read.
376
00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:41,011
Fuck you!
377
00:17:48,371 --> 00:17:50,011
Hello, little fella!
378
00:17:50,971 --> 00:17:53,530
Hello! Look at you, stripy!
379
00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:55,570
Come on, now. Shoo.
380
00:17:55,571 --> 00:17:58,570
Shoo. Go on, go.
381
00:17:58,571 --> 00:18:00,530
Off you pop.
382
00:18:00,531 --> 00:18:03,250
Wait! I see someone. Over there.
383
00:18:03,251 --> 00:18:06,291
You sure, Skip? Your eyes
aren't whit they used to be.
384
00:18:06,292 --> 00:18:08,690
Not now, Mac! Yeah, he's back.
385
00:18:08,691 --> 00:18:12,570
Right, everyone. Cover!
Oh, ha-ha!
386
00:18:12,571 --> 00:18:14,851
I'm no' falling for that one again.
387
00:18:14,852 --> 00:18:15,890
Shite!
388
00:18:15,891 --> 00:18:18,931
Charlie 1, this is Bluestone
42. Contact. Wait out.
389
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,210
Contact right! Bluestone 42!
390
00:18:21,211 --> 00:18:24,291
One hostile, corner of
the compound, 200 metres!
391
00:18:26,411 --> 00:18:27,651
I see him.
392
00:18:40,051 --> 00:18:41,570
Bloody hell, Skip.
393
00:18:41,571 --> 00:18:43,489
That was some fucking shot, eh?
394
00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:46,851
Well, it's what we train for.
Someone give that man a cigarette!
395
00:18:46,852 --> 00:18:48,290
I don't smoke. Yes,
396
00:18:48,291 --> 00:18:51,170
I know, I mean, well done,
basically.
397
00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:53,889
I think we can officially say
that you... are not past it.
398
00:18:53,890 --> 00:18:55,289
Yes! Thank you, boss.
399
00:18:55,290 --> 00:19:00,289
All right, now keep those eyes
peeled. Terry Taliban may have some friends.
400
00:19:00,290 --> 00:19:03,251
Amazing what an early night
can do for ye, eh, Granda?
401
00:19:03,252 --> 00:19:05,290
Fuck off.
402
00:19:05,291 --> 00:19:06,611
Eyes on.
403
00:19:19,451 --> 00:19:21,009
OK, Millsy, just bagging up.
404
00:19:21,010 --> 00:19:23,531
Why don't you get a brew
on? Okey-dokey.
405
00:19:40,891 --> 00:19:42,011
OK.
406
00:19:44,091 --> 00:19:45,171
Oh...
407
00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:48,410
Millsy?
408
00:19:48,411 --> 00:19:50,491
Get a visual on nearby reptile.
409
00:19:50,492 --> 00:19:53,010
Reptile, boss? Like a lizard?
410
00:19:53,011 --> 00:19:54,210
Oh, right.
411
00:19:54,211 --> 00:19:56,649
I...I saw one of those earlier.
Yeah, it was by the kit.
412
00:19:56,650 --> 00:20:00,051
It was black with all these yellowy
stripes. I just shooed it away.
413
00:20:00,052 --> 00:20:01,810
What? No!
414
00:20:01,811 --> 00:20:03,890
Shit! Millsy.
415
00:20:03,891 --> 00:20:05,889
I really wanted that lizard.
All right.
416
00:20:05,890 --> 00:20:07,689
You didn't tell me, boss,
I didn't know.
417
00:20:07,690 --> 00:20:09,249
No. No, I don't suppose I did.
418
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:11,331
I suppose I should have
let you in.
419
00:20:13,131 --> 00:20:14,330
OK.
420
00:20:14,331 --> 00:20:18,090
OK, look, um... do you think
you could shoot this one?
421
00:20:18,091 --> 00:20:20,170
It's, er...
422
00:20:20,171 --> 00:20:21,489
It's posing a threat.
423
00:20:21,490 --> 00:20:24,289
I thought you were finished, boss?
It's a distraction, Millsy.
424
00:20:24,290 --> 00:20:26,329
And therefore a threat.
All right.
425
00:20:26,330 --> 00:20:28,531
But, um... aren't you a bit nearer?
426
00:20:28,532 --> 00:20:31,970
Yeah, I'm also nearer 20
pounds of HME.
427
00:20:31,971 --> 00:20:34,409
Can you just get Corporal Crackshot
to have a pop at it?
428
00:20:34,410 --> 00:20:36,809
But it's not harming anyone,
boss. Poor little thing.
429
00:20:36,810 --> 00:20:38,291
It's a fucking lizard, Millsy!
430
00:20:38,292 --> 00:20:40,050
Grow a pair. Boss.
431
00:20:40,051 --> 00:20:42,771
Simon, the boss wants you
to shoot that lizard.
432
00:20:44,211 --> 00:20:46,931
He wants me to shoot
a lizard? OK.
433
00:20:48,091 --> 00:20:49,651
Just letting all units know
434
00:20:49,652 --> 00:20:53,691
that Corporal Lansley is
about to fire at a... UDR.
435
00:20:54,851 --> 00:20:57,171
An unauthorised distracting
reptile? I dunno!
436
00:20:57,172 --> 00:21:01,290
Hey, lizard. You
wanna ask yourself one question.
437
00:21:01,291 --> 00:21:03,011
Do I feel lucky?
438
00:21:06,451 --> 00:21:08,251
Aye. I dae feel lucky.
439
00:21:10,891 --> 00:21:11,970
Very lucky.
440
00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:15,691
Cos the guy that's shooting at me
is a dozy fucking pensioner.
441
00:21:15,692 --> 00:21:17,690
Ooh! I'll do it, Skip.
442
00:21:17,691 --> 00:21:20,091
No, Rocket, it's all right.
I've got this.
443
00:21:26,371 --> 00:21:28,091
Lizard neutralised, boss.
444
00:21:38,691 --> 00:21:40,411
Well, that looks filling.
445
00:21:47,371 --> 00:21:48,650
Carry on.
446
00:21:48,651 --> 00:21:51,091
How's the food, everyone?
Still horrid?
447
00:21:51,092 --> 00:21:53,051
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
448
00:21:54,251 --> 00:21:56,011
Well, buck up. Post's here.
449
00:21:56,012 --> 00:21:58,130
Finally, treats! Yum!
450
00:21:58,131 --> 00:21:59,169
Here comes ketchup!
451
00:21:59,170 --> 00:22:00,891
There's one here for you, sir.
Thanks.
452
00:22:00,892 --> 00:22:03,010
For you, Bird.
453
00:22:03,011 --> 00:22:06,530
Oh, my four-year-old's drawn
me a picture.
454
00:22:06,531 --> 00:22:08,291
Can anyone tell what it is?
455
00:22:11,051 --> 00:22:13,371
If you have any thoughts,
let me know, hm?
456
00:22:19,531 --> 00:22:20,970
Oh. "Dear Lynda.
457
00:22:20,971 --> 00:22:23,891
"Your sister thought you might
appreciate something girly."
458
00:22:23,892 --> 00:22:25,170
What?
459
00:22:25,171 --> 00:22:27,049
Mango and coconut body wash?
460
00:22:27,050 --> 00:22:30,289
What a bitch! What am I supposed
to do with this?
461
00:22:30,290 --> 00:22:32,651
Piss off! Ah, the young Scot's
worst nightmare.
462
00:22:32,652 --> 00:22:34,170
Soap and fruit in one.
463
00:22:34,171 --> 00:22:36,811
Chocolates?
464
00:22:38,451 --> 00:22:40,650
Ho-ho-ho!
465
00:22:40,651 --> 00:22:43,971
It's... Travel Scrabble.
It's great!
466
00:22:46,011 --> 00:22:48,770
I mean, shit. Shit.
467
00:22:48,771 --> 00:22:51,411
Ohhh! She found them!
468
00:22:54,291 --> 00:22:57,850
Past it! Past it!
Pipe and slippers!
469
00:22:57,851 --> 00:23:00,251
I do not smoke a pipe!
470
00:23:01,251 --> 00:23:02,930
Ahhh!
471
00:23:02,931 --> 00:23:04,890
Right, guys.
472
00:23:04,891 --> 00:23:09,450
Yous can have some of my Mars bars.
473
00:23:09,451 --> 00:23:11,770
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
474
00:23:11,771 --> 00:23:14,050
Oh, that's fucking hilarious!
475
00:23:14,051 --> 00:23:18,371
He said he was sending me Mars bars,
and instead he sent me fake dog poo!
476
00:23:18,372 --> 00:23:19,490
Brilliant!
477
00:23:19,491 --> 00:23:23,249
But we can't eat it, though, can we?
What? The food here's fine.
478
00:23:23,250 --> 00:23:25,089
I wanted some of your
fucking Mars bars!
479
00:23:25,090 --> 00:23:27,171
All right, Mac,
you greedy bastard.
480
00:23:27,172 --> 00:23:29,610
This is the worst Christmas ever.
481
00:23:29,611 --> 00:23:31,850
All the presents are shite...
482
00:23:31,851 --> 00:23:33,611
and it's no' even Christmas.
483
00:23:38,931 --> 00:23:39,969
Is this all right?
484
00:23:39,970 --> 00:23:42,569
Are those seriously the best flowers
you could find?
485
00:23:42,570 --> 00:23:45,129
I can try and find some others,
but we are in the middle of...
486
00:23:45,130 --> 00:23:47,609
No, don't worry. They'll do.
What's left on the list?
487
00:23:47,610 --> 00:23:48,849
I've ironed your camos...
488
00:23:48,850 --> 00:23:52,409
So, all you've got to do
is sweep the det, then you can go and play Scrabble.
489
00:23:52,410 --> 00:23:57,449
Yes! All right, listen.
I was thinking that we could set up a tournament and...
490
00:23:57,450 --> 00:24:01,209
You wouldn't need to be involved.
I'll... I'll see you later.
491
00:24:01,210 --> 00:24:03,611
Now, promise me there's no
quroot in this.
492
00:24:03,612 --> 00:24:05,650
No, this is my wife's recipe.
493
00:24:05,651 --> 00:24:08,290
Braised Afghan tiger gecko.
494
00:24:08,291 --> 00:24:09,969
It is her signature dish.
495
00:24:09,970 --> 00:24:13,089
As a girl, she used to trap
them in her back garden.
496
00:24:13,090 --> 00:24:15,089
That doesn't seem very
sportsmanlike.
497
00:24:15,090 --> 00:24:18,529
Well, in those days she did not have
access to an SA80 rifle, eh?
498
00:24:18,530 --> 00:24:20,651
Yeah, just the AK-47s
from the mujaheddin?
499
00:24:20,652 --> 00:24:24,370
Yes, very hard-wearing
but not so accurate.
500
00:24:24,371 --> 00:24:26,971
Excellent for crowds,
but not for hunting.
501
00:24:26,972 --> 00:24:29,610
Right. Knock, knock.
502
00:24:29,611 --> 00:24:30,930
Who's there? Hi!
503
00:24:30,931 --> 00:24:32,330
Oh, hi, Faruq.
504
00:24:32,331 --> 00:24:34,529
Millsy said you were looking
for me? Yes, I am.
505
00:24:34,530 --> 00:24:37,009
Have a seat. Ooh, metal cutlery.
Now, there's posh.
506
00:24:37,010 --> 00:24:38,129
Well, we aim to please.
507
00:24:38,130 --> 00:24:40,529
Thank you for talking to Millsy.
He seems much happier.
508
00:24:40,530 --> 00:24:43,091
He's running around like
a lunatic, fetching and carrying.
509
00:24:43,092 --> 00:24:45,610
Well, a woman's work
is never done.
510
00:24:45,611 --> 00:24:49,570
And, yes, I am implying
that Millsy is a woman.
511
00:24:49,571 --> 00:24:52,729
How demeaning for him.
And how charming for me.
512
00:24:52,730 --> 00:24:54,371
What is that amazing smell?
513
00:24:54,372 --> 00:24:56,610
That'll be the oysters.
514
00:24:56,611 --> 00:24:59,969
Oysters? Out here? Who do you have
to sleep with to get them?
515
00:24:59,970 --> 00:25:02,771
That's a question you should be
asking yourself.
516
00:25:06,571 --> 00:25:10,889
OK, so they're not technically
oysters, but apparently they taste just like them.
517
00:25:10,890 --> 00:25:13,289
They look a bit...
Just close your eyes
518
00:25:13,290 --> 00:25:14,609
and open your mouth.
519
00:25:14,610 --> 00:25:17,771
That's not the sort of advice I
follow when you're around, Nick.
520
00:25:24,451 --> 00:25:26,170
Oh, my...
521
00:25:26,171 --> 00:25:27,610
Mmm.
522
00:25:27,611 --> 00:25:29,930
Mmm!
523
00:25:29,931 --> 00:25:32,050
Mmm. Oh.
524
00:25:32,051 --> 00:25:33,850
Mmm.
525
00:25:33,851 --> 00:25:35,451
Mmm...
526
00:25:37,331 --> 00:25:39,570
Mmmm!
527
00:25:39,571 --> 00:25:41,410
Oh...
528
00:25:41,411 --> 00:25:44,530
This is so yummy, I think
I might cry.
529
00:25:44,531 --> 00:25:48,569
Oh! Mmm! I don't know why people
don't eat these all the time.
530
00:25:48,570 --> 00:25:51,251
Because they're critically
endangered, Padre.
531
00:25:51,252 --> 00:25:53,610
What?
532
00:25:53,611 --> 00:25:55,250
How's the lizard?
533
00:25:55,251 --> 00:25:59,051
Lizard? This is... This is lizard,
and it's critically endangered?
534
00:25:59,052 --> 00:26:00,370
Yeah.
535
00:26:00,371 --> 00:26:02,690
But what does that really mean?
536
00:26:02,691 --> 00:26:05,289
Less than 70 breeding pairs,
apparently. SHE GASPS
537
00:26:05,290 --> 00:26:07,291
Ooh, is that spare?
Not... really.
538
00:26:08,531 --> 00:26:10,650
Oh. Yumbles! Mmm!
539
00:26:10,651 --> 00:26:12,010
It's been too long.
540
00:26:12,011 --> 00:26:13,409
What were you thinking?
541
00:26:13,410 --> 00:26:15,491
I think we both know
the answer to that. Right!
542
00:26:15,492 --> 00:26:17,890
Get out.
These are my quarters.
543
00:26:17,891 --> 00:26:21,051
Your... Whatever. Yeah, fine.
Well, I'm going.
544
00:26:22,611 --> 00:26:25,410
What happened to
"so yummy I think I...
545
00:26:25,411 --> 00:26:27,210
"might cry"?
546
00:26:27,211 --> 00:26:30,491
Sorry, sir, is there something in
particular that you were after?
547
00:26:30,492 --> 00:26:33,090
No, no, just a social visit.
548
00:26:33,091 --> 00:26:35,691
All OK? Excellent. Carry on.
Well, that...
549
00:26:38,331 --> 00:26:39,611
Perfect.
550
00:26:40,125 --> 00:27:08,821
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
551
00:27:08,871 --> 00:27:13,421
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
41824
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.